I have so much hate and contempt for John Henson and those stupid commercials. "We're number drunk!" Because that's a laugh riot, and the Anna Kournikova bit was just oh-so-hilarious. The only way I would have busted a gut is if I took a ritual suicide sword and punctured it.

And what IS it with that funky bleached bit on his head? That alone makes me want to slap him silly.

TheCustomofLife, ::slightly OT:: John Henson's hair-bleach spot is natural. My father had the same thing- jet black hair with a strange patch of white. I have no idea what it's called, but it's definitely dye-resistant.

I guess he hasn't improved any since his stint on Talk Soup.

Oh, I saw the funniest ad today featuring that guy with the shit-eating grin for that impotency drug. Bob is in one of those Japanese places you always see on TV seated at a short table with this sardonic grin on his face (I think that's the word; it makes him look like the Joker). Anyhow, this group of Japanese businessmen enter the room and start negotiating all huddled against the far side of the table, complete with subtitles. The thing that makes it so funny are their comments about his negotiation skils: "He is like wood that does not bend!" "He is a stiff negotiator!" and that the expression on his face never changes throughout the ad. My theory is that he got a hardon and is painfully pinned under the table, unable to escape.

Has anybody seen the Looney Tunes/AFLAC commercial. That aflacing duck was starting to get on my nerves, but this is cute. The duck totally fits in the Looney Tunes world.

Oh Lord...has anyone seen the commercial for the Golden Globes on NBC? Basically just a whole bunch of random quotes and scenes with that awful loopy editing effect (ex: "Oh my-oh my-oh my God, I can't believe I won!" -or- "I'm so-I'm so-I'm so glad to be here!"). This includes a very confused Jack Nicholson swinging the mic stand for what seems like forever b/c of the looping.

Normally I would cringe, but not care too much, but really...too much looping is NOT a good thing.

I FINALLY saw the SuperTarget commercial with all the food characters walking into the store the Kool-Aid Man burst through the wall wearing khakis and it was all I could do not to cry. They couldn't even get the original Oh, Yeah! voice.

Squicked out by the chicken head.

Miki The Brain - the white patch of hair on John Henson's head is called a "skunk spot."

Topic? Uh... John Henson's commercial sucks.

ETA: You may be right that that's the technical term, clichekitty. I just know that's what he called it on "Talk Soup."

I thought it was called the piebald trait.

I totally hear this. I've been on the train when something in the tunnel exploded and fire was seen through every window on one side of the car, yet everyone acted like nothing potentially scary had happened and continued carrying on normal conversations. I would never look at the doll.

There's a video game ad that I cannot STAND, which lately is playing about every 10 minutes. I can't remember the name of it or anything about it because I always try to block it out, and sometimes only hear it from another room. But what I loathe is at the very end, a very screechy voice says "do you like CHOCOLATE??!" Argh! Nails on a chalkboard.

The commercials for John Henson wouldn't be so annoying if they weren't shown every fifteen minutes on Spike. I was trying to enjoy a sophisticated afternoon marathon of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, and had to suffer through a commercial for his damn show every. single. commercial. break. I thought he was funny the first dozen or so times I saw the commercials (what can I say? I like Most Extreme Elimination Challenge - I'm not exactly Dorothy freakin' Parker), but it got old veeeery quickly.


That was me! Meeeeeee! Nice to know that my one potential tm is "beaks 'n' assholes". Like I said, not exactly Dorothy Parker.

Ah yes, that's from the new Dragon Ball Z game. How do I know this? Because my boyfriend sees fit to repeat this line every single day ;)

Hee. Check out today's Foxtrot.

Yup. Foxtrot hits its target with amazing regularity (especially on geeky subjects), and today's entry made me think of this thread too. Woo!

Is that a shout-out?

Hee! What gets me, though, is that he isn't actively ignoring the doll. It's more like he is actually incapable of seeing her, like his peripheral vision is messed up.

Oh, it was a chicken head, alright, ubi. And it has gone down in the hall of fame of "Things I Wish I'd Never Seen." *shudder*

One commercial I actually like is for State Farm - the husband comes home and finds a sexy red dress wrapped in a dry-cleaning bag hanging up. He picks up the dress and looks over to his wife, who is working in the kitchen and has her back to him, as he imagines his wife wearing this dress and they play some type of Barry White/pseudo porn music. Just then his teenage daughter walks in, grabs the dress from him and says "Thanks Dad." The expression on his face is priceless.

On the other side of the coin, I hate the new ESPN promos that postulate "Without Sport," such and such would happen. Only thus far the two installments I've seen seem to suggest the world would be better off without sports because macking girl and guy wouldn't be "disgusting" if they weren't wearing shirts of opposing teams and the girl with the big scab on her arm would have to find some other way to injure herself. WTF? Plus, by no stretch of the imagination are sports in danger of disappearing in the U.S. so I'm not sure what they're trying to say with these spots.

Finally saw the HBO/H2O commercial salute from the Watercooler Industry. It is absolutely brilliant and hilarious.

Another of my favorites that has been recently discussed here is the one for the camera phone where the guy runs into Bigfoot and is mercilessly taunted by him. "No one's gonna believe you, nyah, nyah" - I laughed so hard. Brilliant.

It's from Cingular and I love it.

"You ain't go no piiiiiiictures, 'cause you ain't got no caaaaaaaaamera."

I've just started seeing a classic from a couple years back being played again. It's the milk commercial where a mom is having breakfast with her two kids and trying to urge them to drink milk for stronger bones. The kids blow her off saying that their next door neighbor, who's about 60, never drinks milk and he's as healthy as a horse. To illustrate this, they look outside the window and the neighbor smiles and waves to them. Then he lifts a wheelbarrow full of dirt or sod or something and it's so heavy that his arms break off at the shoulders. He looks down at himself and says mildly, "Uh oh, this isn't good." The kids and mom scream their heads off at the sight and then start frantically drinking their glasses of milk. Makes me laugh my head off every time.

Cripes! How many of those nosehair trimmers are they advertising these days? I had only seen the one with the guys [women like their men perfectly groomed!], but last night I saw one where they show this woman's cootchie. I guess she messed up trying to shave her bikini line, so now she's got bumps and scabs. Nasty! Thank goodness my dinner had already passed on ...

The announcerette was described as a "TV Personality." That one's always a big hoot. TV Personality. Heh.

Is their dad, George Bluth, Sr., trying to teach them a lesson?

Alexandra Bay, I feel your pain. I saw the same movie ad, and I, too, noticed that female naughty bits were practically bursting through the screen, and yet their bearer wasn't worthy of being mentioned along with Luke "The Other" Wilson and Morgan "Another Paycheck Movie" Freeman. I guess I will just dub her Hot Chick.

Re: John Henson, clearly he ain't nothing without his sidekick Tom McNamara. That dude was the genius behind the whole Talk Soup run.

You know, when I saw that episode last night, it reminded me of the commercial. I wonder if that's where they got their inspiration. If so, they made the best of it because the show was a riot.

I saw a good one tonight for AGF mutual funds. This airline steward is explaining the usual blah-blah-blah-safetycakes and then starts getting all Shakespearian-monology. The tag line is: when are you going to start doing what you REALLY want to do? Awww - poor wannabe actor....

Please tell me I'm not the only one who saw this: It's an ad for some crap called Airborne, some effervescent tablet thing like Alka-Seltzer that is supposed to keep you from catching colds (what a claim!).

It basically features Greg Brady (yes, Barry Williams himself) in a whole bunch of scenarios where someone sneezes or coughs near him and he screams, "NOOOO!" Followed by an annoying voice that says, "Invented by a teacher who hated to catch colds in class!" Somehow, they felt the need to clarify this, because, you know, some people actually find it quite enjoyable to catch a cold.

The most hilarious concept of these commercials is that it's one of the new "Eckerd, Genovese, or wherever fine goods are sold!" products (think Chia Pet, Clapper, etc.). Kept me entertained for quite sometime, especially thinking that Barry Williams is desperate enough to do a Clapper-level ad. (he does a mean yell though)

Check out the craptastic ads here: Airborne (btw, there's some contest going on if you can name the celebrity in these ads...grand prize: some Airborne)

Yeah, I've seen those Airborne ads. They're always with Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune as "sponsors."

FYI: Tom McNamara is on the John Henson Project, along with Fred, Perrin and Alan Wu. I liked the show, although I thoroughly agree with the "Enough with the commercials already" feeling.



I was Mac Tonight! I was a drama student when that campaign was running and I did a lot of personal appearances with that damn head on. Frankly, it smelled like rancid cheese in there.

Didn't see it posted, so I must ask it:

Why is Deborah Gibson looking like Britney Spears and trying to sell some karaoke-in-a-mic nonsense toy and then singing "Only In my Dreams"? Is she still relevant since no one saw American Juniors (one hopes) and I doubt most of the 12-18 set have the faintest memory of who she is?

Haven't seen the Airborne ads yet (knock wood) but the only reason that name sounded familiar is because it's a regular on the price is right. I personally like how "it was developed by a school teacher that was sick of catching colds" how the hell can someone "magically' create a cough syrup or tablets or whatever the hell they are??

I bit a VERY (I cannot emphasize this enough) big bullet tonight and watched an hour of skanks and mimbos (male bimbos) trying to one-up each other to get a date with a prize loser. Yes, I watched Elimidate, a show I have never seen in my life, because I thought I caught the tail end of one of the commercials discussed here, but not seen by me. I was rewarded for my tremendous efforts because in that hour I saw:

The Enzyte stiff negotiator commercial - I agree with whomever said that guy looks like he is pinned under the table.

theTampax Pearl plug up the boat ad - Ew, just ew!

and yes,

the Glittery Hoo Hoo- is it really only the container that has glitter on it? If so, why do they give them names like, Peach Shine and Berry Sparkle?

TOPIC? Has anyone else seen the ad for the Hover Disc? Is this the lamest "toy" you can waste your money on, or what? Basically, you get 2 of these things that look like large, flat mylar balloons. And what do you do with them, you ask? You throw them back and forth to each other float them up in the air (If they are filled with helium, which is not included). They spin, they float, they glow in the dark (with stickers added). How exciting! How much do you want to bet you can only use them once? And they want $19.95 plus S&H for a set of 2.

I've never seen the ads, but they always have a stand in the mall around Xmas time that also has those boomerang airplane thingies.

That reminds me, I saw I new ad last night for orange juice that had me laughing. It features this housewife sending this robot after her family because they were slow making it to breakfast. The robot had a big boot and kicked them in the butt. It certainly put the fear of god into her family. hee!

God, this has to be the dumbest product ever! VO: "made from a material developed for space travel!".......or, a mylar balloon, you ass! Plus, the entire concept is based on helium, which they don't include, so I guess you just haul out that old tank o'helium that everyone has sitting in the basement. Ugh.

Another ad hate has been mentioned: about those stop smoking patches/gum where the girl gets in the car and her dad says he's quitting and she says "you're my hero". What bugs me is he says "I'm no super hero".

Well, no shit! She never called you a super hero - that would imply you can fly or scale buildings with a web. Big difference, Dad, so let's keep the head on the shoulders and stay in this realm of reality, 'kay?

Bwah! So wait, the Hover Disc is just a flat mylar balloon, without helium? And they want how much for this?

I loved that. When the neighbor goes, "That isn't good, " it reminds me of the "great googly-moogly" man.

Was it glittery? Sorry, had to ask. Those are some nasty scabs she's got, though.

I know I do. As long as I'm not in class, mind you. Was this "inventor" at least a science teacher?

I just looked on their site - apparently, she's a 2nd grade teacher. Think back on 2nd grade for just a moment..do you ever recall learning anything about science that could potentially lead to inventing miracle drugs? No. By this age, teacher were basically feeding some measly fish in a tank while everyone ooh-ed and aah-ed, so, there goes her credibility.

On the other hand, check out this quote from Kevin Costner from their site:

“Look, Airborne is great. I wouldn't go on a movie set without it; it's on my plane and in my house.” -Kevin Costner, Hollywood, CA

AAAAACK! Was this in New England? I worked at a McDonald's at that time and my franchise hosted one of those appearances.

It was one of our managers who got most excited about it -- mainly, the customers just seemed really, really confused.

Her name, apparently, is Sara Foster, according to IMDb. She basically has no biography, no photo, nothing. It would seem this is her first appearance of any kind. But damn, she's hot.

Yeah. I was one of the "confused" customers. What kills me is that Mac Tonight was supposed to be this adult McDonald's icon, but they were including Mac Tonight toys in Happy Meals. I distinctly recall my brother having a Mac Tonight on a motorcycle.

Hey! Hey! Don't you knock Kevin Costner! He has the coolest birthday ever. Plus, you see, he's in Hollywood, CA. Clearly, the man knows whereof he speaks.

Same with me. I always thought it was a local thing. Apparently not.

Thanks, Midnight Creeper!

I haven't seen the arm-losing neighbor in the milk ad, but the description made me think of George Bluth Sr.'s lessons, too. It adds another dimension to Lindsey thinking one of the lessons was to get them off dairy.

If Tom McNamara is on the John Henson Project, I might have to watch it. But it has to be better than the commercials because they are completely lacking in humor.

Wow, it's tough to find a part of that sentence that doesn't make Costner sound like even more of a self-important asshole than I already thought he was.

On the other hand, it fills me with joy that the talentless troll has been reduced to shilling some crap wonder-drug. Schadenfreude? Me?

Actually, it's Owen "The Only Good" Wilson who is in The Big Bounce.

I know that the eHarmony commercials are corny and normally I'd scoff at them, but seeing those happy couples warms my heart for some reason. It reminds me of how I felt when I first met the Brand Ex, all giddy and thrilled that I had finally found what I was looking for. Of course, sometimes things don't work out, but it's hard to be sad when a nice normal woman is bubbling about how she gets to be with her best friend.

On Christmas Day, I backed out of my driveway and said, "WTF? Why is there a flat, shiny balloon in that tree?" Obviously one of my neighbors had received the Hover Disc for Christmas and within hours of getting it, it was way up in the tree. Then when I saw the commercial the next day, I LMAO thinking how lame that thing was. Who thinks this is a good gift idea?

I am really, really sick of the commerical for Friends. The VO always starts with, "As the countdown begins . . ." or something like that. Ugh! Just let it be over already!

I got hit in the head by one of those fucking hoverdisc thingies at the mall the other day. I wanted to stomp on it and rip it to shreds but I restrained myself and merely growled at the dumbass who tossed it. I hate those guys!

ChinkyGirl: It was one of the salespeople. They stand outside the Apple store here at The Grove in LA and toss the damn things around all the time. I never even knew they rated TV commercials. Who the fuck would buy one?

Was it a salesperson, or just some punk who thought they were cool? Because, really...Hover Discs - not cool at all.

ETA: Hey, who should I credit for coming up with the term "glittery hoo-hoo"? Was it phxchic? I looked back to a million pages and I believe it was her, but I need some confirmation!

Multiple entries for the PC Challenge: A sign of boredom at work.

Ooh, yes! I saw it with the sound off, and that's exactly what I was thinking.

New hate - ads for TD Waterhouse, I think. People are asked what they think of their stock broker, and they're all going "Hate him. I have the ideas, he gets the money". There's a definite subtext that managing stocks is something so easy that anyone could do it, so you're an idiot if you don't. Well, thanks for calling me an idiot, guys.

Yep, you can blame me for it. Trust me, I'm just as shocked as you that it's caught on. Right now, I'm trying to figure out how to create "My Big Fat Glittery Hoo-Hoo" for the current PC without getting banned!

You could have glitter over the appropriate naughty bit, like pixellation only glitterier.

After reading pages and pages of ads about glittery deodorant, resourcefull yet implausible uses for tampons, hover disks (didn't those used to be called frisbees?), dancing penii and whatnot, I've had to accept the inevitable: I am an old fart who watches shows for old farts, because I never see these ads for the kids.

In conclusion, get me my rocking chair and get off the lawn.

edited because commas make all the difference between "My parents, Ayn Rand, and God" and "My parents, Ayn Rand and God."

I can't help thinking it was tossed up there on purpose.

Ohhh alrighty! I already prepared one, but I thought I'd run it by you first. I should really delete this from my work computer before someone finds it anyways ;)

BTW, mine was just a pic of the Tampax Pearl box + pic of the glittery deodorant = "my big fat glittery hoo=hoo", lol...nothing original, but then again, I'm left all alone at work with nothing to do ;)

AlexandriaBay, I have much the same problem. But then every once in a while I will watch something on VH1, or E!, and will see like 5 commercials in a row that were much discussed here. It's very embarassing when I'm with friends, b/c they don't understand TWoP (they have weird jobs where they have to work or something), and I'm going "Oh!", and "That's what they were talking about", etc. And then they're all, "Who was talking about that." "Erm, my...um...coworkers."