I've seen it, and you're not crazy.

Now, I just found something that has to count as one of the weirdest "ads" I've ever seen. You can check it out online here. Supposedly it IS affiliated with Burger King, and you can actually get this chicken to do some really funny stuff. Try "Riverdance" or "Light Fart" as examples. Tell it to eat a Big Mac, and it'll gag then flip you off. It's really funny!

ChinkyGirl - it takes mucha to make mucha! (hee!)


Gogurt: just... ew.

BUT... Gogurt isn't half as bad as Skippy Squeeze Stix. Why in the name of all that is good and holy would someone think it was a good idea to take peanut butter, add extra sugar to it (and sometimes chocolate), and then put it in a tube you squeeze into your mouth?

Oh, wait, here's why:

Up to now, "most peanut butter is eaten in sandwiches," said Ellen Zimmerman, senior associate brand manager of Skippy, which is a division of Unilever Bestfoods. "But sandwiches are not convenient enough for today's consumers, especially for kids who are so active. We needed to generate a portable peanut butter snack to keep up with them." (Washington Post).


I never realized that I needed a portable peanut butter snack other than A PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH IN A ZIPLOC BAG.

That is all.

Whoa, what the hell is this? [jessica simpson]This isn't a real webcam, is it?[/js]

I asked it to do a handstand, a cartwheel, The Robot, lay an egg, and sit on the couch... and it did all of them.

Holy chicken tenders, scarletine, that is frighteningly funny. I asked it to do the Electric Slide and it did!!! Ask it to do the twist or strike a pose. Heh. Is it live or is it Memorex?

FlowingSmooth, I've seen it do the same distinctive movements twice, and it has abruptly jumped from the head-scratching to whatever move you ask it to do so I doubt it's 'live' but instead a crapload of pre-recorded moves programmed to correspond with certain keywords in requests...but it will moonwalk and hide behind the couch for you :D

You're JOKING.

The chicken wouldn't do a striptease for me. Bastard.

Nor will it "zig-a-zig-ahh" for me. I guess it has morals.

I typed in strip and it came up with a box saying it may be performing an action unsuitable for some audiences.

Heh. I got the same thing. I don't know what that chicken was doing in the background but I don't think it was stripping.

It'll even try to pick its nose!! This is so amusing.

Oh dear Lord...that's like the next step after that nasty candy "gel" that you squeeze in your mouth like toothpaste!

Hee! Ask the chicken to do the "YMCA"!

Whoa... wait a sec... isn't the news always warning us about how the children are becoming video-game-obsessed tubs of lard? Who the hell are all these kids that are "so active"? Could they really be clammoring for this kind of snack? First Smuckers makes those premade "Uncrustables" sandwiches (and who could ever eat something called an "uncrustable"?), and now someone's dispensing with the whole bread thing? Urgh...

Anyway, TOPIC! I've just realized why those Dr. Pepper commercials with various singers singing the same "Be you! Do what you do!" song bothers me. These commercials seem to be implying that I don't have "individuality" because of my beverage choices. Well, you know what, Reba? I don't like Dr. Pepper. And stay the fuck out of my refridgerator. I like my orange Fanta just fine.

Dr. Pepper tastes like ass! Have some Fanta, it's got sass!

(Sorry, I know most of you all hate the Fanta girls, but I love the commercials!)

Too bad that can't be their tagline.

Personally, that would be my choice over the alternative, "crustable". Ewww.

What I wouldn't do to see the FantaHos sing that. Yeah!

(Though everyone knows Tab is the soft drink with sass.)

A list of commands the Subservient Chicken will respond to

Warning: Includes colorful language.

I have never understood the uncrustable commercials. Is it really that much trouble to put peanut butter and jelly on bread? Jesus H. Roman, its fucking spreading. How lazy can Americans actually get? Oh, wait, have you seen the ad for the spinning dish brush that pumps its own soap so you just have to stand there holding the dish and the thing, rather than making you exert yourself to move a sponge back and forth.



So, you're not a fan of yo-goat then I take it?

Now that I can get behind.



Heh. They really know their audience, don't they?

Maybe it is 1:30am talking, but..when that chicken gets right up into the camera...he scares the shit out of me. It's all in the freaky eyes, man. *Shivers*

I just saw the Walmart Gingy/Geezer ad again, and they changed the ending!

Now he says "so, my size doesn't matter?" and the geezer replies "You're as big as you think you are."

Did someone get offended, or are there two alternate endings to keep us in suspense?

I am SO glad I'm not the only one freaked out by Senor Pollo Loco. That eye- it's a little beyond creepy.

Among other things, I got the chicken to mimic urinating and defecating, bow down to me, mimic choking to death, and (when asked to hug the TV) make out with a pillow.

I have a new favorite toy!

Why is Wal-Mart exploiting those poor, gay brothers by making them prop that Disney movie? I didn't know Wal-Mart was down with the gay incest-yay.

Speaking of Gingy, they've been running commercials for Shreck 2. The Gingerbread Man is back and gets to turn into the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters. They also have Fiona and Shrek recreating the upside down kiss from Spiderman. This looks like it will be really good, and full of pop-culture parodies of course.

A few pages back someone posted a link to a new Quizno's ad.

People, this ad is based on a filk of the song "Fish heads, fish heads, roly poly fishheads."

It's....just so beautiful. (snif)

So...peanut butter crackers not portable enough? I have wanted to post about this for a long time, but kept forgetting to. I know some people really do like peanut butter enough to eat it straight from the jar, but EW!!!

scarletine, that chicken is a scream! I asked it to breakdance, come here, call me, rap, stand on your head (well, he tried), fly, funky chicken, do a cartwheel, laugh, go away, and read a book. I, also, asked him to strip and to masturbate and got the black box that said, "Chicken may be performing actions unsuitable for all audiences."

OK, as I'm typing this, the commercial you were all talking about for the video vending machine just came on. THE HELL??? I. Don't. Get. It. At. All. How is this really lucrative?

Mr. Puckish and I were salivating over a washing machine we saw advertised last night. I can't remember what brand (GE maybe?), but it's a front-loader that can handle SIXTEEN pairs of jeans. On the one hand, I feel incredibly old for, like, lusting after a washing machine. On the other hand, that's balanced by my urge to stuff the spiffy high-capacity washing machine as full as possible to avoid having to do more than one load a week. That's something I'd have craved in my teens, not something that, to a thirtysomething like me, should be so appealing.



My kids don't think so. They love the animals, and will ask for the yogurt by the type of the animal, not by the flavor.



My kids also love Gogurt. The concept alone is nearly enough to make me retch, as is the thought of drinking my yogurt, but the kids adore it. And with smaller kids, who maybe haven't mastered effective utensil use, the Gogurt can be a good thing for adults, too. When you have a dining room with carpet instead of hard floor, things like this matter. Old. I'm old, I tell you!



My kids (who, by now, have mastered the use of utensils) clamor to spread their peanut butter and jelly onto their sandwiches.Which makes me very happy, because while I'm not so lazy as to buy pre-made peanut butter sandwiches (with or without the crust on), for some reason I really hate spreading peanut butter.



How long has Polly Pocket been around? I thought she was relatively new, but that's probably because my daughter recently got to be Polly Pocket-wanting age. Of course, she also loves those hideous Bratz dolls. (I say yes to Polly Pocket - even at my age, I think she's kind of cute and fun - but a firm and resounding no to those trashy Bratz things.)

And now, to get away from the kidcentric post, the commercial that bugged me over the weekend: the Volkswagen ones. Any of 'em where the lady does the voiceover and calls it "Vokeswagen." I know this is entirely too picky, but damn, how hard is it to say "volks" instead of "vokes"?

Oh! And I finally saw the little sock guy! Hee!

Also, and this is more a promo than a commercial, but the announcer guy on Fox talks about how Flava Flav is gonna be a guest star on some show sometime (I've heard it several times, but haven't been paying much attention). What catches my ear is that there are two versions of the promo: one in which he says "Flava Flav," and one in which he says "Flah-va Flayve." How is it possible for anyone to not know how to pronounce Flava Flav?

Edited because I have to ask: is that chicken wearing a garter belt? It's kind of creepy. I mean, kind of fun, too, but I'm not sure, if I was Burger King, I'd want a "subservient chicken" wearing a garter belt to be my (official or unofficial) mascot. Then again, BK isn't really batting 1000 in the good taste/good judgment department: licking faces is just nasty. I love Mr. Puckish more than anything, but if he licked my face for any reason, I think I'd do a DQ baby headbutt on him.

The doll-size Polly Pocket your daughter is probably playing with is relatively new. The Polly my generation knows and loves, though, kicked all races of ass-and the name polly pocket MADE SENSE. She was, like, a half-inch tall, and she was kept in these little cases that could fit in your pocket and had a scene inside(a park, a mall, etc). Wow, that was awesome.

The Snickers ads with the guy helping the old lady across the street and the guy hitting on the mounted officer are, in fact, old ads that have been resurrected (in keeping with the season, I guess).

Hee! That's it! Damn, we were easily amused.

If you're still squicked out by those, I'm guessing you haven’t seen LL Cool J's little Gatorade "rap." It's seriously about five minutes long.

Ooh, I was all about the Polly Pocket. Until the bratty neighbor boys stole mine. (Don’t think I don't know it was you.) Um, why are they regular-size dolls now? How can they still call it Polly Pocket?

Ewww. Damn, kids are lazy. These kids who find eating a sandwich too taxing are going to grow up to be the people who don't have time for headaches or genital herpes.

Bwee-hee! I'm more concerned with why they're so damn excited Brother Bear is out on DVD. Brother Bear, y'all. And you work at Wal-mart. So does your brother. You don't find anything about that sad? Oh ... so that's why this lame-ass DVD brings so much joy to your lives.

They're maybe three inches tall - at most - now. I mean, still pretty darn tiny. And excruciatingly hard to dress in those wee, wee clothes. (Shut up. I help my daughter dress hers.)

Ugh, I hate "healthy" food that gets these nasty unhealthy things added to them. Remember when granola bars WEREN'T coated with chocolate?


It didn't work for me; the scary chicken walked up to the camera and shook his finger at me on all the links on that page.


It's not just you...

[going for the extremely obvious - in this thread - joke] Then shouldn't they be called Hoo-Hoo Stank? [/gfteo-itt-j]


Join the club. I'm considering putting a picture of it on my fridge. Yeah, I've got it bad.


Don't look at it as a granola bar coated with chocolate - look at it as a candy bar with healthy granola in it. A somewhat healthy candy bar, if you will. Reaching? Nah - it's called positive spin. I learned it from my govenment.

The links won't work like that. You need to copy the command from that site, and paste it in the box at the regular site, then the chicken will do what you tell it to.

The reason no one remembers Polly Pocket is because she quickly submersed herself deep into the hidden recesses of the couch and seat cushions. If you'll go exploring, you're liable to unearth Polly and some of her teeny-tiny accessories.

I was wondering that myself.

Ha, same here. Though thinglet's idea of how you make "monkey yogurt" is...disturbing, to say the least: "You need a monkey, some water, and some carrots. You put the monkey in the water, stir it around. Put the carrots in, and stir it some more. Then you drink the water, because it's monkey yogurt!"
Mr. thinga: "So...it's basically monkey bathwater?"


The Subservient Chicken has scarred me deeply.

I remember Polly Pocket from when I was in Kindergarten (I never played with them. Shut up! I didn't!), and that was back in '91, so I'm thinking they've been around for 20 years or so if other people older than me remember them.

For those of you who wonder what the band Hoobastank actually looks like, here's their website -- that's right, they're not an all-girl pop-band! You may have to wait a bit before the pictures of the band appear in the banner at the top. And here's more details on the essay-contest from MasterCard.

Oh, that is just sick!

Um, "kill, kill, osama, saddam, depression" doesn't work when I cut and paste it!

Let's see...I think I was in the 4th grade (please tell me that wasn't too old to be playing with these things!) when I ditched Barbie's for my miniature Pocket world, so I think it was around '91 or '92, like TheCustomofLife says.

The times they are a'changin' - kids have BIGGER pockets now! How else can they cram a 12 inch Polly Pocket, a Gogurt, and a tube of peanut butter in there?

Oh wow...they have clothes now?! See, we didn't have the luxury of interchangable clothes, just painted on generic clothes. Sometimes they'd have a painted-on hat, and that was the shit!

Oh, the wardrobe choices are truly staggering. My daughter has three sets of Polly Pocket things... a swimming pool set with pool toys, chaises, an array of bathing suits, shorts outfits, coverups, sunglasses, shoes about the size of BBs... and then there's the dance set with the barre and a little (nonworking) portable stereo to "play" the music for dancing Polly, plus about twenty dancewear ensembles (including leg warmers and a flamenco-looking skirt and a boa!)... and then the townhouse set that also has about twenty outfits. Each set comes with coordinating clothes, about forty pieces each, plus accessories. It's dizzying, really, how much STUFF comes with these little sets.

They're tremendously cute, even for those of us who got tired of Barbie quickly. I mean, I'm over thirty and I kind of dig playing Polly Pocket with my daughter. The only problem is that the clothes are so tiny, and they're made out of this peculiar rubbery plastic, so they're really hard to put on. But they're adorable. And they're inexpensive. So my daughter has the three sets, about six dolls, even a Pocket Pet (a wee, too-cute-for-words dog), and so many coordinating clothes that Polly could easily go three months without wearing the same thing twice. If, you know, she were a real human.

I much prefer Polly Pocket to Barbie. For my daughter, I mean.

Oh, sure. For your daughter. Of course. This? is mind-boggling. I couldn't even keep track of Barbie's shoes.

A three-inch Polly Pocket is wrong and bizarre. Is she going to keep growing? Will she one day be big enough to crush Tokyo?

Where's my rocking chair? Where's my get off the lawn sign? where are my teeth...

I have no idea what Polly Pocket is, nor do I care. The only important question about this thing, for which I've never seen a commercial, is: are parts of her hemi-powered and/or glittery?

And now I return to my lonely corner of the porch to ponder gnomes and sock thieves.

I've asked this for years now:

Is there a Bigger sell-out than LL Cool J?

If there was a paid spokesman hall of fame, he would be a first ballot inductee.

Well, I don't know about crushing Tokyo. But, now she and the poor, sad, and shrunken present day incarnation of GI Joe are about the same height....

I have to say that though there are abundant Polly Pockets here, I have never thought to look at her hoo-hoo. The rest of her seems blessedly unpowered and unglittery. Also, she doesn't sing, "We like da moon!" Which it seems to me would be worse than Chuckie x 10.



<old timer> Do you, like the rest of us crones and fogies, salivate when you see faucet and home appliance ads on TV? </old timer (I had an onion on my belt, because it was the style at the time. Of course, you couldn't get white onions, because of the war. You could only get the big yellow ones.)>

Puckish, I'm right there with you... I see commercials for washing machines, and I want them (especially front loaders). I see refridgerator ads, and I get bottom freezer envy.

But the worst? Is the stuff I see when watching cooking shows and This Old House on PBS. I want all the tools and every darn appliance and gadget they use on those shows.





Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where was I...

Just wanted to jump on the Polly Pocket train! I loved me some polly! I had an orange one that was a mall setting, then I had one that I jacked from my neighbor, but I forgot what was in it. I think their feet turned into stamps or something.

I love the little sock guy in the sprint ad. His belly jiggle/booty dance is hilarious!

Tis' doubtful cronox5, tis doubtful. But as long as he keeps showing off those arms and abs I can .....overlook his out-selling tendencies, right?

Although a rather crass friend of my brother made a distasteful point about how people died after doing Dr. Pepper commercials (Jam Master J, Celia Cruz), and so LL jumped on the Gatorade train just to be sure.



Okay, I have always had more than a passing affinity for faucets and home appliances. Seriously. Decor and appliances have been my porn for as long as I can remember. When my family was remodelling, I was always asked to weigh in, and my choice was always the one we went with. I mean, chose almost everything in the kitchen (the drawer handles, the layout, the cupboards, tiles) when I was only 16. (which in turn always leads to disputes over actual ownership of said kitchen - mother wins out simply because it's her house and well, she carried me for 10 1/2 months before I came out of her.) Does that mean that I'm an old soul in a not so old body?

Hey, as long as he's not hawking Tampax Pearl or Summer's Eve, shirtless LL Cool J can be on my TV any time he wants (Mamma said knock you out, indeed!)

I dunno, but he is definitely Lip-Licker Extraordinaire.

It was you wasn't it,vegasusa555?