I completely agree that that is the sign: when real estate and home decor began to replace porn-that was when I knew I'd grown up! ;)

Oh my. I'm trying to imagine that but my stomach won't let me.

My stomach has been protesting ever since. So Velveeta products are out of our house, permanently, at my request. I can't look at Cheese Whiz without gagging. Raw Velveeta tastes like what I imagine melted plastic to taste.

My favorite part of the Chappelle's Show commercial is, of course, the part where Charlie Murphy knocks Rick James across the room and into the mirror.

Isn't raw Velveeta like government cheese? 'Cause most of the leftovers of that stuff got put into the Meals Ready to Eat that the military has, and dude...oh, my stomach is rebelling at the thought. No gub'ment cheese!
The commercial for Adult Attention Deficit Disorder is the most recent one to boggle my mind. Must be the whole generation of people who were diagnosed with ADD as children have grown up enough that they had to make up a new classification (not that I don't believe some people genuinely have ADD, but Jesus H. Christ, not every third person).

A few years ago my cousin and I decided to go out cruising one night. We ended up driving around looking at houses. When we got back, my dad asked if we'd met any boys. Boys? Oh yeah, that's what cruising used to be about, huh?

I just saw a new ad for Yahoo's job search engine (I guess) featuring Brownout Davis and some little girl in split screen. I hate that man.

How about the ad for flea medicine with the little boy yelling at his mother "What's wrong with Buddy!?!?!" at the top of his lungs, followed by an extreme close-up of the dog in which we see several fleas stabbing their fangs into the whimpering dog's skin?

Hey, I liked the gub'ment cheese my family got. And their honey.

And don't forget the peanut butter!

The gub'ment rice isn't too bad, either. My grandmother runs a soup kitchen and they gave her ten pounds of rice to use. She made Spanish rice, rice with meatballs, rice pudding...woulda made sake if she knew how. And she still had about two pounds of it left, when she was done.

Raw Velveeta is still on a par with eating melted plastic.

These dancing flowers I assume.

On topic, I'm sick of all the shaking milk commercials. Dude, just shake your own fricking bottle instead of tricking other people into doing it for you.

Government cheese is 1000 times better than raw Velveeta. Velveeta puts the quotation marks in "cheese food". That said, it does make a passable chile con queso when melted with a can of Rotel.

While I'm sure these commercials have been discussed before, they haven't been in April (I checked!).

I hate the Talbot's ads. WHAT is up with the girl refusing to kiss the guy? And why is he putting up with her shit? And WHAT does that have to do with Talbot's? Shop here and become a stuck-up bitch? Need a new stick up your ass? We sell them!

Hate.

Heeeee, yes, Vermicious Knid! Mine had purple sunglasses. And hey, to a kid like me with an overactive imagination and sadistic Barbies, they were fun for WAY longer than 2.3 seconds.

I hate those shaking milk commercials too. How lazy are people? Sheesh. I'm never going to buy chocolate milk again, just to spite them.

Mine was more of a singing, dancing sunflower.

Topic? I love the puppy Advantix commercial- that just gives me the giggles (yes the giggles!).

Can someone help me, because I think I'm actually going to lose my mind if I don't find out what this commercial was about. I saw it a week or two ago, but was on the phone at the time and had the volume off. There was a guy standing outside, carrying an infant in one of those snugglie things. The kid starts fussing, and kicks the guy in the crotch. He falls to his knees, clutching said crotch and moaning in pain; when he hangs his head down, the kids bops up and hammers him one in the nose, pretty much knocking him senseless.

For the life of me, I can't remember if they ever showed a product, or what it could be (except, maybe, extra-strength Excedrine -- you know, for those ball-busting headaches).

Help??

Neko, that would be for Dairy Queen's "CheeseQuake" blizzards, oddly enough. I know this one well because it's the bane of my diet, lol.

HEE! I've only read through the last two pages of this thread, so forgive me if I repeat something.

The commercials for Valtrex: People parasailing! People white water rafting! People climbing Mt. Everest! People with genital warts!

LOL! Not that genital warts isn't a serious disease and etc etc.....but damn! I want to have as much fun as People With Genital Warts do! I never get to do any of those things!

In the same vein, the new Viagra drug, I forget what it's called. The guy is trying desperately to throw a football through a tire swing in his backyard, he just can't seem to do it...... until.......enter the New Improved Wonder Erection Drug!! The guy not only throws the ball through the tire, but his decidedly Mrs. Cleaver-ish wife catches it! Oh the symbolism! Bring on the Clios! ;)

Lastly, people were talking about Coors earlier in the thread. My uncle was a head honcho for Coors for 30 years, so, I'm a wee bit biased, but I LOVE their Wingman commercial. Two guys in the bar, the one guy takes the "not-so-hot" friend, so that his buddy can cruise the Hot Chick........while the song overlays it all: " Oh Wingman! Willing to take a hit for your friend.....etc " Something like that anyway. That cracks me up every time!

Words escape me.

Is it possible because of all the fun (bad, naughty!) things these people do, they have the genital warts?


eta: all the bad, naughty! things the drug maker can't show on television!

You can get genital warts from white water rafting? It's just as well that I don't do these things then. ;) I do hope you percieved my snark and don't think I would actually like to have an STD.

I'm SOOO SOO SOOOOOO glad that the honchos of the PR department at Quiznos have stopped showing those freaky dead-hamster-on-crack commercials. That creeped me out to no end.

<obligatory "Weird Al" reference> You just need to combine it with Twinkies and Weiners. </obligatory "Weird Al" reference.>



Hee!

Eeeeeeew, Poodle Hat, I'm not going to be able to eat for a week thanks to THAT mental image.

Because if they showed the naughty bad fun, they'd have to list its side effects.

New roaming gnome ad! And it's better than the last couple. The gnome is regarding various works of art at museums and commenting on them--looking at the Venus de Milo and saying "When she said she'd write, I should've known..." Heh. Art humor.

Government peanut butter was the best. Yum Yum. As for Velveeta, I prefer the shredded. Very easy to use because you cannot grate Velveeta unless you freeze it.

Topic? The K9 Advantix camp puppy commerical is the commerical I was talking about when I brought up the Downy song.

My dad used to use it for fish bait. Even so, I still like it melted with Rotel (yum!)

On topic....errr.....it's all TWoP's fault that I'll now back up the TiVO if I spot a commercial I've read about on here. So sad, so sad....

Yeah, and they (along with the people with Herpes) always seem to be coupled off, so apparently a venereal disease drastically improves your love life.

Anyone else notice all of the pain reliever commercials nowadays basically go, "Ugh! I just don't have time for pain! My body's method of telling me that something is wrong is just so inconvenient! I have things to do! I can't let any sort of discomfort get in the way!"?

It still is, jazmyne, it still is.

I was watching Sunday morning cartoons, and the Gatorade commercials that I was squicked out by, well, they are back. The one where they're sweating Gatorade? Blue sweat! Yellow-orange sweat! Mmmm.Yummy! I'm going to run out and buy some.

I've got some bad news fer ya...now they're flying freaky dead hamsters on crack. Check out the new ad here.

Retro-mercial time! Anyone else have fond memories of the animated Wienerschnitzel commercial from the early '70s with the dancing, singing hot dogs? Back then they were called Der Wienerschnitzel, and the song went something like this:

Yum, yum!
Der Wienerschnitzel
Come
To Der Wienerschnitzel
We've got the happiest hot dogs around
You'll get a treat (Treat!)
At Der Wienerschnitzel
Eat (Eat!)
At Der Wienerschnitzel
...
(...my memory gets hazy here for a few lines...)
...
Bring
Your Dad and Mummy
You'll be so happy when you come, yum, yum!
Der fixin's are der-lightful
Der's fun in every bite
So happy at Der Wienerschnitzel
Yum, yum! (Hot Dog!)

The new ad for Tampons with the Survivor chicks is so annoying! Why do these companies think that women completely lose thier minds if we can't find name brand tampons? I don't know about ya'll, but if I was on my period and couldn't find name brand tampons, I would use "Big Momma's Coochie Plugs" if that was all I had around me, and had nothing else!

*apologies if I made anyone nauseated........just needed to get that off of my chest!

I've just thought of something: if all of us people here on the Commercial Thread watch Saturday morning programming, we'd have ALOT to snark about.

Seriously...whenever I can catch a show like "Mucha Lucha", I'm subjected to the dumbest ass ads for either:

- Toys that are pointless (ie, they've dug up our buddies the Crash Test Dummies and they are now action figures...good example, ad execs. After I get into an accident, it shouldn't be too hard to pop my limbs back on!)
- Or, disgusting foods (Gogurt, anyone?)

Heh. Gogurt. Such an appetizing name.

There was some fuss over the Crash Test Dummy toys when they first came out - because they had become products, the PSAs featuring them counted as commercials instead of PSAs.

Speaking of Saturday morning cartoons, anyone remember the Polly Pocket commercials? Snark-o-riffic. And I'm not just talking about the girls acting in them, or the humungo zoom-ins of the pocket figurines. I swear they had a jingle that ripped off "Rockin' Robin," where they were all "Polly Pocket! Dee dee dee! Polly Pocket! Dee dee dee!"

I freakin' loved Polly Pocket when I was younger (shut up!)...they replaced Barbies for me for quite awhile. I think it was the prospect of being some giant in a teeny tiny world that did it for me, lol.

Something else that bugged me: Danimals. It's a yogurt drink. Where the hell does the "animal" part come in? Sure, it features an animal on the package, but that's just lame...

I think Dannon had a Danimals yogurt line, where kids could sprinkle animal crackers or something like that on their yogurt to make it more FUN! and KID-FRIENDLY! Eh. It's just crackers.

Speaking of Weird Al, did you hear his parents died of carbon monoxide poisoining? My mom got it wrong and said weird al died. I was like "not weird al!" lol, but then I found out that it was his parents. <end rant>
Back to commericials, I dont know if this is in just Chicago, but the Mike Dika commericial for a Viagra like drug is creeeepy.

The commercial for Comedy Central's "100 Greatest standups of all time" is irking me, for the very petty reason I don't like seeing Judy Gold munching on corned beef. There's something about seeing her eat that squicks me out. There's something that chills me down to the bone, something primal about her, anyways, that creeps me out.
There's a tagline at the end of it, "And eat delicious corned beef!" (Or some other potted beef product. There's a slightly different version of the same commercial).

Yes. I'm very sad for him. What a tragedy. He went on and did a concert the next night (4/10) and dedicated it to their memory. What a brave guy.

I'll return you to your regularly scheduled snark now.

Oooh! I saw the belly jiggling sock thief! Sprint and Snickers, the twin gods of consistently amusing ads.

Still waiting for someone else to notice the new Roaming Gnome...

I know! I thought it was going to be a mouthwash ad or something. I love how she waits until he's just about to tell her to fuck off and stomp on out of there before she finally deigns to kiss him.

Crash Dummies toys ROCKED. I'm glad theyre bringing them back.

Anyway, here's a followup:

Apparently, everyone was sick of The Girl Next Door commercials. It debuted in 10th place with $6 mil. $17 mil of guilt money went back into The Passion, giving it 1st place again.

Out of my head right now, DoctorNeon!

I keep meaning to post about those Gatorade commericials. I always knew that stuff was icky, but didn't realize it was made from the technicolor sweat of actual athletes.

No wonder it tastes like that!

I've noticed that the Mastercard ad that used to say "make a video for Hoobastank" now says "make a video for the band Hoobastank." Heh. I guess too many people were thinking "who-bastank"?

Hoobastank has the worst. band. name. ever.

You guys are better than any commercial! I went out of my way last night to a 24-hour CVS after work (yes, I work Saturday nights), so I can get that Veet razorless shaving kit in time for Easter. I tried it this morning, and, well, let's say depilatories never liked me, and they still don't (even though they smell better these days).

I still think it's funny that Hoobastank is now an all-female pop group.

How sad is it that my husband's nephew was over my house the other day, and I asked him if he wanted some yogurt, and when he saw the regular containers, he said now. He wanted that gogurt crap.

Anyways, someone mentioned the Snickers ad that had the young guy macking on the old woman, cause he was hungry. (And you don't think right when you're hungry. *Sigh*) In the version I saw, the young guy macks on this rather butch-looking female police officer on a horse. When the police offier gives him the Stare of Disgust, he turns to the horse.

I don't even have the words for that ad. I thought him flirting with the horse just killed the joke.

Wow....just.....no! I saw a commercial for Tropicana orange juice where the box started to strip in front of the family that was eating breakfast! Someone please tell me that they have seen this so I can tell that i'm not going crazy!

In my misspent life, I have known five women who bought their clothes exclusively at Talbot's and I just have to say it. "Stuck-up bitches with sticks up their asses" actually is Talbot's target audience.