FfrauleinN
Apr 9, 2004 @ 1:27 pm
Because we were some little hellions back in the day, I present....the remix!
Hee. Dude, the "remix" was the first version I ever heard.
wdejesus79
Apr 9, 2004 @ 1:37 pm
Guy outside grilling. Female voice comes from inside the house: Are the tofu dogs done yet? Closeup of the grill with nasty-looking grey hot dogs with grill marks on them. Guy uses grill fork to stab one, and samples it. Other Guy at his side asks Are they done?, and Grill Guy, with disgusted look on his face, answers: Man, I hope not.
Thought it was for a beer, but turns out to be for Diet Dr Pepper!
I saw this ad, too. Those "hot dogs" made me want to throw up. They looked like ash. (not ass, but ash) EWW.
The other day I saw a new ad for a shoe store that freaked me out. In it there's a kid playing on a kitchen floor when a roach runs by. He freaks out and starts screaming "BUG!" So his mom runs over and slips off her shoe, starts to slam it down, then pauses, looks at the shoe, and steps on the bug in her bare foot. All I could think was how sick that was.
There are no words. Okay, there are. How disgusting!
sugarfreekelli
Apr 9, 2004 @ 1:38 pm
I just saw another Girl Next Door commercial, with the people being interviewed leaving the theater. One of them says "The ads don't do it justice." In other words, they're so desperate that they're trashing their own campaign.
I'm so glad someone mentioned this. I love the way the people in the ad laugh after every comment the "random" reviewer makes, as if they're all too aware of how much the movie actually sucks.
PlayItGeorge
Apr 9, 2004 @ 1:52 pm
I also think the Girl Next Door looks horrible. Go spend your money on Eternal Sunshine, everybody!
And non-meat hot dogs are, sadly, disgusting. I wish there were a good veggie alternative to hot dogs. Oh well.
europa1057
Apr 9, 2004 @ 1:53 pm
Yay! I saw a new California Flex Your Power commercial! Unfortunately I was laughing so hard I didn't catch any of the voice over.
It's a sea lion in an appliance store, barking at an employee. The employee just stares and responds with confused "um, okay" and "well" and "ahhh". The sea lion cracked my shit up. I think the ending voiceover was something like "All California residents are interested in saving energy (or energy saving appliances, or something)" I don't know, I was laughing too hard.
Aunt Shelley
Apr 9, 2004 @ 2:35 pm
I know this commercial has been discussed earlier, but I just need to ask- who are the voices of the Brawny paper towel guys? I heard one was Burt Reynolds, but the other? And yes, I did read back 20 pages for an answer. Thanks.
TraceyBee
Apr 9, 2004 @ 2:42 pm
The other day I saw a new ad for a shoe store that freaked me out. In it there's a kid playing on a kitchen floor when a roach runs by. He freaks out and starts screaming "BUG!" So his mom runs over and slips off her shoe, starts to slam it down, then pauses, looks at the shoe, and steps on the bug in her bare foot.
Ew! I think that qualifies to be put in the "scarred for life" thread.
rincie
Apr 9, 2004 @ 2:50 pm
A word on the veggie alternative to hot dogs: Morningstar Farms makes pretty decent veggie dogs. They're the only brand I've found so far that's decent.
Finally saw the new spongemonkey ad. The voice sounds different.
vegasusa555
Apr 9, 2004 @ 2:57 pm
I just saw and ad for Nair razorless shaver( please don't ask because I don't know how to explain it), and it has a guy and a girl in an apartment. As the commercial goes on, he starts putting the Nair cream on her legs. This normally wouldn't be freaky, but when he does this, she has on a blindfold and is on the ground moaning! Is it just me, or was there a freaky porno vibe to that whole ad? EEEWWW!
amybeth5251
Apr 9, 2004 @ 3:07 pm
I just saw and ad for Nair razorless shaver( please don't ask because I don't know how to explain it), and it has a guy and a girl in an apartment. As the commercial goes on, he starts putting the Nair cream on her legs. This normally wouldn't be freaky, but when he does this, she has on a blindfold and is on the ground moaning! Is it just me, or was there a freaky porno vibe to that whole ad? EEEWWW!
I actually have some of that stuff and it kinda burns as it's on you...so the orgasmic moaning is really really freaky.
FYE--the razorless shaver is razor shaped, but has no blade on it. After the solution sits on your legs for around 3 minutes (the entire time you feel like the weirdo from the Listerine ads thinking, almost done, almost done, almost done) you kinda squeegie the solution and hair off--it gets it off much better than just a washcloth.
Mangetical Anji
Apr 9, 2004 @ 3:25 pm
Looking down at my poor Nair-irritated (but smooth) legs, I'm thinking I might have to get me some of that razorless shaver. My 99-cent washcloth just isn't doing it for me.
I just saw the weirdest commercial during Spongebob Squarepants. It was for something called a Microdancer, and it looks like one of those ghetto Barbies (Flavas? I dunno) in miniature, and apparently they dance or something. It showed the two girls clapping their hands, and I guess they make the little thingies dance. The only thing that reminded me of was this plastic sunflower I had that was sound-activated. My imagination makes odd leaps.
ChinkyGirl
Apr 9, 2004 @ 4:32 pm
And also? It’s the sequel to The Whole Nine Yards. And Amanda Peet looks about 63 years old in it. Can somebody explain that please? Is she in recovery for something?
Yes. She's still recovering from having to hump that dried-up pervert Jack Nicholson in "Something's Gotta Give"...or is it "As Good as it Gets"? "Something's Gotta Get Good"? "As Good as Something's Gotta Get"? I have a headache...
I also think the Girl Next Door looks horrible. Go spend your money on Eternal Sunshine, everybody!
WORD and a half! :)
The next thing to capitalize on the low-carb fad: Cadbury freakin' Creme Eggs! Noooo! They also have a no sugar version, but that's understandable.
jennifuh
Apr 9, 2004 @ 4:48 pm
Looking down at my poor Nair-irritated (but smooth) legs, I'm thinking I might have to get me some of that razorless shaver. My 99-cent washcloth just isn't doing it for me.
Yeah, no doubt. That stuff never washes out of your washcloth, no matter how hard you try.
Amanda Peet is all kinds of nasty. I don't get it. I don't want it.
Jumpin
Apr 9, 2004 @ 5:43 pm
Isn't the tune that camp song's based on from "Dance of the Hours"?
*hopes someone didn't already mention that*
Lingo
Apr 9, 2004 @ 6:17 pm
This is from way back:
So, all Lucy has to do was buy something or other from Hallmark and Schroeder can be hers? Does she really think that'll work - excusing her generally nasty attitude and the horrible way she treats people?
What I find really funny about this Hallmark commercial series is that it seems to be subtly making fun of their customers' unrealistic expectations for their products. Shroeder falling for Lucy because of her Snoopy gift? Right. The generation gap between grandma and loud-rap-music-playing granddaughter bridged by a little singing doll? Sure. Your friends loving you because you have a greeting card for every occasion? Uh-huh. A tense social gathering with in-laws dissolving into peals of laughter because of a cheap snowman-and-snowwoman-with-nodding-heads toy? Pull the other one.
I mean, we all here make fun of the unrealistic promises commercials make to us, but when each of these commercials ends with the Hallmark customer waking from her daydream and leaving with a goofy grin, Hallmark seems to be saying, "Yeah, we know these are stupid daydreams. Please buy our shit anyway."
mariposa
Apr 9, 2004 @ 6:37 pm
I'm getting a banner on top of one of the TWoP forum pages for the Biography channel. And it has John Revolta morphing into an alien. Well, not really morphing, but a picture of an alien comes after a picture of Revolta. I so want to marry whoever designed that ad.
Yes, I know it's not an ad on TV, but it's an ad about a TV channel on a TV-related Web site
glstx
Apr 9, 2004 @ 8:13 pm
The new "That song is in every commerical!" song seems to be I'm Coming Out. It's starting to grate.
This may be a stupid question, but all I've ever heard of that song is the chorus. What is it about? About a young girl coming out into the world? Coming out of the closet? Exposing a secret?
mbridgii
Apr 9, 2004 @ 8:41 pm
I heard the song was inspired by the number of drag queens who pay homage to Miss Ross in their act.
You miss Downy
That'll do it.
April freshness,
Rinses through it.
Downy softness, that's another
Downy freshness makes a difference
Love, your Mother.
How sad is this?
TheCustomOfLife
Apr 9, 2004 @ 8:44 pm
The new "That song is in every commerical!" song seems to be I'm Coming Out. It's starting to grate.
I really hope this resurgence doesn't bring back the belly-button commercials.
Tanathir
Apr 9, 2004 @ 9:03 pm
Dude, those belly button commercials were just too freaky to contemplate. First, I don't want to see your stupid belly button, honey. If I want to see a belly button, I'll look in the mirror. If I want to hear some high-pitched rendition of a lame song, I'm capable of buying a CD. Ugh. Now I can't stop remembering those damn commercials.
mariposa
Apr 9, 2004 @ 9:42 pm
Stop reminding me of those ads! Adding to the ick factor, the belly buttons were voiced by Jamie-Lynn Whateverherlastnameisthisweek*.
(*While I won't do it myself, I have no problem with women changing their last names when they marry. Unless they're already famous - then it's just confusing and stupid. The DiScala guy she married is her manager, and the fact that he didn't discourage it - or possibly encouraged it - suggests a lot about his jerkitude.)
ChinkyGirl
Apr 9, 2004 @ 9:46 pm
He actually did discourage her from changing her last name, but she was the one who wanted to do it! She claims that she's an "old fashioned gal" - yeah, one who doesn't mind acting like a complete whore (literally) for the Heidi Fleiss Story, lol.
Eegah
Apr 9, 2004 @ 10:11 pm
Anyone seen the one with the husband and wife who race home for dibs on their incredible shower? As the man runs and the woman drives, both shed their clothes, but in the end the man gets there first and locks the door, so what was the point of taking the clothes off in the first place? Then I was so distracted by how awesome the shower was I completely blanked on what it was selling.
ubi
Apr 9, 2004 @ 10:25 pm
I really hope this resurgence doesn't bring back the belly-button commercials.
Ughh, which one?
Isaboe
Apr 9, 2004 @ 10:45 pm
Someone from ABC must read this thread. So far tonight I've seen the sock snatcher, the Lamisil troll and the singing bunnies!
LinaBo
Apr 9, 2004 @ 10:48 pm
Awww.... I just saw the CUTEST commercial for 'K9 Advantix'. It's of this little yellow labrador puppy with a blue bandana around his neck, singing in a kid's (boy's) voice, to the tune of 'Hello Mother, Hello Father'... but with different lyrics, thanking them for sending the flea meds so he can have fun at camp.
Yes: doggy camp. Makes no sense, but I don't care. It's too cute.
puckish
Apr 9, 2004 @ 11:02 pm
Anyone seen the one with the husband and wife who race home for dibs on their incredible shower? As the man runs and the woman drives, both shed their clothes, but in the end the man gets there first and locks the door, so what was the point of taking the clothes off in the first place? Then I was so distracted by how awesome the shower was I completely blanked on what it was selling.
I love this ad. People falling down is always funny, and when the wife does the face plant, it makes me laugh every damn time.
If I recall correctly (and I may not - I, too, am blinded by the glory that is that shower), I think the ad is for Kohler, or some faucet company, the manufacturers of that awesome shower.
Miki The Brain
Apr 9, 2004 @ 11:16 pm
It is for Kohler.
And that bathroom is my porn. All those nozzles and.... I get flushed just thinking about it...
katymo
Apr 9, 2004 @ 11:59 pm
I love the K9 Advantix commercial! I'm a dog person and it manipulates me to no end for going AWWW! I laugh when he runs all over the tent. But I still won't buy that shit. So there!
healing fish
Apr 10, 2004 @ 12:18 am
That commercial bugs me because I think that puppy is too young for that voice. He should have a younger kid's voice.
Rabrab
Apr 10, 2004 @ 1:23 am
Yep, jumpin', Hello Mudda is based on the Dance (Waltz?) of the Hours. Ostriches and hippos and crocs, oh my! It's a difficult piece of music to take seriously anymore.
Not a current set of commercials, but I used to enjoy the V-8 ones that had no words, just that bouncy happy music. Of course it took me months to figure out what they were for, because I'd hear the music, and by the time I got to the TV in the other room, the ad was over.
Tabbyclaw
Apr 10, 2004 @ 2:46 am
The puppy commercial is adorable, but I'd love it so much more if they didn't actually have the puppy lip-syncing. It kills the wonder.
Rabrab, do you mean the "Dum da-da dum" V-8 commercials? I love those!
Rabrab
Apr 10, 2004 @ 3:53 am
Yeah, them. Once I found out what the music went to, it could make want a V-8 as soon as I heard it. Effective ads, when you don't have to see it for it to work. In fact just now, when I read your "Dum-da-da-dum" I got thirsty. Love that music.
formergr
Apr 10, 2004 @ 9:19 am
Oh I just saw the cutest commercial on Animal Planet! It may be another Advantix one, not sure, just some sort of flea control product. It's a show-down at high noon type scenario with cats and dogs dressed in western gear. At the end, after defeating the flea, the cat sherriff rides off into the sunset on the back of the dog, and a little chihuaha-type dog pops his head out from behind the wooden trough, where he'd hidden when the flea came out. It's hard to describe, but animals dressed in Western gear just never fails to amuse me!
Eegah
Apr 10, 2004 @ 9:30 am
I love the part in the Advantix comercial when that other puppy doesn't quite stop in time and rolls off the bridge. It's such a pure puppy moment, how did they ever get it on film?
TheCustomOfLife
Apr 10, 2004 @ 9:39 am
Adding to the ick factor, the belly buttons were voiced by Jamie-Lynn Whateverherlastnameisthisweek*.
Meadow, you're dead to me.
FfrauleinN
Apr 10, 2004 @ 10:56 am
The puppy commercial is adorable, but I'd love it so much more if they didn't actually have the puppy lip-syncing. It kills the wonder.
Word.
FYE--the razorless shaver is razor shaped, but has no blade on it.
You know, if Nair didn't burn like a mofo, I'd be tempted to buy that squeegee thing.
The only thing that reminded me of was this plastic sunflower I had that was sound-activated. My imagination makes odd leaps.
Was the flower wearing sunglasses, by any chance? Apparently my imagination makes odd, detailed leaps.
Anyone seen the one with the husband and wife who race home for dibs on their incredible shower? As the man runs and the woman drives, both shed their clothes, but in the end the man gets there first and locks the door, so what was the point of taking the clothes off in the first place? Then I was so distracted by how awesome the shower was I completely blanked on what it was selling.
Yes! I love that ad! I never see it anymore; they used to run it constantly during Discovery in the Daytime. I like how the woman goes, "My
turn, ya big --" Actually all the Kohler commercials are pretty cool. I even like the one where the blind guy tells his date, "You should see the bathroom." Those are some very cool fixtures.
Sideshow Al
Apr 10, 2004 @ 11:27 am
Okay, I've seen this Velveeta commercial at least twice an hour and I haaaaate it. It's this latin-rock version of the Hokey-Pokey where they basically tell you "Real cheese is bad because it gets clumpy when you microwave it. Use our fake cheese full of plastic and wax, because when you nuke the *$%! out of it, it becomes nice and smooth." Um, yeah, that might convince me to buy your crappy product if the microwave was the only appliance I knew how to use and I thought Nacho Cheez Salsa Dip was haute cuisine. Yuck!
For me, the worst part of this commercial is that it seems like it's going to end after they've done two verses of the cheesy Hokey Pokey; but no! That's when they launch into:
Forgehhhhhhht the cheddar!
Velveeeeeeeta's better!It's all worsened by the singer's smarmy, borderline-offensive, fake Spanish accent. Blecch. Yep, that commercial really grates. (Get it? Cheese? "Grates?" Ha! And speaking of the Hokey Pokey, what if that really
were what it's all about? Am I right; am I right? . . . Hey, these are the jokes, folks. Is this thing on? [/microphone feedback; crickets chirping])
BTW, I really love that K9 Advantix commercial (frolicking puppies wearing bandanas = advertising gold); but heck, they really didn't even have to have the puppy lip synch at all since most of the commercial is footage of the puppy frolicking rather than footage of the puppy singing to the camera.
jazmyne
Apr 10, 2004 @ 1:23 pm
The fact that I'm seduced by faucet commercials is, IMO, 100% proof that I'm a grown-up. This is how I used to feel about toy commercials when I was a kid.
wdejesus79
Apr 10, 2004 @ 2:40 pm
Just saw this new (I always hesitate using the word new, cause you people always see things before me) Coors Light commercial. This guy at the beach asks Pete (I guess someone way up in the Coors business chain) what Rocky Mountain cold means. Valid question. Pete explains that some beers are heated up to 100 degrees before they're shipped, but that Coors Light is brewed cold, packaged cold and shipped cold. So that you can always enjoy blah, blah, blah.
Anyway, the guy on the beach then asks, "Is it cold in the Rocky Mountains?" Pete just gives him a Look. Does drinking Coors make you stupid?
mlooney
Apr 10, 2004 @ 2:52 pm
Does drinking Coors make you stupid?
Well, in general, yes. However not any more than any other beer does.
Pete explains that some beers are heated up to 100 degrees before they're shipped, but that Coors Light is brewed cold, packaged cold and shipped cold. So that you can always enjoy blah, blah, blah.
Not quite true. All beer, Coors included, is boiled for roughly an hour at the start of the brewing. Coors' big claim to fame is that they were the first big brewery that has always shipped cold. This was the reason why they were a western only beer for years, the theory being that it cost too much to use the refer trucks to ship to the east coast.
They also used to use a lot more hops than they use now.
Topic? The current vote in the Looney Bin is that the VS/Bob Dylan ad is the "WTF is that about" winner still, but only if taken as a one off. The Burger King "Office Spacy" series is the current winner of the "WTF is that about" ad campaign.
In other news, the K9 Advantix puppy is the current winner in the "cute small animal" award, beating out the Badger of the Master Card series.
healing fish
Apr 10, 2004 @ 2:57 pm
Aw, no way. Badger is still the cutest.
wdejesus79
Apr 10, 2004 @ 3:06 pm
Not quite true. All beer, Coors included, is boiled for roughly an hour at the start of the brewing. Coors' big claim to fame is that they were the first big brewery that has always shipped cold. This was the reason why they were a western only beer for years, the theory being that it cost too much to use the refer trucks to ship to the east coast.
Oh, so even
working for Coors makes you stupid. That's about right.
They also have another commercial, using Take me out to the Ballgame, and changing the words around. It's not even clever. I would write out the lyrics here, but my IQ would go down by 10 points just by listening to that commercial again. (Damn you, YES network! Stop with the Coors commercial.)
I also want to say I saw this new Corona commercial where four people are playing spin the bottle. But instead of kissing each other, whomever the bottle lands on gets to choose who goes next on the beer run. I think it's pretty good. But then I'm a Corona drinker, and think all their commercials are good.
sunnish
Apr 10, 2004 @ 3:46 pm
FYE--the razorless shaver is razor shaped, but has no blade on it.
You know, if Nair didn't burn like a mofo, I'd be tempted to buy that squeegee thing.
Actually the razorless razor is by Veet... But I'm not sure if there is a difference in terms of the burning or the smell or whatnot.
Has anyone seen the Altovis ads? They are for a new fatigue drug. At first it looks like a regular prescription drug ad, but then you see that it is more along the lines of a supplement. The ad really bugs me for the music. It's like subtly psychotic circus music in the background. Paired with the odd, jumpy images of people (being fatigued, I guess) it's disconcerting.
amybeth5251
Apr 10, 2004 @ 3:56 pm
Actually the razorless razor is by Veet... But I'm not sure if there is a difference in terms of the burning or the smell or whatnot.
Actually there is one from both Nair and Veet--the Veet burns less.
Mangetical Anji
Apr 10, 2004 @ 5:05 pm
For me, the worst part of this commercial is that it seems like it's going to end after they've done two verses of the cheesy Hokey Pokey; but no! That's when they launch into:
Forgehhhhhhht the cheddar!
Velveeeeeeeta's better!
It's all worsened by the singer's smarmy, borderline-offensive, fake Spanish accent. Blecch. Yep, that commercial really grates. (Get it? Cheese? "Grates?" Ha! And speaking of the Hokey Pokey, what if that really were what it's all about? Am I right; am I right? . . . Hey, these are the jokes, folks. Is this thing on? [/microphone feedback; crickets chirping])
Word. I once made the mistake of eating Velveeta raw. It was wrapped in cling wrap in our fridge, and I thought it was cheddar cheese. I have a habit of eating random chunks of cheese if I'm hungry, and I sliced some off. I never actually did the sitcom "spit out the nasty food immediately upon tasting" before that day.
Was the flower wearing sunglasses, by any chance? Apparently my imagination makes odd, detailed leaps.
Haha, yes,
FfrauleinN, the sunflower did in fact have sunglasses on. God, I'm glad I'm not the only person who had one of those.
Topic? I believe that I must now find some Veet and the razorless razor. I never heard of Veet before in my life until I came to this thread. Thanks, TWOP!
I have a huge, HUGE love for the Chappelle's Show commercials that incorporates different scenes from previous episodes, with Dave singing the "Different Strokes" theme. I wonder if I could download that song somewhere...I mean, buy it legally from iTunes.
FlowingSmooth
Apr 10, 2004 @ 5:45 pm
Has anyone seen the Altovis ads? They are for a new fatigue drug. At first it looks like a regular prescription drug ad, but then you see that it is more along the lines of a supplement. The ad really bugs me for the music. It's like subtly psychotic circus music in the background. Paired with the odd, jumpy images of people (being fatigued, I guess) it's disconcerting.
Wooooooord. I've been wondering for a while what that commercial is for, since I always hear the nightmarish clown music emanating from the other room.
Macn Cheese
Apr 10, 2004 @ 6:28 pm
I once made the mistake of eating Velveeta raw
See, around here that's how we like it. Seriously. I haven't seen the commercial yet though.
I have a huge, HUGE love for the Chappelle's Show commercials that incorporates different scenes from previous episodes, with Dave singing the "Different Strokes" theme.
I love that commercial, especially the part with the old people. That's so disturbing.
TheCustomOfLife
Apr 10, 2004 @ 6:35 pm
I do imitations from the Altovis commercial now. I'm really good at jittering with a cup of coffee in my hand. Just not hot, though, because, yeah.
Miki The Brain
Apr 10, 2004 @ 6:36 pm
BTW- if that Veet shaver dealie is as good as their foaming mousse depiladator, I'm trying it.
and
jazmyne, this:
The fact that I'm seduced by faucet commercials is, IMO, 100% proof that I'm a grown-up. This is how I used to feel about toy commerials when I was a kid.
totally makes sense to me. God, seriously....just think about that gorgeous shower and that awesome sink they have in Kohler's other ads (the ones with the blind guy....) and I swoon. :)
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