TheCustomOfLife
Apr 6, 2004 @ 7:58 pm
My Share Bear brings all the boys to the yard...
He could teach you, but he'd have to charge.
ladyDonna
Apr 6, 2004 @ 8:00 pm
Funny, I was taught the Hustle as a line dance. 'Course, I was also eight. ~ Tabbyclaw
Ditto. Last month, the local middle school did a "dance recital" and had The Hustle as a line dance.
And the Tiger Bomb radio commercial? We hates it, yes, we hatesss it, we does. It's like, make fun of these people's accents, hah hah! Bah.
ubi
Apr 6, 2004 @ 8:27 pm
Both, actually. For years they shilled Dolly Madison baked goods.
By gum you're right! I remember them being on the boxes, but not in any ads, other than the ones shown during the various Charlie Brown specials.
screamapiller
Apr 6, 2004 @ 9:07 pm
If I see one more commercial about light beers and how they're low carb, I'm gonna put my foot thru the TV screen.
If you're THAT worried about your carbs, then just drink straight vodka!
phxchic
Apr 6, 2004 @ 9:07 pm
Champ Bear was champagne colored, had a trophy on his tummy, and no headband. He was mine as a kid.
Tiger Balm rocks! Used in college to soothe aching muscles after Habitat for Humanity.
aurora
Apr 6, 2004 @ 9:12 pm
I never had a Care Bear. Y'all are making me feel left out.
Topic? I finally saw the new spongemonkeys commercial yesterday. I actually felt kinda sad when they went away for awhile.
puckish
Apr 6, 2004 @ 9:31 pm
It's not Tiger Balm (the product) that grates so much as it is Jerry Rice and his arthur-itis, needing-her-feet-rubbed mama. ARTHUR-ITIS! An infection caused by Arthur! Or is it that she has an infection IN her Arthur?
Mangetical Anji
Apr 6, 2004 @ 9:42 pm
Or is it that she has an infection IN her Arthur?
Is that the same as a hoo-hoo, only instead of being glittery, it's dry and itchy?
ETA that I'm sure that I'm going to hell for this.
cal331
Apr 6, 2004 @ 9:46 pm
Is that Bob Odenkirk campaigning for Miller to become The President of Beers? I thought it looked like him, but the ad is dreadfully unfunny, so who knows.
I like a truck ad. Can't believe it, but the GMC ad where the trucks do a shimmery CGI morph up, down and across the screen to "Keep on Trucking" (sung by, whom, I do not know, but it sounds good) is inoffensive, even enjoyable. No hemis, or false macho posturing required. Thanks, GMC. Still not buying a truck, but it's not personal, I'm just poor.
Mangetical Anji
Apr 6, 2004 @ 9:50 pm
"Keep On Truckin'" is a song by Eddie Kendricks, one of the original Temptations.
[/music dork]
cal331
Apr 6, 2004 @ 9:57 pm
Thanks, dork! (Meant in the nicest possible way.)
Mangetical Anji
Apr 6, 2004 @ 10:01 pm
Welcome! (Loves being a music dork.)
puckish
Apr 6, 2004 @ 10:37 pm
Is that the same as a hoo-hoo, only instead of being glittery, it's dry and itchy?
Bwah!
But no, I think of an Arthur as being more like the Victoria's Secret Bob Dylan. (I had seen the pictures of him here, but hadn't seen the spot until tonight. Yeesh. There are no words.)
(Except maybe that he's totally got a BAD case of the arthur-itis.)
Excuse me. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit, with all this talk of Arthur and hoo-hoos and the new and considerably unimproved Bob Dylan. It's a particularly foul melange of yuck and ewwww.
Mangetical Anji
Apr 6, 2004 @ 10:49 pm
When I hear "Arthur", I think "Jerry Stiller". Who, incidentally, resembles Vincent Price and Bob Dylan.
So could this Arthur-itis be a sort of amalgam of Jerry Stiller, Vincent Price, and Bob Dylan, to create a horrifying new android that is in desperate need of muscle pain relief? We could call it..."Jerry PriceBob."
puckish
Apr 6, 2004 @ 10:54 pm
I'd give my right eye to hear Jerry Rice's mama talking about how much Tiger Bomb helped heal her Jerry PriceBob.
And that leads me to wonder... perhaps the makers of Tiger Balm could manufacture a particularly effective formula of brain bleach?
(And yeah. Jerry Stiller definitely fits into the Triad of Ick.)
cronox5
Apr 6, 2004 @ 11:03 pm
If I see one more commercial about light beers and how they're low carb, I'm gonna put my foot thru the TV screen.
If you're THAT worried about your carbs, then just drink straight vodka!
the WORST is that new "Green Light" beer. if theyre only gonna make 15 second commercials that run twice a break, at least have MORE THAN ONE commercial made.
and the Bob Odenkirk miller ad is just horrifically bad. stick to T+A Miller.
brighid
Apr 6, 2004 @ 11:05 pm
Champ Bear was champagne colored, had a trophy on his tummy, and no headband. He was mine as a kid.
Really? I bought a Champ Bear recently for my niece and it was blue.
Mangetical Anji
Apr 6, 2004 @ 11:08 pm
I'd give my right eye to hear Jerry Rice's mama talking about how much Tiger Bomb helped heal her Jerry PriceBob.
And that leads me to wonder... perhaps the makers of Tiger Balm could manufacture a particularly effective formula of brain bleach?
(And yeah. Jerry Stiller definitely fits into the Triad of Ick.)
Oh great,
puckish, now I have an image of Jerry PriceBob in a football jersey and those tight spandex football pants. Eeeeeew.
Tiger Bomb better make brain bleach mighty quick, or this might have to be moved into the Scarred for Life thread.
rosiebloom
Apr 6, 2004 @ 11:11 pm
Anyone hate Smilin' Bob?
Fuck Smilin' Bob.
sugarfreekelli
Apr 7, 2004 @ 12:02 am
Ugh. Smilin' Bob. For about five seconds, I thought the ads were clever. Now they've deteriorated into utter creepiness. *shudder*
Unlucky Bear
Apr 7, 2004 @ 12:22 am
I used to have every Care Bear known to man, but now just have a giant Good Luck Bear that I sleep with every night and a tiny Good Night Bear that I throw at people who displease me.
Yknow what? I've seen a new one that I don't remember. It's called Try Your Best Bear, and its this puke green color and has a kite on its tummy. It reeks of 90s-era PC self-esteem-iness to me. Probably the bear that sucked at everything in Care-a-lot....
screamapiller
Apr 7, 2004 @ 12:43 am
a tiny Good Night Bear that I throw at people who displease me
Unlucky Bear, I can't even tell you how much soda is all over my desk after reading a sentence like that which I never imagined I'd see. Brilliant!
Miki The Brain
Apr 7, 2004 @ 1:37 am
It's a particularly foul melange of yuck and ewwww.
This is going to make it into my everyday vernacular. Love it.
I was watching TV tonight with my best friend, who rarely watches any TV (I'm actually one of the few people I know who watches and snarks....luckily, I have all you guys). She'd never seen the new VS spots and actually asked me who that man was. When I replied Bob Dylan, she was like, oh. Wow. He looks like a child molester. Looks like VS had JUST the right idea of who to put in their ads....
healing fish
Apr 7, 2004 @ 1:57 am
Yknow what? I've seen a new one that I don't remember. It's called Try Your Best Bear, and its this puke green color and has a kite on its tummy. It reeks of 90s-era PC self-esteem-iness to me. Probably the bear that sucked at everything in Care-a-lot....
Hee-larious.
TenPea
Apr 7, 2004 @ 7:23 am
I finally saw the Dylan VS commercial last night. Ew. Just, ew. It's just so wrong. So wrong. Seeing him was bad enough, but then they show this model-who-could-be-his-granddaughter-for-christs-sakes supposedly being seductive towards him? Oh. My. God.
TraceyBee
Apr 7, 2004 @ 7:52 am
I'm getting really, really tired of those Crest WhiteStrips bimbos and their terrifying mondo-sized teeth. They show those ads all the time during Queer Eye, and even muted, those ads are nauseating. I will never, ever buy or use WhiteStrips.
At least Queer Eye no longer shows the Sarrono ads with the Borg-Queen-looking woman fellating the ice cube.
FfrauleinN
Apr 7, 2004 @ 7:57 am
Who's Smilin' Bob? Am I going to be sorry I asked?
Topic: I hate the comercials for crestor. What the hell is it? Stop with your Dr. Seuss rhyming and tell us what the damn drug is!
Dammit! I kept meaning to bring that up. There
is something very Dr. Seuss-goes-Gothic about it, yes? "Why are these morons smiling? Want to find out? Ask your doctor ... what Crestor's about." I can see it now: "Doctor Soandso, what's Crestor about?"
My Share Bear brings all the boys to the yard...
BWAH!
Hee. "Try Your Best Bear." That’s so lame I don't even know what to with it. I think you guys have covered the mocking from all angles.
Tornado25
Apr 7, 2004 @ 8:58 am
Who's Smilin' Bob? Am I going to be sorry I asked?
He's the Enzyte dude. I'm really getting sick of all the ads, too. I also hate how they seem so altruistic, buying gobs of airtime for a free sample, but then realizing it's a ploy to get you to keep buying it.
If you're THAT worried about your carbs, then just drink straight vodka!
WORD! But, also, how much are these people drinking that the carbs from beer are bothering them? Look at it this way: Miller Light claims to have 3.2g/carb in each beer. If you have 3
everyday after work, that's still only 9.6g/carb/day. Is that a lot? I don't really know. I do know that you either are a) a light drinker where the carbs really shouldn't affect your diet one way or another or b) a heavy enough drinker where your diet pretty much is not a diet. I'm b), so my Captain 'n' Coke will never,
ever be a Captain 'n' Diet.
I am also embarrassed to say that I guess I never really listened closely enough to the song to know what a milkshake was until now. *Sobs as waves of old age at 28 wash over Tornado*
Alexandria Bay
Apr 7, 2004 @ 9:19 am
It's not Stephen Colbert but an amazing simulation. I refer to the return of the Fellow's shredder ad, where a dark haired man in a blue windbreaker appears to be standing by his garbage can discussing the documents you shouldn't put there. The stunning, stunning!, twist is that he's an identity thief finding useful things in someone else's garbage. Every time it comes on, even though I know better, I think "ooh, Colbert! It's French, bitch." And then am sad because it isn't Colbert at all.
So...in a way Mr. Identity Thief works on two levels for me. Hmm.
formergr
Apr 7, 2004 @ 9:33 am
Look at it this way: Miller Light claims to have 3.2g/carb in each beer. If you have 3 everyday after work, that's still only 9.6g/carb/day. Is that a lot? I don't really know. I do know that you either are a) a light drinker where the carbs really shouldn't affect your diet one way or another or b) a heavy enough drinker where your diet pretty much is not a diet.
As a health professional, I should agree with you,
Tornado. But, after not being able to lose my 5 lbs of Midwest-winter weight gain with a healthy diet and lots of exercise, I finally switched from light beer to vodka-and-sodas. I exercised less if anything during that time, and I lost the weight in 3 weeks. Weird, but I know of others it worked for too.
Anyhoo, I'm loving the Care Bears conversations, and I just thought I'd share that I had Make-a-Wish bear as a kid. But try as I might, he never made any of my wishes come true :(
The Last Dodo
Apr 7, 2004 @ 9:55 am
Somewhat in line with the Gold Bond powder (which works well, actually, if you can manage to buy it without being afraid someone'll think you're one of the rednecks that touts it) and Blue Star ointment is a spot I hear on the radio nearly every morning.
It's for Tiger Balm. It's got Jerry Rice singing the praises of the stuff, and when he says it, it sounds like he's saying "tiger bomb." And then his mom comes on and she says it's "arthur-itis" rub. And then, in one of the biggest ew moments I have ever heard on morning radio, she asks him to rub some on her feet.
For whatever reason, these are reminding me of a commercial from about ten years ago that drove me insane. It was for I think Lactaid, and it was these two women at a carnival or something like that. The one offers the other an ice cream cone, and she turns it down by chirping, "I'm lactose intolerant! You know, painful gas! Bloating!"
I mean, even assuming that you were that lacking in self-consciousness about your bodily functions, would you
really be positively
CHIPPER about it?
JHeaton
Apr 7, 2004 @ 10:13 am
A sad thing to be irked about, to be sure
That could be the motto of The Commercial Thread. :-)
FfrauleinN
Apr 7, 2004 @ 10:30 am
Didn't Painful Gas! Bloating! lady have peppy hand gestures to go along with her description, kind of like she was in a grade school play?
jennifuh
Apr 7, 2004 @ 10:37 am
Fuck Smilin' Bob.
Isn't that the point? I say just let him sit there, smiling through his four hour erection.
ladyDonna
Apr 7, 2004 @ 10:51 am
"Uh oh, looks like Bob has suffered a rare side effect!" Too bad they won't finish the Smilin' Bob ad campaign with Bob in the hospital tranked to the eyebrows, after not being able to get it down anymore. (With Mrs. Bob at his bedside, still grinning broadly.)
Sleestak Hunter
Apr 7, 2004 @ 10:57 am
So, today at the website for one of our local (SF, CA) radio stations (107.7 The Bone, KSAN)-
Disc Jockey Steven Seaweed writes about everybody's favorite Bob Dylan/Victoria's secret commercial.
In fact-
he has a link to a video clip from 1965 of Dylan answering a reporter's question: "if you were to sell out- to what commercial interest would you sell out to...
We can't say Bob didn't warn us.....
Etaoin Shrdlu
Apr 7, 2004 @ 11:15 am
Aaaah! Gingy is back!
WTF? I thought he was supposed to be a Christmas cookie. Why is he still working at Walmart?
He's discussing strategies for pleasing Walmart customers with some geezer who's also unlucky enough to have to work there. It ends with him asking "So size doesn't really matter?" Geezer says "Not if you're a cookie."
Is that supposed to be a double entendre? Is Gingy underendowed? Do gingerbread men even have genitalia?
Tornado25
Apr 7, 2004 @ 11:41 am
I finally switched from light beer to vodka-and-sodas. I exercised less if anything during that time, and I lost the weight in 3 weeks.
Hmmm. That made me think of the little piece of info a friend gave me, that one slice of white bread has something like a 100 calories. I was like, no wonder this carb thing is such a big deal. Just make sure it's diet soda,
formergr.
Undisclosed
Apr 7, 2004 @ 12:52 pm
Not strictly a TV moment, but I feel obligated to go and kill every loan company in the world that has chosen to spoil my TV viewing pleasure. Please, for the love of God, I do not want to clear my non-existent debts with interest rates that result in the total payable amount being twice as much as the original amount loaned. What really irks me is that they dump them in all the kids channels' (yes, I admit of my own free will to watching Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network). Though I do understand their logic - those 7 year olds really do need loans secured on their mortgages to pay for a new car.
DoctorNeon
Apr 7, 2004 @ 12:55 pm
"Uh oh, looks like Bob has suffered a rare side effect!" Too bad they won't finish the Smilin' Bob ad campaign with Bob in the hospital tranked to the eyebrows, after not being able to get it down anymore. (With Mrs. Bob at his bedside, still grinning broadly.)
I'm
so going to produce the pamphlet: "Priapism, and you! What you need to know!"
chris2
Apr 7, 2004 @ 1:00 pm
I'm getting really, really tired of those Crest WhiteStrips bimbos and their terrifying mondo-sized teeth. They show those ads all the time during Queer Eye, and even muted, those ads are nauseating. I will never, ever buy or use WhiteStrips.
Word. The current one features the lady meeting her girlfriends for lunch and they're all "You're getting laid! You're getting laid!" And she just sits there smiling and I swear she has 42 teeth - and that's just on top.
formergr
Apr 7, 2004 @ 1:21 pm
Just make sure it's diet soda, formergr.
Yup! I meant club soda, in fact, but that's the key. No sugar, etc. And I haven't seen Gingy yet, but ugh! Apparently Wal-mart was bombarding the LA-area with commercials right before the big vote on the Inglewood mega-complex, yet denied that the commercials had anything to do with the vote. Shyeah right!
jcpdiesel21
Apr 7, 2004 @ 1:27 pm
I'm getting really, really tired of those Crest WhiteStrips bimbos and their terrifying mondo-sized teeth. They show those ads all the time during Queer Eye, and even muted, those ads are nauseating. I will never, ever buy or use WhiteStrips.
Word. The current one features the lady meeting her girlfriends for lunch and they're all "You're getting laid! You're getting laid!" And she just sits there smiling and I swear she has 42 teeth - and that's just on top.
Yes, those teeth that those ladies are sporting are mighty disturbing. And what also bugs me is that the bimbo with the whitey brighties
must be smiling so much because she has a guy in her life. Couldn't she have found a good bargain at the store? Had a good day at work? Discovered to her extreme joy that her hoo-hoo is hemi powered?
Tornado25
Apr 7, 2004 @ 1:45 pm
Apparently Wal-mart was bombarding the LA-area with commercials right before the big vote on the Inglewood mega-complex, yet denied that the commercials had anything to do with the vote. Shyeah right!
Pfft. If I hadn't yet made up my mind as to how I was going to vote and was bombarded by tons happy-day, we are great, vomit-inducing Wal-Mart ads, they can sure to have secured a negative vote for them from me. And judging by the outcome, that's probably what happened!
TenPea
Apr 7, 2004 @ 2:18 pm
Discovered to her extreme joy that her hoo-hoo is hemi powered?
Or Glittery?
Peppermint Patty
Apr 7, 2004 @ 2:25 pm
It ends with him asking "So size doesn't really matter?" Geezer says "Not if you're a cookie."
Is that supposed to be a double entendre? Is Gingy underendowed? Do gingerbread men even have genitalia?
Oh, ew. Ewewew. All I can think about now is the Gingerbread man from Shrek in reference to this, and it ain't pretty.
wdejesus79
Apr 7, 2004 @ 3:46 pm
All I can think about now is the Gingerbread man from Shrek in reference to this
I always thought that the
Shrek Gingerbread Man and the Walmart Gingy were one and the same. Go figure.
DramaPrincess
Apr 7, 2004 @ 4:40 pm
I know it's been said on this thread before, but those Tom Clancy video game ads are just in such poor taste that they make me sick. They're just disgusting.
ChinkyGirl
Apr 7, 2004 @ 4:45 pm
Anyone hate Smilin' Bob?
Fuck Smilin' Bob.
Yes, I hate him. Only because he prompted my dad to turn to me and ask, "What kind of medicine is that?"
Tornado25
Apr 7, 2004 @ 4:53 pm
I know it's been said on this thread before, but those Tom Clancy video game ads are just in such poor taste that they make me sick. They're just disgusting.
Oh, totally,
DramaPrincess. Could we please leave the Pledge of Allegience somewhat sacrosanct? Geesh. When I first saw that one, I thought it might be an Army ad, but no--more taking advantage of those braver than I for dollars. Jackass.
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