Word, Dodo, just WORD. How about the CCF send me some money.

In that one ad for some sort of nocotine gum (that's just gross, btw...isn't it the same as, oh I don't know...chewing tobacco?!), why does everyone feel the need to comment to the smoker, "You're my hero!" Gag.

Actually, I find this heartwarming. See, I view it as a testament to Grandma's desire to remain independent and do things for herself, and her family's acceptance of her wish to walk her own way, literally. They could've just grabbed her by the arms and dragged her down the sidewalk, muttering "C'mon, ya old bag." Which I think would not be an improvement.

Plus she called shotgun! She's still fiesty and vital! She's not dead yet!

I had never heard about this until a read a post about it on the Commercials I Hate message board. The poster had some funny things to say about it.



Every time I would see this commercial and the woman would say that, I immediately thought of that certain tingle inside. BTW, the girl in question is about 6 years old.

Did you go to OSU? Because I don't know many people who call it The Ohio State University, even the grads I know. Incidentally, my dad (Purdue alumnus) married an Indiana alumna, so it can work!

I nearly got here in time to post the very same thing!

I gotta share the love for my new favorite commercials. Syracuse stage is producing "The Wizard of Oz." They have commercials of "Toto auditions." They use all types of dogs, like a pug( who is barking angrily at the director) then walks off stage. Or a French poodle (Nice perm) a golden retriver who sits next to the mic panting ("You're happy. Sad. Happy. Sad.") At the end of the commercial, the director says "Doesn't anybody have a handle on this role?" And you see a ball roll across the stage, and a dachound chase it. The director then says "Oh, I cant wait for the flying monkey auditions." I know my discription didnt give the commercail justice, but its funny as all hell.

I love these commercials and all their monthy python - esque corniness.

Is that Arnold Diaz as The Investigator in the new anti-drug commercials? It even seems like just the kind of thing he'd do. I actually find it slightly more palatable than the one with the mother for some reason.

My sister got into a wreck shortly after she got her license one rainy day. Several months pass, and a cop shows up with a supenia(sp?) for her because the 300 pound fat-ass died and his wife wanted to sue my sister for causing it. Grrrr...


You mean the followup to The Enforcer ad which features the Dad as ... THE INQUISITOR? I didn't find it nearly as effect, well, as effective as these lame PSAs can be in any event. Rather than ride the kid's arse, the father just sits in his lazy boy and asks her if she's done drugs.

Anyone else notice that they've toned the "sell it for CAAAAAASH!" guy way down? It's still pretty unbearable, but my ears don't bleed every time it comes on anymore.

Has anyone else seen the Office Depot commercial set to the Spinners' 1970s classic "Rubberband Man." It's brilliant.

Just looked up to see someone with red curly hair face-plant on a skateboard ramp, and thought "yay! Carrot Top is in pain!". Then the person got up and I realized it's the skateboarding mom you've been talking about recently. I was so disappointed.

Bite me. Go Bucks!

OK, I never actually saw that ad. And frankly I've never really understood why Michigan hated us--I mean, you (almost) always won. It wasn't like we were actually your competition. Oh, except that year we won the national championship.

The current nicotine gum ad that bugs me is the one where the guy's saying it had been several weeks and the cravings were worse than ever and he was about to give in...but wait! His date's shirt pattern reminds of the yellow gum inside its foil/plastic trays! What. the. hell. Also, he stares at her shirt for so long without the camera switching to show what he's looking at that it really looks like he's staring at her ass.

God, I love this commercial. Everytime I hear the music I turn towards the TV just to see the guy and his awesomely weird parted afro dancin' around.

Love, love it.

While we're on college football, Sports Illustrated had me giggling today. Except, not on purpose. First, I caught their newest promo for one year subscriptions -- subscribe now, get mementos and a yearbook commemorating LSU's first national championship since 1958! Yay, Tigers! Then, a few hours later, I caught their newest promo for one year subscriptions -- subscribe now, get mementos and a yearbook commemorating USC's first national championship since 1978! Yay, Trojans! I wonder how they delicately ask which memento package to send without pissing off the folks overjoyed that SI has recognized the real champions. Life must suck for those operators.

Use of the "The" is a staple of Monday Night Football player self-introductions. That's the only reference I'm making, though I have heard proud Buckeye alums use the "The."

More on topic...

Generally, in direct-response advertising, this is done by use of separate toll-free numbers. The operator gets a prompt indicating which offer to make. I haven't observed the two ads closely enough to see if that's what they are doing.



Agreed--these are very fun ads. Only problem....they are for Office Max. I've got a friend who works there, and they made a big deal at the corporate HQ when this new campaign was coming out. Office Max, Office Depot, and Staples have major problems differentiating themselves in the eyes of the consumer, and I know that's one of the objectives of the new campaign--differentiating, and building the Office Max brand. Unfortunately, it looks as if it's not sticking quite yet....

Something told me it was for either Office max or Depot; with the afro-headed dude, (love that hair) rolling the cart full of office supplies. And low and behold you see the name the company's name on the cart(I think). Love that commercial. And it was a great fitting to play the song because the guy did look like a rubberband-man, lol.

Suddenly I'm very afraid that someone will think of doing a Ghostbusters ripoff so that viewers will have no choice but to remember the correct company name.

"Who ya gonna call? Office Max!"

I found the dachshunds in Dixie.

I thought the same thing when McDonald's unveiled their "Big 'N Tasty" burger a few years ago. Isn't saying "This new burger is big and tasty" basically implying that their previous burgers haven't been?

Hee. The old burgers were tiny and tasted like crap. You know, just like how the old nuggets were made of beaks 'n' assholes.

I don't recognize him. You know what kills me about those? There are all these poor raggedy kids following him around, and he doesn't pause to give them some soup or sweater. Damn, CCF, at least pretend like he's down there helping the kids.

Yeah. Now it just sounds like gagging instead of projectile vomiting.

I worked for Staples for eactly 1 week and 2 days back in college. They wanted me to work hellacious hours and I couldn't get my homework done. I quit. But I digress...
Isn't the color of all three chains red? Aren't the uniforms all just basically variations on a theme of red polo and khakis? We don't have Staples where I moved (thank Deity of your choice), but we have a lot of Max/Depots and I think they all wear red and I can never remember which store I was meaning to go to when I get there. I go to the Office Depot all the time and expect to get my Office Max! Free! After Rebate! phone or modem and they just laugh and laugh. Stupid store. One needs a name change. /flu or really bad cold induced ranting.

This whole burger discussion reminds me of McDonald's "Arch Deluxe" campaign from several years ago. The commercials tended to focus on the fact that it was a "grown-up's" burger (somehow...never was clear on why, exactly), and how much kids hated it. There were several different commercials featuring children complaining about how the Arch Deluxe was "wrecking the whole place," etc. One featured a man who worked at McDonald's and came to his kid's school for career day, and he was talking about how he gets to make the Big Mac, and the Quarter Pounder, and "I even get to make the Arch Deluxe!" At which point all the kids in the room yelled, "Ewwwww!"

Focusing on how much a certain demographic hates your product, yeah, that'll work. I bet most of y'all don't even remember the Arch Deluxe anymore, heh.

There's this movie ad. It's all.about.the.actress's.body. Her ass in a tight, short skirt. Her bikini'd self on a beach. Her body as the prize for one character to join the plot of the film, which has to do with some sort of con game. Her body all over the screen. But who gets named at the end of the ad? Luke Wilson and Morgan Freeman. Needlesstosay, it was neither of them in the skirt or bikini. Maybe if it was, I'd consider going, though.

That's right, bikini girl. Let us flash your body all over the screen, but don't expect to be acknowledged as anything more than a glittery hoo hoo.

I remember the Arch Deluxe. I liked it a lot, actually, with the potato bun and the barbecue type sauce. The round bacon (non-Canadian variety) threw me a bit, but I went with it. I was rather sad when it went away, since I don't like Quarter Pounders or Big Macs and never have.

Something is very wrong. The Shop-Rite can-can ads no longer feature a strategically placed "ooh-la-la" after them....

They just unveiled another Don Cheadle "NFL Playoffs" ad. Is it just me, or are these starting to get a little weird?

The next one..."The NFL Playoffs. They turned a groin pull...into a groin pull."

I vaguely remember some print/billboard ads with Ronald McDonald in a tux straightening his bowtie(!). Yep, real successful ad campaign.

I don't even recall what the hell the "McLean" advertising campaign was, and I worked at McDonald's at the time.

I think it's a PSA, not sure. This guy is running around in a park dressed like (I thought) a blood drop. He's pestering people on picnics and running around. I'm thinking he's a blood clot, you know reminding people to get checked for stuff like that. But NO! He's a COLON POLYP! AAAA!! It's an ad for colon cancer! Wonder how much they paid this guy to dress up like that.

Ok. Two commercials which must die:

Anna Nicole Smith for Trimspa. She steps out of her stretch Hummer (gag) and announces "I'm BACK! *squeal! tee hee!*" to all the many photographers and reporters who just can't wait to scoop her awe inspiring weight loss story. Uh, but sorry Anna, but we never missed you in the first place.

Two: The John Henson Project or Show or Whatever commercials for some stupid show starring some stupid guy which I'm supposed to be compelled to watch after viewing the advertising masterpeice that is him squeezing beer out of a foam finger into his mouth and proclaiming, "That's good finger!" Ha. Ha.

On a happy note, I just saw the most random yet hilarious commercial from the National Orthopedic and Chiropractic Organization...ok, that's not the real name of it, but it's all I remember. Anyway, they're encouraging 40+ people to get more exercise and giving some suggestions about taking up a new sport. They easily could have gone the stereotypical route, like showing people say, briskly walking in a park or in a casual game of tennis, but instead they show this older lady deciding to enroll in Matador College. I almost lost it when the matador instructor was chasing people around on a bike with horns attatched to it. Then when the lady arrives back home, in her matador costume, her husband puts down the paper and stares at her for awhile and then says "Ole!" all sexy and come-hitherish. I hope you see it, because my description is lacking, but there you go. I thought it was brilliant, expecially for such a random cause.

ETA: Yeah, mrbridgii it was Spike. Such a classy channel, go figure!

The Right Guard commercial where Warren Sapp offends everybody after winning the first foosball game - when he wins the second game, why exactly are the "players" doing the Riverdance? Is there some cultural significance?

So John Henson (the least remembered host of "Talk Soup") is finally getting a show? From your ad summary, zona, I'm guessing Spike? Oh well, will watch it about as often as the new Man Show (which is never).

Anna Nicole is looking pretty good though. Wonder where Howard is though?

Thanks FfrauleinN, I always wondered what he big deal was that they are now made with white meat.

BWAH! That would be quality.

I actually like the majority of the Don Cheadle spots. They help me think about something other than Mike Ditka hawking Levitra. {shudder}

Don't you remember those old Wendy's commercials? They were made of little bitty pieces parts.

And speaking of beaks, remember this story from a few years back? Ew.

That's just nasty, and people wonder why I'm a vegetarian.

As a local news producer I got in trouble for airing that story in our National Wrap Up. The news director said it was "unnecessarily grotesque and offensive" and I thought it was wicked cool. This is why I no longer work in news.

Back on topic--If I see that commercial one more time with the man who lives in the town where everyone has his face, I will throw up. It's for some sort of lending thing and he dreams that everyone is the same but those kids with his face seriously freak me out.

I was just about to leave this board when I saw a commercial that I now feel the need to gripe about. Loreal "Revitalift" cream, featuring Andie MacDowell, who is fencing, alone, in a white room. Then at the end, we get a super-close-up of Andie, who declares, "My wrinkles are less visible." Well, yes, because it looks like you've soaked your whole head in a big ol' bucket of botox.

The man who dreams of everyone in town looking like him -- that commercial is for Ameriquest Mortgage Company. Meh. I don't want to see the same guy's face on everyone's body unless I'm watching "Being John Malkovich."

Andie's wrinkles are less visible because they've turned the contrast on the film all the way up. She's so starkly white in that commercial, she looks ghostly. They also avoid focusing on her forehead (fivehead? It's pretty big) as much as possible. I think she's a very handsome woman, but sorry Andie, the wrinkles are still visible. Quit sweating it, honey.

Yeah, John Henson is so funny. Not! I am guess that this is going to be SPIKE's answer to The Man Show, but someone else will have to tell me.


I wonder if that really is a chicken head or an unfortunately-shaped McNugget? McDonald's? Hatin' it!

Speaking of food, I saw this ad for ESP magazine that featured a little rip-off of Close Enoucnters. This guy is reading their magazine with some team's goofy but lovable mascot on the cover and when he looks at his dinner plate, he realizes that the food on his plate looks just like the mascot! It's weak but never fails to make me chuckle.

I finally saw the "swimsuite supermodel" commercial and I understand the hate now.

O.k., anyone else around here freaked out by those Linux ads? With the little android kid sitting in the chair in various places, like the Brooklyn Bridge, as a VO talks about random stuff, like chaos theory and community? What is the point of these ads? What is Linux, anyway? I assume it's some computer thing, but the ad does nothing to explain it. Are they asking us to buy the kid or something?

Really. Those ads make me think of Ender's Game more than anything.

At the Office Maxes I've been to, the employees all wear blue shirts...but the sign outside is red, so I can see how that would be confusing.
I still love the (relatively old) Dinty Moore commercial with the parents who decide to be rock stars. I think it's just the pink pants and the mesh shirts that do it for me ;-)

That Dinty Moore commercial is old? I saw it last night and had never seen it before. Heh.

Yeah, I just saw that one too. Dinty Moore is so gross.

Hee. I remember this, unfortunately. I think there was hard liquor in the middle. Remember the "Mac Tonite" campaign? I think that might just suck more than "I'm lovin' it."

Okay, then there's really no reason for them to exist. Especially now that they feature the creepy redheaded identical-except-in-size twins.

Yeah. Hence the "beaks 'n' assholes" reference. I wish I could take credit for that, but someone else on this thread coined the phrase.

Ender's game? Now that would be a good 20 part Sci-Fi channel miniseries. I'm thinking cel-shaded computer animation for the Battle School flash-suit games.
Topic: Airheads candy commercials, has been started to run this one where the kids are watching a lame school musical, and the guy is lisping/singing with two hot chicks (I don't know if they have glittery armpits, though): "The life of a sailor, that's the life for me!!" I see the Hoyay, and the Hoyay was good.

Oh, I liked the "MacTonight" campaign. It was classy with the crescent moon tickling the ivories to that old song, but then again, "classy" is the last thing I'd associate with hiphop music.

I liked Mac Tonight too, but not everybody has a taste for show tunes.

"Oh the line starts on the right dear…"

And the kid is the one who used to play Christopher Titus in flashback. I find that distracting. I keep thinking little Dave is going to pop in and set something on fire, or run into a wall.

I live in NYC and would probably ignore whomever was standing right next to me on the platform...man on fire? Ignore. For the love of Jeebus, do not make eye contact with the doll!!!!

Except for the girl who gives out her phone number in that gum commercial, I'd talk to her, yup. Mamasita!