Bwahahahaha! ... Eep!

Doesn't that one guy in the business suit help somebody take out the trash after he gets a free Coke? I noticed because I was also looking for the people's lives to improve, but I think that's the only time something like that happens in the commercial.

I would be, if that little bastard was my brother and those cheesy-dot ordering morons were our parents.

Check out Dave Barry Does Japan for some great examples of Engrish, like "KING FUCKER CHICKEN."

On topic, there's more news from retro-land. Anyone remember those commercials for Comedy Central that featured a slightly doped up sounding guy interviewing people in a studio, asking them to take their shirts off and stuff? Weird.

Remember in the 80's when it was cool to have Japanese on clothing?


Bwah!


They did that ad in which this group of people run out of things to dip and all start looking at the family dog, right?

Well, she also played Chandler's mom, Nora Tyler Bing, on Friends, but that's only been once in season 1 and in season 7.

In an ironic twist, the Nora Tyler Bing character on Friends was a parody of Joan Collins.

These kids today, I tell ya. Morgan Fairchild has been in countless (countless, I say!) TV movies and guest-starred on everything that was on TV in the 80s. However her biggest claim to fame, if you can call it that, is probably Flamingo Road, one of the numerous prime time soaps of the Dallas era. Also, Paper Dolls, a show about models, I think, that lasted maybe a season.

Morgan Fairchild

I'm hardly a kid. I knew those... I just didn't remember them. Morgan Fairchild and George Hamiliton both have a gazillion very forget-able roles.

no, that was one of the many flavored mayonaises.

great, now I'm going to be walking around singing 'love is a many flavored mayo..."

Also, gotta proclaim my love for the AmEx commercials with Jerry and Superman (even better that it's Patrick Warburton doing the voice!).

"It's Green Lantern again..."
"I'm NOT here...."

hee!


I must also proclaim my hate for the Six Flags old dude. It wasn't even cute or funny the first time, in my opinion. Now I'm just sick of him.

I love this ESPN ad where all these kids are on the playground and talking sports. to me, it was too cute to hear them saying things like, "Shaq's the man, but Yao's really shown me some stuff." (Paraphrasing). Then they all go to the classroom and listen to ESPN radio.

But then again, I love all ESPN ads.

Tell me about it. I hate these fucking ads! The worst is one where the mayor of Napa is on yapping about how wonderful it is that Wal-Mart is there--they pay taxes, employ 87% of the residents, blahblahcorporatecakes. I was reading about this and apparently Wal-Mart is trying to fight back against some of the backlash they get for being so big, closing down small business, consuming huge amounts of resources, employing illegals, refusing to provide decent health ins for their workers and just generally being a loathsome hellhole. Thus, they put out ads where people pulled themselves up by their bootstraps to manage a Wal-Mart. It's real fucking heartwarming.


Sounds yummy! I love garlic.


No, it's not unreasonable to be angry when some asshat thinks desecrating a national landmark with a smug little ad campaign is ok. It's not ok. And the little disclaimer "follow all National Park Service rules" (you mean that one that says "don't just dump stuff in the geyser"? that rule?!?) isn't really ok, either.


BWAH!

Here are the real lyrics.


FfrauleinN, I'll have to watch again for that. You have eagle eyes!


Allow me to jump on the hate train for the Dominos ad. I so want that kid and the parents to be smacked down!

That is soooooooo NOT Weezy dancing in the Old Navy commercial. We see and hear her at the beginning, but that's all. I think the double even looks thinner than she does. The Jeffersons winning was the ONLY moment of the TV land Awards that I caught and, yes, she could barely walk. She was holding onto Sherman Hemsley for dear life AND she walked with a cane! Weird! The ON commercial just came on as I am typing this!

I FINALLY saw the diarrhea dance! All I can say is WOW! I have to see it again before I can form a real opinion about it. I do think it is in very poor taste, tho.

OK, I just saw the Six Flags dancing old man at the website, and my opinion is that the old man's head is grafted onto a younger man's body at least some of the time. His head doesn't move naturally when he's getting his groove on. Not sure yet how I feel about this commercial.

Three things:

1) Edited to say: Yikes! I've been brainwashed by corporate propaganda. Ignore I ever said anything, please.

2) Morgan Fairchild first gained her fame in the early '70s on Search for Tomorrow, which at the time was the oldest soap on TV. She played a prototypical bad girl, and went on to repeat similar roles in a bunch of TV movies, a short-lived prime-time soap, and, most memorably, for a couple of years on Falcon Crest (another prime-time soap, for you whippersnappers in the audience). She also played Sandra Bernhard's girlfriend in a couple of episodes of Roseanne, and famously kissed Roseanne in one ep.

3) OK, you know the United Airlines commercials with the choppy animation and no dialogue? One features a guy going off to a job interview and getting the job, the other a woman having an idea and turning that idea into her own corporate empire? I have developed a huge crush on the guy in the ad. He's just trying to look so suave as he's getting ready for his interview, and then in the elevator he notices that his shoes are mismatched -- and then after the interview he is moping around the street, certain that he didn't get the job. I don't know why, but I looooove him -- I'm certain I start to blush every time the ad comes on.

ETA a fourth thing: The dancing old man for Six Flags reminds me of some creepy monster from Buffy or Angel -- maybe one of The Gentlemen?

Well, somewhere there's a real actor who looks like mismatched-shoe guy, because they're doing rotoscoped animation.

All but two of AdAge's Ads of the Week have been discussed here - and one of the two is from Mexico, while the other isn't even real. They've got puffy Seagal

and creepy Dylan:

You're all wrong. She's my wife, Morrrr-gan Fairchild, whom I've slept with!

Yeah. That's the ticket.

Oh, you mean like "It's a HONDAful life!" (see shitty Charlize Theron & Ashely Judd ads)

I think that still applies today!

That reminds me..anyone ever see an ad with James Earl Jones for Verizon (NYC?) where he's doing some funky dancing? Is that really him?!

I tried them and couldn't tell the difference either. But my hatred for their advertising doesn't begin to approach my hatred for their drive-thru workers and their sheer inability to count to six. Because a six-piece Chicken McNugget will invariably have five. Or four. A ten-piece will have eight or nine. Pretty sad when you have to stop and count the McNuggets before you drive away. I realize they're not going to get geniuses working at McDonald's but the ability to count to ten should be a requirement.


You're thinking of Nancy's other girlfriend, who was played by Mariel Hemmingway. Fairchild never kissed Roseanne.

Heh. Welcome, Tommy Flanagan.

Aw, now I miss Lovitz as the red M&M. I haven't seen the talking M&Ms in ages, since the color-loss campaign. (I also miss Master Thespian and, especially, Jay sherman, but those are not ad-related).

Hee, "furtive bus station lecher." They're almost right. Personally he strikes me as more of a furtive laundromat lecher, trying to be as unobtrusive as he can in hopes for a glimpse of underwear.

Thanks for reminding me of Jon Lovitz, Alexandria Bay. I've been meaning to ask: is he doing the voiceovers for Sierra Mist? You know, the one where it's so hot the guy and his dog dive into glasses of water (yeah, it's as stupid as it sounds)?

I'm beginning to think most commercials are now required to either feature a bear or be shot in a B/W detective movie/Maltese Falcon style. They're everywhere.

I really like the new Corona - Nude beach commerical, but I've only seen it one time. Has anyone else seen it yet?

chris2-


Hee. I went to McDonald's last night and that happened to me. Stupid McDonald's workers and their non-counting.

Ad I like right now: The Tylenol one that has no spoken words. I'm sick of annoying voices or annoying actors or both in ads.

No. It was a younger man in a horrible makeup job.

ETA: Moved rest of comment to Informercials.

I haven't seen this ad, but I did see a similar ad masquerading as a interview segment on Today last week, where Matt Lauer "interviewed" Jerry and the S-Man. It was incredibly hokey, and I wished for some Kryptonite to burn through the set. AmEx must have bought a boatload of commercial time to get that freebie plug.

Maybe she tried the South Beach diet at the same time as the tan program.....

Heh, because that is SO me.

I believe that the faux tanning uses artistic color airbrushing to create the illusion of muscle tone.


editing to add a truly hearty 'Heh-heh' to Miki The Brain for:

Seriously. I just came back from a *seven* nugget lunch. Hrm. Disturbing. All the white-meat nugget ads are disturbing, too. There has to be a better way advertise 'em.

I'm all for any campaign that manages to use the phrase "beaks 'n' assholes," and omit the phrase, "I'm lovin' it."

FreshlyGroundCoffee, I'm also several shades lighter than the printer paper I stocked my Epson with today. I actually made an effort to get some sun on Saturday and now have a dash of blush (or is it bashful-- extra love to anyone who identifies that reference) to my cheeks.

And you're right- the airbrushing tans can really create some pretty muscle tone. Those handiwipe things, probably not so much.

I've seen it a couple of times, and I really like it too. I like most Corona commercials, cause 1. I really love Corona, and 2. they're so calming and soothing, with just the beach and a bottle. Aaah, bliss.

[/QUOTE]a dash of blush (or is it bashful[QUOTE]

Oooh, ooh, let me guess! Is it "Steel Magnolias" -- ala the two shades of pink Julia Roberts chose for her wedding.

I hate that movie.

No, that's David Spade, also from SNL. They have sort of a simiarly high-pitched nasally voice thing going on, but they're different enough.

Vermcious Knid, terribly sorry to hear that. One of the only Julia Roberts movies I can tolerate....mostly because it has an amazing supporting cast. That movie is filled with priceless quotes, not the least of which is "I love you more than my luggage".....

Topic: I am beyond sick of watching the CGI kick Daddy in the jewels (DQ)... It MIGHT be funny if it weren't CGI'ed, like it randomly just happened during filming and everyone thought it was a funny shot, but the CGI? No. Not working for me.

I'm also getting sick of watching the Subway ad where the guy is oohing and aahing about their new salads and how he doesn't know how to say no to anything and then gestures at the monkey he bought his son when said son actually wanted a goldfish. Grr. Subway- Eat Fresh my ass. Everytime I go there, I have brownish lettuce and floppy tomatoes.

I hate it because there isn't one second in the entire movie that isn't completely contrived and screaming 'nominate me!'. Thankfully, it wasn't nominated for anything.

Oh, Decormaven. I am so sorry. I would have wished for some Kryptonite as well if I'd seen that. That is precisely the kind of stunt I've seen in the past that turned me away from "Today".... (I now watch Good Day New York, cause the folks on there are a bunch of wackadoos - the anchors and the field reporters actually insult each other on the air. And mean it. It's brilliant.)

The commercials are blissfully short (just Jerry and S-Man chatting for less than a minute), and you can view them online at AmEx's website.

I finally saw the Bob Dylan ad! If it weren't for reading about it here, I would have sworn that he was Vincent Price....creepy!

I had my first chicken mcnuggets in years, on Saturday. Damn, they were even better than I remembered! I freely admit to loving the nuggets. And I ordered a six-piece, I got a six-piece. Although, I'm sure if I was home in Baltimore, I'd have gotten like four and a half.

My mom sent me one of the clucking Cadbury bunnies, since I'm not going home for Easter. Pressing the little paw is absolutely addictive and my roommates already hate me for it. It's SO. CUTE. Eeee.

[/dorkiness]

I hate you too. :) I need one of those.

Aww, healing fish, tell you what. You can have my Cadbury bunny on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and I'll take him on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Sundays are negotiable.

Thank you cocokitty! I thought I was the only one that thought Bob Dylan looked like Vincent Price in that ad!

You're not alone

So, all Lucy has to do was buy something or other from Hallmark and Schroeder can be hers? Does she really think that'll work - excusing her generally nasty attitude and the horrible way she treats people?

Sorry, I just don't like Lucy. I'm more of a Sally fan. Or Peppermint Patty's friend, you know, whats-her-face.

Marcie.

I think Bob Dylan looks like a dirty old man. It's gross.

Thank you, sir.

I saw a new Blue Star Ointment commercial today. It was different from the ones I'd seen for about a decade right before the end of Y&R. They'd list all the things it could cure, and then they'd go "Blue Star Ointment - Ask for it!"

I'm pretty sure I brought this up months ago, but this was before I saw the new spawn of commercials.

Creepy Uncle Bob is a concept? Is Leslie Wexner on crack?

A little off topic, I heard a commercial on the radio this afternoon for some life insurance company that cracked my shit up. The spokesman said something about "You'll get all your money back, even if you don't die."

I kinda think that's the point that it's obviously a younger, thinner man. They are trying to be funny.

In the same vein as the Domino's Dots commercial with the junior sociopath in training, I just saw a Redi Whip commercial to loathe. Two boys and their dad are sitting around eating pumpkin pie. The first son takes a moderate amount of whipped cream. The second boy drenchs his slice in whipped cream, we're talking the Matterhorn here. It comes to the dad's turn to use the whipped cream and, lo and behold, the canister is empty! So the dad steals some of son #2's whipped cream. Fair enough, since the kid has about 4 times as much whipped cream as he needs (though dad probably should have told the kid to stop being a hog while he was serving himself the whipped cream.) Son number 2 then snots "Hey!" and the steals all of son #1's whipped cream, even though son #2 STILL had more whipped cream then son #1 after dad had helped himself. So what does dad do? Smack his son upside the head and send him to bed without dessert for being a selfish brat? Explain to the children that it's wrong to take food off someone else's plate without asking and that he was setting a bad example and he's sorry? No. He just sits there smirking eating his pie! What's the message, our product will make you a bad parent and give your children horrible table manners? Hate!

Aw, thanks. But he's probably gotten attached to you already, so I won't mess with that.

Hey, maybe someone really is reading what we say. I just saw a version of the Evil Violent Baby Dairy Queen ad that cuts off after the crotch-kick. The head-butt is gone. They go to a logo and voice-over instead.

Is someone listening? Or was it just the short-form version of the commercial? Hmmm...

add_duck, I think all these commercial parents need some parenting, dammit, parenting lessons from the master himself, Sandy Cohen.