I can believe it. Ad campaigns are getting very dumb. I mean, the Denny's slogan is "A good place to sit and eat." Bah. Stuff like this just makes me envision the boardroom meetings where a bunch of marketing jerks toss around stupid industryspeak and urrggh I hate marketing.

[Schoolhouse Rock] "Conjuction Junction, what's your function...!"[/Schoolhouse Rock]

Like you weren't thinking the same thing.

I saw a new ad that had a funny twist today. It featured this guy walking around at work and everyone noticing something was different about him. "You got promoted?" "You've been working out?" "You got your back shaved?" "You're taking Viagra ™?" Nope. He's switched to Bud Light!

Hee!

A few commercials I saw today that I liked:

One was for American Express with Tiger Woods chasing the Caddyshack gopher. Pretty funny.

I also saw one for Bud Light where they had the Bud Light research institute come up with a little toe weight lifting machine to burn off the carb while you drink beer.

I too am grossed out by the Charmin bears. Especially the little "uh oh" when he's playing baseball, that's just a little too much information. These commercials in no way entice me into buying Charmin.

I totally was.

I've been looking over some tapes from the early '90s, and discovered some really weird commercials. The one that really stands out is for Shiek condoms. A creepy off camera guy tries to pick up the same girl on two different days, and gets punched both times. The third day, he says "Before you hit me, I saw the man on tv, and he told me to get one of these." A hand comes from behind the camera holding a Shiek, the girl says "You're learning" and then punches him. As the camera falls to the ground the creepy guy mumbles "I think she likes me." How in any way is that supposed to entice me to buy the product?

Oh, ugh. I just saw this spot. They can't even invent plausible and interesting conversation snippets for the actors to say. One girl actually says "There's nothing like a schnauzer and..."

And what, ya dog-lovin' freak? Who would actually say that?

cal331



For some reason whenever I hear that, my brain automatically fills in with "& cheese on rye." But I swear I love dogs, really!

I'm such a dog-loving freak that I actually want to hear what else she's going to say...

A funny commercial but got old fast was that one with the boyfriend and the burger, where he moves his thumb seeing the double burger and than goes to the picture of his girlfiend and himself and does the same thing.

I just saw perhaps the most terrifying Wal-Mart commercial yet. There's a couple whose son wants to be a pharmacist and just started working at Wal-Mart. But what makes it truly terrifying is the mother's final line:

"The American Dream. It's out there. And it's at Wal-Mart."

Eek. No. Just...no.

Apparently the American Dream is that snaggle-toothed young lady in the halter top and short-shorts who smacked her toddler upside the head and shouted, "Keanu! Getcher ass down offa that register!" then haggled over the price of her beer and cigarettes while her child kicked other people in the shins tonight when we went out for groceries.
I thought the first ad with the Hemi-loving dad wasn't so awful. I mean, it was mildly sexist, but I know a lot of dads like that. Then there was the second one, where the wife is arranging flowers (arranging fucking flowers, people) with her girlfriend at a barbeque while her husband is setting himself on fire. She talks about how sensitive he was to her needs concerning the car, he talks about the Hemi and how "Liz finally saw it my way". I could even deal with that one because I thought it was sort of funny when he set himself on fire. Now- the couple is in the therapist's office. Her dream vacation- going on a picnic in a field of flowers. His- going fishing. With the Hemi.
This has got to end. With every new ad my rage at the executives who are pandering to us nice, delicate ladies who love to arrange flowers and go on picnics with our sensitive, loving husbands, while also pandering to our husbands who naturally love fishing, beer, barbeque, and the Hemi, increases exponentially. Plus, the wife in the ad says the stupid car has a DVD. Not a DVD player- a DVD. [Chandler]Shut up shut up shut arrrggglll[/Chandler].

I'd just like to pop in and mention this German condom commercial link I picked up. It's rather funny (no actual visual sexual content, so don't worry about ickiness).

http://c.adorablebunnies.com/wrap_it.mpg

See, I like this commercial. I think the dad is evil and deserves what he gets for not having anything for the baby to eat. Plus, he says, "That's why I'm the dad!" which is when the baby CGI kicks him and then head butts him. The first time I saw this it was so unexpected that I laughed VERY loudly and for about 10 minutes afterward!

I HATE the singing bunnies. I hated them LAST EASTER! I love bunnies, but that high-pitched baby sounding singing multiplied by hundreds is extremely annoying!

I also hate the Cadbury bunny. Those creme eggs look so gross, like snot-filled chocolate!

My favorite easter commercial (that I haven't seen) the one with the little kids at the end and one says, "Thanks, East Bunny!" and the other goes, "Bawk! Bawk!" This commercial has been around for years, but I still thank my mom this way sometimes.

The singing Coke sharing woman annoys me because I keep expecting her to break into, "I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony. I'd like to buy the world a coke and keep it company" when she keeps singing, "IIIII wish..." Ok, so for many years I thought the Coke lyrics were the real song (Shut up!). Also, she bugs me because I want there to be a reason for the sharing of the Cokes. I mean, I want the receivers lives to be improved somehow, but nothing happens to them. And then she acts goofy at the end.

My health teacher in high school actually showed us that "unofficially" just b/c it's funny and it's still so true. And it's actually effective; more people would relate to this and listen to it than a "superhero" voiceover handing out condoms to random couples.

Has anyone here ever checked out Japander? It's a site full of celebrity spots from Japanese commercials and most of them are pretty damn funny! And it's not like most of these people are so desperate for work that they have to resort to making these cheesy ads, so why the heck do they do it?!

Here's one that makes absolutely no sense - Brad Pitt & his ass

Money. CRAZY amounts of money. Like upwards of $2 million per 30-second spot. I read an article about the phenomenon several years ago in maybe US or People magazine...it talked about how unlike in America, in Japan it does not damage an American movie star's credibility to do commercials, but in fact raises your cachet--and how in the pre-Internet days (this article was ca. 1998), most Americans would not find out about it unless they went to Asia on business trips. I lost a bit of respect for Jodie Foster after hearing that she had done this. That site IS utterly hilarious, though.

Linabo, I hate to nitpick, but that commercial is French and damn effective.

Ha! I was thinking along those lines, too! *high five* Even more so than Schoolhouse Rock (Which I was thinking of, too, I'll admit). That song plagues me at the worst times. "And, But, & Or, they'll get you pretty far!"

Man, that Japander site is hilarious. Bruce Willis has done tons of commercials, the Eneos ones where he plays a sort ghostbuster/gas attendent are just plain weird.

eta: Ha! J-Blo has a couple and they are awful. "He's.a.man.....With.a.Key", she sounds like Shatner!

Wait, that's not an original song written for the ad? I've never heard any other version.

If it really was a rewrite, then kudos to Coke for burying the original song completely.


Yeah, but the idea that the baby then has to resort to physical violence just boggles my mind. Like I said, it's not the crotch-kick that bugs, because babies squirm and flail and do that accidentally, and I could write it off as dad getting what he deserves. But the head-butt just makes the baby seem evil and mean.

Sorry, just going by what I was told, that it was from Germany. I just figured it was multilingual for a reason, seen as that's common in Europe (I know it's in French). Actually, I just looked it up, though, and it's Belgian, which makes a bit more sense.

I'm glad the condom temper-tantrum kid doesn't show here, though, because my dog barked at the kid when he started screaming.

I just saw a new Dominos ad that I really hated. There is a kid standing outside spraying people that happen by with a waterhose and the parents are inside watching from the window.

1. What does that have to with pizza? And,
2. Why doesn't that kid get a beating and sent to his room?

I hate this ad. Haaaaate. The kid does not deserve a nice afternoon playing baseball, he deserves to be grounded for a week. And I don't know why the parents think baseball is going to be the magic cure for his brattiness. What about discipline, dipwads?

Ooh, word on the Domino's ad hate. Other things that baffle: there are two versions of the voiceover, one where the dad is going to play baseball, the other where he's going teach his son to play baseball. Huh? Also, the last thing anyone should do is give a budding sociopath a bat. Most disturbing of all, the beginning of the voiceover refers to the family having "kids", plural. Are the others locked and/or cowering in the basement?

The only thing I'm clear on from the ad: Domino's pizza and cheesy dots are what bad parents serve their unruly brats for dinner.

LinaBo, thanks for clearing that up. I am thinking about that commercial as I type this because my next door neighbors' kids are screaming as if they're possessed by the devil. I hate apartment living!!!

I worship condoms!

I have to admit I laughed out loud at the "I'm pure" Madonna ads on that site.

Eww! Well now I can't eat Cadbury Eggs again. What else are you TWoPers gonna ruin for me?

If your snot looks like the inside of a Cadbury egg, I urge you to seek medical help immediately.

Moving on...

Gourmayo, anyone? I was so stunned I only took in the last few seconds of the ad, but it seems to be for flavored mayonnaise, in this case, horse radish mayonnaise. A guy holds out a spoon of the stuff and a woman tastes it, then won't let go of the spoon, and ends up biting off the bowl of the spoon, if that helps anyone identify the ad. Gourmayo...Guess that dijon ketchup is on the way.

The Dairy Queen commercial got me angry and full of hatred. Is it supposed to be cute that the baby can kick the dude in the crotch and head-butt him? I don't find that funny. I just don't find kids funny, so maybe that's it.

Have yet to see the ad, but this product is NO good.... I bought the chipotle mayo because I've been making my own for a while now. I think it's the mayonnaise they use (I use Hellman's exclusively), but it tastes sort of rancid. Lucky for me, I used a coupon.....

The clothes make them feel young. The Botox would do that, too, but eh.

Heinz is making "Kickers," a flavored line of ketchups available in "Zesty Garlic, Hot & Spicy and Smokey Mesquite."

I just hate the Gourmayo ads because, I hate mayo. An emulsion of eggs and oil. Ew!

I've tried the Heinz Kickers Smoky Mesquite. I liked it more than regular ketchup. But I don't see why one couldn't just buy barbecue sauce.

Actually, Kickers have been around for about a year or so. The hot and spicy kind is actually quite good on burgers and fries and the like - and I HATE ketchup. This is the only kind I'll eat.

Because Tabasco sauce makes everything better, y'all.

And that's pretty much all the Gourmayo ones are as well. I looked at a bottle of the "Wasabi" flavored one.

Neither Wasabi nor Horseradish was on the ingredients list. Damn it, if some thing says it is Wasabi I expect it to have enough horseradish to rank above "natural flavors" in the ingredients.

Mmmm Wasabi. Need to make some sushi soon.

Whatever it is, it's the most brilliant commercial I've EVER seen. Simple, effective, and absolutely spot-on. I would totally buy the product even if it's total crap, just to reward that kind of genius.

TheCustomOfLife, I actually like kids, and I still hate that head-butting baby. It's the head butt that totally pisses me off.



This commercial was for White Castle, and I didn't even find it funny the first time. I find that guy to be so obnoxious. Asshole.

On that note, most teens don't even know that is Joan Collins. If it weren't for the Dynasty repeats being shown on SoapNet, I wouldn't even know who she was. As for Morgan Fairchild, what's the deal with her? The only thing I've ever seen her do is the Old Navy commercials.

Adding onto the Dairy Queen hate, the double "OOOOOHHHH!" sound the guy makes after being kicked in the crotch that's obviously been looped is annoying as hell.

And I hate the stupid "Networking between friends" ads HBO puts before every Sopranos episode now. They should've waited when it would look somewhat like the people were there. As it stands, it tops the Nike Crossover Sportstars ads for worst CGI of the year.

Morgan Fairchild is one of those inexplicably famous people. She seems to be famous for being famous. Because, I can't think of anything she's "acted" in except the Old Navy ads.

I finally saw one of the lost dog ads. How do you just drive away from your dog? That ad makes me all kinds of angry.

Morgan Fairchild = Paris Hilton, 30 years from now?

Well, let's hope not, but if she remains in the limelight then I wouldn't doubt that that would be the natural progression... blech.

Anyway, I must express here and now my disgust for the Kokanee ad with the really oily, smarmy park ranger and the three 'hot chicks' trying out to protect the glacier. Bob, how I hate the stupid park ranger and his stupid voice.

LinaBo does the Kokanee commercial feature the same park ranger as before? I liked the old commercial where the park ranger dressed like a sasquatch finds the sasquatch dressed the ranger. I don't get to see BC beer commercials now that I am in Ontario.

I don't think so, inanna. I vaguely remember the commercial you're talking about, and I'm pretty sure that I would remember if this annoying f*ck was in it.

No, this guy has some heavy mustache/aviator-glasses/bomber-jacket/single-oldish-dude-with-distorted-perception-of-what-is-macho-and-cool thing going. He has a deep voice that just oozes skeeviness, as if he's imagining the women trying out for the job without their clothes on (clearly the skeeviness was intentional. Why, in the name of all that is holy and good in beer commercial, I have no idea). He even monopolizes the damn commercial... he gets more screentime that the girls! Who is this supposed to appeal to? I don't know of any woman who would like it, and I doubt that this is a character that guys can relate to, he's just that gross.

The ONLY thing I remember her from is one episode of Happy Days, and she looked exactly the same. I'm scared!

Are those the ones that are geared towards dipping, like for nuggets and stuff? Yeah, I'd rather stick with my bottle of BBQ sauce, thankyouverymuch.

Glad you guys enjoyed Japanader as much as I did! My favorite ones that aren't really funny are the ones with Ewan Mcgregor - they're pretty neat! But I gotta wonder, why on earth are a lot of these commercials in English and then subtitled? That's just weird.

Speaking of ads with park rangers -- each time I see the ad with the guy at Yellowstone sneaking out to "Old Faithful" to keep it "regular" with a secret shot of Metamucil, I become more unreasonably angry. I SERIOUSLY need stress management advice.



A friend who's been to Japan has told me that English is regarded as "cool", and a lot of products use English in the labeling, marketing, or just as graphics -- with varying degrees of accuracy.

Oh, my. In the Chipotle version of the Gourmayo ads, a woman licks mayo off a man's face. This can only mean... Mayo licking is the new raised by wolves. Augh.

Yep, anything English is considered cool in Japan. Just the very presence of English, irregardless of grammer or spelling. They will just throw together words that may not make any sense to an actual English speaker, commonly referred to as engrish. Good for a laugh though.

Has anyone else seen the new Reebok commercial that looks like an old episode of Starsky & Hutch? Pretty funny but I couldn't figure out what they were selling until they showed the Reebok logo at the end.