ubi
Apr 2, 2004 @ 10:34 am
I swear to God, I saw Matthew Lesko driving around D.C. once when I went home to visit my parents. Who else would be driving around in a van covered in question marks? He's very commited to the motif, I have to give him that. I wonder if he lives in the van too... down by the Potomac River...
Reminds me of a local Angry Left ™ hippy who leaves his white panel truck labelled "The Quintessential Peacemobile, AKA, The Quintessential Impeachmobile" with all sorts of crazy newspaper-like articles covering it in various shopping center parking lots around town.
On topic? I saw the Burger King ad in which the woman licks the mayo off her co-worker's mouth. So inappropriate on so many levels...
jennifuh
Apr 2, 2004 @ 10:58 am
But the one with the Singing Lady handing out Coke isn't assholy at all. I love that lady with her Bottomless Purse of Coke!
I love her, too, but I don't love that she grabs the capless bottles by the top, so she's touching the part you drink from. Eeew. Lady, I like your singing but I'll pass on your Coke, thanks.
By the way, where can I get one of those Bottomless Purses of Coke?
meknownothing
Apr 2, 2004 @ 11:08 am
I'm trying to remember this one and failing. It's one of those commercials that, at the start, you can't tell at all what's being sold. The situation is a driving class? Or a test drive at a car dealer? And, at the end, we see the Michelin Man seated at the wheel of a car, acting sheepish. A little help?
Tornado25
Apr 2, 2004 @ 12:11 pm
It's a Michelin commercial. It's advertising Pilot Sports (or maybe Pilot A/S, I can't recall exactly) and notes they were developed with Formula 1 technology. (From what I gathered, the tires of course, are different, but the composition is supposed to be similiar to a F1 tire).
Michelin Man is testing the tires at a track and when the guy running the test calls it a day, MM floors it 'cause he's having a good time.
cinemagotham
Apr 2, 2004 @ 12:19 pm
I would like to hear Dylan's explanation for that ad. Back when it was just the song you could tell yourself that the record company had a strong hand in it but now that he "appears" in the ad it's undeniable: He's a horrible sell-out whore. Such sick irony. Hey Bob, how does it feel?
ladyDonna
Apr 2, 2004 @ 12:22 pm
Also, hate to the Dairy Queen (?) ad where the dad gets an ice cream snack and then kind of taunts the baby strapped to his chest about it. The baby then uses his CGI powers to kick dad in the nuts. That's not so bad, since it almost plays like it's an accident that could totally happen, and dad's getting a karmic payback. But then the horribly-CGIed reverse-headbutt from the baby is just dumb, and mean. And illogical. I can't stop thinking about the fact that babies have soft skulls.
First time I saw that commercial, I thought the dad was taunting the baby also. But on subsequent viewings it seemed more like the dad was just trying to keep the baby from grabbing the ice cream. Which babies are very likely to do whenever a parent's got anything that looks interesting. The version of the commercial I'd been seeing didn't include the headbutt, for which thank goodness.
IMHO babies that young shouldn't be having ice cream, especially Blizzards with big chunks of stuff. But honestly you can hardly eat anything with a grabby baby strapped to your chest. So I guess it was karmic payback for the dad being stupid enough to think he could get a snack with baby in the front.
Yeah, I'm over-analyzing. Most commercials with babies and cats drive me nuts, though. I can't help but feel that babies and cats are cute enough without stupid CGI tricks.
Max Power
Apr 2, 2004 @ 12:25 pm
Matthew Lesko lives in my parents' neighborhood in Kensington, MD (a suburb about 15 minutes outside of Washington). I haven't seen him sporting the Riddler suit, but he does drive around in a VW Beetle covered in question marks. He's definitely livin' the dream.
FfrauleinN
Apr 2, 2004 @ 12:35 pm
Matt Lesko's Beetle reminds me of the new VW commercial. It's the same car dealer who was driving that woman and Cereal Boy around, only now the driver is a black man. The dealer is pointing out the smooth suspension as they go over potholes and whatnot: "Did you feel that? No? Exactly." Eh, bring back screaming Cereal Boy.
Sleestak Hunter
Apr 2, 2004 @ 12:36 pm
I would like to hear Dylan's explanation for that ad. Back when it was just the song you could tell yourself that the record company had a strong hand in it but now that he "appears" in the ad it's undeniable: He's a horrible sell-out whore. Such sick irony. Hey Bob, how does it feel?cinemagotham
It's a wicked life but what the hell, everybody's got to eat. And I'm just the same as anyone else, when it comes to scratching for my meals. (
Bob Dylan, Goin' to Acapulco outtake, 1967)
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Sikamikanico
Apr 2, 2004 @ 12:37 pm
Ah, but see- it's a tag team match. Both bears would be on the same team. Against the Spongemonkeys.
But, a good ol' fashioned bear-fight would be cool, too (I would have to bet on the S'mores Bear. He seems to be more of a bad-ass).
In a tag team match with the Labatt/S'mores bears against the spongemonkeys, spongemonkeys win all the way. First of all the Labatt bear is probably always sucking down that beer and do you remember that episode of the Drew Carrey Show where they were playing beer ball and after a few rounds everyone was so shit-faced they couldn't even run in a straight line? Yeah, exactly. The S'mores bear looks like he's won a few fights in his time but he's no match for the spongemonkeys. Why? Look at 'em! All they have to do is have one hypnotize you with his weird, amorphous eyes and while you're stationary have the other one go for your jugular. Crazy beats strong anyday.
Hee, Matthew Lesko. I haven't seen him in a long time. Damn, I just jinxed myself. You know what I wonder when I see stuff like that? (I mean, other than, who the hell let him out?) Where does he get that suit? No, really. Where does one procure a suit like that? Do you buy an acid green suit and then get someone to attach the question marks? If so, where would you buy an acid green suit? Or does it just come like that, all Riddler motif-ed up? And who did the van up to match like that?
Ha!! You know, everytime I think about Matthew Lesko I remember that sketch on the Andy Dick show where Andy Dick was playing him (and perfectly, I might add). Heh, good times.
cinemagotham
Apr 2, 2004 @ 12:40 pm
It's a wicked life but what the hell, everybody's got to eat. And I'm just the same as anyone else, when it comes to scratching for my meals. (Bob Dylan, Goin' to Acapulco outtake, 1967)
SleestackExcellent quote but I don't think Bob's starving (all appearances to the contrary). The commercial is a sad showing.
Sleestak Hunter
Apr 2, 2004 @ 12:46 pm
Excellent quote but I don't think Bob's starving (all appearances to the contrary). The commercial is a sad showing.
Oh, I agree. I just thought the quote
might be an indication of HIS mindset. Hard to say. Sure, he's a rich guy compared to me. But, maybe he'd like to be richer? Let's face it, there always seems to be somebody in this world who has more money than somebody else (except
maybe Bill Gates).
Maybe it's not the money- but the attempt to keep his 'name' alive and/or to scare up some new fans. Maybe he lost a bet. Maybe he gets free underwear in exchange. Whatever the reason- a poor choice on his (or his managers) part to have him appear in the commercial.
TraceyBee
Apr 2, 2004 @ 1:06 pm
Maybe he gets free underwear in exchange.
EWWWWW! The image of Bob Dylan wearing Vicky's Secret underwear is now embedded in my brain! EW-EW-EW!
I saw the Steven Segal commercial recently, too. At first I thought it was someone else with a bad makeup job playing him. Man, he's not looking too good these days. Has he been ill, and taking steroids or something that are puffing up his face?
ChinkyGirl
Apr 2, 2004 @ 2:01 pm
Hee, Matthew Lesko. I haven't seen him in a long time. Damn, I just jinxed myself. You know what I wonder when I see stuff like that? (I mean, other than, who the hell let him out?) Where does he get that suit? No, really. Where does one procure a suit like that? Do you buy an acid green suit and then get someone to attach the question marks? If so, where would you buy an acid green suit? Or does it just come like that, all Riddler motif-ed up? And who did the van up to match like that?
I betcha Matthew Lesko found a way for the government to pay for all of those things (Riddler outfit and VW). Also, he probably got the government to publish his crap book.
I want these freebies too, gosh darnit. Tell me more, Lesko!!!
I love her, too, but I don't love that she grabs the capless bottles by the top, so she's touching the part you drink from. Eeew. Lady, I like your singing but I'll pass on your Coke, thanks.
Hee! Totally reminds me of a friend's story about this lady who stands by a particular bus stop here in Queens and hands out free hot cocoa from a huge dispenser. My friend asked her why, and she said she just wants to "give back to the community." Uh, yeah.
jennifuh
Apr 2, 2004 @ 2:26 pm
My friend asked her why, and she said she just wants to "give back to the community."
"And send you all to HELL!"
Topic? Um... the hot guy in the Gap commercial is still hot. Discuss.
FfrauleinN
Apr 2, 2004 @ 4:00 pm
I don't love or hate Gap guy, but I like him in khakis more than in jeans. The editing is way better; you can tell he just wears the pants a lot 'cause he likes them so much. It looked like he was wearing the same funky skanky jeans day after day without bathing.
Maybe it's not the money- but the attempt to keep his 'name' alive and/or to scare up some new fans.
"Scare" is the right word.
Poodle Hat
Apr 2, 2004 @ 4:08 pm
I would like to hear Dylan's explanation for that ad. Back when it was just the song you could tell yourself that the record company had a strong hand in it but now that he "appears" in the ad it's undeniable: He's a horrible sell-out whore. Such sick irony. Hey Bob, how does it feel?
I don't understand that at all. Musicians have one product to sell. Music. How is it different selling a song on an album from selling your song to a company for advertising purposes? He's not killing anyone or doing anything immoral.
Topic? Speaking of bears, I haven't seen the newest (though it's been out for a while) Charmin ad with the cartoon bear discussed yet. Bear Jr. grabs a huge wad of Charmin and says he's really going to need it all. Bear Sr. stops him "Hold on, little fella!" Says he isn't going to need that much TP. Just grosses me out no end.
thinkcwik
Apr 2, 2004 @ 4:26 pm
I saw the Steven Segal commercial recently, too.
Same here. I just saw Steven Segal and not the entire commercial, so I only noted his puffy orange face, swollen eyes, and after a quick "WTF?" it was over. Did he get an organ transplant? He has apparently taken so many steroids (and self tanning products) that his face looks like a basketball. I was waiting for a trainer to come in and cut his eyes so he could see.
Shelwood
Apr 2, 2004 @ 5:19 pm
After moving beyond the ew-yuck-blech factor of the Dylan-in-VS-ad experience (and that is one big damn factor), I'm left wondering what the hell Victoria's Secret was thinking. I can understand the appeal of Dylan's music, but who the hell are they selling to by putting video of Bob in the ad? AARP boomer men shopping for their trophy wives? That seems like an awfully narrow market. I guess the problem I see is that the original ad, with just the women in skimpy clothes and music playing, allowed the viewer to just view and react as an individual. Now, we get Bob Dylan as proxy for the viewer and, ew. Unnecessarily specific, not to mention creepy.
Mangetical Anji
Apr 2, 2004 @ 5:23 pm
Actually, the Bob Dylan/VS commercial (I originally typed "VD"...subliminal much?) has been around for a few months. I remember seeing it at home in August, just before I left for college. I remember this clearly because I was speaking to my girlfriend at the time and happened to be a Dylan fan. I went, "Uh...are you watching Channel 2?" And she went, "YES OH MY GOD WHAT IN THE HELL?!" I was like, "So, that is Bob Dylan?" We then agreed that it was incredibly, incredibly wrong...and then went off to wash out our ears. That is, pertaining to the original ad, with just his music. Even just the music was wrong...
katymo
Apr 2, 2004 @ 6:30 pm
It really doesn' help that Dylan has the worst voice ever and has to be one of the ugliest musicians ever as well. He's creepy, and this just makes him creepier.
moppet
Apr 2, 2004 @ 8:14 pm
I don't understand that at all. Musicians have one product to sell. Music. How is it different selling a song on an album from selling your song to a company for advertising purposes? He's not killing anyone or doing anything immoral.
There was a time -- and Bob Dylan was a part of this time -- when people thought their music would change the world. Peace songs, rally songs, fight songs, stop-the-war-and-injustice-songs....of course, those musicians needed to eat, too, but at the time you really got the impression that it was just. about. the music.
Nowadays, we know of course that making music is like factory work. "We need a new widget for Boy Band X!" But Bob Dylan is a reminder of a time when the business wasn't like that...at least it wasn't so profoundly in our faces...and it's sad to see him selling to Vicki's Secret.
Also, he's not the guy I want to see lurking around my lacy things.
aurora
Apr 2, 2004 @ 8:21 pm
I've seen a new commercial with the Six Flags Creepy Bus Grandpa twice today. This time he's dancing outside a school(?).
jcpdiesel21
Apr 2, 2004 @ 9:18 pm
I don't get Bob Dylan in the Victoria's Secret ad, either. What's odd about it is the way it's done. Shot of model, shot of Bob. Shot of model, closer-up shot of Bob. WTF? It doesn't fit. What is it trying to say?
I've seen a new commercial with the Six Flags Creepy Bus Grandpa twice today. This time he's dancing outside a school(?).
Oh, dear god, he's going for the children.
Daisy Duke
Apr 2, 2004 @ 9:31 pm
I saw the Steven Segal commercial recently, too. At first I thought it was someone else with a bad makeup job playing him. Man, he's not looking too good these days. Has he been ill, and taking steroids or something that are puffing up his face?
I think he's just getting old and heavy. Aikidio is not cardio, you know, and they're not encouraged to be real thin like a kickboxer (or the funky-looking but non-aging Chuck Norris) anyway.
This means Van Damme is going to make a commercial, though, and for that, someone must pay.
rincie
Apr 2, 2004 @ 10:26 pm
Glade Car Scents.
Stupid commercial. Even dumber name, because it sounds misleading -- I always think it's gonna smell like a new car.
The creepy pee wee football kid is just...agh!
ajra
Apr 2, 2004 @ 11:42 pm
Eclipse mints: As if the 'speaking too close for my comfort' scientists weren't enough, now they have a courtroom commercial. One could presume there was unresolved sexual tension between the two scientists, but the lawyer and client? Ew.
(To clarify - I wouldn't have a problem with them being gay, you know, *if* they were going for the URST factor (which I don't think they are). It's just that the two actors in the commercial creep me out. Especially the way the one blows his breath in the other's face.)
Nflux Forever
Apr 3, 2004 @ 12:03 am
Anyone know that one Pringles ad with the guy and the two girls on a raft and they are shifting their weight to move the Pringles can around. They just started airing it again. While I watched it, I always got a vibe like this was the set-up for a porno scene. Did anyone else get that feeling?
screamapiller
Apr 3, 2004 @ 12:09 am
I think he's just getting old and heavy. Aikidio is not cardio, you know, and they're not encouraged to be real thin like a kickboxer (or the funky-looking but non-aging Chuck Norris) anyway.
It looks to me like Steven Seagal needs to buy one of those Total Gyms that Chuck Norris endorses!
New (to me) commercial that I'm hearting? Stephon Marbury for Opitimum Cable/Online, having a tea party with all the little old ladies that are his new neighbors....
"It's my granddaughter who lives in Vancouver - she's really cute.... don't put your feet on the furniture, dear." Hee!
"More tea ladies?" Double Hee!
Isaboe
Apr 3, 2004 @ 12:20 am
New Tampax commercial. "Survivor" ladies on an island using all their tampons to spell out on the sand "Send more Tampax". Forget food or water or Hey! How about being rescued! Nope, more tampons. Say, if they unwrapped them all and tied them together, they might make a raft of some sort. At least till they got too waterlogged and sank. I've thought about this too much.
puckish
Apr 3, 2004 @ 12:50 am
Perhaps if they hadn't used up all their tampons to spell idiotic messages out on the beach, they wouldn't require more Tampax.
Tabbyclaw
Apr 3, 2004 @ 2:01 am
They could use their tampon lassos to rope a couple sea turtles and lash them together as a raft.
healing fish
Apr 3, 2004 @ 2:12 am
Why are women in tampon commercials always such twits anyway?
Poodle Hat
Apr 3, 2004 @ 3:03 am
There was a time -- and Bob Dylan was a part of this time -- when people thought their music would change the world. Peace songs, rally songs, fight songs, stop-the-war-and-injustice-songs....of course, those musicians needed to eat, too, but at the time you really got the impression that it was just. about. the music.
And yet, such music was actually bought and sold. As I said, I don't get it, and I don't think Dylan is that creepy. But I'll return you to your regularly scheduled topic now.
Mangetical Anji
Apr 3, 2004 @ 3:08 am
Why are women in tampon commercials always such twits anyway?
Because when you pull the tampon string, your brains come out with it. Or, so think the ad execs, apparently.
cronox5
Apr 3, 2004 @ 3:14 am
Because when you pull the tampon string, your brains come out with it. Or, so think the ad execs, apparently.
sounds like a good movie!
"Invasion of the Glittery Hoo-Hoo Brain Snatchers"
Mangetical Anji
Apr 3, 2004 @ 3:16 am
Would the Glittery Hoo-Hoo Brain Snatcher be in the form of an otherworldly Hoover?
vegasusa555
Apr 3, 2004 @ 4:10 am
I just wanted to pop in and say that I hate looking at Bob Dylan because he looks like Vincent Price!!! That man scared the shit out of me when I was little! Oh yeah, and his voice is pure uncut crap.
That is all.
cal331
Apr 3, 2004 @ 12:08 pm
Dane, I'm in Toledo and we have Roni Deutsch commercials. I think she's nationwide, because they are actually on the program feed of various syndicated shows (Judge-type programs, for example) so wherever those shows air, the Roni spots can be found.
Perhaps if they hadn't used up all their tampons to spell idiotic messages out on the beach, they wouldn't require more Tampax.
Maybe the Raging Menstrual Tribe were just using the applicators to make the message?
Get the Despair.com calendar! It has twelve mini-posters and lots of hilarious detail along with the dates.
wdejesus79
Apr 3, 2004 @ 12:50 pm
Eclipse mints: As if the 'speaking too close for my comfort' scientists weren't enough, now they have a courtroom commercial. One could presume there was unresolved sexual tension between the two scientists, but the lawyer and client? Ew.
Yes, this commercial is really creepy.
Most commercials with babies and cats drive me nuts, though. I can't help but feel that babies and cats are cute enough without stupid CGI tricks.
I think that's what pisses me off the most in that commercial. Those damn CGI tricks. I think it would've been cuter if the baby just kept grabbing at the ice cream, maybe while the dad closes his eyes in bliss of eating Dairy Queen. Of course this would require a different set up (maybe dad sitting next to baby and baby in a high chair? I don't know.)
HATE when CGI is used in stupid, pointless ways.
Freshly Ground Coffee
Apr 3, 2004 @ 1:19 pm
Roni Deutsch commercials scare the bejeezus out of my hubby.
He's all "Here's $20.00 and stop pointing at me!"
Puds38
Apr 3, 2004 @ 1:50 pm
I've seen a new commercial with the Six Flags Creepy Bus Grandpa twice today. This time he's dancing outside a school(?).
Yes I've seen it. I fear we may be tortured with the antics of the creepy bus guy all summer.
moppet
Apr 3, 2004 @ 3:10 pm
I thought the "Office Max Rubber Band Man" commercial was long gone, but I've already seen it twice, just today. In two "long-playing" versions, no less (or at least longer than I remember the commercial being before.) I love office supplies, so I think that guy is great. I love the way he stocks up on Band-Aids for the guy using the paper cutter.
Cress
Apr 3, 2004 @ 3:12 pm
Have you guys seen the Eclipse mint commercial where it's two espionage agents trying to break into enemy headquarters? (Or maybe they're trying to escape. I can't tell.) The male agent and the female agent meet up next to a wall, and instead of discussing their plan of action, they stand there and discuss the fact that she recently drank a bunch of coffee, and he sniffs her breath and can't smell it, because she just had a mint. It's "breath-defying". What a weird campaign.
ETA: "breath-dying" is not the same as "breath-defying". Thanks for the correction, Ilikegrayarrows.
microkim
Apr 3, 2004 @ 3:13 pm
StephenTrendy: Commercial I hate more than ever: Any commercial about McDonald's white-meat-chicken-mcnugget Agenda. I hate being inundated with crap about the white meat. I can't taste the difference, so why make it a selling point?
You know what's even more disturbing ... on the ginormous banners and such that are touting the new nuggets, the chicken part is in quotation marks. It says, "New White Meat 'Chicken McNuggets'". Ack! Does that mean it's kind-of sort-of chicken? Or not really chicken?
ajra: I believe it is the same woman. Can she please be in a bra commercial next? She's gonna put someone's eye out.
Oh, the horror! I'm picturing her in a Victoria's Secret commercial (with or without Bob Dylan) wearing about a size 34A. You know, because they always wear the correct sizes in those commercials and that's why they mush out all over the place.
Cleo256: I assume they're celebrating not the erection, but the sex they've just had. So presumably, there's an entire neighborhood of women they've all left behind in their beds so the guys can all celebrate. Real sensitive, guys, leaving right afterward to go celebrate with friends.
Kind of like the old guy with high blood pressure version of the high school locker room?
glstx, the fact that someone makes their living being Parrot Top makes me very, very sad.
BlackCorduroy: And lately, I've been seeing a BK ad where the woman licks mayo off the guy's mouth.
Ewwww, I hate that commercial! First of all, globs of mayonnaise gross me out. Second of all, you do not lick someone's face! Not ever! Never ever! Ewww. I do like the bun comment at the end, though. Hee.
Ilikegrayarrows
Apr 3, 2004 @ 3:44 pm
It's "breath-dying"
I believe it's "breath-defying," if that makes more sense.
Shem the Penman
Apr 3, 2004 @ 4:32 pm
I betcha Matthew Lesko found a way for the government to pay for all of those things (Riddler outfit and VW). Also, he probably got the government to publish his crap book.
I want these freebies too, gosh darnit. Tell me more, Lesko!!!
All the material on government grants and such that Lesko peddles is available free from the government itself. He just gathers it together, slaps a cover on it, and sells it to suckers. Nice work if you can get it...
Jumpin
Apr 3, 2004 @ 7:58 pm
HA! I just saw the Bob Dylan VS commercial. I thought it was hilarious, because it's so short and nonsensical. That bitch stole my hat!
Plus, it features that annoying girl from the catalog who usually looks all pouty and rude.
Good times.
sugarfreekelli
Apr 3, 2004 @ 8:09 pm
I don't know if this has been mentioned before, but the AT&T "&" ("And") commerical makes me roll my eyes. "Nothing keeps a conversation going like &!" Yeah, guys. That's 'cause it's a conjunction. Sheesh.
Anyway, I hate the commercial. I can't believe that someone actually pitched the idea and actually had it approved. I mean, a whole marketing campaign based on the fact that "&" can miraculously keep a conversation going? Does the fact that this pisses me off officially make me a bitter english major?
FlowingSmooth
Apr 3, 2004 @ 8:09 pm
I heard that Six Flags' Scary Old Dancing Guy is actually old and that he was interviewed on Letterman. Is this true?
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