Actually, the NCAA itself doesn't get rich, about 90% of the association's the revenues are funneled back into the member institutions. I used to run the athletic fundraising program at a Division III school, so I got to see the annual NCAA budgets. But I digress (what can I say, as a former Div I athlete who never got to be on TV because I was throwing a javelin, I identify with the kids portrayed in these commericals...)

you're thinking of Swoops, meknkownothing, which look like Pringles but are made of chocolate (and taste like crap). Viactiv look more like caramels (in shape/size/consistency), but are "calcium supplements" - why not just put extra calcium in a Hershey Bar, eh?

Because that would make the people who take it (in this case, the target market is women) too fat.[/sarcasm] Putting them in little squares makes one feel less self-conscious about it. Plus, it's calcium! More calcium in a candy bar would be like...more milk.

It's for ESPN Major League Baseball. Sega easily came up with the best idea for their commercials with the hiring of Tracey Morgan. It a shame the games just aren't selling well (Theyre Apple to EA's Microsoft.)

Hey, if Kellogg's can make Pop-Tarts a good source of calcium, then why can't Hershey's make their chocolate bars a good source of calcium?

I finally saw the Ron Jeremy commercial last night, and I just wanted to douse myself in bleach afterwards.

Yes, I couldn't stand the original song they ruined, IIRC, it came out between 1992-1994 ("Tag Team:"Whoomp, there it is!" ) (And, I remember, there was also a "Whoot, there it is" , some variation on said theme. It was the "Who let the dogs out?" of its time.)
But that's always something that makes me sad, when they take good songs and ruin them for commercials. What's next? Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb", for Oxycontin? (That stuff isn't selling at all. Nobody talks about it, or seems to ask for it. )[/sarcasm]
Maybe smart-aleck bands like Ween have the right idea, and just write the damn song so they can sell it, and not have it ruined.

Ween actually wrote a "Zoloft" song. Short excerpt:
That Spongmonkey cartoon is great.
But I won't be happy until I hear somebody on a comedy show say "Glittery Hoo-Hoo".

Saw an ad yesterday for the Sony Visa card. Why in the hell does Sony need a Visa card anyway? The guy puts the card up to his eye and looks through it into the world of the future. Or as they say on Futurama, The Wooooorld of Tomorrow! He looks at the street and sees aircars swooping around, and it's totally an entire clip from the Fifth Element. Presumably a Sony Pictures property. He looks at a dog and it's an Aibo. The synergy makes me want to gag.

I saw this ad yesterday too, and I thought it was cool for about a second. There was way too much synergy. Although I have wanted and still want my own Aibo.

Let's not forget the icing on the cake of the Sony Visa Card is that the voice over guy is Matt Gallant. It makes my head hurt.

Is it weird that I want those green pajamas with bacon and eggs printed on them that the annoying Glad Bag lady has on in a commercial?

So, it wasn't just my imagination. Anna Holbrook is pimping some sort of allergy medication, but I just don't remember which one. I knew that lady looked familiar. Yes, she still looks old.

What's odd is she looks old, but looks the same as she did when I still watched AW--which was probably 15 years ago, maybe.

jennifuh! I used to love those commercials for the Furniture Store:

Itasca, Itasca,
It rhymes with Alaska
But The Furniture Store's not in Alaska,
It's in Itasca!

We used to just hear them on the radio, but the TV spots sound hilarious. Oh, Chicagoland. The birthplace of so very many crappy local commercials. I'm totally homesick now. The ones down in Springfield just aren't the same.

Have you guys seen that beer commercial where there is a guy in a shitty car who stops to ask a girl who is standing out in the rain if she wants a ride, she says yes and when she tries to open the door of his car, it falls off. Then the VO is like "Smooth, but not rich." And then it shows a guy in some fancy Back-to-the-Future-ish Delorian car stopping to ask a girl standing out in the rain if she wants a ride and she says yes so he opens the gull wing door of his car and it like smacks her in the face and the VO goes "Rich, but not smooth."

What the fuck?? What girl in her right mind would accept a ride from some strange dude on the street?! That was all I could think about as I watched this commercial. I know it isn't real but it is such a distractingly stupid premise! If you are walking along the street and some guy drives up next to you and tries to get you to get into his car, the issue is more whether he's "a rapist, but not a murderer/a murderer, but not a rapist" than any rich/smooth bullshit.

Also, the commercial for that new not-FDA-approved medicine that is supposed to combat fatigue is simultaneously intriguing and repulsing me. Have you guys seen it? The name of the "medicine" starts with an A but I'm blanking on what it is. They did a pretty good job making it seem like a commercial for a legit, FDA-approved drug, unlike the chintzy Leptoprin ad and others like that, but that is totally more insidious. What kind of weird speed do you think this stuff is? I guess I could get a free sample and find out. But I don't really feel like dying.

AlissaBeth, I believe it's Altovis. I only remember because I saw it about 1000 times last night in the space of 3 hours. I caught on pretty quickly that it was a supplement and not a drug--but you're right, it's a nicely done ad. There is a very similiar "looking" ad for a memory supplement that I assume is produced by the same people. I think it's Ravassin or something like that. 28 day free samples!

I quickly tiring of the idiotic Verizon "I'm In" ads. At least the latest one has the The Donald and I think it's pretty funny. The thing I can't stand about the stupid ads is the whole premise that you can now call other Verizon customers without different rates for time periods, long distance, etc. For Christ's sake, this is a problem they brought on themselves by making nights start at 9pm--who the fuck thought that would be a good idea? Now Sprint prances around like it's God gift to cell users because their night rates start at the beginning of well, night. "You minute-hoarding clock-watcher". Hee!

And what is up with these Budget ads. You know, daughter with dad visiting all these colleges, the guys at the presentation without the presentation, getting married in Vegas. I mean I guess the premise is since you got such a great rate, you'll go anywhere and do anything since renting a car's not expensive. But, if you're dad and just want to road trip, why not use your own car instead of paying $149/week for a Cavalier? What the hell am I missing here?

Thanks, Unlucky Bear! I thought I was the only one assaulted by the scary guy with the human body and cartoon head!



I've only seen the college ones. You'd think they'd put commercials like these in heavier rotation, so you can make the connections. Like the lost dog ads. I haven't seen any Budget commercials - or I've mentally blocked them out - in a long time.

Hmm. I've seen all 3 within the last few days. The thing is, to me, they don't have a connection. I can actually see the college one--dad just likes driving all over and with a cheap rate, can tell daughter he took her on a bunch of visits. But, what does not doing your job correctly have to do with a cheap rental car. Where's FfrauleinN when over-analysis of an ad is needed? I don't feel qualified, but it seems like I'm giving an unhealthy amount of attention to this!

Tornado25, the "in-minutes" are nothing new. They used to be called Mobile-to-mobile minutes. Verizon's had this going for quite a white, but they're trying to play like it's a new idea.

This commercial makes me nuts. Because of this commercial, I will NEVER buy furniture in Itasca!

Aw, thanks for thinking of me. I haven't seen these ads; when do they tend to air? (Now I'm sure I'll see it eighteen times tonight and my poor brain will explode.)

Thanks. I didn't know he'd had a prominent TV role before. (I don't have HBO.)


That's the one! Thanks again, Tornado25. I think she's also in one of the latest damn Prilosec OTC ads (the ones with the annoying "couple" driving around the country in the purple bus).


Amen! I hate that commercial. I keep yelling at the TV, "Why don't you let your husband take the time to enjoy the simple things in life, hag?!" It's not even that the husband doesn't know what to do with these things--he just enjoys looking at them!


Hee, I love that commercial. I own that Shania Twain CD and I'm not ashamed to admit it! (OK, I am a little.) On the other hand, I just love the despairing look on the face of the white guy sitting next to him.


I thought she was saying, "What's up, Miami?" or "Heads up, Miami!" Then again I don't pay much attention. I have to say, I think it's one of Old Navy's least annoying ads I can think of (which isn't saying much).

Amen to the "Swoops" hate. I hated the original song to begin with, and I feel very embarrassed on behalf of the poor actors in this commercial. I have to mute it immediately.

Another commercial I see about a dozen times a night and have to mute immediately is the newest Jack-In-The-Box commercials, in which Jack is brainstorming with his employees about how to advertise their new, bigger chicken strips made of breast meat. He starts babbling "bigger ... breasts ... plump ... breasts ..." etc., and his male employees start giggling, and eventually he hushes them up. I just hate the hypocrisy of the commercial. They're trying to get giggles out of the whole "big breasts" thing while simultaneously claiming to be above that sort of thing. Ugh.

I do love the expression on the woman in that Jack in the Box commercial. She's probably thinking what juvenile boys she's working with, and it's not even worth it to get offended. I think I saw a few eyerolls from her too. That's the only thing that makes the commercial tolerable for me.

I didn't think they were claiming to be above it. I just thought they were trying to be self-deprecating.

But, if you can't see his teeth then he can't hurt you.

I figured as much, PlayItGeorge. To be honest, I like the idea of getting a "discount", so to speak, for calling within the same company. But there's just something about Verizon's ads, I want to say they're smarmy, almost.


I think you're right--I can't pinpoint them, but I've been seeing them a lot lately, after not having seen them for a long time. I think I saw one during Colin Quinn.


Word, Lingo. I thought the same thing immediately. For one thing, the song was over 3 weeks after it came out and they think now, 10 years later, it's a good idea. And two, how do you make yourself appear interested in this, as an actor? It's awful and I will never buy the product. It's a dumb idea, anyway. Just buy a candy bar! Does everything have to have a shape in a prepackaged container to be cool?! (Excuse me, I need chase some kids off my lawn).

Aw, Tornado, don't worry. Not only will I help you chase the kids off the lawn, I'll regale them with stories about how I used to walk uphill in the snow to school (which, I am sad to say, is actually true).

I am all about the Swoops hate. The only reason I ate them was because a friend's husband bought them to check out the packaging design (he's an "ad man", and likes this kind of stuff). They're disgusting. I'll stick to my Hershey Bar with Almonds, thankyouverymuch.

Good to know, because they look like crap. They look like they're about two inches thick and gooey as hell. Ew. It kills me when ads plugging food can't manage to make it look appetizing.

The problem for ME with the Swoops ad is with the song -- the summer it was released, there was a rash of instances where guys carried their horseplay too far at the public pools in NYC, and often would yank the bathing suits off girls and then jump around chanting that bit from the song. So to my mind this candy commercial is using the theme song for a series of gang molestations in its ads. Probably not the image they want to project.

But I could be reaching, too...

Anybody see the Chlorox bleach (i think) commercial with the guy jumping into the white sheets of his bed -- only to be freeze-framed while the VO talks about "body soil" and the bed is CGI'd into a mass of bubbling poo?

Freeze-framed guy looks aghast at being stuck over that, and I think I had the same expression being stuck watching it. Who thought talking about "body soil" would make their product attractive? Nasty.

I'm wondering how the hell they got in my apartment, and filmed that without my knowledge. I need to get paid, man!
Seriously, it's just gross and not selling the product to me.

I forgot about that.

The thing I'm worried about is I'm only 28! And I have walked uphill in snow, but only my driveway from where the bus dropped me off.

I saw this on SFGate's 'Daily Dish' gossip page and thought of this thread...

NORAH SAYS NO TO TV ADS
Norah Jones refuses to let TV commercials use her music to sell products, because she doesn't want to hear her tracks backing something like tampon ads. The singer has been inundated with offers from big companies who are desperate to use her hits in their ads.

She says, "I turn them all down. I remember Etta James' version of a Billie Holiday song called "Trust in Me" being used in a tampon ad when I was a kid and, ever since, when I hear that song I just think, tampons."

my perception of the Budget non-presentation ad is that the guy just wanted a reason to drive a Mustang. So, he told his company he had to go to wherever and make this presentation. When he gets back, he can just say they hated it and they didn't get the account. So, he got to drive the car for cheap and didn't have to do any work.

Not to mention the "Honey, you want me to be happy, don't you?" So utterly wrong.

Speaking of fast food, there's a late night commercial offering, I kid you not, a home defibrillator! I kid you not. A home defibrillator!

Yay!! The VH1 Kitty is back and he's brought some friends! He's brought Thor Kitty, a spongemonkey cousin and the spoonguard guy. If you have no clue what's being talked about go here. But I'm pretty sure you do.

I saw the ad with Sharlene in it again! It was for Claritin. It couldn't be said enough...OLD.

The sad thing is, I think Anna Holbrook is only in her early or mid forties...today. I read somewhere that she was only six years older than the first actress who played Josie, so they frumped her up a bit. Someone forgot to tell Miss Holbrook that the show ended five years ago. Or maybe this Claritin ad is an homage to Old!Sharlene. Who knows?

Yay! I just saw the new (to me anyway) Old Navy commercial, with Joan Collins, Morgan Fairchild & that dude from the Jeffersons (whose name escapes me right now) doing The Hustle! I love that song. (yeah, I'm corny.)

I like it so much better than the recent commercials they've had.

ETA:



That's what she says now. Wait 5-10 years when her records don't sell anymore (and I'm not saying she's bad and won't be selling, but the market's fickle like that), and she'll be singing a different tune. (No pun intended.)

I saw the "get up off your deathbed to shovel the snow" Nyquil ad yesterday, but I swear they changed it. She was being really nice at the start of it. It's like they read all the snark here...

I just saw a great Office Max ad today. Two guys scaling a mountainside... one of them offends the other, and they're about to go at it. They both throw off all of their equipment, and one of them lunges at the other -- freeze, and zoom out to show that this is the backstory of the two mountain climbers "helping each other" on one of those inspirational "Teamwork" posters that you see hanging up in your office.

Yay for the multi-racial Verizon ad!

Anyone seen this one? Wife of color, kids of mixed color, dad totally butt-white. And just to drive the point home, one of the hip mixed kids repeatedly calls the white guy "dad".

Yay for the evolution of commercials. I used to hate the Sloman's Shield commercials. Two versions: one all-white family, one all-black family. Same commercial. Same song, same camera angles, same commercial. One vanilla one chocolate. 'Cause God forbid integration hits the ad market.

So, as much as I hate Verizon as a company, me loves the new ad. Anyone else?

Wait, isn't that Norah singing "Crazy" in the Gain commercial? The one where the girlfriend leaves her "favorite dress" while she's gone for two weeks?

Or does that not count because she didn't write that song?

*shrug*

this week's sign of the apocalypse: the fact that Paris Hilton is more prominently featured in the commercials for her guest spot on The OC than any of the regular actors are (whoa, hold your horses, Mischa Barton, I said "actors". you stay in the background, thankyouverymuch.)

Poodle Hat, I don't want to jinx it, but I think you may be onto something. A while back I ranted about an ad I found disturbing. It's the one with the guy gazing at the baby in the nursery, and they try to fake you into thinking he's the dad, but he's really the "financial services advisor" (it's part of a series). In its original form, the guy says he doesn't know the baby's name. I posted that that was stalker-ish. The ad disappeared for a couple weeks, and when it returned, there was a scene tacked onto the end where the guy turns and asks the baby's dad what the name is. It's clear the dad scene was added, since he's not standing there in any of the earlier shots. Now, it could be that lots of other people were equally horrified, and maybe did something more useful than posting to TWoP -- you know, like, uh, calling, uh, someone. But I like to pretend it was me. Humor me.

Now, if an ad shows up using the phrase "glittery hoohoos", we'll know for sure that someone is watching us. And if that glittery hoohoo has a Hemi? The Commercial Thread rulz all, baby.

I noticed the naked people holding Virgin mobile phones in front of their crotches have been conspicuously absent since the infamous wardrobe malfunction. Along with the steamed up cars and other overly sexual pitches. I just saw their new ad. A guy is walking down a street and asking a Rabbi about things being kosher. "Fruit?" "Yes." Then he asks if it's ok for cell phone companies to charge an extra 10 bucks. No, that's not kosher. The hell? How exactly did they go from 'sexy people use our phones' to getting Rabbinical approval. Will I find a little 'U' on them from now on?

anyone seen the "Fanta" commercials? Its 5 women doing some kind of spice girls dance, with probably the worst commercial song ever made. I would explain more, but that would require remembering the commercial, and I don't want to put myself through the pain. It makes Old Navy look good in comparison.

Do you guys remember the cell phone commercial that was on around the last Winter Olympics or so, where they were advertising newfangled ring tones or somesuch, and this speed skater named Jimmy Shea made up this song to his? I think it was to the tune of "Low Rider", and it went "Jimmy Jimmy Jimmy Shea! Who's calling Jimmy?"

God, I loved that commercial. I started thinking about it today for some reason, so now I can't get it out of my head. It makes me *almost* wish my name was Jimmy Shea, just so I could have my own theme song, even though I'm, yknow, a girl.

I saw this commercial last night. At first I was totally confused because I could have sworn the mother was white and I was wondering where they got these brown children from. I assumed they were adopted. Then the second time I saw it, I figured she might be Hispanic. Awesome ad!




You mean the one where the women are dressed in bright colors and are dancing around singing, "Wanna Fanta? Don't you wanna, wanna Fanta?" to some sort of salsa beat? That one? Yeah, I hate that ad!

The ad with the kitty stalking the zebra was on Queer Eye last night. Yay, stalking kitty! I love that ad and hadn't seen it for a while. It's so funny when you hear the kitty's bell ringing as she races toward the zebra.

I would pay cash money for a product - any product - that used "glittery hoo-hoos" in its ad copy.

Edited because prepositions are our friends.

Bwah! I hate all fucking Slomin shield commercials, but those were the worst. That lame-ass jingle. Oh, but just so you know, the ads weren't exactly the same. IIRC, the white family had a dog and the black family had a cat. Because dogs and cats are not the same, so, you know, clearly it's a totally different ad. Now I want to see the multiracial Verizon family.

Yes. It's painfully stupid.

I have a theory about this. At the recent TV Land Awards show, Weezie could barely walk and Sherman had to help her to the podium. Then I see this commercial where she is getting her groove on. Since we only see the back of her during the dancing scene, I don't think it's even her. It screams 'body double' to me.