TheCustomOfLife
Mar 15, 2004 @ 5:02 pm
A lot of diet drug commercials tout maximum results for minimum work. Any moron can figure out that if you don't at least make SOME changes in your diet and exercise, you aren't going to lose shit.
At least the Leptoprin people tried to get somewhat chubby people to prove that even if their drug did work, it doesn't work ALL the way. Or something. Am I making sense?
senor coconut
Mar 15, 2004 @ 6:34 pm
I swear the speed limit on I-75 is higher than on I-10.
Oooh, North Florida representin'?
I know plenty of people who have gotten tickets when they switched from 75 to 10. Cops up there will kick your ass if you speed.
I saw the B&W M&M's, but they were shoved in the back. The Sinbad color-changing M&M's held favor here.
ubi
Mar 15, 2004 @ 6:49 pm
It still is 55 in some areas, like on the Beltway. But didn't it go to 55 b/c of the oil crisis or something and they wanted people to use less gas? Isn't that a good thing?
I think it was partially that reason and partially the busy-bodies who didn't like people driving faster than them. The way cars are now a days, I don't think either argument works any more.
Oh yeah, there's some new Geico ads on. Enjoy them for the first thousand times you see 'em.
Alexandria Bay
Mar 15, 2004 @ 7:52 pm
All you kids, off the lawn! The national speed limit (on the interstates) was set at 55 in the 1970s because of the oil crisis you all are too damned young to remember. People lined up at gas stations and gas went to (gasp!) $1.00 a gallon.
Grumble grumble whippesnappers mutter...
Cleo256
Mar 15, 2004 @ 7:52 pm
On the topic of car commercials, there was some commercial for a video game and they had a "simulated professional driver on simulated course" message across the bottom of the screen. At first, I was confused, since I thought they were trying to use computer graphics in a real car commercial, but then I read it and I laughed.
No, that's a car commercial. It's video game footage, or a fake video game anyway, and the XBox logo is prominently displayed, but the ad itself is actually for the car. The tagline is something like "when it starts showing up in video games, you'll know how good it is".
It is confusing, because they really did make a computer animation at about the level of a current racing game, instead of the old cheater's method of just pixellating their video footage, or making some super-CGI video that is totally fake (are your ears burning, Reebok?).
puckish
Mar 15, 2004 @ 7:58 pm
I think I'd like to see the guy who sings "I Feel Like a Woman" (Woo!) singing the hoo hoo hoover song. You know, after people have gotten tired of the spongmonkeys singing it.
The "a little bit pregnant" spot's for First Response. I know this because I recently discovered I was pregnant, so now everything remotely pregnancy-related leaps out at me. Also, I used First Response (their product is good even if their ads suck). My discovery of my gravidity was at a point where I was not only a little bit pregnant, but rather microscopically pregnant. The test is that sensitive.
I was coming here to talk about the Volkswagen commercial where the woman passes the grumpy cop. I had seen this one before, but the night before last, I noticed that her right eyebrow is funky. It's curvier and darker than her left eyebrow. It's disturbingly assymetrical to me, and has now become my focus when the commercial comes on.
jolly_roger
Mar 15, 2004 @ 8:44 pm
The new colored M&Ms have - a bigger M! Not to mention that "the combined food, pet care and snack segments are a symbol of excellence for quality brands"!
Pet care?
I think the company that owns M&M's also owns Purina pet foods.
So you're saying that M&Ms
don't treat feline leukemia?
Uh-oh.
(Also, now I'm hungry for a nice big bag of snack segments. Cool Ranch flavor, preferably.)
SnowDog
Mar 15, 2004 @ 9:30 pm
I've seen the Avlimil commercial fifty bazillion times. It's a sexual enhancement drug for women. Anyway, one woman says she was just too tired to fuck after spending her day cleaning, working, taking care of kids, etc. I always scream, "Then get your lazy-ass husband to do some work if he wants to get any!!!!"
senor coconut
Mar 15, 2004 @ 9:35 pm
Dear Old Navy--
First off, the usual:
Fuck You.
Now, on to business.
Pretty Palm Beach? Might I remind you that there is NO Old Navy in Palm Beach? To get to the closest Old Navy, a Palm Beacher would have to Leave the Fucking Island (NO!>GASP< Leave the island?) and go to either WEST Palm, ROYAL Palm, or BOYNTON!!
Shut up, Old Navy.
Vermicious Knid
Mar 15, 2004 @ 9:37 pm
Maybe I'm having a 'blonde moment' (ala Jessica Simpson), but I don't get the song? Explain please!
It's the song being sung by the Quiznos critters.
The progression of things on this thread is almost frightening, how the various commercials cross pollinate and result in, well, hoo-hoo vaccuums with hemis. And glitter.
I was literally howling with laughter as I read through that part.
VeronicaNC
Mar 15, 2004 @ 9:39 pm
The thing that gets me about the Avamil commercial is when she says, "Even if I was in the mood I was just too tired."
If you are "just too tired" then you AREN"T IN THE MOOD!
I saw on one of those consumer segemnts on the news (you know the ones where the reporter gets stuff done that the consumer could not get dne), some woman contacted got them to get her money back from the Avamil company because not only did it not get her in the mood it made her sick.
screamapiller
Mar 15, 2004 @ 10:14 pm
The "a little bit pregnant" spot's for First Response. I know this because I recently discovered I was pregnant, so now everything remotely pregnancy-related leaps out at me. Also, I used First Response (their product is good even if their ads suck). My discovery of my gravidity was at a point where I was not only a little bit pregnant, but rather microscopically pregnant. The test is that sensitive.
Oh,
Puckish, we all know you took the early detection pregnancy test so you could eat McRibs again, right? Hee!
OK, so I'm probably the only one, but I really like the new S'Mores candy bar ad with the bear doing very ordinary human things. First, the bear is hanging out in his apartment watching TV, then he's vacuuming (but not with a hoo hoo hoover) and tidying up, then he's at the grocery store. It cracks me up, because it reminds me of the bit Letterman used to do on his show with "Can a guy in a bear suit get into a strip club? / flag down a taxi on Broadway during rush hour? / buy a ticket to the movies?", which was brilliant.
TheCustomOfLife
Mar 15, 2004 @ 10:31 pm
I've seen the Avlimil commercial fifty bazillion times. It's a sexual enhancement drug for women. Anyway, one woman says she was just too tired to fuck after spending her day cleaning, working, taking care of kids, etc. I always scream, "Then get your lazy-ass husband to do some work if he wants to get any!!!!"
She's stuck at home while her bitch-ass husband is at work. Then he goes and gets some on the side after hours. So when he gets home, he, alas, is too tired. And alas, she is in the mood AND too tired.
So she needs Avlimil and he needs to be castrated. I love thinking out these fantasies for the commercial people.
There used to be a montage in the Avlimil commercials of women saying "I have passion!" Cracked my shit up every time I watched it.
ChinkyGirl
Mar 15, 2004 @ 11:32 pm
Please tell me someone has seen the late night ads for penis enlargement pills where basically a woman is saying, "Hey guys...want to make that 'special area' grow up to an inch longer?" Oh, and results are "guaranteed". Is it really nessecary to say 'special area'?
I could not believe the crap they will air these days!! I thought ads of this nature were restricted to the spam folder of my email, but instead, they somehow bled onto television! And while you're airing the ads anyway, is it really nessecary to sanitize it by saying "special area"? Why not go the extra mile and say "Hey fellas...unsatisfied by your wee-wee?"
PostToastie
Mar 15, 2004 @ 11:47 pm
It's the song being sung by the Quiznos critters.
The progression of things on this thread is almost frightening, how the various commercials cross pollinate and result in, well, hoo-hoo vaccuums with hemis. And glitter.
I was literally howling with laughter as I read through that part.
Thank you!
Now I get it....
screamapiller
Mar 16, 2004 @ 12:06 am
Why not go the extra mile and say "Hey fellas...unsatisfied by your wee-wee?"
ChinkyGirl, if they'd go that extra mile, I could finally pitch my line of "sorry I laughed at your peeper" cards to Hallmark.
phxchic
Mar 16, 2004 @ 12:48 am
I think I'd like to see the guy who sings "I Feel Like a Woman" (Woo!) singing the hoo hoo hoover song. You know, after people have gotten tired of the spongmonkeys singing it.
Ever since I went to Hoo-Hoo-Hoover
I've forgotten my monthly manuever--
Oh, oh, oh, so totally femme-y--Revved like a Hemi
Glittery glare, do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I'm free to wear white whenever I feel--
Man, I love my Hoo-Hoo-Hoover!
puckish
Mar 16, 2004 @ 1:24 am
Oh, Puckish, we all know you took the early detection pregnancy test so you could eat McRibs again, right? Hee!
Aw, you got me
screamapiller. Fat lot of good it does me, though, as all the stupid McDonald's in my stupid market don't have the damn thing. My hormones quake at the thought of a McRibless pregnancy.
And I kinda like the S'mores bear, too. The candy bar? Meh. The bear? I like him.
Edited to add that I would personally adore it if phxchic would head on up to Madison Avenue to show those jingle folks a thing or two. And heh - maybe instead of going "woo!" at the end, the "I Feel Like a Woman" guy can say, "Hoo!"
ubi
Mar 16, 2004 @ 4:49 am
Pretty Palm Beach? Might I remind you that there is NO Old Navy in Palm Beach? To get to the closest Old Navy, a Palm Beacher would have to Leave the Fucking Island (NO!>GASP< Leave the island?) and go to either WEST Palm, ROYAL Palm, or BOYNTON!!
You act like this a bad thing...
cal331
Mar 16, 2004 @ 8:29 am
Hope you don't mind, phxchic, if I add another verse to the "Man!" song...I can't get this out of my head. With all apologies....
I made my decision, don't need an incision,
I'll hoover out my monthly 'friend.'
Now goin' to the disco, beach or the health club
I won't need pads or 'pons of go-old!
The best thing about havin' a hoo-hoo,
Is the perogative to glitter it up!
Alexandria Bay
Mar 16, 2004 @ 9:35 am
The best thing about havin' a hoo-hoo,
Is the perogative to glitter it up!
When can I pre-order the Glarkware T shirt?
TenPea
Mar 16, 2004 @ 10:16 am
The best thing about havin' a hoo-hoo,
Is the perogative to glitter it up!
BWWAAAAHHHH!!! I am so using this from now on. I am woman, hear me roar!
cgchimes
Mar 16, 2004 @ 11:09 am
Umm... okay, then ;-)
I dig the Nike commercial that shows famous athletes doing different sports than what they're famous for. I so want to go bowling with Randy Johnson :)
Alexandria Bay
Mar 16, 2004 @ 11:16 am
Everyone rush over to the Pixel Challenge and see the Hoo Hoo Hoover!
etain
Mar 16, 2004 @ 11:57 am
Why not go the extra mile and say "Hey fellas...unsatisfied by your wee-wee?"
I think we've discovered a masculine use for the hoo-hoo hoover.
Miki The Brain
Mar 16, 2004 @ 12:36 pm
The best thing about havin' a hoo-hoo,
Is the perogative to glitter it up!
I love you people. I wonder- if we petition
Glark.....
Avery
Mar 16, 2004 @ 12:42 pm
I think we've discovered a masculine use for the hoo-hoo hoover.
Judging from the spam in my in-box, that use has been around for a loooong time.
But I'd like to see
that advertised on TV. It'd be a perfect fit for all those diet and male impotence drug ads on ESPN.
Arabella
Mar 16, 2004 @ 1:30 pm
Sounds exactly like those little sticky octopi that we got (from where? hmm...) as kids. We used to smack them way up high against the walls and they would stickily crawl down. Oooh! Wacky Wall Walkers! That's what they were. Anyway, after about 5 smackdowns, they would get all dusty and not work any more. You were supposed to be able to rinse them off and air-dry them and then they would allegedly get sticky again. Never worked.
So I'm not buying the Natural Bra adhesive crap. Nor am I buying the concept of the Natural Bra, for that matter. Wacky Boob Stickers.
So does this mean that the Wacky Boob Stickers might crawl down my body until they reach my glittery hoo hoo? That might be fun! Not too much support, though. . . .
DeeJayEnki
Mar 16, 2004 @ 1:33 pm
Please tell me someone has seen the late night ads for penis enlargement pills where basically a woman is saying, "Hey guys...want to make that 'special area' grow up to an inch longer?" Oh, and results are "guaranteed". Is it really nessecary to say 'special area'?
Not only that, there's a late-night infomercial for some sort of penis-enlargement pill that is hosted by--wait for it--Ron Jeremy. I caught it flipping channels one night, and I simply had to watch the whole thing. It was hilarious. It's supposed to be like a talk show or something, only it's plugging this drug. So Ron trots out various porn friends of his, and they all talk about the drug and how guys who aren't Ron Jeremy or one of his male porn star buddies could probably use some enhancement in their "special area" (also referred to as "downstairs"). This goes on for a half-hour, and it is so stupid, it is hilarious. It has to be seen to be believed.
healing fish
Mar 16, 2004 @ 2:38 pm
This thread is a work of art.
moppet
Mar 16, 2004 @ 2:48 pm
This thread is a work of art.
I couldn't agree more. You guys are so freakin' hilarious.
Susaphone
Mar 16, 2004 @ 3:04 pm
I just saw the entire Mastercard lost dog series on adage.com. Now I have tears streaming down my face. But is anyone else disturbed by the fact that the family didn't make sure doggie was in the Winnebago before blazing off? And all those nice people who helped doggie along his way - how could they just send him on his way without making sure he would be okay? I understand that resolving these issues would make the entire set of commercials disappear, but they still bother me.
Really should focus more on work than on the plights of dogs in commercials. Must look into this.
moppet
Mar 16, 2004 @ 3:20 pm
I don't know why, but somehow I got it in my mind that all the people that Badger was passed along to knew each other. Not that the whole CHAIN of folks were acquainted, but that one person passed Badger off to a truck driver that she knew, and the truck driver knew a motorcycle rider who was going in the same direction, etc. etc. Now is that fanwanking or what?
I was also concerned that they only showed the one shot in the first commercial of the trilogy that indicated the family was looking for Badger. I wish that while Badger was having his good time they at least had a few more brief clips of his family putting up "lost" posters, or maybe sitting around all sad, or something.
Mangetical Anji
Mar 16, 2004 @ 3:35 pm
Everyone rush over to the Pixel Challenge and see the Hoo Hoo Hoover!
Aww,
Alexandria Bay, you're so good to pimp out my Hoo Hoo Hoover. -sniff- I'm forever in your debt.
ETA: How fitting is it that in this very thread, I have just now become a Loyal Viewer? This day just keeps getting better and better.
Avery
Mar 16, 2004 @ 4:15 pm
it's plugging this drug
This? In a post about Ron Jeremy and penis enhancement? Priceless.
screamapiller
Mar 16, 2004 @ 4:41 pm
So does this mean that the Wacky Boob Stickers might crawl down my body until they reach my glittery hoo hoo? That might be fun! Not too much support, though. . . .
The Wacky Boob Stickers crawling down to your Glittery Hoo Hoo... if only wishing made it so.
While we're at it, bring on the Giant Dancing Tongue/Penis from the Hi-C commericals and give it some of that stuff Ron Jeremy is hawking. We'll all be in Hoo Hoo Heaven.
Eegah
Mar 16, 2004 @ 5:18 pm
I don't know if they're playing anymore, but I just have to say something about the recent Oil of Olay commercials where they say the product will give you "the skin nature intended you to have." Maybe it's just me, but doesn't it seem incredibly presumtuous and egotistical to believe that nature wanted you to have better skin and something got screwed up along the way? I'm surprised Jenna and Heidi aren't in it.
TheCustomOfLife
Mar 16, 2004 @ 5:28 pm
It would be tasty irony to have Brittany from Y&R in that Oil of Olay commercial. (In a recent plot point, she got her face horribly disfigured due to a shock coming from a wired stripper pole. Long story.)
vegasusa555
Mar 16, 2004 @ 5:44 pm
I just want to say that i love everyone in this thread!!! Ya'll are some crazy hoo-hoo loving mo-fo's!
puckish
Mar 16, 2004 @ 5:50 pm
Ya'll are some crazy hoo-hoo loving mo-fo's!
This is something else I'd dig seeing on a t-shirt.
I finally saw the Badger commercial - the first one - on TV last night (I've seen all three on AdAge before). I cried. Again. Sigh.
PostToastie
Mar 16, 2004 @ 6:11 pm
How many times are they going to show the 'Jersey Girl' ad?
If I see that little girl semi-whisper "What are your intentions with my father" again....
ubi
Mar 16, 2004 @ 7:49 pm
Gawd I hate Beniffer sans J-Ho; Didn't he claim he got a tatoo to mark his bitterness or something? Bah.
While we're at it, bring on the Giant Dancing Tongue/Penis from the Hi-C commericals and give it some of that stuff Ron Jeremy is hawking. We'll all be in Hoo Hoo Heaven.
Oh, my! I really didn't need that mental image. :-)
Sandman87
Mar 16, 2004 @ 10:28 pm
There's a drug commercial now that has this line in the Side Effects Warnings: "Do not use (this product) if you have or have had a seizure." Did they really need to warn us not to use it during a seizure?
My other favorite drug commercial right now warns us "Do not abuse alchohol while taking this product." I guess it must be ok to abuse alcohol the rest of the time.
quickychick
Mar 16, 2004 @ 10:54 pm
horribly disfigured due to a shock coming from a wired stripper pole. Long story.
Bet that made for some seriously glittery hoo hoo. Did it blow off her WBSs?
Topic: The Ron Jeremy commercial (half?) hour is comedy gold.
PostToastie
Mar 16, 2004 @ 11:34 pm
There's a drug commercial now that has this line in the Side Effects Warnings: "Do not use (this product) if you have or have had a seizure." Did they really need to warn us not to use it during a seizure?
My other favorite drug commercial right now warns us "Do not abuse alchohol while taking this product." I guess it must be ok to abuse alcohol the rest of the time.
Drug commercials give me bad dreams.
Did you ever notice that the side effects are usually WAY worse than whatever you are trying to cure? And they are random. Like skin cream that gives you a stomach ache or 'erectile disfunction pills' that make you pass out. (How's that gonna help?).
Between that guy who goes to Japan after taking his Viagra and sits at the table smiling like an idiot or the 'purple pill' that never tells you what it's for - you're just supposed to ask your doctor, things are crazy!
Ironic....
During a newscast here one night, they had an ad for some kind of medication (that seriously never said what it was for) that told you to ask your doctor about the purple pill. When they got back to the news, the feature story was how little time your doctor is able to spend with you. They had a bunch of graphs and shit like that showing that a doctor only spends about 15 minutes with a patient in a 'regular' situation. Mr. Toastie asked, "How is that going to give me time to ask about random drugs and have a checkup?"
Albanyguy
Mar 16, 2004 @ 11:59 pm
How many times are they going to show the 'Jersey Girl' ad?
If I see that little girl semi-whisper "What are your intentions with my father" again....
Actually, I love the
Jersey Girl ads because of their blatant hypocrisy. Back in the golden days of "Bennifer", the yet-to-be-released
Jersey Girl was always plugged as a starring vehicle for Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. Now, after
Gigli and their wedding both went up in flames, her name never appears
anywhere in the ads. Kevin Smith is backpedaling furiously, saying "She only appears very briefly in a flashback scene." Well, if that's the case, Kevin, why did you lead everyone to think that J-Lo was the star back when she and Ben were riding high?
Poodle Hat
Mar 17, 2004 @ 12:00 am
Speaking of medication ads... I really hate the Prilosec OTC evangelists. And the one where they give their spiel to the trucker? Geez, he could be having a heart attack. I used to work in a doctors office and if that guy told me he was there for heartburn, I can tell you he'd get a complete cardiac workup before they gave him anything for heartburn. (FYI, cardiac problems often are mistaken for indigestion and heartburn.) You'd think Prilosec's lawyers would have at least insisted on a "see your doctor" small print warning.
healing fish
Mar 17, 2004 @ 12:19 am
Well, if that's the case, Kevin, why did you lead everyone to think that J-Lo was the star back when she and Ben were riding high?
Because he's a complete, utter tool.
I think side effects lists for prescription drugs are hilarious. "May cause headache, nausea, dizziness, heart palpitations, internal bleeding..."
naepTV
Mar 17, 2004 @ 1:05 am
I just watched the newest Arby's commercial, something about going to "Arby's for Carbys".
It seems you can order their Market Fresh Sandwich in a carbo-friendly fashion. They serve it in a bowl without the bread (as all the trendy places are doing.)
Let's see.................they serve the meat and cheese on a bed of lettuce with slices of tomatoes and onion.
Yup. Say it with me people................it's a salad for god's sake.
I feel like that Outer Limits episode. ("I finally translated it. 'To Serve Man'......it's a cookbook!!!!!!!!!!!!.............")
Miki The Brain
Mar 17, 2004 @ 1:06 am
Well, if that's the case, Kevin, why did you lead everyone to think that J-Lo was the star back when she and Ben were riding high?
Because 95% of her role was taken out after the test screenings and the fal lof Bennifer....She originally was supposed to be in the first half of the movie, but because of the flap over Bennifer breaking up and their movie failing, Smith stayed true to his longtime friend and edited her out.
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