If you click on the links in the upper right-hand corner of the link Poodle Hat provided, you will see that there is actually a DIY Vag Vaccuum thing, too. So you don't even have to suffer the inconvenience of going to the doctor to rid yourself of the inconvenience of the normal, healthy function of your body.

There's also an armband, if you're not inclined to hoo-hoo-hoover yourself, to warn people that you're "having that time of the month."

Because yeah, I'd like to announce to perfect strangers when I'm on the rag. I mean, I'm not ashamed of being a menstruating woman or anything, but there's a difference between Acknowledging it Like a Mature Adult and, well, wearing it on your sleeve.

Topic?

I finally saw the All commercial with the butler and the supermodel, but I hadn't seen the first one, which dulled the impact of the second one.

Does that come in a glitter version?

The Hoo Hoo Hoover undoubtedly comes with many interesting attachments, including one for making your hoo hoo all glittery.

It's probably a patented Strudy Tube, actually.

god, that sounds like something from a Dr. Seuss book... Horton Has a Hysterectomy!

Oh. My. God. That has been the funniest thing in this thread all day--not that everything else hasn't been funny. All this period talk is equally disturbing and funny.

Horton Hears a Hoo Hoo, the prequel.

I think someone actually used that line when hoo hoo was coined, but a good line is a good line.

Back on topic, I still love the doomed!doomed!doomed! Fed Ex ad.

I'm currently laughing so hard that I'm crying. This hoo hoo talk is just cracking me up. And the hubby? Just doesn't get it.

On topic:

Me too!

Why use anything as subtle as an armband? How 'bout a headband with a big red dot in the middle of it, like the kamikaze pilots used to wear?

Has anybody seen the ad for "Chaser?" It's some kind of pill (I guess) that you can take when you start drinking, and it supposedly absorbs all of the toxins that cause a hangover. The ad depicts a morning-after scenario, with a man and a woman in a kitchen. The woman is all bright 'n' perky, and the man is a groggy mess. Guess which one took Chaser? It's a pretty low-budget affair -- not as bad as that ad with the champagne-drinkin' lady who has nails like the little girl from "The Ring" -- but it looks pretty cheap. It's the type of ad that looks like it was shot in a hurry, because the actors had a porno shoot to run off to.

Hell, I'd wear a headband with a big red dot in the middle of it! All the time; that way, nobody can tell if I'm really on "that time of the month" or not. Confusion is my friend.

Those "Chaser" ads bug me to no end. First of all, who drinks so much they end up with a hangover, the night before they have to go to work? And the way she says that is just so fake and smarmy. The sad part is, I have seen pornos that are better-acted than that commercial.

I don't know if any of you guys live in Maryland, or somewhere in the Baltimore/Owings Mills/Carroll County area, but there are these two awful local commercials that get played all the time.
One is for some sort of water purifying company, and they show this really nasty lady who really, really looks like a prostitute taking a sip of water and making a gross face. The announcer voice-overs: "Do you want her to drink that water?" Everytime I see it I think, "That lady probably has bigger problems than the water."
And another one for a pawn shop, whose catch phrase is "Shop for a go-cart and a curio cabinet at the same time"
I don't know what the hell's wrong with my area, but the ad-men are not doing their jobs.

In northern New Jersey, there's a two-bit car dealership owned by a husband and wife who put out these horrible, grating commercials every few months. The newest one has them rapping with a bunch of cheesy graphics on the screen. Before that it was even worse, with a Lone Ranger spoof where the wife interrupted the husband's sales pitch every few words to say stuff like "You got it, kemosabe." I just want to kill them.

This has been mentioned upthread, but I hate the new Old Navy ads. I thought the spoofs on the old TV shows were pretty bad, the Fran Drescher "foshizzle ads" were worse, but this new one with the "reporters" annoys the shit out of me. I hate the shot of the boys and girls on the surfboards and when the one guy says, "Toes on the nose, bros!" What the fuck does that mean? And what does it have to do with Old Navy?

Just saw Thom's Pier One ad --- did they make him say pumpkin instead of punkin'? It's not the same.

Oh, this thread has been on fire the past day or two. My favorite line so far (of many, many, many great lines):

Hee.

The Chaser ad really looks like it was shot by someone's Camcorder. And the woman is so annoying. "Don't you remember? I took Chaser." Her voice grates.

New ad. It's a State Farm ad, talking about how you can't predict what's going to happen. You see a man in a grocery store, unloading his basket. You also see the back of a woman's head with him - presumably his wife. He's not looking at what he's unloading, until he spots a pregnancy test going down the conveyor belt. He looks up, all surprised, and sees the woman smiling at him. Cue voiceover. Seems fine, right? Except the woman is old enough to be his mother!! Seriously, I wonder if he's all excited about a new baby brother he's going to get to welcome home from the hospital.

catharsis- I grew up near Baltimore, but I'm unfamiliar with those ads- it's been a while since I've watched TV there, though.
I do love Scott Donahoo and his car dealership commercials ;-) I heard he was even thinking of running for mayor once!
On an unrelated subject, I had a Shamrock Shake the other day- it was delicious :-)

Did anyone else hear the NPR Talk of the Nation segment about the spongmonkeys? I thought it was going to be more interesting (they mainly talked about the popularity of online animations), but they did play a good part of the commercials.

I just saw that incredibly annoying kitchen strips commercial for the first time. WTF? Is this really going to make me buy those nasty-looking things?

I still haven't seen the mastercard commercial where the dog makes it home. Those commercials make me so anxious! It makes me worry to see a dog on his own, near roads. I worry he is going to get hurt. I need to get some perspective, apparently...

Ugh. I'd love to get rid of the dreaded monthly caller, but that is just wrong.

Anyhoo-hoo, There's a commercial for US magazine that I saw on E! tonight (I usually never watch this channel and this may be why) where two women are discussing celebrity couples in the most egregiously fawning manner. To wit:

Dip One: Jay Z and Beyonce?
Dip Two: I know!
Dip One: Justin and Cameron?
Dip Two: I KNOW!
Dip One: Ben and Jen?
Dip Two: IIII KNOOOOWWW!!!!!!

Except there were a few more couples dragging it out to the full :30. I don't give even half a crap about celebrities, so I'm not going to try to remember them all. So obnoxious!

However, thanks to E! I did see the Citibank Hamster-grab spot, and that was damn funny. She maced him so calmly, I had to laugh.

The lost dog ads are up at AdAge.com - all three in one clip.

No, I understand! I can't watch Homeward Bound for the same reason.

Oh, Christ. Scott Donahoo. I grew up in the Baltimore area and the memories I have of his commercials are priceless. My mother swears at least once a week that she will never, ever buy a car from him. "Ev'ray-boday riiiiiiides at Foreign Motors!"

"If you don't come see me today, I can't save you any money." That's our local car dealership's catchphrase, to which I reply, "I can save thousands more by avoiding you!"

I know that no one has probably seen this, but here in Vegas, there is a lawyer named Glen Learner, or as he is known in town, "The Heavy Hitter". I wish i was making this up. I just had to rant about him because he has a king arthur haircut, a bad speech problem, and his neck is so fat that he looks like a worm in a cheap pimp suit!!!

*okay, i'm done now.

I'm just loving this thread, I usually lurk in here but there have been a series of ads that have been on recently that have just caught my eye and my overactive imagination and I thought I'd share. They are the new and improved Bounty paper towels ads with the new Bounty (cute and cleanshaven) and the old Bounty guy (70's porn star look), they're watching soaps and in the other they're talking about being in relationships with women and they just sing hoyay to me, especially the latter in which the new Bounty guy asks the old one "Who was she?" In this I really want to know but I'm pretending to not really care sort of voice.

[sorta O/T] I totally sympathize with you, having been probably the only 3rd/4th grader to be referred to as "Kotex Lady" by my classmates. This was back in the days of that classy fashionable belt we used to wear, though, so I'd not have minded a loud wrapper as opposed to that. [/sorta O/T]

I think I posted on Fametracker and not here with my question about the family taking in roommates to pay the cell bill. Is that Chris Farley's brother Kevin playing the girl's roommate? He looks and sounds a lot like Chris (RIP) but is not quite as cute as Chris was, IMO. He appears even sweatier, probably from that bathroom polluting.

I thought he looked like the poor man's Chris Farley.

New disgusting Carl Jr. ad for its $6 Burger; a ripoff of Debra Winger's mechanical bull ride from Urban Cowboy, with the gal eating a burger while riding the bull machine. Sex does not sell the sizzle, at least in this ad.
A history note to the Pon/Pad thread: be glad Mother Invention came up with an alternative to the Hell that was sanitary belts.

Has anyone seen the new ad for new-n-improved Wellbutrin? I think it's plugging the plus that it doesn't affect sexual performance, but then it launches into a long laundry list of Scary Side Effects. But hey, you're no longer depressed and you can still have sex, so that counters any minuses, right? Direct to consumer pharma marketing is so wrong- and this ad is a classic example of why. Goes off to mutter in corner as TV and print ad people come to defend the Kash Kow that is pharma DTC advertising.

Oh, thanks very much for reawakening the blocked memories of sanitary belts. Must.bleach.brain...

Lost Hamster ad: I love the woman calmly macing the guy, but overall it bugs me that she doesn't feel the hamster or the guy's hand. Has she no feeling from the base of her skull to her waist?

Jeep Polar Bear: I don't think I've seen this one mentioned--Guy scoops up snow in a pan, puts it on the passenger seat of the Jeep. It melts due to the magical heated seats of this Jeep model, then gets out and we see a polar bear with its tongue stuck to the bumper of the Jeep. Jeepman uses the water to free the polar bear and then scampers back into the Jeep. Bwah! And, awww, cute polar bear.

And it's got a Hemi.

<SMALL VOICE>Umm, that would be me...</SMALL VOICE>

ITA about the cheesiness factor of the ad, though.

I kinda liked the lost dog ad despite hating such things but have to wonder how all those people were able to talk to the lost dog "Dallas? Yeah, I can take you there." Huh?


Why doesn't he just ask "Is that your hamster carwling about under your shirt?"?

Clearly, he is not as calm and collected as hamster lady. Maybe she did feel the hamster, but didn't want to stop what she was doing to retrieve it. She seems like the sort of person to do that. I love the dead calm, slightly annoyed look on her face.

Congrats, ubi! Good, huh?

After the first few sentences, I couldn't bring myself to read that site; there's an actual factual armband? Are they fucking kidding me? Also, "hoo-hoo-hoover" is some funny shit.

Heh. Are you me? I'm all, "Oh, Badger... Oh, no. How will it all end?"

Apparently the ad people here think that overweight people can't feel anything through their cushion of fat. I'm surprised she didn't pull the flyers and tape from her ample cleavage, which we all know, doubles as a purse.


Why tell her that her hamster isn't really missing when he can collect a reward?

This commercial bugs me.

Maybe it wasn't the hamster she was looking for? And the reason she didn't react to the little rodent crawling under her shirt was because she knew it was there.

Ok, I'm overthinking it.

I saw an ad last night during Survivor, and before I could get in here to post about it, forgot it. I hate it when I do that...

I saw the Citibank hamster ad for the first time last night, and it actually made me laugh out loud (I haven't visited this thread in a while, so I was seeing it totally unprepared). It is absolutely the straight face that the woman has when she maces the guy that makes the whole thing work.

But then I saw it a second time and saw something I had missed: she comes back and bashes him on the head with a garbage can. Ruins the commercial, in my opinion. It was a lovely, elegant, deadpan commercial, but they couldn't leave well enough alone. They had to bash the guy literally, and the audience figuratively, over the head with the message. Stupid ad people.

From vegasusa555:
Now that's odd. Here in upstate NY, we also have a lawyer advertising himself as "The Heavy Hitter". Is there a franchise?

Thanks, guys. I keep singing a jingle in my head, "I choo-choo-choose, the hoo-hoo-hoover!"

From pages and pages ago....



Or even Prince Charles. He could finally fulfill his dream of being Camilla's tampon. (Although I suspect The Rottweiller is way past needing icky items of feminine protection.)

Me too - though not a jingle... more like Ralph Wiggum's voice. And when you consider that little Ralphie's teacher is Miss Hoover ... hmmmm.

About a week ago I mentioned some "I'm waiting" ads where these random people just say they're waiting and for what? We don't know. They were driving me crazy running during ER on TNT.

Now I know! Last night on the news (thanks WTHR Indianapolis) the ads are for Dick's Sporting Goods.

Not permantently if they are indeed talking about Menstrual Extraction. If they are talking about endometrial ablation yes, this would most likely be permanent. It doesn't stop periods in all women who have it, but does in a lot of them. However, I doubt they are talking about this procedure.



I can really think of some pretty good reasons. What if you get your period right before your wedding? Some people schedule weddings six months or more in advance so the period could pop up right before. Wouldn't it suck to have heavy cramps and bleeding at your wedding?

Or, suppose you've been saving for your dream trip to hawaii. A day before you leave...HELLO Aunt flo. Ugh.

These may be on the shallow side of things, but I can certainly understand someone not wanted to deal with it on their wedding/honeymoon/dream vacation!


I saw another Propane commercial! Propane and Electricity are standing just outside the bathroom. The shower is running. Electricity, who formerly handled the hot water needs, tells Propane about a really funny thing he can do. Turn the water cold mid shower! Propane rolls his eyes. These things are cracking me up!

Note: I see them on the Weather Channel a lot. Also saw one on Court TV. I've seen them in two different states, but both states are in the same region, although not right next to each other. So I think they are either national or regional.

Oh dear God. Who's got the brain bleach?

Thank [insert names of all deities, ever, here] that Thom Filicia is doing the Pier I ads. Kirstie Alley and her Ballgowns From Hell made my eyes (and ears) bleed.

Is it wrong that when they showed the "lost dog gets home" ad last night during The Apprentice, I got all teary? What a sweet little dog.

Scott Donahoo... *mere mention of name triggers murderous rage*

And as for the hamster reward guy? I think the point is that if she finds her own hamster crawling in her shirt, there'd be no reward. The guy wants the reward, and tries to--foolishly--sneak the hamster out of the lady's blouse.
Hmm. I am thinking these things through entirely too much.

No. That makes perfect sense.

Then again, I'm the one who agonized over the impossibility of the hotels.com measuring tape experiment.

hey meknownothing, i don't know if it's a franchise, but if you have the same guy that I have here in Vegas, than I will pray for you tonight, because his voice is the kind that makes you want to kill sombody!

thank god I'm not the only one.

Oh, yes, I understand why Lost Hamster man doesn't just say "hey, your hamster's in your shirt." But that doesn't explain the real problem of the ad: why Lost Hamster woman doesn't feel either the hamster or the hand. I think the poster upthread might be right--the creators of the ad assume fat people have no sensation. In which case, fuck you, ad people.

[ETA: I like the fanwanking that the hamster under the shirt is a different one than the one she lost, but...nah, I can't extend that much credit to people who create ads.]

Has anyone else seen the Jeep polar bear ad? Did I just imagine it?

No, no! This is genius. Of course hamster lady has several such creatures and is missing only one of them. Because who wouldn't feel those spiky little feet scurrying around one's waist? It's the kind of thing skin-crawly nightmares are made of...

Glad to know I'm not the only one who is worried about the doggie.

This commercial makes me cry. Every.time.I.see.it.
I cried at a Superbowl party the first time it came on. My dogs are loving it, they get extra hugs and a cookie each whenever any part of it comes on!

I can't find the Mastercard dog ad on AdAge... I'm feeling the strong desire to let loose with some hormone-and-sappiness-induced tears. Can someone help me find the clips? Thanks in advance.

P.S. I'm not usually this stupid. The baby's using the brain today, apparently.