Teehee! There are like four different tow places where I live that have either a small print disclaimer or are overtly Christian in their ads...Agape Key and Lock comes to mind. :) I think, at least, in that business, maybe it's to let you know they're "good people" that you can turn to.

And puckish, I love you. That prayer was fantastic!

Hee, puckish. I think the "brown" crap (no pun intended) doesn't irk me that much because I rarely see it. It's damn stupid, though.

Is he? I always thought he was on the lam. You know, hence the little Zorro mask. But then again, he's wearing prison stripes, isn't he? That is one confused little dude.

I blame the revolving-door prison policies of Mayor McCheese.

College football teams can't be colors either, but that hasn't stopped Stanford's from calling themselves Cardinal since 1972. Frankly, adopting a color as your corporate symbol is pure marketing genius. There can't be more than a handful of people in the US who can't identify a UPS truck at first glance, and that recognizability comes solely as a result of the color. They can build their brand identy for the cost of a coat of paint.

The Hamburglar is clearly an escaped felon; that's why he's wearing stripes. He's wearing a mask because that's what burglars do, as any fan of the Beagle Boys can clearly attest. I can't explain the cape. I blame Police Officer Big Mac for failing to recapture Hamburglar. Too busy easting donuts, no doubt.

I thought the Cardinal was a tree.

No, the Cardinal is a color. The tree is the mascot -- because how do you anthropomorphize a color? -- but the team name is the Cardinal. See http://www.stanford.edu/home/athletics/ for confirmation. Similarly, the Crimson Tide of Alabama feature an elephant as their mascot, and the Green Wave of Tulane use a pelican.

See, I thought they meant Cardinal like in cardinal number. And when I hear about Brown, I think of shit. Really.

It took me a while to catch up on about 12 pages. All I really have to say is keep your cock-blocking ninjas away from my glittery hoo-hoo.

In the grand scheme of things, they aren't that bad. But for the money, you're better off buying regular chocolate.

The thing I hate about VS bras is all the padding. I have enough of my own thanks. Can't they just make pretty bras w/o padding?

Chicos. sigh Looks like old lady vacation clothes to me. Also, unless your over 6 feet and weigh less than 100 lbs., it all makes you look fat.

Hey, I know at least two of that handful. Mr. Shelwood and his brother are both color blind. For most of their lives, they assumed UPS trucks were green. They were astounded to find out that a company voluntarily selected that ugly washed-out brown as their "color", since that's the default non-color seen by those without red/green cones.

ladyDonna, I suppose that makes sense and I'm betting that's the case. As you said, they can say it and it doesn't mean they are, but if that's the case, I resent the implication that being honest and charitable are somehow values that are exclusively theirs. I always thought honesty and fairness, etc were part of just being a good person. I'm not bringing this up to bash the Christian part of it, either--definitely not my point. Rather, for this company to bring it up just seems out of place. I'll just move on.

Chiming in on the Swoops.... my friend's mother buys all these new products and tests them on us. We got the regular Hershey's Swoops and they're alright, but I think they'd be great to have in the kitchen in case you want to serve a quick fancy dessert....a scoop of ice cream with a Swoop on the side? Yum.

puckish - You should say Grace like that one night, just to see what happens. Or you could always mumble that in Church when everyone's saying the Apostle's Creed, heh. Anyways...brilliant! I'm printing it out to show my friends tonight :)

I'd say less. The glitter is what makes the glittery hoo-hoo worth so much- a doodly boob, sadly, has no glitter.
I wish somebody would drop a Shamrock Shake in my lap. Didn't mean to suggest in my earlier post that Shamrock Shakes cater only to Catholics, but the absence of Shamrock Shakes AND filet-o-fish in my neck of the woods suggests an anti-Irish Catholic conspiracy. Next you'll be telling me they don't sell alcohol between the hours of 3 AM and noon...
Also, if you want a McRib, they're available at the McDonald's on 41A highway by exit 89 in Clarksville, TN. Or at least they were two weeks ago, when I last craved one.

Yup. It's all about trade dress. Same as pink with black stripes for Victoria's Secret, and that turquoise blue for Tiffany's. You get the point.

And I'm off to find a Shamrock Shake. But I'm sure I won't find it. Cause there is no happiness in Newark, NJ. It's worse than Chino here.

RE: the Chico's ads... I always think "Look, a skeleton wearing ugly clothes!"

OK, new woman to add to the Commercial Bitch Hall of Fame...

New T-Mobile Ad: The mom is lamenting the high cost of their cell phone bills, and tells her daughter that in order to pay for them, the family has to take on boarders/roommates. Out walks a real cute boy, girl gets excited. Mom says, "No honey, that's your brother's roommate. Yours is..." And out walks an fat, older guy from the bathroom, telling them the bathroom is polluted and not to go in there, and of course he is unattractive and obnoxious.

You're an exemplary parent, Mom. No, really - every mother puts a potential molestor in her teenaged daughter's room to punish her for talking on the phone too much. ARRRRRGH - Hate!!! Hatehatehate!

As a part Irish protestant, I think this may be the thing that can bring peace throughout Ireland. Irish unite for Shamrock shakes!!

I live in South Florida. Big. Huge. Catholic population. No shamrock shakes.

I'm off to Steak and Shake for a mint shake. Damn it.

Do they still have that "Blair Witch" actress in the Steak 'n Shake commercials? I haven't seen one in three years.

How I wish we had banner ads again...

Hate! It reminds me of when I was growing up: only one of my two brothers & I could detect a change in milk after a mere 2 days; since the parental units couldn't detect it, we had to drink it anyway - and we *did* have baking soda in the fridge.

The daughter sounds a bit like the "lifts&separates" identity thief.

The brother's roommate is way hot though. I wouldn't mind living in the same house with that, even if it's not in the same room.

Hershey's ad with two black men arguing over which chocolate they like best: Am I the ONLY one who sees rampant HoYay in it?

I keep on expecting them to grab each other and purr "The best chocolate is YOU!"

That's a Catholic priest who works for the Pope. Oh, it's also a bird.

Oh, saw the ad for nija Lassie the other day. That was funny as hell.

Funny, the bathroom-polluting roommate kind of looks like the "lifts&separates" victim.

I finally saw the Coke commercial with the singing girl. Nice song. Wish I knew who she was.

i also just saw this new Perdue Chicken commercial on how they're obssessed with cultivating meatier chicken, and I love when the chickens are in class, and when the chicken is trying to bench. Hee!

I thought they were brothers, so Ew to that.

Shut up Chevy Aveo. If I hear "and we can roll all day, and I can ride all night" one more time, I swear I'm going to shoot someone.

Is this the cutie from the X-mas sweater ads?

There was a very odd commercial on MTV this evening--for Frank's Hot Sauce (I think).

Guy with nipple peircings yanks on them and screams. Older guy says he's not sure what the male nipple is for but he's pretty sure that's not it. But you can get much more stimulation from the hot sauce. Buy it.

Abadee abadee what??

I kinda like that hot sauce commercial.

But what was up with that thing at the end of The Real World with the guy dancing in front of the cut-out people he'd put on the sofa - was that a commercial or just some fucked-up little short film?

This afternoon, between naps, I saw a number of commercials I wanted to comment on, but I've forgotten most of them by now. One is the one for that extended-cab truck, the Colorado or something, where the guy's singing "I Feel Like a Woman" or whatever Shania Twain song that is, and all his co-passengers are looking like they'd rather be ANYWHERE but there with him. It makes me laugh. I especially like the "Woo!" at the end when he's finished singing.

Also, Citi has another identity-theft spot out. It's some guy dressed all in black talking like a Florida retiree with a two-carton-a-day smoking habit discussing the plastic surgery she's getting. Not as good as the others, but still kind of funny.

The "Intro Guy"? I've seen two versions of it (dancing in front of cutouts, and dancing to his car alarm), and am not sure what his purpose is. Other than to make me not want to bring children into this world.

puckish: both!

To save them from seeing bizarre shit like that, or to save them from BECOMING bizarre shit like that?

Topic? Anyone else kind of squicked out by the founder of eharmony.com? He's so grandfatherly, but there's a vibe about him... like, why's this old dude so concerned about whom I hook up with? Kinda creepy in a clown kind of way.

Yup, it's the "woo" that does it. All the other guys are so cool with the hair and the clothes, but Singing Guy, he's not just a dork, he owns his dorkness. It's why I love him. That's right, I'll admit it. I want him. I want him like a Shamrock Shake. Nothing sexier than a guy who owns his dorkness.

Also loving the Gap guy. But I think the fact that even he can't pull off that orange-y red shirt should be a cautionary lesson to us all. If he can't do it, no one can. Stay far, far away from the orange-y red shirt, people.

Me! Ugh, this guy is even on the radio, and he follows me everywhere!

Okay, I've never been a big Winnie the Pooh fan, and especially not seen as he sounds like he's named after fecal matter, but I just saw a commercial for a baby toy, and damn near died of laughter (and from being squicked at the same time). This baby crawls around on the floor playing with the WtP toy and the Rock-voice jingle singer sings "He's maaa-aa-giiic Touch N' Crawl POOOOOOOOO".

*splits a side laughing* ew...

Is there no end to your infidelity, Hot Gap Guy? You say you only want your jeans...then you add in a sweater...and now you're putting on khakis? I bet those khakis aren't as comfortable as your jeans when you're flopping sexily down onto your bed, are they? ARE THEY?
That's it. We're done, Slutty Hot Gap Guy.

Next he'll start wearing suits.

If next he could NOT be wearing suits (or jeans or khakis for that matter), I'd be very happy.

Hee. Something about GAP suits strikes me as funny.

Has anyone else seen the creepy animated Strawbridge's mannequins? Three of them come down off their little podiums and start shopping and shit. All I can think of is the "After Hours" episode of The Twilight Zone: "Maaaarcia. Maaaaarcia." Yeah, way to go, Strawbridge's.

Thank god there are no Strawbridge's within a 50 mile radius of me, cause this is freaking me out, FFrauleinN. It is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too early in the morning to be talking about the whole things moving that shouldn't concept...

now I'm scared!

*hold me, Hot Gap Man!*

Speaking of Coke ads, does anyone know who the woman is in the most recent one, where she's in the restaurant kitchen and at the end, refuses dinner because she's watching her figure? I know we're supposed to know who these people are, but I don't recognize her--she does look kind of like Penelope Cruz, but they wouldn't use her twice, would they?

That's Salma Hayek. I love her! She's 10 times more beautiful than Penelope Cruz. And has a much better figure. Her body is almost like a Coke bottle, very curvy.

I think you mean Salma Hayek, Tornado. My brother loves that commercial and always ends it with "But why watch your figure when there are so many individuals more than willing to watch it for you!" But wait. They used Penelope Cruz in a Coke commercial? But she's utterly devoid of any kind of personality (or talent, in my opinion).

Can someone please, please post a link to a downloadable version of Hot Gap Guy's secret love affair with his khakis?

I know the horror of the Fridge Pig from seeing it once, and once is enough. This is an excellent example of what happens when Lame Inventor overhears the Lame Patent Guy's Guide to Getting Your Lame Invention Patented commercial. It's the circle of life.

I hate VS on principle, because those ads are not for me even though the bras "fit" me. I put "fit" in quotes because their products are so ill-made they don't actually fit anyone, and they self-destruct in the washing machine. The ads are obviously for the men to whom Victoria's Secret is really marketing their product. Notice to men: Anything at VS is not a present for me, it's a present for you vaguely disguised as a present for me— a present the straps of which will slide off my shoulders at the most embarrassing moment, a present that I will have to iron to get it to look right, and a present that will require me to chap my hands washing it in the sink like some scullery maid. No, thank you.

In other, equally ranty news, I'll buy my own damn jewelry, and not from you either, DeBeers.

I guess that rant has been stewing for a while.

I'm guessing "introboy" will somehow be saddled with the task of announcing the next show playing on MTV. I don't know why they need him since they play music videos all the time. </SARCASM>

Thanks, bakaney. I guess I don't watch enough movies she's in to recognize her! And yes, they used Penelope in an ad, where she rushes into a truck stop/rural restaurant, grabs a Coke, downs the entire bottle and burps. I've never thought she was that good looking, either.

I love Salma Hayek but I loathe that commercial.



This and the Touch 'n Crawl POOOOOOOOOO quote made me giggle my fool head off at work. See you in the unemployment line!

I also love Salma Hayek but hate that ad. It is not an image I think is appropriate for girls--- binge eat where no one can see you, then act self righteous about what you eat or don't eat in front of others. Way to set up the generation for bulimia, Salma!!

Isn't that the one with Kenny... uh, I mean "Bricks"... Wangler in it?



I saw that last night, but it was for Robinson's May, which along with Strawbridge's is owned by the May Department Stores Co. Freaked my shit out. At the beginning of this commercial, one of the mannequins eyes a headless mannequin and I am now wondering: If the ones with heads come alive, do the headless ones too? That's really scary.

My latest commercial love is one for United Airlines, done in a kind of sepia-toned animated style, about a man who goes on a job interview and gets the job because, I guess, United did such a kick-ass job of flying him to the city where his interview took place. I'm not really clear on their message. Anyway, the reason I love this commercial? The first time I saw it, a friend of mine said "Oh, this is a nice commercial" so I watched it and at the point where the guy got a call on his cellphone that he got the job and he started jumping up and down for joy, the scene cuts to a female flight attendant on a United flight. My first reaction was: "So, he got a job as a cross-dressing stewardess?" I swear that's what I thought was going on, and though I know better now, I still think that every time I see it.

I loved two commercials I saw yesterday during Real World, which had MTV promoting its spring break hoo-ha, and had two ads with these old people.

One showed a couple playing cards or something, and a nurse walks in to give the man some liquid medication. He takes some salt, shakes it onto the woman's clavicle, licks it and takes the shot. It doesn't sound funny written out, but it cracked my shit up.

The other showed old people at a pool party, and one guy was doing the keg funnel, with Ensure! Good stuff, MTV.