If you stay up late enough and watch Comedy Central, you will be punished with numerous ads for the horror that is "The Underground Comedy Movie" or some crap like that. It does not look remotely funny, just lewd, and features a slew of b-actors like Gena Lee Nolin, Joey Buttofucco, and Ving Rhames (who, imo, is not a B, but since he did this movie, I guess he is).

Also included are "supermodels on the can", some limping dog, "Donna of the Dead", "Arnold Schwollenpecker", and what is supposed to be a redneck guy missing teeth.

Can anyone sympathize?

Texas Gal, that's a great one! I've also seen a couple ads recently for careerbuilder.com where people are plotting ways to escape from their jobs. One guy is stuffing teddy bears in a factory and sneaks out in a bear suit. Funny stuff!

Now the holidays are over, we are, of course, being swamped with weight loss ads. Like this is the only time of year people need to lose weight! Anyway, one is for LA Weight Loss Centers that just cracks me up. The woman is talking about being overweight and says, "I was 77 pounds overweight." Not 75, not 80, 77 exactly. Don't know why, but I laugh every time I see it. I'm terrible.

The other one makes my toes curl-Anna Nicole Smith advertising Trim Spa. Just the adoration from the crowd-as if anyone really cares-and the way she says, "I'm back." Sorry, didn't notice you were gone in the first place. Having this person advertise your product-oh, such a bad idea!

People get them to match their color scheme for weddings and parties. Because everything has to be matchy-matchy! I thought about getting them but the purple shade wasn't quite close enough to the eggplant of my bridesmaid dresses [/end sarcasm].



UGH! I hate that little hemi kid! The dad sucks, too. At least mom's got her priorities straight.

I loathe the dad. I will hate the kid in about two years, because unless Mom throws him in the Hemi truck and drives as far and fast as she can, he's going to be a misogynist asshole just like Dad.

They sell the custom color M&Ms at my college...apparently they think that college kids have enough extra money that we would want to buy m&Ms in the schools colors. For about $8.00 a bag. Thanks, but I'll stay away from the marroon and white m&m's.

Eight. Fricking. Dollars? There is nothing right about this scheme. Why are the people at M&M Mars working so hard to incur my wrath?

I can sympathise, ChinkyGirl. I've been meaning to mention it, in fact. Because we have no life (and a 10-yr-old), we spent New Year's Eve watching the South Park marathon on Comedy Central. Around one am they showed the movie uncut and uncensored, and apparently the ONLY freaking sponsers the channel could find for that was the aforementioned "Underground Comedy Movie" or whatever and the Girls Gone Wild people, along with the freaky big-head exercise guy. Those same commercials, in constant rotation, for hours and hours. Good thing we were drunk.

Note: We didn't turn on South Park until AFTER our kid went to bed, in case anyone is thinking we have absolutely no common sense. We don't buy him Kids Bop cds, either.

You can also make your own custom bags of M&Ms at candy places in the mall. While I'm busy shoveling assorted sour candies in my plastic baggie, my friend was putting colored M&Ms in his. I was like, "Um, you do realise that there's nothing special about these M&Ms, and you're going to be charged about $5 a pound for this right?"

ETA: Oh, I was about to say, "You're one cool mom, JenEx!" But I'm sure you still are! I, for one, had to get my mom to get me into the South Park movie (I was about 15 at the time, I think), lol.

There was a bear wearing a hat--straw variety, I believe. I've seen this resurfaced as a banner ad on websites. Joy.

The "Underground Comedy Movie" always seemed to me like something made BY the "Girls Gone Wild" people. It's advertised essentially the same way. But I checked IMDB and Ving Rhames is definitely not in it--no worries. They probably just say a name that sounds similar.

Starring Bing Lhames.

I'm a wee bit confused. Are they advertising a movie, or is this just some incredibly lame compilation they want you to pay $24.95 for? You know, like those "Hottest Love Scenes" and "Movie Babe Topless" things they push late at night.

I totally hated this ad until I saw the follow-up ad where Dad sets his barbecue mitt on fire and puts it out in the cooler.

It's not Ving Rhames, it's Michael Clarke Duncan. And also, Lightfield Lewis, son of Geoffrey and brother of Juliette! You may remember him from the New WKRP in Cincinnati.

And no, I haven't seen it. Looked it up on IMdB.

Yay, I remember and love that commercial too! I think there were other versions where people challenged the mighty power that was Bandini Mountain.

*emulates sexy voiceover* "Bandini is the word for...fertilizer"

Makes me think of "Brown 25- From Uranus" from The Groove Tube.
"Things come out just a little different at Uranus."

It looked to me -- in my tipsy state, I wasn't totally paying attention -- that it's one of those direct-to-video, (supposedly) too-hot-for-the-movies type of things. Yeah, cause models on the toilet -- way too much for the ratings system to handle. Uh Huh.

I AM a cool mom, chinkygirl. I'd just rather my stepson not wander around singing "shut your fucking face, uncle fucker" quite yet. Give it a couple of years. Heh.

That's one hell of an unintended pun.

Gee, I'm gay and I never had an SUV with a DVD player when I was a kid. I feel really cheated now. On the other hand, my dad could have grunted "HEMI!" at me from breakfast to beddy-bye and I'd still have grown up to be a big 'mo.

And the new Subway ad that promises "Atkins friendly" food?!?! Okay, this is a trend that has to be stopped now, people! I'm a chef at a fairly upscale restaurant and I can tell you that the Atkins asshats out there are making my life a living hell. They'll order a big, fat, greasy double bacon cheeseburger and scream hysterically at the waiter that they can't eat it if it comes on the dreaded sourdough roll. We serve a side of potato salad (garnished with dill and sun-dried tomatoes, trust me, it's beautiful) with our lunch entrees and when they see it, they go berserk "POTATOES! I can't eat potatoes! Unclean! Unclean! Take it away! Oh, and I'd like extra whipped cream on the chocolate mousse, please."

Sure, cutting carbs in this way can result in a weight loss, but it's unhealthy and you'll gain it all right back again anyway. After a century of diet fads, the only safe and genuine way to lose weight is to eat less of everything and get off your lazy ass and exercise. Even the Jarrod Subway Diet makes sense compared to this lunacy.

Eh? They're sandwiches. You know, with bread. How is that Atkins-friendly? I agree with Albanyguy. We must, as Susan Powter would say, "Stop the insanity!"

Because that shit isn't loaded with carbs or anything.

They put it on a tortilla and make it into a wrap.

I know a tortilla is a form of bread. Maybe the Atkins diet works if you pretend about some things.

I tried one, but only because I like wraps, not to lose weight or anything. It was good, but it's definitely pricier. If you're used to getting a foot-long, then forget it. It's the equivalent of a 6-inch, and costs 50 cents more than whatever 6-incher you chose. But you can't double the quantity for only a buck more, like you could with their breaded sandwiches. Anyway, the wrap is indeed a form of bread, but has a lot less carbs than bread. Their sign says it's like 30 g for the bread version, 6 grams for the wrap. They have big disclaimers too that say, "Not appropriate for the induction phase of Atkins". Why yes, there was a long wait that day, and I read everything in the restaurant at least twice. The highly skilled Sandwich Artists haven't quite mastered Wrap Art yet, apparently.

Heh. "Induction phase" sounds like something on Star Trek.

I'm convinced that both the mom and dad in the Durango commercial are deeply closeted and using each other as beards. That's the only way I can wrap my brain around two people living their gender stereotypes so much (dad grunting, cooking with fire, interested in engines and stuff; mom in flowery dresses, arrainging flowers, cooing over children). Either that, or it's just a commercial and I should really just relax.

You're an Oscar nominated actor, Michael Clarke Duncan. Why the fuck did you agree to do this movie? Now I'm wishing it was Ving Rhames...


Exactly. Here's more info on it from IMDB. People say you really have to force yourself to laugh at this craptastic stuff, lol.


JenEx - I understand! I bet you can't wait for him to hear the compliment that is "nobody fucks uncles quite like you!" Seriously - should be a rite of passage, man ;)

Is this the Dancing Penis ad you all are talking about?

http://www2.commercialcloset.org/cgi-bin/i...html?record=150?

PS. This sight is your one source for LGBT commercials.

It just makes me think of the band "Ween". Paintin' the town brown, etc...I thought Ween should provide the songs for UPS. Maybe "Captain Fantasy" from "The Pod". For UPS.
These Final Fantasy X-2 commercials are run nonstop on Comedy Central. As hot as Rikku is, that song that the main character (Yuna?) is singing is very generic. Simon Cowell wouldn't approve. Man, I wish Rikku was real.

They did the rejected Pizza Hut "Where'd the m-f-ing cheese go?" song that was linked here in November, right?

Yikes. He might be a stereotypical guy, but I never saw him as misogynistic. At any rate, you've got a 5100 lb truck that can tow somewhere around 9000 lbs with a 345hp engine. DVD players and a smooth ride are just gravy. So, the Hemi is the only thing the kid needs to remember. ;-)


You realize that you've stuck that song in my head now, right? And that it will take a lot out of me today to keep from telling off some idiot client by calling them an uncle fucker. I'll send my unemployment payment forms to you!


Not that I'm all desperate for an Atkins-solution, but aren't starch-carbs different in the Atkins from sugar-carbs. Something about glucose vs cellulose? Am I totally making this up? And that what THE fuck is an "Induction Phase"? Sounds like a fraternity prank.

Hi Tornado,
[OT] Carbs is carbs; the induction phase of Atkins tells you to try to keep below 20g of carbs per day for the first two weeks, then you can gradually ramp up. And even on Atkins, food full of nitrates and trans fats are still bad for the bod.

You know where they say "Ask your doctor before starting any weight loss plan"? Absolutely good advice. [/OT]

Which car commercial has been using the Who's "Happy Jack"?

Hee! That is so true. Publix had "low-carb" bread front and center at my store on Jan. 1; I sped right by it on my way to the deli and the sunflower bread. Now, back to our regular discussion...

Hummer is the car mfg. using the Who's "Happy Jack." Oh please quit mining the Songs of My Youth for advertising purposes. If I ever hear "Electric Ladyland" in an ad, I will be electing myself for self-checkout.

Low-carb bread? Something about that just strikes me as wrong.

Ack. I called him an asshole not because he was impressed with the truck's capabilities, but because he didn't want his wife talking sweetly to his young son. I think she was saying something like, "Sweetie, look how smooth the ride is," and his response was a typical sitcom dad, "Honey, what are you doing to him?" Like it would scar the baby if Mommy talks to him like he's, you know, a baby.

Oh, don't get me started on Publix. I bagged groceries there for nine months. We were actually required to watch the new commercials for Publix in the breakroom whenever a significant campaign was rolled out. The commercials are pretty much forgettable, nothing that makes me remember them. If they wanted to bring the people in, they should have me in my li'l blue shorts and apron helping a gorgeous lady out to her car. "Publix:Where the studs work".
Okay, I'm delusional.

I'm hearing songs by The Who in all kinds of ads - e.g., the overture from "Tommy" for Clarinex. They don't just get out there without the band's permission, now, do they? Pete, I'm glad you're rich, but I wish you'd stop.

Assholic behavior within the commercial or not, my take on this ad is that it's simply a gender flip on the old Secret "Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman" ads. You set up that mom's going to be happy with the truck, but then it's tough enough for dad. Everybody's happy. In that regard, it's pretty effective advertising. Too many auto commercials show the car skidding across a wet road (why is THAT going to make me buy it?), or show some post-teens bopping along to techno music. I give Dodge credit for conveying features/benefits in a way that sticks with the viewer.

Whoa, rosiebloom, not sure if you're kidding (hee! if you are), but no, our Dancing Penis is in fact a dancing tongue that just looks highly phallic. Someone posted a link ages ago, couldn't find it though.

Is it wrong that I've seen that so many times I now sing along to it? And that little pose that Yuna, Paine and Rikku do is really cute.


Hee! I can relate! Once my little 3 and a half year old cousin was lurking around during the 'Mr Hankey The Christmas Poo' where Cartman belted out 'Kyle's Mom Is A big Fat Bitch' in D Minor. We had to chase that little bleeder around all day to try and keep hin quiet as well as to get him to forget it (his mom was extremely scream and shouty - and she'd probably have throttled us to death)



This is just what i thought when I first saw it. I kept telling myself that it was prior to The Green Mile but didn't he have a regular gig on a soap opera then?

You think you got it bad? That song is on repeat in my brain. Need... relief...



Ah. There we go! "Shut your fucking face, uncle fucker! You're the one that fucked your uncle, uncle fucker! You're an uncle fucker, yes, it's true, nobody fucks uncles just like you!"

Much better.

absolutelyisis

While I don't know the specifics of Townsend's ownership of these songs- often times the record label retains rights to the song (or a particular performance or version of a song) and may 'rent' them to whatever company they like.

I believe that to be the case with Led Zepplins 'Rock & Roll' and Cadillac.

TNT has a new "Goodbye Girl" ad. I was starting to wonder if they'd written out the daughter. Nope, but it's very clear why they haven't made her prominent in the ad campaign. Even in this ad, it's just a quick shot, then her name on the nearly subliminal cast list flash at the end. Why have they been avoiding the issue? Three words: Hallie Kate Eisenberg. The horror.

Count me in on the Atkins hate. Local supermarkets are already offering low carb bagels and cookies. Thomas' and Keebler's can't be far behind. I have a hunch that low carb bread is regular bread in different packaging.

Oh my dog, I thought she went back to live in the land of the trolls. Damn.

I'm sure this has been discussed before, but why does the cotton industry feel the need to advertise The touch. The Feel. Of Cotton? Seriously. They always showed those commercials on TNBC and now during QEftSG. I don't get it. I'm going to buy a shirt because it's pretty, and unless it's made of steel wool the material doesn't make a huge diff. Hmm, ugly cotton shirt or pretty steel wool? Well, the commerical convinced me - it's cotton, baby!

rosiebloom, that is definitely not the dancing penis ad. The one we've dubbed that title has to do with Hi-C. That link is funny as hell though, and totally made my day. I'd say yours is a singing penis!

kathyk2


No, it's like a cross between angel food cake and a dish sponge. And they slice it to 1/8". It is OK toasted, though.

edited to say that's my last post about non-commercial topics here. Carry on.

What city, if you don't mind me asking?

BWAH!!! This just really cracked me up.

I also have the FF X-2 song in my head. I can sing it all, and if I'm not mistaken my 1 yr. old is trying to learn it. I haven't learned the words to the slower version though.

...I won't give in to it now. I know that forward is the only way my heart can go. I hear your voice calling out to me. You'll never be alone (do-do-dodododoooo)I'm sorry, I'll stop.

I've been watching a commercial with old people. One of those insurance commercials about old people leaving burial bill, you know. The thing that cracked me up for some reason though, was a particular old lady. She says "I'd like to leave my family money while I'm gone..." Excuse me granny? While your gone? Last I heard this would be a one way trip. You won't be back, sorry.

Augusta, about two blocks from the Augusta National. My only celebrity thrill was Arnold Palmer coming in during Masters Week this year. I think he bought a Milky Way.
We have this ubiquitous commercial for Comcast cable internet, where the family/friends schedule a intervention to get the guy to try the broadband, That sells itself. Believe me. I'm on dial-up and feeling the slow torture all the time.

That reminds me of the one with the guy delivering the office supplies to Rubberband Man in a timely manner (refilling the first aid box as the guy operating the heavy duty indutrial paper cutter is watching him instead of where his hand is).

Count me in on the Atkins hate as well. I think it's totally bogus but like those Subway wraps with cheddar cheese.