My mom doesn't think the Quizno's commercial is creepy. I think she just doesn't understand. It still kinda skeeves me out. But I did go to Quizno's and get a sub. It's pretty good - the chicken carbonara or whatever it's called. They do have a superior product - just not a superior commercial.

The Kirstie Ally Pier One commercials are back. In the new one, she tries to rearrange a woman's entire apartment to match her boyfriend. The weirdest part is that the whole time she's wearing a blue ball gown for no apparent reason. Come on, they spent that nickel already.

Thom from QEftSG starts in March. Hurrah!

I finally saw the emus...too cute....

I want to see the NIke one.

Count me among them. I've been reading all the post from folks who like them and thinking, "HUH?"
Shamrock Shakes=YUCH in my neck of the woods.

The best Geico ad ever is back--"Your ray is no match for Lord Gorlock."

I'd also noticed the Citibank identity theft ads back after a short absence. "My *girl* robot. Heehehehehe." Hee.

In a personal ad landmark, I finally saw the horrible tampon-as-boat-plug ad so many complained of a while back. Hmm. Boat plug could so easily be some other kind of plug entirely. Oh, well, I'm sure y'all know what I mean.

I also remember first thinking that either the kid had peed or was afraid that he was going to. After seeing the commercial again, the kid is looking cold and takes the comforter to the dryer to warm it up. That's why the mom is looking on with a smile instead of disgust. But the first few times, I swore it was a pee thing and was horrified. I hope enough people have told that company how misleading it is!

Tampon commercials squick me out. That one with the girl at the party, and the string of tampons because she drops her Tampax or whatever? Ew. And WHY, oh WHY, do they wear white? No one should wear white on their period. Ever.

Geico ads make me happy. They're so cute! That little gecko...Aww.

I have never, ever had a Shamrock Shake. Have they made a return? I may have to try it.

I just thought of Never Been Kissed. "People shouldn't wear white jeans after 1983."

Almost any Tampax commercial inspires hatred for me. The only one I halfway liked was the one where the women danced around in soft-focus to the repetitious chorus of "She's a pearl...she's a pearl girl..."

Wait, doesn't the kid whisper to the dog or stuffed animal or whatever, "Shh, don't tell mom," or something to that effect? Been a while since I've seen this one, but I thought there was something that actually indicated he'd wet the bed.

I cannot stand the new spate of Febreeze ads. Like, it wasn't enough to convince people they needed your stupid product, now that it sells, they have to try to convince everyone you need to like, spray the shit on everything in your damn house every single day or, apparently, you and your entire home will stink.

Call me crazy but what in the ever living fuck are the people in those ads doing that stink up every surface in their homes - the drapes? The closets?? The carpet? Lord help us, every seating surface? - so badly that they need daily chemical assistance to keep it from making big wafty stink waves?



If you read the great book Food Nation, it discusses how McCrap specifically, and other companies in general, target toddlers to create a lifetime brand identification. Stuff like their old website that told kids that Ronald McDonald was a higher authority than their parents. It also discusses some surveys that show that tiny kids who have been subject to their advertising can think that McDonalds is good for them to eat, that it's healty, etc. Great, really informative book.

He does, in fact, say "Shh, don't tell mom." There's also, at the begining of the ad, a shot of the urine stain spreading over the comforter. It is definately a "pee thing."

I realize that this is probably going to sound really dumb, but, in that US Weekly ad where the girl is talking about her boyfriend and says that he went all "Colin" on her, who is "Colin"? I can't figure it out. All I could think of was Colin Firth or Colin Mocherie, and neither of them make any sense.

Colin Farrell, maybe?

Oh. That makes sense. Thanks.

I believe the ad starts with the kid waking up from a nightmare that has scared the piss right out of him. Then he takes his peed-on comfortor and sticks it in the dryer. The whole commercial is icky and weird. Why doesn't his mom help him? Why is he so scared of mom finding out? Doesn't the whole house smell like hot pee now? Why on earth did anyone think this commercial would make me want to buy that dryer?

Word up, I've lived that book , Fast Food Nation, along with "Manifesto of a working stiff". (By somebody else, but along similar lines of truth-exposure.)
The "Baby Bottle Pop" commercials are back in the kids' shows in full force. Very weird, with the kids' heads morphing into baby heads.

Next up: The Febreeze Grenade!! Pull the pin, and run. Especially marketed for bachelors who don't have a lot of company over. And chronic farters.

So I thought about this, and I came up with a list: Smokers, people with smelly old pets, and the big market-- OCD sufferers.

Something about that tampon boat plug commercial drives me nuts: it's the way the girl talks. First she says the long "e" sound in "leak" ambiguously, so the guy thinks she said lake. Then she says it again. Ok, well and good. But she goes on to toss out "Okay!" with a perfect long "a", nothing like the munged up "e" sound. It doesn't fit and it grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrates.

And the "champions" Viagra ad, what is the dude dancing around about? Is it that he got laid? If so, why go through the trouble of putting your clothes back on if you're so excited--just run out there in a towel. Or naked, but not on my TV. Is it that he had a spectacular solo session? If so, ew. Is it that the he just got off the phone with the doctor, who said "Why yes, you can have Viagra, run on down to the Walgreen's and the scrip will be waiting there for you!"?

There's a new Honda Civic ad that bugs me too but now I can't recall why.

And every man in the neighborhood is celebrating in the very same way, which doesn't say good things about the town's water supply.

[Monica] I know! [/Monica] When I was a kid, I was certainly embarrassed by the occasional accident, but my mother never, ever made me feel like it was something I had to hide from her for fear of...I don't know what. (Plus, this was back in the days of drying clothes on a line in the backyard, anyway.) I can't imagine my mom secretly watching with amusement as I tried to cover up any kind of embarrassing slipup of mine, especially at that age, but my mom has always been a kindly soul.

Can someone remind me what the point of that commercial is again? The dryers run so silently that you won't wake up mom when you have an incontinence issue (unless she's on one of her midnight incontinence patrols again)? The dryers won't be contaminated with urine when you have an incontinence issue? Whaaaa?

I saw this ad with my best friend last night. The minute I saw the dryer, I turned to her and said "That's like porn for your mom".....her mom is crazy about laundry, making it her mission in life for every stain to come out and every piece of clothing to be perfectly new at all times. That dryer would blow her mind.....

And chiming in- I'm a smoker and use Frebreze all over everything if I'm having guests over. It makes the smoky scent subside into a fresh scent. That along with a few scented candles makes all the difference.

Normally I enjoy Snickers' commercials, but the one with the peanut-aholic dad and son at the ballgame really bugs me. It's so disgusting the way he gluttonously plows through bag after bag of nuts, spraying shells out of his mouth and eventually covering the kid in a mound of spent shells. Part of it is the way my husband eats them - by sucking all the brine from the shell before opening it. So I imagine the poor kid under a pile of spittle soaked shells...gross!

Word. Where the hell is she from that she has that accent? Who pronounce leak and gets it confused with lake? Grr.

And who carries the WHOLE box of tampons?!?!?

Dumb ass commercial.

"Make Febreeze part of your daily cleaning routine"

Daily? Routine? I don't even *tidy up* daily. I clean stuff when it's dirty, and that certainly isn't a daily occurance (other than the kitchen, of course).

I saw one of these at Home Despot the other day. Very cool.

I think the US commercial would be much better if she did mean Colin Mocherie.

I prefer Knights of the Dinner Table. You just can't beat the gazebo storyline. Also, I've known those people.

Saw the Dryer of the Gods commercial about an hour ago and I find myself coveting it, even though I'm not very domestic. It's just, The Ultimate Dryer.

See, I thought about smokers but... they can't smell it that much, if it bothers someone else in the house that much you'd think they'd smoke outside and if it's to the point of Febreezing your entire fucking house daily, there are more problems than smoking.

Similarly, if someone had a pet that stunk so bad they had to be Febreezing the drapes daily, get it a bath. Or a decontamination.

Your last suggestion though... I see! That's some targeted marketing there though. :)

As for the comforter-pee kid, I was always under the impression he put them in the washing machine. Is there some reason y'all are so convinced it's the dryer? I looked back again but I don't see that mentioned.

I thought it was the washer. With washers being front loading these days, it can be hard to know for sure.

I also assumed that Pee Boy was using the washer. But I like the idea of the Mom making nightly pee checks. Maybe the grin on her face means that she's thinking, "Ah, so you think this will keep me from locking you in the armoire for a week with only a bucket and your Children's Bible. Guess again, MacGuyver!"

Oh, I am totally going to mentally add "Mochrie" or "Firth" when the Us ad comes on. Hee. Neither fits for the meaning of the ad--who would complain about a guy becoming funny and charming?--but both are so vastly superior to Farrell that it will improve the ad for me, the home viewer.

My sister is one. She refers to them as "Peptmo-Bismo shakes".
I believe they taste like creme de menthe but I do love me shamrock shakes.

I think it's a conspiracy to sell Febreez.

I see the Febreze (or however the hell it's spelled) ads and all I can think is, "Oh look, that person wants to give me an asthma attack." One shot of that crap is enough to start me wheezing.

The one I loathe the most is where that girl sneaks into her roommate's bedroom's bathroom while her roomie is in the room making out with her bf. Everytime I see it I go uuugghhh especially due to the ending where she's just escaped into the hallway, having used a skateboard to make her quick getaway, and sits there grinning like a fool clutching her stolen tampons. No! No one does that!

My brothers and I would always joke about how they'd turn your poop green (I don't know this for a fact, they told me it did and I believed them.) I've never actually tried one myself, sounds gross.

Add my 3 year old to the McD's "Loving it" singers *sigh* Of course, she adds her own twist to it "I'm loving it! McDonald's makes me SICK!" And up yours, McD's - she doesn't like your new, improved "chicken" "nuggets", she preferred the beaks 'n assholes versions. Bwah!

Well, I've never seen a front-loading washer with a transparent door. And when the comforter is swirling around it doesn't look like there's any water in there. And he didn't put in any detergent.

well, they do make front load washers with clear doors (I'm using the shiny new one at my mom's as I type), but believe me, if that was the washer you'd at least see the water sploshing around against the door.

and how is it that the Mom just stands there and lets the kid bake in the pee stain? GROSS!!!!!!!

Okay, I was one of those persons who sprayed Febreeze in my dorm room every single day. There wasn't good ventilations in the bed rooms, and whenever anyone cooked the whole suite reeked of whatever they cooked. My first year there, I lived with this girl who cooked the nastiest smelling Indian food ever. And she cooked it three times a day! Suffice it to say, I would spray Febreeze all over the room, so that I wouldn't smell like Indian food when I went to class.

And so it was that I laughed thusly: Hahaha! There were some versions of the Life's Good But Our Dryer's Gonna Be Stinky ad with Mystery Purple Stuff, but then presumably the kid drank Mystery Purple Stuff after brushing his teeth, if he had a cup of MPS beside his bed. There wasn't any way to fanwank (anti-fanwank?) that commercial to come out right before, either.



I was beginning to feel obligated to buy one because I must have been remembering them wrongly. Ubi's post left me curious to mix a little creme de menthe into them, but then I never was a creme de menthe fan either.

When I had to get my car repaired a couple of months ago, it came back smelling like a dive bar. I used the car version of Febreeze, and after airing out my car by leaving the windows open for a day and washing all non-Febreezable surfaces, the car recovered. It helped a little, but it didn't work better than Windex and water, and the scent of "fake new car smell" was overpowering when I sprayed it. So many lies in the commercial, so little time…

I have seen the cable pigs. I didn't associate the pigs with the dish technology, and I thought the pig snuffling at the dollar bill under the chair was cute. Only… who would have left a dollar bill on the perfectly clean floor, under a chair? Even the biggest slobs I've ever met or seen on Queer Eye didn't leave money on the floor. The plot hole in the commercial didn't detract at all from the cuteness of the pigs or the very good point about the rising cost of mass-marketed entertainment, which I noticed when I cancelled cable last summer to save money.

I finally saw the Swiffer ad with Alice, Rosario, Benson et al. I liked it so much more than the insulting "cleaning is so much fun, you'll do everybody's house" ad.

If you liked Fast Food Nation, have you read Nickel and Dimed? In addition to the good points about cheap labor, it had snark. The posters in this thread and its previous incarnations already have covered some of the book's good points in discussing Wal*Mart's "How I can help you?" commercial.

Febreeze...I love Febreeze. The only commercial I remember seeing for it, however, was a long time ago, with the guy who comes home from work and opens his door, steps inside, steps back outside, shuts the door, opens his door, etc., and the dog looks at him funny.

I'm not liking the Febreeze commercial with the girl doing push-ups and finds herself in the love with the Febreeze smells and sprays some more to sniff it up. Too inhalant for me.

Ooh, that reminds me! Last night I saw this very trippy PSA about how huffing can kill you so don't do it. Then immediately after, they show the push-up/rug sniffing commercial. Classic juxtaposition right there. I laughed my ass off.

I love Shamrock Shakes! I can't believe there are people out there who think they're gross but more for me.

I'm glad I live in one of the few markets where they still have them.

Ha! Killed by huffing Febreeze out of the carpet - how embarrassing!

For the Shamrock Shake virgins: if you like mint chip ice cream, you will probably like a Shamrock Shake.

Has anybody mentioned the "Kitchen Fresh Chicken" ad yet? WTF? It's kind of like when they changed "Super Sugar Crisp" to " Super Golden Crisp". Oh - so it's good for me now? Yeah right - same crap, new name.

The "Kitchen Fresh Chicken" ads bug me so much. It makes me miss Montreal, where it's (I think) "PFC" instead of "KFC". No Kitchen Fresh Chicken up there!

I don't think we have Shamrock Shakes here in Dallas. I should go on a search for them.

I think the most evil commercial ever is the Chips Ahoy commercial with the little cookie at the table at a birthday party and when he asks, "Where's the cake?" the little girl giggles and says, "We're not having cake." And the little cookie looks around and has an "oh shit" face. I cringe everytime I see it.

Who thinks of this stuff?

I hate that chips ahoy commercial. seriously, why invite the cookie to the party, knowing you're going to eat it? it's so cruel. they even gave him a freakin' party hat.

it's weird how much this commercial gets to me...

The cookie is so happy! He's so excited to be at that little bitch's birthday party! And he's so excited to get a piece of presumably non-sentient cake.
Then the little girl giggles at him as she intimates he will soon be killed and subsequently eaten by the party guests he had been singing with just a moment earlier.
It is sick. Is it targeted to cannibals and/or sadists? Because who else sees the crestfallen cookie and thinks, "I need an entire bag of those immediately?

Speaking as a member of that market, I'd so love a Febreeze Grenade. I Febreeze the couch every once in a while. And it can take, literally, minutes at a time. These are valuable minutes I could spend playing video games. I very much need the convenience of the Febreeze Grenade.


Yeah, but you're talking about people who want nothing more than to eat candy and chocolate cake all day long. Comapred to what toddlers want to eat, McDonald's is health food. I mean, a cheeseburger has four major food groups (if you count the ketchup). So yeah, it is better for them than Pixie Stix.


See, that sort of stuff doesn't bug me. The point of the commercial is that their product works so well, you can wear white. Same with paper towel commercials. No one minds spills or little Timmy spraying soda across the kitchen because it's so easy to clean up. It's not realistic, but it communicates the message, so it doesn't bug me.

"I waste it with my crossbow!"

Anyhow...I have vowed never to watch Sci Fi's Mad Mad House, based on the fact that their relentless round-the-clock merciless barrage of promos has driven me frickin' insane. I charted it during today's Quantum Leap marathon, and they're running spots four times per hour. As they have been doing for, what, three months now? Yet they couldn't show this kind of support for Farscape?

The only person I can think of who would bring an entire box of tampons anywhere would be a Girl Scout leader or other adult accompanying a big group of preteen/teenage girls.
And that doesn't seem to be the case in the Tampax Pearl ad.
Very weird.