It's Clay Aiken talking about growing up in NC watching Andy Griffith.

Dunno how they're working on the teens, but my 45 year old husband quit smoking after 20-some years after seeing the Truth ad about no one replacing the girl's dad (who had died from emphysema).

I remember this one. I realize they probably have to put in the disclaimer so it doesn't look like they support crazy anti-nicotine activists destroying magazines in stores, but yeah, it really doesn't make much sense to rip the ads out of your own magazines. Especially if there's a good article on the other side!

I'm not familiar with the Sullivan tires ad, Bigwheel1971, but my brain is still befuddled from the upteenth viewing of the Crabtree Auto Park ad that seems to be stalking me.

Things keep dropping on the guy on the left while the other says "it's not 4,000 ___, Tony" as water, eggs, flour and I can't remember what else keep falling. WTF? The one not covered in shit is apparently easily amused as he keeps cracking up while reading his lines.

It's hard to believe anything could make Bob and She Bob look professional in comparison.

I didn't start smoking in response to those ads, but I always want to light up right after one of those commercials, because they are so damn in-your-face about it. The worst ones are the ones in "Crazyland" or whatever. Those suck. But that's my opinion as a smoker.

What I hate about the "replacement smoker" ads is that the girl is basically saying that she hasn't met ANYONE that has started smoking in the past 6 years. Since she looks about high school age, I highly doubt that. Everyone smoking in high school started in the past 6 years.

My cable company has been running an ad package (obviously bought, since they also do their own ads, which are... pathetic) for digital cable. They are done as continuations of the ad series DirectTV had last year with the dish installer. The production value isn't half bad, and it's been long enough since the DirectTV ads ran that the actors and sets look like a pretty good match to the original ads. What's weird (and driving me batty) is that there is something off in the way the actors deliver their lines. They... take... these... long... pauses... between.... lines. It's like they couldn't write enough script to fill the 30 seconds, so the director told the actors to just stare at each other between each sentence. I think the director learned his/her craft on Seventh Heaven or something. It's making me crazy because these ads are running constantly.

Another ad my cable company bought and is trying to overplay to get their money's worth is for cable internet service. Couple is hosting kid's birthday party. Wife turns to goofy-looking husband and asks when the clown will arrive. Husband guiltily sneaks off to the computer. We watch him surf the net while voiceover tells us how fast cable modems are... meanwhile, we see computer screen with "Loading......" to show just how zoomin' fast it is. Next scene, clown is at party, wife asks when pony will arrive.

Okay, my big question: I have a cable modem, yet I have never been able to download an actual human being into my house, in a clown suit or otherwise. Do I have the wrong brand of printer?

I saw that ad today and guffawed when the woman wondered why her date is still single and they cut to the McDonald's sign. Yep, that explains it.

I love the DOOMED ads.

The ads for Starsky And Hutch: The Movie. So many kinds of wrong. Paul Michael Glaser is the only Starsky worth watching. Nice to see they are bringing back the Red Tomato though.

BWAH! I may never stop laughing... So that's the deal, they're changing the guy completely? Good. Although, I don't much care for the look of the new guy either. In fact, I don't like most of the illustrated characters that represent products. Particularly, the ones who are meant to resemble real people. Case in point: Mr. Clean. When they see fit to turn him into a life-size cartoon character, I see fit to freak the hell out. Why? Because he looks like an evil djinn, that's why.

Maybe people are then supposed to see how little magazine they have left. Personally, I'm fine with ciggy companies advertising in magazines to me; I'm not going to smoke, so they can go ahead and waste their money trying to get me to.

I have mixed feelings about the Truth commercials. Some of them I like, some of them are beyond stupid. I liked the Super Bowl glass pops commercial a lot but most of the recent one have been awful.

I actually like this ad, and I took it differently. The cigarette companies call their new customers "replacement smokers" but the girl hasn't had a replacement for her dead dad yet -- as in, a person who takes care of her and loves her and is her father and all that. The point is that the people who die from tobacco-related illnesses are only money to the cigarette companies, that the companies don't care if it is Joe or Sally buying the cigarettes as long as they get the money. If Joe dies and Sally starts smoking, "Big Tobacco" is just as happy. But little Amy, Joe's daughter, cares a great deal. I think that was the point, at least.

You know what commercial I hate? The geeky Quaker Oats commercials, with the "real people" talking about the types of outmeal they like. The people are just so lame and embarrassing.

You could only see these commercials in Michiana, or perhaps Southern, SouthWestern Michigan, but I loved the "Deer Forest" ads for this little Michigan attraction, I believe it's in Coloma. A real simple commercial, with a jingle that goes something like, IIRC: "Feed the deer, ride a pony, feed the deer and ride again, feed the deer, eat a hotdog, feed the deer and ride again.."
It was really catchy and anybody from there will break into a smile at the mention of it.
And then there's the Captain John Derst bread commercials, with the CGI bread truck man, rappin' away...ugh! Ugh! It's too bad I really love the bread, and they don't need to tell me it exists.

God, no, it isn't just you. Those boxes/bags can't be opened neatly without a sharp hunting knife and a pair of scissors.

Re: the DOOMED ad (what's it for again? FedEx?) Anyhow, I used to have the biggest crush on the dark-haired guy (he's kind of balding now) when he was on All My Children I really liked him. Just for fun, I looked him up on imdb: his name is Matt Servitto and he actually did a lot of television, including a recurring part on The Sopranos.

The FedEx DOOMED! commercial is great. Totally riffing on Shatner as Kirk and Star Trek. Love how the woman keeps eyeing them like they're insane.

I hate, hate, hate this new Mentos commercial where a guy gets frenched by a dog because his breath is so minty fresh. Blech.


Do you mean kibitzing?

I think most of The Truth ads are good, but I'm a non-smoker who finds cigarettes absolutely disgusting. My grandfather died of emphysema, having taken up smoking in the Navy during WWI. He died when his throat completely closed up. My father started and quit twice. He had to have an operation last year and they discovered that even though he stopped 20 years ago his lung capacity was only half what it should be. I'd heard him wheeze my whole life and thought it was just because he was overweight and didn't excercise. He had to go on advair before they could perform the surgery and now he's on it permanently. As is the 36 year old receptionist at work because she's already got the beginnings of emphysema from starting in high school. There is no cure. She decided to stop when they discovered that because she wants to see her kids grow up.

Cool ad last night while watching the Red Wings lose pathetically to evil Colorado: Kids birthday party. Blindfolded little girl is swinging at a pinata. Cut to mom, screaming "Higher! No, left! You're embarressing me, that's not how we practiced it, terrible form..." etc., wrapping up with "I can't believe I skipped Pilates for this! Find your own ride home!" and stomps out, with all the little kids and parents staring at her. Cut to black screen, with "If it's not ok here, it's not ok at the game." It was put out by USA Hockey, I believe. Thought it was a nifty way of getting the message across without being preachy. Plus, it was funny.

That's where I disagree. it's not the cigarette company's job to care about a "replacement Dad", unless, of course, they are a subsidiary of Replace-A-Dad (™ SNL). :-)

I think that's the word, yes. :-)

"Kivitching": it's half kibitz, half kvetch - oy gavult!

Aaaanyway - Topic! For any other nerds like me who watched the recent dog show - the K-9 Advantix commercial with the canine take on "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah" ... so kitschy, yet adorable. I think the voice casting has a lot to do with it's appeal, though that puppy is pretty damn cute too.

Just wanted to clarify on my previous post about anti-smoking ads not being effective. Obviously, I realise that the girl I heard saying that she was convinced to take up smoking by those posters and ads was being sarcastic - I just thought I'd post it to contribute to what other posters here were basically saying (sarcastically, as well). I know nobody could possibly be that stupid.

So, yeah, I'm not knocking them. Honestly, I think Truth ads are kind of effective - not that I didn't know smoking was bad for you to begin with, it's just that some examples they use are so extreme that you can't help but remember them (the ones that sre drilled into my brain are the one with the body bags and the one with the little piles of poop). I just thought it would be funny to show that it's not just us commercial-obsessed posters that are saying this, but other people are mimicking our little bouts of sarcasm too ;)

Dear Dish Network:

I'd like you to know that characterizing your sworn enemies (i.e., digital cable) as pigs is not going to convince me to sign up for your service.

Furthermore, portraying digital cable using both actual pigs and a remake of "Who Let the Dogs Out?", a song whose success the rest of the world has agreed was a pop culture brain fart, will do nothing short of driving me into the arms of digital cable for a torrid affair that will end only in heartbreak.

Fuck you,
Justin

Oh, and I was so set on signing up for Dish Network after that asshat guy from DirecTV.

Cool! Now I'll be on the lookout, but with my luck, VH1 won't air "I Love the 80s" again for a long time.

And speaking of anti-smoking ads, they have one that is Ohio based called "Stand". The ones I keep seeing are the ones where the Stand kids go to NYC to be on TRL and to give petitions to the MTV bosses. These petitions state that they don't want to see smoking in music videos. In one, they call the MTV people to say that they want to give these petitions to them and they end up hanging up on them and they also get led out of the building by security. In the next one, they basically do the same thing except this time, they run out of the building with glee and yell, "We did it! They took the petitons!" Every time I see this, I keep yelling "They only took them to shut you the fuck up and to go away!"

And I am one of the ones in the "These Ads Make Me Want To Start Smoking But I Don't Actually Do It" boat.

Dish Network ads are the absolute worst. Especially the BingoTV ones with the stupid guy that looks/acts like a cross between Carrot Top and the mute guy from Penn & Teller (don't remember which is which) - go away already! I will not sit around for 3 hours playing bingo on Wednesday nights!

Uh, has anyone actually tried this? If so, let me know what is involved in BingoTV, lol.

Has anyone seen Zora in the Nutrisystem ads? She is way too skinny, she looks like a skeleton. That is all.

All you soapers who caught Cass Winthrop in that acid reducer commercial last year, you need to help me out again: I saw this Profina debt commercial with an older, auburn-haired woman, and it looks like Denise Alexander from General Hospital and Another World. Can anyone else verify this? I've been seeing this ad in rotation on SoapNet.

I love the Expedia.com commercials. Every single one makes me laugh. My favorite is the one where the parents are planning a vacation for them and their two small sons and the father suggests a hunting cabin in the woods. The mother imagines their boys freaking out and holding each other screaming everytime they see one of the stuffed animal heads on the walls. I know I'm twisted but that was damn funny.

Agatha Part 2 put a warning label on that link! I'm gonna have nightmares!

I know we were discussing the merits of being named Jenny and having the number 867-5309 while we were on the topic of that cell phone ad that was demonstrating why you need to keep your cell phone number (Cingular?).

Well, now you can be the proud owner of 867-5309 in the Manhattan area for the cool [current] price of $21,000 thanks to EBAY. With 6 freakin' days left on the auction too!

*not recommended for people NOT named Jenny.

Okay, this commercial with the roommates (for T-Mobile's Family Talk plan) is just funny. My mom once thought about taking in a boarder when we were having some financial trouble and this commercial solidified my reasoning that some people are gross and at least family grossness can be put up with, but strangers? A world of no.

But the brother's roommate is HOT!

I don't know if this qualifies for the commercial thread because the entire "product" is wrong, but I just saw a commercial for a new reality show that has a woman on an island with a bunch of guys lusting over her and she has to pick one. Typical, these days, right? But the twist is that some of the guys are gay. If she picks a straight one, they share a million dollars, but if she picks a gay one, he gets the whole million to himself. On the ad, she's sitting with one guy and says "I don't believe you'd kiss me if you were gay" and so, of course the guy kisses her (only one of the various tests she puts the guys through to tell if they're gay or not).

This is wrong on so many levels, I don't know where to start.

What I want to know is why the guy she picks wouldn't just say he was gay (whethere he is or not) to get the whole million to himself? He can have anybody he wants for that money.

My absolute favorite is the one where a couple is booking a trip to a tropical island or something. It's the one where they're in a bed with mosquito netting, while bugs of all sizes and breeds are attacking. It's the guy freaking out that gets me the most. His reaction while he's trying to swat off bugs is priceless. Kills me every time.

They probably have to establish themselves as gay or straight to the producers of the show before the taping starts, just for the reason.

The 867-5309 number on ebay is just hilarious. And it's so funny that it's gotten up to that much money (It's up to $25000). My sister almost got it for our area code, but my mom wouldn't let her, since she was afraid a bunch of losers would call her.

I saw the commercials for Straight Plan for the Gay Man for the first time last night. It looks funnier than it is insulting, but that's just from my perspective. They take the gay guy to a strip club and get him a lap dance. The expression on his face is just priceless, he looks horrified!

Why do people think that petitions have any legal binding value? Sorry, one of my pet peeves.

On topic? Mmm, lots of pretty going on in the new fructise danderuff ad. I wonder if he needs someone to help wash his hair?

Has anyone seen the "Zero Gravity Chair"? Does it work? All those testamonials about a "sling". Hmm.

But, that is the point. It is a product, that used as designed, will be the primary contributing factor to a person's death. The fact that this company puts out this product and doesn't care who dies, as long as they are replaced, earns a great deal of scorn and a total lack of respect.

Okay, I'm not sure if this has been posted yet, but here it goes.

What the hell kind of creatures are singing in the Quizno's ads?

Not only are they incredibly ugly, they are HYSTERICAL to listen to! I go around the house and start singing, "Eat Quizno's Subs!" Poor Mr. Pee_Truck. I am sure he's tired of it. ;-)

Any ideas?

Well, yeah, those Quizno's spongemonkeys have already been discussed ad nauseum, but it might be more than 15 pages back. This topic moves fast!

Fructise Dandruff Shampoo ad: YUCK! I don't care if he is pretty! My eyes could not see past the shower of white flakes coming off that guy's head.

Sorry to go back a few pages, but reading about past PSAs brought to mind that pear-shaped cartoon man with the top hat and cane. He was all about nutrition, I guess, and sang about making frozen orange juice cubes with toothpicks. Did he have a name? Also, weren't there characters for salmonella (Sam and Ella?) or am I just crazy?

Cal331, OMG!! I finally saw the Fructis dandruff ad. I was eating pizza and was shaking parmesan cheese on top. I nearly made myself ill.

Ah, but if you get digital cable, you have to put up with ads characterizing dish owners as idiots who can't figure out that maybe if you bolt it down, it won't move around.

As well as idiots living in doublewides who put their dish in front of a tree and end up pruning off almost all the branches so they can watch The Sopranos. In that (cable = a pig running amuck in the house) ad, I keep half expecting the mother to exclaim "Cable turned our son on to smoking and raped our daughter!". Enough of the melodramatic hyperbole, please.

Hmm, can't say I have.

That would be Timer. He also hankers for a hunk of cheese. Y'know, I can't imagine a character like Timer being used in a contemporary PSA. The modern Timer would wear a Kangol hat and ride a snowboard and be XTREME! because kids today are so hep. No pear-shaped vaudevillians for them!

Last night during Alias there was a commercial for the Ford Freestar.

Who is the actress who does the voiceover?

Her voice is very recognizable, but I can't put my finger on who it is, and it is driving me crazy.

Thanks in advance.

Is it Kate Mulgrew? Haven't seen the ad, but I have heard her do voice-overs for Ford.

Okay, did anyone not do this?

My friend's cousin always said "Screw being a junkie, I want to be a drug dealer when I grew up. Do you know how much money they make?"

We were messed up kids.

Word on the Fructis dandruff. I saw that last night and it's disgusting. If I hadn't won a bunch of free Fructis products (I was trying to win a car!) I would ban them. I don't think I'll be paying for their stuff anymore though.

Saw a commercial for the Phillips defibrillator last night. I'm confused - first they say that a large percentage of people who have a sudden heart attack showed no signs/symptoms of heart disease beforehand. Then they show that the defibrillator is available by prescription only. well, if you've never shown signs of heart disease before, why would the doctor prescribe one for you?

I'm also confused by the woman in the commercial - did she hang up on 911?

Well, I guess if you have a familly history of heart disease they could perscribe one for you. This seems like a bad idea though...how many 12-year-olds do you think are going to find one in Daddy's study and decide to "Play ER" with disasterous results? Shouldn't it be enough to get yourself and your familly trained in CPR?

Wouldn't it make more sense to go to a company that actually shows videos? Maybe they should go to MTV with a petition to get them to actually have videos again.[/bitter]




Fructis could show the most disgusting commercials ever, they could combine Clairol Herbal Essences, Quiznos' "Raised by wolves" and "spongemonkeys" and I would still use their product. It's the best thing that has ever happened to my hair.

That is indeed Kate Mulgrew who does the voiceover at the end.

I finally saw the Pepto Bismol Diarrhea Dance commercial. <rant>I have a question. When did it get to be ok to be so vulgar in commercials? I never got the memo. I'm not that old, but I remember the days when you never saw people chewing gum in gum commercials. Why is it suddenly ok for this kind of crassness? </rant>