JHeaton
Feb 6, 2004 @ 4:38 pm
Interestingly, the total dollar value of Halliburton's contracts with the US government went
down after Chaney was elected. At least, that was true through FY2002. I haven't seen any figures for FY 2003 yet. AT any rate, Halliburton isn't even in the top 30 government contractors. The number one contractor, Lockheed Martin, had contracts totalling $22.87 billion, as opposed to Halliburton's comparatively meager $689 million.
See for yourself at govexec.com. None of this makes their billing practices any less odious, of course. Now, stop making me defend these corporate scumbags before I start advocating a flat tax or something.
As for the cruddy commercials: hey, they're not used to having to advertise their services on TV. Their next ass-covering/image-enhancing ad will be better.
chris2
Feb 6, 2004 @ 4:41 pm
I've also seen the offensive ad the government has spent millions on promoting the new Medicare bill. Apparently, seniors can save on prescription drugs . . . as early as 2006! Wow. Too bad a lot of them will be dead by then.
Bateman
Feb 6, 2004 @ 4:44 pm
The ad for GE with the Neo-style dog had me covering my eyes because I felt so uncomfortable. I don't know if its new or old, but I've seen it a couple of times since yesterday, and it is absolutely god-awful. Terrible CGI and parodying the Matrix is so 4 years ago. Blech!
(On the other hand, I love the Quizno's puppets ad..)
Penfold
Feb 6, 2004 @ 4:56 pm
Terrible CGI and parodying the Matrix is so 4 years ago.
Word. Way to hit these cultural phenomena at the height of their popularity, GE! Any Blair Witch jokes while you're at it?
boomersmommy
Feb 6, 2004 @ 7:03 pm
Takes me back to the old "I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV" and I remember how dumb those were too.
Ah,the memories. Those were done by Peter Bergman, who played Dr. Cliff Warner on "All My Children" at the time and now plays Jack Abbott on "Young & Restless." I'd love to see him do a "I'm not a cosmetics company executive, but I play one on TV" just for old times' sake.
Eliot
Feb 6, 2004 @ 7:38 pm
Weren't they also done by the guy who played Rick Webber on General Hospital? I've forgotten his name, but I remember getting all excited at the time because I was a big GH fan.
cal331
Feb 6, 2004 @ 8:29 pm
When they charge for the food they produce for "the troops" (hate that phrase- I am not a troop)
That has always confused me. To my mind, a troop should be a quantity of soldiers, not an individual. But I know next-to-nothing when it comes to military terminology, so I'll not argue.
Why have I never seen the Spongemonkeys? The TV is on like, non-stop in our house
and I gotta watch TV for my bread and butter, and I still haven't seen them, or the GE Matrixed Lassie. Even people in other threads
(Scarred for Life) have seen them. *Pout.*
aurora
Feb 6, 2004 @ 8:35 pm
I haven't seen the spongemonkeys either, and don't know what to expect - people hate them, but I lurve those VH1 kittens.
I saw the GE commercial 50 times yesterday and still don't understand what NinjaLassie has to do with anything.
Jeebus Cripes
Feb 6, 2004 @ 9:02 pm
Oh, for the love of God, why
Sleestak Hunter?!?! You made an open invitation in the "Scarred for Life" thread to discuss the Quizno's commercial. So I come here, only to find you've posted a PICTURE of those heinous spongemonkeys! What the hell are you trying to do? Give me an attack? My heart hasn't stopped palpitating since I saw that. And that was like 15 minutes ago! And then a couple of pages later.. there it was again! Holy crap! ::Think good thoughts... think good thoughts...:: Oh man, I won't be able to sleep tonight for sure. For some reason that image fucked me up worse than the actual commercial. Oh, crap, those spongemonkeys are going to be seared into my brain forever and the day after that! I'll never be ever to repress this.
The Snuggle bear has never been cute. It always makes me think of those dorky/scary "ventriloquist-dummy comes to life and kills people" movies. It's soulless eyes clutch at my soul and try to drag me into hell every time it pops on the screen.
-roosterboy That's it. I'm never sleeping again. I've done more in one day to fuck up my psyche than the past 21 yrs combined. ::think good thoughts... think good thoughts::
ladyDonna
Feb 6, 2004 @ 9:21 pm
Like
Jeebus Cripes, I turned to this thread to find comfort after being scarred by the horrible Quizno mutant spokes-vermin. Honestly, they're so disgusting that I now equate Quizno's with nausea. But they do succeed in the "Made you look!" department.
OK, topic: Regarding those Quizno's spongemonkey things, I'm puzzled as to what the Quizno's folks were thinking. You'd think that after the raised-by-wolves commercial campaign (which seemed to be aimed at the wolf teat fetishist crowd), Quizno's would try to mount a surefire campaign to entice folks to try their sandwiches rather than to make viewers sustain hand and wrist injuries from trying to change the channel too quickly. Instead, with the spongemonkeys, Quizno's seems to have succeeded in alternately confusing and horrifying most of the viewing audience; and while the commercials do amuse some people, the spongemonkeys apparently aren't making anybody particularly hungry.
It all kind of makes me miss the good ol' suckled-by-wolves commercial. No, wait . . . no it doesn't. Whew.
Word to
Sideshow Al. Well put.
Vampires? Going *to* a garlic-themed restaurant?
As long as they were invited in, they should be OK.
, this? Is so funny.
hagreene80
Feb 6, 2004 @ 9:56 pm
Why have I never seen the Spongemonkeys?
Go to
Quiznos to see the Buck the System ad campaign and a "lost" spongemonkey song. (Seven wonders of the world...)
Also, if you go to
rathergood.com you can see the Spongemonkeys in the original form and also the VH1 kitties, which Joel Veitch is responsible for.
aurora
Feb 6, 2004 @ 10:19 pm
I spoke too soon. Since I posted two hours ago, I've seen the commercial twice. And although those things are ubercreepy looking, it cracked my shit up. But I'm sure it will get annoying soon. And it doesn't make Quizno's any more appealing to me.
glstx
Feb 6, 2004 @ 10:53 pm
I saw the spongemonkeys tonight too. Scary, just scary. What in the hell were they thinking?
Also, I kept seeing over and over a Kleenex commercial with a very creepy clown. I guess kids like clowns, but me.. they just creep me out
Jamoche
Feb 7, 2004 @ 12:51 am
I've never met anyone who liked clowns when they were kids, so why *do* adults and ad agencies think kids like clowns? Don't they remember their childhood?
Jazzmyn1372
Feb 7, 2004 @ 1:52 am
On the
Quiznos site, has anyone clicked on the screensaver. I would but I'm frightened.
Oh yeah, topic, I'm liking the new SBC ad with Joe Pesci.
Ernos
Feb 7, 2004 @ 1:56 am
Yeah, seriously. What IS there to like about clowns? Personally, I always loathed anyone, be they clown, school photographer, or overenthusiastic babysitter, who tried to make me smile as a kid.
I think adults are just trying to perversely inflict their childhood traumas on the next generation with ads like that.
Vermicious Knid
Feb 7, 2004 @ 2:52 am
Spokes-vermin, hee!
The spongemonkeys must die.
One of the most disturbing things, to me anyway, is how the eyes expand and contract randomly and completely independent of each other.
skittl3862
Feb 7, 2004 @ 4:08 am
Ok, this is a local commercial, but it's so annoying that I have to post it. It's this furniture store and the guy is talking about how it's SOOO much better to buy your SO furniture for Valentine's Day then flowers or something. He's like "Why get them a $9 bouquet when you can get them a $99 mantel clock?" or something. Um, there are so many things wrong with that statement. First of all, a bouquet of flowers on Valentine's Day is going to cost A LOT more than $9. Oh, and what says romance more than A CLOCK?
Ugh, I just had to get that off my chest. I've seen it twce tonight and it was two times too many.
quickychick
Feb 7, 2004 @ 6:37 am
Aw, I cannot believe the monkey love isn't being universally felt. Ever since
MyKaleidoscope provided the link, I've shown the spongemonkeys to everyone in my office (save the boss) and 99% of them now randomly and spontaneously break into "we like the MOOOOOOOOOON. coz it is CLOOOOOSE toooo uUUSSSSS" hee. By the power of Castle Spongemonkey, I HAVE THE POWER! suckers.
Topic?
This makes me very sad. And a lot more frightened than any spongemonkey ever could.
eta: on the Quiznos site, the spongemonkeys look kinda sluggish. They're much better in their peppier, original form on rathergood.com. They got no pepper bar.eata: I dl'ed the Quiznos screensaver. It's an abomination of all that is spongemonkey greatness. It's been replaced by Terry Tate bouncing heads.
cal331
Feb 7, 2004 @ 11:03 am
Looks like my McDonald's boycott is having no effect. Guess we can get ready for a hundred more versions of the odious 'Lovin' It' spots. :(
Sikamikanico
Feb 7, 2004 @ 12:00 pm
RE Spongemonkeys: The first time I saw this commercial, my reaction was a mix of repulsion and heart-palpitating fear. The next couple of times my anxiety eased and I found it kind of entertaining (and line "We like their subs, 'cause they are good to us" gets an "awww" out of me). The teeth still creep me out though because there is just something wrong about them.
thinkcwik
Feb 7, 2004 @ 12:46 pm
Gotta say it: Spongemonkeys, I'm loving it. McD's "I'm loving it" campaign brings the hate. How can that crap increase sales? Stupid consumers influenced by stupid commercials. We like their subs, 'cause they're good to us... What? It's a catchy tune.
Strawberryblonde
Feb 7, 2004 @ 1:06 pm
spongemonkeys
Why is it that every time I see this word I read it as "spoogemonkeys"? Ewwwww.
Alexandria Bay
Feb 7, 2004 @ 1:08 pm
The Outback ad with the Red Hair Xtreme...it's been around for awhile and has recently come back. I like it. "I can/t go out like this!" The husband's face when he sees it. "I guess we're not going to the Outback." "I'll get my coat." Heh. That would be me--nothing gets between me and my bloomin' onion.
Since no post would be complete lately without a reference--spongemonkey. Also, ITA with the poster upthread who said Quiznos should go back to talknig baout how much better their subs are than everyone else's.
absolutelyisis
Feb 7, 2004 @ 1:10 pm
I have seen the spongemonkeys, and I am scared.
ChinkyGirl
Feb 7, 2004 @ 1:13 pm
The hell? That Quizno's Buck the System concept is too bizarre. I don't know about the rest of you, but if I printed out one of the "coupons" from their site ("buy one pencil, get two free!" and brought it in to them, I would be seriously embarrassed! Even if I brought in a real coupon from another store, I would be embarrassed, lol.
And what's the point? Are the employees going to use those coupons and get spa discounts and stuff? I smell a scam here...or else a very poor promotion ;)
Oh, and for those of you relieved to have the current ad for Friends off the air b/c the episode has aired already, think again! They're actually showing Phoebe's bachlorette party ep. again this Tues., complete with the "Hotttt!" that everyone hates ;)
Cleo256
Feb 7, 2004 @ 1:28 pm
"Why get them a $9 bouquet when you can get them a $99 mantel clock?" or something. Um, there are so many things wrong with that statement.
Heh. "Show your special someone that you really care with a $179 XBox"
I've got another ad to hate: Bon Macy's. Man and Woman are on the couch, the TV is on but they're not really watching, and things are getting romantic. Woman excuses herself for a second, intending to put on something sexy, I guess. Then, as she's leaving the room, an ad comes on the TV reminding her of the one day sale at Bon Macy's. Well, she just has to sneak out the door and get there. So when she finally gets back, with armloads of bags, she finds Man has fallen asleep on the couch.
We always knew stores tried to tell us shopping was better than sex, but now they're out-and-out saying it.
In the good commercial category: Sterling Savings Bank's "things that don't fit" campaign. The best is the little girl coaching a pro football team. She's got white stockings and a pretty pink jacket, and is all of 7 years old. And she's out there shouting at her player for screwing up, throwing her headset to the ground and kicking it, and being snarky to the ref. Hilarious!
suekel
Feb 7, 2004 @ 1:41 pm
While I also hate the Quizno's spongemonkey ads, with those creepy little....things, there is something about the line "They got a pepper baaaaaar!!" that cracks me up.
Jamoche
Feb 7, 2004 @ 1:41 pm
Heh. "Show your special someone that you really care with a $179 XBox"
Hey, I'll take that over flowers or a diamond any day (and yes, I am female).
indybear
Feb 7, 2004 @ 2:10 pm
I love the spongemonkeys and their "coupons" - hey, it's a dollar off! And I remember when the Viking kittens were icons, instead of the VH1 kittens. I've seen many generations of weirdness at rathergood.com.
Sideshow Al
Feb 7, 2004 @ 2:19 pm
Re: The Mitsubishi vs. Toyota freeway obstacle course ad (for which it was established a few pages back that the accompanying song is "Ballroom Blitz"). Has anyone gone to the website to "see what happens"? I've thought about checking it out; but if I logged on and waited a long time on my super-slow dialup connection only to find that all that "happens" is one car evades the obstacles better than the other, well, I'd be pissed. The way I see it, Mitsubishi had better make their website commercial ending a hell of a lot more worthwhile than that; maybe they could end it with an alien intervention or with the revelation that the new Mitsubishi can fly a la Doc Brown's time-travelling Delorean from
Back to the Future.
Looks like my McDonald's boycott is having no effect. Guess we can get ready for a hundred more versions of the odious 'Lovin' It' spots. :(
Yeah,
cal331, I boycotted too, and to no avail. On the bright side, I have been losing weight since I stopped going there; and moreover, I think that the fries-as-poker-chips ad works as a terrific appetite suppressant. [/shudders]
Edited because I realized that I had gone through the entire post without mentioning spongemonkeys, so here goes:
SPONGEMONKEYS, SPONGEMONKEYS, SPONGEMONKEYS!
Yeah, that oughta do it.
CoolHandFluke
Feb 7, 2004 @ 2:31 pm
For anybody who remembers the old Saturday morning Ninja Turtles PSA's, I'd recommend going
here. It's sort of like a TWoP recap of the commercial.
senor coconut
Feb 7, 2004 @ 2:39 pm
I was just going to bring in coupons for feminine hygeine products. Some little shit at the counter having to handle a .50 off a super-sized box of super-absorbancy tampons outta justify that campaign.
hagreene80
Feb 7, 2004 @ 2:45 pm
Even if I brought in a real coupon from another store, I would be embarrassed, lol.
And what's the point? Are the employees going to use those coupons and get spa discounts and stuff?
We've been scouring the ads for the most embarassing coupons we could find. We found some for Priscilla's (a local adult novelty store) and some for Trojans in a Walgreens circular. Hehe... I get my dollar off :)
BengalsGirl
Feb 7, 2004 @ 3:23 pm
Count me in on the "spongemonkey love" bandwagon. My husband and our dog get identical (which is to say "amused and mildly disturbed") looks on their faces when I walk around the house singing, "We like tha moon..."
cal331
Feb 7, 2004 @ 6:49 pm
I just saw the Quizno's ad on TV! Well, it's not that exciting. (I couldn't get the website to run it because of memory problems on my Apple IIe here.) It's ok. Definitely not scarring, but the raspy "pepper baaaaaar" line may haunt me for a few more minutes. They are ugly, but I think those teeth are scarier than their randomly squishing eyeballs.
senor coconut
Feb 7, 2004 @ 7:29 pm
We've been scouring the ads for the most embarassing coupons we could find. We found some for Priscilla's (a local adult novelty store)
Kick ass! I just got a "Sassy Kat" Lingerie and adult toys coupon in the Pennysaver!
Alexandria Bay
Feb 7, 2004 @ 7:32 pm
Let me just get this out of the way--spongemonkey.
Now, the HBO(?) ad with Big Pussy where he's talking about how he was dumped from Sopranos but has HBO so he sees it all the time. What is that animated thing and are the other bumped off characters supposed to be specific references or just generic?
Ernos
Feb 7, 2004 @ 7:44 pm
Seriously. [spongemonkey]
It's like Kramer on "Seinfeld." They're hideous, yet I cannot look away.
fruvous1221
Feb 7, 2004 @ 7:52 pm
Spongemonkeys equal parasitic fetuses
Parasitic fetuses do not equal desire to eat a tasty toasted sub
Having said that, the spongemonkeys make me laugh. A lot.
I'm a native upstate NYer...
Doesn't Billy Fucillo announce that he's canceling winter every year? My parents get both Rochester and Syracuse stations so I have the joy of listening to his fat mouth on trips back.
Jim "The Hammer" Shapiro is the "meanest SOB in town" except not. A couple years ago a Rochester jury made him pay $2 million to a former client for false advertising, and apparently he never once tried a case. How sad that I've been in RI for 4 years and still know his phone number.
I used to think that Rochester had the worst local ads on Earth until I moved here. Egads.
add_duck
Feb 7, 2004 @ 8:57 pm
What's up with the Outback Steakhouse commercial where the guy sets up his little weiner dog on the treadmill? Is he saving time by not walking the dog himself? But isn't the point of walking the dog so that it can relieve its self? Or is the dog using the treadmill so that the wife will hear it and think that the husband is using the treadmill? But isn't his wife out for dinner with him?
Overthinking the commercials - the TWoP way of life.
thinkcwik
Feb 7, 2004 @ 9:49 pm
My husband is one funny guy. Today he was doing some yardwork and new neighbor was warming up his vehicle. As Mr. Cwik tells it, he couldn't see the vehicle, he just heard the motor revving. By the time neighbor pulled his truck out on the road, my hubby was shrieking, "Saturday! Saturday! Saturday! Driving the Dodge Ram Hemi !" Just shows to go you how an annoying commercial can still be comedy gold. New neighbor glared at us all day. Hee!
BengalsGirl
Feb 7, 2004 @ 9:56 pm
OMG, Jim "The Hammer" Shapiro! I spent 7 years in Rochester. The thing that killed me about him was that when he did that hammer-pounding gesture, his hair would move but his head would stay perfectly. still.
Anoyone else here in Central NC? The Rick Hendrick Chevrolet ads with the cartoon elephant ("and a low, low bottom line")? I really don't want to like them, but I do. Just for that cute little bastard.
[OT]I miss Wegman's. And Fruvous1221, we must have been in some of the same spots, as I went to every FruShow in the WNY area between 1995 and 2000.[/OT]
add_duck
Feb 7, 2004 @ 10:31 pm
Just saw the spongemonkeys for the first time. Wow. Just wow. Did they have to make them sound so anoying? They sound like they belong in the odius Truth adds as an example of "this is what you sound like after two packs a day." And they were loud. I had to turn the volume down on my TV
add_duck
Feb 7, 2004 @ 10:32 pm
Damn
Sincerity
Feb 8, 2004 @ 1:26 am
Just saw the spongemonkeys for the first time. Wow. Just wow. Did they have to make them sound so anoying? They sound like they belong in the odius Truth adds as an example of "this is what you sound like after two packs a day." And they were loud. I had to turn the volume down on my TV
Bwah! They should put the spongemonkeys on the Truth ads...I'd at least get some entertainment out of them that way. I HATE Truth ads, with every fiber of my being. Maybe it's because I'm a smoker, or maybe it's because the ads sound like my obnoxious college-attending, non-smoking, pretentious friends. I haven't decided yet.
biakbiak
Feb 8, 2004 @ 1:34 am
Maybe it's because I'm a smoker, or maybe it's because the ads sound like my obnoxious college-attending, non-smoking, pretentious friends.
Well I am not a smoker but I can't stand the ads which is odd because it is not like I am a fan of large corporations but there is just something about the attitude they project that offends me. I swear they are going to drive me to smoke.
skittl3862
Feb 8, 2004 @ 1:53 am
I said the same thing! I was watching TV with my mom when one of the commercials came on and I said that if I could smoke (asthma issues), I would start smoking just to spite the Truth people!
Sharmila
Feb 8, 2004 @ 1:58 am
Word. The most ineffective campaign ever. I'm another non-smoker, and I want to shill to the big corporations just to piss these people off. They're like the PETA of cigarettes.
MisterIdol
Feb 8, 2004 @ 2:09 am
Can I please kick the person who thought up those damn Taco bell "Club Chaloupa" commercial in the head? It irks me more than the freaky spongemonkey Quizon adds!
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