The thing that annoys me the most about that baby-aol-swimsuit model mom commercial is just the sound of the damn baby crying. It goes on for so long! Yuck. It is like when they have an alarm clock sound in a commercial. It like hurts me to hear that. (Oh god. Make it stop. Please...)

There is a commercial that has been kind of grossing me out lately. It is for some sort of pad or panty liner and it brags that it "becomes part of your underwear" or something like that. I know what they mean, but the way they say it sounds so nasty to me. Like they left it in there for so long that it became impossible to separate it from their underwear. Ugh. I'm sorry. This is really gross.

Have you guys seen the commercial where the guy goes "Have a vacation home? Sell it for CASH! Timeshare? Sell it for CASH!" And he says "CASH!" in this totally cheesy, kind of weird, way too excited voice? I had that shit going through my head this morning so badly, like it was a song or something. I was sitting at this meeting all morning at work and all I could think about was "Sell it for CASH!"

*laughs* speaking of 'CASH!', I had to laugh hysterically at the latest Moneytree ad (the one with Bob and Babs, the 'caterpillars'). Bob keeps trying to talk about Moneytree, but he keeps getting bitten or something by overrunning 'baby Bobs' (little mini pompom 'Bob' toys you can get at Moneytree, apparently). Babs tries to help him, but (I think, I've only seen it once), she gets swarmed by them, too, or something.

...and so Lina commences with the sadistic glee, for she hates Moneytree ads with a firey passion.

After watching Joe Average 2 last night, I am surprised I didn't see any of those ads there (yes, I'm talking to you, the guy with that nasty cold sore on your lip who was the first guy eliminated in the premier episode).

Actually, the picture they show of Elle shows her more clothed than one would expect at a "swimsuit supermodel" site. She looks like she's dressed for yoga class. Anyway, we're analyzing this way too much! Elle's baby is happy when he sees mommy.

Those hairtrimmers! I ordered one, mid-year last year. If the battery was in it, I couldn't put it back together, so it either had power, or was all in one piece. Truly cheap s**t. Plus I didn't get any of the freebies promised. I had to send it back.

And I have to add: or their period.



It makes me ill, but for a different reason. It makes my ears practically bleed the way he sings "Shower THEE people you love with love, show them THEE way that you feel." Ick.

The fucking Floks are back, talking about their gotdam flag football, and how in moments of sadistic glee they like to relive who broke what.

I hate WalMart, and I especially hate their ad.

Damn. Is it the same stupid ad, or are they back in some kind of bizarre sequel? Either way, I hope I never see it.

Glitter pits? Why, Secret? Strong enough for a man, made for who, exactly? I don't think there are too many teenagers who want Brad checking out their pits at the prom.

Yeah, it would be skeevy except a)it’s the baby’s mom and b)she’s not wearing anything revealing or posing provocatively in the picture.

For some reason I'm thinking this was discussed at some point. I think it was referred to as the Zen pantyliner or something like that.

There's an ad (or informercial?) where a guy gives a very upbeat spiel for some kind of do-it-yourself art course that unlocks your creativity - you can send for a home test to help you figure out how to draw better. Behind the guy are all these cheesy pictures. I honestly thought it was part of a MadTV skit when I saw it and laughed hysterically.

I swear, FfrauleinN, you're gonna get me fired. "Nose twin" is the funniest shit. And, OT, but hot tar is awful! I have the misfortune of being around it no matter where I go - work, school, etc! What about moth balls?


"Do you like to sketch and doodle? Would you be interested in drawing pictures of a pirate or a pirate turtle?"

So has anyone figured out the M&M mystery yet? Why the hell have they "lost" their color? (or, as the red M&M puts in when he was being interviewed on New Year's Rockin' Eve, they've "given up color, like some people give up smoking") And if I have a pack of colored M&M's, could I eBay this shit for profit? (jk, of course!)

[OT: Moth balls, mmmm. We are so weird.]

So, this guy with the do-it-yourself art course? Do the "works of art" he's displaying look like that turtle sketch they have in the back of magazines? Because I think I've seen this guy. He reminds me of the guy who wants you to send him a ridiculous amount of money in exchange for CD-ROMs that teach you how to turn on a computer, or somesuch. Hilarious.

The best thing about all of these is the Kiefer Sutherland voice over! What's not to love? It's the VelvetSutherland for cripssake! The singing part? Ick!

As well he should be. Elle's looks fantastic, especially when you consider she's gotta be pushing 40, at least.

If you don't have any gun collectors/hunters in your family, let me just tell you: gun barrel cleaner is like moth balls...bottled! Amazing stuff, lol.


Yup, that's him. Technically, he only wants you to draw these turtles and pirates, but the works of art behind him look like things that Bob Ross has painted (not necessarily bad, but no Van Gogh either).

Hooray! The Shop-Rite Can-Can sale is back!! I love those ads.

HATE. Just....HATE.

Not you, Charlieboo. The ads. Sorry.

I thought the exact same thing. "Mom! And food! Double plus good!"

Even though he sometimes comes across as a gigolo in the new wedding-themed 1010987 commercial, I still can't bring myself to hate John Stamos for some reason.

And I know this was discussed sometime back but I still love the Juicy Friut (?) commercials with the office workers in disguises. Cracks me up.

JenEx, I can't believe you posted pages ago about the Michelin dog and no one else has commented. Cutest commercial ever! I especially love it when the dog starts licking Michelin man's face. Awwww!!! Also, it's hilarious when my dog starts growling at the tv whenever Michelin dog appears just as he does with real dogs.

Miki the Brain, I'm so glad someone besides me is anal enough to have noticed that the Stuck on You twins are on the wrong sides when Matt Damon is driving the car. The issue had needled its way into my brain and was driving me crazy.

Bwah! A pirate turtle! I don't know why that cracks me up, but it does!

Ooh-la-la! Help me out: what is the vaguely French announcer guy saying before the girls break into song?

And now I'm off to see if gun barrel cleaner can be purchased online...

Eek! Babies are learning Newspeak! We're fucked.

I see the goddamn CitH-related ads have stopped. All is well.

So you can dab some behind your ears? ;)

Hooray! Return of the lost episode of "School House Rock"! Oh wait...that's just the Shop-Rite can-can ad again ;)

Eau de Scent-Freak, new from Designer Imposters. Here, topic topic... Do they even have those Designer Imposters ads anymore?

There's an ad...I think it's for McDonald's. Three little girls are primping in a bathroom while some hideous spoken-word song plays about how she's a princess and she's "all that." She puts on her Magical Disney Princess Tiara and comes downstairs with one sneaker. A boy, apparently The Handsome Prince, is there holding the other sneaker. Mom waves them goodbye as they depart in Cinderella's coach, most likely to McDonald's, where they will eat burgers made out of the mice.

My big problem? This girl is ten years old if she's a day. That ad gives me the squick big-time.

I saw a great commercial about a week ago that I haven't seen since. I was hoping someone would comment on it, but I haven't seen anything yet (sorry if I missed any post(s) about it), and I hope I can remember it fairly accurately. Pretty sure it's a Honda commercial. They play some nice background music while slowly flashing side-by-side pictures of Honda (?) vehicles and their owners. It's pretty obvious after the first few pictures that they're pointing out how each owner looks like his or her car/truck/SUV. I thought it was very clever, and at times pretty funny.

I'm blanking on the name of the company, but there's an ad that promises to put $500 in your checking account quickly and easily, if you're between paychecks and you have bills to pay. Correct me if I'm wrong, but are the words "loan" or "interest" ever even mentioned?

WORD!!! to everyone who despises this commercial. It is just so wrong on so many levels: likening the volume of a woman's flow to the volume of an entire lake; likening a rusty tear in the bottom of a metal boat to a woman's hoo hoo (Hoo hoo is wrong too, but I think it's funny. Shut up. I'm aware of Eve Ensler.); the fact that the incoming flow threatens to sink not only the woman into oblivion, but the man as well; AND the shot of the damn saturated tampon plumping up like a freaking Ball Park frank! EW!

The whole thing is just revolting.

meknownothing,

I know what you're talking about, or at least I've seen a similar product advertised.

I don't think the ads here spell out that it's a loan and they will take back what you owe from your next paycheck, but I think the fine print is on the screen itself.

I hate those ads; I think there's a big potential of being sucked into more debt with these companies, and a lot of people may not be aware of it.

PSA: Please, try and set a little money aside from each paycheck to cover emergencies. Even $5 per paycheck can be helpful in the long run. End PSA.

Whoa! I sincerely hope I never see that broken boat tampon ad. But I have to admit that I, enightened feminist that I am, cracked a grin at "hoo hoo."

And that McDonald's ad sounds disturbing on so many levels.
1) Children are dating now?
2) They're running off to eat miceburgers without parental supervision? Who's driving the "coach"? A toddler?
3) Little girls are not "all that." No, they're not. Cut that shit out, advertising people who seem to think "Let's Get It On" is an appropriate theme song for elementary school girl-boy interactions.
4) So, wait ... one boy to three girls? How is this ratio fair?

Have we seen the latest Kidz Bop ads? The CDs have "Crazy In Love", "Hey Ya!" and "It's My Life" on it. Sung by kids. For kids. WTF?

In case anyone still doubts that this is a scam, I once sent away for my free "test" to see if I had the necessary potential for this course. It was a piece of paper with the infamous pirate turtle, and the test was:

a) do a freehand reproduction of the pirate turtle
b) colour it in

I scribbled over the test with a brown crayon and mailed it in. I know you all will be shocked (shocked!) to learn that I do, in fact, have the necessary skills to take this course. I received an invitation to send in my fee RIGHT AWAY!

The commercial that's currently driving me crazy is for some L'Oreal lip gloss, with the amazing, lip-plumping, light-refracting "technology" (glitter). Not only is the "technology" stupid, the model in the commercial has some seriously jacked-up teeth. Of course, she's wearing about a pound of this gloss, drawing even more attention to her horrible teeth. Like all lip gloss commercials, it does not mention that this product will smear and disappear in seconds.

Oh, and the glitter anti-perspirant? I've seen it in the drugstore, and the product itself does not have glitter - the package has glitter. You know, the plastic container thingy. The idiocy is breathtaking - who cares if the package is sparkly?

I was told by a woman who owns this type of service that they aren't allowed to call these things loans -- they are "advances", "cash advances", "payday advances", "payroll advances", etc. Also, interest is called "fees" or "necessary fees."

Do the kids sing the line about "I just want to make you come-a"?

When the video is played on tv the last word is absent, but shows up in the closed captioning.

One of my all-time favorite commercials is the Nike/British/Soccer Streaker from a year or so ago. It doesn't seem to be shown anymore. Does anyone remember that ad? Of the current commercials, there are two I like. One is for batteries, I think. It's 4 young guys on a road trip, and the driver is narrating as they pass through various states, and finally he says, "...after that, I told myself 'I'm not dating girls named after states'." The other is for Southwest Airlines, where the lady (seemingly) innocuoulsy opens an email which launches the "Pink Slip Virus". Anyone who works in an office, with cubicles and all, I think can relate to that.

A scam, perhaps, but a long-running one. Know who's the most famous graduate of this school, and was even an instructor there for a time? Charles Schulz, the guy who did Peanuts. Seriously: the school is in his hometown of Minneapolis, and he worked there early in his career.

Who's got the topic: going back a few pages, is The Guy Who Looks Like Beck (who's in a new best Buy ad, too) Tim Sharp from Undeclared? There's a resemblance, but I can't be sure.

Get outta here! Now I have conflicting emotions: my disdain for the pirate turtle vs. my love for Charles Schulz.

I saw that ad for the $500 loan last night - the ad promises quick cash "if you have more bills than money". Which is beyond awful, because if you already can't pay your bills, how will you pay back the loan?

Okay, I'm dying laughing as I realize that it is indeed a pirate turtle they implore you to draw. It's a turtle, wearing a three-corner hat. A turtle. In a hat. A pirate hat. Who in the world thought this "test" up, anyway? Please tell me it wasn't Charles Schulz.

Would that be the lovely (until she opens her mouth) Laetitia Casta you're talking about? I don't understand why they allowed her to speak in the ad. When she's in print ads, they wisely use pictures of her with a close-lipped smile.

I see those Kids Bop ads all the time for some reason. I play a little game where I try to think of the least kid-friendly lyric in each of the songs mentioned. I believe Vermicious Knid wins in the "Hey Ya" category.

I agree! When I saw that McD commercial, I thought the same thing. Please, ad folks, just because a song is older, it doesn't automatically slot in the family sing-along category.

And isn't the turtle wearing a turtleneck sweater?? (no pun intended, at least not on my part) Or is it only the non-pirate version of the turtle that wears the sweater?

I think this may be the most inane post I've ever written. Apologies, all.

ETA: Props to FfrauleinN for using the word "jaunty" in her post...

I thought he was wearing a jaunty scarf. You know, like real pirates do.

If memory serves me, Schulz looked upon this school fondly. Not so much because they were good, but because they gave him encouragement at a critical early stage in his career. Whatever you think of the school, I have to give Charles Schulz credit for not being too proud to say this.

And don't they even think it's the slightest bit repetitive that they have a man pirate as well as a turtle pirate all in the same test?!

IIRC (b/c they flip through the "test" way too quickly), they also have what looks to be a few brain teasers in the test as well, like those "which arrow is longer?" type questions. Now what's the point in that? Duh...everyone know the two arrows are equal.

Well, this way, if you carry it around with you and your purse spills, your boyfriend will be so mesmerized by the glitter that he won't notice your tampon!

Topic? I absolutely hate the ads for Jeep with the little kids driving around in toy jeeps. First of all, those things cost, like, a gazillion dollars - usually sold in the Neiman-Marcus catalogs for spoiled little kids whose parents have way too much money. Second, way to go to bring your kids up to be huge snobs, making fun of the kid who doesn't drive (i.e. can't afford) a "real" Jeep. Third, the stepford mom smile at the end just skeeves me out. And fourth, if you're gonna have a 6-year-old deliver your tag line, make sure you can friggin' understand her!! [/end rant]

Who wants sparkly pits?

Current annoying ad? The swimsuit supermodel one. If that's the kid's mom, how come dopey dad doesn't have her bookmarked?

I have been on a massive hate against all that is Kidz Bop for quite some time. Why do the people who make these think it would be okay for a kid to hear sexually charged lyrics just because another kid is singing it instead of an adult? To me, this just makes it MORE WRONG. The ads frequently have girls under the age of 12 getting all flirty with the young boys while "singing" and hypersexualizing kids in general. Many, many levels of wrong.

Y'all will be happy to note that my 6yo nephew and 4yo niece turned their noses up at this ad. They didn't like it at all, and changed the channel to look for more SpongeBob.

Re:Cash advances--I used to work at a check-cashing store that offered these. There's no credit check; you just need proof of a working phone, at least 6 months employment, and residence. You write the check, and the fee is 17.00 per hundred. Here's the thing, though--you can't take $500 right off the bat. You have to do so many $100, $200, $300, and $400 loans to work your way up to $500. The check is postdated two weeks in advance, but for another 17.00/hundred, the loan can be extended another 2 weeks. You can do this three times per check, then you have to write a new check, which can also be extended for 17.00/hundred/2 week period. While working there, I saw people extend so many times that all the fees paid would have paid off the check a couple times over. There's a disclosure which the person signs before getting the cash--the APR was close to 400%!

Granted, fee amounts and APR amounts may vary, but this is basically the program used.


But, if your purse spilled, would the glitter get all over the tampon, and then if you used the tampon, would you then have a glittery hoo-hoo?

Word, y'all! All I could think of when I saw this commercial is, Why is McDonald's pimpin' out the chirrun? This is so wrong!



Or dry out your lips and make them more crusty than glossy.



Love, love, love the Serta sheep. I love how they've gone all hard core now.

And from way back . . .



This ad always pisses me off. [sarcasm] I mean, don't all phone numbers start with 555? So couldn't this dipwad remember the last 4, even if he had to say them over and over until he could take off his stupid backpack and get a pen? [/sarcasm]

And thanks to phxchic for the new phrase of my life....

I thought I read that CS was initially turned down for the art school. Maybe they had integrity back then?

And why is the file called "Swimsuit Model" instead of "My Lovely Wife" or "Our Trip to Jamaica"? Whatever, it still sucks.

ETA:


Oh you know glitter tampons are coming. All that glitters IS a 'pon of gold!

First things first: "glittery hoo-hoo" is very, very funny.

That's what bugs you about it? The redundancy? Hee. I love that everyone can find something different to hate about the turtle pirate test.

You know what? I’m just grateful he's not all, "Where is your mother?" How sad am I?

What bothers me about the Dentyne Ice phone number ad is the fact that all the other guys are writing her number down. Now, granted, she took a chance by putting it on the train window like that, but I don’t think she’s gonna welcome phone calls from mysterious subway platform guys (other than the one she bumped into). Settle down, boys.

He WILL notice if you're lugging around the WHOLE box, as many women, especially those in row boats, are wont to do.



That just elicited a spit-take from me, and I'm not even quaffing a beverage! I think you might be onto something there! Heck, they could at least throw us a bone and make the packaging sparkly, like those avant garde Secret people.

Festive tampons! Whee!

Edited for no good reason. I just have an obsessive editing compulsion.