A guy can always hope. I was looking at Jennifer's scrapbook and I was having the hardest time trying to figure out if the girl is hot or not. Normally, this is a 3 second decision, but I was stumped. I mean initially, I thought so; but there something that just isn't quite right--yet, I'm strangely attracted. I need an ad to really tell.

Of course, the captions on the pictures and the complete lack of the proper use of I and me is just arrrgh. It could be the web designer, but I certainly get the impression she wrote the captions and they are just dreadful. C'mon, girl "XXX & I" isn't always right, you know.

The Good - I love the commerical for SBC unlimited where all the elderly people in the retirement village are bitching that their kids keep calling and won't leave them alone. I like every one of the complaining old men.

The Bad - the McDonald's commerical where the ba-da-da-da-da is slow and serious sounding. It's like when something would happen on the Brady Bunch and they would play the theme really slowly to denote the seriousness of the situation.

The Ugly - the new Hallmark "fantasy" ad. Has anyone else seen this? It is so bad, I don't even think I can recap it. There is a hot guy with a teddy bear in his hands. Doors open and he sticks the bear to whatever the woman opening the door has in her hand at the moment.. one of them is a cat. Then he opens the door and the girl has the matching kiss-kiss bear and the bears kiss, so therefore he has found "the one". Cut to said girl standing in the Hallmark store deciding to buy the bears.

Excuse me.. but is Hallmark wanting all us single women to buy their damn bears because we think single guys will buy them and the guys will be searching the world for the matching bear? I really want to slap the person who came up with this ad campaign. Sure, I'd love a hot guy to knock on my door and fall in love with me instantly, but I know it's not going to happen and I'm not buying your damn bears.

What's that song in the new Isaac Mizrahi/Target commercial? I have a feeling I should know it but I don't.

The family completely supports and helps her career... her stepdad is the pervert who put her in the commercials at like, 15. Her hoo-hoo is making him a lotta money.

OK, those Michael MacDonald Sprint (or whatever) Ain't Nothin' Like The Real Thing commercials are getting played waaaay too much. It's brilliant, actually, to market a CD like this. But I'm pretty much past saturation levels, and I think he's got a fantastic voice even if his music's not to my taste. Besides, his phrasing is awful here, gawdawful. The picture on the wall doesn't "groove" him anymore?

On a side note I read on MSN just a couple of weeks ago that skycaps make tons of money...mostly tips. You'd think they'd be a little nicer..huh?

They were on the top ten best paying jobs I believe.

It's I Believe in You from How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. I have the Broadway cast album with Matthew Broderick and (pre-Will and Grace) Megan Mulally.

The commercials for the Hallmark kissing bears sound idiotic, glstx. What a stupid way to try to encourage single women to buy a product. I remember Hallmark having cute commercials for the kissing bears in the years past. And the kissing bears are ugly this year. They are white and nappy and the girl bear has cheap-looking lights in her cheeks that light up when the bears are put together.

I can't say I've ever seen this ad, but it does sound icky.

I keep seeing this one ad that confuses me which features a woman in her office getting goosed/pick pocketed by her copying machine, ended with a stern warning about copying machines which steal from the workplace. Huh?

et al. I believe it's Axe and the "Axe effect." My first thought was why would you want to wear stinkum that attracts bugs?
And I thought the parachuting gum had a French accent, dah, then in that case I agree ... That's a really bad Scottish accent, if I'm hearing him as a Frenchman. Which didn't make sense either.
Also figured out this system is totally not taking me to where I stopped the last time I was on. So sorry about the other day, grrr, never trust anything to work as advertised.

Yes, it's for Axe body spray. I caught the tail end of this yesterday with the worms making a little heart and thought WTF?

I too wonder why a talking stick of gum has a Scottish accent.

Re: Lime Diet Coke (last mentioned on page 345):

We have it here, in Pittsburgh, PA! I saw it in Wal*Mart, of all places. Now, I don't usually like diet colas and I am a Pepsi girl (as my name shows), but based on the comments made by you TWoPers I just had to try it. This stuff is not bad at all!


He did have a comedy show (on FOX, I think) called, (Surprise, surprise!) The Wayne Brady Show before he got his talk show. It was great and they did improv (like on Whose Line?) and sketch comedy and he sang, but for some stupid and inconceivable reason it was cancelled immediately. Imagine my delight, then disappointment when I heard his show was back, only to find that it was now a talk show on a different network. Our cable company (ComFUCKINGcast) only started picking up his talk show a couple months ago, and now it's cancelled!

Also, the commercial is for International Delight, not CoffeeMate. I love the Irish Creme, yum!

You know who else does? The lady on the Liquid Lense commercial who drops her glasses on the sidewalk and then picks them up and purses her pouty, collagen injected lips at them. She gives me the heeby jeebies.

There She Goes for the pill?

Where is she going? Out ho'in???

And there's every chance from what I understand that song is about heroin. No wonder she's dancing through this fanciful forest scape all footloose and fancy free...


I saw a few pages back that the "Jenny" cingular ad came up. I specifically HATE that ad. What a load of hoo hoo. Your main hook is that cingular lets you keep your number? And that makes you different from all the other cell phone companies how?

grr.

Thank you absolutelyisis I had a feeling it was from a musical but I'm not too familiar with that one so it would all fit together.

What is the song that is played in that car commercial with the guy who looks like he's jamming and singing to the song from outside his car, but inside the car we hear that he's just chanting "pound of turkey, toothpaste, diapers, the big pack..." over and over again?

I love that song! What is it?

Die, Cingular Instant Gratification Girl. You're obnoxious and irritating. And it looks like you're wearing a freakin Christmas bow as a brooch on your dress.

Haaaaaaate.

Bwahaha! Yeah, pretty much. Look, there she goes, sexin' in the woods! There she goes, sexin' on the beach! It's kind of reminiscent of those herpes medication ads. "Look what I can do!"

Has anyone seen the Cialis commercial? It's very much like prescription drug ads of old, where people would be windsurfing in a field but you never knew what the drug was for. The best part of the ad is this older couple taking baths, in side-by-side clawfoot tubs, outdoors. No, seriously. And the whole time, the announcer keeps saying the name of the drug, and all I can think of is the Brady kids annoying the housekeeper with some dumbass problem.

They never say what it's for, so I go to the website, and it's for erectile dysfunction, people! That kinda gives a whole new meaning (I didn't need to think about) to the couple bathing outdoors.

Word! Our whole house is in love with Wayne Brady. Mr. Shrew has a big ol' man-crush on him, and the Shrewette, at the tender age of 7.5 months, makes kissy faces at him whenever she sees him on TV.

May I resurrect the ultra-hate for the toilet paper commercials that show the cartoon bears cavorting in the woods? This morning's was particularly bad...a little boy bear in a baseball cap unrolls a giant wad off the roll, saying "I'm gonna need all this!" Ewwww!

I just saw the Lassie-as-Neo ad, very wicked cool. Finally, something I like. It would've been even better if they had a Keanu sound-a-like going: "Don't go there, dude!" in a Bill and Ted sort of way.
"Pornface?" Bwa-hahahaahaha! I always had wondered if I should think of that as a official term.

Yeah, I couldn't think of what else to call it.

The bears shitting in the woods were never cute, and now they're really annoying to boot. For some reason, I thought the cub was a girl, though. And who -- bear or human -- announces how much t.p. they plan to use? Ick.

Now see I totally agree with you, but on the other hand the cat kissing the bear is just too cute for words (cats are my Achilles Heel).

I saw the Lassie as Neo commercial. I think I laughed for about 5 minutes after I saw it.

I got the sense, rather, that she used to use another carrier and WANTED to change to Cingular because it was generally nifty, but she couldn't because she'd have to give up her number and she didn't want to but now she can because the cell companies have begun permitting that so she can now use Cingular and keep her famous number so yay.

I can't decide whether to love or hate this ad. They show plus-sized models, which is a good thing. And smart of Mr. Mizrahi. But the catch is that they flash to them for literally half a second at a time, whereas the skinny models are focused on for much longer. You see it and are sort of, "Oh, hey, is that a plu-". Baby steps, I guess.

Can I ask if any TWoPers out there own either a Tempurpedic or Sleep Number bed? The commercials for them make me feel so outdated for sleeping on a "regular spring mattress". I just want to know if either of these products really do feel that much better to sleep on. Between that and the fact that I still eat carbs (don't tell anyone!), I guess I'm just way behind the times.

Hey, whoever picked Lindsey Wagner to pitch the Sleep Number bed screwed up, cuz every time I see that commercial, I think "that woman looks really tired." Who was the perky blond who used to pitch mattressses, way back in the day? Joey Heatherton? Heading off for group art activities at the Old Folks' Home now.

I, too, want to add my hate for the Hallmark bears commercial. Just another excuse to make single women feel like crap just in time for St. Validation, I mean, St. Valentine's Day.

Thanks, Hallmark!

Headless 409 DJ--man or woman? A male voice says "409 cuts grease like no liquid can" (or something), but it looks like a female torso with hands doing that scratch thngs with the disks/plates/whatever (I'm too obsessed with trying to determine the sex of the body to pay attention to what it's doing).

Cottonelle ads are stupid but the puppy is the cutest thing evah! Every time it comes on I start with the "Who's a cute puppy? Who's a cute puppy? Who's a cuuuuute pupppy!?" much to the confusion and resentment of my cats.

The Total ad with the Invisible Man is back. As creepy as Snuggle the Porn Bear is, this is close.

GoLean woman in rust shirt with black turtleneck: You are a white WASP suburbanite. You are not a Sassy Black Sistah. Shut the fuck up about the scale.

Heh, me too. Plus, I harbor an odd amount of resentment for the woman who busts her husband for having an "unmanly" low sleep number. Then she says, "Your secret's safe with me." Well, actually, it's not. It also bothers me that people in mattress ads apparently sleep without bedding. Maybe the reason you can't get to sleep is you ain't got no frickin' sheets.

I think the parachuting piece of Extra Gum is totally a Simpsons shoutout. Who does the piece of gum look like? Bart. Who does the piece of gum sound like? The janitor. If Wrigley's starts marketing a blueberry gum and it has a nasal, whiny female voice, well....

fFrauleinN:

I think that erectile dysfunction products are to 21st century marketing as feminine hygiene products were to 20th century marketing. So whenever I see a pharmacutical ad that is vaguely sexual and never mentions the products' function, I just assume 'can't get it up.' This one is the grandson of 'Modess, because...'

I saw a Heineken commercial last night that has become my new favorite.
Two guys are standing outside a building, drinking Heineken, and looking in the windows. Inside, two people are trying to teach a donkey and an elephant how to dance, and the animals have red, white and blue outfits.
One guy turns to the other and says, "It's gonna be a long year!," referring to the presidential election.
Boy, can I relate! I work for a newspaper and I'm already sick of all the election news :-)

Same Commercial - Only Different

Has anyone seen the Bailey's Irish Cream commercial where the woman at a party spills the BIC as she pours it into a glass?

She shows a "sense of loss" at the waste. Then a guy steps forward to clean up the spill on the table, thereby showing a "sense of honor". Then he notices some of the cream landed on her dress, above her left breast. Will he be so forward as to try and wipe it off? Exchanging glances between the two shows a "sense of humor". "Bailiey's. Let your senses guide you". That's the American version of the ad.

The same ad airing on Canadian tv changes at the point he notices the cream on her dress. In the US version, it's a small drop and it's so high up on her dress, it's practically on her shoulder. In the Canadian version, it's a much larger splash of cream and it's right smack dab in the center of her breast. The exchange between the two of them ends with a "sense of adventure".

I find it amazing that this ad had to be "toned down" for the sensitive American viewers.

I don't. Americans are a bunch of hypocritical prudes, and we always will be.

I'd like to add to the Hallmark bears hate. Bastards -- we're not all sitting around waiting for some guy to come find us. Fuck you and all your greeting card holidays.

Well, you know what they say about a bear in the woods.

Let me go a little off topic, although so relevant to the above.

Last night, around 11, I had to go around the corner to buy toilet paper at my Duane Reade. That was all I needed. Toilet paper. For my office and for my home, and I like to stock up. So I walked up to the counter with FOUR ginormous four packs of toilet paper, and nothing else.

Fixing the checkout lady with a loony smile, I told her, "I plan on going to the bathroom A LOT tonight!"

Oh, humorless checkout lady, I know you just wanted to go home, but your reaction so disappointed me.

Anyway, I guess that's who announces how much t.p. they plan to use.

Another Brinks Home Security ad I haven't seen mentioned: the family has Brinks, but they still have one of those old window latches that can be lifted by just sliding a knife between the windows from the outside.

Any decent security consultant would've told them to spend the money on latch upgrades first. Maybe Brinks doesn't, because if you never get broken into, you won't realize how "useful" Brinks is.

My problem with the Cialis people bathing outdoors is that I can't figure out how they fill or empty those damn bathtubs. Sure, lady, the Cialis may help your husband get it up, but I'll bet the sexiness is lost when you have to choose between carting that water back down the mountain yourself or miring yourself in a mudbog because you just poured out 2 tubs full of dirty water. Grr!

Ooh I hate this commercial!



The strange thing is, she looks totally perky and upbeat in the print ads for the bed. She looks so different, that it really doesn't even look like her.

I would've thought the same thing, but sex was never even vaguely alluded to. I mean, it could've been for anything from arthritis to depression.

Yes! That, and the fact that the tubs were just kinda in the middle of a field. Did they walk naked from the house? Were there robes lying around?

Am I overthinking an ad again? Hey, there's a question I can answer!

formergr

to answer your questions about beds-

I have a Sleep Select. I am not the world's happiest owner- but it's okay. I like a firm bed (I keep my select number in the 80's to 90's) while hubby practically sleeps on a sling, keeping the select number at 15. The drop off between the differences makes our bed look very disjointed- I would almost rather have a very 1950's room with two single beds. You can never make the bed up like this- unless you bring up the numbers everyday, which I am sure will prematurely age out the air mattress motor.

I just want to say that I really like the Target ad with Isaac Mizrahi. Everytime I see it I think "See, Old Navy, that's how you make a good ad using a celebrity and a show tune!"

I saw an ad a while back for a prescription drug, and they're just carrying this whole full disclosure thing too far. I don't remember what drug it was, but this waaaaaay too upbeat lady sing-songs something like: "I'm taking Drug X which helps me sleep and has a rare occurence of mild sexual disfunction!"

Just the way she says it, it seemed like she went to the doctor and asked for a drug that would cause mild sexual disfunction and thank God she found it!

Radio 4, "Dance to the Underground."

I had to find that out or it was going to bug me all day! I love that song, too.

I was thinking the same exact thing when I saw an Advair commercial in which the v/o woman was all chipper about "airway constriction".
How stupid do they think we are? I'm surprised the one with the seizure and eating disorder disclaimer doesn't sing it like a lullaby.

Jessica Simpson?

It had to happen, the collision of commercials and reality tv. This is a new anti-pot PSA series.


So anybody see this yet?

Vermicious Knid, that's an anti-smoking (nicotine) campaign, not anti-pot. And, I have not seen it yet.

Can you say "airbrush"?

God, I miss those Massengill commercials. I remember when The Onion did a Top Ten list for "Euphemisms For Getting Your Period" and one of them was "Walking along the beach in soft focus." Whenever any woman walked along the beach, it was so douche time. Or stop the bleeding time. Or freshen your already-douched hoo-hoo time. Remember when Midol had the slogan "Midol helps it all go away?" How patronizing was that?

We aren't the only ones who hated the Quiznos ad.

http://www.business2.com/b2/web/dumbest/2/...,19266,,00.html

God, what a relief! Thank you comedylass!!!

Word, charlieboo. By the way, Isaac's talk show has a thread, over in Talk Shows. There hasn't been a new episode lately, so we end up posting about Target commercials!

[OT]formergr, as someone who works "in the industry" (I sell mattresses among other things at a local furniture store), I will tell you that while that type of foam is really good in addition to a regular mattress, Tempurpedic beds are notorious for having issues, like among other things, loss of loft from the foam after a one month usage. Simmons sells a good line of Beautyrest and Backcare beds that use the same foams with the coil system and it's a lot better for you as well as lasting longer.... [/OT]

Topic: I love the new Target ads...mainly because I love me some Issac. And I was VERY happy to see a plus-size model on television. Made me happy to have a ghetto booty!

Okay, this is clearly proof that I watch way too damn bleebleeblahblahboo, but today I saw two different Lindsay Wagner Sleep Number ads, and the answer is: she needs to kill her stylist (or ex-stylist, depending on the order the ads were made). In one, her hair is light brown/blondish and pulled back in a braid with bangs, and she looks just fine. In the other, her hair is loose, well past shoulder length, has some of those retro '70s flippies, and is dyed a particularly unflattering ash blonde. It's the length and color of the latter style that makes her look like death. Really, really bad. Really. (And y'all need to get out of my head, because I was totally planning to bring this up before I logged on and found the topic already in play.)