I have a gun, please place the money in the bag.

Your favorite idol,

Justin Guarini

Bweehee, playbiller!

"HOW'S MY DRIVING? " - Justin G.

At least I'm #1 in Norway
-Kelly Clarkson

Whadda ya mean you don't want my sweat-soaked towels?
-Ruben Studdard

Has anyone seen my mic?
-Clay Aiken

At least Mommy loves me
-Trenyce

You will not invite me for dinner, because I telling you my eyes hurt from seeing your ugly shirt.
--Kuba

ONE DAY MY NAME WILL BE BOLDED LIKE THIS AND I WILL BE NOTICED

- jamai

Yes, I am still allive (no thanks to RCA!)

Nikki

Thanks for giving me my scooter back! The voices in my head have stopped telling me to kill you now - Love, Nicole Tieri

You're correct, my theme song will be on my forthcoming CD. It's sung to the tune of the Mr. Ed song: A corpse is a corpse, of course of course, and no one would talk to a corpse of course, unless of course, the corpse of course, is Demato the undead! Thanks for talking - Julia

Dear Rush, my heart goes out to you. Please contact me if you need a list of sympathic doctors that are still under the radar. Also, have you considered spiking a product placed cola with vodka? I found if you drink it on the air you're able to hide it in plain sight. Love, Paula

Due to pending litigation, I cannot comment on my lawsuit against the makers of Metamucil for false advertising. I'd like to thank the press corps for their understanding in advance. Corporal Joshua Gracin

Yes, I do perform at bachelor parties, provided there will be a camera to film me. Kimberly Caldwell

You're a great fan - I'm so glad I ran into you in line for the plasma center! And thanks again for the heads up on that cool pawn shop! Justin Guarini

I heart all my fans, especially those who work in hospital nurseries. You don't have any openings for candy-stripers do you? I just love babies! Carmen Rasmussen

katiedid, rock on.


Thanks so much for fixing my watch. I can't believe how long it was stuck at 12:14!Kristin Holt

What's a Zoloft?

-Scooter Girl

You show me your pen, I'll show you mine,
Jon Peter Lewis

"For the last time, my name is Will, not 'Well'"
-- William "She Bangs" Hung

This isn't an autograph, but I wrote an email with praise to Will Hung, and he wrote back:
Thank you for your support. William

Which just makes me want to say again: Will Hung rules!

I'm still not wearing a bra! And neither are my invisible friends!
(S)Cooter Girl

I'm bitter because I grew up in a trailer park,
Kiiiiiiiiiiiira

Thanks [sob for the [sniffle] support.
Jennifer [sob] Hudson

Thank you for the sandwich. It's the first meal I've had in three days.
- Justin Guarini

Thank you for the baby sandwich. It was delicious!
- Carmen Rasmussen

Give me your sandwich (or else).
- Ruben Studdard

Did you say I was a ham sandwich?
- Alan Ritichison

Do you want fries with your sandwich?
- Kiira

Jesus Loves You
- Clay Aiken

I Love You
- Jesus Roman

My Brother Loves You
- Noel Roman

I Love Me
- Kimberly Caldwell

I Don't Love Anybody
- Briana Ramirez-Rial Garcia Lorca de la Cruz

Oh shit there comes my group!
-Meleana

No really, I was in the Rose Bowl.
-Matt R.

My number's on back.
-Love, Alan

Who is Keith?
-William Hung

Thanks for being my bestest fan!
How do you like my new name, mom?
-Leah Lavigne

For a good time, call 1-800-ROSE-BOWEL
-Matt Rogers

I'm still zany. And hungry!
-Amy Adams
(No really, 19E won't let any of us eat. Please call the cops.)

[s]If you go to 123rd and Grand, there's this guy who sells some good shit[/s]
I mean, thank you for supporting me!
-Camile Velasco

My costume isn't the only banana that dances!
-Jon Peter Lewis
____________________
THANKS FOR COMING
TO DIANA DEGARMO
FOR YOUR AUTOGRAPH
SIGNING NEEDS

AUTOGRPH______20.00
SMILE__________05.00
C'MON (3x1.00)__03.00

SUBTOTAL______28.00
SLS TX_________01.40
TOTAL________$29.40

CASH__________30.00
CHANGE________00.60
____________________

Please vote me off. I've lost the will to live.
-John Stevens :)

Aloha! Mahalo! Coconut! Pineapple! Kiwi! um...Narly!
-Jasmine Trias

I'm the klassiest, and don't let that Shimon tell shou any diff'rent!
-Fantasia Barrino

Here's a "doll" for my best fan. Don't forget to stick needles in it every night. For good luck, of course!
-Latoya London

I'm so grateful to God that I was given this opportunity to share my beautiful signature with the world.
Wait, you don't want my autograph? Well fuck you bitch!
-Jennifer Hudson

If you bring the chips, I'll bring the Dip.
-George Huff

BWAH!!!! That. Is. Hilarious. God bless happycamper.

I second that BWAH!

"Here's looking at you kid" - Bo

"Trying is the first step towards failure" - Justin Guarini

You WANT my... sweat-soaked towel?

Really? OK, anything for the ladies.

-Constantine Maroulis

I'm laughing, I'm crying. Thanks, happycamper.

Ey hav yur mothr ina wearhous jus outsiyd town.
Bi too uh my CDs or she gits it.

Prase Jezis,
Scott Savol

Coming out of lurkdom to say I'm laughing so hard I'm crying! I just have to try my amateur hand at this...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To my best fan,

Go see my movie or Ima be back to kill your ass.

Love and kisses, Jennifer Hudson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'll be back to finish this after my next surgery

Bo Bi~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey, thanks for the rock, man! You said I owe five large, right? I'll pay you next Tuesday.

Corey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 my loviNg fan,

yu havE such an aura... i can see How your spirit iz dancing when the drugs wear off. get me some moRe drug\z quick dammit caUse theres auras everywhe:re and theyre gonna strangle me with there refreshing church of ruben.!

loVe; pAulA

PS Five large by Tuesday, fucker, or I spill to your grandma
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
C'mon y'all! Thanks for shopping at KMart, y'all!

<3 Diana
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Fan #274342

Thanks for your $850 donation to the Bubel/Aiken Foundation. Your generosity will be rewarded with a backstage visit of 7.93 seconds before my next show. Transportation is at your cost, but if you can afford to spend $850 for a 7.93 second visit, you can afford to fly cross country.

Love, computer generated signature
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To MY fan,

Thanks for coming to see ME. I am so glad you like ME. Me me me me ME.

Love, Kimberly
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thakns four youre suport, Scott
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
______________________
I Ozzie "The Wizard" Smith I
I______________________I
______________________
I Ozzie "The Wizard" Smith I
I______________________I
______________________
I Ozzie "The Wizard" Smith I
I______________________I

Dear Frank,
I finished signing the plaques. Remember, my cut of this is 40% after eBay fees.
Yours, Nikko
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear peasant,

Thanks for your adulation. It's nothing less than my birthright.

Simon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks for everything! Seacrest out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I, Justin Guarini , hereby certify that the blood I am selling is free of
-----------------
Your name here

communicable disease.

Justin Guarini 12/31/05
------------ --------------
Signature Date

Please attach physician's certificate below
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanksh for shupporting me! Tashia in da houshe!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-X-

(Fantasia)

Cold!



Colder!

Coldest:

01010100011010000110000101101110011010110111001100100001

-010000110010111001000001001011100101001000101110010100100010111001001001001
011100100010100101110


(You might need decoding help from this)

I watched A League Of Their Own recently and I saw an autograph scene that could be applicable here.


"Avoid the clap."
-Constantine Maroulis

Am I going to hell for laughing til I cried?



Enjoy the fries! I gave you extra salt packets, cutie ;-)

~Justin G.~

Please accept my condolences on the loss of your loved one.
-Patrick Hall

Keep smilin'
-Gedeon

Talk into my left ear.
-Eliot Yamin

No, I'm single. Really.
-Ace Young

OPuioenipgne;
-Paula Abdul

Domo Arigato
-Will Makar

That'll be $20
-Brenna Gethers

It wuz shur grate 2 meat yew.
-Kellie Pickler

Please go get help! Ryan is holding me hostage!- Will Makar

ME? You want MY autograph? Someone finally remembers me? Well, then... oh hell, I forgot what I'm supposed to write! Shit.
-Melissa McGhee

I was belting to myself (all alone in my apartment), practicing for my Idol stint next year, and this made me burst out laughing in the middle of my glory note. Damn you.