I’m just catching up on everything from the past couple of weeks.

Number of states visited? 48(!!!) and Washington D.C. where I was born and raised. Which states have I missed? You guessed it – Hawaii and Alaska. Although hopefully I’m going to Alaska this summer because the fairs are so cheap from Seattle.
My family did road trips practically every summer and I have relatives spread out all over the country so that’s helped me reach that number. I’ve also been to the US Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico.

Number of countries visited? 17(?!) – Canada, Great Britain, France, Spain, Germany, Switzerland, Italy, Greece, Bahamas, Jamaica, St. Kitts & Nevis, St. Bart’s, Anguilla, Turks & Caicos, Costa Rica, Morocco, and Ghana. Except for Morocco (where I lived for a year when I was 5), Costa Rica and Turks & Caicos (where I was there working), all of the others I’ve visited on vacation.
Wow, seeing that number is kind of weird for me. I’ve been lucky to have had the opportunity to travel so much. Although I’ve never been to a “penis museum” so I’ve obviously missed out.

Broadway shows? Many many. Growing up my parents and I would drive the 5 hours to NYC quite frequently to take in shows. I try to go up to catch a show with my mom whenever I’m back east visiting.

Suga, I haven’t gone to either my 10 or 15 year HS reunion because I already keep in touch with everyone that I’d hope to see. It just seems a waste for me. I did however go with a small group of college friends to my 10 yr college reunion last year. That was strange because it was on a much bigger scale. There were a ton of people and it was kind of overwhelming.

SheriffTruman I’d go with Jennifer Connelly as this year’s TAR5 fantasy girlfriend.

DariaG, glad to hear about Eddie’s bloodwork results, sorry to hear about the dental work. Do you have pet insurance? Is dental work even covered under a normal policy? I’ll have to check the one I have for my cats.

Here’s a discussion topic – I’m watching the news and they’re doing a story on “pocket rockets”, which sounds very dirty but are actually little miniature motorcycle-ish ATVs that people can ride around on. They look like Big Wheels for adults. Have you guys heard of these? Would you ride one? The guy in the news story looked pretty ridiculous.

I have been noticing advertising by Disney through Touchstone Television for a new theatrical version for "Around The World in 80 Days," a new version of the film which was likelt the first motion picture I saw in a theatre almost 50 years ago.

I'm thinking this commericial amd the film is a sort of wonderful advertising for TAR this summer, as the movie premieres in mid-June, three weeks before TAR.

Hee! theschnauzers, for a split second, the first time I saw that movie promo, I thought "Oh my gosh, a TAR commercial!" And then I thought, "now watch, the movie's going to be a big hit, and still nobody's going to watch TAR.

My first thought was "Hey, a movie about our thread!"

Ding! Ding! Ding! I think that must be it. I was sitting here wondering what I could have possibly been exposing myself to that would make that even become something I would type out loud. I knew that I had seen GWH recently, so I went with that. I should have know that it was all ASS's fault.

While Chris and Alex did use the terminology in question, it's been a while so I knew that couldn't be what tainted my brain.

Thanks for the feedback on the reunions. I've been to one for college and agree...it's different. I guess because we're more likely to have things in common. I'm quickly finding that my HS classmates and I took completely different paths in life, while my college classmates are predominantly in my industry. The class sizes were almost identical though. There's just a lot more loyalty and tradition assciated with my college.

Regarding the good ole FDA...Zron pretty much summed it up. I had a nice long conversation with a guy in charge of Bioterrorism. Think maybe I was talking to the wrong guy about candy bars? Nooooo. He was more than happy to elaborate on how they established ridiculous import requirements that don't take care packages into account. Smartiegate, anyone?

Per the Bioterrorism Act of 2002, all food shipped to the US must be proceeded by notice to the FDA. This is in effect across the board (Smartiegate!). It's a very convoluted process which involves having to open an account, fill out the long form, decide exactly what type of dangerous candy you're attempting to smuggle, give up your first born, etc. The comment period on the notice is still open. If you're pissed off, or "blown" as we call it in my hood, then take a stand here.

piperdown, the gentleman I spoke to told me that all you should have to do is put the shipment confirmation number (provided in the e-mail) on the green (?) form that sticks to the box. I hope that makes sense because it's all my poor brain can handle.

I'm not that wicked smaht.

I need some crossed fingers and good vibes from now until early Saturday. I qualified to receive a phone call between 9-noon Saturday that will tell me I'm going to tape an episode of Who Wants to be a Millionaire Monday (airing Tuesday). I know it's a long shot, it's a randomly selected group out of those of us who answered the questions right on the phone, but I really, really want to be chosen.

Ok I think I figured out the customs thing. It was crazy though. I had to register with the FDA, and fill out a prior notice thing. The crazy thing was I had to name what was in the package, and when I went to put in Candy bars it asked me to classify the candy. Turns out there where somewhere around 20 different classifications for chocolate bars.

• Chocolate with nuts
• Chocolate with fruit
• Chocolate with crunchy dead frogs

Blah, Blah, Blah

So I just put that they were Snickers bars. I'm not filling out a bunch of different ones for each kind. Then I had to go find the address of he manufactuer of the chocolate, and put their address on the damn thing.

Hopefully I did it right, and it looks like it will be easier the second time. Suga I hope you enjoy it, that will at least make it worth the effort. Although the comedy involved in having to go to the bioterrorism website to send candy made it kind of worth it too.

Can I put importer/exporter on my resume now?

Great, now just watch! There will some fat fucker at the FDA who has a fetish for Snickers bars and your package will magically disappear into that imaginary land where the WMDs are hidden.

Those are ok but not as good as Ram's Bladder Cup and Spring Surprise.

Good luck IMissEthan! Both sets of fingers are crossed.

Hey more Red Tape!!!! Now I'm having problems with the University actually shipping the stuff. This is actually becoming rather fun. Everybody I talk to is finding this rather funny. Nothing like having to explain to the purchasing department why I'm shipping $10 worth of candy to Washington D.C.

Well you see there's this site called Televison without pity....And I met this person at a party for TAR.... I think everyone in my department thinks I'm having some illicit internet romance.

I just hope the stuff doesn't melt.



No. Metal has a totally different set of forms.

Of course--best of luck! And you're lucky it's on a Saturday....it makes it easier to stay by the phone. I had the same thing happen to me in early 2000 (before I had a cellphone, but IIRC cellphone #s weren't allowed), but it was a certain window of time on a weekday...thankfully I worked with a bunch of sweethearts who were really excited for me and would jump to cover my phone if I had to leave my desk for anything. Unfortunately, I never got the call....hope you do!

Hi all! (my first post despite being registered for several months)
Originating from and living in Bermuda, where the sand is indeed pink but not everyone wears Bermuda shorts...

To join in DariaG's Geography bowl - travelled to 7 countries (USA, Canada, Barbados, Jamaica, Cayman Is, Puerto Rico, UK), within the USA, 10 states (most of which were part of the old "American History school trip" tour). Made my first trip to Europe (England) last year, hope to travel some more in the near future.

Earlier in this thread someone asked about apple-flavoured soda. In Barbados there's this delicious "sunny apple" soda that's worth trying. There are also banana-flavoured ones if you're curious.

The Amazing Race: not just the best reality show on TV, but the best show on TV, period.

And I'm crossing my fingers for iMissEthan as well - good luck!

Gee, seeing as that's your job, I hope you can read at least some of it! Heh. [/sarcasm] *dodges flying fork*

I can't remember the conversation on apple-flavored soda, but allow me to make a suggestion (probably totally off topic, but SO WHAT).

When hubby and I were on our honeymoon in Jamaica last summer, one of the bartenders always served us this fantastic drink with vodka (I think), cherry liquor, and grape-fruit-flavored-soda. We looked everywhere for this grapefruit soda and finally found a Wall-Mart brand for like $0.50/2-liter. Seriously, it's that cheap and SO good. Check it out.

Romance? I lurve romance! Nice to know that I might be in one. Wheeeeeeee

I wonder what they're thinking though. Really. How kinky can $10 worth of crunchy monkey candy be? (I just realized that it's supposed to be crunchy frogs, but monkeys are still funny to me. Unless it's this frog of course. It's the funniest frog ever.)

Piperdown, I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that. I tried to protect you from the beurocracy by completing the form myself and sending you the info, but, then again, it's nice to know that someone else laughed their butt off at the ridiculous detail of the candy descriptions. I was actually afraid to put down that it was chocolate. It seemed more risky than say...Smarties. I don't know, the idea of a chocolate smuggling ring actually seemed, well, plausible. I think I just watch too bleebleeblahblahboo (duh!).

BTW, I said everything in the box was Cadbury, made in Kingston.

Congrats, iMissEthan! I hope you get the call.

erinjsnark, is this the same soda? I love Ting!

I just came from a meeting where they told us that every. keystroke. is. monitored. Along with phone calls and e-mails. Whoops! hahahahaha

Ouch. We had an employee who was perpetually on probation until he got fired; it took a long time because everyone liked him as a person, including the boss who fired him. BTDT, and it sucks. Anyway, one day the facilities manager came to visit him, and evidently the employee had come in after hours and done something squirrelly. I don't think it was theft, but it was squirrelly nonetheless. And how did they know? A hidden camera! I still don't know where that friggin' thing is, and I know where the ex-employee was when he did whatever he did. I just can't find the damned thing. Up to that point, I had restricted my netsurfing there to Washingtonpost.com, my home e-mail account, and a recreational site I visited maybe 5 minutes each day. I promptly dropped the recreational site. Because if they have hidden cameras I can't even find when I know where they're pointed, they must be monitoring other stuff as well. And since I'm self-employed and can log on to play sites later in the day, it's not worth pissing them off. Words I do not want to hear: "We're not paying you $XX per hour to surf the web." Even though others do it.

And it goes farther then just what's in the candy. I had to fill out what kind of packaging the candy had. Paper or plastic, wax, sterile/ non-sterile. WTF?? It has candy wrappers.

All in all I think there about 5-6 people, and about 3 deifferent departments at the University that are involved in getting this Candy shipped. It's too funny.

I just know it's going to melt

I am sure that all America sleeps better at night knowing that their government is on duty protecting them from the well-known evils of Canadian chocolate bars. Isn't it ironic that you can import drugs no problem, but a Coffee Crisp gets hazardous material handling?

Who knows the horrors this box will face when it arrives at my job...which falls under DHS.

It'll probably just be a pile of sterile, plastic, commercial wrappers, escorted by an armed guard and attack dog by the time I get it.

God bless America.

I would have just put the candy in a padded envelope, put the postage on it, mailed it and not filled out any forms or anything :-)

Ugh, you're really twisting my arm, here! Urk! Agh! Oh, all right. Jennifer Connelly it is, then. I've had a crush on her since I was 16. Brunette, cerebral, and she has this look that always turns my knees into Smuckers strawberry preserves.

Now, if you don't mind, I have to finish these imported choccies. Ooh! Anthrax Ripple!

But that's what I tried to do. I just put it in a box, and mailed it. It went away for a few days and got returned to me, with a form telling me I needed to contact the FDA, and send in a blood sample, and urine test.

Heaven forbid...I can only assume that nothing like that takes place in my office, or I'd have been fired a looooong time ago.

(Hee! As my boss promptly walks behind me before I can react and gives me the 'caught you!' look!)

piperdown, heh, I had thought you always tried to do it the proper way :-) I used to mail videotapes to London using my method. I always wondered if at some point I was going to get in trouble for never filing out custom forms.

I think one videotape is a hair under 8 ounces, depending on what kind of envelope you use. Doesn't that mean you don't have to fill out the forms?

Good, then no laws were broken....except the times I mailed two tapes :-)

You know those blue & red "Priority" envelopes you can get from the USPS? They also have grey and red ones for Global priority, and that's what I use to send my BIL stuff in England. The first time I used one, I asked the post office guy how heavy it could be and he said (I promise): "Oh, we don't care. For the same $9 charge you can even pack these things so full you have to use packing tape to get them shut, but you just can't tape two of them together to make a box."

Two of them together? To make a box? Wow. I'd love to be a fly on the wall of a post office around Christmas to see what people try to get away with.

iMissEthan, I’m crossing fingers and toes that you get the WWTBAM call. My friend Dave was on a couple of months ago (he didn’t do very well).

Yes, you can say that you worked for Vandelay Industries. Sorry, that’s a bad “Seinfeld” reference.
This whole candy shipping escapade is fascinating. I wonder if the new FDA rules extend to border crossing too. I often bring back candy to Seattle when I’ve been up in Vancouver shopping.

I believe there's an exemption for stuff you personally bring with you.

Here's my catchup....

Number of states visited: 47 plus Washington DC (missing Hawaii and South Carolina and Oklahoma).

Countries lived in for at least six months: US, Canada, Singapore.

Countries visited: Mexico, Britain, Spain, Andorra, France, Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, Austria, Czechoslovakia (when it was one country), Switzerland, Italy, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Poland, Estonia, Russia, India, the Philippines, Thailand, Malaysia, Japan, South Korea, Hong Kong (when it a British colony), Grand Cayman, Cuba, Belize, China (just Tibet), Indonesia, Bangladesh.

I've seen shows in London's West End, but never an actual Broadway production. On the other hand, I have seen La Nozze di Figaro in New York, London, Paris, Zurich, Amsterdam, Munich, Vienna, San Francisco, Tokyo and Eugene, OR.

Luckily for me, one of our products is a web browser, and it's part of my job to use it on as many sites as possible. Plus, we give a weekly reward to the employee who can send around the URL to the squirreliest site.

Oh wow, you've been to Tibet, SorchaRei? That's one place I can only think would be ten times more fascinating to see than to read about or see pictures of. An amazing place -- do tell us about it!

As for the grapefruit soda, my favorite one when I was in Japan was melon soda (or meron, as they used to call it). Green, nicely honeydew melon flavored. You can actually find it in the US occasionally, but at ridiculous prices and only at specialty stores (or really unexpected spots -- I got some last year at the Dragon*Con science fiction convention in Atlanta, of all places). Yummy meron soda!

My new office is weird about surfing: I'm allowed to do just about anything (that's not porno or suchlike) except check my home email. Even at lunchtime, on my own time. Oh well, I can live with that. Our office manager actually suggested that I use streaming audio when I asked her if I could play CDs on my computer, first time I have ever worked somplace that allowed that. Most of the time I'm too busy to surf, however, so it's not a big deal. Plus my desk sits so that nobody can walk around behind me and see what's on my screen faster than I can switch to something innocent! :-)

Still no work on the Oak Ridge job. Sigh.

iME, good luck!

piperdown wrote:
absolutely!
This whole topic is fascinating, in an absurd sort of way. Gotta love beaurocrats.

Most unusual thing I've sent? Dried leaves. A friend in Singapore wanted to have some N.American plants to frame/use as decor, so I picked a bunch of leaves, etc. and dried/pressed them, layered them between sheets of paper and paperboard and stuck them in an envelope. It took me a while to decide on what to put on the customs form, and settled on 'homemade craft' since home decor counts as a craft, right?

All this talk about shipping stuff makes me wonder what happens to the stuff I order from Glarkware. I hope some freako doesn't do something to my shirts!

Here's something silly. Find out your pimp name. Hee!

Nice site, my favorite pimp name for myself is...
Sugartastic B. Squeeze.
Now hit those corners!!!

I love that are little community has come back to life. I am starting to think that Rachel should keep her Paypal account ready in case we need to bail out one of our own for smuggling or whatnot.

Well Kanuck! if you tell me where all the clean bathrooms are, where would my sense of adventure be? You think Kakabeka falls is worth a trip? Because for some reason I really want to go there. I might have been there when I was 5 and the name stuck with me or something.

A lot of people on here go to a lot of Broadway shows. Are they a lot cheaper in the US or what? Because when I wasted $70 bucks on Tommy in Toronto I swore I would never waste my money again. And that was after I saw Les Mis 4 times.

Broadway shows aren't cheaper in the US. Well, maybe on tours but not in New York. If you get a full price ticket for a Broadway show, you can expect to pay between $90-100 for the best seats. Shows are less expensive in London though. I remember when Cameron Mackintosh had the first $100 tickets for Miss Saigon - people went bitchcakes.

I think the key to developing your pimp name is to make sure that the word "Skillz" or "Shmoove" is present. Something that sounds candy-fied appears to work too. Hence, a few of my favorites are:

• Sweet Chocolate C. Flow
• Reverend Doctor Smith Skillz
• Sweet Chocolate C. Shmoove
• Sugartastic C. Skillz

edited for clarity

Heh. I'm "D. Magical Rachel Skillz". Oh yeah, I got skillz! I wonder what the D stands for?

You know, the whole candy situation really amuses me. I think we should do an experiment. Piperdown should ship his candy the legal way and I should just stick some candy in an envelope and mail it illegally. We'll see which package gets to Suga Wuga first. Hey, this could be a great Pyramid Scam! Everyone in Canada illegally mails a chocolate bar to Suga as part of an experiment and, before you know it, she's got a house-full of Crispy Crunch bars!

Diddy.

As someone who formerly ate candy, I have a small announcement to make: As of this morning, I am one pound from my goal weight, which means I've lost 25 pounds since Feb. 1.

About 75% of the excess weight was in my ass, so except from the rear angle I never looked like I really had a weight problem. But my pants got too tight and my blood pressure went up, so I tried dropping sugar first, then white flour. Except for one day, when I slipped big time (the day Rabrab met me in Green Bay, WI for ApprenticeCon-Green Bay, though by time she got there the damage had been done), I've been sugar-free. I feel a lot healthier, too. I've been binging on strawberries and whipped cream the last 2 weeks -- that's been dinner at least 4 times in the last 10 days.

All that having been said, each day I've been nibbling on really, really dark chocolate, because I can give up the sugar but not the cocoa. I'll swear, it's like a biological need or something. Very weird. And there's some extremely dark chocolate on the market. Right now, I've got chocolate with 86% cocoa. I used to hate that stuff because it was so bitter, but not any more.

Magic Tickle D. Rock

I'm having business cards made as we speak.

Dy-no-mite? I think Diddy is funnier.


I am so willing to sarifice and take some candy bars for the team. All for the sake of international relations, of course.

DariaG's post made me feel all guilty and stuff. I started cutting out sugar in late January and promptly lost 10 lbs. I have since fell off the wagon. Quite a bit. I'm not as bad as I used to be, but still. My neurotic boyfriend, who now reads the packaging on a daggone tic tac! before he'll eat one has lost at least 45 lbs. I'm still cuter though. So there.

Anyway, Daria, you're right. I never would have thought that you had 25 lbs. to lose. When I read that I had a mental picture of you being nothing but a head and some shoulders. But, of course, as someone who personally knows the art of camouflage dressing, I understand what you mean about others not understanding your desire to lose a few. Congratulations!

go typos!

My pimp name is Pimptastic P. Shmoove, I can dig it.

No new word on the Midnight Chocolate Express. I think the university is waiting for their customs broker to finish the paperwork.

I think the problem with what I did, was I tried to use the wrong company. I should have just used regular mail. I was trying to get it there quick, and now look what happened. Under the heading "special Delivery instructions" I had to fight from putting " Let get it there...Bitch Love Pimptastic P. Shmoove" But I didn't think that would go over well.

What I should have done was driven the 40km to THE DAMN BORDER, and mailed it once I crossed. That's what I hould have done. Oh well, maye next time.

Wow, Daria - congrats. You're queen of will power, as far as I'm concerned. I sit here now muching on Tim Tam original cookies. Thank god they have to be imported from Australia, because they're just too delicious to exist. It's amazing to me that everyone in Australia isn't at least 300 pounds.

I shall heretoforwith be known as Ice Master Erin Fresh. You little people will now refer to me as such.

Just a note on Broadway shows... My uncle and his girlfriend live in NYC and they have year-long memberships to [some club or something] that costs about $35/year. See, for many Broadway showings they want the audience to be super-full and often they can tell by mid afternoon that the show will be very un-full. On those days, they send out an email blast to the members of [that club] to tell them that for $5-10 they can attend that night's showing. They get to see TONS of plays without spending the big bucks.

No sugar? At all? Yeah, I'd die. My mom has lost 60 pounds and counting on Weight Watchers (it works, people - screw Atkins). Now, she eats a piece of hard candy and it tastes extra sweet to her because she hasn't had it for so long. Me? I like sweets. I eat dessert every day. I also like fruits, veggies, and I LOVE seafood, so I eat plenty of those, but I'd be an evil witch without sweets. I should watch my sugar intake: my father, his father, and his late mother are all diabetic, so it's in my genes (all were diagnosed well into adulthood), but I don't think I could go cold turkey. Gummy Bears rule. Props to you, Daria, and congrats on reaching your goal.

If I use my real name I'm Golden Brown J. Shizzle, if I use my screen name I'm Stealth Maestro M. Dogg. Forget the fact I'm trying to get to Stalker, I'm changing my screen name (once I decide which one I like better)

Oh yeah, I should have said, there are ways around paying the big bucks (there is also the TKTS booth, standing room). I wind up paying the big bucks because normally my reason for going to NY (besides TARCON of course) is to see a specific show so I have to get the tickets beforehand.

Hello again gang, I've been away too long! And by "I" I mean President Gee Rockerfeller! Heh.

So now that things are hopping around here again, I was wondering if anyone was planning to have a TAR5 premiere-watching shindig? (Actually, mr pseudo was wondering, but does he actually register and post his question? *sigh* Maybe this season....) Also, on a totally unrelated note, any librarians out there planning to go to ALA Orlando?

Congrats Daria!

ETA: BWAH! mr pseudo's pimpnick is Devious Honey D. Wicked!

I might actually. If there are enough Tarflies at my Jeopardy viewing party that want to stay around after Jeopardy to watch TAR, the party may continue.

Ooo, watching the TAR5 premiere with my fellow inconsiderate asses in DC. What a great idea!

Why would you invite anyone who doesn't appreciate TAR to your Jeopardy party?

I'll be there, but you knew that already.