Watch the never thing. I was talking about this with my mom, and she recalls years ago going to a Jewish funeral that had an open casket. The man died completely out of the blue from a heart attack at age 30. His wife wanted to be able to look at him for as long as she could, and the funeral home agreed to her request.

Is it just Catholics who do open casket, or is it all Christian religions? What about Buddhists/Muslims?

The other day when I saw people filing by the coffin on TV, I was surprised it was closed. I don't see the point of waiting hours to see a flag-draped box. I thought he'd be behind glass, like Lenin.

I'm Lutheran, and we do open caskets although it's optional. Both of my parents have passed away, and we had the casket closed both times. That was at their request because they both felt open caskets were slightly "barbaric" (my mom's words).

Much of my family is fundamentalist Christian (unfortunately) and we almost always have open caskets, and sometimes nearly a week between death and funeral to make sure all the relatives get to come to visitation and make casseroles and whatnot. We're Southern, too, which I think feeds into that extended mourning period. Hated it when I was younger, and still do. I have a clear memory of my psycho aunt throwing herself on my grandfather's body, and me refusing to walk past the coffin. Shudder.

Of course my family is under strict instructions to have me cremated, which horrifies religious family members because fundamentalist sects tend to take the Bible literally, and if you're body isn't around to get resurrected at Judgment Day you don't get to go to Heaven. Uh-huh.

My college job for the holidays was delivering flowers for the one florist in town. The first time I ever saw a dead body was when I delivered the flowers for a funeral and the f. director was busy and asked me to put the rose in the dead lady's hand. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.

I'm Southern Baptist, and we almost always have open casket funerals, although it's really up to the family. I think most people around here have open caskets no matter what their religious persuasion. It's just what's done. My husband and I have both given orders to each other that an open casket will not be allowed. He grew up in West Africa and said people there think that sort of thing is barbaric. I have to agree. I always file past during the service to avoid making a scene (my mother would kill me), but I don't look. I did sneak a peek at my grandmother during her funeral recently (it was hard not to notice her lying there), and it didn't even look like her. It (I can't say her because it wasn't) was just dead. Empty. She was not there. And then one cousin fell apart during the viewing portion of the service and collapsed on the casket and practically had to be carried back to her seat.

I'd consider cremation but the fire kind of creeps me out. I know, I wouldn't feel it, what with being dead and all, but just the thought of it creeps me out. Also, I've always wanted a grave with a tombstone that people who don't know me can walk by and see. That's my other funeral requirement. I must be buried in a cemetery that allows standing stones, not just the things that lie flat in the ground. I want something people can see.

We don't usually have a week between the death and the funeral but often 3-4 days, depending on how far away people are and when they can get there. The only meal I'm familiar with is the one for family either right before or after the funeral that is usually prepared and served by women at the church. For our family, it's always been a kind of family reunion. I remember taking family pictures at my great-grandmother's funeral, since everyone was there anyway. Of course, that was the funeral when they all argued about the order of the processional from the church to the funeral home.

See, I don't think it was the same kid. I think the same kid actually showed up in an earlier scene and this other kid was in a even earlier scene, then in all the later scenes. Does that make sense? I'm thinking I saw: other kid first, same kid second, then other kid for rest of movie. But maybe I just imagined the same kid. Whatever. I'm getting a headache thinking about it.

Meee tooo!! I am so glad that I'm not the only one who thought this. My co-jerkers tried to make me feel like an idiot when I was all, "It's just gonna be a box in the rotunda? HAHAHAHAHAHA. What's the point?"

I'm used to open caskets. My mother had one and was then cremated. I don't know why. I think I'd prefer a life-size cardboard cut-out or something. I don't think there will be much of "me" left after the donor folks and scientists take what they want.

I think open-casket seems to be the norm these days, except in cases where the dead person was burned or something.

Is it just me, or does it seem that in the US TV media the top three stories all week have been in order: Ronald Reagan, OJ Simpson, and Scot Peterson? I'd get pretty tired of that, extremely quickly. Thank goodness for BBC World Service on radio.

BermyTryangle, don't forget about the J.Lo marriage. It's a sad day when another miserable and doomed union replaces the actual news.

I just wanted to stop in here and yell, "What up?" before I started posting for the new season. I've changed names since the last season where I posted all over the place (I was desibee). I haven't been on since Flo, because I was scarred for a year or so, and I needed to regroup. I am now ready, and I can't wait to share this season with you all, and most importantly, to pledge my alligiance to Miss Alli.

So "Hello" everyone! Looking forward to snarking with you.

Ah HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's priceless!

I'm New England Congregationalist, and the open casket is very rarely seen in my neck of the cultural woods. In fact, the casket itself is very rarely seen. We tend to have private cremations and burials and then follow up with a memorial service. That way, we can more successfully squash any improper emotions that might have the temerity to swim towards the surface.
SOmetimes, in fact, the memorial service is months later, depending on family schedules and the like.

Heh. I think I should have been born a New Englander, Hildy. There are a lot of emotions in my family I WISH we could squash.

Wow. I am so not getting a lot of work done today.

I thought it would be glass, too, iMissEthan. Add me to the list of "dislikes open caskets." My family is Presbyterian/protestant and every funeral I've attended has been open-casket. Creeps me out. I would much rather see a closed casket or a nice urn with a picture of the deceased next to it. I do not believe that seeing my loved ones dead with tons of makeup on will help me remember them alive. I am, however, informed by my mother that it is extremely important to some people to actually see the dead person "being dead," so I guess it's an individual thing. Me? Mr. Magoozen and I have pledged to be creamated, then scattered in our favorite river. I do not want anyone standing around, looking at my dead body, discussing how "alive" I do or do not look. Cree-pee. Maybe I'm part Klingon - The body is an empty shell; treat it as such.

Speaking of scattering ashes, one time Mr. Magoozen was asked by a childhood friend to scatter the ashes of the friend's father in a marina in Mr. M's home town, where they had often spent summers, years ago. On our trip to Home Town, we stopped at the local bar and tossed back a few, because it's not every day you deal with a person's remains. About 2am we walked down to the marina, Mr. M opened the box and the three plastic bags with the twisty ties and proceeded to scatter the ashes. Unfortunately, he forgot to check the wind direction beforehand and the ashes blew right back into his sandals. Ew, ew, ew. Of course, being a little tipsy, it was extremely difficult to maintain the reverence required for the occasion. So we didn't. (Insert your own toe jam joke here) ;P

On a lighter note, I'm loving the discussions in this thread. The paranoid in me also has to wonder what my co-workers secretly think about me. I have a somewhat loud speaking voice (I'm a little hard of hearing - yes, I have hearing aids, but they seem to hinder more than help) and I have low tolerance for low talkers. After a while I just smile and nod my head. Some day that's going to get me into trouble, I know. ("But I don't wanna be a pirate!")

YAY! TAR is almost here!

Thanks for all the info on different Christian denominations. I suspected open casket was an option for all Christians, but my mother seemed to think it was a Catholic thing. However, when I asked her how many non-Catholic Christian funerals she had been to, I think I stumped her. The only reason I thought it was true is because of my vast knowledge of TV. I've seen too many wacky sitcoms when something gets dropped into the casket for it to be only Catholics who do it that way.

I'm still curious about other faiths, but perhaps I'll have to ask people in real life. I'm all for organ donation and cremation for myself. Do you think Hugh Jackman & Ewan McGregor would get into a tub together so I could be sprinkled into their bath water?

If they do, iMiss Ethan I volunteer to sprinkle you!

Heh, that is what my coworker keeps saying - its just a box! It was 92 degrees at 12 pm already in DC. It is going to be hot as hell this afternoon.

But even then, they could still wind up alive on an island that's an exact replica of their hometown.

Well, according to Days of Our Lives, at least.

I was brought up Catholic and the majority of our wakes were open casket, but almost always just half-casket. I think I only remember one where the full lid was open so you could see their legs as well. So I've just been used to it from an early age, but I guess in some ways it is a little gruesome. Plus, a lot depends on the quality of the funeral home. On my mom's side of the family, which is 100% Italian, they used a friend of the family's going years back from the "old neighborhood", and the people looked as natural and close to how they normally looked as possible. My dad's side of the family used a funeral home that was close to their houses in the suburbs, and the people always looked cakey and pasty and barely recognizable.

Amen about the organ donation--I have a hard time understanding people who don't agree to organ donation (unless you have a religious reason)--I mean, you're dead, right? I'm not saying they're wrong, I just don't understand it. Cremation, though, ugh. I've had a hideous, irrational fear of fire ever since I watched Mary's baby burn up in that Little House on the Prairie show. (Most of my childhood fears revolve around Little House shows.)

And I even liked President Reagan but this is a BIT much. Yes, he is dead, yes, it's tough for the family (although a relief and a release), yes, he was important to the country, but, hello? Iraq is still going on, the G8 are meeting now, and we have a huge drought in the West. I don't think we need 24-7 coverage of each wheel turn of the hearst.

And for breakfast this morning? Four shortbread cookies!

Okay, so I can vent for a second? We bought a new laptop from Dell, and it arrived yesterday. We started to set it up, and noticed the internal network was flaky at best. So my husband, who knows a lot about MS systems (he teaches the university faculty about them, as well as Unix and Linux), knows that XP Home isn't as savvy about networks as XP Pro, so he uninstalled Home and installed Pro. Didn't help. So I call Dell this morning. Once I get through the run-around, talk to India twice, get hung up on once, wait on hold twenty minutes three times, I finally get to talk to someone who is allowed to help me. When he found out that we had installed Pro, he told me that my warrenty is void and he can no longer help me. What? Installing a new piece of software voids my HARDWARE warrenty? Yup, he says. Sorry. Good-bye.

WHAT? I am so steamed right now I can barely sit still. I had to change my tone of voice to a happy, cheerful sound when I called my husband to tell him because my baby was looking at me with a scared expression on his face. So they send us a piece of defective hardware, and they aren't responsible for it TWENTY-FOUR hours later because we upgraded to the Pro edition of the OS. Does that make ANY sense?

GRRRRRRR.

"The wheels on the hearse go round and round..."

OK, I'm officially going to hell.

kt7byu, call Dell back and get a different person and see if you get the same answer. Because I think calling Dell these days is like calling the IRS: No two people give you the same answer, except that generally they're ALL wrong. The one you spoke to was full of crap, if you ask me. The only thing that voids your hardware warranty is opening the guts of the computer without permission. Thus speaketh the multiple Dell owner.

Before you spend more money on the phone calls, read the fine print on your paperwork--somewhere it will say what voids the warranty. If it lists changing the OS, then you're screwed. If it doesn't, call back and use this mantra: "This is my problem. If you can't help me, please transfer me to someone who can." Repeat calmly and firmly as often as necessary, until you get to someone who can help you. And make sure they understand that you're talking about the hardware warranty, not the software warranty.

Me, too, Dodo, except if the person died of something that made them look reeeeeally bad, then the casket was closed.

Catholics are VAIN, yo.

Awwwwww I can't believe Reagan's death is causing so many problems for people! I have to say that IMHO, the coverage is appropriate...Its only been what, 4-5 days. They spent MONTHS on Princess Di's death, MONTHS (felt like years) on the OJ Simpson ruckus, WEEKS on the 9/11 Commission, so DAYS on the death of a former president?...doesn't phase me. Even if it had been Clinton (who I hated), a former president deserves this sort of attention. Like him or not, Reagan reshaped modern politics. You may not like the change, but he was a tremendous man for it. And the networks and cable stations wouldn't show it if people weren't watching it...I just read an article about how their numbers have skyrocketed. Some people must be enjoying all the broohah! (not to be confused with HooYay!) I? rarely watch tv.

On a funny, side note, my bf's mom was all ticked off because they canceled a show about going down into the titanic to show Ronald Reagan stuff.

Saw an amazing race commercial last night....I'm so excited!!!!

Yeah, but the coverage of Diana, O.J. and the 9/11 Commission also annoyed me, although not so much that last one because I only have basic cable and the primary networks didn't really break into regular programming for it. At least not when I was watching. If there is something new and interesting, sure, break into programming. But watching the hearse go slowly down the road? Not so much. And it's not like his death was unexpected.

Then again, a woman told me Monday that she cried when she saw the footage of Nancy laying her head down on the coffin. I just wanted to know how come in the coverage I saw, no one mentioned that Nancy was his second wife. (Also, does anybody know if he and Jane Wyman were married when he and Nancy met? Or were they already divorced?) (The woman mentioned above also cried when the first Bush lost in 1992. I think she's a little too involved in these things.)

Sorry about that - I should know better than to speak in absolutes. I would say that they must have been reformed jews (like me), or not overly-religious (like my dad's side of the family - I have ultra-orthodox cousins who don't speak to us, with the black hats and beards and pais and who lived in a "closed" community up in Monroe, NY - the whole shebang).

The reason for the closed casket is actually in part practical. We don't embalm, and no organs are removed (we must be buried whole - there's been some controversy in recent years whether to relax the standards to allow organ donation. reform jews are now allowed to donate "life-saving" organs, like hearts and livers, but not things like corneas) so the body starts to decompose immediately, and is not really "presentable". This is also why the funerals have to occur so quickly.

We also don't adorn the bodies - no makeup, no clothing, no jewelry (generally just swaddled in white cloth). They didn't allow my grandmother to be buried with her dentures - my mom was crazily upset about this at the time, because grandma wouldn't go anywhere without them. Someone does have to "identify" the body the day of funeral, but that's usually in private. And they'll open the casket for individuals upon request (which I've seen happen at several funerals, but again, it's done with only those requesting in the room).

I've given my husband orders to give me a Viking funeral. Load me onto a boat with my possessions, set the boat on fire, and send me down the river. Mainly because my in-laws would be appalled (they're Southerners).

Luckily, Reagan's death isn't getting much coverage down here. The Embassy will be closed on Friday, so I'll have Mr. Weds in my hair all day long. I think the hype is because we haven't had a president die in 31 years.

How awful is it that Reagan's death doesn't bother me, mainly because I thought he was already dead?

My father was Jewish and buried through a Jewish funeral home/cemetary. It wasn't orthodox by any means, but we had to pick out clothes for him to wear (but no shoes, apparently they don't put shoes on dead people), so I was surprised to read the no clothing thing. And they didn't expect us to open the casket, but we did briefly to put a photo in. I can't say any more because I'm tearing up at the thought, but suffice to say they weren't prepared for us wanting to do that.

you know, I've only ever had to do planning related stuff for women (my grandmother and mother), so it's quite possible that different people do things a little differently.

Also, I should point out that I'm pretty lapsed religiously myself, but most of my knowledge of this stuff comes from my dad, who was raised in an orthodox house (sort of*), so our family customs probably actually fall on the side of super-traditional and quite possibly not entirely mainstream.

*I say sort of because my dad's mother was orthodox, but was disowned by most of her family for marrying my grandfather, who was protestant (and the reason why, when people meet me, they think I'm Irish). My grandfather died when my dad was a baby, and so my grandmother, while shunned by most of her family, still raised my dad super-conservatively - it was the only thing she knew. She did have help from one sister and brother. And that sister (my Aunt May), was the only reason I've ever even met the hasidic part of my family. Needless to say, they don't like us very much.

And on the Reagan dying stuff -



Didn't Nixon die just a few years ago?

I personally am getting a little worn out by the coverage - there is other, pretty major, stuff going on in the world right now. Also, I don't think you can compare it to something like Princess Di, because I think the kerfluffle over her death was as much over the shocking way in which it happened as anything. Reagan was 93, and we've all been sitting around waiting for the other shoe to drop for 10 years, since the Alzheimer's announcement.

That being said, my own personal tirement of the coverage certainly does not mean that it's inappropriate. I agree that he presided during the course of major world events, and changed the political discourse in this country (of course, in my view, for the worse, but still!).

I also think they're eschewing an open casket because, dude, have you ever seen someone after 10-years with alzheimer's? not really a pretty sight. I'm sure that the Reagans', including Nancy who has always been concerned with Ronnie's image, would rather have pictures of him as the cowboy on the cover of newsweek than as a shriveled old man.

Hee hee hee. I know! Hadn't heard a whisper about him in years. And I guess I really didn't care much either.

I was having the worst day ever - my car thing is just spiralling out of control and it looks like I may just junk it and start a search for something newer if I can scrape together the money - and then my sweetie sent me flowers! Everyone together now... Awwwwwww.

The last former president to die before Ronald Reagan died on Saturday was Richard Nixon, 11 years ago shortly after Bill Clinton became president.
The last former president to be accorded a state funeral was Lyndon Johnson in 1973, shortly after Richard Nixon was sworn in for his second term.
The last president to die in office was John Kennedy, 41 years ago.
It's a bit frustrating seeing and hearing media reports where they get this sort of easily veriiable historical facts wrong. It drive me up the wall, in fact.

Are schools getting Friday off? Isn't it finals week in a lot of places? I saw some kids on the bus during my commute this morning, and I came very close to asking them, but figured they had the no talking to strangers rule drilled into them.

I was cursing the bastard for dying because the investment bank I temp at is closing, so no pay for me. But, since I'm on track to become a permanent employee, they told me they'll pay me. So not only do I get the joy of Reagan finally dying, but I get a paid day off!

I'm not watching bleebleeblahblahboo anyway, so I'm not getting funeral coverage, but someone today asked me (sarcastically) if I was going to mourn on Friday. I replied that I spent a few seconds feeling compassion for his family, and so I'm done with it. Never liked the man, but I'd think it was overdone for someone I did like.

Funny cremation story: The Zzard's parents both opted for cremation. After his dad died, TZ and Zzard-mom were at the funeral home, filling out the forms and everything. One of the forms carried a warning: "cremation is irreversible." Z-mom said "that's good to know." As TZ says, you're not supposed to laugh when you're preparing to have your father cremated, but he did snicker at that one.

I'm starting to think Nixon did us all a favor by not having a state funeral. I remember he died while I was on a Scout camping trip and that was the only time I've ever had to use my knowledge of how to properly fly a flag at half mast. I think I'd feel a little funny getting a day off for this, so I'm glad I'm not.

You know, I never thought I'd say that. Weird.

Awesome! And heh.

In similar promising work news, I'm pretty sure I heard Ms. I HAVE NO INDOOR VOICE blare she was going to be out on vacation all next week. Whee!

It's all about the cremation or closed casket for me. If you don't care enough to see me when I'm alive, you're sure as hell not going to see me when I'm dead.

Although several of my family members were in a car with my grandfather's ashes in the trunk (they were in route from the town where he died to where he was to be buried), and my dad turned a corner, we heard a clunk in the trunk, and burst into laughter. All ashes were contained in the box, luckily.

That is an awesome story, Bart.

Yeah, you know . . . when I looked into my Grandma's open casket, I remember thinking that I had somehow expected it to seem to be her, and it didn't seem to be her at all. It seemed to be a doll, sort of, or a weird representation of her. Dead people really don't look like alive people, or sleeping people.

Thank you, Miss Alli. You have just described my reaction to my grandmother in her casket. I never could seem to find the right words, but yeah, it was like this weird rubbery doll that looked sort of like her. It was icky.

When my grandmother died (a devout Catholic) she specified "no open casket." But mainly because she also requested that she be buried in her "most comfy pajamas." Hee, hee. That woman was sooooo cool.

When my grandfather died, my mom and her brother had him creamated until they could find the time to fly him from Alberta to Montreal, where his plot was and where his wife was buried. When they went to get on the plane my uncle was asked if he had any carry-on luggage and he said, "Just my dad; he's going in the overhead compartment."

The airline wasn't very happy about it, but they let him go. I think they were afraid if they didn't let the ashes on my uncle would empty the box over the check in desk.

Heeee. That's awesome, ThatGrrl. When my grandfather died at the age of 81, he requested half open-casket and was wearing his best suit... and his fuzzy bunny slippers. This is also the man who left a list of actions that were to be performed at his funeral (number one on the list being "no damn hymns!") God, I miss that man.

I think it's rather silly that people get the day off to honor Reagan. I mean, it's not like most people will be going to the funeral. The majority of people won't even be mourning him, they'll just be like: "Woo hoo! A day off!" And there's nothing respectful about that. (Not that I'm judging, I would definitely be one of the "Woo hoo!" people.)

In fact, my good friend in the States said that, at work they started thinking which of the other former presidents might go to give them that free day. The consensus was that Ford was most likely, though Carter and Bush are in the right age frame. Clinton seems likely to be around for awhile. They also agreed that some calamity at the funeral wiping them all out was not the best scenario, because that would likely result in only one day off for all of them instead of a seperate day for each. Another guy disagreed though, saying it could still work if they were in a helicopter crash and one died instantly, one held on in the hospital for a week or so, another held on for a month or so, etc.

See, that's why I don't fear going to Hell. I know all my friends will be there with me.

Aaargh! I've been drinking dummy juice today, I meant to say it was the first state funeral in 31 years, not the first dead president in 31 years. Nixon's family demurred on a state funeral.

Ah, Reagan idolatry. Let's put him on the dime, just to bump FDR and piss off the Democrats! Let's put him on the ten dollar bill! Or, I got it! Mount Rushmore! Let's not even wait until his body's cold! Now now now!

Barf. Why can't we just wait a couple decades more for history to judge him, then if it seems right, decide he should be on every denomination of currency, have every airport named after him, and put his smirky mug on Mount Rushmore.

When my grandfather died, it was after wasting away in the final stages of Parkinson's. My grandmother insisted on an open casket, and there he was, gaunt and made up within an inch of his....er, I was going to say life, but that doesn't work, does it?

Anyway, it was gruesome. And became even moreso when Grandmother threw herself wailing on his body. She waited until there was a good crowd there to witness it, I might add, so I've always been suspicious about whether she was upset he was gone or relieved she no longer had to take care of him; she certainly didn't mourn much after the funeral was over! Of course, she just died last fall at the age of 102, so that orneriness apparently also led to long life, so I'm not complaining about my end of the gene pool!

My dad went the cremation route, as will my mom. In Seattle there's a group called Peoples' something-or-other that you sign up with and pay a minimal amount (like $1500) and that includes all funeral expenses and cremation, and the funeral home that handles it for them isn't allowed to charge one more cent. Not that they didn't try, of course.

When my kids' very reform Jewish dad died, we held an after-funeral gathering at his childhood home, in a neighborhood that has in ensuing years become ultra-orthodox. One of the men down the street paid the ritual call (my BIL said he held out hopes of bringing him back into the fold), and was really patient with my heathen son asking about his clothing and everything. I was pleasantly surprised at his kindness to one who was about as far from being a religious Jew as you could get.

Sigh. No joke. One airport is enough for him. No one seems to remember the air traffic controller strike at all. Oh. Means I'm old? Yep. Guess you're right.

Red Bubbles, somewhere, your grandfather and my grandmother are sharing a beer together.

Ah, funeral stories! When my father died, my brothers and I went to the local lumber shop, bought the materials for his casket and put it on his bill. We decided to forgo the funeral home, and transport him to the cremetorium on our own. My brother had to get a temporary hearse license, because they don't let just anyone drive a corpse around. It was all a huge hassle, but we saved money, and my father was always one for bucking the system.

All our schools are out for the summer. I know that my nephews, however, in DC, are still in school until the end of June.

I didn't know my maternal grandma was going to have an open casket and was totally unprepared. I had told my mom that I didn't want to sit behind my cousin 'cause if he started to cry (he was only about 11 and had lived next door to our grandma all his life), I'd lose it. He didn't cry. Then, as we walked out, I said 'g'bye grandma' and busted up bawling. *sniff* she was great.

When my paternal grandpa died, his ashes were taken out on a navy ship and spread in the pacific ocean. He was career navy and had spent much of his career going back and forth between the US and Japan/Korea/etc.. My Baba (paternal grandma) also had her ashes spread across the pacific...she had been born to Missionaries in Japan, grew up there, and spent most of her adult life traveling back and forth. In fact, they met in Japan as my grandpa was working his way around the world. *awwwwww*

heee.

I'm off to go buy a dress for a wedding I'm attending on Saturday. The hunt has been unsuccessful so far.....why couldn't the wedding have been last spring when I lost so much weight due to adkins and chicken pox?

For once, I'm bored at work - ahhh, lovely Spokane - and so I took the time to go familiarize myself with all of the TAR 5 teams and made a little spreadsheet (shut up), with descriptions, and my pre-hate/pre-love judgements.
I'll have it all ready for when our beautiful Miss Alli has the racer threads up.

As far as the Reagan thing goes, I am so so glad that I don't live in DC anymore - all of the media coverage must be horrifying. My parents are out of town right now so they dont' have to deal with it. Blissfully, WA state local stations haven't had a tremendous amount of coverage on it. Or at least not when I've been watching tv.

iMissEthan I like your idea of "ash sprinkle bath time" with Hugh and Ewan.

The racer threads are up and going strong, DutchessKitty -- you'd better get over there and start reading before they get away from you! I tried desperately to keep up with them this afternoon, in between bouts of pretending to work whenever my boss would approach, but had to give up and come home with a lot unread!

I do have to admit, however, that if I was still living in DC and working on Pennsyvania Avenue at 10th, I would have walked over to Constitution today to see the funeral procession. Not because I liked Reagan, but because there are some things that are just worth seeing. Also because President Kennedy's funeral procession made such a huge impression on me as a kid that it's on my list of things I'd like to see in this lifetime. (I did take my son to the Million Mom March a few years ago for just that very reason, to see 750,000 people all together in one place -- he was duly impressed!)

Labral, the story about your grandfather's ashes made me remember something amusing about my own grandfather's funeral. My grandfather had been in the Navy, for about a minute. After basic, they shipped him out for active duty in WWII. He promptly came down with smallpox on the way over, recouperated and was sent home. End of military service. When the family showed up at the funeral home, the standard questions were asked. "Was he in the military?" Well, yes. And he received an honorable discharge. Result: military burial. We always thought he would have had an excellent giggle over that. "Get smallpox and receive a military burial." Not the greatest military service ad campaign ever, but my family (myself included) is easily amused.

[I definitely do not want to take anything away from those who served in the military, much longer than my granddad. The point is that my grandfather would have willingly admitted that he was a lot less deserving than almost all qualifying for military burial.]

My grandfather and his best friend Conrad Rippy enlisted in the Army together in WWI, and promised each other they'd name their firstborn son after each other. Conrad Rippy got the Spanish influenza and died on his way over to Europe, so my grandfather kept his promise and named my dad Conrad. A sweet story, no?

Except Grandmother told us the rest of it a few years ago. Seems that every year on the anniversary of Conrad Rippy's death, my grandfather and Conrad Rippy's father would get up before the crack of dawn to have a contest to see who could be the first to place flowers on his grave. Men!