Anyone like the show tonight (13 Jan 2004), w/the Donald, his Hair, Scarlett Johansson, and Dave Matthews all tongue-tied? I thought I saw Leno dig a little after the Donald.

So I was channel surfing the other night and saw Leno doing his rendition of "Stupid Human Tricks".

Does this man have ONE original idea? If so, I have yet to see it.

The part I liked was that Leno showed Trump the SNL segment. Heh. I think I actually saw Trump squirming a little. Well, as much as he can, what with the stiff upper lip and all.

Has Jay mentioned anything about the newscaster in Ohio who had to resign from her job because she entered a wet T-shirt contest while on vacation and a video was made? It's a local story where I live and I'm curious to know if it made the late night talk show circut.

I think he ran out about the time he took over for Carson.

I agree on Leno's shameless pandering to his audience, guests, the networks, the political powers that be, ect... a good source on his assumption of control of the Tonight Show is the book The Late Shift. Leno's agent, Helen Kushnick planted stories about NBC wanting to replace Carson which was the catalyst of the transfer of power and Letterman heading to CBS. Kushnick eventualy got fired because she was a nightmare as producer of The Tonight Show, being a principal in guest embargos and fighting with Littlefield, but Jay maintained he was ignorant he didn't know about her trying to push Johnny out the door. After all these years of watching Jay's shameless ambition, pandering, stealing Dave's bits and willingness to whore himself out to anyone, I'm not sure I buy it anymore.

Bill Hicks did a scathing bit on Leno on one of his albums (Rant in E-Minor I believe) that Leno took exception to. Jay left an answering machine message on Bill Hicks machine cussing him out. Hicks circulated it amoungst other comics. I've heard about the tape from a couple of places, one of which was Bobcat Goldthwait who said it was the funniest hing Jay had ever done.

Jay Leno's "Read the fine print" is a direct rip-off from Conan o'Brien, which is really really dumb because Conan's is a spoof of Jay's 'Headlines'(.........which is also a rip-off from Dave Letterman.)

Kim Cattrell is so so so skinny!

Albmo Word on Leno's lame fine print.

I can't wait for Leno to do his RIP OFF of unfair edit

Does someone on the writing staff have an obsession with food. Everytime I catch any of Jays monologue, he's constantly talking about how fat we are. These jokes and the shut ups are really getting on my nerves.

McWord to infinity. Honestly every monologue is the same as the night the before, blah blah fat joke, blah blah illegal aliens getting drivers licenses, blah blah shut up, blah blah i'm an unfunny hack who is unfit to lick the soles on Conan's or Letterman's shoes.

luvmedo20[QUOTE]blah blah i'm an unfunny hack who is unfit to lick the soles on Conan's or Letterman's shoes.

Dave's out of town this week, and though I've tried, I don't even bother turning on Leno anymore on account of he's, I don't know, appalling, ghastly, atrocious, whatever, anyway, I was thinking that now that Conan's getting on, he's a middle aged man, isn't it about time that NBC gave him a grown-up time slot? I love Dave and all, but he's been taking alot more vacations lately, and I don't really want to hear about the new little league teams starting up in Iraq or Bush programs to teach us how to have successful marriages over on niteline.

Chambliss writes:



I agree, but I look at it this way: Dave and Conan (and for that matter, Koppel, when he's got Chris Bury subbing for him) have learned to accomodate the basic physiopsychological need for rest, and as such, are less likely to burn out and get sick, and thus their reigns are extended that much more. Conversely, Jay "I gotta cut the postmortem short tonight guys, I'm emceeing the GE Partners' Banquet and then I gotta do my weekend slot at Caesar's Palace" Leno will go to rehearsal one day soon and his heart will explode like a water balloon full of mascarpone cheese.

Hey guys. I caught a rerun of the show tonight where he had Elton John and Cedric The Entertainer as guests. What was up with Elton's pinstripe suit? Some of the pinstripe threads were all bonkers. Did he come out like that or did some incident happen to cause them to come undone? I thought it was really weird.

Do people really like Jaywalking or do they find it extremly sad like I do?

I find Jaywalking both sad and infuriating. I refuse to watch it.

I like Jaywalking but I feel extremely sad that people can be so dumb. Jay Leno's mainly background noise for my late evening surfing, anyways.

I hope I'm not getting my talk shows mixed up because I do channel surf, but did anyone see Melissa Ethridge? Is she pregnant?

I suspect that the folks on Jaywalking really aren't so dumb; I bet that a large percentage of these people just want to be on national TV even if that means acting like an idiot. There is probably a smaller percentage of people who get nervous on camera and can't think of the right answer; but again, probably nine out of ten of those interviewed are shameless fame whores. "Hey, who needs dignity? I'm gonna be on TV!"


I didn't see the Melissa Etheridge segment. I did hear that David Crosby is looking rather more smug than usual, though.

I rarely watch Leno, but tuned in to see the great Kurt Russell and it was worth it. The guy is just impossible to dislike. I love his laugh and his sense of humor and he comes across as a genuinely nice guy. Also stayed to see the little kid who was cute as a button. Kurt's MJ joke was in bad taste, and we've heard enough jokes on that subject from Leno, but I'll admit I laughed.

See I find that more sad than being so dumb you don't get that he is trying to make a fool out of you.


And if anyone knows what it takes to look like a fool, Jay does.

I accidentally taped Leno instead of Letterman on Thurs night. Why does this hack get better ratings than Dave? Maybe people really want to get to sleep and need the boredom. When I saw that one of his guests was Queen Latifah I thought great! I love the Queen but even that interview was awful. I'm watching Conan now with the hillarious Megan Mullally and Harry Connick Jr. Hopefully I won't waste another 40 mins of my life.

What was with that belly outfit Badu was wearing tonight? Is she pregnant? If so, why bare the puffy belly? If not, then why bare the puffy belly?

I rarely ever watch Leno, but when I do, it's on Monday nights for the Headlines. I do have the sense of humor of a six-year-old, so I totally find that stuff amusing. Dave's version of Headlines is a surprise to me b/c I was too young to stay up and watch Dave that late--(has he really been on for 15 + years??) it's new to me.

Anyone tune in yesterday? Those two annoying blondes? Gah! The way the celebs' eyes darted around like they wanted to be anyone but there was too funny. They were so grating that you'd think the only reason Jay hired them was for their looks, but ew.

Heh. I think Jay hired them specifically because they make celebs' eyes dart around. I know I enjoyed it.

Besides the fact that his monologue is the same every night does anyone else notice that the band only knows 3 songs! It's always "Walk this Way", "Lose Yourself" and another stupid song. Seriously learn some new songs!!!!

Now that you mention it, the lady in the band seems to have a affinity for the first "Rage Against the Machine" album. Seems like everytime I pay attention, she's rock-rapping away to some "Rage" tune.

Is the other stupid song the one where the lady sings, "I was just outta high school..." and it alwayas cuts to commercial? I have no idea what song that is, but it just grates...

Funny, that's EXACTLY how I feel about Letterman. I watch Leno because I think Letterman's a jerk.



I remember her telling Oprah a few weeks back that she and Tammy (her spouse) are planning to have a baby and that Melissa would be the carrier while Tammy is the egg donor. If she is pregnant, then congrats to them! :)

For lovers and haters alike, here's a Fortune article on Jay. At the very least I totally admire his work ethic.

I think it is kind of crazy, you made it you have tons of money. Enjoy it. He works all day, everyday, even weekend. Just proves how stupid he is to me.

All that work and this is all he can come up with, Sad.

I can't believe people actually like Leno. Especially when they could be watching Letterman. Seriously. Leno's monologues are so boring. I don't care for Letterman's either, but at least he has the sense to keep it short, unlike Leno who will ramble for 15 minutes with his lame jokes. It is a mystery to me why Leno consistently beats Dave in ratings. Not only is Leno unfunny, he's actually anti-funny. He goes beyond just not being funny to the point where he is actually painful to listen to. I often feel embarrassed for him. I'm convinced that the only reason his ratings are better is because Conan comes on after him and people just don't want to turn the channel or something. Really, it's unexplainable.

Well, that's why I "watch" it, but I seriously doubt that's the case why it's ratings are so high. Leno's been ahead of Letterman long before Conan became respectable, and besides, Leno's ratings are higher then Conan's so it wouldn't make sense for the latter to be the anchor for the former.

[/QUOTE][B]"I can't believe people actually like Leno. Especially when they could be watching Letterman. Seriously. Leno's monologues are so boring. I don't care for Letterman's either, but at least he has the sense to keep it short, unlike Leno who will ramble for 15 minutes with his lame jokes. It is a mystery to me why Leno consistently beats Dave in ratings. Not only is Leno unfunny, he's actually anti-funny."


Conan kicked up a little dust last week in Canada and most of the other talk show hosts raise a little heck from time to time. If you look at the number of pages each of the guys have inspired here in the Forum you'll see Stewart's out ahead with 178 pages, Conan's in the middle with 78 pages and Jay's dragging, and I mean DRAGGING up the rear with a pathetic 12 pages.

Jay Leno gives new meaning to the expression "lowest common denominator."

Who had the ass-kissing right of way when he was on Inside the Actors' Studio with James Lipton. I was affraid the the two flatterers occupying the same space would created a sycophantcy supernova that would engulf the solar system in hollow praise for Against the Ropes.

And did Leno just copy Letterman in moving his main gag? When did Dave shift the CBS Mailbag from Fridays to Thursdays? And when did he move it again, from Thursdays to Wednesdays? So did Leno recently shift his Headlines from Mondays to Tuesdays, in response? Jay, don't give your critics ammunition!

Of course, the big picture question is: Why move these gags at all?

Senor Audacity,

Sometimes Leno moves Headlines back a day or so if he has something big for the Monday show. The move shouldn't be permanent.

Did anyone watch the MadTV sketch making fun of Leno's show? It was hilarious! Basically the Leno impersonator was doing the monologue and it was all lame jokes and the Kevin Eubanks impersonator kept laughing at the lamest stuff. They cut away from the skit and I thought it was over. But after a few more MadTV skits, they cut back to Leno's monologue (basically making fun of how long his monologue is). Then we hear the director's voice saying "Jay, we only have three minutes left for your guests!". Then we see Kelly Ripa, animal guy, and Celine Dion as guests for 2 minutes.

It was great!

Well, cast my votes with those who don't understand how/way Leno has even been able to keep the gig, all these years. I can't even watch him. His monologues are the UNfunny, and he's absolutely a terrible interviewer. Dave has his highs/lows as a host, and I can understand where the show's humor wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea, but Leno is just straight across the board BAD. I, too, am COMPLETELY mystified as to how he beats Letterman in the ratings.

Maybe its because so few care about Jay, no one has mentioned that he has hired "Stuttering" John Melendez to serve as his announcer. It was in the paper here last week and Howard Stern was freaking out about it today on his show. Naturally, he feels that Jay is "stealing" his act and was very pissed that Jay did this behind his back without consulting Howard. Howard said that he is happy for John but angry about Leno's part in it.

Howard read a letter from Jimmy Kimmel saying what an a-hole Jay is. He spoke to David Letterman also but wouldn't reveal the conversation but it wasn't complimentary.

Who would pay John $500k (their estimate, not confirmed) to do this? I thought Jay was #1. Why would he do this?

Basically, Jay's ratings with men 18-30 sucks. This demographic is highly desired by advertisers (whether it should be or not is a different topic). Stern rules this particular demographic and I'm sure the hope is to use S. John to boost viewership. They are also going to have John do a lot of "man of the street" type interviews, which he always did well for Howard. I'm a Stern fan, but I was never really that amused by John, so I can't say I'm going to tune in just to see him.

I need some reassurance...

Yesterday, I left Jay Leno on too long after the news and he was mentioned his guests before the Headlines segment. He says something along the lines of, "First up is Mel Gibson...yeah, I haven't heard any controversy about him in awhile. And then we have the man who killed Jesus...I'm talking about James Lipton, of course..."

Followed by absolutely NO laughing, from Kevin or the audience. Jay was like, "Uhhh...alright! Time for Headlines!"

Please tell me someone else heard this...or tell me I heard wrong. If it's true, that has to be the stupidest shit he ever said. Where the hell did that come from? Jay's corniness has hit a whole new level.

Hee! You heard it wrong. He was introducing the man that plays Jesus, James Caviezel.

Oh shit! Yeah, I was probably deep in my studying and I looked up and wondered why nobody laughed. Yes, I know, nobody laughing at Jay's jokes is a nightly occurance, but I could have sworn he said James Lipton, lol.

Almost feel like deleting my previous post, but I'll leave it up for the stupidity of it ;)

Okay, those Jay Leno look-alikes were pretty funny. The chins just kept getting pointier and pointier. Heh. I especially enjoyed seeing Jay's reactions.

I like Jay a lot, but I'm not sure about the addition of Stuttering John. I'm only vaguely familiar with the guy, but I loathe everything to do with Howard Stern, so I'm a little apprehensive about exactly what he's going to be doing. Edd Hall hardly does anything now, though, so maybe it won't be too bad.

Does the governator actually pay someone to come up with those lame ass jokes he told last night 'cause they weren't even close to being funny.

Truer words have never been spoken. Considering that his monologues are so generic and he gets lots of other people to do a lot of remotes for the show (ross, kevin smith, etc.), I can't understand where all the hard work is going. I can pretty much guess at least 75% of the punchlines everynight so they can't be that fresh and original.

he must have paid Jay.

The funniest thing I've heard on the Jay Leno in a LONG time was the little boy who asked him in Chinese why he has such a big chin!

Maybe he should write some jokes for Leno!

well today they played Everybody's Fool by Evanescence... which is interesting... its the new single (and I think only for alternative) but its not out yet (that I know of). So, I guess they followed your advice, heh.

John Melendez freshly poached from Stern, singles that aren't out yet, and last night I saw an eighty-seven year old broad wearing a cylinder lamp shade--as pal Dennis Miller would say, "the Jay Man is really putting some whoop ass into that show. Swing it, Baby!"

I turn on the TV today at 11:35 to watch Conan and Leno is on instead, interviewing Angelina Jolie. For a minute I was puzzled why the show seemed to be pushed back. But after a few seconds, I didn't really care anymore.

WOW!!

Angelina Jolie was looking so amazingly gorgeous tonight. When she smacks her lips and gives that sensual stare, I'm in heaven.

*sigh*