So, I went to enter a new haiku in the neglected haiku thread and it no longer exists. So depressing.

Anyhow, here's the new thread. I took the liberty of expanding the range of this thread (To basically anything that isn't a fan fic)

No, for the moment you have all be waiting for. The new haiku;

The Funbags, they bounce
Fake as the Horrible Hag
Vanquish her and them

Truly stellar, I know.

Maybe, I should stick the the songs.

Bumpity, bump.

This evil creature
tortures the Charmed audience
and she just won't die. (Phoebe/Eilish)

I checked the entire board three times and this thread wasn't here.

I swear.

Cooter tat peeks out
Inappropriate cleavage
Oh, my eyes. My eyes!!

(An ode to Alyssa's wardrobe.)

Irrational bitch
Complains about indexing
The Book of Shadows

Fair deal
Scales don't play that; Selfish, selfish mermaids
Death by shell!

On the bottom of the topic list, it says "Showing 15 of 78 topics sorted by...". To see topics that haven't been posted in for a long time, you have to change the field after where it says "from" to "the beginning". You might have done this, but you know, I thought I'd mention it.

Topic? Couldn't think of a new one, but here's one I posted forever ago, when we were playing "guess who?":

sdrawkcab gnidaer yB
...thgif ot strats nomed denroh sihT
thgin slauqe yad nehW

Abraxas

I did change the field. I obviously just missed it. Three times. It was a Phoebe moment, I tells ya!

Oh God I thought the nipples where trying to write Haikus.

*snigger*

Ok. I really suck at poetry, for the record...

This show is so bad.
Why do I really watch it?
I must be crazy.

(A Charmed fan's weekly self doubt.)

Drew is too pretty
He and Holly should leave now
Escape the madness.

Ack. That sucked so bad. Ah, well.

Guess who?

Pretty, My Precious
Me wants the dreamy man
We wept to be so alone...

Pretty green eye
Peers into bottle
Please look at me

Hippies, harpies, hoes,
Four to Six seasons suck so
What was once, now blows...

Phoebe Halliwell
You haggard, conceited bitch
Shave your arm hair now

Long hair braided with ribbons
Horror to my eyes
Realization the hair is on the arm of the shrew

Which bitch do I hate most?
She, who should finally roast and toast.
Where? In hell of course!!!

Piper Halliwell
Whiny, delusional shrew
Deal with your life, bitch.

Oh, poor Paige Matthews
Abused by thoughtless sisters
Kill them both right now.

Pretty, pretty Chris.
Pretty, pretty, pretty Chris.
Pretty. Pretty. Sigh.

Edited to add:
Type "pretty" often enough?
Stops being a word.

Prudence Halliwell
Smart telekinetic witch
Except with dry wall.

Wyatt Halliwell
A dead-eyed sociopath
Who grew a fucking mullet.

This is kind of dark...

Scary, dead-eyed boy
His hands of death he deployed
The Charmed Ones. Destroyed.

Mmm. Dead bitches.

Vengeful, wooden clock,
Springs to life to maim and kill
Those thoughtless bitches.

ETA: That would kick so much ass if the Much Abused Grandfather Clock turns out to be the final Big Bad.

Final episode.
Shannen guest stars. Prue returns.
And takes her revenge.

Although yeah, the grandfather clock deciding it's had enough and turning on them would be cool.

Stupid fucking prick,
His name is (evil) Brad Kern,
Wow, fuck off, Kern. Please?

A horror guys face,
Insidious and nasty,
A date with Phoebe.

Shut up, it's been a bad week, and she annoys me. ;)

It's 2018
Do You Know Where Your Chris Is?
Back to the future...

All of the sudden,
When we least expected it,
We say, Farewell Chris.

Phoebe is not annoying
What is going on?
Must really be bizzare world.

We hardly knew ye
Prettiest whitelighter/witch
Rest in peace (with Prue)

Wow, boredom. Here's my Haiku(sssssss) lol
Evil little brat,
Has a shiny blue bubble,
He makes me jealous!

Little mullet kid,
Someone please cut his hair now!
It is scaring me.

Pretty, pretty Drew.
Startling green eyes haunt me.
Will you marry me?

The time traveller.
Came from a distant future,
To save the psycho.

Season six is dead.
Brad Kern should join it in hell.
Chris is so pretty!

Valkryies, evil blondes,
Conception, time travellers.
This was season six.

Piper and Leo.
Meant to be? Maybe so. But...
Chris needs his parents.

Phoebe. Girl, you suck.
No, seriously. You suck.
Get a freakin room!

Paige is slampiece-less.
A new guy every week.
Except for today!

Powerless Phoebe.
Hah! Bitch! Got what she deserved.
Now, just go away.

Back off, barbie doll!
Drew belongs to Demian!
(And, secretly, me)

Orb, freeze, heal, glamour.
Telekinesis, astral.
Psychokinesis.

Elders. They're useless.
The Ever-Useless Elders.
I hate the Elders!

Cole and the PhoeMe.
SoUlMaTeS? Yes! He will come back!
*Yawn* Someone kill her.

Happy birthday Drew!
You are twenty four, and hot!
Please, Drew, stay that way!

Bring Chris back to Charmed!
His death was pointless, and cruel!
Wah! BRING HIM BACK NOW!

Only the good die
Prue and Chris and Andy gone
Please kill Phoebe soon

Season Six is done
Seven can only bring dread
Someone fire Kern?

Haiku Guess Who?

Demon Who Won't Die
The dentist sees him. And cries.
The Smile. From Hell.

Phoebe? ;)

Barbas brings fear; scary.
Barbas brings hope; terrifies!
Please, no more Barbas.

You kill off the Pretty
You kill off the Prue
Kill Phoebe and Kern.

A wave of a hand,
Sends a flying, rusty pipe
Towards pale, evil guy.

Piper’s shiny hair
Unfurled silk in slow motion
Deflects wicked plans

Nasty-looking beard
Lather him up. Shave him down.
Return, My Pretty.

Leo you were gone
Get your butt back next season
and be a daddy

Thread buried deeply
Like irritating Jenny.
Live! No, not you, girl.

Season seven's done
Mark McGrath is going to come
But what type of "come"?

Mark McGrath arrives
Ladybug needs a daddy
Alyssa gets some.

Charmed renewed again
Many supress urge to kill
But others do not...

Phoebe Halliwell,
Skanky hag, our sister too?
We vanquish you now.

Oh, snarky Piper!
You make the show bearable
But sadly Feebs stars

Oh, Happy Day. Yay!
The Sun shining in the sky
Leo dead on impact.

Elusive Bunyip,
We wish to see you sometime,
Vanquish Phoebe, please.