Thanks! We're going to a place called Kitchen22 in Gramercy Park. Never been there but it sounds cool.

You know, I have to say one plus for him. He's very prompt about returning calls and good at communicating. It's kind of sad that that almost seems like a novelty when it should be the norm! But I've had a couple friends pull disappearing acts recently when it comes to getting back to me, and that kind of thing always makes me nervous in the back of my mind because you never know if they've decided to stop talking to you for some inexplicable reason--I mean, I think we've all had people where from out of the blue they just never speak to us again with no warning or rhyme or reason (like there was no argument or tension or anything). But you can't ask them why they stopped talking to you, because they'd have to talk to you to answer, and they're not talking to you! One of life's little catch-22s.

Glad to hear you're having a memorable trip, yogi, and sorry about the hand, kate!

I put this in the User-To-User thread, but I figure it can't hurt to ask here as well. My damned Time Warner DVR picked last night to malfunction for the first time since I got it. It cut off when The Bachelorette reunion started recording, even though it can record 2 things at once and has never done this before. Grrrrrrrr. So I put Survivor at the top of the priority list for the future, but I'd love a copy of last night's episode to keep, or at the very least to borrow. If anyone here in NYC has a copy, that might be easiest; I could just meet you somewhere and give you a blank tape in exchange (if I can keep it). If it's someone from outside of here, I'll recompensate your expenses. You can email me through my profile and thanks in advance!

Sorry Dodo, I'm on a tape NBC watch CBS schedule, otherwise I'd gladly help you out. Don't trust the fancy technology that relies on outside sources! VCRs rule!

Dodo, I've had more problems with my Devo in the last week! Try unplugging it (the tech I finally got hold of claimed it could be from the box or outlet- just cut off power) and let it sit for 20 seconds (60? 20? don't remember) - when you power up, it should reboot & be better.

Thank you all for the well-wishing on my hand! The splint really seems to be helping A LOT (but I cheat and take it off for just the foam stuff when I crochet at home - hee!), I just won't be doing knuckle pushups for a few weeks (finally! a good excuse!)

Princess Peachy, it's my right hand. If my index finger had been hurt I think I would have been sunk (since I'm right handed), but I've been doing ok. Just worse handwriting. And I can get my assistant to dial the phone for me (I need to watch myself for the fall from this ego-trip!).

skagirl, typing actually has been so much easier than I thought, seeing as how two fingers are conjoined and non-bending... my only real problem is that I keep hitting the comma instead of the period and i instead of o.

But who can think of knuckles when I'm going ballroom dancing tonight! Some friends taking lessons for their wedding asked me and Kate'sBoy to go. I thought he'd be a no for sure, but he just sighed and said "I can't believe you talked me into going dancing again." I think he secretly likes it, as my 'talking him into it' was really just mentioning it when he asked what S. and I talked about at our weekly coffee gab-fest (I think he's always thinking it's him - why do all guys think we women only talk about them?).

But Graceland and Rembrandt all in one trip? yogi, if you had hit Disney World, too, you would have just had my dream business trip :-) It sounds like you've had an unforgettable trip, already.

suctionprints, I had your same dilimna... I made Kate'sBoy stay up until the wee hours of the morning so that we could watch Survivor before I was spoiled at work today! I hate not knowing what's going on before I get to work!

The Last Dodo, I'm not even near the city, andy my copy is taped off of broadcast (I got mad at my cable company for charging so much and canceled my cable a few months ago), but if you are having problems finding a copy of last night's episode, let me know. I can't have one of the MM gang not filled in on the antics of Hatch the Naked (and Colby of the perpetually white teeth).

Hi, hope you heal quickly Karatekate, Last Dodo I totally have a friend like that, I mean ex-friend. A wonderful friend for years and then..dunno what happen. I still think about it, which is annoying.
Anyway, have fun on your date.
Can I just say how happy I am that it is SO LIGHT outside still. I remember when I first started posting here (way back 8 weeks ago!) when it was so dark. Poor Aussiegirl is hoping to cool down and I can't wait for the (very)warm weather.

Thanks...I may very well take you up on that! I'm waiting to hear back from a couple friends as well. If so, I'll let you know and we can work out the details. Thanks!

OMG, I've been reading all about this Naked Hatch thing, almost to the point where I'm put off watching (but not quite)! Still 3 more days to go before we get it here. I was sad to see Rob C go last week, he was a humourous guy and often came up with some gems. Oh well, maybe they'll do another twist and bring him back sometime. And maybe they'll do another Peachy helicopter shot.

Yogi who touched more people (aside from Hatch, of course)? My vote would be Elvis. Even 25 years after he died, his music rocks! Long live the King!

Wonder how The Last Dodo is doing on her date? Waiting for all the gos...

Ricci glad to hear the days are getting a bit longer and warmer for you. I've spent enough winters in Chicago and Montana to remember that feeling. Here, I slept without a fan last night, in fact without two of them going full blast. Temps have returned to normal, just hot, which is nice. The joke doing the rounds about last weekend's insane weather is that God went out and left the heater going full on. And that he/she's really an air conditioning salesperson. Sounds about right!

Smiles to you all from Princess Peachy aka AussieGirl. xxx

Hey, how about those Oscars? Discuss.

Drats! I forgot that they were on yesterday. Anything good happen or are they boring as ever?

I loved watching Annie Lenox win an Oscar. She has long been a favorite of mine, and I really enjoy the song from LOTR. It was touching.

I'm such a sap. I always cry during the Oscars. I could never watch them in public.

I thought the clothes were really lovely. It's so nice to have a break from the usual sea of black. Holly Hunter's lavender gown was such a fabulous color. Also thought all the glamor gowns, like Julia Robert's and Angelina Jolie wore, were so stunning. Hated Julia's haircolor. She isn't meant to be a blonde.

What was with all the pearl/silver/champagne/oyster colored gowns? It really got to be montonous. My vote for favorite gown went to Patricial Clarkson and her beaded bronze number. I also thought Scarlett Johanson (spelling?) looked fab in her turquoise number. Worst? Well, Melissa Rivers would be right up there. (You can see where my priorities lie when it comes to the Oscars.)
Last Dodo, how was the date?
And may I just say that I just discovered my first crocuses and snow drops poping up through the ground. SO happy to see those guys.

Yogi, complete agreement on Julia- that blonde looked bad. I thought most of the gowns were lovely and appropriate, but lots of questionable hair colors & vats of bronzer. Sandra Bullock was a weird orange and her highlights were chunky! Someone else had really bad blonde who is normally redder - I can't recall. Annie looked great except for excess tanning.

Best? Patricia Clarkson was gorgeous. Catherine ZitaZow Jones looked beautiful in red - she's so luscious. I liked Scarlett's dress but it didn't fit quite right. Definitely the worst ensembles were Uma (darling!) and Annie Hall. Why does Diane cover up everything in those getups? I am fine with modesty and not wearing a skirt, but she looked downright goofy.

Overall, though, the awards were so blah. If it wasn't for the Jack Black/Will Ferrell interpretive song I would have passed right out.

And it helps if I try to type in proper English.

Oscars: watched them with a small group of friends (and fellow TWoPers). Polished off a bottle of Coppola Chardonnay over the course of the evening (figured it was the appropriate themed choice). Indulged a bit too much in delicious appetizers. Overall, though, a fun time.


Thanks for thinking of me! Unless you're using "her" in the gay male slang sense of referring to other gay men, though, I'm a "he". :-)

Unfortunately, it was a bust. Actually, it started off great. He was a bit dorkier than I remembered, but in an endearing way. And I actually felt really relaxed and comfortable around him, and dinner was great and the conversation was lively and fun and enjoyable. Then we went for drinks afterward and all was still well, and we were sitting in this alcove where it was just us, and I went to kiss him and that's when he told me that he'd met someone else the night before that he really liked and just wanted to be friends. I don't know--I just felt really disposable with the way that he put it like that, and it was so eerily similar to another experience I had recently with someone else I really liked where our signals got crossed like that, so I got upset, and he got annoyed that I was upset, and took off, and that was that.

You know, it's just so frustrating because I swear when it comes to men and relationships, it's always one of three things:

1. They meet someone else, like them better, and just want to be friends.

2. They want me to be some sort of doll or toy that they can mold or play dress-up with, and won't accept me as an independent, intelligent equal.

3. They think I am, and need me to be, perfect, keep gushing about how wonderful I am, but then when they find out I'm human and have bad days and get cranky just like everyone else, they freak and run because it's like I've toppled off a pedestal.

It's been 7 years since I've actually had a real relationship where we both liked each other equally and it lasted for more than a date or two. So with all this in mind, I had coffee in the park with a friend yesterday because the weather's been so beautiful here, and I was telling him that at this point, thinking that men aren't going to be attracted to me is almost as automatic and ingrained to me as breathing. And he said, which I think is correct, that as hard is it is, somehow I need to look at it as that it's just that I'm meeting a lot of the wrong guys rather than there's something wrong with me. But it is hard to think that way after awhile when you haven't a lot of recent positive experiences to help support it.

I'm just trying to let this fuel me creatively, though (I'm an actor/writer/singer), because I've definitely had a lot of experiences with men and the gay community over the years, and I don't really see any gay movies or plays that really accurately reflect my experiences, so if that's so, then it's up to me to create them. Now whether this winds up taking the form of a one man show, or an actual play with other characters, or both, I'm not sure, but there's definitely some good material in all this, once I figure out exactly what it is.

Ah well. At least Faith is going through something similar on Ryan's Hope. Oh, that Delia. This time, she's gone too far.

Dodo sorry about your date man, but I kind of wish I could feel your pain but I live in a very small town where the gay community is mainly underground and if you are new, the only way to be accepted is to become the neighborhood bicyicle and I refuse to do that so it seems I get to be stuck in single mood heh:)

Dodo and Woodlock, I can't help with your dating troubles, except to say that Minneapolis has a pretty active gay community, from what I've seen. It's very nice here, too.

The Oscars, though, I can talk about. WOO-HOO on LOTR kicking butt. I was delighted every time I heard a Kiwi accent making an acceptance speech. And the American producer guy went to Carleton College, which is in Northfield, Minnesota (about an hour south of the Twin Cities).

I kind of miss the days when there were a lot more "what were they thinking?" moments with the clothes. There seemed to be an abundance of ass-bows, though. Ladies, that's not a look that flatters anyone - not bridesmaids, not Oscar-nominated actresses, not anyone. And Julia, honey, if you're going to be a blonde, please have your roots done before your image is broadcast out to a billion people.

The roots were tragic - really tragic.

I'm a bit frustrated. I'm trying to plan a holiday with Mr. Yogi, but he hates to travel and see new things. He likes NYC. Period. Ugh. So for this reason and because Little Yogi's health situation meant that one of us needed to be with him at all times, I have resorted to doing most of my travel solo since we've been married, Much as I love the city, it takes a lot out of me. I need to leave NYC and touch the earth and feel the sun. (The moment I arrive in California, my whole body releases in a huge cosmic sigh.) Even though I always traveled solo when I was single, I would prefer to travel with Mr. Yogi now that I am married for many reasons. Now Little Yogi goes to visit my Mom in August, but Mr. Yogi still likes to stay in NYC. I must admit, it's a fun city. We do all the things we never do when Little Yogi is home as we don't have a babysitter. We go to the theatre and out to dinner. But I sure would love to go to Alaska or Montana. I just ordered a bunch of books about driving through the United States. I want to take a road trip. Sigh..... Have I become an armchair traveler? How did this happen? I was always such a gypsy. Deep sigh....

I married Mr. Yogi because he is a rock. I guess I just wish he was a rock that rolled a bit more easily...

Do you think something local but out of the city would work? Like the Catskills or Berkshires? There's still gourmet this & lots of NYers but also nature & stuff. He can plop down with a good book & a glass of wine, you can get lost in the woods, and then in the evening make sweet whoopie. Well, ok, the last part is up to you. Even though I'm a city wench, I understand that 48 hours out of the city won't kill me.

Dodo, definitely start writing about your frustration! I don't think it's just a gay thing. Dating in this city is for the birds.

Heh, Yogi, I hear you. I have trouble getting Mr. Hildy to come out and play, and whenever I eventually succeed, he has a blast.
It doesn't seem quite fair that vacations should be entirely on Mr. Yogi's terms, however. Seems to me that it wouldn't kill him to roam with you for a week once a year or so. Anyway you can sit down and figure out some sort of equitable arrangement? He might just discover he had fun after all!
Okay, I want to be the single unattached guy going to Spain for a month, (TraceyBee, was that your friend? I forget.) or an acquaintance who's heading to Italy, or other friends who are going backcountry skiing in Montana. Instead, I must console myself with daffodils. Ah well.

But daffodils are wonderful! All the daffodils in New York are in vases. It's not the same.

That's a good idea, skagirl. We have sort of come up with a comprimise like that. Mr. Yogi will spend three nights alone with me at a hotel in Lake Placid area in August - if I can figure out how one gets to Lake Placid. It's a seven hour drive, and the only flights I could arrive at 9 or 10 PM, and if you only have three nights, that's not saying much. Also, I think I have convinced him to go on a family vacation with Little Yogi again to Stowe. He likes places where you can walk anywhere because it's like being in NYC. He can live with nature if he never has to actually touch it. He likes to be on asphalt at all times. Unfortunately, so does Little Yogi now. It grieves my heart to imagine a life where my own child doesn't know the joy of creek walking, catching crawdads and fireflys, lying on his back and watching the clouds in the day and the stars in the night. We are so different.

But I guess if that's the worst problem we have, I can live with it. Especially if the alternative is dating - Yikes, Last Dodo, at least this guy took you to a couple of nice places. That's about all you can say good about him. What a pooo.

Yogi, how about Nantucket? It's apparently eminently walkable. And they have a Daffodil Weekend!

Dodo(can I call you that? there is something about your name that makes me smile) I was really looking foward to the date report - my weekend was quite boring...my perception of dating is that it's just really hard as an adult. You either can't or don't want to meet people at work and you are stuck with the bar/friend's friend/want ads alternative. I think the dateparty thing you went to was promising....Until good old fiance, I was really out of luck. Keep joining clubs/activities (twop getogethers? writing groups?) is my advice. I met mine at Rotary if you can believe that. I turned him down for 6 mos before we went out cause I was just so sick of the crap. In the meantime keep writing.

Yogi you can always keep following the yoga and mazes that you like while Mr. stays home and buys you presents (cause he misses you).

Isn't Nantucket where that TV show Wings took place, Hildy? If so, the fact that it is an island would probably appeal to Mr. Yogi, because then it's even more like Manhattan. I can't help but wonder if it's a mob scene in the summer. That scares me a bit. Can you still find some quiet and privacy on Nantucket? I avoid the Hamptons and such places like the plague, because I am crushed amid the teeming throngs all year - I just can't do it on a vacation. However my husband and Little Yogi don't feel comfortable without teeming throngs. It's a conundrum...

Well, I've got three nights in Lake Placid ... better make it good ;) Rolling up sleeves and other things....

Or maybe I'll just go with Ricci's plan... I could use a new laptop...

A pink laptop?

I had posted earlier but the mean machine ate it up - what about someplace with kid friendly stuff (which guarantees walking & bodies) + adult fun? Like I saw Hershey PA on the Food Network with their spa & amusement park. I also think Boston could be fun - split the drive so you can stop by a winery or something or some cutesy town, then enjoy something swanky in Beantown. And whoopie. Or, Baltimore (seriously) - I know you lived in the south, can't remember where, but the city is much more tourist friendly, and it's a short drive. Then on the way to or from you can swing through Harper's Ferry for fresh air.

I got good news - the wedding I'm in (my first) this July isn't going to break the bank. The bride & her mother found & negoitiated the bridesmaids' dresses for 100 even. Sweet.

Here's more about Daffodil Weekend, Yogi,although admittedly it's in April and not in August.
Nantucket is crowded in August, it's true. But it's also very lovely. YOu could go in September when it's less nuts.
And if you really want a lovely, lovely island getaway, I recommendMonhegan Island, a stunningly beautiful place off the coast of Maine. Big artists' colony. No electricity, as least not when I was there 18 years ago.

A pink laptop would be perfection!

I may have to move to Nantucket, Hildy! Where can I get me one of those daffodil hats? You have to love an island where people are willing to dress up so goofy and look so happy doing it! I must admit, I also have a fondness for the people who wear cheese hats. I know they are the butt of many a joke, but still, what enthusiasm!!!

The chance of getting Mr. Yogi to a place that may or may not have electricity is exactly zero. He likes to say that his idea of roughing it is no valet parking. Now even though that is a joke and absurd and all, it has an element of truth. I am not joking when I say the man doesn't trust ground that isn't covered with cement.

We have gone round and round with the family vacation idea with something for the parents, and that's sort of our trip to Stowe. We also take Yogi Dog. Between Yogi Dog and Little Yogi, it's pretty nuts on the trip, but I love it. Even though it's against the law, I even take Yogi Dog off the leash sometimes. I thrills me to see her joy at running free for even a moment.

What I really want to do is take a road trip out west for the whole month of August. How 'bout it, y'all? Anyone want to ride?

Hurray for the Sensible Bride and her Mama who are considerate enough to keep the cost of your dress down, skagirl! What color will you be wearing? Do you like the style? Do you need all new undergarments? Do you have to wear a hat? I saw some lovely daffodils hats...

Excuse me, skagirl? YOU have to pay for the dress? Is that a custom? I always thought that the bride (or the wedding couple) paid for everything. I wouldn't dream of asking someone to be a bridesmaid and being all "oh, and it'll cost x dollars. What the hell?

Yeah, it often is. The one wedding I was in, my mom made my dress, so I didn't have to pay for it. (Unfortunately, my sister got divorced eight months later. No more weddings for me, I'm a jinx!)

I think the practice came about because you can't rent bridesmaid dresses the way you can a tux. My husband was in a Scottish wedding, and the bride (who was funding the whole thing herself, right on!) came up with a great option for his kilt. All the accoutrements were free if you were just going to your kilt and gear for the wedding, but she managed a nice discount if you wanted to keep everything. And of course, my husband did, and has worn it dozens of times since then. Rowrrrrr. It's the one look that can give an accountant the sex appeal of muddy Aragorn.

Also, my thrifty nephew says to tell that if you or your loved one is called to be a groomsman, and you plan on wearing a tux more than twice in your lifetime, you should buy rather than rent.

Yogi I would love to take a road trip with you, and I have never been to Cali. :)

Oh my lord, the money I have spent on hideous new bridesmaids dresses and the necessary undergarments that seem to be individually required for each dress! Yikes. Since I got married, I refused to ever be a bridesmaid again. I just told whoever asked that I am too old. As I was in my twenties when I got married, that excuse didn't always fly - nonetheless I stuck to it. That was it for me - never again a bridesmaid, never again a bride, that's my motto!

I can just see the two of us on a roadtrip, Woodlock. In fact, I'm totally smiling right now at the thought!!! There is no doubt in my mind we would get into trouble, but we would sure have fun doing it! It would probably degenerate into a Thelma and Louise type adventure....

Heh!

Hee! But one thing is for sure we would be the greastest accidental crimanols around :).

Draadje, I've learned very quickly that the American wedding process, especially in the Northeast/Eastern Seaboard, is a total scam. And unfortunately, it is custom for the bridesmaids to pay since the bride is paying for everything else (and her cheap inlaws are buying the flowers & insisting on a big wedding).

I believe it's aubergine, but it might be midnight blue (bleh)- it's changed like 6 times. I like the style - we just had to choose a brand that everyone could find a style they liked and possibly try on. Two of us are in NYC, one in England, one in Houston, TX, and the bride & wedding in DC. Mine, surprisingly, is a halter style without being tacky (it looked better than straps that cut my giant shoulders into fat left/fat right). The two big girls are wearing halters, the two smaller are wearing strapless.

At least they're not making different body types wear the same dress. I've been too way too many weddings like that.

Dodo, sorry to hear of your relationship woes. I don't know if it will make you feel any better to hear a bit about me, but I've had a boyfriend for nearly a year now after an 8 year dryspell. There were a few guys I dated in that time, but definitely no boyfriend material. I think you're doing the right things. The more you're out there, the more likely it is that you'll meet someone. And having met you in person, I can honestly say I'm stunned that no one has snapped you up yet - you seem like quite the catch to me.

Not to mention shoes dyed to match, and terrifying hair-decoration thingies. Don't get me started, I hate the American bridal industry.

Awwww...thank you so much! You know, honestly, I really needed to hear something like that. Thanks to all of you for the support, definitely. Speaking of:




Wow, that must be a very different experience. Like, if there's only, say, 5 gay men in your area...I mean, what if you don't get along? What happens when you've already dated everyone there is to date? (Actually, that kind of reminds me of my college theater department...by the time we graduated, any dating or hooking up that was to happen had happened!)

On the other hand, you're absolutely right, skagirl--this is definitely NOT just a gay thing. I mean, hell, otherwise Sex in the City and countless other works wouldn't exist! I think we kind of have the opposite extreme here in NYC--with so many people to choose from, people can afford to be extremely picky. Like, suppose someone likes everything about you, but you have brown eyes and they like blue eyes. They can pass because a blue-eyed version of you is just around the corner. I'm exaggerating, to be sure, but honestly, I don't think by all that much, you know?

And honestly, I tend to identify more with both actual women and female characters who are like--I'm not sure if I'm going to be describing this right, but hopefully you'll know what I mean somewhat--like, they're intelligent and independent and unique, and they're happy with themselves like that and that's how they want to be, but then when it comes to men, they're frustrated because it seems like most men go for the kind of women who have The Rules memorized and take and follow the little Cosmo quizzes on how to get a man religiously...does that make any sense? That's the best way I can think of to explain it. But anyway, I think those kind of individual vs. type and what men want and conformity issues and expectations issues are just as applicable in the gay community, but I've never really seen that kind of theme explored all that much in gay works. So when I was talking about writing, those are the themes I'd like to explore, because I think there's a void it could fill.

But honestly, getting back to what we were talking about a couple days ago--where's Celeste when you really need her? "NO!!! Don't go on that date!!! Oh, I've been having TERRIBLE VISIONS!!! EVIL!!! TOOLINESS!!! RUN!!!"


Oh, yeah. I'm an NYC TWoPCon regular (great bunch we have!), and I'm always on the lookout for anythihg else that sounds interesting.

Speaking of NYC...what about this weather? GORGEOUS! I was fortunate that my boss had an errand for me to run, so I got to get out and enjoy it. Actually, it wasn't too far from Bumble & Bumble, so I ran in and got that Deeep Treatment conditioner you recommended, skagirl...looking forward to trying it!

I have spent a small fortune on bridesmaid paraphenalia as well. The sucky thing is is that you are generally shelling out all this lettuce on hideous taffeta dresses whilst in your mid-twenties, which is hardly the pinnacle of one's earning power, shall we say. I remember one dress cost about $250, plus there was a HOOPSKIRT like undergarment that ran me another $150. The worm turned at the idea of purchasing dyed to match shoes and I just wore very nice black pumps. I mean, come on. THe dress was dark, irisdescent maroon, and it had a HOOPSKIRT. Nobody was going to see my shoes anyway! And, of course, this marriage lasted about 2 years.
Now, if somebody had asked me to put on a daffodil hat, that would have been another story.
All that said, I loved being in weddings, and found them to be a time of great joy and open bars. Skagirl, are you in charge of showers or bachelor debauchery or any of that fun stuff?
Yogi, I think you're going to have to kidnap Mr. Yogi to Monhegan Island. After all, there's no electricity, so it'll be dark. he might not even realize where he is!
As for dating: Yuck. Feh. I was the world's worst dater. Hated. It. I didn't get married till I was 34, nearly giving my mother heart palpitations. I finally met Mr. Hildy when I was working parttime at an outdoor equipment store; he was good friends with another of my coworkers. So have faith, and keep going to TWoPCons, Dodo! Has being set up by friends ever worked?

Tracey, that's the last big decision...the shoes. At least one girl is advocating dyed to match, two of us want black so we can rewear. But most importantly, I just want to be comfy for 14 hours.

The hair should be ok, except I've only gone to one guy for a while, and my hair has an attitude problem. While we already are on the books at a salon, I'm really concerned (I think it's a pretty conservative typical DC place). I hope to go down & do a run through of my hair but it's really fucking expensive. I'm very concerned.

Good luck deeeeeeeppp conditioning, Dodo!

Hildy you know my drunkself is in charge of bachelorette debauchery. Hopefully we're going to do an NYC 'stravaganza, I'm thinking the Donkey Show.. I really, really, really don't want to be responsible for hiring a gross man in a banana hammock.

We are exact opposites, Hildy - I loved dating and hate weddings. It always seems like the bride is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. It's just too much drama. I always wanted a wedding in a garden with pinwheels (they are so very happy and whimsical!) instead of flowers - and badmitton and croquet for everyone to play. I think people should wear what they think looks nice on them and what they are comfortable in - not some silly satin number with a hoop skirt. Lord, I never had a hoop skirt, but I did wear a lot of quiana (sp?). Is anyone here old enough to remember quiana? Think studio 54....

I must be one of those very un-unique types that Last Dodo mentioned because I used to love to date. The early stages of a relationship are so very exciting. There you both are brimming and overflowing with electricity and excitement. Even if you never even kiss, it's still so fabulous to spend breakfast, lunch or dinner with someone hearing their story and learning about their experiences. I enjoyed it. I always say one of the really bad things about getting married is that there is no more dating. Mr. Yogi is a very flexible guy, but I don't think he would really enjoy watching me go out on dates (plus I don't look so good anymore, so maybe I would never be asked out again,) so that and hitchhiking are only memories for me...

Oh, skagirl, I highly recommend holding out for the black shoes. I'd forgotten about the died to match ones, ugh. I also had to buy pearls once. I already owned pearls, but everyone had to have them in the same exact length. Speaking of length, I was in a wedding with all female basketball players and my short self. The Mother of the Bride insisted that we all had the hems on our tea length dresses the same length from the floor. So my tea length dress was just below my knees and theirs were all the proper length. Ugh. Ugh.

But you are the perfect person to plan the bachelorette bachanalia, skagirl! You should make it a whole weekend, though then you would need a week to recover.

And Hildy, Mr. Yogi would definitely notice if I took him anywhere without electricity, though it does look beautiful. Oh my heck, I shudder to imagine his reaction....

It'll probably be a Friday/Saturday thing but with everyone all over the place, the bride finishing her MBA, then a wedding of a friend that she's in, then her taking the businessy people exams, then her July wedding, then moving to LA for work plus a training for 3 weeks in NYC...well, there's only so much time. It's crazy.

When we went shopping, we actually saw a very pretty, very slim, no booby woman, probably 5'7 or so, trying on dresses. We then realized that she was the bride and her bridesmaids were standing around her: one was 4'11 and round, one was 5'3 and built solid, not fat but solid, and one was just big - like 5'8 & all shoulder & boob. In what alternate universe would any of them look good in the same dress?

The jewelry is a funny thing too. We're allowed to pretty much do anything but there's always the chance she can go bridezilla on us. My friend's brother was supposed to be in a wedding - the groom wanted to wear silver, the groomsmen were asked to wear gold, and as the best man, they needed him to find something else - the heck? Plastic? Candy necklace? This were boys freaking out!!! Crazy!!!

I used to enjoy dating a lot - the butterflies, the getting ready. But I think NYC can be a tough place to date nowadays - for all the reasons listed above. I know it's not limited to NYC, but I found it easier to date in DC, although then we were all dating each other - it was like 3 degrees of "You were with HER!?!?" at brunch.

ok you should all be in/at my wedding in November. My best buddy is insisting on being "maid of honor" and keeps asking me to tell her what to wear!
Personally, I don't care! Since eloping was out, I wanted small and simple. I don't even need a "maid" or anything like that. Like Yogi said, I am too old, she is too old and all my stepsisters and such are older!

Does anyone ever read "Dear Prudence" on Slate? I used to wonder about the situations that people would write in about when random or work peeps would project and impose on them with their opinions. Now I am one of those people. I am 32 I am a punk-ass with tats and piercings and radical and feminist beliefs... THAT THESE PEOPLE ALL KNOW. It's not a big surprise! Why do they keep saying "oh you are not wearing a long dress? oh you are not changing your name? " The disappointment! the shock! This is has been really surreal for me.
Am i whining? I was just really happy to see these posts today. Sometimes at work or on the phone with friends I think I'M the crazy one.

Ricci, you're the smart one. I know a woman who's getting married here and is doing the wear what you want, maybe or maybe not having maids at all, big festival of food party & a hip dj, and actually only having a party/ceremony so all the families can meet & they can demonstrate their committment - that's it. No hoopla, no registering. And on the flip side, she is in her to-be-sister-in-law's wedding, where the Maid of Honor has commandeered, all are wearing these bright red dresses, dyed to match shoes, and hair in swept-up-dos + makeup by a "fantastic" artist (meaning the make up girl at "Glamour Shots.").

Oh no! I didn't mean it like that at all and I'm very sorry if you thought I did. What I was referring to is the frustration of being an individual and not easily categorized when it seems like most people are looking for a "type". But really, that's not just about dating, that's about a lot of things--music, movies, you name it. But that really doesn't have anything to do with whether you enjoy dating or not, or mean that if you enjoy dating you can't be unique. You seem quite unique to me! Besides, I like everything that you're talking about as well; it's just some of the other crap that goes along with it that's frustrating!

On a slightly related note, if there's anything I've learned from my years as an administrative assistant, it's that people who use the phrase "thinking outside of the box" are utterly incapable of doing so.

You know, Last Dodo, I can totally understand that. When I read your post about your date with the man last Friday, I thought it sounded completely frustrating. He sounded like a bit arrogant, and arrogance is booring and unpleasant. Who wants a date like that?

There is an aphorism that you never marry anyone you meet at night. Like most old sayings, I've always believed it has a grain of truth. I think you get involved with someone you meet while you are doing something you really enjoy. I did meet Mr. Yogi at night, but it was at a party at my graduate school, so it was more of an activity involving the work I was doing at the time. But mostly I dated men I met while I was taking a class or doing research or a project. I think being busy and happy is very attractive, so it sounds like you are on the right track, staying busy, going to lots of gatherings with people of like interests, etc.



I deeply commiserate with you, Ricci. I truly wanted a gentle, casual outdoor wedding with pinwheels. I chose a beautiful pink dress to wear, and my MIL-to-be started a campaign to get me to change the dress, the wedding, the whole nine yards. I ended up in a white dress with a prime rib dinner at the club. Ugh. I couldn't get out of there soon enough. Everyone was unbelievably difficult. Truly, you cant even imagine. For example, I didn't even have time for a bath on my wedding day, because my friend from Norway couldn't figure out how to work the coffee pot (how can you not figure out how to work a Mr. Coffee?) and demanded I get out of the tub to make her some coffee - And I had a cafe in the building where I lived, just down the elevator! Lord in heaven! Stick to your guns, Ricci. It's your day, not theirs. Have the wedding of your dreams, even if it includes a pink dress and pinwheels (she says bitterly projecting in the worst way! Heh)

A motto for all the truly unique and beautiful gentle souls that visit this Survivor Meet Market, In the words of the Immortal and Beloved Mamma Cass:

You've gotta make your own kind of music
Sing your own special song
Make your own kind of music
Even if nobody else sings along.

Hi guys, haven't had time to come here for awhile, little Aussie has been sick again violently throwing up everywhere. The doctor thought it might be related to the knock on the head he got last week, but told me to monitor him and if it continued to get him up to the hospital. Thankfully, he got better (again), I just hope he stays better. Poor little guy was so sick all he wanted to do was snuggle up with me, but today he's running around tearing the house apart again. Yeah!

Dodo sorry to hear of the relationship blues. Your last date sounds very fickle, and cruel to have said what he did. You're much better off that you know that now. Keep at it mate, and just enjoy being with people. It's funny, till I was 30 I was on the lookout for "the one", but it wasn't till I gave up on that that I met Mr Aussie Montana. We had a sunrise wedding at the lighthouse on the easternmost point of Australia - Byron Bay. Stunning scenery, overlooking gorgeous beaches, beautiful sunrise, dolphins, whales, and later even a rainbow. How incredible was that? People tell us all these years later that it was the best wedding they've ever been to, probably because it was a very informal ceremony, followed by a wedding breakfast that was fun and filled with laughter! People were at first shocked that we asked them to be there at 5am, (in fact a couple tried to convince me that sunrise was at 10am!), but all agreed it was worth it to witness the dawning of a new day. In fact, the opening song for the ceremony was Cat Steven's "Morning has Broken", and it really set the tone for a lovely day.

Yogi, you live in a concrete jungle for all the year, I can understand your wanting to get back to nature for even a few days or weeks. Is there no way to coax Mr Yogi? For me, it's not a matter of where we will go, it's a matter of convincing Mr Aussie to take any time off at all, so usually it's just a few days here and a long weekend there. I long for a month in a special place, like the one Hildy described. Now that would be nice.

ETA watched Survivor last night, I think maybe they cut out some of the Hatch bad behaviour, and it was so pixilated that you couldn't really tell what was going on. But if he did that, he deserves to be sued. I am glad he has gone, I was starting to get really tired of his obnoxious attitude.

Wow, everyday I learn something new. I was a bridesmaid once, and my mom sure as hell didn't pay for the dress. I could choose the color and the only things that my mom paid were my shoes and my hair-thingy, which was something like $5.00.

When/if I get married, my biggest problem won't be my bridesmaids, etc. (I don't think I'll have any), but where to get married. I'm Protestant, my boyfriend's Catholic. I don't have a problem with marrying in Catholic church, but most of the Catholic churches in Aruba are ugly....Sigh. Hopefully I'll get some wisdom and patience when that day comes.

Poor Little Aussie, Aussie Girl! I'm so glad that he is fully recovered. As we say down south, Bless his little heart! Sweet thing. But not to worry, it seems all children fall on something at one time or another during the formative years. It's a requirement of life and gives us character in our adulthood. The best is if you get to have a scar. Heh.

And by the way, your wedding sounds like it was absolutely idyllic, Aussie Girl. Even though I didn't enjoy our reception, my ceremony was very beautiful and moving. We had guests from many religions there, and several commented that it was one of the most beautiful ceremonies they had ever seen. It was a traditional Catholic mass, but the priest was our very dear friend, so the whole ceremony from the music to the sermon, though formal and elegant, was very personal and moving. So Draadje there is hope for you and your Catholic boyfriend! Though we did end up getting married at a beautiful chapel at our university rather than in the Catholic church. The chapel was a little neo-gothic jewel with gorgeous stained glass windows in the English perpendicular style. So beautiful. One of my artist friends drew the great window as a wedding gift, and I put it on the outside of the program.

This morning we heard on the news that Cindy Crawford's husband has been cheating on her for their whole marriage. First Halle Berry and now Cindy Crawford!? Yikes! There are some difficult to satisfy men out there...

Get out of my head, Last Dodo! Hee!

As of 2:00 a.m. tomorrow, we're on strike. Since we are living in a wired, real-time age, I am blogging my time off.

StrikeBlog is up!

I need a drink. Bagels just aren't doing the trick.

I love to talk about my wedding, but I'll do it when I have more time later on.

Best wishes to you, suctionprints, for getting through the strike. Can you take a temp job somewhere? A couple of people I work with did that when my union went on strike last fall. Not that jobs are falling off the trees in the Twin Cities. I have to say, I've been impressed with the way your union leadership has been conducting itself. I keep seeing things about how they're coming up with ideas to get back to negotiations, and the Met Council keeps saying, "Nope." The Met Council sucks giant donkey balls, from what I've been reading and hearing.

MrBee will be ferrying me to and from work. We did a practice run this morning, so we could figure out the best route without the horrible mess of traffic we'll be dealing with tomorrow.

The good news is that we're going to see the Chieftains tonight! Woo-hoo! I love them, they have great concerts, and we have wonderful seats.

Hi everyone - yogi, suction, tracey, draadje, ska, etc, etc, etc. Work has FINALLY calmed down enough that I have time to surf more than one board. Whew. I hate it when work gets in the way of the important things in life. I will try to catch up to the conversation as I get the chance.

Carry on. [as if you need my permission - hee]

Hugs for Heidihug!!! So good to "see" you here!

Hurray for good seats to see the Chieftains, Tracey Bee! And for Mr. Bee, who will be shuttling you to and fro during this awful strike. I'm glad you all found a way. Ugh

Hurray for your new gig, suctionprints!!! I'm so sorry that you are going to be so effected by this strike, though. I was really hoping for a last minute reprieve for you and your co-workers. How inconvenient, to say the least. Does your union give you something during the strike? I used to temp when I was in graduate school. It's a hit or miss thing, really. Fingers crossed for the best possible outcome for you. As always when the world is stressful, and there is nothing I can do, I recommend a bath with some really fabulous smelling bath stuff. Mmmmm. A fragrant bath, perfectly paired cheese and wine, and chocolate - these are a few things that always make one feel better. And of course yoga, but it's not as immediate as a bath, wine and cheese or chocolate.

Hi Heidihug, and welcome! Where do you hail from?

Ricci I agree completely with Yogi - do it your way! It is your wedding, and not anyone else's. You should make it exactly how you want it. I was lucky, in that though both my parents are strict Catholics, and all my siblings were married in the church, but they were pretty cool about the fact that we wanted to be married on the beach at dawn by a friend of ours, with 110 friends and family in attendance, and not in a church by a priest. In fact, the only comment from my father at the rehearsal the day before, at the lighthouse where we were having the ceremony, was "Where's the chapel"? And then he said no more about it. He and my mother were going through a bitter divorce at the the time, after 38 years of marital hell, (they really should have divorced many years before) so they weren't too happy to be sitting next to each other I guess, but they realised it was my day and did their best.

Re expensive weddings - I had my dress made, all up for a cost of $400. Most of our friends did some special things for us as wedding presents, ie one of them married us and waived his fee, another who is a photographer took all the photos for free, another who is a florist made all the beautiful bouquets for free etc etc. So that was nice. And my mother made a beautiful Sri Lankan love cake (Yummy - if you ever go to a Sri Lankan restaurant, try this) which was quite symbolic. So the whole thing did not cost my parents too much, and it was all very informal and intimate. A very beautiful wedding, and we have some great photos of us in our wedding finery with the sun rising over the ocean behind us.

Yogi I love that song!