Jasmine Trias:

Onions
Mirror
Mirror
Mirror
Milk-Bone Dog Biscuits


Diana DeGarmo:

3-in-1 Oil
Kazaa Tips for Dummies
Futurama DVDs, Seasons 1 through 3

Hee. Can't believe I haven't seen this one.

Fantasia:

Jasmine Trias darboard
"Tickle Me George" doll.
HMO covers speech therapy

Hee! Love this thread!

Jasmine Trias

One dozen assorted puppies, kittens and infants, for the kicking thereof
400 assorted frangipanis
Chaise longue
Equipment for colonic irrigation
One copy of 'How to Win Friends And Influence People'

George Huff
1 dozen cans of Right Guard
Punching bag
Back issues of Big n'Bouncy

JPL
Curling wand
One Bunsen burner (in case Pauler stops by)
1 tuning fork

Diana Degarmo

Facial tape (gotta keep those cheeks chipmunk-y)
A bunch of different colored potato sacks and various colors of ribbon (for those last minute outfits)
Paula Abdul CDs
Her stage mom

Jasmine Trias

Acting Tips and Tricks book (on tape)
Voodoo dolls
6 dozen tubes of lip gloss
Her stage dad

Jasmalien

Latest edition of Culture Shock: Earth
Interplanetary Space Communicator (disguised as flowers)

Jennifer

11 voodoo dolls
Various hair and nail samples
1 hit contract on JSIV

Fantasia Burrino:

- Authentic autographed poster of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs
- Restraining order re: D. DeGarmo


Diana DeGarmo:

- Copy of Second Place Ain't So Bad by Clayton Aiken
- Therapist
- Psychologist
- Prescriptions


Paula Abdul:

- Mmhmm
- hey, ok
- haha
- cheboygan

Fantasia:

*Shchicken Noodle Shoup
*Shpam
*Shunkisht Fruit Jellies
*Shponge Cake
*Shnickers Bars
*Shoy Milk
*Shtring Cheese
*Shunflower Sheeds
*Shweet Potato Pie

Matt Rogers: Rope to tie himself to the roof of the bus.

Matt: Ham. So he's in good company.

Simon Cowell

Moob cream
Mirror (full length)
Copy of I'm OK, You're OK
Restraining order against Paula Abdul
Restraining order against Ryan Seacrest
Lock-top for water glass

Where has this thread been hiding?! Fucking hysterical, all of it!

Constantine Maroulis
--6 cases of Pray For The Soul Of Betty CDs
--3 jars of mayonnaise (for that just-greased look)
--No hygenic products or water to be within 95 yards of the room
--Many many mirrors
--One portable fan, positioned just so in front of the mirrors
--One drag queen outfit, stolen from the set of Hedwig and The Angry Inch, never to be returned. It's for the comfort, you understand.
--One autographed copy of "The Famewhore's Guide to Multiple Reality TV Bookings", edited by "Boston" Rob and Amber Brkich, Ryan Starr, Bob Guiney, and the Simpson Sisters
--Framed photo of Justin Guarini, inscribed, "To Connie, All my love, Your Idol, Justin *hearts*"

Mikalah Gordon
--Every Barbra Streisand CD every recorded
--Plastic Surgeon on call around the clock
--Hot Lips Quick Fix Collagen Plumping Lip Gloss ® In "Flaming Whore Red"
--"Youse Too Kin Luyn Ta Tawk Like Youse From Brooklyn, Yo!" language tapes
--Assorted hooker costumes

Anthony Federov
--A computer full of bootleg videos of Clay Aiken
--All Clay Aiken CDs ever recorded
--Back issues of weekly celebrity magazines that featured photographs of and interviews with Clay Aiken
--Striped shirts
--Flat iron and hair spray
--5'x8' poster of Clay Aiken to be taped directly over bed
--8"X10" framed photo of Clay Aiken to be positioned facing the bed
--Clay Aiken thong to be inserted under pillow with 3"x5" photo of Clay Aiken attached
--No scarves, turtlenecks, or high-collared shirts allowed within 1000 yards of room
--Uncle Piotr's Trach Hole Highlighting Creams ® in "White Russian" and "Whiter Shade Of Pale", complete with gentle sponge applicators and instructions in dialectic Russian

Mario Vasquez
--Solid oak hat rack and assortment of ugly pimp hats
--Soul Glo 'Fro Grease ®, three two-gallon jugs
--Dry-erase board for tracking television and radio bookings to discuss vague reasons for leaving the show
--Copy of "You Don't Tell 'Em NOTHING!" by John Gotti, contributions by various members of the Gambino Crime Family
--Stereo system with CDs by NSYNC, The Backstreet Boys, and 98 Degrees
--Safe for top secret contracts
--Three phone lines (attached is a list of people whose numbers will be blocked: Nigel Lythgoe, Ken Warwick, All members of the Vasquez family)

Carrie Underwood
--CDs by Faith Hill, Shania Twain, and Martina McBride (country pop only, no pure country, please)
--Assortment of farm animals to be penned in bathroom
--Double wardrobe with acid-free tissue paper for storing shiny bra tops
--Second key to be provided to Simon Cowell
--"Coal Miner's Daughter" on DVD
--Only farm-fresh, unprocessed and unpasteurized organic foods to be served
--Clairol Herbal Essences Highlighting Conditioner and Dye ® in #53 "Amber Waves of Grain"

Nadia Turner
--one piece of dry toast (breakfast)
--one rice cake, one stalk of celery (lunch)
--one tablespoon of brown rice, one teaspoon of green beans (dinner)
--three 10-gallon Sparkletts water coolers, one half of a lemon (for flavoring)
--Styrofoam blocks arranged in horseshoe on bed (for hair cushioning)
--One copy of "Make a Bitch Face and SANG!" by Jennifer Hudson, inscribed "Y'all might be skinny but I can still whup your ass, bitch! Love and best wishes, Jennifer"
--One bottle of 205 Brand ® Unwarranted Tongue Bath remover, maximum strength

Scott Savol
--Sheet music for every song Ruben has ever sung
--The collected works of Thomas Harris
--Knives, one Bowie, one hunting, one switchblade, one butcher
--One case latex surgical gloves
--One hot plate and one stock pot (for boiling said knives)
--One pair handcuffs
--One case Hefty ® 30-gallon lawn and leaf trash bags
--One 6'x10' unbound carpet remnant, platelet red
--One windowless van, black
--One framed photo of Ted Bundy with a bite taken from the corner

Bwah! HIlarious.

Hee. Hee. Oh, and HEE! HamOnWry you are awesome. JHud's voice alone would physically blow half the contestants this year off the stage.

HamOnWry, hats off to you. That was frickin' brilliant!