I went through one of my Freaks and Geeks tapes - preparing for the DVDs - and watched the Halloween episode where Neil dresses like Groucho and Bill - ah! Bill - dresses up like the Bionic Woman. And one would think as Neil is the sarcastic funny one he would be the one with the best rib ticklers, no, no, Bill getting into the character of Jaime Somers is the best, he uses his/her bionic hearing, claims the breasts are real, not bionic and just looks amazing dressed as a woman. Love it, it still has me rotfl.

I saw again the Futurama episode where Fry, Bender, Zap Brannigan and Kiff land on the planet with the giant amazon women.

Their 'laughing their asses off' reaction is priceless when the amazon tells them about amazon basketball and how, although they can't slamdunk, their basketball is more entertaining because it has better 'fundamentals'.

There was a special on John Stamos, and they had Bob Saget on, too.

"It was about three straight guys raising three girls in San Francisco. That was my tag back then."

"Why didn't they anyone tell us about our hair? I had big poufy hair like Joyce DeWitt."

And my favorite: "Tune in tonight for a Very Special Episode, in which Uncle Jesse gets diarrhea."

This holiday season on Conan O'Brian, they decided to have a race of the holy icons. The Menorah, the Baby Jesus, and the Kinara (the symbol for Kwanzaa) all competed for the title of the World's fastest holiday symbol. The Menorah and Baby Jesus race by the camera to the tunes of Hava Nagila and the Hallelujah chorus, and a few seconds later the Kenorah slowly cruises its way across the screen to "Let's Get it On". As soon as it's over Conan orders an impassioned "Again! and Again! One more time!" Then he says: "Man, that's not the fastest holiday symbol, but it sure is the coolest. " It cracks me up every time.

On David Letterman, I looove when Pat & Kenny read Oprah transcripts in the Pat & Kenny Read Oprah Transcripts segment. Its done rarely enough so it cracks me up every single time. And the guys are so incredibly emotionless while they read the transcripts, it is so hilarious.

So they do that 'Oprah' reading more than once? Good news!

Dave's show is on VERY late here in the UK so I only see it when I get home from a night shift, but I saw them do Oprah with Jennifer Aniston last night and it nearly made me fall off my sofa. Those guys are brilliant. I think it was the cig hanging out of the little guy's mouth that did it. I will never think of Rachael the same way again.

Will and Grace:

Grace is dating someone with six toes, and in the Toy Store, Karen makes this.. circus noise. That just cracked me up.

Anything with Jack in it. Especially when he gets hooked on coffee.

Episode where Will is trying to get to a Barry Manilow concert. Karen likes the songs, and then at the end Grace sings. Its funneh.

That 70s Show's "Taternuts" episode. The whole thing leaves me holding my stomach from all the laughing.

Gulftastic, that's the same one that reminded me to post here!! The transcripts are exactly word for word, including Oprah talking to the audience in the way she does, so my favorite parts are when the guy who reads Oprah's part (I have no idea who is Pat and who is Kenny) says things like, "Woo. Hey, girl. Woo. Woo. How's it going, girlfriend." because he has absolutely no emotion in his voice at all.

Also on Will and Grace:

I don't remeber these being posted here before, but in the episode where Will finds out his dad is cheating on his mother (aaaages ago), and Grace first sees his dad and his girlfriend together at 'Suessical: The musical'. Grace is out with her date, and when she's finished talking to Will's dad and his date, and they go back inside, she says to her date "Is there anything worse than a married man sheating on his wife?". He just looks at her and says "Oh. I should go.", and leaves. Hil.Arious. It's all in the delivery. May not sound so funny written down, though.

Also on W&G, Jack and Karen are in a waiting room together, and there are some helium ballons. So Jack breathes in the neck of one, and speaks with his helium voice. Karen goes "Oooh! Let me have a go!", and breathes in deeply. Then she says "Hello", but she's still got the same voice! And Jack starts rolling around laughing on the floor. Karen says "How do I sound, how do I sound", and Jack says "Oh, you sound so wierd". Hee. Love that show.

DOMP7, Pat is the taller one who reads Oprah, and Kenny is the little guy with the cigarette who reads the guest part. I love these so much that I'm close to sending off for the transcripts so that I can read them with my friends, as Dave always suggests.

Jon Stewart had a JJ nipple segment that was hilarious. One guy (I forget who) insisted on having the clip shown over and over at the bottom of the screen. Then he mentioned how many different ways you could conceal the nipple by editing - such as the pixel, the blur, and the Star of Shame.

Then he asked for it in black and white, and the camera duly obeyed.

All the while talking about how horrible and over-exposed the controversy was.

emace, I saw that, too. I am incredibly sick of the coverage (though it has died down a lot in the last couple of days), but that was just too funny. I think Steven Colbert was the one who kept the clip going in the corner of the screen...either that or he was the other guy, and someone else was the guy with the corner scene. LOL.

On the CBS Sunday Morning news show, they're doing a segment on it, and the commentator keeps referring to Janet's "jewelry" as "bosom metallurgy."

HEE!

Call me cruel, but the most unintentionally funny moment on TV had to be when Reva drove her car off the bridge into the ocean on Guiding Light. I didn't cry for Springfield's Slut. I laughed.

Good lord, this topic was so buried, I had to use the search function!

I was just reminded, in the Joan of Arcadia forum of all places, of a line from M.A.S.H. that still makes me giggle. Col. Flagg is trying to intimidate Charles and pronounces Charles's sister's name, Honoria, as "Hon-a-ree-a."

I don't know why, it just makes me laugh.

I think that part of the reason that it's funny is that it rhymes with . . . oh, I don't know . . . something beginning with "g" . . .

Just read back to the transcript reading, and have to put in a plug for "The Daily Show"'s "Great Moments in Punditry", in which they have elementary school kids read transcripts of the so-called "talking heads" news shows.

While the message may be overly obvious, I can't help but crack up every time. Great perspective on the blowhards who infest our airwaves.

Hmmm, this thread was buried when Angel's puppet episode ("Smile Time") aired... That entire episode is the funniest thing I have ever seen on TV.

"I'm made of felt... And by doze cobes off."

"I do not have puppet cancer!"

And on, and on...

So many of my Comedy Gold moments are from dramas:

- Bosco turning the table on his muggers, and making them strip before taking off, then turning green when he sees them in the station hysterically trying to describe him. The entire sub-plot from there, from Bosco dragging Faith into the stalls and trying to rationalise what he did, the toilet flushing, Bosco freezing and then with narrowed eyes 'I thought I told you to check the stalls' he accuses Faith / 'I didn't know you were gonna confess to armed robbery!' So now Ty and Sully are in the know, and they could not be more perfect as foils. The 4 of them looking at the sketch artists drawing of a glowering Bosco on the bullettin board has me laughing now.

- Also on 3rd Watch when the retard who has a 'crush' on Bosco steals the cop car, and Faith and him hitch a ride with 2 other cops, and give chase. Whatever Bosco yells at him 'pull over' 'shaddup' the guy is sincerely trying to imitate him and is squeaking back.

- In ER Carter (oh so earnestly and wide-eyed which is what brings the funny) knocking his head against the glass door to get Benton's attention, because he's already scrubbed up. Benton is in the midst of a romantic conversation and is just glancing up irritatedly at this, and when he finally does leave he stalks right through the door pushing it through so hard it knocks Carter's head right back. Bwah!

- In Stargate's time loop ep, Daniel casually suggesting that they could do anything without consequences, and Jack and Teal'c looking at eachother, doing an about turn and walking out of the lesson.

- In Malcolm in the Middle, it still can be funny and hasn't jumped the shark, but my god in the earlier seasons it was genius. When Francis has been playing the boys against eachother competing for the tickets, and then takes a girl, and a slip falls out of the sunvisor reading 'you will pay'. He smirks 'amateurs'. Then the whole pulling over by cop cars as the car's been reported stolen, and when Francis is rolling his eyes 'officer I can explain' he finds in his wallet 'it gets worse'. The cop hears a hammering coming from the boot and there's Mal and Reese trussed and gagged.

AKA my "You've got mail!" sound.

Most of my other favorites have already been mentioned, but her y'are:

Whose Line: "Tapioca!" And uber-word on Ryan breaking the neon. I nearly wet myself.

Wetbiscuit McLee! And I don't remember exactly what it was, but they got Colin to dance on one of the Greatest Hits things. I was in tears.

MST3K: Space Mutiny! My God, that kills me every time.

"Listen, lady!"
"It's doctor"
"Doctor lady!"

Coupling: Oh lord, where to begin? Every episode ever, and every word Jeff has ever said.

People have mentioned the Stargate SG-1 with the time loop, but nobody's given a nod to my favorite bit: Jack strides into the base in civilian dress and announces that he's handing in his resignation. Hammond demands to know why, and Jacks responds, "So I can do this," and grabs Sam and kisses her. Time loop flash back to the beginning of the day, and Sam giving some uninteresting presentation. She pauses: "Commander, is something wrong?" Cut to Jack, wearing the smuggest little grin in the history of television. "No, nothing at all."

Will & Grace, when Will sneaks Leo home early and is trying to keep Grace from finding out, but she's beginning to realize something's going on: "(gasps) You're wearing your short robe! (gasps louder) I smell orange juice! (gasps so loud she probably injures her lungs) I have no idea what this all means!"

On the Most Embarrassing Game Show moments show, there were a couple.

Woman, slowly: "How do you spell relief?"
Guy gets sheepish look on his face: "F - A - R - T!"

Question: "In my house, the electricity travels from the WHERE to the WHERE?"
Woman blurts out: "From the plug to the vibrator?"

And Bob Eubanks having Ben Stein list the surprising things you are allowed to say on the air - he keeps going and going.

Bob: "OK, that's enough now."
Stein, deadpan: "Bueller, Bueller."

Hey, does anybody remember the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" episode where Will was not allowed to graduate cause he flunked music-class. So then he had to take the class with little children. And at graduation he was forced to sing "You are my Sunshine" dressed like a sunflower (In green tights, and petals on his head) in front of the graduating class!

And then in the middle of the song they switched and did a "James Brown Version" of You are my Sunshine with that kid from Code Mercury doing these hillarious James Brown noises. Just that combined with Will Smith in body suit and yellow petals on his head made me laugh so hard I was crying!

*Ehum*, why yes, I've seen every episode of Fresh Prince at least twice, heh.

The monologue Steve gave the gang during dinner about what men are about
"potpourri; looks like breakfast, smells like your granny". Funniest sentence ever!

with that kid from Code Mercury doing these hillarious James Brown noises.

Ha! That kid sounded like he had something stuck in his throat. That was a great episode.

And a few days ago I ran across an old episode of Three's Company that has long been one of my favorites. It's the one where Jack takes Janet to a fancy party and he's high on tranquilizers. Then he drinks a "pick-me up" and starts to dance and spazz about. I remember cracking up over this as a kid and re-watching it, it's just as funny. John Ritter's physical comedy was pure genius.

Not as hard as I laughed when the Learning Channel's "A Wedding Story", which chronicles the real life triumphs and so forth of 'ordinary' people's weddings, did a heavily promoted episode covering the third wedding of "Reva Shayne" and "Josh Lewis" and everything they went through to get together.

I never watched the actual episode, but the commercials, which acted as if this was all very real and very moving, cracked me up every time.

Omigod! That episode? cheese city! I stumbled across it and, like a bad car wreck, couldn't look away (well, not quickly enough). I tuned in at Reva marrying Josh's father (who looked old enough to be at least his grandfather), then seducing Josh (who was of course living with him, what with his being in a wheelchair and all), and hung on until she started mumbling something about having been presumed dead, was found living on an Amish farm, and then somehow turned out to have actually been involved with some prince during this time. WTF? Clearly I missed something, because I grew up in PA and I don't remember any Amish princes. It just got too painful watching that poor actress try to sell this shit as if she's really telling her life story. But it was a hoot looking at the bad hair, clothing and make-up from the various clips-through-time.

The Amish storyline and the one about the Prince were two different storylines, but I can understand why you would be confused about it because essentially they were the same storyline - Reva is assumed dead, Josh tries to get on with his life and Reva is found living a very different life.

It's all pretty funny, really, if you ask me. That and Kim Zimmer's three Emmy Awards for getting through the muck.

Those stupid game show or news bloopers shows always have at least one hilarious moment. A recent favorite was from some local newscast:

Anchor guy 1 was narrating a "human interest" story about a couple of escaped cows rescued from a road or whatever, and as the video was going he was saying: "The cows, Black and Gus, I guess those are their names, were taken in to blahblahblah."

And at the end of the story they cut back to the desk and Anchor Guy 1 looks confusedly at Anchor Guy 2, who is trying to stifle some laughter. Anchor Guy 2: "Um, Jim. I'm wondering if maybe those were black Angus cows?"

Also, I recent promo for Crossing Jordan that I saw during The West Wing cracked me up, although it was trying to be dramatic and serious:

NBC dramatic V/O guy: "And on Crossing Jordan, one of the team is stalked..."

Character 1: "I thought you were stalking me!"
Character 2: "I thought you were stalking me!"

NBC V/O guy: "But...who is stalking who?!"

Me: I can't believe you're serious with that!

Sorry if this already showed up somewhere in previous posts, but here's one of mine:

SNL again... The skit where David Alan Grier, Will Ferrell and Nancy Walls are hosting a live morning show, and the teleprompter dies. They're all terrified at the prospect of improvising/performing before the live camera without every word written out for them. They immediately start babbling, crying, and panicking. Then it gets worse.

In the space of 3-5 minutes, they've regressed to caveman. Will Ferrell challenges DAG for alpha male rights for the area (the studio). They start to fight and next thing you know, WF has ripped DAG's head off! A few seconds, later, the teleprompter is working again and there's WF with his shirt torn off, and DAG's bloody head in his hand. All this is going out to the viewing audience.

Comic genius.

Ross as the Holiday Armadillo on "Friends" gets me everytime. Seeing him standing there in that ugly ass costume and talking about Hannukah cracks me up.

A couple stand out for me on further reflection:

I can't stand the man now, but Dennis Miller on "Weekend Update" was one of the best SNL anchors ever. More so when he got self-referential.

"In a recent interview, telejournalist Geraldo Rivera was asked about recent criticisms of his work and how they affected him. He replied 'You know, I usually don't let it get to me, but sometimes it really does hurt. There's times that I want to take that 'Saturday Night Live Weekend Update Guy' and wring him by the neck like a chicken".

Audience boos. Miller faces the camera with his trademark smirk.

"Now, Geraldo...don't you have better things to do with your time than...choking a chicken?"

I laughed through the whole commercial break. Yeah, I was a teenager at the time.

Okay, that "Malcolm in the Middle" post was hysterical. I rarely watch that show but when I do, it has me in stitches.

I just watched VH1's Movie Secrets: Disaster Movies. The whole segment was a riot, and as usual, about 100% accurate.

One of the movies featured was "The Perfect Storm". They were praising the movie, until one of its final scenes, where the boat has capsized and George Clooney (yum) is apologizing to Mark Wahlberg for having "gotten him into to this" The characters then exchange meaningful "we're going to die, but damnit, we're going out with an "Aw, f**k it" attitude" banter and looks.

Commentators:
"I always thought they should have started making out at that point. Wouldn't that have been perfect? A great way to tie everything up. Come on, you know they wanted to."

This dialogue is played over footage of the scene, with soulful R & B music playing in the background.

Already ROTFLMAO (literally, I swear), I was more so when you consider that you always DO get kind of a HoYay! vibe during that scene.

And I'm laughing so much remembering, I could barely type this

Many years ago Aaron Brown (now on CNN) anchored the 11 o/c news from seattle. Mr. Knitter and I were watching one night when it was reported that 30 college students were arrested after being found in the dark with a goat. Aaron Brown just cracked up before the word goat, everytime he tried to reread the line he got hysterical before the word "goat", so we had no idea what was so funny. Finally he just sputters out the word "goat" and falls down laughing. I almost wet my pants I laughed so hard.

Now whenever Aaron Brown comes on CNN looking so serious, Mr. Knitter and I say "goat" to each other and start laughing.

Poor goat.

"The Cutman Cometh" from Sports Night has me in hysterics every single time. From the commentator refusing to respond unless they call him Cutman, "I'm Dan, he's Casey," "mild doses of physic for the bowels", the 52 states, etc.

I also love "And the Crowd Goes Wild" when Dan keeps moving around the office while talking to Casey and when he screams at him to get away from the windows. Hee.

Me too! I love that episode.

Seriously? I cant sit here and read 77 pages without laughing my head off.
Here's my two cents
It was a Rowan Atkinson Sketch on comedy central/ He is in a one man show/fairy tale and he wears pink tights. The "narrator" keeps making him kneel and every single time you can hear the crack of his knees on the stage- the last time he grabs a piullow off the throne at the last second. The whole skit is brillitant- anyone know of it or where I can get a hold of it?

Penthilisea:

Here ya go.

I have the tape, and the whole thing is hilarious. I don't think it's on DVD, but hopefully you can get it cheaper on eBay or half.com. Anything Rowan does is good to me.

I'm with ya, Eris Rising.

My favorite Dennis Miller on SNL Weekend Update moment?

Jimmy Swaggart got arrested this week for being in a hotel room with a prostitute. He claims he was not having sex with the woman, but was simply masturbating. Folks....it's 12:15 in the morning. Let he who has a *free hand* cast the first stone.

I died!

I'm so with you guys on Dennis Miller.

I love the X-Files episode "Arcadia" where Scully and Mulder are posing as a married couple. Full of laughs. I love the scene where they are talking to a neighbor and Mulder says something about them spooning like two little baby kittens. Then he calls her a pet name and she refers to him as poopy pants or something like that. Sorry I don't have the exact wording. Hilarious none the less.

SNL funnies:

Colon Blow

Compulsion by Calvin Kleen is another classic.

Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer with the genius Phil Hartman.

Massive Headwound Harry

The Chippendales audition with Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze

And many more.....

The I Love the 70s/80s are so funny!

Currently the funniest thing on tv, to me, is when Conan shows the Walker Texas Ranger clips.

I absolutely adore Pat and Kenny reading Oprah transcripts. I get so excited when he says they're going to do it, it's kind of embarassing. My very favourite was Mariah Carey, it was like 85% wooing and 'you go-ing' interspersed with hilariously stupid Carey comments about her spirituality.

Apparently the key to the delivery, just btw, is that they rehearse it over and over and over and over because they can't stop cracking up either. I love it when Kenny breaks on camera and the cigarette starts shaking though.

Couldn't find a thread in "Cartoons" so:

Tonight, South Park ran the eppy where the gang goes to Aspen, and the parents get kidnapped by time sharing cultists. Meanwhile Stan gets challenged to a ski race by a local snob and has to train to this song called "Montage" basically mocking all those "Karate Kid" type of movies. Sample line: "To go from beginner to pro in just a few hours, you need a montage!"

Time loops? Never not funny. But getting the Season Six "Buffy" DVDs reminded me of one of the best: the mummy hand. A laugh-until-you-puke romp, but the best moment is when Buffy rips Giles' glasses out of his hand, flings them to the floor, and stomps on them. The "...okay, this is new..." look on his face is priceless.

I can't remember if it was on The State, MadTV, or some other non-SNL comedy skit show, but I saw this skit years ago and it still makes me laugh. This guy wakes up hung over and there is a secret service man watching him. The guy finds out that he got really drunk, ran for the office of President, and had been the drunken president for the last six years. He finds out that he had acquired 3 new states for the US so he asks the secret service guy how:
SSguy: Well, in the case of Cuba. You walked into the United Nations and said, 'Cuba is now part of the United States. Anybody got a problem with that?'
President: And no one did?
SSguy: The chancelor of France started to say something but he sat down once you asked him if 'he wanted to take this outside'.

I just saw this one recently and you are so right! The whole storyline with Warren, Jonathan and Andrew had some fantastic humor.

edited to close quote

(I think that drunk president sketch was Mad TV.)

Tonights' Friends rerun just aired, with that great Ross/Joey exchange when they were competing for the attention of Gabrielle Union.

Ross: Hey, weren't you on a poster for gonorrhea?

Joey: Have you ever slept with a monkey?

Ross: Leave Marcel out of this!

Joey: MONKEY LOVER!!

Okay, there was a skit that didn't involve any of the big stars (to my recollection) that was nothing more than a man talking to his guardian angel after he died. I saw this a long time ago, and haven't seen it since, so forgive the sketchy details.

The guy asked his guardian angel a bunch of questions about things that he wanted to know, such as what was the biggest opportunitiy he missed. The answer was something like he was about to dig in some sand on the beach and would have found a multi-million dollar treasure, but he got distracted by a hermit crab. He asked about girls who loved him but he never knew, and the angel says, "well, remember so and so in the fourth grade, she loved you." The guy says, kind of excitedly, "Really! Who else?", and the angel says, "That's it."

All in all, it was a lot funnier than I'm able to say it here, but the part that stuck with me was when he asked, "What's the most disgusting thing I ever ate?" The angel shakes his head and says, "I'm not telling you that; you don't want to know." So the guy presses on and says, "Okay, okay. What's the second most disgusting thing I ever ate?" The angel again shakes his head, saying "no, no, no, you don't want to know." So finally he asks, "Okay, what's the 200th most disgusting thing I ever ate?" The angel thinks and says, "Well, there was this one time where you ate a butterscotch pudding with a dead earwig in it." The guy makes a puke face and says, "didn't I notice?" and the angel says, "well you made a face, but kept eating."

I don't know why, but the "buitterscotch pudding with a dead earwig in it" has stayed with me for the last 15 years since I saw that.

I believe the dead guy was John Laroquette, and the angel was Dana Carvey. The part I remember is the guy asking the angel to tell him the most shocking secret and the angel wouldn't do it because it would be too much for him to handle. So the guy says something like, "Okay, tell me the 34th most shocking thing" and the angel replies "Professional wrestling is real."

From MadTV - Parody called "Leave it to Blink 182"

Wally comes home, when asked why he's upset: "On account of how I failed my spelling test. On account of Blink making all that noise with their parties."

Ward: "Now, Wally, you can't blame others for your poor study habits. Now go to your room."

Wally: "What for?"

Ward: "For being a tattletale." To Blink: "Now, how dare you have parties in this house without including your mom and me? Shame on you!"

Meanwhile every few minutes, June holds up a platter of a different food.
"Brontasaurus burger, anyone?"

I have another "Will and Grace" moment that had me in hysterics. Grace is trying to get Karen to admit to something, Karen keeps denying it, so Grace says, "that's not what my mole tells me!" And Karen says, "honey, when the moles start talking to you, time to see the dermy." Hee!