After watching the first episode, how about a smackdown between the Trumpettes vs. the Pearl Islands gang? It's action, the way Mark Burnett loves it! Watch as the lady execs wield letter openers to stab and cut slits in their tight skirts! See Jon and Sam try to out-Gollum each other! Gasp in horror as the fellas gang-shave Rupert! And who wins? We the viewers, naturally!

Billy Shears,You and I are thinking on the same page but I was thinking of Lenny Briscoes' (I know not his real name but I am a bad speller) partners in a Battle Royale. Or better yet how about Dennis Franz's NYPD Blue partners.

I am going Chris Noth for L&O and Jimy Smiths for NYPD Blue.

to quote the venerable Captain Cragen, "I'd pay real money to see that."

The conclusion I'd like to see: March, Hennesy, Harmon and Lowell kick Rohm's ass.

Your kidding right? No way - Janet would so win this. She has a lot of pint-up aggression to get out.

My choice:
Jack Bauer of 24vs. Mike Chiklis' charater on the Shield

Fights I'd Like to See:
Jon Stewart vs. Craig Kilborn (Go Jon Go! )
Joel vs. Mike from MST3K
Jasmine vs. Glory (why bother? We all know Jasmine would stomp a mudhole in her and walk it dry.)
Kramer vs. Angel-They're both awkward and have unsettling hair..
Jessica Simpson vs. Her weight in Chihuahuas

Talk Soup Free For All

Greg Kinneer vs Aisha Taylor Vs Hal Sparks Vs Jon Henson

From Homicide: LOtS -- Howard vs. Ballard. ('Course I know Kay would wipe the floor with Ballard's ass, but I'd pay to see that.)

Alan Colmes vs. Phil Donahue, with Alan's job going to the winner. ;")

I want a cage match (with optional oil) between soap hunks of NBC, ABC and CBS. The WWE can referee just because they need a rest and they might be the only people who could.

Lacking that, Victor Newman vs. Sonny Corinthos in a boxing match while wearing as many clothes as possible.

I'd also like a massive bitch-off pitting Miss Dru, Big Red (Phyllis), Nikki, That Tramp Jill, One True Victoria, Susan Stewart, Carly Tenney, Lisa Miller-insertsomehusbandshere-Mitchell, Rosanna Cabot, Barbara Ryan, Stephanie Forrester, and Sally Spectra vs. Blair Lawrence, Dorian Cramer-Lord, Vikki Lord, Faith Rosco, Kendall Cambias, Helena Cassadine, and some others I'm forgetting. The winners get to kill the boxers in their favorite way, and they just get the winners of the cage match.

What I don't understand is why, in this age of reality programming, no one has tried to put something like this together.

Who is this? The only Dru I come up with is from Angel.

Miss Dru is Drucilla Winters from The Young and the Restless.

Miguel (Passions) vs. Clark Kent (Smallville) - with Lex and Reese on the sidelines, selling "My Not!boyfriend can beat up your boyfriend" shirts.

Sark (Alias) vs. Vaughn (Alias). Battle of the Pretty Boys, bonus points for smirking while delivering the final blow

Irina Derevko (Alias) vs. Lionel Luthor (Smallville) - MILF vs. MBILF

Charity (Passions) vs. the BuffBot (Buffy) - "I don't understand that premonition but thank you for letting me kick your ass."

[disclaimer]I don't condone violence against women[/disclaimer], but I want to see somebody knock the snot out of Omarosa.

I don't care who: Kwame, Troy, Diane, Heidi, Ereka, Donald, Carolyn. Invite a lucky viewer to do it. I just want her eating fist sandwich. She can sit down in a fancy restaurant for two hours to eat it - that's fine.

I want her to fall to the ground. Hard.

If she wants to fight back, cool. I just want to see her down.

I'm a woman, and I'd love for somebody to beat the crap out of her.

I think that should be the runner-up consolation prize.

Or Carolyn's bonus.

Funny y'all say that...I've been thinking about it, and I think you gotta fight bitch with bitch. And right now, I'm sure Coral, currently starring in Inferno, can knock Assorama on her ass. After all, Coral doesn't wrestle...she fuckin' beats bitches up.

Annoying friends of core kid/teen sitcoms, unite!

Kimmy Gibbler from Full House versus Six LeMuere from Blossom. Fight 'til the death!

Julie Cooper and Kirsten Cohen from The O.C
vs.
Alexis and Krystle Carrington from Dynasty

Three way battle between Magnificent Bastards: Lex Luthor (Superman: TAS) vs. Lionel Luthor (Smallville) vs. Season 1-2 David Xanatos (Gargoyles).

Phantom Dennis vs. Ghost Spike.

Krang (Original Ninja Turtles) vs. The Shredder (New Ninja Turtles): Battle of the brains in bodies.

I have wanted to see a post-resurrection Aeryn Sun (Farscape) kick Buffy's scrawny ass for years. SMG is just so...unconvincing, and while I'm sure that's half the point (just a girl, blah blah blah), I still think Aeryn would take her down in a matter of minutes. And then Jessica Alba, for good measure.

I'd like to see Summer bitchslap the hell outta Marissa on The O.C. That would be awesome.

I think a Les Moonves/Jeff Zucker battle would be pretty interesting.

The winner would get to poach a show from the other network (basically trading "Law and Order" for "CSI", but still).

If Mary Kate and Ashley went toe-to-toe with Paris and Nicole, that would be very worthy. Funny how no one talks about her actual sister anymore.

Illyria vs Glory.
The battle of the godlike girls!!!

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy's Fab Five versus the Brady Bunch Kids.

"Ow! My nose!"

Grissom v Goran

Angel vs. The Dragon

Angel vs. The Dragon- i second that.

I would have like to see Riley -vs- unchip Spike

Glory-vs-Dark Willow

and last but not least Lilah -Vs-Eve

I'd love to watch ANYONE pelting her with pieces of cement and maniacally cackling "This is what cee-ment feels like you hypochondriac, lazy-ass, pathological liar."

Paris Gellar vs. Lois Wilkerson, anyone?

As scary as Paris can be when she's pissed I'd have to go with Lois in this one.

I wouldn't want to see the Paris/Lois fight because I like Paris way too much to want to see her get her butt kicked.

What I would love to see is Paris Gellar kicking the H-e-double-toothpicks out of Lizzie McGuire! "Tie your tubes, idiot!" Yes! (Sure, it would hardly be a fair fight, but I don't care.)

I'd like to see the "West Wing Season 2" model of C.J. Cregg come over to ER and mop the floor with Sam. "Let me show you what REAL attitude looks like, little girl." (Oh, but I do miss that version of C.J.)

ER's Pratt needs a smackdown. And just maybe, M*A*S*H's Charles Emerson Winchester is just the one to do it.

Someone mentioned the Olsen twins and Paris Hilton/Nicole Ritchie. If both sides could annihilate each other in a four-way deathmatch, I'd be cool with that.

I want Faith (wielding a stake fashioned out of "green meteor rock") vs. that Kryptonian jackass Clark Kent (Smallville version). Bonus points if he were to explode in a cloud of dust and make that "dying vampire" noise. She'd probably have to sneak up behind him, though, just to avoid ending up in a coma yet again.

I want Coretta Scott King, Lena Horne or Diahann Carroll to give a verbal smackdown to Omarosa. Mrs. King is too much of a lady to indulge in fisticuffs, but all she have to do to flatten the horrid O is fix her with a steely look and say, "I want you to take a good look at a real "strong Black woman."

Lena Horne and Diahann Carroll also have a lot of class, but they both look like they could give a good bitch-slap to Omarosa, if necessary.

Holy shit! I thought I was the only one who remembered that show! I'd love to see Goliath beat the crap out of pretty much anyone, but especially Lana Lang. He could just flick her into a castle wall and she'd be flatter than her parents, and the peasants would rejoice.

Jack Bauer (24) Vs. Sydney Bristow (Alias)

Kick Ass! [/cartman]

I think that one would totally go like in "Raiders of the Lost Ark". Syd would pull out all these fancy kicks and shit, and Jack would pull out a gun and shoot her.

But the problem with that is no one ever *really* dies on Alias, so Syd would come back and inject Jack with Rambaldi Life Juice until he fell into a coma...or something.

"Break me up a switch, son, there's going to be some alien whooping!"

What a lovely image to carry me through the day.

The OC's Anna vs. 90210's Emily Valentine

The battle of the slightly quirky, fashionably challenged spunky blonds.

It's too easy, buuuut:

Grissom & Mac vs, HoCaine in a tag match!

Dedicated to Speedle. *sniff*

eta: Ooo- howsabout a match between Willows and Buenaserra? For the right to sit on the High Horse?

Sonny Corinthos vs Tony Soprano (A real Mobster).

Jason "Borg" Morgan vs a real Borg from Star Trek. Both those smug asshole soap "hunks" would be dead in seconds.

Corey Matthews vs Kevin Arnold. I just think it'd be funny.

Ninja Turtles vs Gargoyles - with Splinter and Hudson duking it out, naturally. Now that'd be awesome.

Blade vs Buffy vs Vampire Hunter D vs Christina vs Witch Hunter Robin vs the Charmed Ones vs the guy from Brimstone vs the Collecter vs Sango

Max Evans vs Clark Kent. With any luck they'll kill eachother.

This topic reminds me of an old Letterman bit from the NBC days:

Q: If Gary Coleman were to fight Adam Rich from Eight is Enough on TV with pool cues, who would win?

A: We, the television viewing audience.

Hmm, TV fights.

First, I'd square off Serena from L&O and Casey, from LO:SVU, that would be a fight of the whiniest, most atrociously falsely femme gals I can think of. The hair pulling, the wardrobe insults, the manicured nails, too damned funny.

Next, it'd be Nick Stokes (CSI) and Dean Winters (Oz, LO:SVU), just cuz I'm crazy like that and need some pleasant thoughts to keep me warm through another cold Canadian winter.

Last, for the title fight, I'd pit David Caruso against Vincent D'Onofrio. It wouldn't be much of a fight, of course, seeing as Caruso's only ninety five pounds and barely more of a physical threat than my two year old; while VDO is six four and two hundred if he's an ounce. I'd pay large sums of money (even if I had to steal it) to watch someone pound that scrawny red-headed stepchild into oblivion.

I'd like to see The Beast (from Angel) versus all the Desperate Housewives. That would be really awesome...I wonder how many nanoseconds would pass before they all ended up being smears along Wisteria Lane.

An E.R. one - I kinda wish Kerry and smacked Rocket Romano one, he deserved it for all the nasty things he'd said, particularly about her. And she knows how to use that crutch as an offensive weapon, she's done it on several occasions. That would have been SOOO sweet.

Gilmore Girls' Paris Geller VS. Real World Coral!
That would be something I would actually pay to see, even though one of them is a fictional character.
Who can out-insult, out-argue, out-snark?

How about Paris vs. Grace Polk from Joan of Arcadia, mettalicsquink?

GalacticaBoomer vs CapricaBoomer

Angel vs The Hulk. Just so I can watch Angel lose, big time.

Dylan Hunt vs Captain Kirk, because you know the Kirk would win.

A battle of Buffy the Vampire Slayer against Smallville:
Buffy Summers and Willow Rosenberg Vs Clark Kent and Lana Lang in a whine-off.

Location: A hastily constructed stadium in the middle of a desert.

Conditions: Each side is given 5 minutes to whine about how much their life sucks and how unfair it is, bonus points are awarded for complete self-absorption and wishing you were normal. Then each side is offered a 2 minute rebuttal. After all the whining is finished, the judges from American Idol vote on the winner.

Then a Kryptonite laced nuclear bomb is dropped on the stadium.

Kate (Lost) v. Sydney Bristow in an oil wrestling match. Just for the viewing pleasure.

Substitute Faith (BtVS) for Kate and I'm up for it, verve. Faith is better looking and would put up a better fight too.

Faith Vs. Tru

Can we have an Abby from ER versus, I don't know, maybe the lions from Father of the Pride or any man eating beasts around. Anything please to just get her off screen?
(and yeah, I've just watched 'Skin' aka the latest installment of AbbER)