Not to be a nitpicker, but.... didn't Clark and Lana have sex during the period when Clark was human (at the beginning of this season)? If so, she's already known the pleasures of the flesh, not to mention actively pressuring Clark to rekindle their sexual relationship throughout most of this season (it was Clark's refusal to be intimate with her, after all, that ultimately led to the collapse of their relationship).

Psssst... I was joking...

But Lex is EVOL! Clearly you can have as much sex as you want as long as it's not with Lex. As evidenced by "Bound." Or, actually, if you're Chloe, you can't have sex at all, or you're blamed for everyone else's problems.

Heh. And ew.

Maybe since Lex, Lana, and Clark all "died" in Void, they came back to life as born-again virgins. You know it crossed the DOMOS' minds!

What'll be the thing that makes Lana realize everyone was right about Lex (without actually admitting it)? Will it be thecreth? Will it be lieth? Some magical, heretofore unexplored combination of the two?

Maybe I should change it to the "re-hyphening."



Probably something really dumb, like she caught him keeping a journal about Clark. Or he didn't find her attractive enough in her Laura Ingalls nightie. I'm not banal enough to think of something stupid enough for Lana to get pissed about. But I'm calling it: A trivial little something... like leaving the light on in the bathroom.

"Lex! You've been hypnotized! We need to conserve energy!"

Ooh, that could possibly be the one thing that'll actually make Lana even more annoying: She becomes a hippie.

I think it'll be something akin to what happened in Commencement and Reckoning- Lex, believing (no doubt mistakenly) that Lana has betrayed or is keeping something from him, will show his true colors in a moment of weakness and try to take the knowledge by force, and Lana will realize that she has put her trust in the wrong person, after all.

That's it. I need to sell a kidney and have Cyb and Booberella fly here and hang out with me. If I give up a kidney I can't drink the margaritas, but what the hell? It would be so worth it.

You guys absolutely kill me. In the best possible way.

I imagine that she will get pissed that Lex isn't sending her regular status reports about all of LuthorCorps and its subsidiary's activities, she'll accuse him of keeping secrets from her and lying about it, and she'll probably start talking to Clark about how Lex isn't the man she thought he was while making mooney eyes at Clark again.

Of course, then Lex will catch them unawares and think that there's something going on and Lana is betraying him, at which point, he'll go full blown psychotic and become Evol.

In a perfect world, Lex will realize just how little she has to offer him, he will minimize her role in his life to that of trophy wife, and that will make her feel like he's not worshipping her as he ought.

Since he's Evol, he'd be permitted to call Lana on her crap, right? I think that's the general rule. So he could catch Lana and Clark in one of their long, awkward staring contests and say, "I'm disappointed but not at all surprised. After all, isn't this the same thing you do in every relationship? Always keeping an eye out for greener pastures?" Then she could make her Angry Squirrel face and Clark would unfortunately defend her. Or, in the version in my head, he'd shrug and say, "Gotta admit, the man's got a point."

Just don't sell your own kidney and you can still drink!

Yes, good lord! You're not supposed to sell your body parts, just your body.



PFFF! Like she could read a spreadsheet! "Lex, what're all these squiggly lines? I WANT TO KNOW THE SECRET TO THIS PIE CHART RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"

Both speaking good sense, sell my body (eep!), keep my kidney and drink with you two? An elegant solution...this is Florida, after all!

:)


Nah. You'll know it's coming when she changes her major from astronomy to a double of finance and business. Then she'll automatically understand everything he says, and steal Lexcorp from him after she catches Lex and Clark in flagrante in Clark's barn.

Further discussion of body part auctions has been taken to the meet market! Hooray!

Here's hoping they cast Clancy Brown as Darkseid next year. :-D

I wanted him for Zod, but I guess they're going in a different direction. But Darksied would be cool too.

Clancy Brown is cool regardless. They could have him play the lamest charactr ever and that character would be cool because he is played by Clancy Brown.

Isn't there a thread for acors we would like to see on Smallville?

Yarp. It's here.

Thanks, booberella. I was going to go look for it right after I asked the question, but then I had to go do work. (Can you believe that my boss actually expects me to earn my paycheck instead of post on these boards?) By the time I got home I completely forgot about it.

No problem. I usually try not to post until all the managers go home. It still doesn't explain why I get home and post (well, yes it does... my husband is watching Sportscenter, so I have to find something to do other than drink.)

Perhaps Lana gets mad at Lex for not telling her all about Zod? If in fact he does get possessed by Zod or some other stupid crap? Hmmm.... now that I'm thinking about it, what if Lex finds out Clark's secret but refuses to tell Lana? Hee hee. I just made myself laugh. Lana takes two gay lovers and they both refuse to tell her the truth about Krypton.



You mean... Baby!Zod?!?! That's awesome. *squeaky voice* "Kneel Before Baby!Zod!"

Perhaps Zod will impregnate Lana after possessing Lex's body. Lana, of course, will not notice that her boyfriend is not himself these days because she's too self-absorbed. After Zod exits, Lex will awake to find his preciousss squirrel knocked up with no memory of the spawn's conception. The birth of this ZodLanaHybridSpawn will unleash the greatest evil known to mankind.

Or they could always go with their standard storyline of Lana dumping Lex, and Lex stalking and dangerously obsessing over her - just like all her other previous evil boyfriends.

.

I really REALLY hope they don't go with this idea. Really Lana is a total co-dependant personality. Historically she has ended relationships because of her "abandonment issues" or because she sees greener pastures with Clark. This also explains the rather quick move to Lex after Clark made the best decision of his life IMO.

Lex has had a thing for Lana from at least S4 recall "Evil" Lex from Onyx. I'm sure Lana knew this and while it wasn't ALL Lex the whole point of Onyx was to showcase the dark side of Lex.

Lana knew Lex was interested and seeing as she obviously can't be alone, she ran to the first available guy.

I'm curious if anyone has bothered to do an episode count where Lana is actually single or at least not in a situation where there is active pursuit for her affections.

Personally I don't mind the Lexana stuff as much as I thought I would. I still HATE HATE HATE Lana. I hope that once Lexana is established, that they actually take the time to develop it and grow it before Lana has a another bout of squrily rage! about Lex's Secreeth and Lieths!

This sounds terrible but I keep getting Liza Minelli flashbacks.

Dude, not all Lana's boyfriends were `mos, Mobius. She's way more like J-Lo than Liza.

Hee hee. J-La. Can Lana put out a couple of bad dance albums and become a Fly Girl in season six? *resists making "I'm Just Squirrley From The Farm" jokes*

...DAMMIT!

OMG! The people I work with now think I've come unhinged and it's all your fault!

Keeping with your J-La theory would that make Clark Asshatfleck or BDA-Ditty??

It's Lana with an "N."

Hey all, I was wondering if someone who's less downy innocent about spoilers might be able to confirm or disconfrim the below casting rumor, the provenance of which I forgot long ago (and am reticent to Google without getting spoiled way beyond where I want to be; casting is one thing...) I figured this is the best thread for it, if not sorry Omar...

Chistopher Eccleston (The Doctor) as Zod?

BigKev, there is a spoiler thread specifically for discussion of spoilers. However, this isn't a spoiler; it was part of KryptonSite's April Fools Day joke.

Thanks ratman... I'm well aware of the spoiler topic, but couldn't figure out a way to avoid the spoilers I didn't want. :) Ah, those ksite cutups...

All too aware of her long-standing issue with secreths & lieths, mindful of everything she'd ever confided to him regarding Clana, Lex has artfully fed the angry squirrel a steady diet of measured disclosure in an effort to make her feel included, trusted and taken seriously, as an adult. And slowly but steadily, encouraged by her loyalty and willingness to be the woman at his side as he pursues greatness in season 6, Lex draws Lana deeper and deeper into a world of increasingly dark moral ambiguity as he progresses towards his ill-fated black hat; sharing things with her he wouldn't have revealled just a year ago, for trusting the ground where he steps now is solid and won't crack beneath him like ice.

Subsequently granted a level of access into his private dealings hitherto unheard of, Lana stumbles upon something by accident; something disturbing that she wasn't supposed to see. Indeed, unsettled by it, she makes covert inquiries on her own via Chloe because, and you can hear her saying this line of dialogue, can't you:

"I didn't want you to think I didn't trust you, Lex." (ahem.)

Momentarily caught off guard, he's angry to learn she spoke to Chloe. It's a brief outburst, and although he recovers quickly and apologizes profoundly, Lex Luthor has actually raised his voice to the squirrel - GASP!

And that's it, he's fucked. Lexana's days are now numbered.

Once again, I bump, with the power of a thousand Clards-In-Space.

Time to dust off the predictions for Season Six, now that we've been cliffhanged. I say Zod puts up with the Princess for about three more hours, then figures out she's just a tease and goes for someone with bigger ho-ho's. Maybe he has Lois flown to him. I'm sure a Kryptonian SuperVillian can figure out how to get her to shut her mouth. Muah ha ha. I can think of a few ways, but they're NC-17 rated, and Lana would have no part in such shenanigans. That's why she gets tossed thirty feet into some stained glass.

How does Clark get out of the Phantom Zone?

Possibilities:

The Harlem Globetrotters and Leela use the Gravity Pump to free him so that Fry can get his jacket back.

Even the Phantom Zone realizes that Clark is ment2B with Lana and just lets him go.

Clark requests to be let out "just for a hair cut, honest!" then doesn't come back. Sucker!

And the semiserious speculation:

Lion-El fiddles with some new ice dildoes and sets him free.

Zod unleashes some weapons meant to destroy earth but oops accidentally busts Clark out with them.

Clark finds he's not alone in there and whoever or whatever is in there conveniently helps him escape. Maybe the DUHciples are in there and they're so pissed at being ignored by Brainiac that they help Clark.

Serious response:

Clark finds himself in the Phantom Zone, which is actually an elaborate cave-like set piece. Peter O'Toole helps him climb out and he magically spins back to Earth. (Supergirl reference in the hizz-ouse!)

Silly response:

Dr. Evil, furious that he was unable to secure a couple of sharks with frickin' laser beams, becomes enraged that Zod is able to use robots with laser-beam hearts to blast his way through the city, and promptly flies into space to save Clark and set him free.

...but only for one million dollars.



Heh. BadToad, see my response in the new "Zod" thread about "Queen Zod" and his bitchy fashion requirements.

So wait now, unless my memory is faulty...in the Superman2 movie, didn't Zod and the Zodettes get out b/c of a nuclear explosion that Superman sent hurtling into space. Yes? No? I could totally have my movies mixed up. But lets say I'm not having an acid flashback. Didn't Clark send a nuclear warhead hurtling into space in Hidden? So, could we be looking at a steal from the movie? (b/c God knows, AlMiles would never steal from a movie).

But Cyb, I really liked the one about the haircut :)

Or perhaps the P-Zone is so repulsed by THRJ that he spits Clark out with the admonishment "For Zod's Sake, Members Only jackets went out with parachute pants and earth shoes".

Hello! Totally forgot about that!!! What a way to tie the movies together. Maybe Chloe and Lionel won't come to the rescue... maybe Clark "flies back to" Chloe and saves her, ala Fever letter!

Good call!

He did, but it exploded soon after he tore it out of the missile. Although I wouldn't be surprised if another nuke somehow ends up in space. Like maybe one of the missile silo computers gets infected and randomly shoots a nuke into space.
But I'm thinking what will happen is at the beginning of the premiere they'll show Lionel being beaten up when his eyes turn milky-white and becomes possessed by Jor-El again. He'll have the same power he had in Hidden, so he'll save Chloe, drop her off somewhere safe (or maybe bring her along to the Fortress), and just like Cyb said, he'll fiddle with some crystals and *poof* Clark will be free.

That'll be the weapon that Zod tries to destroy humanity with! But either he'll be foiled by convenient incompetence or Queen Squirrelana will have an attack of conscience and direct the nuke into outer space where it conveniently frees Clark. And conveniently destroys his clothing along with the Phantom Zone.

I tell you, if Lana and Zod work together for any amount of time, they need to change the opening song from "Save Me" to the theme from Pinky and the Brain. With slight edits. "They're Pinky and the Brain... Pinky and the Brain. One is an alien, the other's a pain."

Sorry wrong thread...

One option I wouldn't mind would be for Clark to encounter a Kryptonian verision of Edgar from "Transference." Clark will probably be busted out from without (Jor-El and the "gang" (Lionel, Chloe), but I'd like to see him get out on his own with perhaps a new power or two in tow. And I'd love to see Clark meet all manner of riff-raff in the Zone first.

Someone please hold me, I just had a horrible thought.

What if, Chloe is seriously hurt in the fracas. I mean, Lion-El rescues her and all, but she is seriously hurt - which will make legwork difficult in the future. She will still be able to hack and exposit, but for legwork, cousin Lois will come to the rescue. As Lois starts helping Chloe in the DP, people begin to notice "her journalistic skills", even though Chloe is still doing all the brainwork. In the meanwhile, Clark and Lois, while scoobying, are drawn closer together, but don't want to act on it because it will make Chloe will feel bad.

This is just awful fanfic right? I shouldn't even have this here right, in case any SV writers come across it? This is really bad fanfic which will never come to pass, right? Right?

Right.

::shudders at the thought::

I don't think they'd do that, it just isn't nice for Chloe. That said, I'm all for them coming up with a reason to have Lois and Clark doing some more scoobying together. It'd be a start for making her a better character on the show.

I find it hard to think of a way to get Clark and Lois to start working together without taking smoething away from Chloe. I don't know. We'll see.

If there's one thing to remember about Smallville, it's now matter how intense their season finales are written, by the end of the season premiere everything returns to the status quo. (Wise, wise words from Fry.) So I'm not that worried about Lois taking over Chloe's reporter role or anything like that...at least not until later next season in a single episode which will end exactly the same as every other episode.

As for how Clark gets out, I was wondering that too. I hope it's satisfying. I don't want Lionel's eyes to glow, Clark breaks free from the Phantom Zone and saves the day. With Chloe in danger, I wonder who else is there. I know it will involve them going to the FoS but with everyone so many hours away from Smallville, there needs to be a better reason.

Joke answers:
1) The Starbabies use Phanton Zone Clark as a toy.
2) The Tick crashes through it while falling through space.

Every time I see that episode of Futurama, I think of Smallville.

I'm not worried about Lois taking over Chloe's job, either. I mean, look at how messed up Lex was in Covenant/Crusade, but then after that he's totally ok. His nipple cure happens via a Verizon text message in Offscreenville. I think the longest they've changed the status quo was when Lionel was locked up in prison. But even being in prison didn't really change his role in the show.

I think Lois will either be stuck as Chief of Staff until such time as Martha is no longer senator, or (and this option is my personal favorite) they'll write her out for the season. She'll go to college in Offscreenville or join the military or become Queen of the Penguins. I'm not picky.

But it'd be a good opportunity to get Clark into journalism. Say some of the DP staff ran off with the riots and never came back. He could go to work with Chloe there part time. It's not like he has college or a job to get in the way and they don't seem to be trying to run a profitable farm anymore.

:::snort::: Since when do they care to be nice to Chloe? They write it so that not even her dad wants to see her on Christmas.



They own a farm? Do tell!

Okay, I just had another idea, only unfortunately I don't think it will come to pass. I'm still putting it out there, and not in the Wishlist thread, because I think it fits better in the speculation thread.

Now, Zod said that Lex was dead, but that is not obviously the case right? We've been talking about Chloe and Lion-El teaming up to free Clark from the Phantom Zone. Now, I was thinking perhaps the laser nonsense was sort of a transference deal, in the sense that Lex's soul went to the PZ while Zod's came into his body. While Clark is in the PZ, he meets Lex, and the two of them team up to find a solution to the problem. And perhaps the two together find a way to come back and save the world, but for their own reasons.

Lex would of course, like to retain his superpowered body, but something subsequently happens to make him lose all his powers (maybe Fine is sent to the PZ, taking the effects of the serum with him). And he is of course mindwiped. This is also make Lex's final turn to the dark side even more poignant, as we will see that Lex, too, is capable of saving the world, he too could have been a hero. Making it more of a tragedy.

But as I said, chances of it happening are miniscule.

I like that, Romantic.

Hmm... what if Lex's soul thingie was transferred to the PZ way back when he was on the ship in that body condom we only saw in the promos? What came back from the ship was just a shell with some Essence Of Fine in it. That'd make his pissy chat about Clana in the barn a lot easier to swallow. He's just essentially another Fine, goading Clark into poking him with his Krypto Rod.

I have to admit I'm actually slightly interested to see how Lana reacts to finding out her new boyfriend is a dictatorial alien monster. Not so much because I'm interested in Lana, but because I want to see her live with her mistake for a while. It won't last long, of course, and everyone around her will just pat her on the back and comfort her, but I hope for a little while she gets to live with the "oh shit" knowledge of what she's chosen. SDK kind of shrugged it off as the same kind of mistake that any young person makes in a relationship, and I think that's just... No. I dated some jerks in my youth, but none of them were planet-destroying generals.

What I'm wondering, and kind of hoping, is if the un-Zodified Lex (because, for sure, he's going to be un-Zodified and back to normal to some degree eventually) actually appears to be the one that saves the day. Terribly injured and no longer super, the now non-Zod Lex announces that he, in an attempt to save the world from evol aliens, created a virus/antidote yadda yadda, but that the aliens were temporarily able to enter the world and cause the havoc we have just seen. Luckily, he managed to ... somehow... eject Zod back to the PZ - at terrible terrible physical cost to himself. Ideally this could be sorta kinda true if you stretched the reality of it all and left out whatever Clark has done - which of course must remain secret to keep Clark out of the limelight. A point Lex would deliberately make to Clark. I think he should continue to know the truth and use it as a bargaining chip when it suits.

Everyone in the world stops hating Lex and starts thinking he is totally wonderful, honest and brave, preparing the way for him to be voted in as President. But unfortunately, Lex is not actually all that wonderful at all - not least because having once had a taste of those superpowers, I think he could and would spend the rest of his life trying to get them back. At any cost.

It's important that the general populace start liking Lex enough to hand him power on a platter eventually. Soon it should be that only Clark, Chloe, Lois and Martha, and a few scattered minions, know the truth about Lex's dangerous obsessions.

I don't want to include Lion-El in the ranks of the Scoobs because... I just don't.

Who else here envisions a season 6 full of Lana whining that Lex abandoned her because of Zod? *shudders*

Hoping that we learn part of the reason the super-vaccine was so essential was to protect Zex from the nasty virus released by Fine that made everyone panic and riot in no time flat. That's probably too much to hope for, but at least I'll be able to fanwank it for a few months.

Also hoping to learn that Lionel's strange behavior wrt Lex this season is the result of Jor-el trying to prod Lex into revealing his true nature. Otherwise, how else to explain his weird behavior, especially the strange passove=aggressive "Are you OK, son? You've made a deal with the devil and I can't help you any more" speech in the field just before Lex turns him into window splatter.

Speculations about Season 6:

Clark has a heart to heart talk with his brain in the Phantom Zone.

Clark's Brain: Clark, this is your mind speaking.
Clark: Oh. Hello.
Clark's Brain: Sorry I haven't been around much lately but I'm easily distracted by shiny objects.



The Phantom Zone falls into a gianormous plot hole and crashes in an amusement park fun house. Clark spends three months trying to find his way out, and is distracted before stopping for the pie eating contest.



Yes, Clark, he was a alien monster bent on world domination who tortured and killed millions, but he was honest with me.

Dread, I love you because you too think of Clark as the Tick. That is my all time favorite episode too.

My S6 Outline :

The Overall Season arc :

After Zod and Lex are detatched in the premiere, Lex still remembers everything about Clark. However, he pretends to know nothing to get closer to Clark. Brainiac and Lex are now in unison over getting Clark out of the way and spend the season preparing for the second coming of Zod to take over Clark. I would prefer Zod himself, but since they have gone the spirit route now, it is the next best thing. Lionel continues to be a vessel for Jor-El. He also becomes a double agent working his way back into Luthorcorp to feed Clark secrets about Lex and regain control of his company.

In regards to Clark

- A new power: Clark discovers his ability to fly when saving Martha and Lois on the plane in the premiere. The season is spent showing Clark gradually master his ability to fly and get over his fear of heights/flying.
- An interest in journalism. Maybe a journalism 101 class if he goes back to college
- More time in the FOS with Jor-El getting closer to Jor-El and training
- More confidence and acceptance of himself

In regards to Lex

- A lot more evil development
- The re-opening of Level 33.1 which re-introduces Lucas back into the picture to help him run it. This is used to build an army of FOTW's to prepare for the final battle.
- Pretends to get closer to Clark, playing the "I don't remember anything angle. Lex is the type of guy to keep an enemy closer.
- Kills off Lionel mid season when he learns of his father's betrayal and frames Lucas for the murder. Then he finally becomes the sole Luthor on the show. The company name is now changed to Lexcorp.

The rest of the cast :

Lana :

- Lana stays with Lex but begins to be pushed away by what Lex has become
- Eventually becomes closer to Clark in a friends only capacity. No romance.
- She eventually learns the secret.

Chloe :

- Continues to work at the DP and is given a promotion. Ability to cover higher profile stories.
- Character wise, she is scaled back just a bit. I want the Chloe from the earlier seasons back before she became a novelty item. She is used to constantly save the day now.
- In a season long romantic relationship with Clark

Lois

- For her to find more of a purpose in life.
- Start showing slight interests in journalism
- To form a stronger bond with Clark in a friendship capacity. No more brother/sister spats.

Lionel

- Remains the vessel of Jor-El
- Develops a much closer relationship with Martha
- Sets out to regain control of Luthorcorp and help Clark in the process by serving as a double agent
- Is only around for the first half of the season. Is eventually killed off by Lex for helping his enemy (Clark)

Martha

- Continues to be senator
- Begins to develop feelings for Lionel