Oh, silly Al! It didn't get dragged out over four episodes! It got dragged out over four seasons! Lana and Clark have called it off how many times since Red? And didn't they spend like half of season 3 breaking up after Clark got back from his Rentboy Summer?

But I agree with BadToad that it's crass of him to piss on the Clana so much. Not to mention dumb. I mean, it's more or less his creation, isn't it? It didn't just spring forth fully formed on the screen. I know Clark and Lana, and to some degree Clana, existed before, but he's the one who spearheaded this painfully boring incarnation of it, so he has no one to blame for it but himself and a select few DOMOS. It almost makes me think the crackmonkey doth protest too much. Just watch, they'll bring back Clana full force next year!

And see, it sounds like he's saying they forgot that Clark and Lana broke up in Reckoning. It "got away" from them. Their big time, highly pimped 100th episode, and they couldn't remember what happened in it long enough to keep continuity in the next episode? Plus, I think if Clana were dead forever, they would have found a more final way of breaking them up. Having time reversals or Lex involved in their breakup just gives them an "out" later. It can always dawn on Clark down the road that, "Hey yeah... Lana wasn't killed by my secret!" and then occur to Lana that, "Hey, maybe Clark and I could have lived with our thecreth and lieth if not for Lex's meddling!"

The only way to finally put an end to Clana is to have them actually outgrow each other. No more pining. No more moon eyes. No mutants or magic. Just realizing like two adults that they don't really want to be with each other, the end.

And ya see, thats why they should've let it stick in Reckoning. It wouldn't be exactly what you are talking about, but it comes a helluva lot closer. Once the time reversal is done, Clark makes the decision he isn't going to tell her again, isn't going to propose. At this point, he should know its over. And when Lana realizes that some big revelation isn't coming, she realizes that she needs a break from this relationship. It won't ever change. He isn't going to open up and trust her. It is finished, but with a bit of the bittersweet to it, since its not done amongst Hypno-Ho's, and "I don't love you's". In the next episode, have Lana offer her friendship to support the Kents, but have Clark continue to keep up that wall. And it gives Lana more time to grow closer to Lex, so it doesn't appear that she rebounded faster then Shaq off a backboard. You get 3 more episodes for Lexana development (*gag*), and 3 more episodes to distance Clark from it.

Really, how did these crackmonkeys fuck up something so obviously in front of their faces? It makes Lana going to Lex in Tomb make more sense as well. And then have Lana defending Lex in Cyborg be what creates animosity between her and Clark.

I don't know, it just makes no sense to me.



So much WORD Dread. At this point, I don't know what more he's supposed to be learning from constantly getting kicked in the gut. Aren't we supposed to be seeing a reason for him to love and embrace humanity to such a degree that he devotes his life to protecting it? To get there, we need to get a bit more positive affirmation going on. IMO

The problem is the only 'drama' AlMiles seem to know how to write is angst. It's the same thing with Lex never winning. Because they're doing a 'dramatic' show, they don't understand how levity or even niceness can help the drama so they revert back to their fall back which is making angst. Smallville is a very miserable show on oh-so-many levels. I really feel by now Clark should be getting happy being able to use his powers, not still burdening us with his [whine]I can hurt Wana!!! Wahhhhhh!!![/whine] speeches.

And because these characters still do these pathetic angst-ridden moments, it's part of why no one believes any of these people have grown up. In 5 years, has Clark really shown any growth? But if he starts to grow, he'll start to be less angsty and then they'll feel as if they've run out of things to do.

Seriously, it's such a huge problem not just on Smallville but a lot of TV. What the fuck is up with angst? When did that become "in?" I mean in some shows it fits, like Angel (who at least mocked the brooding from time to time), but in other shows it just feels like such a pathetic, hackneyed excuse for 'drama.'

Just one more comment from Al that I glommed off another message board. I had to post this to see if the 10 was pinging on the creepy factor only for me.

Al Gough: He'll (Tom Welling) be directing another one in S6. But it was weird to see him directing the kiss between Lex and Lana. I actually emailed MR and I said, 'Was it weird having Lana's ex-boyfriend direct that scene?' And he said no, it wasn't weird at all."

OK, the part about TW directing isn't the creepy part. And BTW, good for Tom.

But he emailed MR to find out if it was strange to have Lana's ex-boyfriend direct? He does realize they are actors, right? And the person directing was Tom Welling, the actor that plays the ex-boyfriend of the fictional character of Lana, who is also played by an actor? B/c honestly, doesn't seem like he's making those connections.

ETA: Oh hell, while I'm stealing the quotes from other boards anyhow, here's another Al

Al Gough: Clark and Lana are dead, that is over. Now it's Lex and Lana. Next year, a lot of it will be the lies of Lex Luthor and really seeing Lex embrace his destiny. What effect does that have on the people around him? People like Lana? And even Martha, with her senate seat? Are they beyond being corrupted by power and by the Luthor influence--Lex and Lionel--in their lives? How will Clark deal with that? I think it's definately going to be a big season, and certainly for Clark it'll be the season that will try his soul.



Probably something along the lines of "I work for fuckwits. Tom, come over here and look at what Fuckwit #1 sent me".

You have to wonder what MR's reaction was when first looking at that e-mail. He must have done a double take, confused, he had to be WTF when looking at that question. How could anyone take it seriously?

Woah..me thinks Al Gough needs a large does of reality...

I actually dont think that he realizes they are actors and that Tom and Kristin arent really soulmates 4eva.....


I wonder how many times he has accidentally addressed her as Lana...or asked her how her aunt Nell was doing.....yikes!!

I wish he'd written back, "No, it wasn't weird at all, because Lana's ex-boyfriend wasn't directing the scene. The scene was directed by Tom Welling, my friend and fellow actor who is a real person, and I think we both know that real people cannot date fictional characters. Also, how did you get my email address?"

OMG!! rofl....hahaha

He probably did but Gough was alitle *ahem* embarrassed to tell the whole truth....lol

or maybe in Gough heard :"oh man....that was weird...poor Clark...I mean Tom..uh I mean....ummm who am I again? And why is Lana so damn awesome!!

Well, then, there's only one solution. We must kill Avril Lavigne. Now, now... I know killing ain't easy, but don't argue -- it's for the good of mankind.



I think we should praise how good everyone looked this season. I mean, doughy Welling aside -- production values kicked ass this season. Yay, technical crew!



You know, when I see quotes like that, that's when I lend creedance to the "The Suits Made Us Do It!" excuse. Because in my heart of hearts, I cannot honestly believe that AlMiles are this awful. I just don't want to. There's still some good in them yet! I have to believe! Doe eyes... and we're out.

I have some predictions that are more than likely not going to happen and are more optimistic than cynical, so I'm going to go post them in the Wishlist thread.

I speculate that next year, MR will get a new email address and TW will get a special shirt to wear while directing. It will say on the front in big block letters: "I AM TOM WELLING!" On the back, it will say: "READ THE FRONT, AL!"

Now, see, once upon a time, I might have been excited by this. But now, I can't help but interpret it as: "The poor, trusting, goodhearted women will be corrupted by big evil men!" That's what Bound did to me, Al! I no longer trust your take on men, women, and the influence between them!

Hee. It's so creppy and ridiculous that I had to laugh. And that definitely hit number ten on the creepy factor. I am glad to see that Tom is directing again. Yay!

TW: The hell? Does he realize that I'm a real person, and Clark is fictional?

MR: Dude, he thinks you and KK are together and her name is Lana.

TW: At least he doesn't have my e-mail address.



Really. And they made Lana look like a bad girlfriend for not confiding in Clark.

Cyb, the t-shirt idea is excellent.

Sadly, we are over-reaching on this email thing. Al didn't really think it was "weird" at all. He just wanted an excuse to try and get MR, the world's most blabbermouthy man, to tell him what kissing Kristin was like. Al probably has a massive boycrush on MR as well, so the thought of them kissing each other throws the switches of all his deepest, most forbidden, and therefore most anxiety-provoking desires.

I think it's even creepier that way, myself.

LMAO! Too funny!

Seriously, is it only Al who makes these really dumb and creeptastic statements? Does Miles even speak at all? Am I doing him an injustice by constantly referring to both of them as one person? I hope not, because 'AlMiles' is just so fun to type!

The boards are being wonky. Apologies if this turns out to be a double post.



No. They're the Penn & Teller of television writers. Miles just mimes things: "What's that, Miles? You want me to put another Clana scene in this episode? How about a barn scene? Why are you choking me?"

The only thing I specifically remember Miles saying by himself was about how Lex and Lana's romance would trigger Clark's jealousy and anger and make him declare Lex his arch-enemy. And the only reason I reason I remember that is because I thought it was Gough until someone posted the exact quote. Or maybe it really was Gough and like booberella suggests, Miles was just miming! Gough, you crafty ventriloquist, you.

You know, I was always surprised they didn't come up with a way to have Isobel and Lana kissing, like in a dream or something.

I feel a little bad for SDK writing the premier. Just a little. A very little. It seems like when the finale is written, they don't know how they're going to get out of it and just leave it to the next writer. Didn't they even admit something like that, for both the S4 and S5 finales? Anyway, he's the one who has to figure out how to get Clark out of the P'Zone (wasn't there a Pizza Hut sandwich called that?), how to rescue Martha and Lois, how to get Chloe and Lionel's bacon out of the fire, and reveal that one of the viruses that Fine protected Lex from was the Lana Cooties.

What makes this seem especially bad to me is that, going by the Red and Rosetta commentaries, TW is the actor that seems to have the biggest problem with being addressed as his character. He kept saying tings like, "I didn't....Clark...." And when Beeman asked KK if she was jealous, TW asked "Were you jealous, or was Lana jealous?" It just seemed to be a bit of an issue for him, so the fact that years later TPTB are still doing that just seems rude.

Aw, it's not that hard to resolve loose plot threads when you use Smallville logic. See, I'll give it a shot.



Okay... he'll show up just in time to save the day, and if anyone asks... a wizard set him free.



Gonna have to go with a wizard on this one too...



Chloe? Who is the Chloe you speak of?



The criminals are tranfixed by his magnificent hypnotic hair and fall under his thrall.

The final two episodes of Justice League Unlimited had a very useful character called Metron, I don't know anything about him or what his function in the DCU is, but maybe TPTB can just have him come to Metropolis and tell everybody what they need to do to fix everything.

Since I'm a big 'ol quote stealer, and since we were talking about quotes from the latest SV magazine, I found this one from KK that I thought might interest you folks

"A part of me feels, and I don't know if this is true or where it is going, that she could never really love Lex, and that is why she can be in a relationship with Lex. He's not capable of hurting her. She fully loved Clark, Jason, and Whitney. She loved those people. She can care about Lex and want the best for him, but I don't think she could fall blindly in love with him. If you look at Lexmas, Lana is capable of loving him, but he chose a path where she can't. If he had chosen the path of good, Lana would have been able to fall head over heels in love with Lex, but he didn't choose that one."

I actually like some of KK's quote since I see Lexana less a relationship of love but a relationship playing on both of their unhealthinesses and desires. I think if Lex "loves" Lana it's because he idolizes her, what she is, and that he feels he can actually have an upper hand in the relationship for the first time in his life without being malevolent or sadistic about it. Lana is with Lex because both of them have had problems with Clark in the past and she feels she can open him to him, he's very comforting and rich.

And to be honest, I'm happy people acknowledging relationships not based on true love but various other complex emotions.

EDIT: As for her not loving him because he's "bad," that's ridiculous. As many have said, Lana seems a lot happier when she's in the darkness.

Interesting. So KK also sees Lana as good and upright and incapable of doing bad things, and incapable of loving bad men? Of course, Jason turned out to be seriously bad, but I suppose all that proves is that Lana has terminally poor judgment. Still, I don't read Lana's character the way KK and the producers seem to. I don't see her as all that nice, personally. And I think she just might enjoy going over to the dark side:-).



And poor Lana... why is it that they can't write her character as anything but the Ideal Woman? Clark worships her, Lex worships her, but no one actually TALKS to her. This is another reason why walking the dark path might help develop her character a little... to force those writers to figure out what really drives her, instead of always portraying her as ideal and flawless.

It really is. I've never seen a show where they have such a hard time separating characters from the actors.

I really like what I read of KK and I appreciate that she seems to have put more thought into her character than most of the DOMOS. But honestly I don't think Lana's loved any of her boyfriends. However, I speculate that Lex will hurt her very badly, whether she truly loves him or not. I further speculate that when it happens, she will make a teary-eyed speech about how much she loved him and how could he do this to her and so on.

I just imagine every once in awhile AlMiles aiming a gun at MR, as if they were going to stop a young Hitler, and Tom having to take it away and tell them "For the last time, he's not going to kill millions! God damn it!" Stupid KK/Lana adoration has spread to everyone.

She'll make this ridiculous speech when and if she learns that Lex was possessed by Zod.

Followed by a speech to Clark about how could he abandon her when she needed him.

Although, I think she could also make one of her famous "fishing for reassurance" phony apologies.

"Clark, I know I haven't been a good friend..."
Translation: This is where you correct me and put all the blame on yourself.

"...I should have seen how bad Lex really was..."
Translation: This is where you tell me that Lex is a master manipulator and not even someone with my amazing squirrelly insights could have seen this coming.

"...and now I'm all alone again."
Translation: I'm holding auditions for my next boyfriend.

I'd much rather Clark and Chloe just leave her twisting in the wind, but they're too damn sympathetic for their own good. They'll end up saving the royal rodent's butt and wondering if they could have done anything more.

Isn't Clark going to go to college? If he does I wonder if his college girlfriend Lori Lemaris will show up?

Same with Chloe, like Lois/Supermen has been a 68 year love affair so to speak ,and I can not see Smallville even being allowed to change the fact that Lois and Clark/Superman end up together.

I know this series is not superman canon and is considered an alternate reality (since they changed so so much of the real mytho's) but would they really change things that much?

Someone named Lori Lemaris could very well show up, but fat chance it's the actual Lori. Secret mermaids in wheelchairs: TOO COMIC BOOK-Y!

I have to say that following the course they have created by changing much of the cannon makes more sense to me than veering in a direction that doesn't grow from who the characters of Smallville are and what their actions have dictated. Since this is an alternate reality and there is no way to reconcile this vision of Clark Kent with the movie one, why not keep going? If cannon hadn't already established one path, would any viewers of Smallville really accept it as likely?

Also, won't all the changes in cannon that Smallville has set become another aspect to consider in future cannon?

Not if I were writing the episodes..folding arms in a childlike pout I have it ALL worked out in my...oops. wrong thread. I'd get rid of the dumb red jacket too...oops...I did it again.

I'm torn between two speculations: Earlier I felt that Lana would remain completely oblivious about Zod. Now I'm wondering if she'll find out, and the writers will use it as a way to get Clana back on semi-good terms.

Picture this, if your stomach dares:

Lana finally figures out that Lex isn't entirely Lex. She almost reaches him with her Squirrelly Love of Pureness and Light, but Zod flings her away. She goes to Clark and although she doesn't admit she was wrong to accuse him of being a murderer in the first place, she passive-aggressively lets him know that if he wants to kill Lex now, it'd be fine with her. In a replay of her Commencement simpering, she even tells him something like, "I somehow know you're the only one who can stop him, and you don't even have to tell me how you plan to stop him. I will be willfully ignorant and I won't hold it against you until later!"

Then Clark stops Zod and exorcises him from Lex. Perhaps he tricks him into putting on some burlap underwear. In order to escape the itching, Zod flees to the Phantom Zone again, leaving Lex a shaken, hollow shell.

Lana rushes up just in time to see him collapse and goes running to him like a tree-dwelling rodent to a free walnut. She exchanges "meaningful" glances with Clark and says "Lex needs me." Translation: "You can go now,but feel free to consider yourself my backup boyfriend while I pull this loving martyr girlfriend act with Lex!"

It's just too easy to imagine!

I don't think you're going to have to worry about Clana getting back on good terms anytime soon. One of the things they made sure to include in the S6 synopsis is that the gap between Lana and Clark widens with her getting more involved with Lex. But even putting that aside, I don't think there's any way they'll pass up the chance to have Lana snipe at Clark every time she bumps into him, for at least the first 8 eps approx. Maybe more. The writers of this show love that shit, without ever stopping to think how badly that reflects on Lana considering how many times Clark has saved her worthless butt. No, I think its safe to assume that AlMiles will get their thrills by having Lana tear into Clark at least half a dozen times while he never is permitted to snipe back. I could write the lines now "How dare you say Lex is performing illegal experiments, he's been totally honest with me, unlike you." Practically writes itself. JMHO

I'm just hoping they don't go with the power of Lana's goodness helps to thwart Zod, b/c that? The Suck!

I hate to think Lana is the reason Lex and Clark become sworn enemies at the end of the show. *shudder*

Oh no, I totally agree that's what's going to happen. But I also think that they're going to try to have their cake and eat it, too. So the Clana gap will widen, but they'll also be on better terms than they were in Vessel, because I don't think TIIC will be able to resist being able to make Clark into Lana's backup boyfriend on some level. So there'll be moony eyes and alt-emo-crap as she drifts further away from him. Not unlike his relationship with her at the end of S1 as she martyred herself to be with Whitney, except much, much crappier.

In other words, I think they're totally going to sacrifice any chance at character continuity and development. It's like... you know how last season, Lana said it would be ok for them to take it slow? Then the next episode she's putting pressure on him again and getting pissed when he doesn't give in? It made her look insincere and inconsistent, which wasn't the writers' intention. But they need her to be understanding and sweet for one episode, so she is, then in the next episode they need Drama and Angst, so she just forgets whatever she said the week before.

That's basically what I think they're going to do, if they don't go the outright Oblivious Lana route. She'll seem just understanding enough to make Clark think she's not beyond hope, but will still lash out at him like he's a bad puppy who peed on her favorite shoes. In Clana terms, that's semi-good terms.

The problem isn't Clana getting back on good terms. The problem is Clana-pining still existing (esp. from the Clark end) while they're on bad terms. I'd rather them be on friendly terms than "Lana will always hate me because she doesn't know about me!! WAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

There's been a lot of talk about how ED is being promoted as a way to bring in more viewers in on the coattails of SR plus a little bit of snark about how instead they should try to bring in PotC fans instead. It got me thinking about a third summer movie franchise of relative success containing the Goughlar's favorite thing in the world. (OK, second favorite, but Lana doesn't exist in the Marvel Universe so what are you going to do?) And it got me headed down a very scary path of thinking...

Green Arrow, a bad boy outsider comes to town and dons a black leather costume (How the hell the Green Arrow ends up in a black costume I just don't want to know. I'm hoping it's really just dark green and my monitor calibration is off). He falls for the girl currently attached to a pissy boy scout type. All sorts of bad story telling ensue.

Green Arrow = Wolverine/ Lois = Jean Grey/ Clark = Cyclops?

You know what? If they want to turn Lois into a psychotic killing maching with little to no dialogue, I am good with that. And if they want to kill off Clark in the very beginning of the season, I think I'm good with that too. I think then I would be able to stop watching. Finally.

But that just gets me thinking that Jimmy = Iceman (probably because of the Ashmore connection) so would that make Chloe = Kitty or Rogue?

You know as much as I am bitter about Smallville, I guess I should be happy that it doesn't fill me with as much rage as X3 did, or PotC2 for that matter.

Lana would definately be Rogue since she sucks the life out of everything she touches.


Hee. PotC2 just filled me with bordem. I kept wonding, "when is this damn thing going to be over?".

I was thinking they'd copy the triangle circa X1/X2 rather than X3 but psycho killer Lois might be cool. I guess.

Even X2 took Cyclops out of the story for about 80% of the movie, and then they had Wolverine step all over his big emotional scene at the end. Anyway, I think that BadToad would agree that if the show's promotion and spoilers are to be any indication, this season will be more about Green Arrow than Clark.

Maybe season 6 will be X2 ans season 7 will be X3. Lois dies at the end of this season and comes back as a psycho killer next season. Then Green Arrow has to kill her, but gets his own show.

Now I am associating Clark with Cyclops and feeling all sorts of indignant on is behalf

I predict a musical Smallville episode. I don't see how that's not in the works.

Perhaps they know that if they did a musical episode there would be no way the could claim that they donn't rip off Whedon every chance they get. Or maybe, for all their faults, they do realize that they are no Whedon and could never pull it off.

Don't be ridiculous, Booberella, a musical episode is way too comic booky. ;)

But since last year Lexmas gave us a loose rip off of "A Christmas Carol" I'm hoping for a Clark centered rip off of "It's a Wonderful Life" for the holidays this year. Maybe it would even be enough to get the BDA off his mopey butt! Or Not. It'd still be kind of a cool episode if Clark could see just how different life in Smallville would have been if he had never come to Earth.

Free of kryptofreaks?

I would however love some confirmation that even if her parents had lived, Lana would still be miserable because she makes herself that way.

Sure. Lex would be dead. Miserable!Lana and WifeBeater!Whitney would be teenage parents. HornDog!Johnathon would be married to Alcoholic!Nell but philandering whenever possible. HipHopStar!Pete would be dating FashionModel!Lois. FrigidTrophyWife!Martha would be married to MagnificentBastard!Lionel and PureEvil!Chloe would be... helping her dad run LuthorCorp. :)

And all the kryptofreaks would be dead anyway because they were unstable personalities to begin with.

6.9: "Lexmas II: The Clarkening"

Seriously, though, I would be on board with that idea. Especially if the town looks all happy and normal and stuff on the surface, but the people he loves most are just lost without him.

---Ma and Pa Kent are sad and lonely (hey, they'd have an excuse to bring back JS!).
---The entire town is dependant on Lionel Luthor enterprises, and Lionel Luthor runs unchecked.
---Chloe works at a grocery store, is engaged to someone she's not that into, and spends rare moments scribbling into a notebook that she never shows to anyone.
---Lana is dating Pete and constantly fighting with her parents, because they're bigots.
---Lois is absent, but we hear from Chloe that she's living it up in Metropolis, and never comes to see her.
---And Lex... is not evol. Or good. He's just kinda meh... flitting around aimlessly, like he knows there's something missing from his life, but he can't figure out what it is....

ETA: jwm, I like your options too!!!

If we do alternate universe stories, I’d rather see a darker episode that explored the idea of “What if Lionel had found and adopted Clark instead of the Kents?”

Why do things turn out good for them?

Ah but would Lionel have gotten a foothold in Smallville if the Kents didn't owe him for Clark's adoption papers?

Sure there could be. They could remake Onyx as The Phantom of the Opera now that Lana is apparently living in the mansion. "Keep Your Hand At the Level Of Your HoYay!"

If they did a musical episode then it would be the first episode of Smallville that I purposefully don't watch. Having a musical Buffy episode is one thing, having a musical Smallville is completely different. You would never be able to take this show seriously again. I mean I know it's not taken seriously all that much as it is, but seeing Superman singing to Lex, while good for fan fic, would be horrible for the show.

While the Buffy Musical remains one of my most favourite and beloved hours of television ever, I agree that the concept just doesn't seem to mesh with Smallville.



But I love these ideas!