The ten best lines of SV

1. Chloe: You're the cunning linguist, translate this: Kiss. My. Ass.

2. Lex: Our friendship will be the stuff of legend.

3. Lex: Keep your friends close, and the quarterback closer.

4. Lex: I plan on being great all by myself.

5. Greg: Sometimes you're the windshield, and sometimes you're the bug.

6. Lionel: *To Helen* Oh my. I've antagonized the lady of the house.

7. Clark: Go to your room, Lionel.

8. Clark: Clark Kent and Lex Luthor; I like the sound of that.

9. Lex: *to Helen* I guess you had to be there.

10. Perry: Memories may fade, but a google search never forgets.

runner up: Clark: *to Lana* This will never work.

The ten worst lines of SV

1. Clark: Your silence is deafening

2. Lana: The hospital? That sounds serious.

3. Pete: I'd rather be DJ than decoy.

4. Lana: A relationship built on thecreths and lieth is doomed to fail.

5. Bo: The cows won't milk themselves, Clark.

6. Clark: I may have lost my sight but things are becoming a lot clearer.

7.The Super Bro Bros.: Be the truck! Be the truck!

8. Clark: *to Darius* Tell whoever answers to be at the Smallville Stables by noon with a bag full of Benjamins or I go to the cops.

9. Lana: Clark, are you stalking me?

10. Lana: *after Lex says 'looks like we've been abandoned'* Story of my life.

runner up: Lana: Clark, hold me!

I'm sure I've forgotten some choice gems and cheese anvil pies.
Add your own.

My choices for best lines are usually for delivery rather than writing, like Lionel's "Miss Hard. Wick" in Shimmer or Lex's "Forgot my keys" in Suspect.

It's easier to pick the worst lines. All of the Wall Around My Pants speech is just horrible in every way. It's like a combination of "Next on This Old House, we teach you how to build a wall and fortify it so that it's impenetrable" and the worst romance novel dialogue.

Another bad one: "I think the operative word is gulp!" Clark to Lana in Nicodemus.

Wall around my pants just made me think of Pink Floyd.

"Tear down the wall, tear down the wall!"
Free dillo!

I think it's sad that the Smallville scenes of the movie 'Superman' were more compelling than the entire series of SV has been so far...

We see glimpses of greatness, but then get shovelsful of Lana, who, as has been mentioned, should be more of a side character. I liked the Lana in 'Superman', even though she only had about three lines. You could totally see what Clark saw in her (demure, small-town cutie) and yet even when she bowed to peer pressure you didn't want to strangle her by her hair. She made an appearance, showed that she was the object of Clark's affection (a high-school crush, not a years-long obsession), then rode into oblivion with the other cheerleaders.

And the guy who played young Clark in the movie was waaaay more compelling than our latest edition. When he kicked the football across the field after getting left behind, you saw his frustration and anger. I watched an interview with Tom Welling some time back, and he said he didn't want to be influenced by the other actors' portrayal. Not a good idea, especially when you're new to acting and the last guy to play the part did more in five minutes than you've done in 2 1/2 years.

The writers should realize that even though the show is aimed at teenagers, it deals with a character that everybody has grown up with. Our grandparents listened to it on the radio, our parents watched George Reeves, we saw the movies with (the consumate Superman) Christopher Reeve. SV is a potentially worthy follow-up to the myth-onscreen, unlike 'Lois & Clark', which suffered because Dean Cain was too rico suave and the tension dissipated once he and Lois got married. Among other things.

Nice post, but a bit too critical of Welling. Sometimes his acting is good, sometimes it's crappy. I think he does a very good job as Kal and he's usually good when paired with a good actor (MR, JG, AM), but his performance suffers in Clana scenes. Stupid dialogue like that seen (heard?) in Whisper doesnt help matters.

I like MR's Lex a lot more than Hackman's. Hackman did a good job but I wished he'd made the effort to look more like Lex and shave his head. And of course GH isn't a very sexy actor, and i dont even have to mention how good looking MR is. I'm not very familiar with Lois and Clark, but I didn't think DC did that great a job, altho the actress who played Lois was decent. Dont rmemeber Lex at all...he looks cute in the photos Ive seen.

I can't believe that I still haven't seen the episode with the "wall around my pants" speech. It sounds so awful that I'm just itching to see it! I haven't seen much of the Helen/Lex episodes at all.

"Your silence is deafening" - awful, awful line coupled with such an awkward delivery.

[QUOTE]I think it's sad that the Smallville scenes of the movie 'Superman' were more compelling than the entire series of SV has been so far...
[/QUOTE

T.R.O.L.L

But onto bigger and better things. I looking forward the future episodes. It seems they are trying to develop better interlaced story arcs and character development within those. They just need to lower the Lana factor to it's proper place, which is last and the least. I just wish TW could find more inspiration to stay interested and excited about his character, the Superman myth and his role in depicting it.

Just fyi, the site's definition of a troll is here.

Via con dios. I could barely stand to see it once. Maybe it would have seemed better if it hadn't been only the second episode where Lex and Helen knew each other. But pouring your heart out about your dead mother and how you've been building this wall and how you want help after just meeting someone was too hard a sell. Compare it to Lex telling Clark about his mother in Shimmer. It was a little wordy and filled with historical references, but it grew naturally out of their conversation and it felt like Clark had actually earned that intimacy.

Which reminds me of some of my other favorite lines:

Clark: It's a good story.
Lex: It's a good watch.

Makes me think of the scene in 'Pulp Fiction' where Chrisopher Walkins' character talks to the young Bruce Willis character about how he kept and saves his dad's watch while he was in a prisoners of war camp.



okay I'll say instead a Travelocity traveling garden Gnome. =)

I don't think that post was by a troll. Some people like the movie better than the show. i dont agree w/ it, but its a valid criticism.

Yeh, i s'pose a gnome could work.

I'm still a big fan of Chloe's mini-rant for some of best lines:

"Okay, wait! I'm not some crash-test dumby you two can use to try out your dating skills! You, if you like Lana so much why don't you just ask her out and get it over with? And you, stop acting like a Vegas bookie picks your dates. And both of you? Treat me better."

Amen!

This probably still stands as a fav because this was first when I fell in love with the girl.

Following this are other memorable Chloe-esque lines:

"And why does my mouth taste minty?"

"You know? The choice is yours. You can either sit in your loft and play with your telescope...or move on."

That's my girl.

Note: I popped in the Season 1 DVD to make sure I got the lines right; Lana's stoopid face is on the second disk! THEN comes Lex! There is something so. So. SO very wrong with that.

Ty Nant, from which epsiode is the "carsh-test dummy" line? After a line like that, how could anyone not love Chloe? Go, snark, go!!!!

The horrifically beautiful Cool episode, S1, Ep5.

Horrific because...well, actually, that episode sucked.

Beautiful because I fell deeper in love (well, appreciation) with Chloe. With a hard-ass line like that to her boys, and the second instant of her being in danger, she totally delivered. Plus it only supported the ensuing (and hilarious) long list of 'Lana vs. Chloe in Dangerous Scenarios' comparison. That being, whenever Lana was in mortal danger, she folds like a cheap deck of cards, and Chloe, being the ballsy girl she is, fights like a tiger. In Hothead, first instance of Chloe-Danger, she takes off her jacket to roll over a fucking flaming desk, baby! In Metamorphosis, first instance of Lana-Danger, Bug-Boy narrows down on her, she cringes, and we cut to commercials. Next we see her, she's unconscious under some cheap-ass cotton webbing. Sad. And now Cool, Chloe swims, baby, swims! Doesn't quite make it, but at least she's trying something, dammit.

Anywho, full Chloe-Snark scene:

(in response to Chloe revealing Sean did not call last night)

Clark: "Well, you're probably better off. Sean's a total dog anyway."
Pete: "He's not that bad, Clark. He's always been cool to me. Just because you can't get past your Lana crush don't knock the rest of us for trying to make a love connection."
Chloe: "I thought we were focusing on me, here."
Clark (talking even before she finishes): "I don't have a crush on Lana."
Pete: "Then why don't you ask some other girl out?"
Clark (incredulously): "Like who?"
Pete (actually physically pushes Chloe forward): "Like Chloe."
Chloe (spinning around): "Okay, wait! I'm not some crash-test dummy you two can use to try out your dating skills! You, if you like Lana so much why don't you just ask her out and get it over with? And you, stop acting like a Vegas bookie picks your dates. And both of you? Treat me better."

Yeah, I'd be pretty fucking insulted, too. KickAssChloe, folks. She left us for S1, but here's hoping she's here to stay. <raises glass>

bump

The problem with the writing (as many posters have noted) is that it prizes themes or the set problem of an episode way more than characterization. The writers need to know that characterizations help set the stage for themes to play out and they shouldn't bend the characters like Gumby to get that certain message/morality lesson/whatever they want shown to be shown. They've been guilty of doing this to all the characters though Lana seems to be the one they've bent around the most.

We probably wouldn't just each episode so harshly if the characterization had been consistent or things didn't just pop up out of left field.

I would like the stories to come from the characters, and fit them. But we seem to get the characters stuffed into, shifted around, cork scrwed into, the story. Sometimes I just shake my head, and kind of ask where did that come from?

Like Pete's drag racing, that no one knew about, or that he was jealous of clark in some way. Really? Since when? oh well.

I think in 'Rush" you got a hint of his darker and uninhibited feelings towards Clark. Velocity if ANYTHING, finally proved to the Kents that dire and dangerous circumstances will bring out those behaviors in 'best friends'. the only good thing I can think of is that Chloe in ALL of her alt-behavior or being threatened by the MB and Clark, has never really turned against him, even when she learned of his alieness.

I think Chloe may be the only one who has never tried to kill anyone else in the cast, as a matter of fact! Weird that.

So basically Chloe is the only one not wanted for murder. Never thought about that, good oberservation

That's another one of those signs that she's not gonna make it through the series finale isn't it?

The writing on this show has such mood swings with respect to quality -- it's just ridiculous. There's no reason for not building up to the Pete storyline in Velocity a little. They did it in the online "Torch" - they had an article about street racing maybe 2 weeks before Velocity aired. I know that the writers are *capable* of thinking ahead, so why can't they put some refrences in there? Why not show Clark and Chloe talking about how Pete hasn't been around lately - just 2 lines, anything! This show has such a great ensamble cast, and I know that it's hard to manage all those characters, but they should get the hang of it already.

Violet, Violet, Violet, that would mean, continuity, and having to cut a Clark/Lana useless scene, to make way, for what, something interesting. My biggest complaint, that we could have been shown this over this season, not just now. I wish they would do such things, but they don't.

I agree with you though, I would have made it far more interesting, and given it more depth. But alas, no

Can someone explain to me what "organic" writing means, versus the opposite?

Well, it's not the compost they're serving up from Kent Farm, I can tell you that.

As I understand the term, Phoenix, organic writing follows its own internal laws. If a character is shown to have a quality at one point, that quality either recurs, or else is changed in a naturalistic way by the character's experiences. So (for instance) Pete suddenly becoming a racing driver is inorganic writing at its most disheartening.

In organic writing, characters' experiences arise from the interactions that they would really have with each other and their environment, and their actions have CONSEQUENCES. So the twister, though cheesy, was at least "organic" to Kansas, and Lionel was blinded as a fairly believable consequence of it. One of SV's best storylines followed the blindness and its consequences--at least for Lex and the Kents--throughout the following season.

In organic writing, Lex would be shown to suffer in some way for having taken Nixon's life. Alternatively, we would have seen Lex growing more violent or sociopathic PRIOR to the shooting, and this would explain the lack of remorse or trauma after it.

In the hourlong dramas of my (distant) youth, each episode had a reset button, and all the characters returned to square one each week. The environments were static, and only the actors' aging over the seasons gave any sign that the characters were changing. Plots were driven by "Hey! What if..." plot devices, and the characters and their environment were made to fit around those weekly devices. Guest characters were introduced for a plot then discarded, their impact evaporating, never to be mentioned again by the principal characters.

Sound familiar?

I think the racing part is actually pretty natural. It's the reckless, illegal, kryptofueled part that I think felt really forced. Pete's been shown to be reckless before while driving motorbikes but he was doing so with an invulnerable friend, not putting people in danger and breaking the law. But I agree with your view of organic writing.

PhoenixTears, for "organic" read "natural". Character behaviour that flows as a natural consequence from things previously established about that character.

DarkEmerald


That's it exactly. I imagine the writing on Smallville evolves something like this:

They have a big white board in the Writers' Room, and on it are scribbled ideas for catchy, one-word episode titles. Next to that are single phrase synopses or cues.

Cool - Guy gets frozen in a lake and needs body heat to survive. His name is "Kelvin".

Hereafter - Guy can see the moment of people's death. His name is "Jordan".

Red - Clark is exposed to Red Kryptonite. Wears leather jacket, rides motor bike, makes out with girls. Looks good in promos.

Velocity - think "Too Fast, Too Furious".

Obsession - think "Fatal Attraction".

Somewhere else on the white board are scribbled a list of names they got from researching the Superman comic books. It says things like Morgan Edge, Cadmus Labs, Keystone City, Sullivan County, Maggie Sawyer, Suicide Slum, Tobi Raines, STAR Labs, Talia Head, Lori Lemaris etc. and when they need a name or a place and the WB honchos are agreeable they grab that piece of comic book lore and throw it in an episdoe.

So character arcs do not appear to be "organic". The stories are not driven by what that character might do next. They are driven by catchy episode titles or ideas for a promo spot, and then ideas about "moral ambiguity" and "shades of grey" and "I've always lived in your shadow, Clark" are just layered over the top like an ill-fitting jacket. Then the characters just say and do whatever the script dictates.

Within the episode, we are told that Clark is struggling with his conscience or Lana and Chloe are like sisters or Pete has an inferiority complex, but outside the episode, looking at the series as a whole, none of these events make any sense because we have seen the characters behave inconsistently with their actions in the current episode.

The only characters who seem to mostly escape this haphazard handling are Lex and Lionel, and to a lesser extent, Chloe. Either those actors have a better handle on how they deliver certain lines to make them more "organic", or the characters themselves demand that the writers pay them more respect.

Ahh. I suddenly understand the unreasonable amounts of physical abuse Chloe and Lex have been suffering from late. Poor woobies.

I just think that MR, JG and AM are taking their acting careers seriously enough to have made up coherent character profiles in their own minds and act in character even though the script doesn't call for it. These three characters are basically the only ones that have some clearly established traits. When the script forces them to act OOC it's glaringly obvious as a isolated event (Lex loosing his composure over a parking ticket, Chloe going from spunky (I'm not a dating crash-test-dummy....) and having her own separate interests and ambitions in S1 to no-self-esteem-Lanawannabe in S2)

I have no problem with the "pick a theme" approach, provided the way the characters interact with the theme makes sense. 2Pete2Furious could have been introduced better if someone had referred to the fact that Pete was driving, or not around, or hanging with new people, an episode or two earlier.

WRT to the comment about Lex not appearing to have any fallout from shooting Nixon, to be fair I think MR plays Lex as very emotionally guarded about pretty much everything except Clark and his father. And he became much more so during S2 - which is actually what boys tend to do when something is bothering them, so that made a certain amount of sense to me. For sure, we *could* have seen Lex confiding in Clark about how he felt, or reacting to a comment about Nixon, or having a nightmare, but that would have stolen precious screen time from the beautiful endless love of the Clana.

There's a lovely-looking MA thesis out there on TWoP which refers to the SV board. To my horror, the poor writer is under the impression that the show is actually about Clark and Lana's romance, and that Omar has rewritten the narrative as a gay love story in his recaps, inspiring us all. Now, I agree with the latter, but not the former. It's a terrible shame that people now think that's what SV is supposed to be about, because it was NEVER solely the story of the Clana. Until season 2.

As I said on the Lana thread, I watched Drone tongiht on Easy View and I got to thinking that, had it been written this season or last, the focus would have been a little different. I think Lana probably would have been the one in danger instead of MamaKent, Lana would have gone to the mansion to ask Lex for help with the Bad Beanery Businessman, and the final barn scene would have featured an awkward analogy about how politics is like the failed Clana relationship.

Also, Pete was written being happy to be the "man behind the man" in Drone. Since he's gotten so little screen time since, I wonder what changed. Did finding out about Clark's powers change that? I'm really not sure how. He always seemed happy enough about Clark's powers until Velocity.


And we would never, ever want that! Really though I wouldn't have expected a long drawn out scene where Lex confronts his demons or spills his guts to Clark about killing Nixon. But some little something just showing us that he thought about it. It's like how they never followed up on LexCorp. I assume it doesn't exist anymore because Lex is now working for his father at LuthorCorp, but did we ever actually get onscreen resolution? Or what happened after Jonathan decided Martha should spy on Lionel? So many writing loose ends.

Just goes to show that if there isn't a way to make Lana a part of the plot, then it's considered pointless to explore (which amazes me, again, about the killing, that we didn't see her endless legal struggles as she proved her actions were in self defense!). I assume we would have seen Pete's rise to champion race car driver if only Lana could have found time to become a mechanic!

When I first read this I though, naah, you must be exagerating, surley there are on going plots that don't involve Lana in some way...then I though about it, and....*sigh* that quote is sad but true.



Bwahh! No doubt....

Never too late to learn. She picked up a full array of martial arts abilities in an afternoon, after all.

Maybe Pete found out that Lex was the real "guy behind the guy" and got jealous.
But yeah, I think finding out about Clark's powers changed it...and maybe his frustration over Chloe's poor treatment by Clark and his unrequited love for her.

Is this thesis posted on the web? I'd be interested in reading it. What field is it in? Modern Culture and the Media?



I think that in Prodigal, Lex got LexCorp back with no strings attached and a majority share...but then he may have lost it when he went to the blue lagoon over the summer.


ETA: Sorry...didn't attach my post to my last post. Won't happen again, honest.
About the Mionel, I think after Insurgence and Suspect, Lionel assumed that Martha wouldnt want to work for him anymore and let her go, and the Kents didn't seem to mind. Too bad. I really liked it when Martha was Lionel's secretary and Lionel was all flirty with her.

haruchi, details of the thesis and a link to the thesis itself are here.

Thanks, suzycat! I wouldn't mind writing a thesis on SV...maybe I should look into their program ;)

Okay, 'The Hereafter.' The writing on this episode vexes me enormously, because it illustrates the extreme ranges of quality this show has had from the start, the good stuff that keeps me coming back for more like a big dumb dog, and the shite which makes me want to pull my hair out, or someone else's hair out.

For once, I really liked (the FOTW) Jordan, even though he was sort of where Johnny Smith from the Dead Zone meets Clyde Bruckman from the X-Files. Probably having a lot to do with the actor being quite good. And his little piece of the story was engrossing, well-done, you could feel for the boy, the outcome didn't totally suck.

But then, they ended that part of the story in the 3rd Act. Maybe I'm just way too raised on the 4-Act TV Drama Structure, but it just drove me nuts. Emotionally, the episode felt over, but they had to go on for one more whole act. That always sucks, when the climax has maxed and the denouement just drags on and on. And the 4th Act was Lana/Adamyadayada. And then it all ends with Jonathan having a heart attack. Kitchen sink, much?

Maybe the Adam thing is SV's attempt at an actual sort of arc, at multi-episode storytelling, and they just don't know how to do it. In which case, they should watch the masters, Chris Carter and the X-Files, Joss Whedon and Buffy. Instead of butchering up a promising storyline and sticking the arc matter in the 4th act, they should be threading the Adam stuff through the major thrust of each episode. Man that pissed me off, because I haven't actually liked anything non-Luthor-related in the longest time on this show.

This season, it really feels to me, with the exception of Shattered, that the writers never meet together all at the same time, that someone writes one act, leaves it on the table, someone else comes in, adds some stuff, the Net Execs come on and write in some Lana crap, etc. Gah.

The thing that bothers me about the Adam arc is that it seems rushed. This is the norm, though. Look at the Helen arc where they went from "hello, what's your name?" to "help me break down the walls around my pants, er, heart!" within a couple of scenes. Adam is supposed to be Lana's love interest, but they haven't dated or kissed. She didn't even know what state he was from. He went from being a guy she was maybe interested in, to a guy she was extremely suspicious of in no time flat.

I think it's because they don't have a really clear idea of what they want to do with the characters or the arcs. They didn't know if Helen or Adam were going to be really evil so they didn't want to paint themselves into a corner. But this meant that most of the characters' development took place offscreen so the writers wouldn't contradict themselves later.

But see, if Lana and Adam had really gotten involved, and then she found out he was a crazy clone thingy, that would show she is a bad judge of character. *gasp* A flaw! If they had started a really relationship, it wouldve looked like Lana was a stupid, foolish teenager who didn't learn anything from her issues with Clark. The way it is now is not all Lana's fault, she was still getting to know Adam, and didn't have all the facts. And she never really trusted him anyway. Thus, Lana can still be Smallville's perfect, pretty pretty princess.

But word on the arcs always getting rushed. I hate that. I think that M&G just don't have the patience for it -- the just want to get to the 'cool' part of the story already.

And I think this is actually kind of too bad. KK and IS have some pretty good chemistry together and I was interested to see if that would continue to come across if they had any romantic/sexual scenes. Especially considering how incredibly wooden KK was with TW in those sort of scenes, which, between Kyla and the previews for next week, which are seriously hot, I blame on her and not him.

Of course, if they hadn't rushed the arc so much, there would have been time for this sort of thing to happen. But they did rush the arc, so we haven't had time.

Oh my god, did I just say I actually *wanted* a Lana scene? Ack!

Then again, Lana has a pretty poor track record as a judge of character, if Whitney, JTT, MagnetKid, etc., are to be taken into account. Not to mention 'Kal'. I'm surprised she's not suspicious of Lex and/or Pete for NOT being in love with her (though she might assume that they are)! Adam just followed the usual course of infatuation and betrayal that Lana has come to know as a 'relationship', leaving her just as her parents did. Good thing she has her many, many, many hobbies and assorted projects to keep her occupied!

It's ok I understand what you mean. If Lana has to be in every episode, then I would want her scenes to matter and not just feel like another forced appearance. But they have her written as this tragic figure or perpetual love interest, and exactly how is that supposed to be interesting? People are either abandoning her or falling in love with her and then abandoning her. If she's going to be in the story, then the writers need to break her out of those roles--but not by shoehorning her into every possible plotline.

Word to your last post Cyb. The only time I'v ever liked a Lana scene was when she was around Adam. Personally, I wish he could have stuck around as a permanent character. It looked to me like he would have been good for Lana, as he actually called her on her shit. A relationship between them could have been interesting and might have actually helped her grow as a character. She always talks about shedding those princess fairy wings, but we haven't seen her really make any real effort to do it. She always shrinks back into her comfort zone of being the perpetual little girl. Adam could have possibly changed that, so of course he had to go. Damn you, AlMiles!

What was wrong with Whitney? Or do you mean the fauxWhitney from Visage?

Whitney tied Clark up, once. And not in that pleasurable way.

Whitney turned into a decent guy by the end of season 1 but he started out as a jerk and bully. He actually had much more development than Lana. She ended up being pretty much the same all year long, but he managed a good amount of growth.

There are, a lot of them, good ones too, but, they all take place offscreen. The actual, television broadcast is reserved for giving the world the opportunity to gaze on Lana's beauty and pink perfection, for as long as possible. How can any mere plot compete with that?

Whitney DID develop eventually, but only AFTER he split from Lana! Coincidence?

I think not!

I can see it as a common procedure at Smallville Medical, 'I'm afraid that the only recourse to save your life is a pinkectomy.'