I agree, SnowDog. I was seeing both of their sides for a while, but then I think both were a little too ... dogmatic? In the end, however, if the single sister has truly, honestly decided that if she doesn't find an African-American man, she'd rather be alone, then that's the way it is. Her sister should butt out. I've decided unless the 'perfect' guy comes along, I'm never getting married again so ... Just kidding. Don't sign me up for the Dr. Phil show.

And what was that with making a huge point about African-Am men 'choosing' to be gay? That REALLY set me off.

Everyone on today's show were idiots. The one black guy who said he wouldn't even date Halle Berry because he doesn't ever date black women was lying. What a dumb shit. All of the people on the show made so many general and stereotypical comments that just made me sick to my stomach.

ITA that by Vay's logic, nobody would date anyone. Not dating white guys cause they raped and enslaved her race at some point in history? Stupid. She can feel the way she wants to cause its her life, but its just dumb. That's like saying I'll become a lesbian because men didn't let women vote all those years before. Whatever people. When does this show not make me mad?

I was just amazed at the prejudice and racism. Honey, not all white Americans had slaves. Plenty of folks came in the Ellis Island immigration waves of the 1900s--they didn't have slaves....

How can she tell who's black enough for her? By their skin color? By researching the family tree to see how many black ancestors there were? What about someone of mixed race?

And the ones that did have slaves aren't alive today for her to date, lyz2814.

I think her problem is the stick up her ass and chip on her shoulder rather than the men she's been trying to date. She kept saying "As a highly-educatedblahblahblah." It's like people who say, "I really am a nice person once you get to know me." People who truly are [insert noun here] don't have to say it outloud; their actions prove it. Mother Teresa didn't go around to cocktail parties saying what a wonderful person she was.

Word and hee, SnowDog.

About that show, remember the first woman and her best friend? Well, my affiliate broke in with the most important news story of the century (*eyes rolling*) Martha Stewart during that segment and when they came back, Dr. Phil was talking about something that had happened to the woman in the past. Does anybody remember what that was because I couldn't figure out even the nature of it by the time the show came back and I was just wondering.

"I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than marry a white man!"

Well, with an attitude like that, what man (of any race/ethnicity) wouldn't want you, sweetpea? Uch. She was bitchy to the max.


It's not Botox, IMO, it's facelifts. She's got her eyes jacked up and her cheeks all funny; 'tox can't do all that. I literally gasp every time I see her.

Does she even have an undergraduate degree at least? She's not qualified at all! At least Dr. Pill, irritating as he is, has a PhD in psychology. He's an asspie, but he has credentials.

LisaLyn, the guest you were asking about had been raped by a co-worker after they had been out drinking with friends.

The dating show: Didja notice that DrShill gave the lady who got date-raped THE SAME ADVICE as her friend had been giving her?!!!!!

Give the guys a break and have a few more dates before you write them off.

Doh!

The friend was sick and tired of the lady poopooing the guys while at the same time bitchin' about her lack of dates or "good men." I hate people who do that: complain and then fuck up their chances. The friend was just tired of it also. If you don't like the guys or have not gotten over the terrible experience--which does take a lot of work--then shut the hell up about not having dates!

The friend wasn't pushy--she was confused and trying to help the lady. Been there, done that. The best she could do now is shut up and listen and nod; or hang up the phone; or tell the lady that she cannot listen any more to the negative stuff. It's a drag.

Also I agree above with all about the Black Lady and the audience comments. BTW, didja notice that on regular shows they rarely have that many people of color? Interesting that they had to bring people in for this DrShill show.

I noticed that too, Tosia! It was like a Very Special After School Episode of the Dr. Phil Show ™.

First of all, allow me to express my delight in discovering that there's a TWoP Firing Range to discuss/villify Dr. Phil or -- as I like to refer to him and the show in moment of anger and disgust -- Patriarch Phil!

Secondly, I feel I need to defend Marty a little. I do agree that he's lazy and selfish and needs to be aggressively worked-on to get him "up to code" in a Post-Feminist World. However, I think that many women (Including Erin!) are basically mad that the men they are with aren't as considerate, aware, and empathic as another woman would be or as much as they dream that their idealized partner/maternal/paternal fantasy will be which is the equally pernicious female equivalent to male entitlement/sex-object fantasies. Meanwhile, Erin is ONLY NOW beginning to realize what a horrible, critical, and unloving bitch she has been and that -- aside from some innate laziness and selfishness – maybe Marty did have some reasons for being distant.

Moving along...

While I admit that both sisters have some Attitude with a Capital A -- and that the sister who married the white guy probably had a number of reasons for doing it -- I still sympathized with the complaints of the AA Sisters. The demographic trends they were discussing are Very Real Problems for AA women and other women really don't get it except for the part about the UNIVERSAL PROBLEM of many men being selfish, insensitive, and narcissistic and wanting women who will kiss their asses, pamper them, and soothe their egos! They also spoke true of the successful AA men who try to land themselves light-skinned women to declare/raise their social status and that of their children via lighter colored skin. It's very sad, but with racist people, places, and times, the lighter your skin color the better you have the potential to do and the less discrimination you will likely face. It was actually a pretty good show though Dr. Phil had obviously trucked into some AA folks (and men) just for the occassion.

I can sympathize with all these women though, basically, everyone is complaining that many men out there aren't interpersonally/relationally-oriented enough, bypass being friends with them/treating them as people/being interested in their inner lives, and view them as physical/sexual/maternal objects.

Moving along...

I DEFINITELY have to jump into the Chase 'Em Into The Hills Hate Mob towards Dr. Phil and Robin from last week. I am sooo sick of them holding themselves up as the resident Alpha Male and Female sent forth from The New South to enlighten the ignorant masses! What's interesting is how in some ways Dr. Phil really is a pretty "with-it" man yet in other ways he's a TOTAL SEXIST PIG & GOOD OLE BOY FROM TEXAS of George Bush's ilk. I sort of view him as a former ignorant/selfish male who got some schooling and some therapy and then figured out how to maintain a fairly good home life with a fairly conservative woman. He also continually acts like educational, professional, financial, racial, class, and differences/disparities are really no big deal often TOTALLY ignoring the fact that -- in terms of background and where he is now -- he is an UNCOMMONLY and HUGELY successful white male with a stay-at-home wife and two grown kids who made all the right choices. I remember this one episode where these parents were devastated that their kids didn't get into a private school and he acted like there was simply no reason for them to be upset. As is success nothing but a matter of Will-Power and Attitude and that people who fail or lose therefore deserve to.

Still, despite being educated and keeping track of current research, Patriarch Phil pushes a pretty Neo-Conservative agenda and his fan-base is mostly people who subscribe to it. Notice how the only woman on Dr. Phil who ever admitted to having had an abortion (At her husbands urging!) tearfully admitted that it was a TERRIBLE MISTAKE (As did her husband!) and then they went through Dr. Phil's elaborate forgiveness ritual? Notice how he always fights with the woman from the newest Dr. Phil family (Stacy) or any other woman of strength, intelligence, and conviction who doesn't agree with him or look at him like he's their Guiding Light?

It's rather interesting how he views Stacy's disagreeing with him as her saying she's not interested in "being up there" rather then accepting it to be her considered opinion that he usually runs roughshod over her and others. BTW, her daughter, Brianne, is pathetic ("One molecule of alcohol and my pathetically need-to-be-perfect life was changed forever!") and could someone tell me why all his guests suffer from Congenital Ignorance and Terminal Stupidity?

Profesor Soap Glad you've joined us, I needed something to cheer me up after

Today's Depressing Show


I'm close to Monika's age and when she first appeared today I was more inspired than I've ever been by the WLC. Here was an older woman, who by hard work and good attitude had made herself darn good looking. I was ready to try!

Then it all came crashing down. Evidently she still wasn't socially acceptable. Well I don't have $10,000 to fix the loose skin that's bound to be there if I lose weight so I guess there's not much point in trying.

The doctor particularly offended me when he talked about making her more "feminine". I don't feel that a little sag in the jaw line makes me unfeminine - that comes from my own inner grace and nutruring personality - thank you very much!

I love how on one show he's totally anti-cosmetic surgery and then a couple weeks later we have some dude from Extreme Makeover sitting on stage, talking about "improving" a woman and Dr. Phil is acting like he's filled yet another fantasy for someone.
His loyal Dr. Phil fans must be pretty confused by now.

He and Oprah have this God Complex going on where they basically, enlighten, provide for, and then rescue all of these self/life-made losers they bring onto their shows who joyously and passionately weep that these Beneficent Cosmic Entities have rescued them. Like that stupid man who was unemployed and sat at a desk outside trying to find work and then Beloved Dr. Phil brought in some consulting firm and rescued he, his wife, and their four or five ill-advisedly conceived children from poverty and, of course, the wife wept with relief!

Don't even get me started on the weight-loss challenge series, or the people, or all those manipulative cliff-hangers over who would be dropped where Dr. Phil then "suddenly" had a change of heart and magnanimously allowed the sinners to stay.

Or about how his entire book "Relationship Rescue" is a rip-off of Harville Hendrix's 1988 masterpiece "Getting The Love You Want" which, while impressive, itself essentially rips-off many of Freud's best ideas.

I still haven't gotten over how he and Brandon's parents lured the kid onto the show under false pretenses and then did a PUBLIC INTERVENTION which they pulled-off by TELLING LIES.

It doesn't matter if it worked or that Brandon is now better and grateful, they lied to make it happen.

Still, as bad as he is, I feel that reaches a demographic who would otherwise be lost, and that, aside from the sexism and conservatism, he does at least provide current research and figures and a generally well-rounded formula for living well.

Besides, all of his guests know what they are getting themselves into.

I just wish he would explore why people make the choices they do rather then ripping holes in them for having made them but then a part of me feels the show is a kind of Post-Modern Closet Christian Confessional.

Wow, that's harsh. Personally, I'd rather parent a 13-year-old that made a religious commitment to abstain from alcahol than a 13 year old who wants to try it all without examining her own sense of morality. Adolecents tend toward exteme beliefs and they view morality as black-and-white. What I'm seeing in Brianne isn't an obsession with a perfect life (good greif, dysfunction would be a step up for her fam), but rather a determination to hold herself to her standard of morality despite the chaos around her, and I admire that in her. Poor kid.



It could be that, or it could be that Dr. Phil is hard on Stacy becuase Stacy is an abusive tramp. I would hardly call her a woman of strength, intelligence or conviction. I agree, though, that many of his guests are not so emotionally intelligent, but then again they went to a TV psych dr for psychological help.

I turned the show off today after Monika's segment. It just made me too sick. I totally know what you're saying, Percolata. I thought this was all about inspiring people. And what are these people trying to live up to? What ever happened to being happy (or at least learning to live with) what you've got? Honestly, Monika looks great. Trying to make us all think there is something wrong with looking like that is just sickening to me. No, we can't be happy with what we have -- we must all do all we can (and spend all we can) to live up to some ridiculous, impossible ideal in looks and lifestyle. Whatever.

Ok, rant over. :)

And it is funny, El DeMarge, how Phil's all against cosmetic surgery on one show and then today, he's all for it. I suppose it has everything to do with the publicity he's going to get from having one of his Weight Loss people on 'Extreme Makeover'.

Professor Soap, will you marry me? I don't care if you're male or female. Right on about everything that you said.

I too have noticed a very definite anti-abortion slant to Dr. Shill's "counseling." This is not only indicative of what is happening in our country right now, I feel it is very irresponsible while abortions remain safe and legal.

I don't believe that many women take the decision to have an abortion lightly. For many women, it is an agonizing choice, followed by an agonizing procedure, followed by years of guilt and regret afterward. It's not a pretty reality, but it's reality nonetheless. The last thing women need is some two-bit talk show host making them feel bad for exercising their choice while it still exists.

What happened with the WLC, you guys? I missed it due to a job interview this afternoon (here's hoping!). Don't tell me that, after Monika lost all the weight, they decided she needed plastic surgery too!

I'm so tired of this standard in our country that men and women have to undergo cosmetic procedures in order to be acceptable. I'm all for looking good, but as I reach 35, I am really starting to feel the pressure to have lipo, a brow lift, a tit lift, etc. It's supremely irritating. I keep trying to remind myself of the attitude of Italian males: they believe women in all shapes and sizes are beautiful, and they believe that a woman ripens with age.

While I agree with most of what you said, Professor Soap, I do disagree with this:

Religious rules about alcohol are as stringent for Mormons as kosher rules are for Jews. If Brianne were Jewish and her spineless stepfather knowingly gave her pork while her skank mom watched, I would be just as outraged for Brianne. I think her reaction was completely understandable.

complicatedgirl:

Not to mention on the message boards too. Hell, they were against Alex giving up the baby for adoption. "Babies are little cute bunny-nosed gifts from heaven above!!" Blech.

Extreme Makeover is just disturbing.

I did not watch DP today so I looked up the ep on his site and I was amazed that Monika was going to get surgery- she did not need it! The pics of her looked great! Now, I can understand if she wanted to have some excess skin removed- my best friend lost about 100 lbs and she had really bad tummy rolls that were not going to go away- but all of the other stuff just seemed unnecessary.

I watch Extreme Makeover but it makes me feel kinda bummed sometimes. I LIKE the way I look- no I am not a supermodel- but I think that I look OK, and they are rather sneaky about suggesting that everyone needs a little work done. I LIKE my imperfections- but it took me a long time to get to this place, and I hate that a dumb TV show undermines that.

As for Brianne- I think she overreacted in the way that all 13 year olds do. Professor Soap, I think that you are on the money except for one observation. I think that a strong woman would sit there and at least listen to DP's advice (because he has some good stuff- sometimes) and at least consider it- or discard it. I don't believe Stacy, in her narcissism and her personality disorder- has listened to a damn word he has said. What kills me is when these people, who admit that they have a problem by simply coming on the show, come up with excuse after excuse for every DP criticism and suggestion.

You know, in a way, Dr. Phil can be just as bad as pretty much every New Product Commercial which shows how buying/using the right products/services will make you desirable, loved, and successful. I mean, all these "Special Rewards" he's offering these people in the Weight-Loss Challenge seem to be selected from along these very lines.

I'm sort of divided on the question of physical augmentation because I just finished a Master's Thesis into which I incorporated a lot of Evolutionary Biology Research which explained to me why certain physical looks are so desirable to potential mates. Being at a healthy weight, being well-toned physically, and having good couture, odor, skin, hair, eyes, and teeth will maximize whatever innate looks one has and -- purely as a physical specimen -- will make one more physically desirable to a larger percentage of the pool of available people.

With the appearance improvements made possible from make-overs and surgeries one can upgrade the appearance of pretty much anyone and raise them to a higher level of attractiveness then they would naturally would be at. In a sense, in using these techniques, you are deceiving the brain's Natural Selection Systems by ARTIFICIALLY raising someone's Biological Market Value beyond what it would normally be. It really is a process that enables the less desirable to become attractive to those with more desirable natural endowments although many people say that it cheats the Natural Selection Process because less desirable people, with the right modifications, are able to get more desirable people then their genes -- or socio-economic status power (The other great decider!) -- would normally allow them to.

My own personal belief is that -- while one should NEVER be one of those monstrous women who spends thousands and thousands of dollars in futile and compulsively pathological attempts at geometric symmetry and perfection -- it's not a bad idea to go to a plastic surgeon and say:

"What about my body could be improved or fixed?"

Knowledge gives you a CHOICE.

At the same time, however, to find someone where there is a deeper connection, you will need depth, intelligence, awareness, kindness, and sensitivity in yourself and towards others as well as well as the unconscious elements that drive attraction. Pretty only takes you so far, although it's amazing just how far it takes you with men and recent studies indicate that affluent/successful women start to wear the beauty lenses in terms of the people they are interested in. They still prefer mates who are successful, but, if the man is beautiful and nice enough, you'd be amazed what some women are prepared to settle for.

I remain divided on this issue, personally. I am not always thrilled with my body yet it is reflective of the life I live and the world I live in. Yet I know I could do better (especially in the gay world) if I lost weight and was in shape and I am even exploring my options. At the same time, I would never NOT become friends with someone because of the way they looked unless looking at them was horribly painful, they stank, or were unpleasant so the Beauty Obsession -- even though I understand it's biological underpinnings better then most -- still leaves a VERY BAD TASTE in my mouth. I can deal with people who comprehensively pursue systemic wellness but I loathe Gymbos. I mean, when did we as a culture start to require machine minted perfection from beings who are essentially round bags of water? No, the only thing that keeps me away from certain people is them being weak, ignorant, stupid, and mean.

BTW, people's comments on Brianne were interesting. I guess the reason I thought her reaction was a bit excessive was because she didn't choose to drink alcohol but was trying a sliver of cake which contained some trace amounts. I can see why people were upset but it was hardly something to make a federal case over and Brianne shouldn't be blaming herself and her "I'll never be pure again... EVER!" attitude seemed a bit much though I certainly respect her religious convictions. Aside from their blatant patriarchalism, sexism, homophobia, and purported hidden racism, the Mormons advocate a fairly healthty lifestyle and their young men are so HOT!

Believe it or not, I actually like Stacy though I agree she's a total train-wreck. Still, at least she had the guts to tell Dr. Phil she didn't agree with all of his conclusions or his techniques and it's high-time someone on this show did.

Remember the woman in the obviously shitty marriage who was in love with the Gay Man? All Dr. Phil did was yell at her and insist that she "make her decision right" even if her marriage was so ill-advised and crappy that neither she nor the boys were well-served by being there. This show continually reminds me why Feminism is needed and why education, marketable skills, therapy, and personal development/awareness before marriage and children are so important.

Professor Soap:

I think I was more upset that her stepfather didn't care about what her reaction would be. Brianne is already insecure about her relationship in the family since two of her brothers have been shipped off; she doesn't need her stepdad to add his carelessness to the mix.



Oh, I agree that someone needs to tell DP to shut it; I just don't think Stacy is the best choice. I'm pretty hard on cheaters.



This is something that royally pisses me off about DP. "You've gotta earn your way out of the marriage." Bullpoo! If someone cheats on you, you have the right to dump them immediately. I wonder if DP earned his way out of his first marriage. BTW, that woman was totally clueless. "He just thinks he's gay; he's really not." Whatever, Queen of De-Nile.

Stacy is DEFINITELY the Major Shit-Starter in that family (And also probably a direct descendant of the Whore of Babylon!) but the stepfather DEFINITELY starts shit too, he's just more clever about it (And did this guy EVER have a Job?), and Brianne is SUCH a reactive Drama Queen to all household events. I agree she's a teen but she irritated me anyway. When she said he violated her trust I was like:

"Are we headed into sexual abuse territory or someting?"

Still, I was like:

"Dude, the cake had booze so why did you offer it her to begin with?"

They are all up to lots of unconscious mischief though Stacy is the worst of the lot.

What's amazing to me is that she, and they, have made it this far to begin with! Thank God they sent the brother to that school because that kid was crazy and was about 2 steps from being taken out into the back yard and shot in the head.

I would never stay in a relationship like that but with all those pups between them I guess they don't have much choice at the moment.

What scares me about Stacy is that I'm not sure she's capable of loving anyone, I get this vibe off of her that everyone in her life is there for her purposes.

The whole "Earn your way out of a marriage!" thing isn't an entirely bad idea, conceptually speaking, in terms of trying to understand things and make it work if it can be made to work. I think it's more the semantics that are troublesome to many people because, while most would agree it's good to try and fix a marriage and then leave it after you put in a good effort and decide it still wasn't enough, most would also agree you have the right to leave whenever you want.

Dr. Phil's approach makes it sound like you somehow don't already have the right to leave when you do but would be advised to stay and work on it long-enough to fix it or leave it well.

Although not usually an uncompassionate person, I'm really looking forward to the schadenfreude that will come when DP and Robin take a big, splashing, crashing fall. (I must say that I'm not taking as much pleasure in the Martha Stewart crash, even though I think she, like DP, held herself up as a Paragon of all Virtue and then believed her own hype. Once the MCI and Enron guys get theirs, then I'll enjoy thinking of The Martha in a cell.) But I'm going to love when someone stomps on DPs clay feet (maybe Oprah, hey that would hurt!).

What irks me most these days is the lack of depth to the actual show: clips of what's coming next, which are then shown again. Sometimes three times, once as a teaser at the beginning of the show. Looonngg commercial breaks. The last four minutes of the show being shills for his books, gifts for the audience, or plugs for upcoming shows. And so often, DP saying, "We'll talk more when we come back" or "I'll give you the tools when we get back" and then not delivering. Or he gives advice but can't resist giving it via Southern Good-ol-Boy aphorisms which didn't work for Perot, or worse, mugging for the camera. And while I'm at it, that staged from-me-to-you sentence that he tosses to the guest with a hand on their chair just as the camera breaks, as if he were really focused on them, camera or not. And I don't care who that guy dates. Really. It's not a dating "reality" show.

Okay, I'm done ranting. But I tell ya, with these shows getting worse and Survivor devolving into painfulness I may be forced to....I dunno....interact with my family ...or...read..or something.

Don't time to read = no time to post.

All hail the Professor. I want to marry you too.

This is exactly why I can not watch Dr. Phil or Oprah. I don't argue that they are not entitled to their success or should feel massive amounts of guilt, but both of them seem to want to make others feel guilty for their own bad luck. If DrPhil or Oprah had all of the answers, then all of their followers would be rich and happy. Obviously, they are not, so is that the fault of the universe, or timing, or choices that in hindsight were wrong? No, it's their own damn fault. I would have a lot more respect for them if their attitude was "Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't. Just do the best you can". There are no answers in life, and for either of them to supply answers is selfish and narcissistic. The best we can get is advice which we are free to reject.
I agree, Professor, that DP is like a neoconservative Christian confessional, where you tell DP your sins and he tells you how to live your life.
I wish that once a guest would ask him "Why?" and not take a fat mugging face or Good Old Boy fishpond pearls of wisdom as an answer.

Don't know if we have any Bachelor(ette) fans on this board, but during the footage of Thomas and Kimberlee on their Caribbean date, I was just waiting for Thomas to open an envelope with an enclosed card that said, "You may choose to forego your individual rooms and stay as a couple in our Fantasy Suite!"



Oh, c'mon...just take a look at Robin, there's no way DP could be anti-plastic surgery!! She probably has her very own plastic surgeon on retainer.

I just saw the movie Calendar Girls, which I recommend to anyone feeling oppressed by America's obsession with youth & beauty. I would much rather look like Helen Mirren than Robin when I reach my 50s! Personally, I think Monika could benefit from having some loose skin removed since she's lost so much weight, but that's it. The face lift, breast lift etc. are just overkill.

Interesting little tidbit: my therapist, a really righteous and talented guy, used to advocate the use of "Self Matters" for some of his clients. Dr. Shill used to be a big user of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is what my therapist has taught me to use (and it has saved my life). Therapist used to be very happy that a mass-market book could be so helpful as an adjunct to the therapy he provided to his patients in the office.

No more. I had my monthly check-in with him yesterday and we were just shooting the breeze. I mentioned something about Dr. Phil in passing. The therapist said, "Oh no, I don't recommend him to anyone any longer. So many of us in the therapeutic community are concerned about what transpires on his show. Now I tell my patients to take everything DP says with a liberal dash of salt."

Monika is not just having a neck tuck for her extra skin under her chin, but also a chin implant, a brow lift, lipo, something about fat being removed from around her knees, a boob job, and fat injections (for eye wrinkles? I think I saw her motion towards her temples when they were talking about that.). So she is getting a complete overhaul.
The reason I said that Dr. Phil was anti-cosmetic surgery on one show (obviously his wife is Scary McFacelift) is because he had a show where one woman (Bachelor Thomas' Date Woman) came on the show saying that she's tried everything to find a man, blahblahblah-end-of-her-rope, and she was sure that getting cosmetic surgery was going to help her. Dr. Phil said that she should NOT, no way, ever ever, get cosmetic surgery done. He said that it wouldn't fix her problems and she'd still be unhappy afterwards. I wish I could remember more of his reasons.
Seriously, I'm glad Thomas lost weight and is a nice guy and all that but I just don't care who he dates. The WLC shows are getting boring as hell.

No doubt, El DeMarge! I usually fast forward through any and all WLC dating segments.

Wow even people in his own field doubt him! Cool! I totally agree too, DP is making me mad which is so sad. But I liked that Tony Soprano referenced him on the show on Sunday.

I think I got a different show than yall did yesterday. I got Thomas the bachelor, yick.

I was in the bookstore yesterday and I saw Jay's book on the shelf. I have to say, he looks kind of fat on the cover, who chose that horrid picture?

I think when he was on Oprah, he was more willing to help people change their behavior and make their own choices. Now, he dictates to people. How healthy is it to live someone else's life? I think he's completely irresponsible.

What's funny is how Dr. Phil is basically watered down and ripped-off John Gray, Barbara DeAngelis, and Harville Hendrix and how Harville Hendrix himself is watered down and ripped-off Sigmund Freud.

Dr. Phil is basically just a Texas Bastardization & BBQ of it all and the meat of his ideas are doused in his own special marinade and glaze of a (semi) thinking persons's secularly cloaked Christianity and popular-culturally cloaked NeoConservatism.

Still, he's been mentioning God and "everything happens for a divine reason" a little too much for my taste as of late.

Moving along...

All these marriage proposals, why I'm starting to feel like a Rock Star, thanks guys!

I'm not really sure if Robin's had work done or not though I agree she probably uses botox in addition to hormonal and vitamin treatments, obsessive eyebrow tweezing, and likely daily colonics.

If you look at old pictures she looks pretty much the same then as she does now except she went through a highly boring natural brunette phase and highly unnatural blonde phase. Seriously, without hair augmentation, Robin's got her eyes and face, and that's pretty much it. It's interesting, normally, I don't recommend women dye their hair, but Robin looks so good and so striking as a redhead with the gold highlights that I think she needs to stick with it and never try anything else. I think Robin looks good because she's obsessive about diet and exercise and has got a relaxed affluent lifestyle and has a husband who allows -- indeed insists -- that she spend the time and money to look great.

Sigh, I have no problem with Texas, or people from Texas, but why is it always the MOST IGNORANT and CONSERVATIVE people from Texas who seem to make it to the top? They then reflect badly on Texas and make America look awful to the rest of the world.

Moving along...

I wonder if Monika is dolling-herself-up in preparation for kicking her loser husband out and finding a new man?

I have a new theory that many of the guests come onto to Dr. Phil to either confess their sins and be cleansed or to shame their dumb their evil spouses with the unconscious intent to eventually dump them after exposing them.

Monika will be well-served by losing the sagging skin on her body and the eyelift because anyone with narrow eye appertures will tell you it gets annoying over time to have them that way.

I hadn't ever paid much attention to Robin before a few weeks ago when someone stood up and said that she was their incentive to lose weight and/or get in shape. She said something about an interview with Robin that appeared in O magazine where Robin told Dr Phil years and years ago that if he allowed he to have a second child, she promised she would always keep her figure.

Now, there's a healthy relationship built on unconditional love!

I don't know that there's a lot new under the sun in this field anyway, is there? And this stuff sells because people still believe that if they buy the product it will work. Some folks don't get that you have to apply the product as well, often with a little elbow grease.

I'm one of the 1% of folks that hates Harville Hendrix with the burning heat of a thousand nuns (tm-TWOP). That book, like so many others, assumes that you have two healthy base people to work from, and only the relationship is injured. In so many instances, one or both people have deep underlying psychological issues that should be addressed prior to trying to beat out the relationship with talk therapy. The whole Stacy thing is a great example of this. That gal might be dealing with a couple of DSM IV diagnosable problems, and if that's the case the relationship is doomed until they are addressed, no matter how many times DP says, "that dog won't hunt".

Not all of us judge Texas by DP, by the way. Have hope.

EXTREMELY well said, Hexele.

My beef with Hendrix is based more on his plagiarism then anything else.

I think his model can work well but the central problem to all relationships (external realities aside) is basically narcissism, selfishness, infantile rage/expectations, unresolved rage/conflicts, and as you said, undiagnosed conditions which usually are an outflow of the aforementioned 4.

Besides which, a lot of relationships are really just Workshop Relationships or Starter Marriages and aren't designed to go the distance even if the couple uses his books.

Beautifully put.

I'll give an example of this from my own marriage: about four years ago, following the sudden death of my father, I started having grievous psychological problems. Crippling anxiety, days of insomnia, panic, paranoia...you name it. I would also have spells where I felt very reckless, very violent, very out of control.

This naturally translated into serious problems in my marriage. Mr. CG loved me enough to stick around, but things couldn't have continued on that course.

Talk therapy/marriage counseling would not have helped at all.

It turns out that I am manic depressive. Bipolar I. Until that time, I was undiagnosed, and it took the trauma of losing my dad to bring it to the forefront.

I didn't need talk therapy with Mr. CG...I needed lithium!

I know that Dr. Shill says that they thoroughly check each guest, but frankly, I have to wonder. Stacy is a great example of a guest who I think has a real cesspool of monsters hiding behind her slutty smile. There is a lot more going on there and all of Shill's folksy platitudes won't make a dent. It makes for marginal television, but these are lives we are talking about here.

I'm one of the lucky ones. I got a great psychiatrist (meds) and therapist right off the bat. It can take a mentally ill person years to find the help that he or she needs. And believe me, one poor therapist or one uniformed psychiatrist can do a world of damage. It can be a matter of life or death.

As for Dr. Phil being a conservative Christian, I know plenty of them who would disagree because of a show he did last year...he had a guy on the show who was gay and DP was telling him "God made him that way and he didn't need to feel ashamed about it" and more to that effect.

Well, having grown up in a family of conservative Christians, I can tell you this is NOT the thinking of conservative and evangelical Christians. They believe homosexuality is wrong, against God, etc. (just repeating what I've heard all my life from them, not that it's right or wrong...but that is the 'party line' among conservative Christians; and in the Protestant religion community, it's only really liberal churches that embrace gays/lesbians).

So while DP may lean conservative in some areas (abortion, etc.), I can tell you he ain't a conservative Christian when it comes to the gay/lesbian issue...so I wouldn't peg him that way. (Likewise, I know women who are pro-life but not religious at all. They base their beliefs on other things besides religion so it's not just religious folks who think conservatively on some issues...).

One last comment: I haven't been watching DP lately as the show has become so nauseating but does anything else think the show is like an informercial now? I swear, every time a guest talks, they mention how much "this book from DP" or "Jay's book - thank you so much for writing it" helped me. On the weight loss show on Monday, half the guests mentioned one of those books every other minute. It felt completely like an informercial where folks are paid to endorse the product...Anyone else?!

YES!!!!

Every time I see Jay's pic I throw up a little in my mouth.

I think today's episode was a repeat it but it was actually pretty funny because pretty much all of the mothers were out to lunch!

Dr. Phil's comment to the mother of 13 Year Old Non-Teeter-Totterer on him "not seeing any covered wagons drivin' by" cracked me up and the editing they did to magnify the drama and fury of the Drama Queen was pretty good.

Honestly, I don't see why so many parents are so conservative about when their kids start dating. Dating isn't the problem, but a poor understanding about diseases, pregnancy, birth-control, the law, and rushing into sex with the wrong people is. You can't hope to arbitrarily stop them from having sex, but you can try and get them to delay it until they are ready enough and with a good enough person.

The one thing I didn't agree with was his assertion that ADD Boy should be left in his pee-soaked clothes to teach him a lesson and I thought him telling the father to take time-off from work or find a different job was ridiculous. Because, Dr. Phil, yeah, I can just TOTALLY see that guy in his 12 hour a day demanding career -- and in his role of sole bread winner for that family -- waltzing into his boss's office and informing him that he needed time-off to spend with his son. That would certainly go over well in a modern workplace that cares nothing for families and demands relentless levels of work and competition from employees... NOT!

I also thought the hubbie was waaay too cute to be with so homely a wife!

As for the gays and abortion issue, whatever his politics, Dr. Phil seems to avoid having gays on the show pretty much all the time. I don't know whether it's because:

A) He personally has issues with them.

B) He doesn't, but he is smart enough to realized that many in his fan-base probably do.

But this abortion thing bugs me.

Why wasn't it even discussed as more of a viable option for Alex to consider? Has no one in this family heard of Seasonal Depo-Provera Injections or Norplant or the Pill? As I recall, the way it was framed was either that she would either keep the baby or give it up for adoption. I was also ready to hurl when Katherine sniffed that felt her sister was a slut for not waiting to have sex until she was married.

First of all, while I generally think that it's good for a couple to wait until they are sufficiently emotionally involved to start having sex, I don't think engagement and marriage should be doors that they have to go through to get to it.

Pre-marital sex isn't the enemy, but sex without intimacy/caring/respect, STD's, unplanned pregnancies, and shot-gun marriages are.

I feel as if the conservative maxim to wait until your wed (which they usually expect only of women) puts too much pressure on people to commit to partners, marriages, families, and lives that they aren't ready for and that may not be suited for them at all in a desperate rush to get laid without guilt. After they do marry and then get laid, all the issues they didn't examine or resolve are waiting for them after the in-love and orgasmic high wears off.

Professor Soap, maybe abortion wasn't discussed with Alex because it was not an option in their home. I know that sounds odd given how dysfunctional this family is, but some folks are totally against it and so perhaps for that family, it was either keeping the baby or giving it up. Just because it's available and popular with many doesn't mean it is for all.

Maybe it was that way with Alex herself, not just Marty/Erin. Maybe teens these days are against abortion in way larger numbers than folks in their 20's and older (I volunteer with teens and have also seen these numbers in recent studies), so I could believe that.

I have known a few teens who got preggers and this was the case; even knew one gal who got preggers in college but didn't want to keep the child (but didn't believe in abortion either; it was her decision despite her parents telling her perhaps an abortion would be best. She gave the child to a couple in Texas who gave the baby a stable home).

If that was the case (abortion not being an option at all) - and I'm sure DP would have sussed this info out before going on air - then that's why I could see it not being raised as an option since it wasn't.

Professor Soap:

Alex said once that her mother didn't believe in birth-control for a 15-year-old. I don't know if Erin's opinion has changed. If Alex were my kid, she'd on the Pill faster than you can say Ortho-TriCyclin.

Was the parenting show a repeat or a follow-up? If the latter, no-one has improved.

I can deal with people not believing that abortion is an option for them as long they don't try and take away other people's right to choose.

I actually wish there was a way people could elect to transfer their fetuses to someone else who might not be able to naturally conceive because that way there could be the convenience of an abortion without the ending of potential life, a sort of fetal adoption. I think many people would prefer to do open-adoptions without people who need babies but (correctly) fear the level of attachment and complication a pregnancy and delivery will entail for them at that point in their lives.

However, I myself am a pro-choice and have had MANY friends who have had abortions and while they all remain convinced it was the absolute right thing they were all emotional messes afterwards. It wasn't even because of guilt or anything like that, it was just traumatic as an experience.

I just hate it when these show's act like abortion doesn't exist as an option.

Repeat. They did have some of these guests on for a follow-up a few weeks later, including the parents of the baby drama queen, whose behavior had improved, as I recall.

Professor Soap, with all due respect, I don't think anyone doesn't know of the option of abortion...but it has become so common nowadays that many folks don't even think of adoption as an option (I know girls and young women who have routinely had abortions when they got preggers - one had three by her mid-20's and the other had 2 by mid-20's). Thus, the dearth of white babies available.

So I hardly think Dr. Phil is taking anyone's option away - after all, the folks on his show can do what they want, not what he says/implies is best (remember, he wanted Alex to give the baby up for adoption, but she didn't).

Yeah, and I'm still pissed about that. Little Nathan deserves to be more than a trophy, and that's how he is treated as far as I can see. "Let's walk through the mall...we're celebrities!" Uh, no. You're a stupid skank who should have loved her son enough to give him a better life.

I continue to agree with Professor Soap, my fiance/fiancee, that the DP show has a tangible anti-abortion slant. My tentacles are mighty atuned to that sort of thing, and at times, I feel uncomfortable. I guess it's because I believe that Roe v. Wade 1973 is in real peril in the United States. Abortion should always be an option given (unless there are religious objections) as long as it's available. Available, safe, and legal, that is.

BibiBela, I went to high school with a girl who had FIVE abortions in four years. FIVE. When I asked her why she simply didn't go on birth control, her answer was a chillingly simple, "Why?" It turns out that her parents would basically disown her if she had gone to Planned Parenthood for the pill. And of course, she never asked her lovers to wear condoms...they might not like her that way (ever hear of HIV?). I suggested that perhaps she should lay off sex for a while. She changed the subject, and soon after the conversation, got knocked up with #4.

complicatedgirl, even worse than the girl you knew in high school who had five abortions in four years (which probably left her infertile - multiple abortions can do that) are the two gals I referenced in my post. They were both on their own, in their 20's, able to secure birth control without parental interference...but they didn't.

I haven't notice a pro-life slant to DP...but then that's probably because I tend to be more pro-life than pro-abortion. It is his show, however, and since he takes stances on all manner of issues (where folks might say that he didn't offer 'other' options, just this kind of option or that kind), it's his option to do what he feels is right...and if folks don't like the advice, they don't have to take it or they don't have to go on the show. Not like someone's hog-tying them to go on the program and/or follow his exact advice.

And if folks think DP is the only source of any info about serious subjects, then God help them...

Well first of all, abortion wouldn't be nearly as risky if we used the abortion pill (with close medical supervision) and didn't insist on making it an invasive procedure.

I think the issue is that Dr. Phil likes to portray himself as a cutting-edge / informed / up-on-the-latest-research 21st Century teacher and moral voice and when it comes to stuff like family economics, addiction, and discipline he frequently delivers the goods which is why it's just so shocking when he never discusses abortion as a viable option to consider and gives the impression that he looks askance at it.

Like that couple who "made the terrible mistake" of having an abortion, why couldn't Dr. Phil discuss how abortion can be a positive thing too?

Maybe I'm taking this possibly off handed comment waaay too personally, but as a plain-ish woman married to a fairly hot guy, if I had a nickel for everytime someone said something like this about us as a couple? I'd be a frickin' millionaire. I'm just sayin'.

If you were truly plain-ish -- or if he truly perceived you as being that way -- I very much doubt he (your guy) would have been interested in you unless he was forced to marry and stay with you at gun-point or on pain-of-death.

Give yourself and your attractiveness some credit.

Anyway, others and he may think she (Homely Girl) is a Great Beauty, that was just my personal opinion.

Besides, I was discussing it from an evolutionary biology slant, because animals and people both usually hook up with someone within their own league although there may be complimentary trade-offs. He and she did not add up to me.

The reason I thought they were interesting is because while women are notorious for selecting less then attractive guys with the trade-off being resources, connections, and power, men (especially successful/handsome ones) are usually very picky about hooking up with women they consider to be attractive and he was quite attractive.

Maybe because he doesn't think it can be a positive thing? Dr. Phil doesn't have to show both sides of every issue-he is there to give his opinions and advice.

Yes, but he makes SUCH a point of explaining how open-minded and well-informed he is that it smacks of hypocrisy for him to pick and choose where he does it.