Damn, did Dr. Phil ever hate the women he had on today -- the prostitute and the pill addict. Complete brow-beating and bullying, with absolutely NO helpful advice. Not that I would expect anything more, but... Why so mean, Dr. Phil?

Because you can't spell "patriarchal, bullying, dimwitted asshole with dubious credentials and qualifications" without spelling "Dr. Phil."

I've been giving bullshit advice to people for years. Why am I not making millions of dollars?

I missed the hooker woman--damn, I would've loved to have seen far away shots of a producer standing behind Robin with his hands over Robin's ears lest she be tainted--but I did catch the Vicodan woman. 15 minutes of backstory, has tried to quit many times, holds down 2 jobs, gets her kids where they need to go and desperately wants to change, so much that she is laying her soul embarassingly bare on national TV. And BAM!!!! Shill starts verbally berating her, pounding her into the frickin' ground. It was like POW!! and all of a sudden he starts wailing on her--uselessly, since she realized all this already--about driving a mini van with kids in it while high and what if she crashes into him? T O T A L L Y useless and innappropriate and mean mean mean. This is the behavior Shill needs to roll out on the guests who don't want to change, think there're not that bad, have been forced to come here, etc. God I loathe him.

I need an exorcisim, last night I dreamt I was on the Dr. Phulofit show. I don't recall why I was on but I remember getting a hug from Dr.P, it was alot like having a mattress fall on you. I need an exorcism so I will never have this dream again.
OT, ITA that he was so mean to those women, he should save that for the ones who deserve it like suck hole man. Not ones who already are contrite.

Hard to kick a woman when she's standing on her own two feet. Too bad that fate did not slot Phil into the one job where he could do no harm, a benign greeter doing howdy duty at a Dallas Wal-Mart.

And now that BBjay is officially engaged to his Dahm triplet, I have got to find out where they're registered.

PS Phil IS a cobra.

I do not want Shill greeting me at Wal-Mart. I rather be greeted by a cobra.

I really felt bad for that woman on Vicodin. I've heard the drug is highly addictive. And for someone in her state of mind it wasn't shocking she was abusing.
Of course good ole Dr. Shill made her feel even worse than she already did.
I wonder do any of the guests have it in themselves to tell him to shut the fuck up? Or do they feel like having an opinion might mean they don't want help thus encouraging Shill, and his drone audience, to berate them even more?

The people on his show are sad. It's almost tragic that shrinks are so expensive that anyone would subject themselves to him for 45 minutes and a bunch of commercials.

And simply yells back at her all the things she's already said about herself. It's almost as if . . . he . . . wasn't . . . LISTENING.

Jay is engaged to a Dahm triplet. I'm sure there will be a very special Jay's Wedding episode.

I often wonder that too. I imagine any confrontations where Phil comes off bad are edited out of the show, which must come as a major disadvantage to coming on the show.

I must say that I have less and less sympathy for the guests that come on the show. At first, I found it so appalling that people would basically expose their stories, even the obvious and desperate famewhores, only to be exploited by Phil for ratings. But now that the show has been on for a few years, and people can see the way Phil runs the show and handles his guests, people coming on the show must have some idea of what's going to happen. They have some idea of what they're getting into and for that reason I can't feel too sorry for them when Phil berates them. I guess, on the whole, I still feel it's a damn shame that Phil exploits these people for ratings. Is he really helping them? I don't know. But I can certainly say that his solutions aren't going to help every person out there with the same problem. Have a kid with a drug addiction? Phil will send him/her to the best detox center in America! Do you think the countless parents, or families, with members abusing substances can afford that? Probably not.

I wonder if Dad paid for that. Or, more likely, if Dad got it for free in exchange for some kind of promotion.



Well, of course, you did, Jay. Because no woman has the right to make that decision herself without her father's permission. And I can just guess what was going through her father's head when Jay asked him for her hand, "Well, every junior high kid in America has already jerked off to her naked pictures, so I guess this dork is the best she's likely to do."

I wish my dad was a zillionaire so I could be dopey looking and marry Playboy chicks. I guess I should go to school to become a professional witness, get on Oprah (the show, not the woman (YIKES!)), get my own useless TV show so I can get my kids hooked up.

Well, I'm sort of horrible, so I like to think that there is a whole nother layer to the McGraw Family total acceptance of a future daughter-in-law who has shown her cooch to millions. For one, if Jay McGraw was just Jay McFatass from Podunk, and was seeking Phil's counsel about marrying a centerfold, Phil would be incandescent with hate and hubris. "You want the MOTHER OF YOUR CHILDREN to have appeared nekkid in a men's magazine so oily men in polyester slacks could hang her picture up behind the grease rack? What happens when your son reaches the age of horny and says,'Look Dad what I found in an antique dirty store.' Is that what you want for your WIFE?!!!"

So we know Phil was not happy with one of the Dahm titlets joining the family for Easter brunch. Kitty? Well Kitty probably has harbored hopes since the day of Jay's first grade school crush that he would bring home a petite, slight fiancee, who lowered her eyes in the presence of men and lacquered her hair before the garden party and agonized over china patterns and towel nap and nutcrackers, who lived only to be a McGraw cypher woman, all fertile and sweet and form-fitting. When Jay floated the idea of an over-ripe, over-exposed exclamation point of a young woman as his bride I'm sure Kitty shut down. Stopped eating her Splenda-cake and forewent eye make-up and climbed out on the south balcony with intent to jump into the roses below. There was probably no warning.

So, I believe that Jay has some big ole dirt on Dad. Big dirt. Like Woodward and Bernstein, Fanne Fox, Fatty Arbuckle, silent alarm at Neverland kind of dirt. And our prodigal son with the wide-load jeans knew exactly what buttons to push and what cards to reveal so that Dad would happily sign the deed to the mansion, give his blessing to a skin magazine daughter-in-law and finance every brittle idea that flaps around in Jay's head. Yes. And the goods are enough to get Kitty to remain mute, select a bridal shower theme and lower the xanax down to the dosage that keeps her on her feet and off of the ledge. Of course, I may be wrong. But something stinks in McGraw town and it aint faux nanner pie.

No, you're not... I mean, serliously? Kitty happy with this all? Ofcourse not! Didn't she say a couple of months ago that she didn't expect (maybe she meant want) Jay to get married in another 10 years? And isn't $hill totally against people getting married before 30?

Maybe this is what we've all been waiting for: the beginning of the end of $hill & Co.


Would it be possible to trace back the camel Gemmadoll, may she rest in peace, had her fatal accident with?? I think I'd rather die that watch that. You know it's gonna be all tacky and classless, even though it'll probably cost more than what it takes to feed half of Africa for a year.

You've got to admit it though, it's a match made in heaven.

parsleysage, you are so right, I don't understand how could forget such a thing, I am deeply ashamed of myself. I would flagellate myself with a wooden shoe, if I knew what flagellate means. But I don't, so I let myself be hit on the head by a windmill 10 times, followed by an attempt to scream "I love America, Dubya and $hill" a 100 times, but after the 23th time they had to take me to the hospital. I hope I suffered enough for my terrible, terrible mistake, and that you, and everyone else will forgive me.

Might I offer these choices?:
1. MyPleasure.com
2. Fredericks of Hollywood
3. drugstore.com (for KY Jelly and Vaseline Intensive Care Lotion)
I have a feeling that Shill will be saying alot of "The good people at....(insert Tiffany & Co., Bulgari, Harry Winston, Kay Jewelers, etc) during future shows.
Mutya, Mutya, when you say that you are supposed to add "may she rest in peace..." Haven't you learned that yet? Now go flagellate yourself with a wooden shoe.

Hopefully now that DP's daughter-in-law is, errr, well, exposed for everyone to see her he will now stop lording his parenting skills and his family's 'superior morality' over every1... as if their family was better than any1 else's in the first place...
As for Robin she probably envisaged Jay bringing home a clone of herself with whom she could spend girl time baking, and picking out floral print wallpaper, and is probably in 'a glass cage of emotions' right now, judging from her crying fit when Jay went to college. I agree that this is the beginning of the end for DP & co. Isn't the only thing that DP has going for him his wholesome family image?

Oh and by the way I wonder how Granny McGraw will feel about being escorted to church by Ms Dahm:

Hmmmm....

I totally agree. This is a major crack in the facade. I personally could not care less if a woman wants to pose nude in Playboy (alongside her two naked sisters, though? Eek). But what is the perfect son from the perfect family doing hanging out with such salacious people to begin with? Shouldn't he be off working for the Peace Corps? Or at the very least, plagiarizing another one of Big Daddy's books and slapping his name on it?

Oh, my. I think this may just be the most interesting season ever. Kitty is heading for the nervous breakdown to end all nervous breakdowns. Shill has already mentioned to the press that she's having problems with Jordan going off to college--this mess with Jay and his sweet patootie is going to send her right over the edge. And no truckload of collectible nutcrackers is going to help, this time.

Let's start a campaign to make the McGraws the next FUF--they're at least as screwed up as any of the others. Bring in that guy from the audience who's ghostwritten all of Shill's books to do the honors. And we'll all just sit back and enjoy the glorious trainwreck.

Can't wait to see this unfold ...Just a thought: I imagine Bold and the Beautiful will completely lose its audience to DP over the next season (if it is a riveting as we predict it to be) ... why watch Stephanie try and get rid of Brooke to save the Forrester family when you can see Robin try and cut Ms Dahm out of the picture in real life? That is, if Robin has the mental capacity to do so ... we all know she's so botoxed-up she won't be able to use any of Queen Stephanie's scornful expressions.

hee hee, the TV Guide guy cracks me up.



www.tvguide.com

I guess this means no more shows about porn addiction. I can just imagine a conversation with a husband that some wife has dragged on to the show and the "Dr." is yelling at him that the women he is objectifing are someone daughter or sister and the husband adds "or wife". I'm sorry, sometimes I can be evil.

I wonder if the show will ever rerun the show "Is internet porn cheating"?

I think Kitty would have been a good guest on yesterday's show about hoarders. The only difference between her nutcracker collection and the second guest's Rubbermaid bins full of tchotchkes from Marshall's and Ross is the fact that Phil is a zillionaire and doesn't have to worry about her credit card bills.

Not to mention the fact that with all the square footage in that McMansion of theirs (and with Jordan off to college, his room's ripe for storage--if she hasn't already turned it into a shrine), Shill probably doesn't have to look at the damn nutcrackers unless he takes a trip over to the nutcracker wing.

We have a family member who has collected Santas over the years to the point that every horizontal surface in her very large home is covered with 'em. Her garage is unusable because it is filled with the neatly stacked and labeled boxes that said Santas came in. Because, ya know, they're not worth NEARLY as much without the boxes they came in.

She's a prime candidate for Shill's righteous indignation--but not Kitty. No, sirree, nope, not her.

Bastard.

Wow, KettlePorn. You've got him down cold. It's scary, because I can really hear him saying that. I wonder if Dr. Phil gave that speech to Jay. I hope they tape Ms. Dahm's transformation from ex-Playboy model to Robin Stepford Flanders Jr. That should be interesting.

I'm confused. Was this after the Saturday night he spent with his Playboy gf he wasn't married to? Because surely such an upstanding young man would NOT be having "relations" out of wedlock!

Dimes to donuts this thing gets ugly back at the ranch and the wedding never happens. As DrP would say, "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!". Translated for Jaybird: Your choice.... the bunny or the money.

Kitty has a nutcracker collection? Paging Dr. Freud...

You all know that Dr. Phill & his family have already talked about how they're gonna sugar coat the situation to the public if asked about the playmate past of his future daughter-in-law. He's probably gonna say, "all that is in the past and she is no longer like that anymore. when she posed nude in a magazine she was very depressed and not in her right state of mind. she has now decided to change her life and become a better christian...." and continue to ramble on with his well thought out and scripted speech.

Ok so I'm watching the news today and they go to commercial and then the best thing ever happend. A Shill commercial came on!

"Starting next month the biggest thing to happen to prime time television. Dr. Phill at 7:00pm!"

At first I was like WTF? this isn't the regular Shill channel but then I remember that NBC dosn't want him anymore so he had to find a new station. So he moved to the worst possible station..even worse then UPN. KCal 9....where there best show is reruns of 'Family Fued' with Al from 'Home Improvement'. Way to move up Shill.

Just like they sugar coated the guy Sandra Bullock married. He was previously wed to a porn star..not just a nekked centerfold, A PORN STAR. Oh my, can you imagine Dr Phil handling that.......?

I guess that "past behavior" being the "surest indicator" of future behavior is moot when it comes to artfully spreading out the life source for cash in a men's magazine. I say this young woman will take to McGraw life like a cat to a carwash, and before the thank-you notes are written we'll see her on Hard Copy, telling all comers about the "prison" of her "twisted marriage" to "pop shrink" McGraw's son, the "ample buttocked star of his own reality show." I mean, I hope so.

I guess the poor trashy Texan in the Mcgraw family has finally reared it's ugly head. And I must say I am going to enjoy every single minute of it.
I can just imagine Kitty at the wedding when the Dahm triplet walks down the aisle in a low cut, sequined, pink(because we know she is far away from white...Hell, let's just say the dress is red) gown. Will Kitty object or will she lower head, refuse to make eye contact, and wear her Miss America smile like she always does?

Well, only in America can someone be born into the family of an incompetent, country bama ass, shrink and wind up plagurizing several best sellers(which become best sellers again), get a segment on a highly rated(why its highly rated is still a mystery on par with the existence of UFO's) television talk show, and end up marrying a former playboy bunny.

Hmmm, maybe Jay Magraw is the smartest man in the world?

As a proud Texan, I must point out that the McGraws are originally from Oklahoma. They were well on their way to crazy when they got here.

Not that we're all sane--jus' sayin'.

Oh I understand. I was born, raised, and attend college in Houston.

The Magraw's are just morons. and I grew up next door to people like that.

And as a proud Oklahoman, I must say that the majority of us are not mindless simple fucktards like Dr. $hill. We apologize for this blight upon society.

The most beautiful part of the new McGraw daughter-in-law's resume is that we've seen this before. From one of Phil's earliest Oprah appearances when he was tightly laced and sober and decidedly the moral authority of all he surveyed sans hokey expressions and pone. He held forth about the terrible error of Oprah's guest, a young woman who wanted--in her words-- to get out of the skin industry and "follow a path paved with bricks of gold." I remember this because Oprah took that purple phrase and shook it, clutched it to her bosom, wet it with tears. "That's so BEAUTIFUL!" she crowed.

But Phil was having none of it. Who was Tell it Like it Is Phil? A man with no ability to smile. Or forgive. Or respect. "Sounds real nice girlie, but first we by God gotta get you to keep your clothes on!" Then he stared at her as if she had been caught trying to pick his pocket. She looked down in submission. He won.

The follow up showed young skin woman in a Harvard sweatshirt, strolling across a grassy expanse of campus. Oprah and Phil had made the woman's dreams come true. HAR--VARD!! Only not. She was auditing a course and the producers had bought her the shirt and set it all up, but she had definitely decided to turn toward academics and away from prophylactics somewhere down the road. Another Oprah success story, scaffolded by the mystical stern advice of Dr Phil. Yay! So he got a show. But so did David Blaine. Because illusions are fun until you figure them out.

"He said, 'I've been thinking about it for a long time now how much I love you,' and I said, 'I love you too' and just thought he was being cute," Erica says. "But he got down on one knee and I thought 'Oh gosh, this is real.' And he said, 'I can't wait anymore, will you marry me?' And I said, 'Are you kidding?' He said, 'No I'm not,' and I said 'yes'!"

GOOD LORD! And then he said, and then I said, and then he said, and then I said, blah blah blah.
Not that I can do much better than that, but at least I have an excuse: english is not my native language. I just really hope she just temporarily lost her mind due to happiness or something.


Have fun! I hereby wish everybody a happy $hill downfall time, let it be long and painfull! I got myself a great bottle of wine and asked my former boss (a chef) to make me some nice snacks. Tomorrow I'm gonna buy a bottle of champagne, for when $hills finally receives his last blow, I can't wait!

Who watched today? Day-um, he isn't even trying to hide his hatred of women anymore. It's all right out there in the open. Maybe she drinks and takes drugs because she's trapped with an abusive husband and three grown boys who have learned to emulate the father. She is clinically depressed. I would be, too. But let's yell at her and put the fate of the family on her shoulders! Bad wife! bad, bad wife! You sing in your chains like Kitty! And what's going to happen after she sobers up? She still has to go back to an abusive home. But let's not talk about that.

And speaking of Kitty, she's really unnaturally upset about the kid going off to college. It's not normal. We just sent our son to college last week, so I know it's sad, but she's over the top. Maybe because there's no more kids around to distract her from what she married?

I did think he was yelling at that woman today because he felt he had to get through her drug-induced haze. She just seemed not at all there even as he going through all the crap that was happening at that house.

Did anyone else have the urge to call Andrew and invite him to live with your normal (well, relatively speaking) family? I felt so bad for him.

A subtle and effective (and wise) change occurred on drphil.com today. Notice that the 'Disapprove of your child's marriage?' topic mysteriously disappeared from 'Share Your Story' topics.. a coincidence? I don't think so. Humerous? Extremely.

Maybe they are saving that to turn it into an "Ask DrP & Robin!!" show.
uuuugggghhhhh.....

Good call!!

Re BigButt's upcoming nuptials, I cannot WAIT. I need a ringside seat to the whole fiasco.

Presumably her two sisters will be her maids of honor. I did a Google search for "dahm triplets" and turned up their "video centerfold," which is available for a mere $18 on Amazon.com. Gotta love this user review:

That review is HILARIOUS! Doesn't sound like the type of daughter-in-law that's gonna bother with faux nanner pie. So when does DrP do the episode about men who think with their other head? ;-)
Then again, I get the feeling that deep down inside DrP personally finds this all very "exciting". Between the new d-in-law and Robin, the cost of this battle to look the youngest could rebuild N.O.

Can we really call them "maids"?

... of "honor"?

This could be the first wedding in history where the bride & her sisters double as entertainment at the bachelor party.

I'm just thinking of all the times as I've heard Phil give the "That's somebody's DAUGHTER" speech to anyone who commits the grave sin of enjoying porn. This year, he can say, "That's somebody's daughter... or DAUGHTER-IN-LAW."

I, for one, am going to enjoy all of the back pedaling, excuse making and word-smithing that will be going on in the near future. Does all of that make up that DrP wears, sufficiently plug sweat glads?

Edited because my punctuation needs work?