My mom says this, but substitute "church" for "school" and "a Christian" for "smart."

Oh yeah, women hate being single Phil. Glad you arranged row after row of desperate women then trucked in a stream of rose-carrying men to the antique notes of "It's Rainin' Men." Who says that fossilized sex roles aren't good for entertainment? Not I and not Kitty. We were transfixed.

Loved The Dating Game. So precious. Phil, I especially liked how you had the hot blonde who probably turns down a dozen guys a week ask those pre-arranged questions for laughs just like on the original Dating Game, and Phil? I liked when you said,"Not a damn thing!" to the question of what a physical goddess might do to offend because if you're a beautiful woman you really can get away with shoplifting or screaming like a harridan or leaving dirty panties on top of the toothbrushes. Good to give homely broads a thing or two to think about. (Plus I think she liked you, Bree-the-hot-blonde, only Kitty was all bitch lights so she chose the guy under 60 with hair. But you? She likey!)

Finally, I love how Aged Ken was all "Women LIE!" and you were all,"Darn tootin'!" because we sometimes fudge the truth about our looks,unlike men, who if they are on the far side of 50 and wearing a toupee and ill-fitting dentures and maybe a merkin over their half-inchers are pretty direct about it and tell women right up front on the web page.

Don't know why women do this. I mean it isn't like doors slam in our faces the moment we begin to wrinkle or sag or add padding to our hips. It's not like we are judged by impossible standards of beauty that...What? Oh. Yeah well. We should stop doing that exaggerating thing then, especially those of us whom the Compassionate Therapist McGraw might refer to as, ahem,"Nine miles of bad road." Ha Ha. Ugly women. Think they're PEOPLE. Hee.

You hit bottom, Cousin Phil. Please stop digging.

To piggyback on KettlePorn's comments;

Thanks Phil for completely ignoring the existence of homosexuals who might like to date. I mean, our society has totally been overwhelmed by those deviant gays throwing their non-Family First (see how I worked your book into this? Can I be on your show?) lifestyles, so I'm glad you focused only on reasonably attractive, thoroughly normal-looking heterosexual women (and one old man) who are desperate to date. Anyone. Because of your overwhelming wisdom (is it any wonder we on TWoP call you Lord God Phil?), I am now convinced that, because I am a silly 'mo, I will never have any type of logical, sensible dating experience and, as such, will never experience the HETEROSEXUAL BLISS that you fabulous guys experience on Valentine's Day.

Thanks, Lord God Phil. You and Kitty are fuckin' geniuses.

Oh, and just in case you didn't get this, LGPhil, the above was Extreme Sarcasm.

If anyone can figure out WTF was the purpose of today's show on "dating", PLEASE post it here.
I swear they need to air that show on QVC because everytime I turn it on, he's trying to sell me something.

That poor sap who "won" the Dating Game-thingy was obviously too much of a good guy for Ms. Independence. She had the personality of a packing peanut. So basically the moral of the story that DrP totally missed is that you can't judge someone by a couple of flakey-ass questions?
And as for gramps tho claims "women lie", I agree with the other posters who caught that. Yeah, right, guys don't lie? What a bunch of crapola.

It's beyond evident by how this board has slowed to a crawl that DrP's schtick is getting tiresome. And that's an understatement.

It looks like it's rerun season over in Phil-land -- we already rehashed the dating show a few months ago. I had just about managed to put it out of my mind, but this particular moment of heterosexual horror was brought back to me by this hilarious post:

Loved that Dr. $hill gave the older couple tickets to the Pantages theAtre..spoken like the true hillbilly that he his.

drummouse, I bet it was a product placement by match.com...or am I too cynical?

No, you're not.

Uhm... question. Ok, so I guess some people in the big US of A thought it was necessary to export the dr. $hil show. Guess it are the ratings. But the dr. $hill jr. show??? WHY?WHY?WHY? Why torture the rest of the world? What did we do? I know we said "no" to the european constitution and all, but do we have to be punished for that? Why? Is it something we said? Did we say something wrong about Bush? Is he after us? It's our drugs policy isn't it? Or maybe he didn't like his breakfast when he was here? Or our queens hair? Or maybe $hill is behind all of this... maybe he wants to "cure" us? Or mabye he wants to throw our royal family out, and crown himself king? But WHY??? WHY??? WHY???[/hysteria]

Anyway, I know I'll be watching.

Edited to add this:

Uhg.. so true! Just look here $hill and Kitty are board members, and so is Kitty's sister! Makes me wonder who the other persons are....

Board Members:

W. Scott Madsen — Probably not this guy.

Jan Miller —

There's more at this cached link of Texas Monthly.

Can't narrow down Danny Moore.

You people are right. His foundation is full of shit. If this bastard really gives a damn about helping children, he would of help that little girl that Mikai has molested & raped instead of helping that patheic loser. He will also have more inner city children on his program. Its not like he gives a damn about them. People in the ghetto have problems too, but I don't see them on his show.

Besides, if I ever have an out-of-control kid, I will never send him to Dr. Phil. I'll send him to Maury Povich. At least Maury gives a damn about the inner city.

Sure tootin'!! Why, becuase of Maury, the entire inner city now knows who is related to who genetically!

As long as $hill's is a nonprofit, charitable foundation, then its operating expenses should be an open book. I think that's required by law (federal? state?); maybe some lawyer here on the forum can comment. With some digging we should be able to find out the salaries that the board members are paid.

$hill made his book agent a board member. Tack-EE. Gee, no one goes hungry at $hill's trough.

Dr. Phil said today that the same sex parent is the most powerful role model in a child's life (I know, fie on me that I am actually recalling this like it matters). For any of you who have sociology degrees, is this true?

Lately I've been picking up an interesting vibe from $hill...more and more, he's distancing himself from any responsibility in the advice he's doling out. Sure, he's always been careful to give out the "Don't substitute my advice for your own good judgment" yada yada yada, and - of course - there's that release in his credits that this is an entertainment show blah blah blah. Today, however, set off all my alarms. While speaking with the couple with the troubled son, all of whom are already in counseling, the way $hill copped out by insisting he was merely working "in consort" with what was already taking place (read that to mean he didn't want to step on the toes of those who really know what they're doing) indicated a huuuuuuge "WaHooooo, don't blame me if you follow my advice" attitude on his part.

In other words, sit on your a$$ giving out advice for an hour a day, glean the glory of being the all-knowing Dr. $hill, create a bogus foundation to which the public is being asked to donate so that $hill can merely redistribute other's funds, foist his phugly phamily on the world in the hopes of furthering their potential careers, and use all this as a platform to sell mega-tons of Phil's Phenomenal Phamily books to a braindead and brainwashed public - all without taking any responsibility or smacks-to-the-head for the pablum he attempts to forcefeed to the world on a daily basis. Shame, shame, shame on you, $hill, for actually realizing that you're personally full of crap, but too dependent on the spoils to 'fess up and get the hell out of the bid'ness.

He learned to love show business when he and the cousins toured with the McGraw All-Jug No Hair Band. Hard to get the stage out of your system.

I'd like to see the "Foundation's" financial report, too, especially the salaries.



I doubt this. I also find the use of "now" in that sentence very odd. What was happening with the contributions previously?

You raise an interesting point. The word now is very odd there.
The rest of the sentence is "...instead of lining the pockets of Dr. Phil and his bobble-headed wife."

Check it out:

http://www.globemagazine.com/

Why is it that I was much more upset that that woman punched her dog than the fact that she kneed her husband? I wanted to smack her into next week through the TV set.

Snarrrrrl...the first woman made a great, intelligent point. That she didn't want to live that way. That she realized if she left that chances were she'd fall into another abusive relationship. And that it wasn't fair to her husband or his future relationships to leave things unsolved.

And Lord God Phil couldn't STAND to have her make a well-reasoned non-victimy point, so he stomped on her. "We're talking about YOU here." Translation: I'M talking and YOU should be listening and bobbling your empty head. yarrrghhhhhhhhhhhhh

If it's a 501c3, it's 990 (report to the IRS) is a public document and they have to make it available to anyone who requests it. you can also go here, but depending on when the foundation was started, it could be next fall before any public information is available; non-profits have until July 15th to file their IRS paperwork.

And since I opened the newspaper this morning I honestly believe that's not enough.

The case: a woman and her boyfriend are on trail for killing her 3 year old daughter. The girl was probably abused and underfed (she was 24 lbs when she died) since the day she was born. So, what does the prosecution want? 3 years and a indefinite time in a metal institution (ahhh welcome to the netherlands, the country where you can go to holiday inn jail for a couple of months for terrible crimes) Her comment? She thought it wasn't really necessary to get that much treatment, since she's made some real progress... she's been watching Dr. Phil and the nanny ya know...

If you ask me, a big fat flashing warming sign with a really loud alarm going of before the show would be more appropriate

Absolutely. How about a disclaimer such as: This program is strictly for entertainment purposes. None of the advice, rhetoric, adages nor declarations by the host should be taken as fact. This caveat extends to any advice offered by representatives of Phil McGraw, his family, his wealthy friends, anyone with a dubious professional background who is hawking a book, camp, school, program, seminar , diet supplement or vacation. This warning also includes anyone to whom the entities "Phil McGraw," "DR. Phil McGraw," or "Phil GodAlmighty" has ever been associated with in business, private, recreation,backyard barbecues or at the business end of one of his unseemly sexual advances...

...Please be aware that the aforementioned McGraw entities, this station, the US Congress, the American Psychological Association, Texas, Caucasians, men with booger-specked moustaches, mysoginists, Republicans, throw-backs, self-deluded twits and the Association of Fat Middle-Aged Men in Ill-Fitting suits neither recommend, encourage nor will swallow whole any of the advice proferred. It is only entertainment, like Vaudeville without vocalists and dancing bears...

...Also, if any viewers of this program ignore said warnings and carry on with any attempt to apply the aforementioned advice, please be aware that our non-responsibility will be absolute and all-encompassing. In legal terms, adherents to McGraw recommendations may be forthwith "advised" that their results are "legally indefensible" and will be advised to "piss" up a "rope..."

...Please remember that anything offered on the Dr Phil Show has as much validity as Charo in a Vegas Revue, and should be considered as such. Failure to adhere to these warnings may result in ill-health, shattered dreams, legal encroachment and severe pomposity. This program is not intended for viewing by juveniles, the economically disasdvantaged, women who thrust their posteriors into size ten jeans and flounce around as if that were "OK" and any woman who believes that she is inherently as worthy as a man. Please be advised that this warning does not, and should not, be construed as all-encompassing. Do not taunt Happy Cue Ball. Legally as well as morally, any skunk with a posey on its tail still might scare Granny off of the porch, and all risks contained therein. Thank you.

Actually, I was glad he called her on that. (God, I hate when I agree with him.) From the time I have spent working at a battered women's shelter I have seen many, many women use this as an excuse why they can't leave their abuser. "If I go he'll just hit the next woman! I'll just get into another bad relationship!" That's all fine and good and probably valid points but when you're getting the snot pounded out of you on a daily basis what you need to think about is your immediate safety and worry about the long term stuff when you're in a safer enviroment.

Not to mention that the whole "stand by your man" mentality never works to get an abuser to change their behavior. (Ok, I guess it could work but I've never seen it happen.) If a woman continues to use various excuses of why she has to stay with her abuser then he'll know not only can he continue with what he's doing but that she'll continue to make excuses to allow it.

So yeah, there's no doubt that both of them need help but 1- it's not her job to help him or to fix him for other women and 2 -she would be better off working on herself in a place where she doesn't have to worry about her physical safety.

This speaks for itself, I think...

NASHVILLE, June 4 (UPI) -- Robin McGraw, wife of syndicated television talk show host, Dr. Phil McGraw, has signed a book contract with Nashville-based Nelson Books.
Set to release in 2006, the book is yet untitled, but is expected to target the female demographic -- the core of Dr. Phil's worldwide audience.
"There is an overwhelming viewer response when Robin appears with Dr. Phil on the show," Jonathan Merkh, senior vice president and publisher of Nelson Books, a division of Thomas Nelson Publishers, said in a statement.
"Viewers continue to embrace Robin's contributions to the show -- whether it be discussing her experiences as a mother, wife or dealing with issues that women face in the many phases of their lives."
The terms of the contract were not revealed.
Entering its fourth season in national syndication, "The Dr. Phil Show" ranks as the No.2 U.S. daytime talk show -- and ranks among the top 10 of all syndicated U.S. television programs. The show is seen in 99.9 percent of the United States as well as 40 territories and countries around the world.

Yeah...the sound of the TWOPers puking...

Absolute WORD to KettlePort and redogue.

What is the sound of two eyes rolling as far back into the head as they can?

Now, I may have to address this to the professionals of the group (timeonmyhands, perhaps?) but is the save-the-marriage approach usually so integral to counselling battered women? Because that theme did not sound right.

"Merkh?" Sounds like "merkin." This might be a hoax, y'all. Everyone stay at your posts while I investigate this. (The thought of Kitty giving us page after glossy page of diet tips and exercise advice and tantric tales of the Phil marriage and maybe full color pics of Kitty in her gorgeous maribou-edged twin sets is more than I can take. Lord don't let it be a lie! She is the Jackie Kennedy of the 21st century!)

Well, I'm not a proffesional, I just did some work at a shelter :) but I can tell you from the experiance I have had that saving the marrige is about the last thing on the list things to do for a battered woman. Now my knowledge of the counseling a battered woman may recieve is pretty limited but I can't imagine that any couselor/therapist worth his beans would tell a woman to stay in an activly abusive realtionship with the hope that the abuser will get some help. I know for a fact that even in cases where the abuser agrees to get help the woman is advised to keep her distance from him for a while until he has really had a chance to get help and change his ways. Unfortunatly what happens many, many times is the abuser says they'll get help (or in this case, go to Dr Phil) and their victim sticks around with nothing more that the slim hope that things will change. Of course, it rarely does but now I'm just going off on a rant about domestic violence in general.

To sum up, Dr Phil is a moron and I find his approach questionable at best and frightening at worst.

Afraid not. Here's a link to the Yahoo News story about the deal.

The big question is, who is going to write Kitty's book for her? Since there's been speculation that Frank Lawlis is the author of both Phil and BBJ's books, I imagine that Kitty will want her very own ghost writer, too.

I've been away at school for the past couple of years, but recently transferred back to my hometown for grad school, so I'm living at home with the parents until I find a place. When I get home from work today, 'lo and behold, the cable's out so I look for something to watch. I pick up one of my family's numerous unlabelled tapes and begin watching. And what to my horrified eyes should appear? $hill telling some poor girl that she's not anorexic, she just displays anorexic-like symptoms. I'm sorry... quoi? This young woman was going for days without solid food, trying to control everything she ate, and panicking over every measly calorie. She finally asks for help and $hill turns her away? Believe it or not, Phil, anorexia and bulimia cannot be cured by a simple extra helping of faux nanner pie. I mean, it's rough enough as it is for people with eating disorders to seek help when the medical profession can be a really misinformed and unsympathetic place for these people. But to chide someone on national tv just for trying to seek help for a problem that is probably quite serious by this point? That's uncontionable. I hope someone sues his ass. Hard.

Full of rage...

This is the most annoying aspect of Dr. Phil (among many annoying aspects). He pretends to be a psychologist. Who has a clue about what the psychological research says. And then he makes these ridiculous pronouncements in a tone of voice that implies that only stupid people would disagree.

One hint that he is clueless is that he makes really definitive statements about very complicated issues. Of course we can't say that one particular person is the primary role model in every child's life. If what he said were true, it would be something we all knew, it would be easy to tell because children would uniformly reflective of their same-sex parents (and I guess kids without a same-sex parent would all be hopelessly lost or something). In fact, there is a fair amount of research showing that peers matter more than parents-- parents may not have the extreme effect on their children that we have thought they do. Ask any 16 year old whose opinion they care about-- Mom or the kids at school? And even if parents do have a strong effect on children's lives (and I think they do), the degree of effect will depend on the particular family-- on who is the primary caregiver, on with whom the child has the most chemistry, on who sets the boundaries, etc. It's complicated. It doesn't lend itself to sound bites.

[ps I think this is a psychology issue, not a sociological one, but maybe that's because I'm a psychologist :)]

per: "Real-Life Desperate Housewives"....
ALL RIGHT ALREADY with the cheezy-ass, slow-moed shot of the group of contestants, guests, or whoever walking towards the camera like some gang that is a force to be reckoned with!!!!
Enough of that on the Apprentice and now DrP's geniuses follow suit.
It's. just. so. dadgum. cheezy!

As for the gals themselves... oh, please.

...or my all-time favorite - watching RoboRobin slide across the floor ala/Tom Cruise/Risky Business, wearing Baldy's socks and playing air guitar. Yup, sure did a lot for my life...

Call me naive (and trust me, you can, you won't be the first) but I think she'll write it herself. I was just waiting for something like this to happen. With Jordan going to college, I think she needs something to do. I mean, anyone who watches the show can tell that she'll have a though time next fall... maybe this is to give her something to do, 'cause who's she gonna make Jell-O for now?? (what is Jell-O anyway??? I only heard of it..)

If there is a ghostwriter, my guess is that it'll be her sister, you know the one that wrote a book... uhm that is, IF she actually wrote the book.

Anybody know what the topic will be?? *prays it's NOT about her purrrrfect lil' family*
I was thinking about coming up with a posible name for the book, you know in a not serious, making fun of Kitty/ $hill kinda way. But I just couldn't, nothing came to my mind, I blame the fact I've been watching Brit + K-Fed = Chaotic + decreasing braincells... So if there's anybody who's got some ideas...

Sounds like a job for Gemmadoll! Algeetoo PM'd me to ask If I knew her where-abouts -- I couldn't answer because I'm too dumb to figure out the PM system -- I just hope her evil MIL hasn't been up to foul play.

I'm looking forward to Robin's book. I've always wanted to know more about the great mysteries known as feminine wiles. I hope she'll have chapters on how to trick your husband into thinking you need four hours locked in the bathroom to prep for the day, why you can't do your own cleaning because it cuts into your "girl time," and how to convince him salad is a great dinner and jello is a gourmet dessert. I want to know about the subliminal tapes that keep husbands saying things like "I married way over my head" even though we might have big bobble heads and tiny little eyes.

Just think about that wall-paper in their kitchen. It takes some serious mojo to talk a man into something like that.

A title for RoboRobin's book. Hmmmmm.

How about "How To Make Millions By Gazing Adoringly Into Space While Really Thinking About Shoes"? (foreword by Nancy Reagan).

Or "Will There Ever Be A Rainbow: My Journey Through The World Of Cosmetic Surgery".

Perhaps KettlePorn could come up with a title for Kitty's book.

Are you the poster from The Netherlands, mutya? (I'm too lazy to go back and look) If so, and you really don't know what Jello is, I'll be willing to give you a brief tutorial. OR else you can wait for Kitty's book?

Oh, Mutya, Jello is what the Brits call jelly--you know, gelatin with color and flavor added. Here in the USA we use it as a sort of dietary catch all. Put in celery, peas, fruit cocktail or those mini marshmallows, whatever floats your boat. In Utah, it is as ubiquitous as shrubbery. Good stuff, if you don't consider the hoovery history of it.

Kitty's book? Let me speak for what was her name? Gummydoll? Anyway, Kitty needs a title that will draw non-Phil viewers into her orbit. Has to remain true to Kitty, though, so no intellectualizing, no bon mots, no sophistication. How about," Bambi Jumped but I Stayed--A Life As Arm Candy to the Country's Emminent Chowderhead?"

"Faux Food, Faux Face, Faux Orgasm--I'm Mrs Phil McGraw,dammit!"

No? Well let me get some coffee. Pshaw.

So true, KettlePorn - many novice vegetarians have made the mistake of downing jell-o. And thanks for the Kitty Tome Titles - I vote for Says it all.

I have never seen or considered any of those things lurking evilly in MY Jello. I am now terrified of Utah.

Vegetables? Vegetables? That's not right. Jello is supposed to be all but transparent, with no lurking nutrition.

I'm sure the McGraws enjoy a wealth of edibles floating in their sugarfree Jello. I'm just glad Kitty might be willing to share all of the little household tidbits and recipes (Faux Beanie Weenies made with pencil erasers and no sodium bouillion?) that make the McGraws who they are, and I think I'll get no argument here when I call them the title they have so richly and unselfishly earned, and that is...America's Sweethearts.

Honestly, I can't believe she hasn't gifted us with a series of work-out videos. It is, after all, the 80's thing to do. Where is the marketing train the McGraws commandeered? Where's Jay's line of Jeans? (What do you MEAN denim shortage? Oh. Heh.) Well, Jordan just has to start a Boy Band and we'll be in clover. You'll see.

The scariest sentence in that article?
I'm going off to curl up in a ball and hide now.

Pretty much what I thought. Thanks.



Nah, Jordan's too busy frantically burning through adoption sites, trying to find his real parents. Poor kid.

You know, I was going to try for a title on Kitty's book, but I think KettlePorn sealed it.

You've got to remember Daisy Duke when you but all this stuff in Jell-O, it's not a desert, it's a salad!

I always saw it in Montana, you go to one of those Family-Feed-Bag type buffets you get like ten or twelve different Jell-O colors with various contents next to the chafing dishes full of iceberg lettuce and croutons.

Toss it in a faux crust and you've got a Kitty Surprise dish with the unholy power of a hundred 'nanner pies.

bah! internet hiccup made me double post :(

Chapter 1: With enough Botox, you too can appear to gaze adoringly at your husband at all times.

ETA: "Bambi jumped".....heh...I just got that.

parsleysage, yup, I'm the one from The netherlands

I think I've seen that stuff in a hotel once, is it also bright green and/or red? And does it look like it comes from a nuclear factory? 'Cause if it is what I think it is, then I defenitely won't be trying that next time I go to Britain, and I'll also go down on my bare knees and thank God that they don't sell it here (or at least for as far as I know) it just looks like something that would kill you the moment you pop it your mouth...

On a sadder note, the BBJ show did great. Over 900,000 people watched, and for a country of 16 million, that's a lot. After this sad news the booktitle suggestions made by Kettleporn really made my day, so thanks!