That woman was self-snarking. I mean, where's the sport??

Seriously. Bitch was tragic.

Boy Howdy--ther's a name for those and it's LIP IMPLANTS. Collagen alone cannot mutilate your lips like that. I know because, until approximately 4:40 on Thursday afternoon, I was considering getting lip implants to enlarge my naturally, thin, cruel lips. Guess I'll sock the 2 grand into parselysagemini's 529 account now.
Somewhere, Bree Walker is sitting in her living room, relieved that she is off the hook. DAYUM--how horribly self-mutilating can you get? She looked otherwordly when she tried to smile with those Goodyear inserts in her smile. shivers

You know, I hate to keep up the scorched-scrote policy against Phil, but if I were bald and pompous and hosting today's show, I would have sent all of these face/figure obsessed young women to spend a day with a woman such as NASA's Dr. Mae Jemison. Someone whose motto could be, "So what if I'm pretty. I'm reaching for the stars here."

(And Phil, no young girl needs to watch her mom to model behavior that is anti-feminine form. They only need watch your program).

yesterday's show....all about S-E-X!! had us rolling in the aisles here in New Orleans. Love how the swingers didn't mind going on friggin' NATIONAL TV to discuss their proclivities. For this one instance only, "What were you thinking?" DR. Shill

And the newly minted WhoreMom. Tell your son to get back to taping Judging Amy and you just continue serving North America.

Is there NO shame?

Am I the only one who really could live quite happily NEVER hearing Shill talk about sex again? Especially on Valentines Day- Shill and Sex shouldn't be associated, ever, without excuse.

GAH......had the skeeeeeeeeeeeviest feeling that Shill was enjoying (entirely too much) the thought that "someone was crawling all over your wife while your daughter was upstairs asleep". Way too much porno-envy in that voice quality today, Shill...

Don't forget, tonight is Dr. Phil's show with Jon/Victoria from TAR. I'm kind of interested in it because of the previews. Hmmm

Hmm... the Shill, the Shrew and the Shmuck. Should be interesting, if the police are nearby for when the tri-fecta of bitter bitchiness blows up and starts an all-out brawl worthy of the NBA.

I never understand the people that lead these "secret" lives, such as the swinger couple last night...but then they go on national tv to talk about it. The husband was saying that no one he works with knows about it, none of their neighbors, and so on. But, won't SOMEONE see them on the show? At least one person he works with or one neighbor. How about their families?

I wish social services would come and get their daughter. What if one night she woke up sick or from a nightmare and went looking for her parents?

Well, I picture Phil naked on a regular, three-times-a-day basis. I'm a bulimic.

Once Phil said something lame about men's inadequacy because women--and this is normally theoretical--can experience multiple orgasms. So that's why we make less for the same work? To even the playing field? Phil, multiple orgasms are like Hannukah gifts. The first one is always huge, the subsequent ones are nice, but you really would have been quite content with just the first one. Don't go to any trouble on my account.

The fact that he changes posture, scooches around his seat and gets his eyebrows working when he does the sex-themed shows is what skeeves us. That and the skin helmet.

Gemma: LMAO. And snaps on the mutiple theory, BTW!

It's Shill's chauvanistic and archaic attitude that bug me, it's like hearing my grandpa talk about doin' it, it's just wrrrrong. It isn't Shills' looks per se that bug me about him talkin' 'bout sex, it's his piss poor attitude toward women that makes everything he says sound dirty and gross. I could live a very happy life never hearing him discuss sex again. If I wanted sex talk from a neanderthal, I'd call my gramps.

Shill's S-E-X Show was no surprise. Whenever he does one, he alternates between the "nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more" and stuffy, chauvinistic condemnation. Nothing he did was a surprise. He sent the no-romance retired couple on a tropical vacation to jump-start their romance again. He spent a lot of time condemning the swinging couple (a really easy, cheap shot imo) but seemed to miss the part where they said that swinging wasn't working for them and they didn't know what to do next. Shill's soluton: see a therapist, solve the problem between yourselves without getting outsiders involved, blah blah blah. Nothing new there.

And Shill just caved in the face of the sex-lovin' 52-y.o. woman. She was too much for Shill to handle, proving once again that the idea of female sexuality scares the crap out of him. What scared me about her, though, was her hair. Good grief, I haven't seen a 'do like that on anyone under the age of 70.

I wish Shill had trotted out one of his old favorite lines with Sex-Lovin' Older Woman's son -- "What the hell business is it of yours?" She's happy; she's practicing safe sex. The son should butt out and let his mom do her thing.

It's funny, though, when the book was brought up, I thought Shill said, "You call yourself a cooter," and introduced the author of the book "Cooter." It was actually COUGAR. OK, thanks for showing the cover. I was really wondering about it there for a minute.

Re: Friday's show with the singles, the big product placement for the online dating service: when all the men started filing into the studio holding roses, Mr. loudfan shouted (a la Oprah): "YOU get a man! YOU get a man! YOU get a man! YOU get a man!" Also loved the way Shill kept asking people, like, every 10 minutes, "So are you in love yet?" Yeah, sitting next to each other in a studio audience is really the way to get to know whether or not someone is your soul mate. On second thought, it might work just about as well as "The Bachelorette."

Bwaaah! I'm single but I'd still rather have the car and other Oprah goodies!

Gemmadoll, love the Hannukah analogy. Guess we can refer to orgasm #2-whatever as sox.


I see a book here - the Real Dr. Phil Ultimate Weight Loss Solution. No need for those pesky steps or quizzes or diet or exercise, just picture Phil naked - you'll either lose your appetite or you'll lose your lunch, but you'll definitely lose weight.

HEE! Letterman just signed in on Phulofit's "Romance Rescue" - showed the alleged disclaimer at the start of RR as "The following show contains adult situations, violent language, and a whole bunch of horsesh**". Way to go, Dave!

ETA: Wasn't that a totally wasted hour? Should have rented that mindless movie I was planning on instead.

Jonathan: We're not like that really

Victoria: No, really! He's a great guy

Jonathan: (whispers) kill....kill........

Victoria: I love him!

Phil: Oh. OK.

And now back to our regularly scheduled smackdown.

God. I just totally wasted an hour of my life.

A program about relatives that did not repay loans was so boring I just zoned. Then suddenly my head snapped up like Jenny Craig's in that unfortunate teeth-coupling accident. A convicted sex offender moves in with widowed mama. A convicted sex offender. He is living off the widow's money. The adult daughter has borrowed a hundred grand from mama but will not pay it back unless she is certain that Mama's Con will not get his heavily-fingerprinted paws on it.

So Mama is all Edward the Eighth about her Wallis Warfield Rapist, and wants her daughter to understand. She cannot live rationally without the love and support of the thug she loves. Then Phil drops the bombshell:"Isn't it true he said he would lop off your head and use it for a bowling ball?" Sheepishly, Cell Block Boy admits that, yes, in a fit of pique, he confessed that he would very much enjoy this. Phil is thunderstruck. We all are. Bowl with a head? We'll be right back says Phil.

Well, right after commercial we'll see all hell break loose. The guests gone, Phil addressing his largely female audience, shaken, telling us that the very threat of violence is a drop-dead deal breaker. Only that isn't what happened. At all. What happened was that Phil sugested an independent financial planner take a look at the woman's books and sort of put the daughter's repaid loan in a sort of trust where Criminal Cliff can't get ahold of it when he sort of snaps and sorta bowls with mama's head.

Fat thighs? Deal-breaker. Balling your neighbor's husband while your husband labors in the cane fields? Deal-breaker. Addiction to percodan, vodka or Little Debbies? This close to a deal-breaker. Threatening to use your severed body parts for indoor sports? Welll...dang. Ask a lawyer. I aint a lawyer. Good thing. Ha ha. No, wait I'm a kiddin. Aint meaning to insult lawyers. Don't sue ole Dr Phil now. You too, sociopathic ex-cons. Let's be friends.

Why do I now hear the strains of "Take the Skinheads Bowling" running thru my brain?

Methinks Shill was a bit a'sceered when he heard reference to using heads as bowling balls.....I'm sure he has had many experiences with his cranium being mistaken for sports equipment.

I couldn't stand to watch another minute of Vic(tim) and her Jon as they nearly ruined my favorite show. (Kendra's victory sealed that deal.)

But, of course, I'd love to hear what happened with Dr. Phil ('cause I while I don't want to watch a train actually wreck, it's kinda interesting to slow down and rubber neck after the bodies have been cleared.)

Did any TAR fans have the stomach to watch?

I am so ashamed. I did. I have no explanation and no excuse. I think Dr. Phil is a fidiot and I think J&V are way past sick. But I watched. Slack-jawed and dumbfounded, I watched.

Phil gave them a pass on everything! There were 2 or 3 times when it almost kinda started to possibly seem like Phil was gonna git 'em. But he didn't. It was a pathetic whitewash that gives approval to physical, mental and emotional violence.

If I hadn't seen them on TAR, I might've bought the crap J&V and Phil were selling. A lot of people watch Dr. Phil who don't watch TAR and will think J&V are justfinethankyewverymuch.

As we were watching, I told Mr. Citrus that it looked like a blatant attempt by CBS to smooth over the whole TAR/J&V thing. I see on the TAR boards that others are thinking the same thing.

(And really . . . who in the hell would write to Dr. Phil and ask him to step in and help J&V? I think it's ol' Phil who needs some help. Let's get real, Phil. Do you really think anyone believes that?)

Shill said nothing? Even about the slap?!? SHOCKED AND OUTRAGED! Actually, I'm not. Never expected Shill to find a problem with either of them, the three of them seem like a perfect trio on stage. Insane, whiny and overcontrolling. Take your pick about which name fits which person, they all work, even in combo's.

Phil appeared on "Late Show with David Letterman" on Monday night -- the highlight was that Dave kissed Phil on top of the head. What is the opposite of HoYay? Ho-gag?

I don't even know what that was last night -- Jonathan and Victoria and Phil. Nothing happened, and it felt like Phil just kind of glossed over all the bad stuff. Miracles of miracles, they are a happy, loving couple and all is well. Wow, if only we could all resolve our marital issuses so cleanly, in 10 minutes. Phil is a genius...except not.

I don't understand what the point was on having them on last night. I thought he would really lay into them, but nope, it was just a softball session. Blech...all three of them are a joke to me anymore.

I'm so glad I gave this a miss and watched House for the first time. Hugh Laurie is much more entertaining to watch than Dr Shill.

Gemmadoll, interestingly enough, I sat through the brother-sister feud and zoned out on the Lopper/MamaThugLove segment.

I was beyond pissed (and turned the tv off) when Shill showed a picture of the dead brother on the big Wall of Wail, which, of course caused the poor woman to dissolve into tears. Jesus fucking Christ. Right now, my family is fractured beyond sense and reason in the aftermath of my grandmother's death--if some asswipe like Shill threw up a picture of her on the Wall of Wail, and then commanded that I look at it, I'd probably go apeshit on his ass. And when the poor woman said something to the effect of wanting to talk with her other brother and wanting a decent relationship, all Dr. Phulofit McFuckwad could do was look blankly at her and then cut to commercial?

Fuck "Dr." Phil. That was total bullshit. It was utterly transparent that he wanted to paint her as the Unreasonable Woman who is responsible for tearing the family apart, and when he didn't get that, he didn't know what to do. This fucker is insidious. Quite frankly, I think he's the most sexist shitbag on the air. He almost always zeroes in on the woman as being the "problem" in a family, he essentializes them (e.g., 'maternal instinct'), and infantilizes them. This "man" repeatedly demeans women on his show, yet the Screaming Legions are almost exclusively women.

And what the hell is up with his Screaming Legions? Are these people hoping that their screaming, fanatical devotion to this shitbag will be enough to get them into Nirvana (aka, The Oprah Winfrey Show)?

When Dr. Phil was on Letterman the other night, he walked out with two of the Dahm triplets (who were playboy playmates). As soon as he sat down he proudly declared that Jay was dating one of the triplets (I think they worked on Renovate my Family with Jay, it was either them or some other pieces of useless eye candy, in matching outfits carrying around hammers and pretending to use them). Phil seemed overly proud of this, but I wonder what Robin thinks of this? A playmate doesn't seem as though she would fit into the McGraw's perfect family unit.

Word to your whole post, Gemmadoll. If I were a regular viewer, perhaps I wouldn't be surprised, but I was amazed that he let that matter drop. Widow mom is pathetic. The only thing I can say about the ex-con is that he surprised me by admitting that the bowling head comment was true.

The trouble I had with the crying sister was that I never saw any tears.

Premarital Bootcamp?!! God, What the HELL are these couples thinking?! Those marriages are not going to last. These couples better have the phone numbers of Maury Povich & Divorce Court on speed dial because they will sure as HELL will need it. God, Where does Shill find these patheic losers?!

Next wks episodes (wed-thurs), this 19 yr old bastard & (hopefully in the near future) somebody's bitch in San Quentin or Pelican Bay, Mikai will be on the show. Mikai has so-called sexual behavior problems. He might of (Ahh... Who am I kidding?!! HE DID) molested his 4 yr old sister. So now this family is turning to their Lord and Savior Dr. Phil to save his sorry ass & their sorry family & Mikai will have to take a lie detector test.(This bastard has FAILURE written all over him!!) This episode does not air till next wk & I'm already vomiting blood over this crap!!!



Sorry that I had to use our Lord & Savior in vain because of this jerk.

Will Shill ever have the FUFs back on the show?

Me TOO! I was wondering if anyone else noticed that.
Wasn't it the Ricki Lake show, or a various assortment of other Losers on Parade shows, that got scammed by a pair of guests who were fake-famewhoring to get on the teevee? Watching that crying sister I just thought, "Fake-fake-fake!"

I finally figured out something about Phil today and it gave me a digestive lurch. He may have been motivated at one time to help people, and that may even been the intent of his program, but everything about him now is ratings and controversy and raising the ire of those viewers (read "women") who will write to him letters of anger and ridicule and bile. Phil wants this. Phil needs this. Not only for his "angry viewer" program, but for something malformed in his bulbous ego that needs opinionated women to call him out so that he might silence them. In public.

The way today's program was set up was the biggest red flag. The first and third guests were only mildly annoying, as were their enablers. Except that--ignoring the fact that Abby is setting herself up to attract sickos--these two are benign little peons. In between though, is a couple whose problem has nothing to do with immaturity. Instead, we have one dangerous bastard and his legally wedded victim.

When is a drop dead deal breaker NOT a drop dead deal breaker? When Phil says it isn't. Except I counted four. Physical abuse. Verbal abuse (name-calling, Phil's predictor of marriage failure 99% of the time), threats of death, and the morass of consumer debt that will bury them. The crowning accomplishment is that Failed Lawyer Dave does all of this in the presence of a helpless child. What does Ole Epidermal Beanie say? "Let's get you some help. You sound sincere. You can work this out. I believe in you. I'm a complete jerk who should be renting out little clubs and checking score cards for free games at putt-putt golf but damn hell, here I am giving advice!"

You do not try to fix a relationship with a man who calls you bitch and whore. You do not raise a daughter with a man who spits on you. You do not allow a man who calls you "c---" to speak another word to you, except through your attorney. Everything about Phil says to me now, "I love women. When they stay in their place."

I live in the San Francisco area and one of our local stations KRON-4 was dropped by NBC last year. I still continue to watch their news broadcast because I felt it was on of the best local news stations in our area. Even without the NBC shows. They air Shill syndicated.

Well live it to Dr. Phill to RUIN my news! He was in town and the news dedicated 2 HOURS to him! 2 HOURS! They had the whole news team meet him and individually during cutaways they would show different members of the team, in the whole black background with their face partially lit so you know that its heart felt, just praising what a wonderful man he is, and how wise and personable. It was the fakest thing I have ever seen. SO much for the whole "Keeping It Real".

I watched it in shock and horror. Dr. Phil??? 2 HOURS??? With all the other stuff going on here right now? It made me want to puke. I have lost all respect for the entire news team now. I'm done.


I guess it’s just the paper. Stay away from my paper damnit!

I loved it when DP told that 1st goober that he was not a loser. I am sorry, Phil, but what pray tell do you consider a loser? This guy is 23, unemployed, has had 37 JOBS, sleeps all day, contributes zero to the household, has nothing physically or mentally wrong with him except deficiency of character, and goes on TV to proclaim smugly and proudly, that he has no intentions of changing! Is that not the epitome of LOSER?

Second woman- run. You are a homicide waiting to happen.

I am also wondering where the FUFs are. I miss the glory days of: Alex, Katherine, Marty and Erin. That was the last time I actually looked forward to episodes of this show, I never missed a Thursday afternoon episode. Now I rarely even watch the actual show, I usually go to the website and read the recaps. If something looks good, I will try to make an effort to tune in (but usually don't). I realize that the goal of TV shows is rating, but it seems like Phil is such a ratings whore this season, with lame and predictable topics and shows. The show's quality is really falling fast.

The episode in Philadelphia yesterday was the Pre-Marital Boot camp. My kid told me about as she's getting married in May and they figured they'd watch it together and see how they'd fare.

They'd've done a hundred times better than the best of that lot.

HOW many times did that one couple 'lose' the baby in Target?????

Did any other TAR fans keep wishing another Phil was hosting yesterday's premarital bootcamp? It was like a really, really boring episode of TAR. Like when the third couple arrived at the Target, I said to Mr. loudfan, "Erick and Mary Ellen, you are the third team to arrive. I'm sorry to tell you that you've both been eliminated from the bootcamp."

I kept wondering if Mary Ellen "If we never have sex, that's A-OK with me" was a virgin. I can't see how Erick "After the wedding, I want it 2-3xday, so get ready, woman!" can possibly think it's going to work. If Mary Ellen has had sex before -- or, God forbid, was sexually abused -- I don't think exchanging rings is suddenly going to turn her into the nympho her hubby to be desires. If she's a virgin, I guess there's always the possibility she'll like it more than she thinks she will. Someone should take her aside and give her a gift certificate to Good Vibrations.

Today, DP's talking about abuse as a deal-breaker today, but two days ago he didn't take issue with the ex-con who wants to cut off that widow's head and use it for a bowling ball. WTF?

A-men to that. It's bad enough what he's done to her so far, but it seems that this guy exercises zero impulse control and since he's already told her it would be better for their daughter (yeah, right, it would be better for HIM cause then HE can do whatever he wants without anyone questioning him), he might just decide to make that happen one day. I want to know why he's not a lawyuh since he went to law school racking up those ginormous student loan debts - did he not finish, did he flunk the bar, what? I've worked in the legal field almost 20 years and sadly a good number of the lawyuhs I know have similar personalities to his - except at least they are willing to work. Loved how he put on the game face for Shill, all contrite - yeah, right. Wifey best change the locks, look into a TRO and some kind of physical protection device - gun, mace, big mean dog.

Edited to fix quote tax.

Should be a standard shower gift, IMO. I actually thought the bootcamp was not so bad, except for the 20 minutes devoted to The Virgin Queen and Mr 2-3x a Day. Shill was waaay too involved in that -- had me wondering if he was thinking, "A virgin bride. I'll bet she's completely trainable. And doesn't shop a lot. Heavenly!"

Saddling the couples with a baby in PREmarital bootcamp was stupid. There may or may not be babies in these folks' future. Why not spend the time on things to help them be a strong couple? 'Cause isn't modeling a good marriage the best thing you can do for your kids, Phil??" Hmmm?

I know this is a bit off-topic, but did anyone catch the two women on the View today who had each lost over 100 lbs. in 18 months to 2 years through diet and exercise. I kept thinking what a good thing they weren't in the Weight Loss Challenge or Shill would have humiliated them and kicked them out for losing weight too slowly. Bet those two keep it off longer than the WLC'ers.

So Phulofit hasn't attended any alternative life-style conventions because he's "afraid [he'd] catch something"...geez, talk about being a germophobic homophobe! As a supposed "doctor", dontcha' know, Phillsy, that you won't "catch something" just by attending , but (perhaps) by participating? Now I wonder if he isn't one who carries a swatch of papertowel in his pocket to open/close doorways, and probably has stock in a company that manufactures hand sanitizer. Apparently his idea of research is to pour over reams of paperwork while scratching his hairless head - God forbid he actually gets down in the trenches to meet & greet and do any real investigation.

Crud. I missed it today, Tunia, and was looking forward to the ep after seeing that statement in the preview.

You know, what chaps my *ss is that lately, with all the screwed up people (like the 23-year-old brother moocher) he'll tell them the skinny, but will also say, "Oh, and you're not a bad person. You're smart, intelligent, and I can tell you are kind. You just need to get this car out of the ditch."

I imagine the thoughts going through his brain: "You're a moocher loser, but I can't tell you that on national TV, cause I'm carrying this show on my own and don't have Oprah helping me -- so I have to give you some positive strokes behind the negative ones, you loser you."

Hmm...maybe it's not that deep. Maybe he does what he advises people NOT to do -- just tells his guests what they want to hear. Quack.

Did anyone else catch the comment Dr. Phil made about having a threesome -- "I'm not going to invite some jakeleg into my bed" (with obligatory shot of a nodding Kitty)? I'm afraid my non-Texan self has no idea what that means, but I was able to find a definition here. Basically it means a no-account or a down-and-outer. Who says you don't learn anything from watching the show?

I loved the way they kept cutting to that one woman who was the only person in the audience daring to applaud Threesomes Therapist. That takes some guts. You go girl! I hope she wasn't detained and sent to Kitty's Reeducation Camp for Bad Girls after the show.

Actually, he borrowed that quote from Kitty. What she actually said back then was,"I'm not going to invite some jakeleg into my bed until he divorces the first wife, buys me a two-karat and at least considers getting plugs."

Two outta three, women.

I just saw that Monday's show is about teens and their various problems and it looks like Jay is not going to be on giving "advice" ( aka: trying to sell "his" books). I also realized that Jay really hasn't been on much at all this season. I know he has his own lame reality show, but that hasn't been on in months and he is not in school anymore. What does he do now? Not that I am complaining about his absence on the show, but without his appearance this season there has definetly been an increase in the Kitty co-hosted shows. If I was forced at gunpoint to pick from the lesser of two evils, I would pick Jay over Robin in a heartbeat.

The first thought that came to mind when I saw her was that she must be one of us, with both the nerve and fortitude to physically snark Phulofit in person!

I think that if I ever had the misfortune of being in Phullofit's audience, they'd drag me out on account of my incessant booing and "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??"s.

I'd pick the gun.

There's also the ratings factor -- I know a lot of women who watch the show, and almost all of them also hate the good doctor. Someone, somewhere at his organization (if not Dr. Phil himself) must be aware of this. The more we hate, the more we watch, the higher the ratings, the more toxic goo Robin can afford to inject into her face.

Gemmadoll, I think you're onto something here, and it's pretty distrubing. All us smart, progressive women who watch the show for the rage factor are playing right into Phil's hands, in a way.

Why do we watch?!? Why can't I stop? Gah.