Are you fucking kidding me. I'm gonna have to buy a new tv after I finish throwing heavy things at the old one.

Ugh.. Please don't tell that this IDIOT Jonathon & his brain-dead wife Victoria will be on Dr. Shill's Primetime suckfest. Sheesh... 4 worthless bastards on primetime. Shill, Miss Botox, Jonathon, & Victoria. How absolutely patheic!!

Borokat -
Glad your back and that LilBorokat is doing so well.


Are you sure you don't need to make an appearance on Shill's show for help? Actually, that could be your cover for delivering the Shill-icious TwoP smackdown that he so deserves - and that we would all pay money to see. Oh please, oh please!

Hey borokat, I remember you! What, you can't nurse and snark at the same time????

HATED that little pompous fatass husband who was sure that his stay-at-home wife and mom of 2 could accomplish all 100 things on her TO DO List each day with the proper time management. For starters, he was a toad--I'm sorry, but I'm very visual!! Second, he was blathering on and on about his importance, being a national sales manager of a billlliiiooonn dollar company. Tell it to someone who cares. Then he almost spews chunks while changing the kid's poopy diaper. Loser. In Shill's manner of throwing a resort vacation at every problem, he should've just sent them all to Sandals, I'm sure there was staff there who could change the freakin' kid.

Ever notice that the last 10 minutes of each show has to be spent thanking everyone who provided free services for the guests?

OK, I have to admit that I thought Monday's show was the best one in ages. The makeover of long-haired 200-T-shirt-owning dude was astonishing. I'm not surprised he didn't recognize himself in the mirror afterwards! The second makeover was sort of meh, but then we had Mr. "my SAHM wife is lazy" getting his comeuppance as his wife enjoyed her day at the spa. I was LOL when he shoved all of that stuff into the dishwasher and then just squirted some detergent in afterwards. And best of all, none of Shill's books were promo'ed. Oh well, today we're back to "parenting mistakes," so I'm sure we'll see the Family First book stack a dozen times.

Does your spouse have a fetish? If so, Shill wants you!

I only get turned on by fantasizing about bloated, bald, pop psychologists with scruffy mustaches and patronizing cadence who write how-to books and sincerely believe--at their very core--that their farts smell exactly like the House of Chanel.

Would I reveal this on Phil's fetish show? Why, yes. But only if he lets me touch his thigh.

Have you bothered to discuss this with your spouse? Did you bother to understand your spouse before you fucking married them? Are you a famewhore willing to sell out your tiny, shriveled soul just for the fifteen minutes of sitting across from that bald, egomaniacal, fucktard of a fake psychiartrist? If so, you could be a guest on OUR SHOW!

Welcome back Borokat and LilB! Greetings from red-headed LilHex, who says, "Learn to walk, it's wild, dude!"

Jonathan and Victoria. That's not funny. Not entertaining. Wrong on so many levels. Throwing Shill at these guys is like Famewhoring Squared. They may actually reach critical mass and implode, one could hope. Take it from a TAR-phile, they wrecked that show. It's heavy-duty abuse passed off as entertainment.

I also don't think I can take Shill tossing possum-platitudes at paraphilia. That ain't funny stuff, and as CaptainSnarky excellently points out, parading it on a Show is pathological. This paragraph brought to you by the letter "p".

Taxi Boy is so not ready to get married, but with a 20,000 dollar engagement ring brought to you by the fine jewelers who keep Kitty in gratis baubles, they can by god make it work. Unless Jennifer chases him with a scissors, then they'll be back for some relationship tweaking.

(And didn't our Phil look darling as a cabdriver? So right. So harmless).

Pay attention to when Phil mentions the upgrades available for the engagement ring. He says,"Somethin REAL nice" exactly like Cousin Eddie in Christmas Vacation. Dink. I don't know about the cat, Clark, but I sure am enjoyin it.

So true, so true - his scent of fear was darn near coming thru the TV. Really had me chuckling about how fast he dropped to his knee - kinda like he was feeling that yellow stripe down his back widening , and he had to get the proposal out before it overtook him. Looked like he was in a pretty deep state of shock afterwards - wonder how long til reality hits and they're trading the ring for a couple of Rolexes.

If Dr. Phil evers gets smart & take a look at this website, What would he think of TWoP?!

I caught the last 15 minutes of this show can someone tell me what the show was about.It looked like DP bought the ring for this guy, (cheap bastard) and he proposed to that girl..did like the ring though.and do you know what I could do with $20,000. Just to let everyone know I read this board at work and there have been many times I just started cracking up and they look at me and say what's so funny.

c.

I don't think he could say anything. He's been called out on his misogyny, famewhoring, and money-grubbing. People like him slink away when the truth is in their faces. Because they're ever sooo manly.

RE: Today's show: STFU, bug-eyed homewrecker! I feel bad for the kid who will get to spend its whole life either being ignored by its father, or being the prize in a human tug-of-war. STFU too, Dr. Douchebag. You had sex with your mistress in your marriage bed, while your wife was at her father's funeral?!!? Disgusting and appalling. Both of them have some really bad karma coming their way.

I was wondering when the board was going to heat up concerning today's show. Wowwy wow wow wow. Even in my darkest days (college) I have never once thought that it was acceptable to sleep with and have children with a married man. It is so foreign to me that I cannot even comprehend, I cannot relate whatsoever to any of these bitches. Except the last gal that dumped her husband- the only one with a lick of sense.

Heads up--Shill will be a guest on "Larry King Live" tonight, I assume after Larry chats up Donald Rumsfeld.

At the end of the show last night, Larry had no clue who his guests tonight would be, and I'm guessing that Shill has put himself on the short list of people to call when they need someone at the last minute. Word to whomever called him on his famewhoring.

Word! I can't understand why Kandi is still with her husband. How many times do you have to be kicked in the teeth before you decide to move out of the way? I did chuckle a bit when Shill showed her a picture of the mistress: "She's ugly."

Joi, the "other woman", needed to STFU for real.

Brittany was the only person who had some sense on this show. I have to admit that her ex-hubby's excuse was revolting. "My wife has cancer and she's might pull through or she might die. Can I have your number?" Thank goodness she didn't have children with that asswipe.

Omigod, I think I actually agreed with Shill for a minute when he wondered who would think this was a good come on line!

Bug eyed Homewrecker (TM gemini617) really needed a slappin'. What about my child? - would that be the child that's going to have to be told that she is the product of her slutty mom's banging a married man and not being bright enough to understand how birth control works.

Glad Kandi finally kicked Dr. Douchebag (TM gemini617) to the curb. I'm glad to know that Shill once again is touting weight loss and a personal trainer as what it's going to take to make the destruction of her marriage and loss of self-esteem hunky dory. I gotta get me one of them personal trainers so my life can be all sunshine and rainbows and kittens cause if Shill says that's all it takes, that's all it takes.

I've been wondering with Shill giving all these kids gym memberships lately - do many kids actually work out at gyms? I haven't been to a gym in years (we have a work-out room at work so if I feel a need, I go there), but I don't remember seeing anyone under 18/college age when I did.

Kids have to be really careful if they do any weight training; since their bodies are still developing it's easy to over-stress them. I doubt the average gym has anyone qualified to train kids.

Is it just me, or did anyone else out there watch 2/3 of the interview with the Bug eyed Homewrecker (TM gemini617) , thinking that this was Kandi's husband's girlfriend and how can Kandi sit there listening to her? Methinks that Shill perpetuated that idea to get more people to stay tuned in. I mean, she was kind of ugly (sorry), had the husband's kid, etc, just like Dr. Douchebag's (TM gemini617) mistress. What, did he go to Central Mistress Casting to find her??

Anyone? Bueller??

That's exaxtly what he did, parsleysage. The previews were all, "she's ugly!" and then an immediate close-up of Thyroid Thusie explaining her right to diddle another man's wife. Phil shot, he scored.

The whole Kandi/Ed scenario is really bringing the Big Yawns. I think Phil is jackin a flaccid with this one. Stress brings out the two year old in adults (except for finks and gossips and passive aggressives--they're hardwired for it) and I hate seeing the bright and attractive Kandi waste a moment of her life on a man who--let's face it--looks like every assyfaced Poindexter you turned down in college, even if he was pre-med.

See, therapy would have caught Thusie before she went over The Falls. She could have come to peace with the fact that beauty is supposed to be internal and it doesn't righten the world by banging the prettier girls' significant others simply because, although plain of face, you have taught yourself to suck the chrome from a trailer hitch. (That's what it's called in the Deep South anyway.)

I wouldn't want to be second fiddle to any woman, and I certainly wouldn't try to siphon the Texas oilfields with my mandibles to prove it. No man is worth that. Period.

I just had to share this comic with you all today.

Sorry to post again so soon, but Phil irked me so bad today I turned off the treadmill and paced instead, calling him every name I could think of in several languages. Then I invented some.

HATE when people (Phil, you mile high dink!) say that we "have the kids we are supposed to have" and the similar, "we choose our parents before birth." While that may make a bad parent think, it rips an abused kid (or formerly abused kid) right across the chest. How dare he suggest that we are "assigned" parents in the pre-existence and therefore it was ordained that you ended up battered or unloved or unwanted. Damn. I can't stand when I hear it from fundies, and I can't stand it when I hear it from New Age folk. Procreation is a crap shoot. You end up with genetics you didn't choose and parents you didn't choose and none of that is your fault.

The point is that Lily (or is it Lillie?) has a monstrous mom who enjoys being hateful to her. If she wasn't, she would have sought help before she did that little girl permanent harm. Alex Vachss always says that abusers come in three categories: The unprepared/stupid, the addicted, and the monsters. I saw a three headed hound from Hell who is taking out her wrath on the fucktard bigamist she married by abusing her daughter. A proxied Hell.

Scott the dad who wants to be both Beavis and Butthead? I hope your son sees an ancient tape of this program when it comes time for him to choose your nursing home. The best part was your "I was raped!" joke that was recieved with stone silence save for the crickets. Get a DNA test. Phil just might be your Daddy.

The final couple had real issues and should have been knocking down doors in the medical and psych communities years ago. That boy was an absolute challenge. His parents seemed normal and human and stronger than I --especially since I'd never marry a man prettier than I. (Needed levity. The subject of mistreated kids makes my head explode and drives tractors over my heart).

I haven't been watching much of his show lately (studing for the bar exam), but I tuned in because the promos led me to believe that was Dr.What's his Name's mistress. I was really dissapointed when I found out she was just some random howler monkey.

I get that she is transferring, but Kandi's comment that HowlerMonkey's child was not supposed to be there struck me as a little unnecessarily cruel. It's quite clear that she was using the moment to treat HowlerMonkey as a in loco adultress, and I thought it was disgusting, but not suprising, that Dr.Phillatio let Kandi get away with it.

That being said, her daughter is going to be one messed up adult, given HowlerMonkey's obsessive need for love at any cost.

What, what what? I wouldn't have even believed that, and I spent a majority of my childhood with the idea that I was baked in the oven with specially ordered freckles. Because if it had been my decision, I'd pick people who weren't nearly so tickled when I get embarrassed by them. Dr Shill, don't tell the kiddies stuff like that. You stupid oafish ox!

I couldn't do that either. I'm just too selfish to share. I honestly don't know how these women tolerate it. I would ask a guy like that which one of my shoes he liked the best, then cram it in his ass and throw him out the door. I know the other woman would be to blame also, but I'm not in relationship with her. It's his responsibility to make sure he is faithful.

These ladies need to recognize the Sars (Tomato Nation is awesome!) rule: If he did it with you, he'll do it to you. Once again, karma, baby.

Exactly! But that's good news, actually: if Shill and his people are resorting to cheesy tricks like this, to get people to tune in, then he might be starting to circle the drain. Or so we can hope.

Let's face it, if HowlerMonkey had not had an affair, her child would not be here today. Her child is here because of a mistake and an immoral choice. I cannot imagine what she is going to tell her daughter when asked where dad is--well, you are an illegitimate child. Yes, I think it's still okay to use that term because I don't it is fair to the wife if the husband supports affair child in any way. I know it sounds old-school, but maybe this would discourage affairs. That child will forever be burdened by the fact that she was not supposed to be born.

Of course, she needs to be a good parent now that the child is here, and Kandi agreed with that. What I have a problem with is HowlerMonkey whining--OH BOO HOO!--as though it's all of the married man's fault and not hers. Your legs were spread, too, lady! Spreading your legs does not make a good parent.

Neither does spurting sperm. How I wish that was as common an expression.

So I almost never watch Dr Phil so maybe I misunderstood something about todays show. Is Dr Phil anit-adoption? Because that's the only reason I can think of that he told the woman on todays show "Let's thank god that you didn't give up this child that you hate and resent and been verbally (and nearly physicaly) abusive of up for adoption". I don't get that? Am I missing something? Seriously, I don't get it!

If I was in the audience in todays show they probably would have had to remove me because I might have charged the stage and slapped that woman. "Wah wah wah, I was lied to! Wah wah wah, I only love my son because he looks like his father (the good one) and my daughter is the bad one. Boo hoo!" Seriously, that woman was 10 kinds of fucked up.

I didn't see the first 20 minutes, but that guy Scott irked me so much. I wish Shill had been harder on him. His wife would be better off without him, rather than having to Mommy both her seven month old and her grown husband. I actually gave my TV the middle finger when he made the rape "joke." I have a feeling all he is going to hear is Shill telling him to still live his life. He's not going to change until his son gets older and can be played with. Ugh. That one really hit a nerve.

The last family had serious problems. At least they seemed to feel bad about the way they felt. When my daughter is acting up for a few hours, I feel a bit crazed. I can't imagine a child that acts up 24/7. Hopefully, they'll get him some help very soon.


Very well said.

Thank you, Gemmadoll.

I was annoyed that Phil wasn't harder on Sara. Scott was a complete dolt to accept such a ridiculous deal but the fact that Sara said "You won't have to do anything! Your life won't change!" and then altered the terms after the fact stank of immaturity. Scott was an ass to be sure but Sara made a putrid decision in regards to trying to start a family when neither of them were ready.

Logan was cute, however. Too bad he's well on his way to becomming yet another crime statistic in this country.

Those two were obviously not ready to have kids. Sara was sneaky for stopping her birth control and stupid for making false promises to Scott. Scott was the biggest moron for thinking he could just take hot baths as birth control. Scott, it's called a condom. If you don't want a baby, wear it.

Not really, I was the product of an affair. As per my father, my mother did not know my father was a married man and by the time it all came out..well.. I was already on the way. I am not forever burdened, nor do I feel like I wasn't not supposed to be born. Some of the worlds brightest, prolific, and world altering people were not born of the best circumstances. Life is life and things aren't always done pretty - even when they seem to be. I certainly wasn't headed for a life a crime based on the fact that my father was a liar and my mother naive.

As for this situation, the mistress and husband were both foul. But the husband should financially and emotionally support the otside child he made because its his responsibility to do right by the bad decisions he's made. Either his wife should leave him or accept this outside child but she should make a choice and stick with it. This child should be told the truth when its old enough to hear it (and honestly that's a young as 10). Children are far more resilient than we think. Its the lies, secrets and shame surrounding this affair that will cause more damage to the child than the circumstances of how he was born.

Gemmadoll! Word on the sperm spurter line but...


that's just...
Ew.

But it's the best he can do without a mirror.

I would have choked the bitch, myself. That poor baby girl! I only hope that Lily isn't ruined by the fact that her own mother hates her.

I must not have been paying enough attention, because I had the entire show on in the background as I did my homework (looking down at the dipshits on the show makes me feel smart!), and didn't realise the howler monkey wasn't actually that exact couple's other woman.


Jumping in on the chorus of WTF to this statement. What is he basing this on? I'd say it appears to be not so much a choice and more like some kind of karmic score we have to settle that puts us together with the people who are our parents.

The advice in the show about parents that do not like their children seemed to be just change. The first woman was asking for "tools" to help her change her feelings for her first kid and Shill's advice was to just change the way she felt. All I can say about the line about we choose our parents before birth, to quote Shill, "What a load of cr#p". Did those 2 kids that were drowned by their mother choose her. Did the woman's kids in Texas who she killed choose her. Would any child abused or killed by their parent choose them. Hell, would FUF 1 & 2 have chosen their parents. I think not since one had asked to be adopted.

Great.. next wk's shows are basically garbage. The only reason why I'm watching this junk are these comments on this board are so god damn funny.

Here is something that will ruin your day www.drphilstore.com
What the hell is the Dr. Phil Foundation?!

How come we don't see more inner city families on his show more often? They have similar problems just like the regular deadbeats that come on the show and yet I do not see very much of them.

I rather watch Maury than this crap because at least you'll see more minorities & You'll be more entertained.

Keep up the good work people & keep up on the hatrid of Dr.Shill!!!

Really! What kind of dummy thinks hot baths would work? That floored me. Little Mister "Leave me alone, I have pinball to play and bikes to ride" was taking hot baths? He really thought that would do the trick. Unbelievable, both of those ninnies - she for marrying him, imo.

I'd like to think it's because they have more sense than to buy what Shill's seliing. And maybe that's because I'd like to think that whole huge swathes of our population have more sense that way. [/wishful thinking]

The Dr. Shill Show is marketed to attract an audience that's going to run out and buy his books/merchandise. Middle class people with issues want to watch other middle class people with issues get their problems solved. Then they run out and buy Dr. Shill's latest book that apparently solved the problem. They're not going to identify with a working class/inner city family. The Dr. Shill Show is a one-hour long infomercial.

If you ask my mom, she'll say all Maury talks about are paternity test, yet she loves Dr Phil?? go figure.

All of this negative talk about the Philmeister is making me sad in my tummy.I'm making a "Kitty saw a Wal-Mart sign" kind of face.

Today's show, meh. Mothers-in-law from hell don't make the "C" list for me. If my m-i-l were a featured guest you'd be yelling "Plant!" No one is that evil who doesn't have a History Channel newsreel. And yet, there she goes.

Tomorrow, I must boycott. Pageant parents, cheerleading parents, little League parents, even the show biz types I can stomach. But breeding your own Barry Manilow? What festering staph infection of morals and good taste caused such a carbuncle? The m-i-l I mentioned above chases Neil Diamond all across the world and attends "Neil Rallies" but she didn't try to teach my husband to wear sequined jumpsuits and sing "Holly Holy," because some things are beyond the pale even for bejeweled, mule-wearing shebeasts like herself.

The "I live for Brad Pitt" is simply a rehash of the "I live for the tight-jeaned, cowboy hat wearing country singer Gemma can't remember" lady. We all had stupid crushes--mine were Donny Osmond, Shaun Cassidy and Potsie-- but we gave it up for mortgage payments and carpools, like we were supposed to. Carrying that sort of obsession into adulthood makes you look like...well, the type of person who wouldn't mind telling Phil all about it. Patooie.

(BTW, In his quest to be known as EveryMan, Phil assures us his relatives brawl like drunken gutter fighters at weddings and christenings. Isn't that darling?)

Re: tomorrow's show: A pal forwarded me a message from a Clay Aiken message board posted by a woman who had been invited to appear on the "I [heart] celebrities too much" broadcast, but she never made it on the air because Shill's producers felt she was insufficiently obsessed. Since Clay fans seem to be pretty ardent, I can just imagine what kind of characters they came up with. Craaaaaay-zee! Personally, I can't wait.

We got us some classic Gemmadoll at her finest, today. Thank heavens; I needed it.

This just cracks me up. Thanks for giving me the first good laugh I've had all day.

Gemmadoll, is it wrong that when I heard Shill mention that on today's show, I thought of you?

The MIL from hell show featured some of the most irrating characters I've ever seen on his show. The guy who hated his sister in law was especially evil.

Didn't you love his COPS version of events? She said it was: "If you come over without asking I swear I'll take out my effing gun and cock the effing hammer and put it to your m-effing skull and blow yer effing brains out! Effing biotch!
He said it was: Oh, beloved sister-in-law. How it is you might rattle my doorknob whenst I do not expect you? Lo, even unto the darkness as the Jay Leno hour draws nigh, often we feel sore afraid, yea that one creeps to our door to burgle unto us. Hearest thou! If you should comest beloved flesh of my wife's flesh, bone of her bone, please announce thy coming with a Cingular anthem so that I may make haste to lay down my weapon and welcome thou hence, with a holy kiss and Doritos.

Phil bought it, the big (cerebral) softie.

Gemmadoll, honey, I see you're in a concilliatory mood today. Careful, don't want to get too reasonable on us.

Whew--I just finished the Feb. 2005 edition of The New England Journal of Medicine and, well slap my thigh, it says that the best treatment for your teenage son who sexually abuses your 4 year old daughter is to haul them onto national telelvison and have Shill scare them straight! Whoda thunk it? Loving thing to do to your 15 year old, not? Maybe Shill can send them to Sandals where the son can proceed to fondle the underage chambermaids. What kind of parent does this? What, has Shill taken the place of Capital Blue Cross Behavioral Health division?

Wanna hear the World's Greatest Irony? About the only thing that gets me to the gym is the promise that I can watch Shill while working out. Therefore, Shill's big fat ass is making my big fat ass get smaller. Sigh.....life is beautiful, not?

I'm so going to work "insufficiently obsessed" into a conversation today.