The only part I really watched (and a part that bugged me) was when Robin was going on and on about the chocolate that had little designs on them and that they tasted so good. Dr. Phil was practically stone-faced about the whole thing and said "Is that in the Weight Loss Solution book?" and then, "Stay away from the chocolate!". You mean to tell me that he can't even eat just one little piece of chocolate? What does he have for dessert? Tree bark?

Although kitty professes to LOATHE sugar in all forms, eschewing even a single Hot Tamale lest her precious metabolism tank, I saw an ah-ha moment here. Imagine you and your husband/significant other in any situation where he sees chocolates/donuts/big ass tacos and says, "Step away from that!" That implies you have no need for calories. That implies you're puffy. I don't give a slick nickel who he was addressing, if a man says,"Uh oh! Calories!" everyone will look right at his partner.

But Kitty simply stood rigid, a five foot tall robotic nutcracker, and smiled her Tupperware hostess smile.

Quick, Henry, the Flit!

( Wanted to visit Holland since I read Anne Frank.Saw the traveling exhibit, can't compare. Is the Beje ten Boom Museum still standing in Haarlem? mutya?)

@ Gemmadoll: Never heard of the Beje ten Boom museum, but there is a Corrie ten Boom museum in Haarlem, so maybe that's the one you mean. If you come to Holland I can really recommend The Anne Frank Museum, the place where she stayed during the war and where she wrote her diary is now a museum, so if you liked the book, I'm pretty sure you'll like the museum too.

Ow and make sure you check out the Not The Dr. Phil Show ok, so it may be in dutch... but it gives you an opportunity to learn a new language and besides that, making fun of that weirdo shouldn't have linguistic boundries.

Way to dismiss all the people who managed to become well-adjusted despite being abused.


Bet the only one he's read is A Christmas Carol, and all he got out of it is that anyone who objects to Christmas is a Scrooge - and, totally missing the point of the story, he thinks that includes objecting to obnoxiously ostentatious displays.

Hee! Today's Scrooge would be someone like Shill, making ostentatious displays to appear charitable while profiting at an insane rate off the backs of the same people he's making into charity cases. Not as obviously "Bah Humbug" evil, more insidious.

Can you imagine what the Ghosts of Christmases past, present, and future would have to show Dr. Shill? Hmm... that wouldn't be a bad short story - a 21st Century Xmas Carol.

Here's my take on the Christmas party. Dr. Phil learned well from Oprah how to get companies to pay for things whie you get credit. I also felt that the children had to "earn" their gifts which I felt was tacky. Couldn't they have made tapes and gift packages before the party? Also I wonder if the kids even knew who Marcia Cross and Kelsey Grammer were? I think they would've been happy with SpongeBob.

But, Spongebob can't get the McGraws on any "A" lists, and if Kitty doesn't get to rub up against more celebs soon, she's going to die. She just is.

Speaking of celebs, I'm proud of Phil for featuring one no matter the topic. He looks like a fawning ass, and that's my favorite part.

Just finished watching today's episode about psychics and it wasn't as interesting as I thought it would be.

The first segment with the woman that's obsessed with connecting with her dead brother kinda bothered me a bit. I felt that she shouldn't bother since it seemed to me that he didn't really care for her when he was alive. However, there's another part of me that feels that maybe she was the reason why they didn't keep in contact and weren't close, hense her obsession with contacting him after he died.

I really wanted Char Margolies (sp?) to tell Shill something to show off her mad psychic skillz and maybe put a hex on him for good measure. (We know someone's zombified Robin already.) Not that I think Char is super psychic (I don't know, but she's not as annoying as some) and that I don't think the guests weren't sitting in seats 1 and 2 on the Guillible Train - I just want someone to fuck with Shill and freak him out.

Oh, and could his lips have been any more firmly planted on Michael Keaton's ass? Loved when Shill was fawning on about how he remember everything Keaton's done from Night Shift to Johnny Dangerously to whatever the hell else he said and Keaton said - really, I don't. Maybe now everytime Shill encounters white noise he'll hear Freud or Jung bitching at him from beyond the grave. Maybe he could have the guys from Ghost Hunters come over to record it.

I liked when Char told the woman sitting next to her she'd forgotten her name. Where's your Kreskin now?

Oh Phil. Don't drag religion into psychic stuff. Call it poodle poop on a street grate, but don't go all,"I'm a Christian blah blah" because it sounds like you're about to quote scripture about diviners and witches and palm readers and it detracts from the real argument, which is that psychics make money from gullibility or fear so if you're either a dumbass or a nervous Nate, don't go the psychic route. If you think they're fun, have at.

James Randi has offered every psychic a cool mill if they can prove their ability. He offered the same to faith healers, and I think women who claim to have boinked David Gest. No takers, obviously, but he does get regular hate mail from tarot readers, astrologers and Montel for talking smack.

Phil gave a very Fox News type of study to the subject matter, and yes props to him for keeping a straight face while he held forth about Michael Keaton's body of work. Hee. Nice to see Batman get the Olivier treatment.

Today's Psychic show was just bizarre. The woman who wanted to contact her brother gets grief counseling, but the failry disturbed pregnant lady who bought a $52,000 car for her mafia psychic gets the "Mean people who keep secrets are bad and you should tell a grown up" speech? She should get all sorts of counseling, as she seems to have major problems.

The show also hit new lows with not only showcasing Michael Keaton (whose segment I skipped), but previewing Patricia Arquette's upcoming TV show. How, Shill, does featuring fictional television shows and movies help those who are gullible to the psychic baloney? On a good note, I didn't see his wife the whole hour, though they do need to remove her thumbs-up from the credits.

Just when I had vowed to swear off Dr. Philofit forever, he turns up on the intro to Monday Night Football. Dude, get off my screen! Yes, I even blame him for my beloved Patriots suffering a loss to Miami tonight. Now I need to cry into my pillow....<sob>

Today Phil's show was about the Porky Clan that he's trying to whittle into McGraws. Well, IDEAL McGraws. (Too bad about Jay's tragically expansive caboose.)

I believe these will be his lowest rated shows this year. I couldn't watch, even to take my mind off the excruciating repetitiveness of the treadmill. Nobody cares about fat people, Phil. You can't swing a dead cat in any house in America without hitting a chubby butt. We want FUF, FU beyond all reason. ANYBODY can get hooked on McGriddles and cheesecake. 'S boring. We want skanks, loonies and kids trying to launch out of the moving mini van because they wanted the PURPLE crayon, dammit! while their sibs screech and sulk and sneak smokes beside them.

Screamin, cheatin, Hank Williams kind of livin' families,son. Let the puffy people sweat in peace.

OK, gemmadoll, you mean you want to see more of Philofit's extended family. You know - the ones he tries to hide until they suit his purposes...

Slogging through the backlog/backwash of last week's holidaze nonsense...

Kitty's looking sorta hunchy. Perhaps a hidden, secret hump? A cartilaginous tail?

Also, if Marcia Cross doesn't cool it with all that kiddy talk, she's gonna round the bend into Michael Jackson territory...

She looks like she's trying to hide some new adipose. Maybe the pool boy likes her meatier.

If Phillip was going to take off for some McGraw family time, he could have re-run some decent stuff, like maybe a FUF One and Two marathon. Nothing says the holidays like the exaggerated angst faces of Alexandra and Katherine.

But no, he hauls it to Beverly Hills and leaves me with cat lady and an assortment of other yawn people I find it hard to workout to. As Stephanie cried to Tony Monaro,"What do you expect me to do,man? What do you expect me to do? He helped me..."

[QUOTE]Today's Psychic show was just bizarre. The woman who wanted to contact her brother gets grief counseling, but the failry disturbed pregnant lady who bought a $52,000 car for her mafia psychic gets the "Mean people who keep secrets are bad and you should tell a grown up" speech? She should get all sorts of counseling, as she seems to have major problems.[QUOTE]

Yes, what is up with that? The first lady already seemed to know she just needed grief counseling and too stop with the psychics, but the second lady seems like she would dole out more money if someone threatend to hex her. How can anyone be so stupid. She seems like a nice lady but oh my God. $50,000!?

Another thing about Monday's show:

Anybody notice how he said "theater" when referring to movie theaters? He pronounced it "thee-ATE-r" rather than "thee-AH-ter".

I'll bet Phil is upset that he didn't come up with the idea of putting his WLC in prime time. I mean, look at NBC's The Biggest Loser -- it's a ratings blockbuster and it probably would have been even more popular starring Phil instead of Caroline Rhea.

It looks like he did pick a couple pretty dysfunctional families for the FWLC (mom whose parents both committed suicide, pot-smokin' kid, etc.) but at this point it just feels like "been there, done that." And we know from last year's WLC that it just ends in a massive prize-a-thon in which the people who didn't lose enough weight have mysteriously "disappeared."

The only good series he's done this year, IMO, is the Desperate Housewives. Even if we don't know the newest DH's tragic secret (runs a meth lab? turning tricks?) it's still better than all the Family First nonsense.

If Phil doesn't reveal what mystery problem that housewife was hiding then he isn't worth a hill of seasoned fatback. The whole suspense build-up is like Geraldo gnawing into Capone's vault, asking assorted passers-by whether they thought the supposed vault contained weapons or money or a cache of fossilized whores, and we all know what happened there.

Phil pronounces "theatre" exactly like the rest of the Clampetts and Bodines, close relations on his mother's side. Naomi Judd does the same thing:"Well, slap the dog and spit in the fire--aint I just a hillbilly!" No, you're a career obsessed entertainer who will offer a recipe for possum popovers on your website if you think the country schtick thing will sell.

Meanwhile, Phil has taken a page from Garth Brooks and created a Chris Gaines who goes from city to city with all due hoopla, addressing cheering, screaming audiences that about have cerebral accidents when he appears on the stage dressed all in black and lit from below. Is it Tony Robbins? Jim Jones? The ghost of Johnny Cash? No, it's our Phil, hellbent for leather toward the light of fame. Well, bless him real good.

I'd love to put Philofit, Star Jones-Reynolds, and Joan Rivers in a locked room for 2 days to see which one, if any, would survive...

Jamoche, I'm not sure if that was directed at me or Phil, but that was exactly my point -- that Phil was implying it is impossible for abuse survivors to deal with their histories and lead healthy, happy lives, which is obviously bullshit.

Directed at Phil, I knew you were quoting him & I was agreeing with you. Seeing as I am an abuse survivor, he's full of it. Screwed up people are just as likely to come from "nice" families, and kids of screwed-up families can resolve not to be like their parents.

But, in Phil's world (a Norman Rockwell Texas) there is no abuse victim who does not fall of his own emotional weight, no cheating wife who does not contract genital Dutch elm disease, no arguing spouses who do not turn their children into wee kindergarten gang bangers who turn their crayolas into shivs and chase the teacher round the room, and no addiction that can wait one more day for remedy. (Phil, I drink 17 cups of coffee a day and I'm jittery and rather short as a result. Sez Phil:you need to be in the Folger's rehab in Rancho Bizarro before the sun sets TODAY.)

Phil has us all figured out. He knows everything. If his sons were not so unfortunate looking, he would be perfect. Perfect. Why can't you all see that? I think you all need to go buy all of Phil's books, sign up for one of his seminars and write him a fawning telegram of apology before the sun sets TODAY. The price of poker just went up. That dog won't hunt. If you call a possum stupid he'll live up to the label. Then he'll bite you. Cos he's a possum.

I was looking at the latest Avon brochure and saw that Dr. Phil's "Ultimate Weight Solution" book is being sold for $12.99.

Why do I have a feeling that it's going to be a huge seller?

I was looking at the listings for the next week of new shows (starting Jan. 3) on my TiVo, and DP is starting a new weight loss challenge. Ho hum. Nothing about the desperate housewives -- darn.

Phil! What is the mystery housewife's secret?? You think you can just jet off to Swellville vacationland and leave us hanging? IF you decide to reveal Mystery Housewife's deepest, darkest not on your daytime program but on a primetime ratings extravaganza starring Miss Katie Couric then we, your LOYAL critics, will never forgive you. You are our pet cue ball, not the public at large's. THEY make fun of you, Phil. Honest. All the comedy show hosts and SNL and the wits at TV Guide consider you a fatuous waste of air time. Well, you are, but we are still protective of you and your snarkilicious self. Don't spread the Phillin. We hate sloppy seconds.

Now, today's rebroadcast of simpering newlyweds? What is up with Miss "I thought I WAS marrying money!" The hell? The aching hell? Sweetie, baby, lovey! You don't fall for the baubles and trips and vintage wine. They CHARGE that shit. You have to see the real estate titles, pore over the stock portfolio, have the antiques appraised. Don't get sucked in by the lobby, ask to see the suite.

Or, you know, you could marry a man you love, pull yourself up by the cloven hooves you stomp around on and EARN a better life. Sheesh. Haven't heard such entitlement crap since the late Princess Margaret waved her cigarette holder around the villa and screamed for Wild Turkey neat. Your dad a king? No? Then take the GRE. Nut muffin.

Gemmadoll , sounds like someone needs a shot of holiday spirit! Make it a Wild Turkey shot in the eggnogg...TODAY as Dr. Phil would say. Hee!

Ok, I'm ready to rip the esophagus out of the whiny woman (oh, is there any other kind in Dr. Phil's world?) who wanted her hustand to buy her pretty shiny things and thought their short marriage was over because she couldn't get "pampered." Bitch, puhlease. As much as I loathe Dr. Phil, I wish he would have gone gangster on both her and her doofus husband who went into debt trying to pamper her.

That's what tv needs--a black, gay Dr. Phil--a RuPaul who'll tell it to silly people straight.

The guy from today's show that is "too good-lookin'" that the ladies run away? Is so gay.

Damn, I missed that part. I was so sick of the idiots he had on before "Too Sexy" that I turned off the TV. Now, I've got it back on and there's this woman wondering how she can make time for herself--shit, make your damn husband cook or something! Shit. What the fuck does the fucking husband do when he gets home from work? If the first thing out his mouth is "What's for dinner?" then he needs to stop, collaborate and listen. How about he clean up a room or three in the house? Shit. This show is so fucking paternalistic and chauvinistic. He might as well clonk the women over the head with a club and tell them "Me Tarzan, you Jane, you ignorant slut!"

WARNING: KITTY compliment immediately following. If you find this offensive, do not read this post

One tiny little thing you can give Kitty credit for is that she doesn't get big trout pout lip injections. She has a very tiny mouth. All the better for her to squeak "Oh, Phil."

That poor housewife. She flys out to LA to get help from Shill and she has to talk to Kitty. WTF? What the hell does Kitty know about a harried housewife , with her chefs, decorators, personal shoppers and cleaning ladies? And Shill was no help either. Why do they have these people on if they aren't going to do anything for them? He at least coulda sent her to Sandals with one of his books.

Hey Harried Housewife!--if you are reading this--try www.flylady.net. It's free and it's fabulous.

Oooooooooooooh! Complimenting the Kitster! Foul! Foul!

I know what you mean about the Jolie lips. Maybe Kitty was afraid she'd look sexy to another man and he would crook his finger at her and she'd have to take off after him to get away from the snowstorm shine of Phil's pate? Phil seems to press for wives--not to be confused with women--to be trim, fit, well-groomed but not pin-up worthy. Kibosh on the silicone, the flowing hair, the J-Lo booty. I think he fell hard for an encyclopedia saleswoman as a young lad and is transfixed by the corsetted, gray-suit type.

Anyway, I'm just speculating.

I have to add that I have Jolie lips, which hung like an awning from my face until I grew into them. Various strangers have sweetly inquired where I had them "done." I'm not polite about it. A) because it is a rude question and b) because it wasn't easy going to nursery school looking like a flounder. Where do you think the acid snark bubbles from? Painful Gemmories.

Kitty certainly toes Phil's line in all things. Years of experience, lots of gold cards.

Dr. Phil pissed me off yesterday with his definition of family only being your current nuclear family and not extended family. He talked like when the children get married the parents are fair game to be cut off at the knees which seems to contadict other batherings about how parents are forevever responsible for their children no matter how old those children are. Blood ties are important and the fact that we've become a nation of pink collar nomads has hurt us in many ways.

I had a couple episodes of "Dr. Phil" stored on my TiVo that I hadn't had time to watch when they were first on. One was the "How does Kitty stay so young looking?" ep (the one where she seeks advice on "aging gracefully" from plastic surgery nightmare Cher, among others -- at least she spent more time with Mimi Rogers, who really DOES look natural and terrific, thank goodness). So Kitty takes three average fortysomethings and, to prove that anyone can be "forty and fabulous," hooks them up with her Beverly Hills skin-care specialist, who proceeds to spend several weeks giving them what must have been tens of thousands of dollars' worth of treatments. Not to mention the consultations with cosmetic dentists, makeup artists, hair stylists and the world's most flamboyant "fashion expert" (he makes Carson Kressley seem shy & retiring by comparison). So what was the point of this show? That incredibly rich people with hours & hours of free time on their hands can look fantastic? Gee, thanks a bunch, Kitty. I'll keep that in mind next time I'm clipping Oil of Olay coupons from the Sunday supplement.

Imwilker I couldn't agree more. What exactly is wrong with wanting to be closer to your family. How can that not be a huge consideration when one is planning to move. Especially when you have kids. Moving can be very stressful and having family members there for support makes it a heck of a lot easier. Most don't have the luxury of being near family members when they must move for a job or whatnot, so I don't understand why Dr. Phil thinks that extended family should not be a consideration at all. Extended family is part of your family and can make the transition to a new town so much easier.

WTF is up with Robin waking up at 5 in the morning to have "ME" time. Does she really think that the solution to a busy mother's problem is to get even less sleep and wake up to do stuff. They also mentioned that early in the morning is when your mind is most lucid and alert. Are you kidding me? Have these people ever been up in the morning? I don't know about anyone else, but I am barely functioning for the first 45 minutes of my day. Why did this woman ask Robin of all people how she does it all? I mean what does Robin do exactly, besides shop and work on the face. And her kids are adults and she acts like she still has this hectic schedule with Dr. Phil and the boys. Boy these two really irk me so much.

Sleep is "ME" time, Robin. Gawd, I hate her.

Hee, word to you all. My mom came over to me after watching that part and said "Are you serious? Getting a dead tired woman up even earlier is their solution? BAH." I do my running in the morning (not anywhere NEAR 5am...), but only because I am so out of it that it's almost like auto pilot when I first wake up so I don't notice what I'm doing so much. I don't have kids though, so eh.

Hell, watching Dr. Phil makes me glad I don't have kids. According to Dr. Phil, unless you follow some utterly arbitrary Rules for Phenomenal Families (please, the only phenomenal families are those too medicated to do anything else), you're going to have ADHD-afflicted, bad-ass, un-Christian little bastards running around. Of course, that will all be the fault of the mother. Because she's responsible for 98.641% of the things that occur in the household. He is such a prat. Robin isn't much better--how the fuck are you gonna tell an exhausted housewife to get up earlier just so she can have some "me" time? If I were a woman and Robin was spouting that tripe at me, I think I would have gone smooth off on her.

Wow - you're faster than me. I can't do anything but routine programming before lunch - the complex solutions have to come after lunch & coffee.

He must be a morning person. I had a morning person boss once, buzzing around like mad all morning while I was in slow motion, and nowhere to be seen once I was up to speed, so of course he thought I was a slacker. It's odd that morning people don't seem to recognize that non-morning people exist.

Thnaks for mentioning that site, parsleysage. You or someone else (maybe on the Staring Over board?) mentioned it a while ago, and I bookmarked it, but then my current ISP program got some problem, and so I lost all my bookmarked sites.

Even Phil's Phenomenal Pholk will chance this too. Raising kids is a crap shoot. You mix your DNA, you take your chances. The most excruciating old-age rumination is that of exemplary folk who did everything as lovingly and wisely as they could and still ended up raising a rotten little shit who made their lives a hell of elephantine proportions.

They do not mention this in Lamaze class.

I caught the last 15 mins of the Extreme Makeovers show yesterday, the part where Rachel, last year's The Swan winner, came on and asked Shill for advice on how not to go back to her old bad habits, etc.

This segment was a prime example of how Shill rarely addresses the question that they come to him for. He totally ignored her question. She even had a "WTF?" look on her face several times because he toally ignored why she was on the show. Same for the Harried Housewife yesterday.

Other talk-help shows aren't like this. I can only hope that Shill addresses their issues by later providing free counseling or support in the town in which they live.

He is 20 kinds of useless.

I'm beginning to suspect that all the "ask Robin" questions are planted by the producers. We're not idiots out here in TV-land; we can see that Robin's life as the spoiled wife of a rich celebrity is about as much like ours as Queen Nor's.

The woman has no business being on our sets. After a few minutes of Robotox, I find formerly disdained women, like Kelly Ripa, absolutely dripping with stage presense and sparkling personality. Robin and Katie Couric really need to go off somewhere fabulously expensive and rub luxurious oils into their knees. Just so we don't have to look at them ever again.

Well, as the show went to a break Phil did lean over and tell her that she looked really great. Because that's all she really needed to hear, and that's the most important thing ever: that Phil thinks she looks great. Her life is now golden.

I was watching a repeat of a show about out of control kids. (I have no idea why.) When to my amazment there was clueless, spineless Mom, Karen and Dad Matt,(I think his name is Matt), with foul mouth Dylan and crying Natalie. The same loons from Nanny 911. my question is, who came first? Nanny or Dr. Phulofit? I wonder if each show knows about the other.
If neither one helps these dumb parents, maybe they could try Family Fear Factor. A good scare might shape everybody up.

Supie - I was wondering the exact same thing! I saw them on Nanny 911 last night. Hopefully the mom takes advice from both shows.

I think it takes a very strange personality to expose one's family issues on national television, but I'm willing to give people a pass if they are really so desperate that they feel this is the only answer. BUT, going on TWO shows? Can you believe what pathetic publicity hounds they are, and at the expense of pimping their kids? These parents are disgusting. If they spent less time and effort trying to get on TV and more disciplining their little brats, they wouldn't have any troubles.

No, I can not. I don't watch "Nanny 911" so I wouldn't have known. That just exceeds the limit for me. The parents and the producers of the shows are shocking for allowing this. We're going to have to come up with a new term for this - like Famewhorsen-by-proxy syndrome or something.

I'm writing this down and dating it before someone else claims percolata's creation. I can so see this in a Style headline.