Yeah, your husband may be cheating on you and have a out-of-wedlock baby on the way...but get to that "me time" on the treadmill.

I need to get some foam "stones" to throw at the TV. I could actually stop watching the show, but that would be far, far too easy....

I thought DP was way too hard on Kandi. The 3 boys complicates things incredibly, obviously, making it definitely much harder for her to just say fuck you and walk away. I'm not saying she's doing things the right away or not, but its a difficult situation. The husband was an arrogant, selfish asshole who just wants to get sex whenever he wants with the other woman and then have his wife make his dinner and cater to his other needs. What a low life prick. He claims to be so intelligent but can't even remember to end one relationship before beginning another one, or, as Phil pointed out, to use protection!! How did this guy become a doctor? Bah.

Maybe it's something I hoped I was catching, but did anyone else notice the unimpressed, icy stares Kandi was shooting at DP? I'm not sure wat exactly she was thinking (of course it could have to do with DP's latest habit of giving his guests the "DUH!" look, or the fetching upper lip curl-over-stache sneer he's been dishing out this year), but all I could think was, "Say it Kandi, Say it!!"

SophieCat,

Oh, heck ya, I caught it, too. Barely concealed disdain. Girlfriend needed some real advice, not that "you're a good person you need some self-esteem" crap.

No sh*t, Sherlock.

He said she thought she was an intelligent woman, but he certainly wasn't treating her like it. I wanted her to be like, "Dr.Phil, the last thing I need is for another man to tell me how to feel and what to think. Can I please have some actual practical advice on how to extricate myself from this position?"

Or she could have just called him a jerkwad, either would have been fine, in my opinion.

Husbad? Still a dick.

I actually meant to type "husband," but I think I like "husbad" better.

Maybe she thought Phil would give her an "out" of sorts by telling her to leave him. Then when he didn't...

Just wondering, Phil: what happened to "you teach people how to treat you"? Oh I forgot, that's 2003 Phil. So it's okay that she's allowing him to act like this and treat her like a doormat, and it's setting a fabulous example for the boys? Gotcha.

I understand it's probably a complicated situation, but still.

Me too. I thought the husband was a dipshit but his wife had a big streak of dipshittiness too. Of course having 3 kids complicates things but you don't argue about divorce, dad's girlfriend and STDs IN FRONT OF THEM. And if your cheatin' husband is torn, conflicted, doesn't know what he wants etc., start giving him ultimatums, such as stop seeing your mistress NOW while we go to couples therapy NOW. Get *something* in motion other than lying around and complaining.

Honestly, I think those two deserve each other. I couldn't muster much sympathy for either one of them.

If you find some of those foam rocks, KimberleeJean, do let us know. I could use a few sets myself... But you can't stop watching... Not only would that be too easy, but the TWoP DrPhillibusters would miss you soo...

But oh my golly gee: that doctor... Mr. & Mrs. Asshat. Just the definition of the term. But DrDingaling also deserves the brilliant moniker of "husbad" (tmKimberleejean).

Ooooh, is everyone excited about Monday's episode? It's "Ask Dr. Phil and Robin day!!" I about rolled off the couch when she started saying "if anyone is going to be naked in Phillip's lap...." Oh, the horrific images... Also on Monday: "What Robin does when she's home alone" - Cue the scene with her doing the Tom Cruise in Risky Business thing - I'm not sure where to start. I don't think I can handle Kitty's wild side. It's just a matter of time before she tells us Kitty's favorite positions... As for today's episode, another shameless plug for BBJ's damn show.

Aww...thanks Stinkylulu. That's sweet.

I guess one thing I do enjoy the show for is my RDA of scheudenfreude. Yeah, I'm a bad person.

Today's guests...oh vey.

Phil said that BBJ's 'Renovate My Family' applicants in the audience just thought they were there to see the show, but when Phil called them up to take a picture with him, they were all visibly miked for sound. They acted really surprised they'd been chosen, so maybe they didn't know that part, but why mike them then?

BBJ has to be the fugliest dweeb on TV...geesh! Plus, he owes me for time spent cleaning up my coffee spill after he actually pried the family apart so that he could get himself into the celebratory group hug. Hate.Him.

Your fiance wants to have a bachelor party complete with boobs and booze and whatnot? Not to fret. You simply say, "Mmkay. I've been wanting a last blowout myself too. Like a tea party. A hen's night. Mild stuff. Sure."

Then you open the yellow pages, pick up the phone and dial."Hello? Schlongs R Us? Yes, I'm having a bachelorette party...well just me so far, so I guess six strippers should do it...no, not in my home. Hotel...yes, I'm over 21 so I'll need booze up the wazoo. Cos I don't have an inhibition period after a couple stiff ones! Once I drank half a carafe of sangria and grabbed this guitarist by the..let's, forget that. First things first. I want Adonis types, ok? Built like brick condos with enormous rain spouts. GINORMOUS rainspouts. Like, a fella would need a weber grill top for a codpiece,ok? ...That's right. Meaty ones.Now, about the massage oils..."

You have to start the equality thing right up front or you'll never catch up. And, Philly & Kitty are NOT the couple to ask about that.

I gotta say... Dr. Phil's new puppy is pretty damn cute. Let's just hope Phil & Robin don't screw her up too much.

My thoughts on today's show:

a) Bachelor Party at the Strip Club - What an idiot! Clearly she wants her fiance to have a party anywhere but the strip club! He keeps going on about "my friends need the strippers", which is a crock of shit.


b)The husband who insists on emailing his ex - He also needs a brick upside his head. If he and the ex-wife are so chummy, why did he divorce her? "She found me and I had to keep in contact with her"? No, you don't. If you don't have children together, you have nothing to talk about! She was obviously an ex for a reason.

c) The parents to be with the drugged up dog - Egad. Put the damn dog out of the house if she insists on tearing up your furniture and lolling in the baby's crib. Better yet, give her to someone who doesn't mind having a high strung dog. They don't mix well with babies.

d) The kid with the Dr. Phil nightmares - Poor thing is just crying for attention since there is now a new sibling.

Word on the puppy, too cute!! Robin? Not so cute.

The bachelor party guy was such an ass. If he wanted to see naked ladies, all he had to do was say it! DP seemed to be on his side. I wouldn't want my fiancee to go to a strip club either, but no matter the right or wrongness of it, she was clearly bothered by it so that's really all that should matter.

ITA about the stupidity of the ex-emailer. I don't even understand his logic. At all. Again, if it bothers her so much, knock it off, asshole!

I don't mind so much about the strip clubs. I've been. IMO, after awhile you get bored with it. Lookee no touchee. Long story short, I'm not threatened, but wouldn't judge wifette if she was. Hubby either gets that or he doesn't.

FINALLY, a guest I can relate to: the three-year-old! "Honey, do you want to meet Dr. Phil?" "Nooooooooooooooooo."

That little kid was hilarious!

But putz men-folk...good grief! If it bothers your partner, you have a problem! How many times did Dr. Phil and Robin have to say that? But then, going to a strip club to celebrate one's pending nuptials never made much sense to me either, and I fully understand that once you start hiding things from the wife you claim to be madly in love with, that ain't good.

And what was with that guy anyway? Why would you tell your wife that someone else is a once in a lifetime love? If she was that special, you should have married her then, idiot!

Tomorrow: Desperate housewives clue in the husbands! I can hardly wait!

So now we know what Robin does when she's alone at home... makes Jell-O and slides around the wood floors in hubby's tennis socks?! I knew it was too much to hope for that the words "Hitachi Magic Wand" would come into play. On second thought, my brain feels soiled enough after Robin's comment about being naked (shudder) on Phil's lap (SHUDDER).

Nuts! Just when I managed to forget. Thanks a bunch.

At the end of the show Shill talked to a woman in the audience who wrote to inquire if he likes reality shows. She said she loves Fear Factor. Shill commented that they were eating pig's blood this week on the show. She replied that she thought is was great. Gross! Did you catch Shill's sneer and look of disdain when he turned to look at Robin after this woman's comment. I don't blame him though but I was still surprised that he made no pretense of hiding his disdain for the guest. Did you see it?

What the hell is one night/party compared to the feelings of your sig. other? I think the decision would be easy... As for the fluffy mullet with the ex-wife emails, I'd tell him where he can put his fucking piece of history. I especially like his generous offer of having the ex call his wife to "comfort" her. Kitty would have Phil's balls in a sling if he emailed the first Mrs. Phil. What an ass. As for the the fear factor thing MyraA, I noticed. Gee, it's hard to believe he didn't make it as a therapist. I believe, in that field, it's important to hide your looks of disdain!

Geez, how boring. I was hoping she'd at least read a book or hang with girlfriends.

I miss the FUFs.

I don't get the bachelor night hangup from either side. On one side, I don't get the notion that you can't have an enjoyable bachelor party without strippers, and its seriously not worth hurting your future wife's feelings about. On the otherhand, I don't really get the hangup about the guys going to a strip bar for their bachelor party. Just get the name of the club they're going to. Make sure its a mainstream "gentleman's club", and not some back alley brothel, and let the guys have their night out while you go get some male strippers for your bachelorette party.

On a local morning radio talk show they had a contest where men could call in and plead their cases as to why their fiances were most deserving to have an all-paid for bachelorette party complete with houseboat on the lake for the location, catering, open bar and male strippers, and the phone lines were jammed with guys trying to win the party for their fiances.

And yes ... I should have known .. the McGraws are indeed the world's best pet owners. To go along with the world's best parents. The world's best marriage. The world's best home decorators. The world's best exercise and nuitrition experts. And the world's best Republicans.

Speaking of which -- what happened to the FUT (F***ed Up Town)? I thought we were going to get a whole season's worth of Phil "saving" Elgin, TX, slashing the rates of teen pregnancy and domestic violence, etc. Instead, he seems to have dropped them like a hot rock. If those shows were doing well in the ratings, I'm sure they'd be on during sweeps month. Maybe he wasn't really welcomed with open arms, despite what the footage on the show led us to believe?

Yep, who'da thunk it that we'd ever be nostalgic for the days of Skanky Stacey, Patriarch Marty, etc.

It does seem like the PP Programmers are experimenting with things during this november sweeps cycle... The mentions of FamilyFirst are a teensy bit down. FUT & this season's FUF are nowhere to be seen -- replaced insteed by stoopit "Ask PP & Kitty Surprise" shows & the like. But much to my evil delight, the DisparatelyDesperate Housewives are all over the teevee.

And goldarnit if that BornAgainHooch, with her chatterbox moralism, didn't have the strangest husband I think I've ever seen on teevee. Almost cute (in a limited brain capacity way), he seemed alternately like her perfect partner in the "I'm a super victim" relay &/or ready to change into his tracksuit & drink the KoolAid. Fuh-REAKY.

And PillPoppinMama's hubbie? Seemed like MrMisogyny to me... EEuW.
The only husband I liked was MrCopenhagen. He seemed real sweet.

I do like this series. I find myself hoping that they add -- like the promos suggest -- an even more "Desperate Housewife" every week... With the winners getting spa treatments & grocery gift cards & big stuffed toys & PP merchandise & Kitty makeovers & lots more...

Oh the humanity...

Watched yesterday......the Pornlovin'Husband and his desparate housewife who was porking a married man. I simply could NOT get over her facial contortions while she cried.....one eye open, one closed, the mouth that would not stop mutating. I was laughing so hard I almost threw up and missed everything she said. Of course, I don't care what the ho said, but......

couldn't drShill have found people with more interesting problems than (yawn) cheaters and (snooze) pukers?

To all who wonder what happened to the FUT--

People, it's been FOOTBALL SEASON! Folks in these parts got better things to worry about than teenage pregnancy, child rearin', unfaithful marriages, and all that other stuff--least until the end of regular season play.

Now, Elgin did not make the playoffs, so their season is over--making the brand-new stadium available once again for Dr. Phil's group therapy sessions.

I felt like Phil gave porn husband a get out of jail free card. Phil's case against porn, that that actress was "somebody's daughter" just seemed weak and patriarchal. What about what the porn addiction was doing to the man's wife? I'm not sure that the idea that the porn actresses and centerfolds and strippers that men enjoy are daughters/sisters/mothers in the real world hasn't occured to them.If they cared at all, women would not be bartered like cattle. But that's another argument.

The "have a conscience" about them should fall well behind the "have a conscience" about your wife whom you know (hopefully) is a real human being.

I don't think giving yourself over to be used as a tool for another man's penis is the answer.Weepy porn wife was ferociously incorrect there. Just immoral. Instead, after a few fair warnings, she should have ripped porn husband's own penis right off of his body, tossed it into a wastepaper basket, clapped her hands together and said, "problem solved."


ETA: You know, I was waaaaay harsh. Please subsitute "a wastepaper basket" with "husband's front pocket." Thanks.

Mr. loudfan and I have nicknamed her "Grimace."



Yeah, but just when you're getting bored, he promises a new, even more desperate housewife whose problems are worse than ALL SEVEN of the original DHs' problems put together!! Of course it's just hype, but darned if I won't be excitedly tuning in next week to find out what her issue is. Curse you Dr. Phil!

sorry for the double post... I'm experiencing technical difficulties...

THANK you! I kept waiting for Dr. Phil to talk a little more about porn addiction being disrespectful to his wife and their marriage.

The ugly cryin' broad's husband was an ass. The entire time his wife was trying to tell him what was going on, he wouldn't even look her in the eye. The other guy found out that his wife was a friggin' street pharmacist and he still looked her in the eye! But Porn Dude. Not once! I wanted to kick his shins. Geez.

I had my first dose of "Dr. Ed The Whore Dog" yesterday and he made me sick to my stomach. Who in their right mind screeches out "She's better in bed than you" in front of their children??? And he's "always wanted a little girl"???? What about those three little boys that he didn't even bother to call when they separated before?

The other woman's side of the story would have been laughable, if the whole situation was not so sad. You just know she threw that part about having Ed sign over his parental rights so he'd come back to her for good.

Dr. Phil did not lay the smackdown hard enough on him but he got him a few times. I wish he'd torn him a new one for the part about how he was "taking it for all the other guys out there." Not all guys are immature, stupid sluts like Dr. Ed.

Sing it!

Dr. Ed is a horse's ass. He was being so smug and whatever. I just wanted Dr. Phil to smack the crap out of him. He was a narcissistic prick, and he deserved to have his hide run up one side of the wall and down the other.

I was watching with my hubby when Ed made that "taking it for all the other guys out there crack," and I thought the hubby was going to reach through the television.

I feel bad for his wife. Not just because she is married to that loser, but because their kids are half him and she's got her work cut out for her. On one hand, she should kick his useless but to the curb. On the other hand, that would make it too easy for him. He's been wishy-washy and indecisive so that she would just kick him out and keep him from having to make a choice. What an ass.

Dr. Ed is a fucking child! No, you can't have both, and yes, now there are children on both sides, which I'm sure interferes with his fun.... Did anybody catch whether or not the other woman was on birth control? I wonder if she "oopsed" him, because I can't imagine someone as immature as Ed wanting a kid mucking u his cozy affair. They had also been at it for some time, so I can't help but wonder if she was looking for a little extra leverage. "Anything to snags me a doctor!"

I also watched the show with dh, and he especially liked the "taking one for the guys" bit. What a man! Of all the things to say in his defense, that had to be least effective.

From what I've seen, the wife's time would be best spent in a lawyer's office from now on. I'd make sure, whether he continued with the mistress or not, that he wouldn't have the money to buy crap for himself, nursey, or anyone else unless it came from the nearest dollar store.

During their first appearance last week, Ed said that after a certain point, he and the mistress thought they were going to be together, so they just stopped using birth control because they figured that it didn't matter if she got pregnant or not.

My heart really went out to the wife when she said "That's supposed to be my daughter! That was my sperm!" They might be able to fix things, but I'm not sure if I'd want to if I were her. He seems like the kind of guy who would do it again just because he got bored one Saturday afternoon. Why set yourself up for that?

I would clean him out too. Bastard.

I hope Betty Broderick has been following this from the TV room. It wasn't HER husband's affair that ultimately pushed her over the homicidal edge, it was his relentless mind games. Dr Ed's back and forth, screaming taunts and stupid threats are so classic.

I was simply charmed by Phil's summation that doctors and nurses "play footsie" because nurses want to snag a Dr and "not have to work as nurses anymore."

And executives who look like Cary Grant chase their secretaries around the desk while their wives wait back in New Rochelle with a chilled martini pitcher. Somebody get Phil a calendar.

Hey Phil, here in 2004 it is commonly recognized that nurses are professionals. They can be either male or female. Same with doctors. Whenever grown people in a workplace setting flirt it is usually because grown people flirt. I'm not saying it's right, but I can't believe you think it is about economic advancement.

And Phil, why isn't balling his mistress in his marital bed while his wife nurses her terminal father a "drop dead deal breaker"? In my estimation, what Dr Ed did was make a fist and punch Kandi hard in the stomach. Just because you don't leave a mark doesn't mean you haven't beat the crap out of someone.

Did he really say that? Holy crap is he out of his gourd or what? Wait--do we have to start calling her Nurse Kitty???

Yep, threw the entire nursing profession under the bus. We have long suspected that Phil is not of this century, and well, there ya go.

My mother has worked as a registered nurse in hospitals and doctor's offices for years, and the nurse/doctor footsie thing DOES happen. Actually quite a bit. My neighbor is married to a doctor, and she's a nurse, and they got married right after he got divorced from his first wife.

That being said, this whole situation was just pathetic. Staying with your whoring husband while he continues to talk to the pregnant unpaid prostitute? Standing there while he tells you in front of your own kids that the unpaid prostitute is better in bed than you? And you're staying cause why? I don't know how that woman shows her face on national television. Does she really think she still has a marriage?

The husband is only staying with her so he doesn't have to pay spousal support. He doesn't talk to his kids when he goes back to the unpaid prostitute periodically because he's too busy getting laid, not because it hurrrrtttsssss.

Of course it happens, but it happens in all professions and not because all nurses (female) want to snatch doctors (male) away from their wives (hausfraus) because work is sooo icky. That was the point Phil was making and he disrespected the majority of working women (nurse, doctors, lawyers or bricklayers) who do not want to marry money and lie about eating sugar free bon bons like Kitty Surprise.

Phil lets his real agenda slip out in the most inocuous ways.

Did you see the episode where he told a single woman she needed to lower her standards, and then brought her back and celebrated when she landed a guy who had abandoned his 2 year old son to move across the country and was going to be leaving for over a year to be in the military overseas? Cause relationships work best when you know each for only a couple months before a long-term separation. And a guy who abandons his kid in another state makes a great catch.

No kidding. I had a very tiny bit of sympathy for this guy in the last show, because he seemed like a confused, mostly clueless cheating doofus. But hearing about this little incident, plus how he insulted his wife's prowess in the sack in front of the kids, makes him a real shit to me. Just punch your wife in the face and get it over with. You shit.

After all this, why oh why is Kandi still with this guy? How much of a masochist is she? I get that she might still want to make the marriage work, maybe for the kids' sake, but doesn't she see just how ugly and mean her husband really is? If it were me I'd have seen a divorce lawyer a long time ago.

Boy you guys are tuff! Hey, I don't condone the cheating husband, but if there's one thing I've learned, it's that there's two sides to every story and it's not too often that a happily married man screws around. Happens, yes, but there's other issues in play then. And I sure didn't see her being warm and fuzzy in front of the kids either. Excuse me, the 7 year old is talking about the other woman? Gee, wonder whether mommy might have said a few nasty things in front of him. But it seems to me she's getting a free ride on the "ownership" of some problems that she might have.

Dr. Ed and his wife have really frustrated the hell out of me each time they've been on. They are both two seriously messed up people, so much so that it seems like a waste of time to try and help them. He's obviously a dick, we all get that. But the fact that she just takes all of it is what lets him treat her like that in the first place. She's not just hurting herself, she's hurting her kids. They are so screwed.

What I saw in Kandi was the after result of having the rug pulled right from underneath her. Her husband got his mistress pregnant, she is parenting three kids while she awaits the protracted passing of her father.

If she had begun this marriage fat, slovenly, mean-mouthed, accusatory and with 24 hour B.O. it would have been grounds for Dr Ed to ask for a divorce-- not screw another woman, move out, come back and play kissy face, get pissy, brag that the other woman was tighter, firmer and more knowledgable in the sack,say hellacious things so "Mommy" will punish him by kicking his fugly ass to the curb.

Why would a woman who lived an exemplary life for twenty years and raise a handful of kids, do volunteer work, sing in her church choir and excel at a demanding, professional position suddenly shoot the nuts off of her philandering husband? The same way a steady dripping of water can drive one insane.

I see a beaten down woman in Kandi, doing and saying things she never thought she would in a million years, back when the lights were on. It's an old story; hardly ever has a happy ending.

Finally, Thank you shok119 !!!

It's about time someone said something about this wife and her shortcomings. I am a woman and I am all about blaming the man when necessary, but come on!!! This lady has had all of the heat taken off of her and she just sits there and watches Phil scold the husband.

What is she thinking?? I think that she is a spoiled rich lady that didn't get her way when her husband decided that he wanted sex and she wouldn't give it so it went to someone else. This wife is a control freak who wants everyone to think that her husband is to blame for everything.

Phil just told both of them to stop yelling in front of the children and then we see them doing it again. We can be sure that they are terrible parents. They should have never had kids. They need to grow up first. I can't believe that the kid knew the OW's name!! Who told him that?? The mother did when she was bitching about the father to the kids. That is so stupid and immature!!

The wife just needs to get another man. It is not like she is giving up a kidney! It is only a man, get another one and live off the doc's money. That'll show him.

I think she is just spoiled and didn't get her way so she is taking down the kids with her. I am glad that she's not my mother.

What do you mean, "another?" The butt ugly jerk she's married to is about 9, chronologically speaking. Cock size, probably a 3, and thank God for the metric system.

And I'm NEVER surprised when women are asked to share the blame for infidelity, abuse or rape. Several websites wondered if Laci had provoked Scott. It's a man's world, hence its condition.

Word Infinity. I just couldn't believe that Dr. Asshole had the stone cold nerve to threaten to bring his mistress into the house!!! That would have been a "drop dead shovel to the back of his head".

I'm kinda sick of the blaming the wife thing, too. Even if Kandi was the most evil woman in the universe, that isn't reason enough to step out on your marriage. End things with your wife, then move on! Why is it necessary for men to utterly humiliate the woman they claim to love? I would rather Mr. Star leave my ass then parade some new bitch in front of me and the little Stars.

Not only did he threaten, he actually did it. I would have made him buy a new mattress too. That's totally a deal breaker.

Kandi didn't get off completely. She was called out on her part, mostly talking about the affair in front of the kids, even after she said she wouldn't do it anymore. Other than that, while Ed may not have been getting what he was wanting/needing from her (which, after listening to him shoot his stupid mouth off, I somehow doubt, or at least think that his demands might have been childish and unreasonable), two wrongs still don't make a right. She may have been preoccupied with the lame and meaningless jobs of running a household and raising the kids (that bitch), but that doesn't give him the right to go and play house with someone else.

While I agree that it takes two people to screw up a marriage, it only takes one to screw around. I'm with you, Star. If Mr. EffKay decided that he didn't want to be with me anymore, he can just tell me and we can deal with the kids and the whatever. But then, he knows full well that after everything we've been through together, parading some whore in front of me and the kids is grounds for lynching.