I for one feel stood up. First we hear "all new Dr. Phil" and then we find that the true opening salvo is not for some time. Frankly, I'm getting tired of Phil wetting his lips and stroking his pate in that come hither way and then not following through. (Although, speaking of amorous Phil, I noticed today that when the camera panned Robin [as Phil reminisced about conceiving their boys] she looked as if she wished she were married instead to the stage manager or the boom operator or the cue card fella or Koko the ape. Anybody but Phil. Almost as if the mere mention of coupling with Phil gave rise to a little nausea, as we long suspected it would.Hmm.)

Anyway, Phil has promised us in the first week of new shows footage so shocking and awe-inspiring and telepathic and rotten and chartreuse he can't even show it to us yet!
This means families out of control, maybe ARMED families out of control. Lots of bleeping and baby daddies running from the stage and so forth.
Let us join together in thanksgiving that Phil has tumbled down the Springer slope. Wheee!

For anyone who saw today's episode with the "dancer"/STRIPPER, what the hell was that accent? First I thought it was just a "blaccent" but then as she continued I heard Boston, and some foreign country.
Can anyone help me out with this?

I think Phillip already started down the Springer slope today with the "My Daughter's a Stripper" segment. I'm so tired of America's fascination with the sleeze world. All the primetime dramas set in Vegas so they have an excuse to have showgirls in the background of every scene and all the talk show concern over "I Want to be a Stripper" and "My Boyfriend Doesn't Know I'm a Hooker." The hosts all have this fake concern about the reasons why and the danger the girls are in. I'll tell you why she's doing it Phil. Easy money. Didn't she show you the jewelry and clothes? Do you think she wants to get up early and work eight hours at Wal-Mart for half the money she gets for one hour of dancing? When are we going to have all that concern about danger focused on the over weight girl who works nights at the convenience store?

The biological mother of the bi-racial girl? She thinks she'd be embarrassed to have people know she had a black child? I'd hunt her down and tell everyone she knew that she was too selfish and cruel to give up one hour of her life to meet with her own flesh and blood. I'd give her something real to be ashamed of. Big time hate for that woman.

The husband of the woman who was dying to have a baby was a complete asshole. I understand where he was coming from, and he has every right to not want to have another child at that stage in his life as far as his own needs go. It's his life and if he doesn't want a child, he doesn't want one, not everyone does. But to tell your wife that her need to have a child isn't legitimate or important because she gave a baby up for it's own benefit 20 some odd years ago is absurd! I hope she gets rid of him (what was his name, Fritz? Yeesh...) and finds someone who is supportive of her.

Dagnabbit! I forgot to update my VCR programming and missed DP's show. Did he really have an "I Want To Be A Stripper" segment?

Yes Phil was quick to say this was simply live porn. But he showed at least four or five minutes of this young woman dancing in a see-through lace outfit. Probably locked himself in a room with that footage, then got all sanctimonious about how wrong it was. BTW, private bachelor parties are WORSE than strip clubs because what now? Oh yeah. Cops don't stop by with regularity to insure the dancers' safety. Oh, Phil.

Fritz looked and sounded like ass, so I'm at a loss. However, the adopted woman being shut out by her birth mom might want to count her blessings and move on. Ask the woman for health info for both birth parents and a photo but don't let down your guard.
She seems like a strong but vulnerable young woman, and may be setting herself up for real pain.

This season, Phil is going after the big ratings, not as Tell It Like It Is Phil but as PT Barnum. Put a fiver on that.

Is the show getting a new theme song?

I was watching Oprah and there was an advertisement for the new Dr. Phil season (the show is switching affiliates). It showed a random shitload of clips along with Meredith Brooks dancing around and singing. I wonder if that is going to be the new theme song.

I wonder if the original channel that had Dr. Phil doesn't like the direction the show is going and they wanted to dump it.

I thought today's show was a welcome switch from the majority of last season. Granted, the stories were a touch on the "Maury" side, but the underlying issues were interesting. The first couple was sad as that guy flat out did his wife wrong. I was getting uncomfortable for her as this was all unraveling on tv.

The stripper girl was actually very sad as she was trying so hard to bury her grief over her dad's death. Her behavior was so revealing and I was very impressed that DrP offered to find her help instead of just sending her back out amongst 'em. I don't doubt she's doing way more than she's leading others to believe. Hopefully she gets a good therapist who can bring out that buried grief.

The lady looking for her bio-mom should also be in counseling. She's looking for something else... more than just meeting this woman out there somewhere. But I totally sympathized as she struggled to put the pieces together. I wish her all the best and peace of mind.

I was getting a NYC Puerto Rican vibe from her. Obviously her Mom was white bread, but in the photos of her late Dad, he definitely looked Spanish. You know, if she was smarter, not screwed up emotionally and a bit older, I would support her stripping as a ways to a means. I mean put a time limit on it, stash the dough in some good index funds and plan your future.

I think it was a Hawaiian accent. Dad looked Filipino to me.

I didn'r agree w/ Dr. Phil on any of the segments, but maybe something is wrong w/ me.

The lady who wanted a baby and the husband didn't--Phil kept saying that the husband wasn't willing to sacrifice to keep his wife happy. What about the kid that would result from them getting/having a baby? I thought he didn't want to do it because it's more than buying his wife a car/new house/jewelry. It's a person who would need to deal with the dynamics of mom and dad. Bad dynamics. But I have absolutely no biological clock, so maybe I just don't get the feelings the wife had.

Stripper girl--again, I must have no scruples. I wish I had the body to be a stripper. They make serious bank! She could do it and then go to college, no loans. She likes the money, Phil! Maybe the bling bling makes her forget the loss of her father, but she's aware that she's messed up. Maybe mom and Phil should not be condemming and be comforting.

The girl looking for her bio mom. It was mentioned that bio mom said she was raped. Maybe she doesn't want to relive that by seeing her bio kid. Not the most gracious thing, but definitely plausible. Again, having no bio clock, I think if I gave away a kid for adoption, I wouldn't want him/her to find me and tell me how incomplete and sad they are...the alternative (for me) would have been to terminate the pregnancy! Again, I must be weird. I'm a sport--I have "no one's" eyes or looks (the girl wanted to know who she looked like), I don't take after anyone in my family, except for certain personality quirks that were most likely a result of my upbringing. I think looking for/obsessing over "real" parents diminishes the great job and love that the adoptive family has given.

That's what I think too. I kept hoping that Dr Phil would bring that valid point up but he never did. What an idiot! Maybe the bio mom has been in counseling to try to get over what happened to her (if that's even possible) and having the kid she gave up come and try to find her won't help any.

We must get shows one day before everyone else or something! Heh.

I kind of think that the husband couldn't bring his cynical ol' heart to feel sorry for his wife because, in not getting what she wants, she was being a bitch to him. He was right that he showed no emotion for how bad his wife felt. I mean, you dont have to bend to her but at least you show that you care about the fact that she isnt -- well -- happy.

But she was completely fucktarded if she entered into a relationship that became committed and that then led to marriage before they had properly ironed out all of the major details and having children is certainly one of the major details.

Those who fail to plan ahead have no one to blame but themselves for the faulty houses they build. I have no sympathy for stupid people who torpedo themselves and then cry about it.

Now, on the other hand, fully or implicitly committing to have children at the time of the commitment or the marriage (and then chickening out after a mate has already invested precious fertile years into both you and the marriage) is just plain shitty!

Anyway, the child she gave up has no bearing on whether or not she should have another baby now and even if her stupidity did bring this on the husband sounds like kind of an asshole.

However, he's the Father of 3 and middle aged, I can understand him not wanting to start all over.

However, he should have been clear with himself and her from the get-go.

So did anyone see yesterday's show with the childish, abandoment-issues wife? Anyone else want to smack her?

Oh and Robin talking about how perfect her daddy was? So precious. And how does this help the viewers at home again? Hee, and I love how Phil started bragging on big-butted Jay..."he's 24, third year of law school, has written several books and is one of People Magazine's Most Eligible Bachelors!" Yeah Phil. He's writing books. I believe that. Oh, I also believe that he's attractive to the opposite sex and his ass doesn't look like a large baquette handbag.

I missed today's ep with the eating disorder. Can someone dish?

I saw the eating disorder one, which really hit home for me because I have recently been made aware that I have one. I'm not nearly as bad as this girl, but some of the things she was doing were really familiar to me, and it's very scary to be in this situation.

I liked the girl, she was very articulate and didn't give a bunch of one word answers just to appease the all mighty Shill. She was extremely thin and looked to be fairly tall too, though they never actually said her height and weight (just that she was less than 100lbs.). She said seeing Brandon the drug addict helped her get a wake up call and seek help. Brandon taped a video, a very dim witted well wishing speech to the girl. Sweet, but man he doesn't sound very bright at all. He looked good though.

I thought DP did an excellent job of trying to understand where she was coming from and not to minimize it or just tell her she needs to eat. He also made her understand what she needs to do. I'm glad she's going into treatment and that she can continue to get better.

Thanks, katymo! The subject interests me as well because I had a pretty bad experience in high school with my own eating disorder. Hang in there, you're going to beat it, okay? Good luck to you.

Now I'm sorry I missed it. They should do an entire show on that instead of "Send Me To Booty Camp!" or whatever he does.

So did anyone watch Jay's show last night? There's a thread for it in the how-to reality shows section -- opinions varied about the quality of the show but it seems a lot of people don't care for Jay!

Also, the promo for the upcoming season that was broadcast during Tuesday's show promised an episode with BOTH FUFs! I hope it is a steel cage match. I want to see Marty & Chris battle it out! Hair-pulling between Brianna & Katherine! Erin giving Stacy the smackdown!

Tomorrow is another "working vs. stay at home moms." I may have to give that one a miss. According to the description on drphil.com, Robotoxin comes on at the end "to help them see past their judgments." Awwww.

And if he's still in law school at SMU why does he need that mansion in the Hollywood Hills Shill bought for him? And if he's still in law school at SMU are all the families in Renovate My Family gonna be from DFW like the Biggins. My brother graduated from SMU law school a few years ago and he certainly barely had time to work part-time and attend classes!

No lie, SiameseCatLady, how can you be in school....LAW school of all things, and be hosting a show, writing books and the like, unless maybe Big Daddy has already "bought" that law degree for the Butt.

Working moms 'vs' stay at home? The last time they tried that was the worst. show. ever. It was galling to hear such blatant and judgmental opinions and no move made by the Shill to reach any middle ground.

A pox on his house for dragging that back into the spotlight.

Big Butt's maiden voyage on the good ship Renovate was summarily dissed on the how-to reality board. I didn't say anything bad about Jay I swear. Bwahaha. As for Big Daddy's topics...eek.

Please, please, please puh-leeze pass a law, Congress, so that the topic "working moms vs stay at home moms" is never, ever given a forum again ever. I'm just not sure why it keeps getting "debated." Make your choices and then STFU about it. Same thing with married vs single. Marry or don't, but quit caterwauling about how "fulfilled" you are either way. The parenthood vs childless folks too. Be parents or don't but don't try to recruit. Live your life and let everyone else live theirs. Totie Fields on a futon, give it a rest.

Thank you for this line.... LOL!!

I think Phil just takes great pleasure in making women shriek at each other so they look like deranged harpies. He can sit back and shake his head like, "Women are so beneath me...let me show them my WIFE. That's a REAL woman!" That's the point of the show, right? To showcase Kitty again?

BWAH!!! Gemmadoll, I love you. We are soul sistas.

Jay graduated from SMU in May. Much buzzing in the audience, as Phil and Robin were in attendance at the graduation ceremony. According to the friends of mine there who had dealt with him, he was kind of a jerk and not very well-liked.

I'm Back! I have been scarce on here for the few months since Cooper aka LilB was born, but now, he is a roly poly 3 month old that is sleeping thru the night and giving Mommy some peace, so she is back on the boards. Missed you guys!

Ya'll, I had to come back after reading that statement from some stay at home nitwit above on drphil.com. The shows were new this week, so I decided to check it out. I cannot decide if I am going to watch the show today (Mom vs. Mom- just the title is infuriating) because I know it will piss me off to high heaven. I think this stay at home mom versus working mom debate is second in pointlessness only to the breastfeeding versus bottle feeding debate. Both shows a very negative picture of women that is unneccessary.

Some women go to jobs! Some work at home! If you do either right, your kid will not be an axe murderer. If you suck, then the kid will suck. I am a stay at home mom, but let me tell you, I have seen so many of my friends with kids who are little monsters because they stay at home with the kid, they are the only one who takes care of the kid, and the kid has no exposure to anyone but Mommy and their house. No one else can take care of them and they cannot leave the house. One friend- It was cute when he was a newborn (well to her it was cute, but I thought it was weird) but now the kid is a year old and she has a mess on her hands. And the poor child does not even like his dad because she would not let him take care of the kid!
Socialization, people. The key is socialization! LilB stays with Miss Denita at my gym while mommy tries to lose these last friggin 7 lbs.

I did like the point the make where the real battle is between mothers and society, because society does treat mothers like SHIT. This parenting stuff ain't easy, and they are helping nobody by making it an adversarial issue!

Welcome back, borokat!
Home-bound mom here too. I agree that whether you work or you're with your child all the time, socialization is a good idea. With Daddy, with your friends, at the playground.
I couldn't watch today's show. Oh, but I'm sure Dr. Phil won the debate and it's all settled now. :p

Word, word, and word to everyone's posts.

I don't see why PP is debating this issue again.

The Stay At Home Mom's (on the show) continue to deny their social, professional, and economic vulnerability (as well as their territoriality and self-serving scheduling which excludes working women).

Meanwhile, The Workplace Mom's continue to pretend that their children don't lose out on attachment time when they are infants if they don't have a solid and consistent 1-on-1 relationship with a caregiver.

However, the war really is between families and a society which continues to run itself on the slave labor of women (and others) and has structured it's academic and professional systems and advancement requirements in ways that penalize women, men, children, and families, that weaken us at every level.

Busted babies become busted adults who's performance is impaired in both work, relationships, and as parents. It is a vicious cycle we've got to find a way to break.

Sigh... some days I am THIS CLOSE to emigrating Sweden or the Netherlands.

It's really pitiful that with all of our knowledge and resources we still can't resolve this shit. But, them's the breaks of living in a Sociopathically Turbocharged Patro-Capitallist Society.

Welcome back, borokat!

If the SAHMs and working moms on the show were truly happy with their choices, they wouldn't be so defensive. Why should it matter to a SAHM if her neighbor decides to have a career outside the home? As long as children are being taken care of, it's none of her damned business.

So did Kitty Surprise indeed come on at the end as the voice o'reason? I refuse to watch SAHM vs. working mom shows; it's the equivalent of when the pro-Israel folks debate pro-Palestinians on talk radio. They always manage get the most extreme people on both sides, and no minds are ever changed.

FWIW, my mom was a SAHM and Mr. loudfan's mom worked, and we both turned out fine. It's so obvious that there IS no one "right" answer here. To me, feminism means giving women the power to make their own choices. If you don't agree with the choice your neighbor made, MYOB.

Word, loudfan--if a woman is comfortable with her situation, or at least to making the best of it, then it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks. Every family is different and what works for every family is different.

I wish the good doctor would really sit down with some of these raving moms and explore the insecurity, guilt, and fear that I suspect fuels their passionate opinions on the subject. I also wish that the good doctor would explore these issues off camera, 'cause I don't really want to watch any more of this endless drek.

Excellent point. I kept wondering where they were going with this debate over where mom's spend their day. The SAHM was just a bit too hostile for my liking. The WM had an excellent point in how it has more to do with the quality of time spent with the young'uns. Seeing as she was a teacher, I give her input a bit more weight. Overall though, they may just have well been debating abortion or gun control for all the resolution they were(n't) making.

Okay, so is the new trend going to be getting Kitty's input at the end of every show? Will it be like at the end of Springer where he suddenly gets philosophical and wraps it all up in a neat package?
Btw, Jaybronee's not running for public office is he? Sounds like DrP has been trying to push him on us pretty heavy lately. You don't think he's trying to promote his boy's work do you???? nnnaaaaahhhhh.....

Well Jay has written several books so obviously he's an extremely gifted young man. Why shouldn't he run for mayor?

Bwahahahah!

Welcome back, Borokat!

Having been a SAHM and a WM, I can understand both sides of the debate. However, ITA that this issue doesn't have to be so adversarial. What these people don't understand is that everyone's situation is different. Society sucks for pitting women against each other when we need to be pulling together. Bring back the Village!

It is so true that it takes a village to raise a child. If I had not had my and MrB's family these past 3 months, I would have jumped off the roof by now. Or followed thru on my threat to sell LilB to the gypsies! :)

I used to think that moms should stay at home if they have the opportunity. But now I realize that it is not so black and white. I am grappling with the decision to go to Antigua next week for 5 days (in the middle of hurricane season, nonetheless!). LilB will be going to MotherInLawBorokat's house whom he adores (but not as much as he loves GrandmommaBorokat- snerk). LilB will be in good hands and we really need the time away, between MrB losing his father, and having a new bouncing, squawling baby in the house- it has been a rough year at times. BUT- I feel so selfish. I want DP to do an episode on this new Supermom Trend. When we are socialized to believe to be Good Mommies, we need to wear khaki slacks, cut our hair into some sensible short do, and spend every waking moment either taking our child to baby violin classes or watercoloring in the kitchen. Oh yeah, and drive a minivan (not dissing you minivan driving folks, promise). Its just that whole Parent magazine trend about how we are supposed to be enriching our kids lives 24 hours a day. I don't know about you guys, but I am tired! And I am tired of the I am not a WOMAN, I am a MOM chicks!!!

ITA that a "SuperMom" epi would be more interesting than the rehashed SAHM/WM debate.

Guess what, borokat? One of the best ways to enrich their lives is to leave them the hell alone and let them think their own thoughts, create something, or just daydream. My kids have gymnastics, dance, soccer, etc., but they also have hours of unscheduled time every week to do whatever. It's how we all stay sane.

IIRC, Oprah did a show with the author of "The Over-Scheduled Child" quite a while back that was very enlightening. Maybe DrP could get the guy's phone number from her.

At first scan of this thread I thought "Totie Fields on a futon" was a description of Jay's butt.

"Cooper" is the coolest name, Borokat. Makes me think of a fave actor Chris Cooper.

I saw that "over-scheduled child" show, divasahm. I've always felt sad for the kids who don't get time to play their own fantasy games. I had a great childhood and hours and hours of it were spent in a tree swing in the woods. Daydreaming...good...

The Mind of the Adulterer episode which aired this morning was even worse than I thought it was going to be.

Patriarch Phil blamed the outside third party (Naturally, it was a woman!) for "interfering" in the marriage of the established couple (No matter how shitty said marriage might actually be!) so I guess all "Other Women" must come equipped with powerful Vaginal Tractor Beams to ensnare those clueless "Good Ole Boys" whom apparently cannot make any rational decisions on their own and are therefore completely blameless if they decide to emotionally or sexually go outside the marriage.

Harlot #1 actually did make some good points and raised some very valid questions about the ethics of what happens when people fall in love with someone else and are in a shitty marriage? Should they stay? Should they go? Naturally, Phil did his usual simplistic Cave Paintings about Earning Your Wait Out of the Marriage and Finishing Up Your Marital Business. I have to accept the fact that Dr. Phil and I are never going to agree on Gender Roles, Abortion, Parenting, or Marriage/Separation/Divorce.

The Busted Serial Cheater and his Wimpy/Dumpy/Co-Dependent wife were absolutely hysterical to watch because they showed this scene of them in the living room with him solidly in Emotionally Unavilable Guy-Land and Watchin' TV and her in Perpetually Co-Dependent Woman Land sitting on the sofa and looking pathetic and doing the usual stupid woman thing of asking him if he wants to do what she herself wants for herself and come over to cuddle. Had she been assertive and said:

"I'd very much like to be held at some point this evening if you have time and inclination."

... then I could have respected her for asking for what she wants but she was clearly valedictorian of the Women Whom Are Without Self-Esteem & Assertiveness Academy. It also sounds like she rushed him into marriage which gives her even less room to maneuver in terms of playing victim.

Good thing she's not involved with me, I'd have kicked her pathetic cry-baby ass to the curb on the first date. I knew there was a reason I like strong and direct women.

Note to Women:

Using duplicity and/or guile to land and/or hang on to your man usually backfires and then you have to start over with nothing in the end anyway.

Recommendation:

Try being honest and building a good relationship from the outset, trust me, it saves time and energy later.

Harlot #2 was completely emotionally busted. All she did was belly-ache over her repetition compulsion to find and hook up with unavailable men. The woman needs therapy to figure out why she keeps choosing the men she does, not Dr. Phil's stupid and sanctimonious platitudes.

BTW, after PP makes one of this Moralistic Points Du Jour has anyone noticed how he actually now pauses which gives the audience the signal that it's time clap because Phil just scored a smackdown or a touchdown?

I kind of agreed with Phil today.

I've never believed that if a man strays it automatically means that something is wrong with the wife. I think a lot of "other women" tell themselves that the married man is sneaking off to spend an hour with her because she is prettier, sexier, or nicer than the wife, when the truth is that although he has filet mignon at home he gets a hankering for balogna once in awhile. Hank Williams Jr. said it best; men like to have women they never had. Blame the weak willed man, blame the skanky other woman, but don't blame the wife at home for not being Fantasy Girl 24/7. IMO there is a moral issue. All marriages go through rough periods, if a third party makes advances at that vulnerable time then the ripple effects of that affair could cause pain to lots of people, particularly the children.

I felt really sorry for the young fat wife. I think the combination of sudden weight gain, a problem pregnancy and a cheating husband has sent her self-esteem plummeting. I hope she joins Weight Watchers and kicks him to the curb. What does "She rushed me into marriage" mean? If he didn't want to marry her he should have told her so, not marry and then spend a lifetime punishing her for ruining his swinging bachelor life. (As if Huge Nose Guy ever had one.)

Usually, when males cheat it's because:

1) He settled down too soon before he had sowed his wild oats, developed himself enough, and aged sufficiently to settle down.

2) The in-love phase of the marriage is over and he misses the chemical high which will never be quite that same way again.

3) They just had a baby and he either feels neglected or he really is being neglected.

4) He had unrealistic expectations about what marriage and parenthood would entail.

4) The marriage is a bad one due to incompatibility, selfishness, or narcissism.

5) The wife really is a bitch.

6) He never really loved the wife to begin with.

7) He finally found THE ONE after being married to someone who is NOT THE ONE.

A lot of people make really bad marriages in their early years and only later on figure out the kind of person they could really be happy with. I personally feel that while all troubled marriages need to be worked on, all unworkable marriages should be terminated as soon as it has become clear that they are unworkable.

Right but the point at which they become unworkable is very subjective. My personal ''line in the sand'' relationship dealbreakers may or not be the same as the person I am with and are almost never identical to anyone else's even in the exact same circumstance.

Thankfully, I have been on the road far too much the last few months to see very much of KingLordGod Dr. Phil and his simple bastard solutions and platitudes but I did see this show and was quickly reminded of why I loathe him and his smarmy, snarky bullshit opinions so very much.

You do not cheat on someone you have made a commitment too period end of story,there should not be any gray areas. If your having a rough patch you try to fix it or you get out. After divorce papers are filed and finalized, then and only then should you embark on a relationship with someone else. And why would you want to begin a relationship with a married person. Their behavior is showing you they are not to be trusted and do not take their commitments seriously. I believe we are all imperfect, so anyone of us could make a mistake and that is why you have to be very careful of becoming to close emotionally or physically with someone other than your marriage mate.

In principle, I agree with you, and most people who are capable of thinking about and discussing these matters would likely never be in these shitty pathological marriages to begin with.

However, the one thing that does need to be addressed is the natural and biological waning of the passion even in very good marriages. Also if one understands evolutionary biology, one also knows why men and women are instinctually driven to stray whether or not they actually choose to do so.

When passion fades should we just steel ourselves for a lifetime of sexual boredom and mediocrity content that we are with a good mate, should we have occassional adventuires to keep the juices flowing, or should we find a new mate every time we get bored?

There are many cultures that feel that occassional affairs over the course of a long and loving marriage to keep people stimulated and content -- and not feeling they missed out on something important -- is far preferable to the serial monogamist model of trading up mates and breaking apart the family.

My own personal take is that the marriage needs to remain loving, supportive, respectful, and happy... by whatever means necessary.

I think as long as I felt that my mate was committed to me and our family first -- and that they were honest with me about everything -- that I could deal with some occassional dalliances over the course of a long ands happy marriage.

Now, if they started doing it at the onset, that would be different...

However, I'd expect to know about all of them and for us to keep a rigorous amount of attention on the quality of the marriage to make sure they were just boredom releasers and not because something more serious was wrong.

I think a lot of this discussion has to do with women's propensity to view love and sex as always being interconnected -- with infidelity meaning there's soemthing wrong -- and men's view that they can exist as separate entities.

However, I took some very good angles away from this show. Having been single now and not exactly spring chicken material, I'm getting IM'd by all sorts and manner of guys because I'm out on the personals. My church literally has no single guys and I travel during the week, so it's the only thing I really have.

Telling the 41 yo - the last woman - to wait for the single guys? I almost fell off my chair. He hasn't been in the real world of dating when you get in to your 40's. Most of the guys out there ARE cheats and will come after you even if you specifically say 'no cheats'. Most guys out there are only looking for one thing and I can't say what it is on a family show.

So I've turned the tables on them. I start asking questions about their marriages and counselling them to go back while they still can.

That show yesterday was an education to me insofar as one angle to the approach of breaking infidelity. Did some of it with one of the single guys I talk to who got himself involved with a married woman (yes, here the tables are turned). He's not happy because she won't leave her husband, but if she did, he wouldn't marry her. Talk about FU'd. But I told him some of the stuff from the show yesterday and it was sinking in.

What we have here is an episode that presented the other side of it. Yes, engaging in chronic affairs is usually the sympton of much deeper problems. Allowing it to continue (the other side of the relationship) is also a symptom of much deeper problems.

If you don't wanna be married, or committed, to another person, then quit taking the safe way out. Get the divorce and both of you can move on.

Just my two cents.

I guess this week's shows aren't proving much discussion fodder on this board. I did watch Monday's "Mind of the Adulterer," but haven't had time to see the rest yet (they wait patiently on my TiVo). However, we did get a glimpse of the incredibly!shocking! feature that will be on this fall: Dr. Phil will attempt to cure an ENTIRE TOWN of its ills. Apparently, it is Elgin, Tx., population 7,000. A kick-off rally will fill up a stadium with 5,000 Elgin-ites ready to hear the doctor's message.

"A flier circulated in town recently invited residents to come to Friday's event and ask questions about family, friends, neighbors and community," according to an article in the Austin American-Statesman newspaper. "The flier said McGraw hopes to 'turn Elgin into a shining example of teamwork and competition.' Producers offered no specifics on how he will make that happen."

The first Elgin show will be the season premiere on Monday the 13th. The Dr. Phil production team has signed a nine-month lease on a building in Elgin and will be doing follow-ups all season long. At least it should provide a little more variety than the increasingly-monotonous WLC shows from last season.

I was thisclose to getting tickets to the Elgin thing. I live fairly close to that town, so I wanted to go at least for snark value to relay back to you guys. Unfortunately by the time I honestly considered it, the tickets were all long gone. Oh well, the news will be covering it non-stop here, no doubt.

I hate to admit it, but I am so the female version of that flaky guy on today's show. Completely lazy when it comes to getting stuff done or going to social events. I'd much rather take a nap, but then again I don't have a spouse and children.

The whiner was just annoying. The only redeeming thing about her was that accent. Wish I had one.

Re: today's flake......I was surprised Dr. Phil didn't ask about his upbringing. Being irresponsible, failing to keep promises, not following thru- all very indicative of someone with an alcoholic parent. My husband grew up with a dad who was a drinker, so he and the sibs LEARNED that it was ok to flake (or lie). It took years for him to stop repeating the behavior.

So, I hardly think that guy is gonna do much to change. Because that takes effort.

So, instead of merely launching a new season of his show with a bit of pomp and ceremony, Phil has decided to behave as if he has the lead role in the Second Coming?

What's that now? Convening huge "love Me, I'm Phil" rallies which may or may not have altar calls? Going from door to door and discovering--by happenstance y'all--some victims of domestic violence. (If she but stretch forth her hand and touchest his Cardin tie she will be made whole).

Putting whole farming communities on diets...Enabling residents of poverty housing to rise up and embrace the Phil Light and prosper...Challenging all manner of alcoholics, drug abusers, juvenile delinquents, slackers, IRS cheats, con men, bad tippers, Oreo eaters and litter bugs to GET REAL as so sayeth The Phil,Holy Father of The Butt and Espoused One of The Kitty-Tox. Yea, it is for us but to listen to The Phil. Hear him! (the big asspony).

I couldn't stop laughing... not even as the paramedics carried me out with an Oxygen mask to keep me alive as I helplessly convulsed with laughter. Gemma, you rule.

You want me to tell you the kind of man that cheats? One who is weak. One who has no sense of pride or morallistic character about him. Same thing with a woman who cheats.

I'm sorry but when I stood up and said before God and my family in that church "foresaking all others till death do us part" I meant it. Yeah I've seen good looking, well established(money wise) men that I could have had affairs with or even left my husband for BUT I took a vow and I meant it.

My husband took the same vow and he meant it because he knows that if he doesn't foresake all others, death will do us part because I will kill him quicker than he can spit! There are three types of people in this world I cannot stand-abusers(both male and female)-anyone who does any harm to a child whether it is physical, mental, sexual, verbal doesn't matter-and people who cheat on their spouses.

There is no excuse for it other than weakness and thinking "I can get away with it". We all go through rough times but that doesn't mean drop your drawers baby for whatever comes along. It means you buck up and you face it and deal with it.