BIG TIME WORD! I thought that it was inappropriate for Dr Phil to do that. For starters, Chris is gonna have to take 3-5 days off on his new job, unpaid probably (Hey I thought he was a car salesman, now he's an admissions counselor?? What gives) And benelovant toaster is right on, how can anyone go off and relax in Jamaica or whatever when they have the Sword of Damoclese (sp?) hanging over their heads back in Utah.

What I want to know is if Miss Pouty Mouth has a degree in counseling and therefore has the potential to make 30-75$ an hour WHY THE HELL ISNT SHE THE BREADWINNER and he the stay at home parent? It makes no sense whatsoever especially for a family on the financial skids like that.

Oh by the way, I have a mini-rant about Brianne. Why is she treated like she has terminal cancer and has just finished the Tour de France? Dr Phil thinks the sun rises and sets on her. She's in a disfunctional family, which is like 75% of America. Big Deal.

If Stacy is going to Jamacia, Chris better get her there while she is still pregnant, our we will next year see Boden #2 (I know that was a horrible thing to say but I hate Stacy!!)

Stacy has told DP she couldn't work because it was against Mormon beliefs about the role of women in marriage.

Plus, she's a family and marriage counselor. Who the hell is gonna get advice from her?

Being a Mormon, I can honestly say I think Stacy is a complete idiot. Sure we believe the role of the women is raising and taking care of the children, but there are circumstances when the women need to work. My mom worked whenever we had financial difficulties which was most of my grade school days and she had six kids. Mormons also believe that you should only have as many kids as you can take care of. If you can't afford all six, don't have them! After one kid you should realize how expensive they are and plan on it!

I love how Stacy hides behind her religion when it benefits her, but where was her faith when she was whoring around?

ITA. Also, if she had time to have an affair, she has time to get a part time job.

I'm glad we've had some Mormon members of the TWoP community, like jlynn99, weighing in here from time to time about Stacey. She's giving her religion a bad name, implying -- directly or indirectly -- that it's responsible for her not working despite the family's financial troubles; that, in fact, the church is giving the family $$$; and that the fooling around, kid out of wedlock, etc. are not particularly serious infractions. Then there's the "covenant marriage" Stacey conveniently left, and now she wants to start another one with Chris. Lovely.

I imagine the reason DP gave the family a trip is because stuff like that does not have to be paid for by the show -- they can line up sponsors who will happily donate air fare, hotels, etc. in exchange for an on-air plug. I doubt DP could talk the phone company, VISA, mortgage company, etc. into "donating" anything to FUF2.

Oh, don't worry, jlynn99, I don't think Stacy is at all representative of Mormons. She's just using her beliefs as an excuse for her bad behavior.

I'm glad, SnowDog. I just worry that seeing her, people will think all Mormons are hypocritical whores. Good thing we've got Ken Jennings from Jeopardy fame helping us out.

Didn't Stacy say in a past episode that the Church has paid a majority of their bills. Ken (Jeopardy said that he'd be tiding his winnings. So in a roundabout way, Ken is paying Stacy's debts.

Maybe the gifts from sponsors are also nice in that they won't have to tithe over 10 percent to the church. I also think that the adult son who was living at home who got the free merchandise from Pottery Barn (while the other two schlubs got nothing) was Mormon (I inferred this because he had been "away for two years" in Peru -- probably his missionary assignment?).

No matter what her religion, Stacy is a head case! Unfortunately, I sense that her daughter will be following in her nutty-ass, "I'm entitled" footsteps.

WORD! I know people from many different faiths who pick and choose what they want to believe when it's convenient for them. Most of them are not as skanky and loathesome as Stacy, though. I had to stop watching the FUF2. After screaming insults at the TV for an hour, I had to calm down and realize that someone like Stacey is not worth getting worked up about. Not just because I don't (and never will) know her, but because she probably won't change. I know too many people who do things to fuck up their lives, and then pretend like they want help. No matter how much you try to help them, they like the the drama and bullshit in their lives too much to ever change. Stacy seems like one of those kind of people.

I do hope that they follow up with FUF2, when does the new season start, anyway?

I hope it's soon, lispunk. I'm rarin' to go for new snark.

I don't know if DP will do an update on FUF2. There didn't seem to be any improvement since DP starting "helping" them. I have a feeling DP might just let the FUFs go by the wayside and return to helping people with minor, silly problems. At least, that's what I hope he does.

I seem to remember that they were asking for families to apply for Families in Crisis on the DP web site. I also seem to remember that those FUF episodes had very high ratings. I would bet real money that the do more this year. I also predict that the police are involved this season.

Why doesn't Dr. Phil seem to recognize that Catherine is a spoiled brat? I have to agree with Marty -- the girl is an instigator of major proportions! Looks to me like she ratted out Alex to her mom about the "bobbing around in the water with a guy" incident. She also continuously butts into Erin's "conversations" (aka screaming matches) with Alex, back talks her dad, and acts like she's the Queen of the Nile in general. I think Marty has the patience of a saint not to just flat out smack the smirk right off that brat's face.

The more I think about it the surer I am that there will be police involvment with this season of FUF. Either one of the FUF will call about another member of the FUF or DP will call "for the children". What I would like to see happen is 1.The police arrive. 2. See the cameras in the house and demand the tapes. 3. DP try to claim doctor-paitent privilage. 4.Have it openly reported that the show is for entertainment only and not for therapy instead of just a quick disclaimer at the end of each show.

Remember when we were all wondering why the sweet hell DP was seeking out Meredith Brooks' biggest/only fan? At 2 am, after Pyramid (and that sets the perfect context), this long ad comes on with an older-looking woman singing some whiny song, and then it's intercut with all these DP clips. I google the lyrics...yup, Meredith Brooks. Is she our new hanger-on?

I have a similar feeling. I also bet that drugs are going to somehow come into play. Something like Oxycontin (prescription drug) or Marijuana.

Oooohhhh, that would be perfect! We could combine all the charm of the FUFs with the intensity of the teenager intervention show! PLUS, if someone in the family could have an intense weight problem.... oh, the possibilities are endless!
DrP, say "hello" to my little friend, the daytime emmy. uuuggghhhhh

And what the heck is the whole Meredith Brooks thing? I remember our speculations but I still don't get what it all has to do with anything. Are we looking for the world's biggest self-proclaimed "Bitch"?? I thought we pretty much stumbled upon that goldmine with the FUFs last season. Whatever.

As horrible as FUF moms are, I think the Queen Bitch award goes to the mother-in-law from the I'm-so-chicken-I-gotta-pose-as-a-neighbor-on-the-DP-message-board family.

Fun things gleaned from the DP webpage - it looks like Skanky and co. will be back for season 3, along with the new baby. Look, it's Phil's newest Nathan.

Friday they said the new season starts in two weeks.

I really believe that the producers of the DP show are looking for people who are not quite screwed up enough for Jerry Springer but to screwed up for Maury Povich. Most of the people on last year didn't want help. They wanted to be on TV or they wanted to tell how they were a victim. As a man, most of the husbands were an embarassment. They either put up with cr#p that no husband should have to put up with or they did cr#p that no wife should put up with. Cr#p = cheating, insults, allowing others to insult their spouse, yelling at, placing a child at risk, violence or drug addiction. If I did any of those things I would expect my wife to kick me out and I would deserved it. The reverse would also be true. I should clarify by drug addiction I also mean the other stuff that usually goes with it like lieing and place the spouse at risk of arrest or humiliation. Sorry. I'll get off my soapbox now.

I hate people that mess up miserably, like Stacy, and then act like they all of a sudden want help to repair the mess they got themselves into. She reminds me of many a customer I deal with during my summer job in collections. Some of them leave their bills go for six, seven, eight months, and rack up their balances to over $1,000, sometimes $2,000, $3,000, and sadly, $5,000. Now, sometimes, you can tell they are trying to fix this because they tell me that they really want to catch up on their bill or that things are hard because they can't seem to find work(as opposed to people who complain that they're unemployed, but do nothing about it) or they are a single parent, etc.

But other times, when they want help, they call our department to go on payment agreements, call our outreach program where they can give them lower agreements, we have agencies to help them with grants, etc. etc. etc. However, we go out of their way to help them and after that, they abuse our payment agreements, abuse outreach, and don't pay anymore once they recieve our grants. They throw away termination notices, ignore phone calls, and then threaten to sue when we want to shut their gas off.

Topic? Stacy reminds me of the customers in the second group. She'll go to someone like Dr. Phil and say she wants help saving her marriage and being a better mother, then she is absolutely selfish to everyone that is going out of her way to help her. She has never showed any ounce of thankfulness when he told her what they were going to provide for her. She continues to refuse his suggestions saying they are useless and then cries and moans and whines when she says she is unhappy and wants to have pride. Well, she has done nothing to show this. She does not deserve any of the help that has been given to her, whether from the show, from her church, or whoever else wants to help this ungrateful, hated whore.

But she doesn't learn. Keep getting yourself pregnant, cheating, and being a lazy bitch, Stacy. It'll come back to bite you on your ass. Show some pride. Apologize to everyone who you've treated like shit. Have confidence in yourself. Be grateful that you are given what you are. A lot of people have problems that are worse or on the same level as yours, and they are not handed the help you are a lot of times.

Allright, well, since I am an unmarried, 19 year old virgin with no children who has never had a boyfriend, I guess I need to get off my soapbox. Thank you.

Dr. Phil is going to have his own two-hour prime time network TV special on Wednesday, Sept. 22. "Amy Brenneman, Nicole Kidman, Robert Redford and Will Smith share their own child-raising experiences and best parenting advice," says the CBS press release. "With his signature tell-it-like-it-is style, Dr. Phil takes viewers behind closed doors and into the heart of the family for an up-close-and-personal look at parenting -- the challenges, the problems and the solutions. Using hidden cameras to capture the biggest mistakes parents make, Dr. Phil visits an out-of-control family that desperately needs his help: the parents scream at each other, their teenage daughter is drinking and having sex without their knowledge and the father has not spoken to his 13-year-old son in more than a year. The results of his visit will be revealed during the broadcast.

"Dr. Phil will also answer parents' most-frequently asked questions and help celebrity mothers, Holly Robinson Peete and Vanessa Marcil, to potty train their toddlers in one day's time. He will also show parents how they can raise their child's IQ with just a few easy steps, how to reveal techniques to discipline children that will work each and every time and will help parents understand what kind of a child they are raising, be it a brat or a wallflower. And, in a disquieting segment, Dr. Phil talks with the parents of a boy who possesses 10 of the 14 traits of a serial killer and offers the help they need before it's too late."

Now if only DP would get hidden-camera footage of *celebrities* interacting with their kids... that, I'd watch! Also, even though the release doesn't mention her, I'll betcha Kitty will pop up -- I can't imagine her passing up the chance for a prime time moment of glory.

If Nicole Kidman, Will Smith and Robert Redford actually raise their own children, then I'll eat my shorts.

I could be wrong, but I seem to recall that in the first episode of Dr. Phil, he said that he was not going to be about celebrity driven shows. His show was going to be about real people and dealing with their real problems. Does anyone else remember this or am I crazy? I'm not knocking celebrities (who couldn't use some help with potty training), but he seems to be slowly moving away from his original premise.

Well, there's only so many times you can yell "that dog won't hunt" at some hapless studio guest before you have to search for something else. The two FUFs made ssooooooo much progress, and only 10 of the 13 WLC participants were deemed worthy enough for the final woo-hoo-prizes show. He's pimped out his wife and son....so maybe he's reaching?

I dunno, but he seems to have shed even the slightest pretense of not being the famewhoriest of famewhores to ever whore some fame.

Being exploited on television by his parents and Shill will be the catalyst for the remaining 4 characteristics. Sad.

What are these 14 characteristics? I'm guessing harming animals and small children is one. If this kid is so close to going all Jeffrey Dahmer on the world, then why the hell are his parents taking him to Dr. Phil, the man who, to the best of our knowledge, has not helped anyone with a serious problem?

I don't think troubled kids are anything to screw around with, especially on television. Dealing with a pregnant teen is one thing, but this kid sounds like he has some real problems - problems that Dr. Phil should not be exploiting for ratings. Dr. Phil needs to stick with lighter topics like "My kid won't stop peeing on the dog." Violent children need real professional help, not cutesy little sayings like, "You need to get real about this." Dr. Phil, you need to get real about what topics are appropriate for national television.

Phil is coming back with ALL NEW SHOWS so you guys better straighten up and fly right. I'm offering a shiny fifty cent piece to the first TwoPer who spots the summer surgical changes to Robotox, as well as any indication that Phil has decided to trim the girth of his portly belly. People get ready.

I don't know what it says about me that Gemmadoll's post just thrilled me with anticipatory glee - but I don't think it's a good thing.

percolata, I know what you mean -- I can't resist visiting the list of upcoming show topics and counting the days 'til DP returns with new shows. It's such a relief to me that others in this support group, er, board share my sick longing. Here's my current fave. Feel free to insert your own Kitty Surprise joke.

Bwah, loudfan! Wonder why Phil doesn't just address these topics to the Mrs instead of dragging the rest of us into it. Boy is obsessed with the idea that women should be slim, trim and perpetually youthful. Man with no hair trying to make me feel bad about stuffing my sausage thighs into spandex. Sheesh.

Oh jeeze, doesn't that list tell a story. I saw lots of shows intended to scare people away from bypass surgery. ( What? Skip the seven keys and the recipes for all the high response, low calorie, chop celery till you starve to death, meals?) Shill just hates the thought of anybody, anywhere losing weight without giving him some money in the process.

Wonder why he has so many shows about the same subject? Postpartum depression, your kids and postpartum depression, your best friend's postpartum depression, your cat's postpartum depression.

Hey Phillipbusters!
Been missin' y'all!
I saw a promo today for monday's new show & got all giddy at the prospect of this board getting its snark on again -- whee!

And he's startin' the season with a teenaged hooch. I 'spect we're about to embark on the classiest season yet.

Phil can remember it like yesterday. BigButtJay was only a few weeks old and still colicky as all get out. Robotox had fired one nanny after another because they were too fat and ruined the look of the nursery altogether. But, having gained only nine ounces with this pregnancy and having dragged her elliptical machine into the recovery room to catch any excess softness, Robo felt strangely worn out. Damn. Life was perfect before. Now she was exhausted, and all her strobe-light headed husband could do was burp up Texas platitudes about the virtue of motherhood and snore loudly. Fury arched within Robo as she extended her four inch retractable claws and wrapped them around a six pound Denise Austin free weight. "Ooooh, Phillllllllipppppp..." she crooned sweetly,"I've got a suuuuurrrrrrrrrpppppppprrrrriiiiiiiisssssse for you..."

Well, it would explain a lot, wouldn't it?

I think we have a new Dr Phil "drinking" game! Guess which topics apply to his family and underscore why he's doing them. I'll set to work on this teenage hooch thing first. Hmmm. Phil's first girlfriend charged five bucks and gave him the clap? Nah. Too obvious.

You so funny, Gemmadoll! Teenaged hooch indeed! I thought Jenny Jones cornered the teenaged hooch market already.

Anyone see the rack-rat shopoholic Mom with Granny out there with a paper route to help pay for it all? There's a word for it --MEDICATION. This is ocd in its most blatent form. Absolutely appalling. And metal detector guy--cute but also ocd. Transvestite guy was interesting. Imagine going on national tv about this topic, and not being all freaky.

Is that BigButtJay that I spotted in the commercial for the new home makeover show?

Yep. He backs that thing up and saves the wrecking crew some work.

DrCher, Jay will be hosting a new FOX reality show called "Family Time." Here is an article about the program. "From fine-tuning each family member's personal appearance, to architectural face-lifts of the home, to 'pimped-out' cars and even something special for the pets, nothing is left undone on this life-altering makeover series." Oh, how will Jay ever have time for law school?!

The show is from the producers of "Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy," "My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé" and "Joe Millionaire," so you know it's quality all the way.

One of the families who will be on BBJ's new show was the first family from Trading Spouses. After dealing with the carb-obsessed clueless woman they were given as a new mom, they need a family makeover. Though I don't know if BBJ will be an improvement.

Where did BigButtJay come from? Do I really want to know?

I think the new season of Shill is gonna be good. Especially Monday's episode. Can't wait.

On drphil.com, it states:



I'm confused -- new shows start airing on Monday, but the new season starts on the 13th? What's the difference? Aren't "all-new shows" enough to designate a new season?

Oh well. As long as there are lots of FUFs, Robin showing off her latest pair of leopard skin pumps, and teenaged hooches, I'm so there. I even sort of miss watching J.J. as I sit back and snack on Toblerone bars. I wonder if the "bad" weight loss challenge participants will come back, or if they're just fatter than ever and permanently banned from the hallowed gates of Paramount Studios? And why isn't Jim a supahstah yet? Maybe after his episode of "According to Jim" airs, he will finally start competing for roles with Jim Carrey and Tom Hanks.

From his Mommy's tummy. See, Dr. Phil loved Robin so much he wanted to give her a special hug that grown-ups do after they have a couple drinks...

Actually, someone on this board noticed that young Jay had more junk in his trunk than might be reasonable for a boy of his dimension. Some say he stuffs. I think it is just a lot of Texas chow, unfortunate but very real. Perhaps, like his mom, he will lipo. This might be a good thing for BBJay. His younger, more pallid brother was christened "Jorthro"--a coupling of Jordan and Jethro.We will give him a more insulting nickname once he passes the age of majority. He is a McGraw, he has it coming. Why pick on the kids simply because they are Phil's hapless spawn? Well, why not,see?

I'm cutting Jordan a break unless he starts showing famewhore tendencies. So far he's stayed out of the way more than any other member of his family. It's all relative, no?

Gemmadoll, do you know what it feels like to snarf egg drop soup?

Wait 'til he realizes that Dad won't buy him a Beverly Hills mansion until he (cough) "writes" at least one best-selling book. Now that Jay is busy with his super-classy FOX show, Phil will need someone new to be the show's voice of the teenager and to stage those all-important interventions with FUF daughters.

I thought Dr Phil was just fine until he came out with weight loss bars, shakes and vitamins. That totally destroyed his credibility with me. Now I look suspiciously upon everything he does.

Be careful of the vitamins if you're a man; your hair will fall out and your ass will expand.

Ah yes... NEW EPISODES at last!

My knife collection has been getting really dull this summer with all of these re-runs of PP (Patriarch Phil) and his vile sexist Phil-osophies.

Best of all, they'll be tackling ALL of our favorite subjects and Robin will also be guest starring on a couple of shows.

I'll see y'all back here at the TWOP Firing Range next week where we may gleefully resume our target practice.