Ditto! My laptop on dialup was great when I got stuck in the hospital with ungodly high blood pressure after Little Hex showed up. Spent my time researching white papers on pregnancy induced hypertension and the drugs (damn few!) that are available.

Agree also on the lawyer with her "fight them on the beaches"; what is that sound? Churchill spinning in his grave. Besides, aren't most divorces, even the vitriolic ones, pretty mundane when it comes to the "stuff"?
Schedule A: hers
Schedule B: his
Schedule C: what we'll sell and split the proceeds on
Schedule D: the stuff we just can't agree on.
Often, when Schedule D is too long, the judge will either send all parties back to negotiate or alternate schoolyard picks. If I were a judge and heard "Tupperware" I'd toss these whiny yahoos out on their ears.

Amy: I'm not inclined to side with her yet. She didn't own up to saying he could shove the air hockey table. (I would have said, hell yes, I said it!) And I'm always a little suspicious of women who have to amass high dollar jewelry; but that's just me.


ETA: Today? Erin is the voice of reason? Robin gave helpful advice? Admittedly, I'm sick today, but have my senses failed???

Same with me. Even some of my relatives spell it wrong.



I agree with this, but I believe that eventually (because so many people give their kids weird names) kids with names that we consider normal, like Bob, Carol, Ted, and Alice are going to be bully targets.

Oh, and I can't stand Dr. Phil.

I hate Erin.

Not much more to it than that.

She can take her bad-Mexican-soap-opera-actress skanky ass and go to hell for all I care. I hope she realizes some day what a huge trashbag she has been throughout all of this.

Exactly! I thought the same thing.
No doubt she picked that up from her mom. She was behaving JUST like her... talking down to Marty and treating him like a child.
DrP was right on when he spoke of the parent/child relationship between E and M.
I can't believe I was actually hearing Alex say something constructive when telling little sis she needs to respect her parent.
Of course, that was pretty much squelched with tomorrow's coming attractions of she and her mom belting it out.

Then when they are all together "via satellite", Marty goes into that closed up position where he leans back, clams up and stares right thru the perpetrator.
Would have hated to see a spontaneous kick in the teeth to that smart-ass, spoiled Katherine sitting on the floor!
That guy can't win and I was surprised he didn't just throw his hands in the air like he just don't care anymore. No wonder he clams up and wants to get the hell away from those three vultures.

.... And if I have to see that stinkin' footage of Marty confessing (?) then Erin breaking down and Alex with that stupid pout on her face, followed by Drama Queen Katherine ballin' her freakin' eyes out AGAIN, I'm gonna lose it!!

It will be interesting to see where this FUF is in just two years.... or later when Erin and Marty have run screaming from each other, Alex hopefully will not be shacking up with some drop-out cuz she got knocked up again, and DQ Katherine will have some washrag of a boyfriend who she bosses the crap out of .... but he loves her.
uuuggghhhhh....

HEE!! I find that shot so hilarious and it makes me think someone on the DP staff does too. They showed it no less than 3 times. My sister and I do great impressions of Alex and Katherine.

I did notice that in all of the footage that Erin changed, carried and seemed to be the one taking care of Nathan, not Alex. Maybe it was a coincidence, but I doubt that. Brat.

I still say this family is hopeless. Marty creeps me the fuck out.

Get your dialing fingers ready, folks.

According to CNN.com, the good doctor is on Larry King tonight 9 pm eastern.

Larry King Live
CNN 40 May 13 09:00pm Add to My Calendar
Series/Talk, 60 Mins.
Dr. Phil McGraw discusses his new book, ``The Ultimate Weight Solution Cookbook.''


Original Airdate: May 13, 2004.


Get those snark buttons ready. Could be a long night.

A cookbook? WTF?

I am really starting to root for Erin. I liked how the girls both reached out to comfort her when she was crying. I get the feeling she really loves her kids, and Marty...loves them in the sense of being their father and being obligated to love them. But I think she has not been strict enough with Alexandra. Alexandra has a baby. She needs to be acting more like an adult. I know she's only 16, but she decided to keep the baby and she needs to act like an adult a bit more.

Why is he publishing a cookbook when according to him weight problems are "not about the food"? Damn. He has no shame.

Have just realized the only one in this family that doesn't disgust me is Alex. She's not bright, but she's a teenage girl who likes a lot of sex, and... I just can't help cheering her on.

I keep seeing the WLC previews on Shill's show and he says to someone something to the effect that they could (should?) have lost 144 lbs. by now. I've been on many, many, many diets in my life and any of them that weren't crash or fad diets (and sometimes even those as well) have always said an average of 1-2 lbs. per week was what you could expect to lose safely. I've always heard that figure no matter how much or how little weight I had to lose - an average of 1-2 lbs. per week. If the WLC started in September and it's now mid-May, that is only approximately 36-38 weeks, so shouldn't they be losing a max of around 72-76 lbs. if they are, in fact, doing it the right way instead of in the lose weight quick, fad diet kinda way.

To quote Chandler Bing - Shill, could you be any more of a sell-out?!

If Erin doesn't stop parroting the "soft place to land" phrase, I don't know what. All of you, just shut up.

Don't forget "plugging in."

Though he IS fun to mock sometimes, I have to give him credit for being good this past week and a bit. I loved watching him scream at those relationship people, and he offered some good advice to FUF2. And I do think that some of his homilies, tiresome as they can get, are right. I agree with his child-rearing philosphy and this that his life strategies are useful and true and really explain a lot about my father :-) When my mom just theother day got all righteous indignation on me about how he had not invited me to my brother's birthday dinner and what kind of parent invites selectively like this, i realized that HIS parents totally did that. There were, in his family tons of factions and in-fighting and occasions where some of the siblings would be invited somewhere and others were not. My poor dumb dad is just parroting what he knows---and if, as Dr. Phil so often repwats, he knew better, he might DO better.

Sars---do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? Sorry. Couldn't resist :-)

What the hell? Erin takes the girls and the baby and runs screaming away from that pissface, Marty, and Robin-Birdbrain phones her and tells her to meet Marty at the curb, hug him and tell him that she loves him? WHAT? Was this the only way that the Shill could get them back together again? He used Robin? And yes, he "said" he didn't know about it. My ass.

I laughed when Marty said "Fuck Dr. Phil and all of you, too". Balls, finally! And then he slithers his way back home.

That major pissy-queen, Katherine, would have gotten a clock in the head or a sock stuffed in her mouth had she been my child and talked to her father like that...no matter HOW I felt about him.

This whole thing is SO wrong. Those kids should NOT BE THERE when most of this major stuff is going down. American's sweetheart. Yah, right. If you're Charley Manson.

I tried to post these thoughts on the Dr Shill official board albeit in a slightly gentler manner. No dice. Criticism is not allowed there. BTW, did those people all go to the 'spelling from hell' school?

I agree that Phil has been doing a better job this week than in previous weeks. However, I wonder if his sudden compassion for Marty was based on maybe feeling a tad guilty over what went down on the last show. And I can say 'what went down' because this show is cheesy. So I can use cheesy phrases. :)

And Erin has just bought into the Phil-osophy a bit too much for my tastes. As Sars noted, she just parrots back what he says ... That's just ew to me.

Edited to add -- I had Tivo'ed the Divorcing Divas episode and just watched it and holy crap! I can be petty, but they make me look like Ms. Looking at the Big Picture. Holy Moly! Are those two three years old??? They've both got serious character flaws, if you ask me. Hiding bracelets, fighting in front of the kids, trying to tell Phil you didn't say things they have video of you saying ... whatever, people. Yeah, this is all real mature and what really matters. Good luck on the next thousand lives you're going to spend learning to grow up.

talullah: Seriously. And then she Stepfords, "Okay, we'll try it." Why? You don't even LIKE Marty! Let. It. GO.



Snerf. Just once, I'd like one of them to tell him, "If I'm the first, that'll make me the second, foo'."

I'm not ordinarily this anti-DP, but whoever said upthread that his primary motivation with the FUFs seems to be to make himself look good is right on. Not that there's anything wrong with that (he is running a TV show, after all), but neither of these couples is going to get it together, and yesterday's show was just an embarrassing display of denial from Phil. Stacy in particular should have been treated to a tube-tying farewell gift certificate and sent packing months ago.

Also, Robin? Go away.

Yeah, that was the best part.

I rolled my eyes at all the parroting they were doing - and if this "therapy" is just for entertainment and giving a wake-up call, what the hell is Robin doing calling Erin, supposedly behind Big Phil's back and telling her to welcome her husbnd with a hug for? She's no fucking therapist. This whole family is sucked into Phildom, they need to break away for their own good and see a real family therapist. Unfortunately, it looks like they're joyfully addicted to slinging their dirt in public. I can't imagine how they live normal lives knowing the whole country, never mind their whole community, knows all their business.

I just inherited my mother's "divorce insurance" She always kept enough jewelry so she could put first and last on a place, retain a lawyer, and pay off the mutual debt. It's kind of empowering, actually. That's why I was so surprised about the jewelry being considered marital property and not personal property. I mean, does he get half her bras too? (Just the left cups)?

So I guess the boyfriend we saw just a few weeks ago didn't work out since she is making out with some guy in the water...

Chiming in a bit late here, but on Monday's episode w/ the Parenting 101, when the parents were talking about "Kaiser this" and "Kaiser that" (although I found out later it's spelled Kyscar-yikes), I kept wondering, "...As in Sose?"

Those parents need to be shot for naming their kid that and for the dad telling him "Nice shot" when he pissed on the tv. Nimrods.

Just found this out too-when the segment was on about the mother who spent $3000 on Christmas, my MIL called my hubby and told him to watch Dr. Phil b/c he might learn something. Bitch. We didn't spend $3000 on Christmas, but we did make sure our 1 year old had a nice day. So sue me for buying her a red wagon, a pink chair and some toys. Me thinks my MIL and I will appear on the latest episode of Dr. Phil soon, "Why your MIL pisses you off and makes you all the way crazy."

Can't wait to watch the Marty and Erin crap-more of the same, huh? He's a jackass, she's the victim and the kids are seriously fucked up. Big surprise.

Edited in the interest of family harmony.

Toasty you've cracked me up two days in a row. ITA everybody should just buy Alex a big batch of birth control pills and let her loose. She's had it, she likes it, she can get it any time she wants it and she is not giving it up. No amount of "plugging in" from Marty or screaming sessions from Erin or SCUBA vacations from Dr. Phil are going to change that. Do a dreamy beach boy for old Percolata, Alex!

Tallulahbabe



So many of my posts have been deleted there that now a little flag comes up saying my message will be posted only after a moderator has reviewed it. I must be on some sort of list of dissenting heretics. And my spelling fits right in!

BWAH! This, I would love to see. I wonder if they have little comments on it too?

Today's show---the one thing that really bugged me was that Marty satys home for SEVERAL WHOLE DAYS with Nathan ALL BY HIMSELF and gets applause? You can bet that if it had been Erin staying home with the baby it would have just been part of life and a family sharing responsibilities. But Marty (the man!) stays home with a baby and it is somehow applause-worthy. That's just like how my stepbrother works late every night and his wife is just doing her thing at home with the baby, but the rare time she needs to do something, he "babysits." Oh gracious one. Thank you so much for doing that for us all.

Long time lurker of this forum but I just had to add my 2 cents about today's show.

First off, since when does getting knocked up at 15 garner the right to go on an all expenses paid vacation to the Cayman Islands? What Alex needed was some parenting classes and a chance to be alone with Nathan to learn how to deal with him by herself instead of having her mom do the raising. Are they trying to make me believe Alex really has it in her to become a marine biologist? Spare me, please, girl isn't the brightest bulb.
I kind of agreed with what Erin was saying to Alex, even if she didn't go about it the right way. Personally, I don't like calling girls sluts because it is an unfair double standard, but Alex is showing some lack of self-esteem when she hooks up with guys she doesn't know/doesn't care about. It was annoying when Erin and Alex started using Phil's psychobabble in their argurement. Can't they come up with something original? Maybe I'm just evil, but when Alex was bitching about her mom not telling her she was beautiful, I said to myself ,"Maybe she doesn't want to lie?"
All in all, I feel the sorriest for poor, cute lil' Nathan. He's got to live with all these idiots.

Today's show pissed me off. I can't even afford fucking community college, I'm a well behaved person, do what I'm supposed to and I get shit. This little whore has her legs set on perma-spread and goes to the damn Cayman Islands to swim in the crystal clear ocean!? Fuck you Dr. Phil! I'm not bitter at all...

Alex is a slut, maybe her mom shouldn't have said it, but what else is she supposed to do? Alex responds to nothing else. Katherine's just annoying, she really is just like Erin. Heh, Marty let Nathan crap all over the bed. Nathan is a cutie! It was funny when DP said under his breath kinda "In a bomber jacket....". Hehe.

Erin probably reconciled with Marty just so he'd watch Nathan while the girls had a good time at the Hyatt Regency Grand Cayman.

If Dr. Phil really wanted to encourage Alex to explore Marine Biology, he could have bought her some books or videos, or even arranged for her to meet a Marine Biologist (what do they do, anyway? I don't think they do a lot of scuba diving.)

This trip was just an excuse to get slutty Alex in a bikini, on a beach, with boys, so that the inevitable would happen, and more drama would ensue.

Absolutely, ITA. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised in the least if a Dr. Phil producer told Alex to "swim around with that boy over there". I have no proof of that, of course, but c'mon, they were filming her with him in the water! I can't quite put my finger on it but while watching FUF1, I just don't believe them. I don't believe their problems are real, I don't believe they fight the way they show, I don't believe DP is helping them in any way and I don't believe they want to be helped. I'm starting to think the family really is in it just for attention and free crap. I bet Alex and Erin high-fived each other after their "fight" when the cameras were off, with a producer saying, "great job, guys".

I'm a bad, bad monkey. When BirdsNBees Mom said her daughter saw a porno in the van next to their car, I laughed my ass off.

Kyser's (however the hell those people spell it) parents are clueless dumbasses. "Oh, it's so cute and funny when he pees everywhere but we don't want him to do it anymore!" A freaking basic psychology course would teach them enough about positive reinforcement and behavior modification to train their kid not to pee everywhere. Sheesh, I know more about parenting than these people and I don't have offspring.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Oooh! I want to be on this show, too! But we'll name it "How to make your son feel guilty for marrying a big black girl and cursing your grandchildren with 'coarse hair' and ruining your family of blond-blue-eyed people. And then bad mouth said big black girl to the rest of the family while being all sweet and motherly to her face."

Oh yeah- I am the big black girl. Sorry for that little rant.

Topic? Slap a rusty chastity belt on Alex's skanky ass and throw away the key until after she finishes school and gets her shit together.

I can't even begin to express my disgust for PP and FUF1.

Yeah, Alex is young, but I hate to break it you you PP, girls really do like boys and and teens really do like sex.

I really don't know where this crazy nonsense/movement to outlaw sex until the 20's got started. When I was in High School people had sex, people (occasionally) got pregnant, and if they did they had an abortion, and we all went on with our lives. No one lost their mind or their life's ambition or flunked out because they had a nice stiff one in them on Saturday night!

I also am sick of this conservative fantasy that all girls need is something interesting to study and that they can then hit the snooze button on their vaginas and have it magically work until they are 30. I'm afraid that Alex needs equal doses of mental, emotional, and vaginal stimulation to be happy based on who she is. Give it up Erin. She gave birth to a child and they want to send her back to Sunday School? Wake up and smell the Latte!

At this point they need to "get real" and focus on her getting on the pill, being fully versed in how to use a spermicide and a male and female condom, and let her live her life. I think what Erin is really upset about is what an easy time Alex has with guys and how she'll soon be gone. Chasing her into the water? Crazy. Erin getting busted for being a bitch? Priceless.

As for the rest, Katherine is whiny, entitled, manipulative, and retarded. I love it how she gets all tear-eyed and vulnerable when she want to crucify them but then is a total bitch the rest of the time. Marty can be an ass but Katherine is a clueless, manipulating, and judgemental bitch.

And I loved it how once again PP is recommending female submission as the answer to problems in the home. I'm so sick of Robin Da Feminists and her lack of intelligence and bird-brained voice. Worst of all, Robin obviously also believes that all happiness can be found via rigorous adherence to traditional gender roles, following a "man" around with her hand on his shoulder, and relentless consumerism . I suppose in her affluent case it does but for those of us who actually work at home and out in the world we prefer an equal partner.

It was nice to see Erin finally get busted for being a bitch, she usually gets away with it. However, I'm still angry that Marty got ambushed and that PP got away with it. I'm amazed that nobody sues his ass. You can see in Marty's eyes that he has lost all faith in PP and is just counting down to the end. Sigh, if the women really want to cure him then they better have him watch Lifetime TV for a month-straight and be in daily psychoanalysis.

It doesn't feel like they're going to make it.



Brilliant... just BRILLIANT!

ROTF-LMAO!

(Star, running to give Porkfat a biiiiiiig hug.)


I missed the FUF1 shows! I have to comment on the Divorce Divas: if John was my husband, I'd be a widow for sure.

Fighting over her jewelry and tupperware??!?!?!? WTF is wrong with these people? Tupperware, folks!

And those lawyers? I hope they are getting their money's worth from those 2 psychopaths......

Not too long ago, I saw a brilliant documentary on PBS that illustrated that we are all descended from an African tribe. ALL of us! Perhaps you should go to the library, rent the video and have your m-i-l take a look at it.

Just catching up on several episodes. Man it hurts to watch this dreck back to back.

So over the FUF. I say that like I ever was invested in these people. DP sure did seem to be backpedaling on the Marty "shocker". I must be missing some essential compassionate component, but all I can think about the big revelation is "how the hell does 'I ran into someone' inspire all that carrying-on and teeth-gnashing????" Even if it is someone he has a history with.

Island-girl. I thought Alex looked prettier with her hair curly during her on-island interviews. And how cute is that baby that he actually made me think Asshat Marty was cute with him? Loved the way Erin was yelling that Alex was going to have another kid before she's 18. 'Cause at 18 will be okay, you know. She'll be totally self-sufficient, I'm sure.

Divorcing Couple (aka -- Stacy & Chris: The (not too much) Later Years). Can't stand his attorney but am really liking hers. Love the preview: "Maybe she'll fire me." Not that I want to defend the wife's pettiness, but I totally believe her comment about the air hockey table was edited. We see her commenting on the air hockey table, then hear a voice over that says he can shove it. I don't doubt she did throw in all that other "what a stupid thing to argue about, it's for the kids, etc." before saying he could shove it. Not that it negates her essential position of "mineminemine".

And I was completely shocked to find out that Robin was in the audience that day (after I got over being shocked thinking she wasn't) because when DP made the comment about her being wild at home there was NO "cut to Robin" shot. Since they've never before missed an opportunity to show a RobinReaction, I just assumed she wasn't there. But, then, during the walkout we got a squeaky "what the heck was that?!" so all is right in the world after all.

Nathan.... bless his heart.... he pretty much spoke for all of us today when he did his business on the bed! That is one cute little guy (keep him in your prayers!).

Erin was WAY out of line calling her daughter a slut. I can't even fathom the way that family talks to each other. And they wonder why Katherine has such a smart-mouth on her? She is definitely her mother's daughter!
I like the way DrP had to explain that the name calling and yelling instantly kills any kind of communication. And can this freakin' family carry on a conversation without freakin' yelling at each other??
WHAT keeps anyone from reaching over and popping Drama Queen Katherine in the mouth is beyond me. She was not funny and she was not cute the way she was talking to her dad at the end of the show. I also like the way DrP had to explain to DQK that she DOES NOT know it all and needs to chill out.

And so now we're all supposed to be anxious for the finale?! They've pretty much spent all season on that show crying wolf with their "coming attraction" trailers that don't even come close to panning out.
Personally, I'M ready to divorce this group of famewhores that play out the dysfunctional role and get treated like celebs. That trip to the Caymans was ridiculous and definitely part of the "script". No seriously.... it's so interesting to see a FUF get treated like royalty while not working on their relationship.
uuuggghhhh.....

Btw... tell FUF2 to take a hike. I couldn't give a rat's ass, to be honest.

Some people did 'flunk out' because they had a nice stiff one in them on a Saturday night. They got pregnant. It is best to wait to have sex until you're older and out of high school. Because A LOT of girls got pregnant when I was in high school, and guess who had to support the baby? The parents did. I know I'd be pissed if my daughter got pregnant at 15 (don't have kids yet only 20 yrs old) and then I'd have to help her ass out with a baby I didn't give birth to and hearing screaming in the middle of the night when all that could have been prevented by not having sex. Just about every girl I know that started having sex in high school is either pregnant or has a kid now. I'm sick of hearing about birth control that shit don't work. And when they say its not 100% that is the damn truth. Because high schools are heavily populated with teenage mothers.

Your points are well taken.

However, if you're on the pill, using spermicide, and a condom, the odds of conceiving are pretty low. And if some miraculous pregnancy should occur then be responsible and either have an abortion or give your baby up for open or closed adoption. I'm sick of women (who have access to birth control/abortion/adoption) saddling themselves, men, and society with children that none want/agreed to/or are prepared to care for. Agreeing to have sex doesn't mean agreeing to be a parent and people need to lose this particular line of Catholic reasoning. That judge who ordered that couple not have any more children until they got their shit together was on the money.

If you've done everything possible to prevent a pregnancy and it still happens then you've either got to be prepared to terminate it or carry it to term and then give the baby up if you're not capable of raising it. If you're mature enough to have sex, you're mature enough to know all of your pre-conception and post-conception options and you need to be prepared to exercise both. That is the adult thing to do. Anyway, a lot of girls who get pregnant have unconscious agendas and emotional needs they are trying to fill. Many an "accidental pregnancy" is no accident at all.

With all the contraceptive, abortion, and adoption options available these days, I have little sympathy for women who toss their lives away needlessly on a child they weren't ready to have. Feminists fought hard for women to have the right to choose. Any choice is fine with me -- except staying on public assistance and pumping out puppy after puppy who likely has no future -- but for heaven's sake start choosing.

I'd only be upset about my my children having sex if they weren't discrminating enough and weren't safe about it. If they take care of those criteria, well then, fuck away. As long as they understand the difference between sex and love there's no reason to squander the sensual pleasures of youth on a morality developed before birth control.

Word Infinity! Dr. Al, I'd much rather listen to you than Dr. Shill.

[OT] I'll go on the "My snooty SIL thinks I'm not good enough for her brother" show. Their mother passed away long before I married him so I really have no MIL drama. [/OT]

I don't think Alex has any interest in marine biology. I don't think she even knows what it is. I think it's just something she heard once as a career 'smart' people might be interested in. She could have just as well said, "I want to be a rocket scientist!" Would Phil have sent her to the space station then? I bet she would have hooked up with a Russian astronaut while she was there, though ...

Porkfat, are we the same person? If not, I can SO feel your pain!

Whether you are prolife or prochoice, choosing abortion is one AGONIZING option.

It is amazing to see the number of "unplanned" pregnancies among otherwise thoughtful, careful women.

I wish Alex had given Nathan up for adoption. ITA with the poster who suggested they give her parenting classes and not these vocational field trips to Grand Cayman. I was always suspicious of people who wanted to be marine biologists- they just want to whale-watch and swim with dolphins.

I would have to agree. If she was really interested in it, she would have much more interest in her studies... which from what we've seen doesn't seem to be the case.
Working on a Masters of my own in another field, and just being around others in higher education, seems to me that Alex would just carry herself differently if she did have a true interest.

Going to the Caymans is obnoxious to see if someone wants to get in that field. Why not show her at the lab analyzing specimens and working on tests, etc.?
Make her sit down and READ book after book and watch video after video to learn the extent. It's right up there with every kid who gets a new pet right there and then deciding they want to be a veterinarian.

Seems more like she heard a $10 word in a big $ job title and it just sounds better than "I don't know..." around her family.
I do wish her all the luck in the future cuz this child is gonna need it!

On my wedding day my MIL was going around telling the groomsmen not to expect the wedding to happen because she had a few tricks up her sleeve, including telling my husband that his great-grandmother had fallen down the stairs and was in intensive care, not expected to live. (BTW, she was living in a nursing home and had fallen out of her chair and suffered some bruising, that's it.)


Don't forget that all important marine biologist job of frolicking on the beach in your bikini like you haven't a care in the world (or an infant at home that might interfere with said plans).

Dr.Al, that's the problem. I don't think most teen girls are that mature. When I was in high school all my girlfriends were sexually active, and none of them began their sex lives with the mature decision to explore this new facet of adulthood in a rational, protected manner. In fact, none of them really learned to enjoy sex all that much until they were in their early 20s. Most, or at least many, girls become sexually active out of a drive to please their boyfiends and/or to fit in with other girls. One girl I knew became sexually active out of a driving need to please men in general- she had been sexually abused as a child. In any case, the some of the smartest and most mature students I went to college with still ended up knocked up and agonzing over what to do, cause neither an abortion nor adoption are an easy alternative. Let alone a teenage girl, who has had no real perception of responsibility or concequences. [/channeling inner republican]

I am beginning to loathe Katherine with the fire of a thousand nuns. Hated, hated, when she said "I want him OUT!" and just got a little verbal slap on the hand from Erin. If my kid talked about her dad that way, no matter how shitty he is, she'd get a big time smack down. Loved that DP told her she is no prize either. And for God's sake, what is up with the old lady hair she was sporting on Friday, she looked like Jaclyn Smith in Charlie's Angels!

Major props to anyone who can tell me what the hell kind of accent the husband of War of the Roses couple's attorney had. I wanted to smack her, but I think she's getting her commuppence by being juxtaposed against the wife's lovely, poised, snarky lawyer.

eta- I'm in on the mother in law show. Mine is a 'why do you think you can think for yourself after I've taught you to be helpless and dependant. But don't come crying to me for help' passive-agressive type.

I get to be on the show too. There is nothing more fun than being a Catholic from the rural Midwest who married into a Jewish family from the East Coast. My MIL has never kept a kosher home, they never went to temple, they celebrated Christmas and not Hanukah...but after mr. maggie and I fell in love, their faith all of a sudden became important to them. We married in a Catholic church because mr. maggie is an atheist and didn't really care...he just wanted to make me happy. I thought my MIL was going to have a coronary on the morning of our wedding: "Tell me I'm dreaming, tell me my precious darling little boy isn't marrying in a Catholic church!"

After the ceremony, everyone was gathered around and hugs and kisses were shared. My MIL grabbed me in an embrace and whispered, "Eventually he'll grow tired of corn-pone pu**y." Some of my guests told me later that she was making fun of my family during the reception, calling us "Hillbilly Catholics" and "white trash."

Whenever I think of MIL shows, I think of that awful, awful MIL who is involved in that family (Troy and Tammy?) where allegations against the wife are being slung, and supposedly the husband has filed for divorce. That woman was BITCH personified...you could just see it written all over her face. The type of woman who simply cannot admit that her son could love another woman other than her, and the type who will see any woman who sleeps with her son as a whore and worse. Shill should have allowed me to guest-host that episode. Bitch would have gotten the smackdown, and damned hard.

ARE YOU JOKING? What did you say? I would have taken her arm firmly and escorted her to the steps and kicked her ass into the street!

What is WRONG with people?

Damn, Maggiegault and PorkFat, your MILs makes mine look like America's Sweetheart! Thankfully every bad mother in law deserves a bad-ass daughter in law.

You want good MIL horror stories, go here.

Dr. Phil has put out a call for the next Dr. Phil Family(AKA FUF3):
Do you want to be the next Dr. Phil family?
Do you feel your PARENTING needs Dr. Phil's help ? Dr. Phil has been working all year with families in crisis. If you would like to be considered to be the next Dr. Phil Family, please respond only if you are willing to appear on "Dr. Phil" for at least a one year commitment. We are particularly looking for families with 2 or more children, ranging in age from 2-18. We will be focusing on parenting this coming year, so please briefly tell us about your family.

Jeebus-god, I'm going to call my MIL and tell her how much I appreciate her!

BTW, borokat, something interesting happens when the grandchild arrives. First, you are treated like the most precious thing on earth, for providing them such a gift.....right up until you take the little bundle home to raise. You see, you're doing it wrong. SHE raised (x number) of children, and SHE knows how it's done. Don't bother to argue. It eases up at about four months, when it becomes obvious that you haven't tried to bathe the baby in the dishwasher.

This is where southern training comes in so handy, smiling and saying "how kind of you to take such an interest" when you really want to tell them to shut up-shut up-shut up up up!!! Then again, in maggie's case, you would have to lean in close, smile ever so sweetly and say, "If you want any kind of relationship with your son, and ever want to see your grandchildren, ever, you'd better watch yourself you poisonous bitch."

Meanwhile, back on topic, ITA that Alex thought marine biology sounded glamorous. Well, it got her a trip to Cayman -- isn't she lucky she didn't say "intensive care nurse" or "steelworker".