I thought Rene was going to slap his wife for sure. I bet if someone else had so much as flinched and looked like they were going to slap someone, he would have gone ahead and done it. And I bet it wouldn't have been the first time. He was a grade A asshole. What was that shit he was saying to her when they were supposed to describe things that they wished their wifes would stop doing? "Stop being so selfish, you're the most selfish thing I ever met." Excuse me? She has 4 kids under the age of 8, she doesn't have time to be selfish. Stupid? Yes (for breeding repeatedly with this caveman) but selfish, no.

Was it just me or did the big tall blond specifically ask for money like three times. Does he try to control her with money or is she just that blatant about her number one priority?

I think sometimes these parents forget that it is not actually their own name they are choosing---a real person is going to have to live with this name and spell it out to people for the rest of their lives.

Re. today's show: I actually like this little series :-) I justt hink he is overdoing the special series thing. Maybe he should have saved this one for next year.

oy. What's the difference. Husbands and wives humiliating each other and smacking each other on national TV (were we really sensibly relieved from having to watch?) and our own soldiers doing the same in Iraq.

I'm so tired of this shit. Why can't I stop watching. Perhaps, to thank my stars, that it isn't me or anyone I know.

Dr. Pill is a shyster, plain and simple. He's sold out and it's all about HIM now. Unimpressed. And Robin sitting in on the therapy sessions again? Puleeese. This overpampered bimbo of a wife.......it's truly gone over the top. Jump the shark? Yes, please do, Dr. Pill.

Jump!

Hexele, thanks for the congrats! Congrats to you, too!

These parenting shows are scaring us to death!

I agree with posters like tallulahbabe-PP has probably jumped the shark. I would be mad if he pawned Robin off on my therapy group-what the hell can she possibly contribute? Might as well talk Nintendo with Jordan.

What is up with these people? Why would someone talk like that to their spouse? Life is too damn short . Why deliberately attempt to hurt someone on a daily basis? Sometimes I think these people are bored, not just PeePee Kycsar Sose Boy.

Did you notice that Robin asked the same question with the same words all the time? And that "Scott" (or whoever he was) used the same words? Those two were not doing therapy, but just reading a script. Which is good, since Robin is, well, Robin.

As far as the blonde wanting money, one of the times, she said, "It's not okay for me to have to go out without any money." So I took it to mean that he doesn't share his earnings with her.

And Rene? He's a pig. And Mike was right: Rene does not get it.

OK, wait a second. The grossly hyped slapfest results in everybody just standing there? No one actually went ahead and slapped their spouse? Six couples who hate each other's guts, DP egging them on, and -- nothing? Not that I was all that eager to see spousal abuse, it's just that I'm surprised no one took the Phil-sanctioned opportunity and went for it.

I really hope that Rene and Delcy are one of the couples that DP tells to get a divorce. Rene is awful. He's got creepy eyes -- I would not want to stand in a dyad looking into his face. There will be celebrating chez loudfan if these two decide to split up, especially if Delcy gets a great lawyer and sues him for everything he's got.

I'm confused. Did they slap each other and we didn't see it, or did he get them all hyped up and the hug was just a "oh thank god I'm so glad I didn't actually have to slap you" thing?

Love the promo dept. "The four words one couple didn't expect to hear ... " What do you want to bet it goes something like, "I know everybody says "y'all need a divorce" but I am Dr. Phil and I will save you from all this!"

That slap the hell out of you exercise probably would work in real therapy. Cut to the chase and ask John and Mary to take a poke at each other. If they do, their Solomon like therapist says, "Ah, you have failed the test. Now go divorce." That wasn't going to happen in front of cameras, even if all of these people had long domestic violence rapsheets. Abusers don't do it in front of witnesses.

I didn't get it either, so I read the recrap on the Dr. Phil website. It said something like "everybody stood there frozen." Then DP told them to give each other a hug. The site made it clear that they didn't actually whack each other.



Word. I have only been watching this show for a couple months, but it doesn't take long to become savvy to the promo department's machinations.

About that Relationship Rescue Retreat... Is it just me, or are there two guys who look EXACTLY the same? What the...?

*shaking head*

Relationship Rescue Retreat has been good for MY marriage, but not in the way The Shill intended: I have never felt so lucky to have mr. maggie in my entire life. Sure, we have our problems, as any longterm couple does; yet we do not experience any of the truly fucked-up shit these self-absorbed miscreants do to one another in the name of "marriage."

(I'm sorry about the strong language. Sometimes when you feel totally disgusted with something, you have to resort to using the actual curse word, not the asterisks.)

There is something about Rene and Gelsey that is not being told. I don't want to come across as a victim or martyr here, but my relationship prior to meeting my husband was a mentally and physically abusive one. I have a sixth sense about spotting abusers. My radar was OUT OF CONTROL whilst watching Rene's self-serving monologue about how he gives mad love to "the neighborhood." He is smug, pompous, superior, and a blowhard; good on Shill for resorting to Old School Dr. Phil Tactics and calling him out on being a royal prick. I cannot imagine what Gelsey's life is like on a daily basis. She is raising four little ones, and that man has the audacity, the unmitigated gall, to complain about a twice-weekly nanny? For the little things that she enjoys (I reckon manicures and clothes, stuff like that)? Jesus Christ, doesn't she DESERVE it?

Rene is one of those assholes who will tell the entire freaking world "my children are the most important thing in the world to me," but disrespect and shame the woman who gave him those children. No person should be called a "loser."

Regarding the tall skinny blonde and the short little nerd, I just don't get it. I truly don't. Why, exactly, is that foxy broad trying to hold onto such a miniscule dork? I'm embarrassed for her, that she would give his sexual peccadilloes a second thought. If there was ever a justification for The Rules, this screwed-up relationship is it. Sorry, if I have just birthed your baby and you feel "unwanted" like a silly little bitch and go out and screw some little twit in order to boost your pathetic self-image, well, see you in divorce court. That woman does not forgive him for the affair, and frankly, I side with her. There are some sins so serious that they shouldn't be forgiven. Shill keeps going on and on about "moving on," but I don't think I would be able to. Just the fact that he took the new baby to the park for the afternoon with the little bimbo would be grounds for divorce for me.

Shill is giving her the smackdown for not forgiving him, for making him pay...but were I her, Short Nerd would be experiencing a kind of hell Dante himself could not have envisioned. And yes, Shill, it IS about punishing the cheater. It's justified. And as long as he continues his attitude of being a remorseless prick, I would make his life worse and worse. That sounds psycho, but it's true.

Money is always cited as the #1 issue in these marriages...what about children? I don't want to step on anyone's toes here...but why hasn't the toll children take on a marriage being addressed? It's not politically correct to talk about, but many marriages fall apart when the little ones come along...the blessed event sometimes winds up being a curse for the husband and wife. The common denominators among all of these couples is that they a) are fucked up beyond belief; and b) have children. The two don't go hand-in-hand, but it bears mentioning that the issue of kids should be addressed.

-DP quote from today's show.

Finally DP says something that I totally agree about. Today's show is an example of 2 completely worthless human beings. Oh, so she "forced" you to marry her? She "forced" you to have kids? Grow some balls, jackass, and stop hiding her stuff! This is what children do. And she is a lying, manipulating harpy that tried to pull the same "victim" crap on DP, who seemed (amazingly enough) to have as much contempt for them as I do.

Since we have been discussing parenting issues here this week, I have one for you guys (hopefully not too way off topic). How old were your children when you started letting them play by themselves in the backyard? We live in suburbia, and have a fenced in back yard where our german shepherds roam wild and free. They are 6 months old and have shown 0 signs of aggression- they are big floppy babies. But they are STRONG and I would hate for one of them down the road to hurt him by accident. I had an german shepherd who was an attack dog (Dad's in law enforcement) when I was a toddler and my Dad could not spank me w/out Dillenger getting upset! SO I have grown up around them and I want LilB to, too, as they are a great breed. I just want to know if anyone else here has had little kids and big dogs.

How is the pregnancy going, marillion, I have less than 2 weeks left! Yay! Are ya'll talking about the WebMD pregnancy boards, because there are some crazy bitches over there.

ETA-


Your marriage has to be STRONG to survive this parenting stuff, I totally agree (which by the way, maggie, LilB still is taking his sweet time, grrr). If your marriage is built on fluff an self-centeredness, you don't have a chance in hell. Nine months of pregnancy have already changed our marriage. Trips to Hawaii- nope. Lots of disposable income- gone. Late nights out sharing romantic cocktails- hah! Sex- huh? We are lucky that these drastic changes that I have mentioned only really occured for us in the 3rd trimester as I have had an amazingly normal pregnancy (thank God). I still traveled in my 2nd Tri. But what about people who have high-risk pregnancies? Nine months of bed rest? And I am just talking about the beginning, not even when the rugrats take over your life.

You ain't stepping on my toes -- we just spent the entire mother's day weekend arguing about how our sex life has dwindled. (Well, we argued about other things, but that was the upshot.) Kids change marriages. Just the facts.

The only thing I'm getting about the RRR pairs is: they are each and every one of them hideously self-centered. Gelsey, on the other hand, needs a good lawyer and then maybe a shotgun.

Borokat: dogs and babies. You'll know how things are between them before he's old enough to run around outside. I have no problem leaving 5-month-old Baby Hex on the floor in his play gym or outside in his activity center with our border collie around. He gets his face "washed" about once a day. When baby gets to the grabbing and pulling stage, I'll be more worried about the dog. Then there'll probably be a time when toddling baby gets body checked by playful dog. By the time LilB is truly playing in the backyard, your pooches will be older and less likely to roughshod him. But hey, that's just my opinion.

Don't you scream SHUT UP! at the tv when these couples not only fight in front of their kids but involve them in the brawl? (Didn't Daddy show you that picture? Didn't Mommy say that?) My stomach clenches in empathy with these poor kids.

Yes babies change marriages, but remember this: Marriage is like the two of you in a rowboat. When the first baby comes, the rowboat capsizes briefly and you're both tossed into the water. You feel disoriented (tired, angry, guilty, depressed) but like two wet, shivering people in a rowboat the sun gradually warms you up and the rowboat is cozy again. Only now you have a third person along for the ride whom you can't believe you ever lived without. Be warned: You will have such enormous waves of love for your baby that you may even reflexively grab something for support. It is akin to a steep roller coaster ride, except that you never want it to end.


I wish all of the Dr Phil couples could remember that feeling when their marriages began to collapse. Even through divorce they could hold their kids up and out of harm's way.

I think I'm in the same place as tallulahbabe. Seeing the ugliness of today's divorcing couple, right after the ugliness of the world news - ugh- I'm just not in the mood for it.

Amy and John seem to be more concerned with their tupperware and diamond bracelets than with the fact that the kids are sobbing and wetting the bed. I turned firmly agianst Amy at the beginning of the show when, after John has called her a liar, told the kids she was cheating, got her in trouble at work and a dozen other bad things, she said the worst thing he had ever done was call her "mentally ill." Hello? I know quite a few mentally ill people and Amy isn't worthy to shine their shoes. What a dumb piece of work she is.

Borokat, I've had the kids and big dog situation and I would recommend keeping a close eye on them all, at first. The pups are so young they might still be thinking they can take a higher pack position than the kids and try to dominate them. It's such a nice break for you, though, to be able to send the kids out back for awhile. Maybe you could put the dogs in the garage while the kids play.Edited to say "oops". After I read Hexele's post I realize Borokat's talking about the wee bairn and not older existing kids. Nevermind.

I agree about the dog stuff, I would first test them when you are around to watch about the grabby stuff when the baby gets to that stage. Chances are if they've shown no aggression, they won't, but its better to be safe than sorry with your kids. The true test is when there's food around, baby's are an easy target and if your dog has issues about food protection, that can be very very dangerous. Obedience training also helps a lot of the time if you haven't already. My niece is now 8 months old, very grabby towards my two dogs (BIG dogs), but they just sit there and take it or get up and go somewhere else. I would just definitely watch it very closely at first and if there is even a hint of behavior, curb it!

I'm with yall, I wanted some slappin! Re: The tupperware couple, bwaha, people are so stupid.

Good point about the "food issue" test with the dogs, Katymo.
The only time my current dog ever snapped, it was at a two year old trying out one of her precious kibbles.

Just figured out who John reminds me of - Ed Norton in Primal Fear, just before Richard Gere realized that the shy stuttering stuff was all an act.

Sorry but some parents never have love for their children. Some people are emotionally cauterized. Some people angry and abusive. Some people can't hardly wait for the ride to end and walk away without ever looking back.

I watched one of the RRR shows with a therapist who does marriage counseling. He said something interesting: "Wow. They really found reactive people who respond to stress by getting verbally defensive and louder. Lots of people respond to stress by getting quieter and going farther inside themselves. This has three advantages for DP. First, the pathologies in the marriages are going to look really bad, because this kind of couple puts everything on the surface and amplifies it. Second, these people are going to make lots of noise on televison. Third, this is the only kind of person who has even the potential to repsond to this drill sargeant approach DP is taking. All in all, had they not screened their applicants for couples where both people are highly reactive, this would not be nearly as compelling a train wreck to watch. Most marriage counseling is pretty boring to watch."

And, hopefully, their kids get psychotherapy and the pattern ends there. Otherwise they internalize the hate and grow their own cancers. The couples on Phil's show didn't know that. The rest of us can't stop marveling at the world because of the bastards or, hell, we'd be them, wouldn't we?

For me, the affair would be grounds for divorce. Taking the baby to the park with the floosy would be grounds for murder. I was so angry on her behalf watching that. She has a right to shit all over hubby for as long as she wants IMO and he should have to take it and call it candy for what he did to her. I think the little man is suffering from serious Short Man's Disease.

Off-topic: bkat, you have shepherds? This is what I've read and believe about herding breeds: they believe the baby is part of the flock, and often try to herd. When children run and scream, they become out-of-control sheep in the minds of the dog. Running screaming children (natural kids!) get nipped to get them back in line. Teach LilB, when he gets old enough, to "stand like a tree" when the GSDs get rambunctious.

Border collies get put in shelters all the time for biting the kids. My previous collie nipped my niece! Thank goodness my sister's response was, "Didn't I tell you not to pester the dog?" (No skin was broken.)

Take a receiving blanket home from the hospital for the dogs to smell prior to bringing baby home. This was a hoot for us! First question I asked my pediatrician: should I worry about dog hair and saliva? Answer: nope, rock on (paraphrased).

On-topic: This is the old DP, thank god...both of these people needed serious bitch-slapping. Vitriolic much? Lip-service often? Did he say where they're from?, 'cause damn she looks familiar!

I'm glad Dr. Phil called John on the "voice activated tape recorder" bullshit.

John seems like the kind of ass that pokes and prods and provokes until there wasn't any other available reaction than for Amy to lose her shit and yell. Then when you do yell, he gets all sotto voce and rational, letting Amy look like the lunatic and the irrational half of the couple. He also seemed really in to the "Didn't I tell your mother that?" and "But my kids said that I left the tape recorder at work!"

I'm not defending Amy but John just seems like a prick.

When they were talking about the kids having problems, I cringed. These poor, innocent little lumps of clay are being pounded and sculpted by two drunken, retarded neo-trashy artists who have no concern for the damage they do. In 5-10 years, when one of their kids carjacks a guy and shoots him and everyone wants the kid to be punished, at least there will be videotaped evidence of why it turned out that way.

Maybe it's just me since I'm hopelessly addicted to Showbiz Moms & Dads, but I'm just so sick of watching selfish, so-called parents so wrapped up in their own bullshit that they can't see the damage they're doing to their children. It's just sad to realize that my dogs have better lives than do a lot of children from 'good homes'. Tupperware and foosball? Grow the fuck up already.

Oh, my God. We had the exact same Mother's Day. Nice.

Re: Amy saying that the biggest insult was being called mentally ill...I wanted to puke. I was so angry. Would it be an insult to say, "You have cancer"? Both mental illness and cancer are illnesses that the person affected has no control over, other than to take the recommended medication and follow the recommended treatment. And even so, there are no guarantees. And it's not the affected person's fault. <deep breath> Okay, I feel better. Off to take my daily round of psych meds. Screw you, Amy, you hatchet-faced bitch.

thanks, gemmadoll- this was interesting to read. I pray I don't "love" babymarillion so much I let him/her pee on our TV!

Borokat- things are going swimmingly, baby-wise! I hope you are staying comfortable in your home stretch! I go to iVillage to look at pregnancy boards- they are somewhat sane except for the occasional crappy-name poll.

If my separated husband took our 3 month old baby to the park with a fling floozy, I would probably go to said park and shoot hubby and floozy. What the hell was that man thinking?

Hexele I bet your sister is a good mom.

As an adult managing manic-depressive illness, I was going to say the exact same thing...you just beat me to it!

How assinine..."You're mentally ill!" That's like yelling, "Oh yeah? Well, you're DIABETIC!" at your spouse during the course of an argument.

Mental illness is a crisis of CHEMISTRY, not a crisis of CHARACTER. What's more, most mental illnesses are highly treatable. It's fuckwits like John who keep the stigma attached to what is a legitimate family of illnesses.

Why do some people give their kids such weird names? And then weird spellings, too? Why not focus your creativity in other ways? Yes, your little angel is special and precious and different from all the other babies. Why does he or she have to have a stupid name to prove it?

I have a very common name, with a very uncommon spelling. I spend half my life correcting people. Why, parents, why?

I have noticed a nice trend of people giving their children more classic names. It's encouraging.

Word! I think the same thing about my cats sometimes. Of course there are always those kitty and puppy pageants we could subject our furbabies to - there's nothing like a cat in a tiara!

Maggiegault, did you coin that yourself? Because I am going to write it on an index card and tape it to my computer and put a copy in my purse. Sometimes I have a hard time remembering that, just for myself. And from one Bipolar I to another, Hi! I also have OCD and PTSD, and those are just my Axis I diagnoses...I'm just stable enough to be a TWOPer. *snerk*

TOPIC: But you realize that we wouldn't be allowed to even be in the audience of the Dr. Phil show?

Unless it's a German Shepard in an evening gown (the twirly kind).


Oh yeah, topic: I didn't know that Robin was a licensed therapist. [/sarcasm]

They're both behaving like asses but John's the smarter or more diabolical one. He plays Amy like a violin. There are always other available reactions when your children are present. I never saw my parents argue. I know they did but I never saw or heard them do it. Of course, they are still together which suggests they may be better at conflict resolution than Amy and John.

The biggest sign to me that John is an ass is how he made public the fact that he really didn't want to have children. It's fine not to want to have children. I don't want them myself. However, if I end up pregnant and decide to keep that child, there is no way in hell that I'd be broadcasting that fact to the rest of the world after their birth. Imagine the kids' confusion. Daddy didn't want us but now he wants us?

I thought the client/lawyer relationships were intersting. It seems to me that Amy comes across as less rational than John while John's lawyer is quite a pit bull in comparison to Amy's.

Dammit! I had given up on DP but this is kind of fascinating, I must admit. I think the saddest part about this is I know couples like this. They had seemingly good marriages but their divorces were ugly.

We must all be drinking the same water.


I TIVO'd today's episode and can't wait to get home to watch it.

O/T: I'm not a fan of classic names because SO many people have them already. It's tiring to hear the same names being resused over and over again: Mary, Beth, Elizabeth, Sarah, etc. It's refreshing and exciting to hear something that is creative and different. I know when I have kids they are defintely going to have unique names. And they should not be judged based on a name that was given to them; after all its just a name.

"Unique" baby names and spellings ... hoot of a site devoted to that very thing.

I haven't seen today's divorcing couple yet. Not sure I want to really. Still hunting down pee-parents so I can slap them silly myself. That woman isn't going to change a thing at home, and neither is that other woman going to stop spending them into the poorhouse. That was a total "look, aren't I cute and I'm on Dr. Phil!" moment for those people.

This message brought to you by the letter P and the number 2.

I'm catching up on the shows I've missed during my roadtrip from Texas to North Carolina. 18 hours (one-way). In a car. No stopping. Thank gods for David Bowie.

FUF2 is still clueless and I get even pissier the more I see them. Stacy is a beeyatch. Chris is completely right to avoid sealing the marriage. Fix the marriage first and then go to the temple. Apparently sealing doesn't mean much to Stacy since she had her first one broken and mentions it so nonchalantly.

Unfortunately, BlkChile401, children have to live in the real world. Those with goofy ass names are more likely to be targets for bullies. If someone wants to give children unusual names, they should give them unique middle names and make their classmates spend the next 12 years guessing what X. stands for.

Is it wrong that I totally just wondered where I could get my german shepherds evening gowns? Heidi and Bella could be pretty pretty princesses [/insane dog owner]. MrB would KILL me. And thanks guys for all the help, in these final days of staying home and being superpregnant, I think I am losing my grasp on reality a bit- hence me worrying about how my dogs are going to react to a child that is not even here yet!

Oooohh, I am so looking forward to the FUF ep tomorrow. How come when I was 15, I never ran off with some guy on the beach? Oh yeah, parental responsibility. Why does Alex even get the option or opportunity?

John? File under Broderick, Dan.

Amy? File under Broderick, Betty.

OMFG, maggiegault. A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story is the greatest Lifetime movie ever. You're my new internet BFF.

Gee, and borokat, bet that's why you're just now having the lil' borokat, instead of knocked up at 14 like someone we all know. Did I hear right that we have FUF1 on both Thursday and Friday this week?

You know, Marty's such a lying sack o' shit and so into justifying himself, I'm really starting to wonder if stepdad did beat his ass the way he claims. He doesn't tell the truth about anything else - and isn't it a great excuse, I'm such a fucktard because I had a lousy childhood. Hope Erin changed the locks.

Hee!! And also hee. But yeah I was just sort of pre-diagnosed as manic-depressive two weeks ago so I was like WTF?

Marty is like one of those serial killers who whines about having a bad childhood so the jury will spare him the death penalty. A bad childhood is bad, but not everyone that experiences one grows up to be a murderer, or in Marty's case, a total asshat.

Actually, what these parents are doing --overindulging, not setting firm limits--is the opposite of love. What I have seen over and over in twenty years of practice (working exclusively with badly abused children) is that this kind of lax or indulgent "parenting" is often the precursor to physical abuse. I don't know why Phil glossed over that.

(I usually try to say something about the VERY POSITIVE side of becoming a new mom because it seems pregnant women hear nine months of horror stories and cautions. Yes it is hard work to raise a productive, decent human being, but normal loving parents have a lot of good stuff to make it worth the struggle. )

As far as little Kaiser Pisser, I pray his parents keep him away from car batteries (or is it spark plugs men?) until they break him of the habit.

No, it's not, just click here. I can't for the life of me find the entire video clip of "You're the One That I Want" -- if you're a dog person it's worth seeing. These shorts are pretty crappy and don't give a good idea of everything that goes on.

On topic: I've got to see more of John and Amy -- I'd say neither are blameless in that family. Maybe it's one of those unions where the two people apart are probably pretty nice, but together they just constantly trigger one another to worse and worse behavior. I've seen folks who were better parents and people apart than they were together. For the kids sake, I hope this is the case.

FUF 1

Philip, don't ever look in the camera and tell me you know what I'm thinking.

Katherine has some real authority figure issues - in that she wants to be the authority figure. I'm not surprised that she beat up her last boyfriend. I can see her marrying someday just for the pleasure of kicking him out the first time he forgets to take the trash out. She's a perfect example of what happens when a child is brought into the parent's anger and blame calling. Marty is her father, the person who provides her with food, shelter, clothes, orthodonture and horses. She has no business telling him that he "just needs to leave" over something that should be strictly between her parents. Bring back the slapping show! I'm ready now!

In this one show Marty was reprimanded for shutting down into silence and then told that when Katherine starts to yell he should just walk away rather than get into a yelling match with her. I really think Marty needs some role playing exercise on how to find that middle ground.

Nathan really should be my baby.

RE: Today's show... FUF1

While watching the beginning of the episode (post-last episode backstage) did anyone feel like the staff was purposely keeping Marty from the rest of his family? I did.

fangums, this site is the most hysterical I've seen in awhile! Spent waaay to much time reading it. And, still laughing.

Oooooo, who has the 2 shepherd dogs and expecting the beebee? Borokat? Yes, good idea of bringing a little blanket home and allowing the dogs to smell it and become familiar with the baby's scent. However, please keep in mind that dogs are territorial and can become very jealous of a newcomer, be it another dog or a baby. A crying baby can really upset some dogs. You'll just have to be very watchful. There's a good site (couldn't find it just now) on introducing a new baby to pets.

Amy and John, ohgod! He's the grand manipulator, that sneaky, slimy ass. Taping anyone secretly is grounds for morte in my book. Those two should never be in the same room and their children should be adopted by a loving couple. Do you think that the sniping will end after the divorce? Hah, no way. Those poor kids will bear the brunt of this while either of those two asshats is still alive.

Re the "you're mentally ill"/"you're diabetic" comment....reminds me of an old joke that goes: If homosexuality is a disease, I'm calling in sick today. "Hello? Can't come in today. Still gay."

FUF2? Stay tuned.

FUF1? GET THOSE GIRLS INTO THERAPY! NOW!

Ah, here is the baby/dog link:http://www.vcu.edu/paws/babydog.htm

A super shout out to the fellow crazy folks on the Shill thread! Just for shits and giggles, let's go to Burbank for a taping and INSIST on being in the studio audience. Then we could heckle the Shill over and over, yelling stuff like, "That's Harville Hendrix stuff! (where is Professor Soap, by the way?) Hey Shill, that's not what MY shrink says! Excuse me, Shill? I have a question. I had a manic episode a couple of weeks ago, and I had to be put in a straitjacket. Frankly, that wasn't working for me. Any ideas?"

Seriously, though...as dire as manic depression is, it is also one of the most treatable of mental illnesses. I will never, ever forget my first hit of lithium. It was like a car horn, which had been stuck and blaring for 29 years, suddenly went quiet. My brain was literally going, "Oh yeah, that's the stuff." I've been managing it for four years now. I've had my good times and my bad times. You must never give up. There is always hope.

Besides, as my psychiatrist always says, bipolar people are some of the most intelligent, creative, and articulate people on the planet. And Google "famous bipolar people" and see what good company we are in.

I like Amy. I feel that she truly does have the interests of her children at heart; whereas John uses the children against Amy to be a passive-aggressive prick. The stunt he pulled with the Web site, claiming that some bloke on there was Mom's boyfriend, is grounds enough for him to NEVER have custody of those kids, if you ask me. Amy's an emotional screamer. So what? I can be the same way sometimes. She should NEVER engage the children in her fights with John, but I don't blame her for screaming at this poor excuse for a man who uses his silence and "calm" facade as a means of provoking her further. He knows exactly what buttons to push...and she lets him push them.

Believe me, nothing makes a passive-aggressive asshole like John angrier than refusing to engage in his little games. Ignore him, Amy...you can do better. Let him have the Tupperware and move on with your life.

One more thing: in my legal work, I have done a significant amount of work in the family courts, and all I will say is that those attorneys better have their clients under control if and when this all goes before a judge. No judge that I know of would tolerate the type of nonsense we saw demonstrated on yesterday's show. Arguments about a lawn mower? An air-hockey table? Tupperware? The judges I know and have worked with would throw the book at both of them, and scream at the attorneys to stop wasting his or her valuable time. Stuff like that stays with a judge...and can affect future ruling when the same counsel is involved.

Oh, and the lawyer who kept saying "We'll fight her on the beaches?" Bitch, my grandfather fought on the beaches of Normandy, and I resent like hell that you use that analogy for John's pathetic need to control his wife by hiding her diamond bracelet. (Was it me, or would you have called that stealing?) What's more, I would imagine that the tape could and would be used in court against your client; your comments demonstrate an unwillingness to work with the mother of his children for an equitable settlement. Being on the offensive can be disastrous in a divorce involving kids. Judges don't cotton kindly to antagonistic comments such as those the scarf lady made. Especially from an officer of the court.

ETA: Yes, the little saying about mental illness, chemistry, and character is a maggiegault original. I forgot to address it above because, well, lithium can make you a little forgetful at times!

I, too, was highly offended. Especially with what is going on in the world today, to compare her trivial, piddlyass divorce case to American soldiers fighting for democracy. There is a word for her, but I am a lady and will not use such in polite company (OK, I know that I called someone a fucking loser the other day, but he WAS).

So are we getting another FUF tomorrow? Erin taking Marty back was like. whatever. At this point, I think they all deserve what they get. And why is DP trying so hard to keep them together, it was like he was making the decision for Erin, after she telling him time and time again that the marriage is done. I don't think it has anything to do w/ successful therapy, I believe at this point, DP is just trying to save face.

Thank you for the link tallulah, it was very helpful. And thank you to whoever sent me the link to the dog book, I could not figure out how to email you back. I am lucky that my dogs are not aggressive, in fact, Heidi got her ass torn up by Nicky, the neighborhood weiner dog the other day. Nicky wasn't playin'. They hunt bugs, that is about their level of aggressiveness. Of course I came home from the Dr (no LilB yet) today and found them lying passed out among the remains of one of my patio seat cushions! Nice.

borokat, does your husband know how to TWOP? Because we'd like news immediately. Alternately, a laptop at the hospital does wonders to pass the time after they wake you at an ungodly hour but before the babe needs nursing.