I think Phil's arc is really interesting -- he's a traditional guy, and like Tony, suffered a health scare and seemed to mellow for a while.
But Phil got pissed when he thought Tony and his crew were disrespecting the traditions of the Family. Phil is old school -- see his speech last episode about how disgusted he was that Tony didn't even do time and was practically handed the job. He seems hard in all the places Tony was sometimes soft. Tony generally agonized over ordering whackings, and could let things go on too long (Ralphie, Vito). Phil ordered the hits on New Jersey and never looked back.
Or was Phil really still pissed because of the unauthorized whacking of his brother? Would he have been okay with the hit if it had gone through proper channels?
This is why I love
Kim! I've been thinking a lot this season about what makes the Tony/Phil rivalry so interesting, and I think it's the pitting of new school against old school. Tony is a modern gangster; a lot of his decisions and character traits subvert the traditional, more stereotypical "macho" mobster role. In season one, his decision to participate in psychotherapy was highly controversial, and IIRC, was even one of the reasons why Uncle Jun tried to have him offed. His defense of Vito, his support of Tony B.'s decision to quit and become a massage therapist, and especially, his tremendous affection towards animals... all detract from his machismo. But I feel that Tony is a survivor
because of this "softness"; he's not encumbered by adherence to traditions. His humanity is a strong asset, and I think that therapy made it even stronger.
Phil, however, cares only about tradition and the old school honor code, and that's his fatal flaw. Phil took it personally when Vito was outed, because Marie Spatafore is his cousin. And yet he chose to take Marie's husband (and her
children's father...and his income) away from them because Vito was gay. He didn't just kill Vito--he physically humiliated him, and basically destroyed the Spatafore family. He also held the grudge against Tony B. for way too long. Even after Tony Soprano
killed his own cousin, Phil still couldn't bury the hatchet, because he had wanted to torture Tony B. to death. Tony told Phil in his hospital bed that he should spend time with his family, and that "we could have it all. Money for everyone." Phil did seem to mellow out after that, but then he was back to complaining that Tony was "harboring a faggot." I think Phil ordered the hits on New Jersey for Vito, for his brother Billy, for the asbestos disposal problem, for new problems that arose and for old problems that had already been resolved. He had been waiting for an excuse to do it. Phil's violent death in front of his family was karmic retribution for all the negativity and violence he had perpetuated.
I respect Albie and Butchie for listening to reason. Butchie promised to give money to Janice for whacking Bobby--something Phil never would have agreed to. I don't necessarily see Butchie saying "do what you gotta do" as turning on Phil. I think he and Albie realized that someone like Phil, who is so driven by hatred and resentment, is never long for this world. They knew that Phil's end was coming, but they were at least loyal enough not to reveal his location. Also, I think it was silly of Phil to discredit Tony for never having done hard time. Tony has avoided jail so far by being a savvy criminal (and also by being lucky). On this show, being successful in the mafia is not about having been to jail, or being a homophobe, or strictly following the Code no matter what the circumstances are. It's about making money and taking care of your family. Tony understood this; Phil did not.