» Things I Am Not Allowed To Do Aboard Galactica Options

[VoodooChild]

Oh lord, you guys, do you mind if I post a few of these in my lj?

Not at all. Especially not if you provide us with links (because I know IsabelStant and I are on LJ, too).

[Xhosa]

973. Ask Capt. Thrace's mom what happened to Vinton.
974. Tell Capt. Thrace her hand looks sweet cuz it's in a jamb.
* Okay, it was a bad joke.

[GoldfishGirl42]

BingoJr- No problem. My own little bit of immortality. :)

975. Not allowed to ask Lt. Dualla where I should send the celebratory cake she ordered.
*Because she didn't.
*Really.
*And even if she had, it would have been mean to mention it in front of Major Adama.
976. I am not Capt. Agathon's new sparring partner.
977. Maj. Adama did not spend last night at Joe's singing "All By Myself" on the karaoke machine.
*Not "One For My Baby And One More For The Road" either.
* It is "karaoke", and I am not to add a capital K or a hyphen between the second a and the o on the sign.
* I do not have videotape of any alleged event.
* And if I do it is hereby confiscated.
*I am banned from Joe's.

This post has been edited by GoldfishGirl42: Mar 8, 2007 @ 1:58 pm.

[BingoJr]

For y'all I quoted in my lj:

DEAR MODS THIS IS NOT A PIMPING OF MY OWN SITE - I WAS ASKED FOR A LINK. :)

http://tzikeh.livejournal.com/322060.html

[TeleRaven]

*Frak me, I'm confined to Gaeta's quarters.
*No, Lt. Gaeta, "frak me" was NOT an invitation.

B'wah!

978. Encouraging the Nuggets to compose bad poetry in honor of Starbuck is not a way around my ban from puns.
*Or poetry.
*Or still looking for more words that rhyme with "Starbuck."

[Natbu]

979. I am to take the President seriously even if she leaves her glasses on.
980. I am to stop insisting Dr. Baltar address the President as "Mommie Dearest."
981. No longer to demand proof of insurance on anything the Admiral wants destroyed.

This post has been edited by Natbu: Mar 10, 2007 @ 10:49 pm.

[Megalomaniac2]

982. I am not allowed to blame my crimes on Mr. Lamkin.

983. Wearing sunglasses does not automatically qualify me to practice law.
*Neither does pissing off the Admiral for no good reason.

984. "But Mr. Lamkin did it!" is not an acceptable excuse for stealing anyone's underpants.

985. Mr. Lamkin did not steal my underpants.

986. I am to cease and desist all efforts to set up a board of inquiry regarding the theft of underpants by Mr. Lamkin.

987. Stealing Mr. Lamkin's underpants in retaliation is not acceptable.

988. I am to stay thirty feet away from Mr. Lamkin at all times.

989. "I was looking for my pen!" is not an acceptable excuse for walking down the hall with my hand in my pants.
*Especially if my pen is very clearly in my shirt pocket.

990. "It will make Athena happy!" is not an acceptable excuse for doing ANYTHING to Specialist Cally.

[DrSnark]

991. I am not allowed to airlock anybody.
*Including a Cylon
*Especially Lt. Agathon
*There is no "Minister of Airlocking" and I should stop telling people that's my position.
*Besides, that's President Roslin's job.

992. I am not allowed to give Sam Anders any more alcohol and tell him, "It's what she would have wanted."

993. Gossiping with Lt. Gaeta about just what Maj. Adama and Sam Anders might be doing to "console" each other isn't really acceptable.
*Talking about it on the wireless is definitely not acceptable.
*I am to stop talking to Lt. Gaeta.

[VoodooChild]

The first one is for the hysterical people in the "Son Also Rises" forum who made this joke long before I heard it.

994. I am not allowed to challenge Gaius Baltar, Number Six, and President Roslin to a few rounds of Celebrity Jeopardy.
* I am also not allowed to make terrible "the penis mightier" jokes.
* Especially within hearing range of Number Six.
* Which is not an invitation to take it off Galactica and aboard Colonial One.
* Even if President Roslin is winning for the fifth day in a row.

995. I am not allowed to follow Romo Lampkin around singing "I Wear My Sunglasses at Night".

996. I am not allowed to steal aforementioned sunglasses and claim "anything you can do, I can do better".
* I am also to return Major Adama's underwear immediately.
* Along with the President's.

Come on, you guys! Four more! Let's hit 1000 before the finale!

[Echo79]

997: I am not allowed to replace Starbuck's picture with a different one after every time Major Adama comes to visit it. It is just cruel. Also, I don't have enough pictures of her to keep it up anyway.

[calbear]

998. Not allowed to replace the President's glasses with sunglasses on the basis of "She'd look cooler that way."
*Not allowed to comment on the coolness of the President.
*Nor the hotness
*No matter what Tory Foster says.

999. Not allowed to yell "Here, Kitty!" within earshot of the President.
*Nor to meow.

And, this is so not worthy, but here it is...

1000. Not allowed to speculate on exactly how the Admiral's buttons got ripped from his jacket.
*Especially not within earshot of the President.
*Definitely not over the fleetwide wireless.
*I am re-re-rebanned from being within 100 yards of the President.

[Demonique]

I dunno, calbear; I thought it was pretty funny...

* I am also not allowed to make terrible "the penis mightier" jokes.

Oh my god. That one actually made me laugh out loud. Hysterically.

1001. Not allowed to spike Dr. Baltar's meals with ritalin.

[MonziK]

1002. I will not replace the lights in the pilots helmets with strobe lights
*or blacklights

1003. I will not refer to cylon mating as "networking"
*I am banned from refering to cylon mating.

[vitamaeternam]

1004. Suggesting to the Major that he should 'talk to his mother' is not a viable way to get him on Baltar's legal team.
*Even if she suggested him first.
*Even if she meant for the Prosecution.
*I am not to put words in the President's mouth.

[Demonique]

1005. I do not own any portion of Gaius Baltar's ass.
*Neither does the Admiral.
*Not like that, anyway.
*It is acknowledged that, in retrospect, Col. Tigh made a poor choice of wording.
*Not allowed to attempt to barter with the Admiral for his portion.
*No, not even on behalf of Lt. Gaeta.
*Or on behalf of Caprica Six.
*Definitely not allowed to speculate on how the Admiral "plans to stake his claim".

This post has been edited by Demonique: Mar 13, 2007 @ 8:43 pm.