» Letters to the Supernatural Characters: Text Me Options

[witchofnovember]

We did this over on the GG thread (look for the Condolezza Rice Mailbox). Letters can be from you to the characters, from the characters to each other, and, at times, from one inanimate object to another.

Don't ask.

-----

Dear Dean,

If you need help picking the rocksalt from your wounds (and someone to kiss and make them better), I'm available.

I'm so incredibly available.

I'll be waiting by the phone.

Witchy

[ktr675]

Dear Manager of Anon-E-Mous Motel,

I'll slip you a twenty if you slip me the key. Deal?

Seriously, just give me the damn key,
KT

[Jennifus]

Dear Brothers,

You're both adorable, and I want to hug you.

No... seriously... No, REALLY... where are you going?!

Love, Mercy

[Magus]

Dear Brothers Dean:

Nine inches. Call me.

Love (in many, many ways),

Magus

[faninohio]

ETA: Forgot to thank witchy for starting this thread. LOVE this one in the GG area.

BWAHAHAHAHA! Oh, Magus, you are the best. Although I shouldn't be laughing this loud this early in the morning.

*****

Dear LCoM,

Dude. Where the fuck were you last night?! I'm jonesing for some distressed leather. Bad.

What was that piece of shit green denim my love machine, Dean, was wearing last night?? Huh? Seriously, you let THAT get next to that fine freckled Dean flesh?? You are the MotherFucking Leather Coat of Masculinity for fuck's sake. Knock that cow vomit green piece of lame ass fabric jacket trying to front as a coat into motherfucking next week.

You better be back in January. Or there will be bloodshed.

fan

This post has been edited by faninohio: Nov 23, 2005 @ 7:44 am.

[witchofnovember]

Dear Dean and Sam,

Whatever you are doing, keep doing it. I haven't had this much sex in years. Who knew the WB was an aphrodesiac to thirty-somethings.

You rock.

witchman

PS: Sweet ride.

[Brunette]

Hee. These are hysterical. Okay, my turn.

Dear Sam Winchester,

I'm sorry to bother you, but I saw you in town today, and I thought you looked insanely familiar. I heard from my mother's fiancee Luke that you and your brother were in town hunting a poltergeist for our friend Kirk. I think you should know that Kirk isn't exactly what one would call "stable" so if you find no evidence of said poltergeist please don't get angry. It's probably the voices in his head acting up again.

Anyway, I was writing to ask you if you were by any chance related to a Dean Forrester. We dated throughout high school, and you look a lot like him. Only for some reason, you seem to be a lot hotter. I don't know what it is about you, but you are just incredibly adorable. And from what I understand, you were studying at Stanford? That is an incredible accomplishment. I myself am currently attending Yale. We should get together to discuss our favorite books sometime.

If you need a place to stay, you should visit my mother's inn, the Dragonfly Inn. I'm sure she could pull some strings and get you a room really cheap.

Cordially yours,

Rory Gilmore

[ktr675]

Dear Sam and Dean,

Do not, DO NOT, go anywhere near a small town in Conneticut called Stars Hollow. I hear that there is a black hole of energy suck there by the name of Rory Gilmore. She must be loved, and when she doesn't get her way she whines. I think she's evil. She dated a Dean once. He is now missing and authorities have yet to find his body. Or his balls. I urge you to run, not walk, away as quickly as possible.

Much love,
KT

P.S. The other residents there are batshit crazy too. Just sayin'.

[Giggling Kat]

Dear Sam,

I am sorry for your loss. I understand this is an ongoing issue for your family. However as I firmly believe there is a silver lining to every cloud, I would urge you to use this tragedy for the public good.

There is a peternaturally pretty girl child named Lana Lang in Smallville, Kansas. Please introduce yourself. I understand she will be slashed, pinned to the ceiling and set on fire.

It would look good on her.

[Magus]

BWAHAHAHAHA! Oh, Magus, you are the best. Although I shouldn't be laughing this loud this early in the morning. - faninohio

Thanks! Of course, it's only funny if it's a lie, babe ;D

***

Dear Brothers Dean

No matter what happens, stay the fuck away from San Francisco. The city is in competant hands. Er... well, it's in hands, anyway. If you go, you are likely to be swept up in a web made by two black haired sisters (and their naturally-black-but-she-dies-her-hair redheaded half-sister). And they've picked up a vacuous apprentice, who also spins webs. The webs will emasculate you, and at the end, when one or both of you fall for one of the sisters (or the ditz), Celine Demon will show up and the sisters will destroy it. Do you want an outsider to avenge your mommy? No? Then please stay as far away from San Fran as possible.

Unless you go there as part of your gay pilgrimage. Because that would rock (remember, nine inches!).

Yours (in as many ways as you will have me),

Magus

P.S.- Nine inches!

[Giggling Kat]

Dear Brothers Dean

I believe my friend Magus warned you off San Fran. Please note that although the dangers he presented are real, there is a blatant case of child abuse by mystical forces at work in the city.

There was a young man (tall, brown hair, lean and lanky body, good at vanquishing potions) who has disappeared. It is likely he faked his death to get away from the women Magus warned you about.

Please find him and take him with you. If you can lure the Celine Demon into killing one or all of the women without falling under their spell in the process, the world would be a better place.

Kat

[Magus]

Dear Brothers Dean

While Giggling Kat tells the truth about the young man in question, it is his involvement with the sisters that deprived the world of his Pretty. As much as I'd love to see him back, please don't risk both your Pretty selves on his behalf. You see, interesting people that encounter the sisters either die or become thirty-three different types of meh. Either way, your Pretty would be destroyed and the world would be out three Pretties. Please consider this.

Magus

[faninohio]

Yo, Dean.

Dude. What up? How you doing? Dude, I'm confused. Did I do something? Are ya pissed at me or what?

:: fabric shuffles, hangers clang together ::

I thought we had a thing. Thought it was something special. I mean you been gettin' a lot of snatch and I think we both know it has a little sumpin' to do with me, dude. You like snatch, I know you do. That cocky smirk and swagger you got going on tell me that. Hey, you're a good looking dude, I'll give you that.

:: get the fuck off of me you cheap piece of nylon shit ::

But when you hang with me? You become one motherfucking hot piece of man flesh that the ladies just cannot. pass. up. You know it's true, dude. So I gotta ask, why? Why the fuck did you hang me in this cocksucking motherfucking closet next to this shiny blue pussy whipped piece of nylon calling itself a "coat"?! Why you hurt me like that, man? Why? You owe me, dude. Big Motherfucking Time. You had sure as fuck better get me out of this hell hole when you return in January, you big fucknugget.

LCoM

[witchofnovember]

Dear "I'm a Piece of Dead Cow",

I got to go over the fence with him.

Suck me.

Green Coat of Athleticism

[faninohio]

Dear Cow-vomit Green Pansy Ass Piece of Denim Frontin' as a [air quotes] Coat [air quotes]:

Suck you? Suck me, you lousy piece of cotton.

Oh, and by the way, you still smell like a fucking toliet from the time you went into the river with him.

Kiss my soft as a calf's skin ass!

LCoM

This post has been edited by faninohio: Nov 24, 2005 @ 9:27 am.