» 3-31: 2004.04.27 Options

[screamapiller]

Say it with me now....TRAIN. WRECK. You know it's a bad night when DIANA has the best performance of the night

For the love of Jesus H. Roman and all that is holy, this is so true. And it makes me want to cry. Or put my foot through the TV screen.

Someone on the Spec thread suggested Luciano Pavorotti night.

Actually, that would be great. If they do Luciano night, the contestants will either:

a) have someone help them on and off stage because they can't do it under their own power and insist on sitting on a stool at the edge of the stage so that they can just phone it in from the wings, or

b) will tell the judges that they're sick 15 minutes before the show starts, which means that 19E will have to get the understudies to go on for them - bring on Marque, Lisa, Susie, and everyone else who might make this display of infinite mehness a little more interesting....

*totally O/T, but I hate that big asshat "divo" Pavarotti with the fire of two thousand nuns (a thousand wouldn't even eclipse his enormous ego inflated head) for completely screwing the arts org. I used to work for. He doesn't deserve to wipe Quentin Taratino's giant sweaty forehead as far as I'm concerned...

[Bosman401]

Apparently Jennifer willed her scary faces to George because YIKES. He was in serious creep mode last night.

Anyway, this competition is in serious trouble. La Toya is the best pure singer left and she would get blown off the stage and out of the studio by either Kelly or Clay without either of them batting an eyelash.

[timmiejdogg]

One more note on the Subway pimpmercial. If you have a chance to play it back, the look on George's face at the end of the bit is priceless. It looks like he wants to say, "That is NOT my child....is it?" Either that, or he was constipated.

[Dianora]

I haven't heard Jennifer say anything like that.

From USA Today: "'If we're going to base it on talent, I know I was robbed,' says ousted singer Jennifer Hudson..."

Fantasia, shut up. I don't understand all this drama about Jennifer leaving. SOMEBODY had to leave. Yeah, maybe it's not the person who was expected to leave, but everybody leaves eventually except for one person! Each week somebody leaves! Jesus Roman it's the nature of the show! Get over it, Fantasia! If Jennifer hadn't left it would have been you, so shut up.

[Ladyluck]

[LaToya's] dancing seemed totally Taliban-approved.

Hee!

Totally forgot Fantasia in my earlier post, but wanted to add that her 'tude was annoying as hell. It wasn't your best, Fantasia, just shut up and take the criticism. Her "She's a mom" comment about GE was cute, tho.

And to all the people who say they are voting for JSIV because they want to "stick it to TPTB" or some such: don't kid yourselves. 19Evil knows exactly what they are doing, first trashing him and bemoaning the tragedy of Jennifer, then Lythgoe huffily going on to defend John's honor (he's shocked, shocked I tell you, to discover such animosity toward JS). It's called controversy, and it kicks up viewer interest, which drives the ratings -- which is the only thing they give a rat's ass about. It's in their interest to have JS hang around as long as possible. Fuck all this blather about talent. They can always give the talented ones a record deal anyway. Vote for John if you like him, but don't imagine it's not exactly what TPTB wants to happen.

[mr.fun]

Thoughts:

First, it is really hard to sing in front of a band, particularly with all of the percussion and horns going - really, the only one who didn't have some pitch problems was LaToya, who sings infront of a band every weekend at the Oakland Marriott. I expect it'll be back to normal next week.

Second, these songs are like a musical straightjacket - the only way to sound good is to sing them as written, verbatim. The rhythm has to be precise and the melody has to fit in to the busy arrangement - pretty tough to "make it your own".

Third, nobody sang so well that their fan bases would be confident that they wouldn't hit the seal, so this week could be a pretty good barometer to the strength of support for each contestant.

That said, on to the singers -

Fantasia - WEAK. Tried to do too much and was really sloppy on both rhythm and pitch. Stylistic gambits did not work. Maybe she'll play P.Diddy to Jennifer's Biggie and shamelessly exploit her memory for the rest of the competition.

George - I had him as third best behind Diana and LaToya. Was closer to being on pitch than John, Jasmine or Fantasia. Had a feel for the Latin rhythm and was better able to add a little of his own personality than the others.

LaToya - Clean and professional, but totally encased by the musical straightjacket of the material. Suspicious that the camera cut away from her so much during her dancing - it had to be purposeful. Coin flip between her and Diana.

John - I have faith that he will go this week.

Jasmine - First half - pretty good. Second half - horrendously off pitch. I think my hypothesis about the band making it hard to hear pitch must be true, since the judges couldn't tell how bad the last bit really was. Simon often says it sounds different when you go back and watch the video after seeing it live - must be true. Clearly second worst.

Diana - Mark my words - Diana will be here awhile. She may have more singing talent than any of the contestants and maybe, just maybe, she is learning how to sell a song to the audience. She had, by far, the best feel for Latin rhythm. Tied for first with LaToya, but rising with a bullet.

On the seal: John, Jasmine, Fantasia

To Go: John.

[chrysanthemum]

To quote the great mind, Homer, "SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP," is the best way to describe last night's fiasco. Ugh. What a miserable bunch of humans and demonic producers.

Something else that pissed me off: Paula and Simon laughing throughout. How dare you rap to America about taking the voting seriously when you can't even give the attention to the "talent." Hypocrites.

And mr.fun, that's exactly how I saw Fantasia's behavior.

Fantasia - WEAK. Tried to do too much and was really sloppy on both rhythm and pitch. Stylistic gambits did not work. Maybe she'll play P.Diddy to Jennifer's Biggie and shamelessly exploit her memory for the rest of the competition.

Fantasia is trying to get Jen's votes, ya'll. Because even Jennifer said she wanted George to be the next AI. There's not that much love between those two ladies, IMHO.

[CatLady]

I thought they sounded lackluster, gave "meh" performances, and got lost in the shuffle of the Miami Sound Machine.

-- Which, by the way, got a big grooooan out of me when I heard they were coming along They totally drowned a lot of the performers out. --

And this was bad because...?

I'm actually hoping for DiBot to win this thing -- how pathetic is that? She's got the look, they can tweak the sound post-production and, in a live concert, the band can drown her out. Seems like a win-win to me.

[Queen B]

During her performance, my mom (who HATES American Idol) asked me if Donald Duck was musically in style now. Then Simon pops up with his cartoon comment, and it struck me. I still hate Fantasia.

I said to my neighbor that she sounded "Smurfy" last night before Simon got to his comments. I think "Munchkin-y" would also be appropriate. She was awful last night.

[Stevo]

God, what a suckfest for the most part, especially with I-Don't-Have-Shit-To-Say-Randy's comments and the scolding from the sea monkey. Ugh. And the ever-present crap about Jennifer getting booted last week really PISSED ME OFF! Who the hell cares? She's gone - good riddance. On with the show...

Blandtasia - if she sang half the notes in tune, it would be an overstatement to the N'th degree and her constant referring to JHud was sickening. Tossing in the crapfest about Gloria being a mom too - GAG, GAG, GAG! ("She'sh a mom toooooo") To the seal for sure - even if for no more than bringing up Jennifer and not every other freakin' contestant that's gotten booted in every show before.

George - Gag, retch, etc... the poor kid was SOOOO out of his element in this song. I've always wondered what a song in monotone that wasn't rap would sound like - now I know. And did he borrow JHud's eyeball popping expressions? To the seal? Perhaps.

Latoya - her best performance ever! Loved it! Great singing and great dancing.

John - Oh my god... it could not have been any worse and in my view, this by far was his most horrible of all the horrible performances he has had, which pretty much defines EVERY performance he's had. Surely to GOD he will get voted out this time, won't he? I mean - C'MON! Singing to your freakin' grandmother and then, so far out of tune she could have noticed THAT if the dear sweet lady was DEAF!

Jasmine - weak but not her worst performance. Yawn... Possibly to the seal?

Diana - outstanding performance on her part and great interaction with the crowd/band. She and Latoya should be the top two vote getters.

I voted (for the first time EVER) for Diana and Latoya and Jasmine.

Ok, to the seal - John, George and Fantasia.

Or, it might be George, Jasmine and John.

Out - should be John (but haven't we been saying that?). But - it MIGHT be Fantasia. (Oh, I would be so ever happy to see her leave!) I would send them BOTH packing if it was left up to me!

[Renee in CA]

Diana - Mark my words - Diana will be here awhile. She may have more singing talent than any of the contestants and maybe, just maybe, she is learning how to sell a song to the audience. She had, by far, the best feel for Latin rhythm. Tied for first with LaToya, but rising with a bullet.

Yes, this is how I'm seeing it too. Diana has gotten past the "pageant" phase and is actually performing better than some of the others who thought they had it made into the top 2 or 3. This is the time to be raising your game, and Diana has, while others (I'm looking at you, Fantasia) seem to be willing to coast. . .

[Alicia K.]

AAAAAAAAAAH!!! NO!!!!! Alicia K., I'm sending you the bill for my therapy because it took me almost 10 years to forget about that stupid song, then one mention and it all comes flooding back! NOOOOO! I don't want to be in 7th grade anymore! MAKE IT STOP!

Hey, piglet023, it could have been worse: they could have shown the video for "Bad Boys." ::shudder::

But sorry about the therapy. Does your employer have an EAP program?

[danablue]

This is by no means a conspiracy theory offering, but, can anybody think of a song George could have sung well out of the Gloria Estefan repertoire? I've racked my brains, but I cannot think of one that would have suited him.

[Hawkwild]

Oy! What a pile of steaming crap last night was!

Fantasia really blew it. She was all over the place with the pitch and just sounded out of control. She could go this week. I certainly didn't vote for her. Cripes.

George has sung without pitch for two weeks in a row. You're not auditioning for the Rex Harrison role in My Fair Lady, George! Use your notes! We know you got 'em. Just awful...who picks his songs?

Latoya - IMO, the best of the night. Good control, on pitch, and polished as all Hell. I think I have to agree with posters who think she's a little 'old' for this group. I have no doubt that "polished," in the minds of many, translates into 'dull.' Which is a shame. Putting LaToya in with the rest of the 'singers' is a bit like putting Anita Baker in with the Spice Girls.

John's inexorable march to a record contract continues. Wouldn't that be freakin' hilarious? Also, because I was watching the show taped, I accidentally voted for John by mistake a number of times before I realized that LaToya was "3" and not "4". So if he goes on, send the letter bombs to me.

Jasmine did very well for the first half. I was very psyched for her until she fell apart in the second half. Still, on average, she was better than Fantasia, George and John.

Diana - Shouty, icky, blech. Begone from my television, harlot!

Can't hardly wait for the results show tonight. I hope they figure out another creative way to mind-fuck George. Because that's the only reason I'm watching this crappy show anymore.

ETA: If last night's show proved one thing, it's that only Gloria Estefan should sing Gloria Estefan songs. They are, apparently, hard to sing well.

This post has been edited by Hawkwild: Apr 28, 2004 @ 10:45 am.

[stover33]

The rhythm is gonna get me! Wow, I had forgotten how much Gloria Estefan's songs blow chunks.

They were all pretty horrible tonight, except LaToya (who, in her pre-performance interview, looked disconcertingly like MC Hammer in drag). John S. got praise from Simon for... what, exactly? Not crying ontage when he is told week after neverending week how badly he sucks? And that dress on DiBot - yikes. Think DiBot's been spending a little too much time in the green room eating finger sandwiches.